Original subtitles

Holy shit. Do you know what we could do with this?

Yeah. I'm gonna get my house.

Hey, this soul-retrieval shit is fun. Admit it.

Yeah. You wanna see fun?

It's Stewart. Leave a message.

Hi, Stewart. It's your big sister.

The one who taught you how to tie your shoes,

- ride your bike and gave you everything. - Ride your bike. Yeah.

I just want you to know that you're gonna be getting

the next two months' rent up-front.

So don't worry about it, okay?

Okay.

Peg, are you feeling it?

I'm getting a lot of memories here.

Like the time you gave my phone number to the Colombian cartel,

and I had to hide out in the bathroom of the gas station down the street? Yeah.

You know, Peg, I choose to focus on the good times, not the bad.

- It's just a choice. - Okay.

- Garage. All right. Let's go. - Oh, fuck.

- Denny, help me. This is heavy. Here. - Come on.

Oh, fuck, Denny!

It was your last night, and I get that.

I'm just not gonna listen to you anymore, because I get...

All right. Whatever. I'll start...

Okay.

Fuck.

Okay, come on.

Thattagirl.

We still got it, babe.

There's no "we."

- What a douche. - Don't.

The guy cheated us. I tried signaling you.

No way the nickel content can be as high as he said it was.

- He tested it right in front of us. - The test was bullshit.

Why would I imagine this would go any other way?

Only outta your mouth does 25,000 mean five grand.

Yeah, well, I could've gotten more, but you didn't work with me in there.

And you dropped half of it at the house.

Okay?

Get in the fucking car!

All right, I'm just dragging these drives over here.

Have you ever backed any of these up?

As in?

- It's like the fucking NSA in here. - Don't talk to him.

He is in the zone!

Where'd you find that kid?

The supermarket.

- He said you're both friends of Bill. - Bill's the manager.

Okay. This is for you.

It's not much, but it'll buy us some time.

And by the way, it brings me no joy doing this.

It's actually physically painful.

My mortgage is gonna be a heavy lift, but I can deal with that.

What I can't deal with is having no future. I need a life.

We gotta keep the lights on here.

I feel like my organs are actually rejecting this.

Oh, God. I want you to take it.

Does a part of me wish you would say no?

Well, yes. Every part.

I mean, there's no part of me that wants you to take it, but you must.

You must.

The fuck is happening?

- I'm sorry. - It's upsetting.

It's so goddamn touching!

Just think of it as a loan, okay? Ten percent interest.

Ten percent?

Eight. I'll give you an introductory rate.

I gotta handle my situation.

This is just a drop in the bucket.

That was touching.

Thank you for having my back.

Going, going, gone.

Okay. Hey, don't forget about that meeting in Pioneertown tonight.

That's a real piece of business.

Wait, you were serious about that?

Yes, it's all coming together.

I am this close to this Dona Scarborough reward.

I am 98.6% sure that she's dead.

She left behind her balding bird, who is also her soulmate.

Never mind. Look, I know what I'm doing, okay?

Okay, listen, I have an assignment for you.

It's an actual case.

Cheating spouse, potentially.

We're still fishing, so no rough stuff.

Follow her. Take pictures if you see anything.

Yeah.

Actually, I don't know how I feel about

interfering with another woman's pursuit of love.

- Plus, I'm busy. - I hope you're fucking kidding.

I mean, who are we to know

that this woman who wears mock turtlenecks hasn't finally found love?

I mean, who am I to...

Is she wearing suspenders?

Okay, fine. I'm a professional.

That's her work address.

I'm on it.

No rough stuff.

Okay, sometimes it sticks going into third. Just keep grinding it.

- It'll go to fourth. - Okay, great.

Except if you hear a high, wheezing sound, drop it back to second.

- Got it. - Hey, thanks for the car.

I'll be careful. Unless I'm being followed.

Totally.

Listen, I don't like that you're doing this with Denny.

Next thing you know, you'll be sleeping together.

No. You already did?

I'm a woman, Carol. I have needs.

But never again. I hate him.

So what's this assignment you have for me?

Just a little surveillance.

Somebody's wife. Probable cheater. Just fish around.

- No rough stuff. - Why would I rough her up?

Well, you never know how things will turn.

Keep your knees bent.

What's up with her?

Grounded and 15, and her drone.

And standing in a lame fake Western town with you.

Hey, you know what my stepmother was like?

Mussolini with a bad perm and a nose job.

She told me I was fat and threw my birthday cake in the disposal.

Carol's sweet.

Look, she's not your mom, but she's not trying to be.

She's not a bitch either.

So just pay her some respect.

I'm so bored right now.

Welcome to Earth. It's boring.

You're the one that can't be boring. You need to be a comet, okay?

Yeah, whatever.

Okay. Kick some ass, comet style.

You gotta cover the tattoos.

Don't worry about it. Even grandmas get tattoos now.

Not spiders. Not on their necks. Tighten it up.

Okay.

Are you wearing spy glasses?

You only know they're fake 'cause I don't wear glasses.

You look like a beautiful Henry Kissinger.

Judy can't come.

She's coming. Take 'em off.

I need 'em. They got a mic in 'em.

- I gotta prove what he did. - These fucking things.

They look ridiculous. Come on.

Denny! Why do you destroy everything? Why is that your first instinct?

- There we go. - I have no words.

This is smarter. Nobody bugs dogs.

Come here, Judy.

There you go.

Look at this.

Judy's gonna record everything, starting now,

and he'll have no idea.

All right.

Just don't let the dog distract you. You'll miss my cue.

- You're cuing me? - Yeah.

Hey, I invented Miami Shock and Awe.

- Come here. - I don't wanna talk about this now.

- We're gonna be late. - There you go. Good girl.

- Come on, Judy. There you go. - Come on, Judy. Watch your mic. Here.

Yeah, hi. Get in.

Just remember, Miami Shock and Awe was all me.

Where do you think the name came from?

And who got the money from Alfredo in Miami? Me!

What's with this? Who are you trying to impress?

Simmer down and wait for my fucking cue.

Bob! This is Mr. Dennis. He works for Kachel.

Do you mind if I pat you down?

I don't know what you've been told about me, my friend,

but I'm an art consultant.

Why would I carry a gun?

Let's just keep it classy, okay?

Listen, I'm sorry, but that's what we're doing here.

You know, I'm authorized to spend a great deal of money here today, sir.

Now me?

Okay, I'll tell you what. I'm gonna pat you down, okay?

Okay, right here.

- I wasn't done. - You shave your legs.

All right. Okay, enou... That's enough.

- All right, okay. - Okay.

Okay.

Well, while we're at it, why don't we pat the dog down too?

Be my guest.

Pat the dog down.

- Good one. - Come on in.

- Okay. - Hey.

What the hell? Is something going on with you two?

He's got a great eye.

He does all of Kachel's buying for North America.

The colors.

It's the brushstrokes that get me.

Yeah, that's fairly typical for impressionism.

Actually, it's not typical.

He uses constructive strokes,

which is more representative of post-impressionism,

which is what this is.

Really? We're doing this?

I have a call, so if we could just...

Okay.

To be clear, this work,

this is a fake.

No. No.

No. I mean, no.

Just relax. Hey, he doesn't care.

Do you know how many fakes there are in the Metropolitan Museum?

Exactly. Neither do they.

No, I mean, it is stolen.

- But it is now on my wall and it's... - Bob, it's a fake.

It's okay. We know.

But it's some of the most incredible work I've ever seen.

I mean, half of the art world is fakes.

You wanna tell me who did this?

- Do you mind if the dog waits outside? - No, she's house-trained.

Look, we're on a roll here. Who's the artist?

You know, I have another buyer.

You know, I think Kachel's gonna fucking love this, even if it is a fake.

I could let it go for a million in cash by Friday.

Okay. Done.

Hey.

Now, tell me who the forger is.

Could you take the dog out?

Yeah, could you take the dog out?

We're talking here. Can you?

Come. Judy, come.

You know, Peggy, she's real cute and everything,

but she's a handful.

She's got her issues, but she's got a good heart.

We used to date in New York

back when she was dealing massive amounts of pot...

Hey, hey. This isn't a talk show.

Yeah. Right, I'll call Kachel tonight.

What time is it in Florence? I'm gonna need to take a picture.

No. No pictures. I'll send you a catalog.

Why do you need to call?

I thought you were authorized. I need the money by Friday.

I heard you the first time, champ. Friday it is.

- Great. You want a beer? - Yes.

Make yourselves at home.

Thank you.

I'd like to know more about the artist.

She was my wife.

So she's dead?

No, she left me.

- By dying? - No.

- 'Cause you're using past tense. - No.

Look, Kachel's buying, but he does his research.

Your wife's family put up a reward.

And she was forging art. This is deep, Bobby.

Bob or Robert.

Yeah, right.

This has nothing to do with the art, though.

They just wanted to find her.

How does this concern the sale?

Should we get the dog back in here? Judy!

Come, girl. Come!

Look, I'm just saying... And by the way, I wish her well.

But if she's dead, the work's gonna be more valuable.

I don't think that forgeries appreciate that way.

Well, that's how stupid the art world is.

We just need a little knowledge for marketing, really.

There was this incident...

at a taco truck.

A guy I worked with was having personal problems.

And in my hectic nose-to-the-grindstone haze, I missed it.

Hey, bubbles. How's things in clipboard?

You know, would it kill you to smile every once in a while?

You know what I mean?

Now, in my defense, I hadn't eaten all day.

Is this the line?

You're Bob Scarborough.

Do you mind if I cut in front of you? I'm pregnant, and I have got to eat.

You're not that pregnant.

- I'm sorry? - Okay.

No, you cannot cut in front of me.

- I'm sorry. - I am pregnant, and I have to eat.

We all got to eat.

- I'm having a child. - I know what pregnant means.

Look, he's right up there.

- Oh, my God! - No, don't do it!

Maybe if you've been in combat, you're prepared for this kind of trauma,

but I had no defenses.

Scarborough, you okay?

Scarborough?

I spiraled into a kind of existential tailspin.

I needed some time off. Honestly, I couldn't function.

Hello.

And Dona didn't help. She really didn't.

But a leave of absence doesn't mean you become a hobo.

It's sad what happened. It's unfortunate.

I think when his glasses...

Oh, my God. Yes. Maybe you could have been nicer.

- Maybe you could have said hello. - Hello.

- I said hello. - Whatever.

I called him "bubbles."

Okay. Well, then you were friendly.

I was snide.

Well, you live, you learn, babe. Who is the sweetest bird?

And then he was dead.

- And then he was dead. - Okay, you know what, Bob?

You probably said hello to a lot of people who are dead. Okay?

Hello.

This has been going on too long.

Either you go back to work, or you get a shrink.

I can't even paint with this shit.

So, I sought help from a psychiatrist

who helps trauma victims

by guiding them through hallucinogenic sessions.

It changed my life. It changed my whole perspective.

Like, radically.

Bob.

They need you at the studio.

Welcome back. We are following breaking news right now.

Let's take you to downtown Palm Springs.

That is where a massive sinkhole has collapsed,

swallowing a tourist.

Alicia Hererra is on the ground. She has all of the late-breaking details.

Alicia, what can you tell us about this tragedy?

Ho-Hold on a second.

Is this a tragedy? Does it even matter?

I mean, it's just death. That's where we're all headed.

- What's he doing? - What the hell's he doing?

'Cause everything else, all of this, is stupid.

Dona didn't really get it.

So, I got fired.

Yeah, I saw.

Let's open the champagne. I can do something meaningful now.

And what's that, Bob? You gonna trip balls professionally?

It gives me perspective.

The next six months had a pretty deep effect.

My perspective sharpened.

My televised epiphany seemed to send people to my door.

I gave them hope, I think.

Everything is stupid.

Guru Bob, is psychic pain stupid?

Everything's stupid.

I need some coffee.

- Everything is stupid. - Thank you.

I had changed.

And she hadn't.

It's sad, isn't it?

You hear it all the time. Couples grow apart.

Ultimately, my wife was a prisoner of a two-dimensional perspective.

Yeah.

One time, she was screaming at me like a banshee...

Hey, man.

Hey, if you ever need to talk, I'm opening a qigong studio.

Safe space. Men only.

He's talking now, Denny.

Okay, go on. One time what?

The journey of the self, through the self, to the self?

I could use some investors, you know.

I don't see the dog anymore.

Are you thinking, like, Guru Bob's Qigong, or...

- We got to find the dog. - Silent partner.

I have a following.

I'll give you a call.

Judy!

Judy!

Come on, girl. Judy!

- Judy! Come here, girl. Come on, girl. - Hey, hey! Good girl. Come on.

- Come on, Judy. - Come on, girl. Good girl.

Come on, sweetie.

- Come here, girl. - Hey, what's she got in her mouth?

Drop it. Judy, drop it.

Whatever it is, she swallowed it. Let's go.

Are you working for the other side?

It's insane what you just did in there.

I was at the crest. It's go time. And you decide this is the moment for you

to chisel out seed money for your pretend qigong studio.

Peg, it was an opportunity.

Is this another one of your choices, Denny?

Don't ever talk to me again. Ever.

Really? We're gonna do this?

You okay, girl? Look at you. You okay?

I had one shot.

I had him on the hook, you took him right off.

- That's not... Okay. All right. - No, do not talk. Okay?

Now I got to find another way to nail him

and to neutralize this father-daughter fucking hit team

long enough to get a reward.

'Cause there's no way that Dona left a bald fucking bird.

I don't know how you're gonna pull this off.

So this is your new move?

- Okay. - First, you just crash the whole plan.

And now you're trying to wear down my confidence.

Why don't you call Kachel? Maybe he can help you.

I thought you don't say his name.

- I don't say his name. - Well, you just said his name.

- I can't stand the fucking guy. Come on. - 'Cause he's everything you wanna be.

Really? I wanna be a douchebag who treats you like shit?

Okay, no. I'm trying to build a life here. I don't need you to fuck it all up.

Yeah.

I know for a fact that you're upsetting her.

I got to get her to a vet.

You can't afford a vet. Come here, Judy.

Oh, God.

That feels better. Right, girl?

Hey, what the fuck is that?

It's a finger. Oh, God!

Good girl.