Original subtitles

POLICE STATION

I just don't get it. Am I a suspect or a witness?

We'd like to know how you're connected to Mr. Veseli.

Once again, I don't know those people.

Mr. Ramadan,

I doubt that you would visit a stranger and have your son circumcised there.

- By the Veseli clan, at that. - I was invited as a star guest.

And I did a bit of research for my show.

What happened to Sami was a coincidence. It happened by chance. Believe me.

So the circumcision happened by chance?

- Is that normal with you people? - What do you mean by that?

Us Arabs, or what? Are circumcision parties forbidden?

Kida! You don't have to say anything that might incriminate you.

I did nothing. I told you to wait downstairs.

Who are you? Do you have anything to contribute?

We can talk to each other as equals.

We share the same profession.

- Which is? - Police work.

Do you have any forensic evidence?

No. That's what I thought.

If you hold this man here against his will for any longer

without having any evidence against him,

it might quickly end badly for you.

It's known as "racial profiling".

Okay, perhaps this all got blown a little out of proportion.

I agree.

Mr. Ramadan, we know you're a busy man,

but it would be great if you could be available in the next days.

Just in case more questions come up from our side.

- I'm sure you understand? - Of course I do. 100 %.

I know you're just doing your job. I'm sorry for my friend's insinuations.

- Just trying to help. - Thank you, Ms. Policewoman.

- Have a nice day. - Thank you.

Thanks. Come on, Marius.

- That went well. - You did well.

One more question.

Can we take a selfie? My wife is a huge fan.

Oh, there's one more.

I see, it's a group photo now.

Everybody say, "Cheese".

Cheese!

Let's do one more with Marius Jürgens.

Be ready.

Marius Jürgens.

- I need to go to the toilet! - Let me do that, please.

What? You think I can't make a sandwich?

- Sami! Hurry up! - What's wrong with Sami?

Did something happen? He won't let me near him.

No, but he's growing up. He's got secrets and stuff.

Puberty, you mean?

- Bit early, don't you think? - I'll talk to him.

Mom!

- Yes? - Get Sami out of the bathroom.

Okay.

- Is that my sandwich? - Yes.

That's way too much butter. I don't like Dad's sandwiches.

You're right.

- I'll scrape it off, okay? - Yes.

- What's up with your brother? - I don't know and I don't care.

I can't piss. It's blocked.

You need to tape it in a circle. Let me help you.

Mom's better at it.

Hey! We made a deal. You promised.

We said we'd keep Mom out of it, because it's a men's thing.

- You said I'd get money. - And you will.

When? The other boy got half a million!

What's wrong with you? Don't exaggerate.

I'm calling Mom.

Hey, I'll give you 200 euros and we're good.

- Now? - I don't have it on me right now.

- Mom! - Hey! Are you trying to kill me?

If I'd known I'd get so little money, I wouldn't have done it.

You should be proud. Look at your nice Mercedes convertible.

- CL 500? - CL 500.

PUBLIC BATHS NEUKÖLLN

- How's the water? - Splendid, Kida!

Resistance is futile.

One should recognize the powerful force of the current

and swim along with it.

It's an act of manorial sovereignty.

The course of events is inevitable.

One should let oneself be embraced by it

and swim along.

In preparation for one's own death.

Tom.

We're so excited, dude! It's gonna start soon.

Oh! Right. Shit, Kida...

Listen...

I am directing my own project now.

The producers didn't believe I could be a director.

But after your, or rather my Wilhelm trailer...

Well, they believed I can.

I have a green light myself now.

So you peddled my trailer to push your own projects?

What does this mean?

Well, it means I'm out.

- I'm afraid I don't have time. - You can't be serious.

Ricky is on board! We're all set.

Ricky Gervais is happy you're directing. He's coming soon! You can't do this.

Kida, you don't need me.

Remember what I said.

You are always the best director of yourself.

Can't we turn on the TV?

Sami.

Listen.

Sometimes a son needs to listen to his father.

And sometimes you have to take risks or make sacrifices,

so your family will be better off, do you understand?

I don't.

Maybe it's better you don't. Just enjoy your childhood while you can.

But I did my homework. I did my reading.

Can I at least go play soccer now?

You're right. Go.

Come here.

How could you hide from me

that Tom bailed out and went to the competition?

I had to hear that from his agent. Do you realize how humiliating that is?

Kida, if you want to be a producer, then you'll have to produce.

The biggest part of producing is communicating.

Sabine, I'm sorry, I should have contacted you.

But I was looking for a solution. A good solution.

- And I will find a great solution. - Kida...

If there's one thing I can't stand, it's empty promises.

I won't make empty promises, I'll make full ones, trust me.

No, you're just going to find me a new director now.

WIM WENDERS WINNER OF CANNES

TWO OSCAR NOMINATIONS, A REAL DIRECTOR

Hey, Wim.

Hey, Kida.

Private screening?

I wanted to re-watch an old movie and figured I'd do it in style.

"The Blue Angel", Josef von Sternberg.

Marlene Dietrich's big break.

Is there a better way to watch it than this?

I agree.

I hear you're making a film now too? What's it about?

It's also about great German stars, including Marlene Dietrich,

and a film crew that films itself, while I play an extra.

A film within a film, huh? That can easily flop.

I tried it once with "The State of Things".

The only one who ever managed was Truffaut, with "Day for Night".

Film in film usually flops.

Like soccer in the cinema.

Sure, but it's not a movie. It's a series for TV.

And I'm about to get the green light. It's looking very good.

I wish you good luck.

I often sat there and the traffic light just stayed red.

Sure, but I have Ricky Gervais.

Cinema takes precious time. You shouldn't waste it.

You should do more with it than just add to the noise.

I want to go out again too.

Go on the road, have an adventure.

Where to?

The whole world is one big garden for big pictures.

It just takes courage. You just have to go out there.

Why don't you film our garden then, Wim?

We'd build you a garden. Anything you need for your adventure.

I figured you'd say that.

No offense, but it's just not for me.

You know, I'm not a man of series. I have to get to the point.

I want to end stories, not just stay in-between.

Don't take offense, it's...

It's nothing personal.

That'll give you the strength to get your green light.

Kida Ramadan.

Hey, Kida! Can we take a selfie?

- Is that okay? Can you do that? - Sure.

- No problem. - Come here.

- Cool. Cool. - Can we have one without him too?

- From there. - Right.

Turn around.

Cool.

Thank you. Thank you, Kida.

Take care. Bye!

The editors invited us, but we have to pay.

So don't order too much. Ricky Gervais won't make it.

EDITORIAL MEETING IN A VERY, VERY EXPENSIVE ESTABLISHMENT

- Awesome, Ricky is really coming? - Yep.

I wrote to him. He's got some delay.

But he'll join us. Probably.

That's great, Kida.

Leo told me about how well it's going and about the great team you work with.

- You're a real film family. - The world's best intern.

- Don't suck up. - I knew it.

- Indeed. - Wim Wenders said no.

- He's shooting a road movie. - Kida, I'm honestly relieved.

But it's still Wim.

Sure, but we need someone new, with a fresh, more diverse approach.

You hiring Tom inspired me.

Hey! There she is! Heike! Over here!

Make some space.

This is our new director, my dear Heike.

You look great! Amazing.

- Heike. - About time we worked together.

Absolutely. I'd love to.

You've met already? Great! And this is, um... Well...

- Jürgen? - No, Marius.

- Right, Marius. - You look like Detlev Buck.

- You know, from the horse movies. - The horse movies!

That's not me, at all. I'm Marius Jürgens, producer.

I also act. We're colleagues, if you will.

- Heike! - I don't believe it.

Sabine. Sabine, hey!

I get it, a directorial debut, change, fresh air and all that.

But I might as well do it myself.

The press loves her, Kida. Besides, she's good for the ratings.

Would you like some more, ladies and gentlemen?

- Absolutely. - I'll have more too.

Kida will pay for it.

Listen, it's starting to add up. I made an interim bill.

- Marius, can you pay? - I don't have a bank card on me.

- What do you mean? - I don't have a card.

- What? - Just pay it.

Stop ordering then.

- Business receipt, please. - Thank you.

Oh, Ricky Gervais is coming?

- Mm-hmm. - Really?

We'll have a real work meeting then.

Yes, Kida organized it.

I don't think I've ever been this excited.

Ricky Gervais!

You worked in England, didn't you?

With James Bond?

Didn't you have something with Daniel Craig?

I find his legs a bit short.

Sandra Bullock is practically German.

Why don't we just ask all German actors in Hollywood?

We'll end up with an amazing cast.

Great idea, Heike. That's just what we'll do.

Now...

Now the project has found its spark again.

But that's not the concept.

That's not the concept.

My concept is that our little German actors

will play German legends.

Honestly, Kida,

are you afraid you won't be the center of attention?

Is that it? You're that narcissistic?

Heike, I'm glad to have a woman on board,

but it doesn't give you the right to ruin my concept.

- What's this about? - You think I'm in because I'm a woman?

Are you kidding me?

Sabine said it's because of the quota.

- No, no, no, no, no... - Sabine!

- Hey, Sabine! - No, stop!

I only meant that Heike brings good quotas.

Good viewer quotas... ratings!

And great reviews. That's what I meant.

Guys, we're on to something really big here.

It'll allow us to finally box up against the streaming companies.

But we can only do that together.

Listen, Sabine, if we weren't friends I would get up and walk out now.

Because I really don't need to accept shit like that from him.

No! No!

No. I mean, yes, you're right.

Whoa, you have such power.

I like that.

Kida?

I think you could apologize to Heike.

It was a misunderstanding.

A misunderstanding worthy of an apology, don't you think?

Just do it.

Fine.

Heike, I hereby apologize to you for what I said about you being a woman.

I'm very sorry. I'd be happy if you accept my apology.

I didn't mean it that way. I apologize.

- Okay. - Do you accept it?

- Yes. - Thank you.

Sabine, she accepted.

Tell me, Kida, when is Ricky coming?

I'm wondering too.

Normally he's always punctual and he gets in touch.

- I don't want to bother him. - It's fine, it's fine.

This dress sucks anyway.

Leo?

My English won't get any better either.

- Well then... - Take care, Sabine.

Kisses. Ciao.

Ricky Gervais was never going to come.

Right?

If we're going to work together, then you'll never lie to me again.

Got that?

I'm the director, so I take the creative decisions.

Sure, you're producer and actor,

but on my set, I call the shots.

Understood?

- You've got my word. - Understood?

Okay.

Your superstar's not picking up?

No, he'll answer. I'm sure he's busy.

Come on. Americans go to the toilet too.

- He's English, dude. - Same difference. Mayflower?

He's got people taking care of stuff, so I chase after him.

Honestly though, I'm bringing his series to Germany.

Tell me, Kida, are you writing all that stuff yourself?

The phrasing, the dialogs.

Or is it more improvised?

I'm not a big fan of improvisation, you know.

I wrote a novel. 2.400 pages.

The publisher said, "Great, brilliant", blah blah blah, "the next James Joyce".

I said, "Will you publish it?", they said, "If you shorten it."

I said no.

"Not a single word,

not one letter will be cut out of my work."

And do you know why?

Because I make art, not commerce.

You need someone like me in your writers' room.

Do you understand? Someone with a different view.

I'll get the engine running.

I'm your friend.

The worst thing that could happen to you is commercial shit.

Better continue playing a gangster then.

And we'll continue playing jeu de boules .

That works out great too.

At some point I said, "I'm tired of all this damn stress."

Now look at me. It worked out fine.

They said they were out of tickets, until I mentioned your name.

SCREENWRITERS' RECEPTION

So these are Germany's best authors?

Allegedly, this is the core. The nucleus.

"Script, script, script", Billy Wilder.

- Huh? Aren't we going to the cinema? - These people write cinema.

They're stars, but in disguise. Like Wonder Woman.

I don't believe a word.

Excuse me. This is my daughter, my princess.

Could you keep her entertained for a while? I'll tip extra.

- She loves chocolate pudding. - Of course.

Let's put our rods in the water and see who catches the best fish.

Yes, let's catch the best.

Good day.

Hello.

Hello.

- Daniel. - You here?

I'm looking for a writer. You're the best, man.

- Want to be my head writer? - No, no, no.

I'm only here for a short time. I'm flying back to the US next week.

They're less envious.

It always takes forever for something to happen here.

And everyone always wants to have their say.

It does my head in!

He's American now.

RALF HUSMANN AUTHOR OF "STROMBERG"

Ralf "The Thing" Husmann!

You've still got it.

How are you?

You smoke now?

Sure, but it's safe. It's electric.

How are you? Writing?

- You wouldn't know it. - Ralf, I know all your works.

"The Dressage Rider".

- "The Dressage Rider"? - Yup.

Listen up.

You stole "The Office" with "Stromberg".

You did a great job.

I'm also doing a remake, of Ricky Gervais' "Extras".

This time it's legal. With German bureaucracy and discipline.

Still have a sense of humor?

No, that's really not my thing.

- Too legal, or what? - Yes, too legal.

Hello. Marius Jürgens, producer.

You write, we produce.

Producer? And what do you produce?

We want to produce, but...

Okay, I see. I have an agency.

- "Writer's Talent". - Great.

Please send in your proposal and I'll take a look.

Let's hope I like it better than your jacket.

Quite the dull event, huh?

I'd like to play a little game with you.

I'll give you five words,

and you'll tell me the first things that come to mind.

Funny, if you can.

- Mozart, brain, fawn... - ...devil, chocolate.

- You got that from a book. - Did you read it too?

Well. Take a look.

Seventh edition.

Part of five curricula at unis.

- Yes, that's it. - Incredible, huh?

But that's you!

"The Joy of Feeling".

What an honor!

To see you here! Unbelievable.

This book contains such wisdom. Such wisdom!

You would make me a very happy man

if you would answer my next question with a simple nod.

Here it comes.

Would you like to be the head writer of the remake of Ricky Gervais' "Extras"?

Stavros, I have to interrupt.

I wrote a new script. It follows the rules in your book.

And it would mean so much to me if you read it.

You know a lot of people.

I'll take a look, but I can't promise anything.

We were in the middle of a conversation.

- So were we. - I'll get in touch, Alfred.

- I wrote the address on it. - Thank you.

- Him again? - That Alfred will never sell anything.

If I do it...

she'll have to be on the team.

She's a great writer.

Okay?

Of course. I understand.

You'll have to put a team together.

It's so warm in here.

So you're "Tomate". Why? I didn't understand.

It's our first names combined,

Tomas, Maximilian, Teodor.

So where's the third?

Maximilian is out. He was too demanding.

He kept blocking us. Thinks he's better. He's back there.

Listen up.

I need the best writers in this country.

- Precise writers who get to the point. - Look, it's that "Thing" again.

He's just acting funny, man. His days are over.

So you say we're dragging down German cinema?

Yup, that's right.

He even admits it.

And you prevented our TV Award nomination?

Every goddamn year.

Here, Dad, a writer. Can we go now? I finished my pudding.

- We'll go soon, sweetie. - Hey Kida, Maximilian.

You're Maximilian?

They were just talking about you. They called you unfunny.

Of course I'm funny.

So, what's this about?

- Ricky Gervais' "Extras" remake. - I want to be in.

But as head writer, I don't want to have a boss.

Are you nuts? Stop it!

- That's what you meant by cinema? - No, that's TV.

Dude.

Marius, every step puts my life at risk.

It's just a temporary solution. But it's a cheap one.

- I'm a diabetic. My sugar levels! - I'm sure there are sweets upstairs.

- Our proposal for the first episode... - Nah, nah, nah, your proposal.

Our proposal for the first episode

is to open with one of the greatest geniuses.

We deconstruct Goethe's image of masculinity.

- Stop. - Setting, Weimar.

Stop.

We tried Goethe. It didn't work.

Why didn't anyone tell us? I wasted three days!

Instead of talking about an effeminate dead man for the 1,000th time,

why don't we finally focus on our extra, Abdullah?

- That's right. That's a very good idea. - Thanks.

- Care to tell me your name? - Huyen.

She's an excellent writer.

She was my master student and wrote a book about Leni Riefenstahl.

- Still needs to be made into a movie. - We need a woman on the team too.

That's good for this diversity.

I already finished something.

"Abdullah and Catherine the Great", my idea.

Take a cue from the lady. I like you more and more.

- Hooyen? Hoo... - Huyen!

I have a question about Catherine the Great, from Russia.

- Isn't she Russian? - She's German.

I didn't know that.

Go on, tell me.

Abdullah and Manele Drehrich are talking and Marlene ignores Abdullah.

Then she gets... He gets a slap in the face at some point.

Dad, can't you read it? Your children are reading your script.

Okay, you continue.

It's about Peter Three, who has a girlfriend called Catherine Two,

and Catherine is angry with Peter Three because he won't play dolls with her.

Catherine Two wants to murder him with a knife,

but in that moment Abdullah enters

and then somehow everything starts all over again.

Dad fell asleep. I almost did too.

Off to bed, kids. Your father can read it himself.

- Good night. - Good night.

Solar panels. It pays for itself.

We could cover a third of our electricity needs.

That's awesome.

Tax-wise, it's easy to deduct.

Buy it then.

All battalions to the front! Attack!

Where's the horse?

Yes! And guns over here!

Fire! Everyone to the front. Yes!

Kill him! Yes!

The battlefield is ours.

We will win.

- Kida, have you been gambling again? - No.

- I told you you'd ruin us. - I didn't do anything.

You're lying.

The war is inevitable.

We'll have to go through it.

- What is it? - Karo?

- What's wrong? - You murdered me.

But I'd never do that. Go back to sleep.