All language subtitles for German Genius - S01E01

PREMIERE
3RD SEASON "4 BLOCKS"

When I sleep with my wife,
you're always there.

FINALLY PLAYING SOMEONE
OTHER THAN TONI HAMADY

CASTING FOR AN INTERNATIONAL SERIES

SASCHA GERŠAK
ARTHOUSE ACTOR AND KIDA'S ETERNAL RIVAL

Sascha?

- Hey, Kida!
- What are you wearing?

- Cool, right?
- What are you supposed to be?

Isn't it obvious?
A Germanic chief.

- Germanic? Right.
- You're not here to audition, are you?

Sure, I'm Germanic too.

- That's why I came.
- But you're not Germanic, bro!

Why not, bro?

You're Yugoslavian, so why not me?
I'm more Germanic than you are.

Slave Number Five.

"Do you still love me?"
"Can't tell you right now."

And then I squeeze
the life out of him.

Oh, God!

You both came?
That's horrible.

That wasn't the plan, you know.

I'm sorry about that.

Kida, you're so early.
Did you lose weight?

German discipline. I'm Germanic.
We're always on time.

Right.

Oh, look. Isn't that great?

Thank you.

- Here are your shackles.
- For me?

Yes, your shackles.
You're Slave Number Five.

I'm not Slave Number Five.
I'm Germanic, like him.

We've already discussed this
with your agent.

Yeah, lovely. Studio Nine, Babelsberg.
It's fantastic.

Except that I need about 500,000 mg
of vitamin C every minute.

Yeah, well, it's cheaper here.

Listen, I have two guys
who are waiting for me. I gotta go.

Yeah, I know.
Big love to the kids.

Okay. Yeah. Bye. Bye.

Kida Ramadan!

Amazing! Welcome.
I love your work, man.

"Block 4"...

So, this here is a Roman temple,

destroyed by German tribes.

One slave, one,
has managed to escape.

He goes into hiding.

It's dark.

His mission...

impossible,

is to attack the tribal leader.

Does Kida speak English?

- No idea.
- Just so he won't embarrass us.

- English is okay?
- I speak English.

Good. Good. English.

Here's the situation: It's night.

You managed to escape from your cell.

Very quietly...

You take your chain...

around his neck.

And you kill him!

I'll be over there.

And... Whoa! Whoa!

Kida? Kida!

That's a prop.

Alright, as we say in Germany...

And...

Please.

Quietly.

Put some force into it.

Come on. Give it.

Some force.

I think that's enough.
Enough, Kida.

Oh my God, Steven.
Are you okay?

Laura! Finn!
We need some help.

- Ice!
- Are you okay, Sascha?

- Are you insane, man?
- You told me to use force.

Sure, but not that much.

I'm sorry.

Not "Blocks 4", "4 Blocks".

- Mmm-hmm.
- Yeah? Sorry.

Let me be clear with you.
You have a day player's face.

So that's all the requests I'm getting.

- Yes!
- Hello, Brigitte. Good day.

- Hey, Kida.
- All good?

What's with him?

Hey, Buck! Are you okay?

No, Marius Jürgens.

Brigitte, I swear I just mistook him
for Detlev Buck.

- Why is he crying?
- What's up?

- I'm a little angry with you.
- Why?

Do I look like Slave Number Five?

- What kind of shit are you getting me?
- Slave Number Five?

My favorite book.
They're making it into a film?

- And you got him the role?
- Could you stop that? Excuse me?

It's an e-cigarette.
That's just vapor.

Have you read the scene?
Or perhaps even the novel?

- Yes, sure. I've read it. Yes.
- Really? What's the series called then?

"Slave Number Five".
It's the leading role.

So you haven't read it?

He leads the slave revolt.

He kills the Germanic ruler
and becomes Roman emperor.

It's an epic!

A 10-part series,
possible future seasons,

international cast, huge budget,
broadcast in over 190 countries.

They shoot in English, but I got it.
And your English isn't all that.

My English is fine. Good enough.

Anyway, epic or not, it's over.

- Know what I mean?
- Listen, here are your requests.

"Bikers & Arabs -
The Story of an Upstart".

"Hummus & Mustard",
a German comedy.

Or art house, "The Taste of Rose Water".
All supporting roles.

- Those are all for him?
- Yes.

- Brigitte, I'm not a puppet anymore.
- You're an actor, so you are a puppet!

Listen, we need to make a change.

I need to have a say.
I need to take control.

If you want creative control,
become a producer.

We both know that the financial side
isn't your strong suit.

Brigitte, you're my agent.
You need to empower me, to support me.

All you do is slow me down.

Kida is right.
That's how it should be.

Martin knows what I mean.

- Marius.
- Same difference.

- What's wrong?
- I need a sip of water.

Bro, go get some water,
we don't want her delivering here.

I just want something to drink. Thanks.

Kida, can you stop it?

- What?
- Your breathing is so loud.

That's my polyps.
You know about my polyps.

Having you hang around unemployed
is not easy for us.

I have to work.

- I'm not unemployed.
- You are.

Why else are you here, Dad?

Tell us what you get up to
when you're not filming.

I wait, and I think.

- That's part of my job.
- Unemployed people do that too.

You know, Karo,
filming means waiting.

As tax advisor,
you also wait for receipts and records.

I can't accept everything anymore.
I play hard to get.

Kida Ramadan is very in vogue.
I'm very modern.

The fans all wonder,
"What's next? What will he do next?"

I've become a brand.
I'm relevant.

That's it, I'm relevant.

Go to your rooms, kids.

- Again?
- Go, please. I need to talk to Dad.

- Why? What's going on today?
- Sami, go on.

- Do you want to argue?
- No, it's okay.

Let them stay then.

Kida, why do you always wait around
for the next role?

Don't just sit there.
Why don't you take the initiative?

- Do you have a customer today?
- I have to do a perm in 15 minutes.

BARBER SHOP "TONI HAMADY"
KIDA'S ADDITIONAL INCOME

- Salamu alaykum.
- Alaykum salam.

Charge my phone.

Sitting and chatting.
Good job, guys.

What's this, a call center?

The phone's on fire.

Sick!
Ricky Gervais tagged Kida on Twitter.

Another one.

Marvin Kren.

- Isn't that the director of "4 Blocks"?
- Yes.

I'll pass it on.

Boss?

DIRECTOR OF "4 BLOCKS"

Ricky Gervais tagged us.
I mean, you, but our series.

- He loves "4 Blocks".
- I get tagged all the time, man.

- Why would I care about some Ricky?
- Are you mad? He's a superstar.

"The Office", "After Life",
the Golden Globes speeches.

We share the same birthday.

- "Extras"!
- What's "Extras", bro?

" Extras"?
You don't know "Extras"?

"Extras" is a great show.

It's a series in which he plays
an extra who bums around on set,

but somehow makes it big
and gets his own show.

What can I say?
The show made him rich and famous.

Rich and famous?

And that works in England?
That should work in Germany then too.

Dude, you have to do it.
You have to meet him.

Now is the time!
Fly to London. You're on his radar.

Okay then,
let's take a look at that Ricky.

Let's look at his awards first.

Wow. "Golden Globe".

"British Comedy Award".

Wow, an Emmy.

Okay, so he's not too bad.

Right,
and what about that "Extras" thing?

"A new movie set each episode."

"Famous actors."

"Andy is desperate
for a speaking part."

Sounds great, man.

Let's take a look.

Okay, not bad.

"EXTRAS", SEASON 1, EPISODE 3

And, action.

Sorry.

If you play a Nazi
you're guaranteed an Oscar.

- What are you doing?
- A superstar tagged me.

Ricky Gervais, I heard.

- How do you know Ricky Gervais?
- I've watched all of his stuff.

I thought you didn't watch series?

- I don't watch German series.
- When do you watch them?

- When you're asleep.
- You know what?

I'm getting
the remake rights to "Extras",

and I'll make his series in Germany.

You want to squander our money
on film production?

We're lucky if we can
even pay off our mortgage.

You told me to take the initiative.
We get the money from the network.

Darling, come here for a sec.
You have to type something for me.

Here. To Ricky Gervais, please.

You want me to write to Ricky Gervais?

I'll say it in German
and you'll type in English.

"Hello, Ricky, my brother."

"Brother"? Let's take it easy here.

"Hello, Ricky."

"Just as you admire my work,

I also admire your work", heart emoji.

Men do that. Just do it.

"As I'm a big fan of yours..."

"We both came from the bottom
and worked our way to the top."

Just type what I'm saying.
I know how he ticks. I'm building...

- "We're both rags to riches."
- I'm building up a brotherly bond.

"Guess what?"

- "I'm in London tomorrow."
- You're in London tomorrow?

Why do you think I'm packing, Karo?

- You're flying to London now?
- Yes, it's a risk, but fuck it.

"Coffee, question mark."

Fuck! I told you he'd call!

I told you so!

You did a great job. Look.

- Pick up!
- No, wait.

Let him wait a bit.
He should know I'm not a doormat.

Ricky, thank you for your time.
It's a pleasure. Your tweet was great.

Oh, yeah.
No, I meant every word.

I think "4 Blocks" is amazing,
and you're great, and...

So you wanna remake
my show "Extras"

in German for German people?

Yes, I love "Extras".

Germany love "Extras".

- And I can do it.
- Sure.

Okay, um, great...

You know,
the important thing is, like, big stars.

They have to be well known, so you can
deconstruct them and everyone gets it.

It's like a shortcut
to the comedy in them.

I mean, you got stars...

Diane Kruger, Christoph Waltz...

- Arnold Schwarzenegger.
- Christoph Waltz is a good friend.

But he's now in Hollywood
and he don't have time.

Diane Kruger is very arrogant
and not correct.

And Arnold Schwarzenegger
is from Austria.

Doesn't matter, does it?

Hitler was from Austria
and he made it big in Germany.

We have Elyas M'Barek.
Matthias Schweighöfer, Til Schweiger.

- That's names you're saying, is it?
- Yeah.

Okay. Sorry, I haven't...

I haven't heard of...
I'm sure they're great, but...

The thing is,
they can't just be famous in Germany.

They have to be German stars,

but world famous.

- Okay, Ricky.
- Yeah?

- I have a big, big idea.
- Right.

Einstein, Goethe,

Marlene Dietrich, Brecht, huh?

Right.

Oh, they're certainly...
They're very, very famous.

But, they're dead.

Yes...

What do you mean, yes?

How are you gonna
get Einstein in "Extras"?

- Okay.
- Okay.

The small stars in Germany
what's playing the big German genius.

That's the idea.

So within the program,

the film you're making
is about Einstein or something,

played by ordinary actors,
and that's how you get big stars.

They're all dead,
they're played by...

Well, that's not quite the same as...

I mean, it's complicated as well.

But I like the name,
"German Genius".

That's a good hook.
And I like you, so... Yeah.

- Go for it.
- I love you, Ricky.

Wallah , I love you.

- But, Ricky...
- What?

For me,
the big important point is...

Please, Ricky,
you must play in my show.

A cameo. Please.

You know, I'll give you my blessing
to make it, but I'm very busy.

I'm working up a new tour,
I'm writing a new show.

I've got charity stuff.

I come to London.

Right. Well...

If it helps with the show,

why don't we do a thing
where you come to London?

Two hours.
We meet in a pub or something.

You play you, I play me.
You pitch me the idea.

I'm not really into it,
cause I don't think it's very good,

but because I'm a nice guy
I go, "Yeah, whatever."

- Yes.
- Okay.

- It's okay?
- Yeah. Fine.

- I kiss your hands.
- I don't know what that means.

- Wallah .
- Yeah.

TV NETWORK
EDITORIAL MEETING

No, I don't see that.

And if I don't even see it,
the viewers won't either.

I'll be right with you.

You're getting a female editor.
No more macho gaze.

No, that's my final word,
and your last chance.

Oh, great to see you.

Wow, wow, wow!

The best woman,
the best network.

I tell everyone, at every event.

We're all very excited
that you approached us.

Likewise.

Sabine, you have that new funding
to foster diversity, right?

I'm working on this remake thing
I told you about.

I got the rights to "Extras",
even if everyone wanted them.

So you want to do "Extras"
in Germany?

With German geniuses, but the films
about them aren't actually made.

Yes.

No, listen. It's like "Extras".

It's about an extra, Abdullah.
That's me.

He wants to make it as an actor
and get into a serious acting agency.

He's a migrant,
so it doesn't get much more diverse.

He goes to historical film sets,
where they give scenes a different spin.

And how do you intend
to explain that Abdullah

keeps showing up on historical sets?

They shoot so much of that stuff here.

Kida, you're a great guy,
but "Extras" in Germany won't work.

Ricky Gervais is on board.

- Ricky Gervais?
- Ricky Gervais is on board.

Really? He's acting too?

- With us, here in Germany?
- Yes.

I didn't want to say right away,
but I met him.

- You met him? Where?
- He invited me to London.

To his place.
We ate, we drank, had a barbecue.

You had a barbecue
with Ricky Gervais?

It was love at first sight.

Sabine, do you realize

that you can be the first woman
to bring Ricky to Germany?

You could take over
as editor in chief.

You can be the boss.

"Extras" has always been
one of my favorite series.

I just never knew
how to do it in Germany, without stars.

Sabine, Sabine, that's why...

- "German Genius".
- Yes, that might work.

If Ricky is really on board...

- What's he like as a person?
- Honestly...

He has a kind heart.
He loves German TV and "4 Blocks".

If he saw you,
he'd love you right away.

You're a really great actor,

but can you handle production?

- I believe in division of labor.
- Ricky says he trusts me all the way.

Okay, but you need
a good director and writers.

A writer's room,
the key to all projects.

The concept is a bit complicated,

but with the right packaging
I could get the green light.

We'll need a trailer.

Just the right look and feel,
but with humor, and...

Add LOIs and a pitch bible,
and I can present it at the meeting.

- Tip-top?
- Tip-top.

FREDERICK LAU
ACTOR - WON PRACTICALLY EVERY AWARD

Let's just continue making "4 Blocks".
"The Rise of Vince".

Why would you want to play
a fucking extra?

Give it a rest, Freddy. I don't tell you
to make "The Wave 2" or "Victoria 3".

- I'm sick of Toni Hamady.
- Just because of Ricky Gervais?

Honestly, if I'm in the teaser,
I want a decent part.

Of course you'll get a decent part.

I don't want you pulling
more of your Kida shit.

- What do you mean?
- You know what I mean.

Freddy, everything I touch
turns to gold, habibi .

- Do you have a Grimme Award?
- Of course. Got a German TV Award?

- Golden Camera?
- No, I don't want one. Lola Award?

- I was nominated.
- I've got two.

I know you have two. Great.
You also have a Comedy Award.

Yes, because I'm funny.

Right.

Take him down, Paul.

FILM SHOOT OF "SOKO NEUKÖLLN"

WITH MARC HOSEMANN
AND ADAM BOUSDOUKOS

Hosemann! Adam!

- Kida, what are you doing here?
- What a nice surprise.

- What's up, bro?
- I'm great.

How long do you want to
keep doing this shit?

I've got Ricky Gervais for you,
"Extras". I got the rights.

150k in cash and you're co-producing.
Just like that.

Forget about those stupid producers.

We can do better than them.
Let's do it ourselves.

Kida, you know why this is
the right thing for me?

I've got a lock on everyone.
Including the director.

When I have an idea, I make her think
it's her idea, and everyone's happy.

Fuck! How am I supposed to spit out
this shitty dialogue?

It's all exposition!
I can just talk to myself.

That was the 11th take.
I'm done!

You said we'd try a new approach.
Let's see it then.

I mean, we're lying to ourselves.
Bullshit Teddy Bischof!

I only got the role
for your diversity quota.

- But I still don't get any lines.
- How about I just shut up?

That way there might at least
be some tension in the room, huh?

That's right.
Neither of us will talk.

That'll restore the balance
between the inspectors.

Or I'll say as much as Marc.

The days when others get to
say more than me are over.

I'm only doing Socialist films now.

- So what do we do?
- Well, okay, let's scrap the dialogue.

6-1, take 12.

- Camera set.
- And, please!

Ding-a-ling! Phone call!
And... pick up!

Thank you! Great.

That was a great idea, Marc,
scrapping the dialogue.

- That was great.
- Told you so.

Let's do a closeup on Marc and Adam.

Can't I offer at least one alternative?

No, it was great, Marius.
It was fine.

Not even once?
I couldn't show my best.

How do I say this...

The most important thing is
that the audience likes you.

We need space for the next take.

We're doing a closeup now.

Let's go.

- Hi.
- Hey, Martin. No, Mich...

Marius, we have the same agency.

Marius, what you just did there...
Goosebumps.

What you did today
was goosebumps on steroids.

You completely upstaged them.

You need a show reel
with English subtitles and you're set.

- I know what I'm doing.
- Sure thing.

- I've been doing it for a long time.
- Absolutely.

But you just talked to Marc and Adam
about an investment.

I don't want to impose,
but I'd be in.

You'd be in?

Do you have 200k, bro?

My mother signed over
a villa in Grunewald to me

I can lend money on.

You have a very nice mother.

Everyone has to take a risk sometime.

We're not puppets.
Are you a puppet?

To never being a puppet again.

Go on, give me your number.

- I'll go get it.
- Go!

The quality of this
is incredibly bad.

- It's real hair.
- Kida ordered such crap.

- It's real hair.
- Stop messing with it! This won't work.

This is the real camera.
You're operating the on-screen camera.

Kida, I watched "Extras",
you don't have to explain.

- Just press the red button.
- Do you want sausage?

- He doesn't eat that.
- It's chicken.

One sausage for the director!

Speaking of the director... Kida?

In the script it says "fake director".
Fake director?

Because of my theatre background?

I've made several successful films.
Like "Sun Alley", and...

LEANDER HAUSSMANN
DIRECTOR, OWES KIDA A FAVOR

Anyway, it's not fake.
That's real box office revenue.

You misunderstood.

You're Leander Haußmann,
a great director.

Marius is the fake director.
Not you.

I know what you are
and who you are, man.

- Stop it, please.
- Okay, I got that.

But we need to face the fact

that we're not working
with a great script.

It's no masterpiece.
So we need to improvise.

So who did you hire?
The master of improvisation.

That's why you're here.
That's why you're here!

Freddy, you're writing
the "Faust" scene at night.

I enter and pour you wine,
as Abdullah the extra.

I spill some and you get very angry.

Then Marius the fake director
gets angry and he yells "cut".

1-7, take first.

No, sorry, kiddo,
that's not how it's done.

You have to say...

"11-7, take 1."
Or the editor will get confused.

Okay. But my Dad's the editor.

Okay. I won't discuss this.
You'll say "11-7, take 1".

- Okay?
- Okay.

Okay. Great kid.

Right.

- Sami?
- 11-7, take 1.

Well done. Thank you.

And, please.

- And, action!
- No, Marius.

Really. "Action"?
We're not toddlers.

"Please." Say "please".

We're aiming
at an international audience.

Fine, you're the fake director.

Go ahead and say "action".
Like an amateur. I used to do it too.

And, please. Go on.

And, please.

It's night.

Goethe is writing.

It's a stream of words.

He's writing a great ballad.

His quill dips heavily
into the inkwell.

The words flow out of him.

Then...

You enter the scene.

I thank thee.

Excellent.

Life is too short for bad wine.

- What is he doing?
- Shit. Cut!

Damn, we really need to...

Working with professionals for once!
I do it only once!

- I do one take. That's all!
- Yes, I agree.

We'll get a new extra.

Extras are a dime a dozen,
for goodness' sake.

He doesn't fit into Weimar Classicism.

And you're wearing a watch too.

Get out! Just get out!

And... thank you.

Kida, I get it.

I get what you're trying to do and all.

But something is missing.
Even if it's just a teaser.

How about we say he's drunk?
He's drunk and stumbles in here.

At least I'd understand it this way.
But this...

- Freddy, that's genius.
- That's more visual.

There's more conflict.
The chatter bores me.

Hold on, you comedy experts,
are you fucking with me?

When Ricky Gervais wanted to make
a film within a film, he was laughed at.

- Yes, Ricky, Leander.
- Ricky! He knows Ricky.

Leander, listen to me.
Now he's the one laughing.

Okay?

Kida?

I'm really happy to do you a favor,

but somehow I was a bit disappointed.

- I was expecting more.
- What were you expecting?

Well, it's just bad.
Your idea isn't working.

I mean, as a producer you need to learn
to give the creative team some freedom.

Or you're sabotaging yourself.

Listen, I have to be honest with you,
I think I'm out.

- No hard feelings.
- Hey, are you kidding me?

We made over 30 films together.
We wrote a book.

We went through thick and thin,
the good and the bad.

- Now you're abandoning me?
- No, but you're ruining my image.

- Know what I mean?
- I see, your image?

- I can't do this.
- Fine. Bravo.

- Frederick?
- Yes?

- We could go for a drink.
- Forget it. We're going home.

- Does anyone else want to...
- Freddy, I'll call you.

- You're talking shit.
- You drag!

- I believe in this.
- Yes, me too.

Right.

Dad, it's not real work.
You just stand around and talk.

Being unemployed is much better.

You don't understand.
It's like with soccer.

A striker might barely move
for 30 matches,

but if he scores
just one goal in the final,

then that's all that matters.

That's how I work on my series.

I make the best series,
and then bam, I score.

- And then what?
- Then your dad is the best.

Because he made the best series.

Just trust me, okay?

- Yes.
- Bam!