Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,224 --> 00:00:01,957
? (EERIE MUSIC PLAYING) ?
2
00:00:02,026 --> 00:00:05,530
(ALL GRUNT)
3
00:00:06,964 --> 00:00:08,466
Huh? What?
4
00:00:10,935 --> 00:00:13,034
(BLARING)
5
00:00:13,103 --> 00:00:18,477
It can't be. (GASPS) The
stone of eternal servitude!
6
00:00:20,544 --> 00:00:22,881
? (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ?
7
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:26,615
(WATER BURBLING)
8
00:00:26,685 --> 00:00:28,553
(BOTH SCREAM)
9
00:00:31,856 --> 00:00:34,690
Yes! A gem fit for a king.
10
00:00:34,759 --> 00:00:38,026
- I want it. (GRUNTS)
- No!
11
00:00:38,095 --> 00:00:40,160
(LAUGHS MENACINGLY)
12
00:00:46,403 --> 00:00:49,903
This is the most powerful
force in the universe.
13
00:00:49,972 --> 00:00:53,711
And it must never fall into
the wrong hands. (GROANS)
14
00:00:54,879 --> 00:00:57,478
? (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ?
15
00:00:57,547 --> 00:01:00,581
Ladies and gentlemen of the
Board of Shadowy Figures.
16
00:01:00,650 --> 00:01:03,352
I present to you the most
powerful force in the universe.
17
00:01:03,421 --> 00:01:04,519
(ALL GASP)
18
00:01:04,588 --> 00:01:06,154
- Give me!
- The inscription warns
19
00:01:06,223 --> 00:01:07,943
that the crown is deadly
in the wrong hands,
20
00:01:07,987 --> 00:01:09,892
and must only be
worn by nobility.
21
00:01:09,961 --> 00:01:11,092
Fucking bullshit.
22
00:01:11,161 --> 00:01:13,095
Luckily, homecoming
is approaching
23
00:01:13,164 --> 00:01:15,158
and we'll crown
our king and queen.
24
00:01:15,227 --> 00:01:18,833
With them as our puppet,
that power is ours.
25
00:01:18,901 --> 00:01:20,769
And you're sure
it's going to work?
26
00:01:20,838 --> 00:01:21,969
Of course.
27
00:01:22,038 --> 00:01:24,909
Scudworth has assured me
that nothing can go wrong.
28
00:01:25,943 --> 00:01:27,677
Say what now? I heard my name.
29
00:01:27,746 --> 00:01:28,809
(INSECT BUZZING)
30
00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:31,914
Very well then. If we want
to take over the world,
31
00:01:31,983 --> 00:01:33,381
we have to break a few eggs.
32
00:01:33,450 --> 00:01:35,650
This is all riding
on you, Scudworth.
33
00:01:35,719 --> 00:01:39,321
- Ah! But I didn't...
- (LAUGHS DIABOLICALLY)
34
00:01:39,390 --> 00:01:42,557
- Let homecoming begin.
- (THUNDER RUMBLING)
35
00:01:42,626 --> 00:01:46,098
? (MARCHING BAND VERSION
OF THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ?
36
00:02:29,339 --> 00:02:30,475
? (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?
37
00:02:31,475 --> 00:02:33,712
? (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ?
38
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:38,579
Damn! This float's
gonna be goat!
39
00:02:38,648 --> 00:02:41,183
Do you think there's enough
corporate diarrhea splatter?
40
00:02:41,252 --> 00:02:42,618
- Never.
- (CHUCKLES)
41
00:02:42,687 --> 00:02:44,719
What a fun homecoming float.
42
00:02:44,788 --> 00:02:47,422
You're capturing all the joys
of a high school football game.
43
00:02:47,491 --> 00:02:49,524
No, this is the Art Club float.
44
00:02:49,593 --> 00:02:51,493
I'm so excited because
people really care
45
00:02:51,562 --> 00:02:54,057
about issues these days,
so we're using homecoming
46
00:02:54,126 --> 00:02:56,098
to make a
thought-provoking statement
47
00:02:56,167 --> 00:02:58,433
about corruption
and corporate greed.
48
00:02:58,502 --> 00:03:01,503
It's gonna be a hoot.
(YELLS) Homecoming!
49
00:03:01,572 --> 00:03:04,606
The only float I care
about is you, Joan,
50
00:03:04,675 --> 00:03:07,508
because you float
my boat. (CHUCKLES)
51
00:03:07,577 --> 00:03:12,647
And by boat, I mean penis. And
by float, I also mean penis.
52
00:03:12,716 --> 00:03:17,819
- You penis my penis.
- Oh, you two! (CHUCKLES)
53
00:03:17,888 --> 00:03:20,259
Terrible! (LAUGHS)
54
00:03:22,193 --> 00:03:23,569
- (CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS)
- Vote for me.
55
00:03:23,593 --> 00:03:26,627
I've got everything you
need to be homecoming queen.
56
00:03:26,696 --> 00:03:29,264
I'm a total ten
with the best bod.
57
00:03:29,333 --> 00:03:32,067
Plus, I'm giving out
pumpkin spice lattes.
58
00:03:32,136 --> 00:03:33,636
- (CROWD CHEERS)
- I'll take one.
59
00:03:33,705 --> 00:03:35,237
That one's not for me. Okay.
60
00:03:35,306 --> 00:03:38,307
Pumpkin mixed with coffee?
What has the world come to?
61
00:03:38,376 --> 00:03:40,308
- I'll have one.
- I'll have one, too.
62
00:03:40,377 --> 00:03:42,677
They're still doing
homecoming court?
63
00:03:42,746 --> 00:03:45,147
That's so last
century. What's next?
64
00:03:45,216 --> 00:03:47,782
The Electric Slide, or
the Macarena, or the...
65
00:03:47,851 --> 00:03:50,785
"Instructional Boogie."
Everyone's favorite song.
66
00:03:50,854 --> 00:03:52,231
? ("THE INSTRUCTIONAL
BOOGIE" PLAYING) ?
67
00:03:52,255 --> 00:03:54,535
- (CROWD CHEERS) - STUDENT: Whoo!
This is everyone's favorite song.
68
00:03:54,559 --> 00:03:55,990
What is happening?
69
00:03:56,059 --> 00:03:58,137
ANNOUNCER: (OVER RADIO) It's time
for everyone's favorite song,
70
00:03:58,161 --> 00:04:00,996
"The Instructional Boogie,"
which means this song has lyrics
71
00:04:01,065 --> 00:04:02,959
that will tell you
exactly what to do.
72
00:04:03,028 --> 00:04:04,633
Well, what are we waiting for?
73
00:04:04,702 --> 00:04:05,800
? Jump up and down ?
74
00:04:05,869 --> 00:04:07,969
? Wave your right hand
And wave your left thumb ?
75
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:09,933
? Now clap your hands
Gently four times ?
76
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:11,076
? And scratch your ear ?
77
00:04:13,077 --> 00:04:15,377
Cleo! Cleo, I'll take one.
78
00:04:15,446 --> 00:04:17,813
Is that everyone? Does
anyone else need a latte?
79
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:19,547
Me. Am I invisible or something?
80
00:04:19,616 --> 00:04:21,494
? Now groove on over To
your high school nemesis ?
81
00:04:21,518 --> 00:04:22,683
? Pretend to be nice ?
82
00:04:22,752 --> 00:04:25,954
Hey, Joan, vote for me
for homecoming queen.
83
00:04:26,023 --> 00:04:28,356
Want some pumpkin spice
in your mouth hole?
84
00:04:28,425 --> 00:04:31,659
No, thanks. My homecoming
is an opportunity
85
00:04:31,728 --> 00:04:34,562
to shine light onto the
broken justice system.
86
00:04:34,631 --> 00:04:36,864
- That's fun too.
- I'm sorry,
87
00:04:36,933 --> 00:04:39,534
- is your mind also flat-chested?
- (CUP THUDS)
88
00:04:39,603 --> 00:04:41,769
CONFUCIUS: Ow! But,
thanks. I'll take it.
89
00:04:41,838 --> 00:04:43,905
The world may have changed,
but there's one thing
90
00:04:43,974 --> 00:04:47,609
that hasn't. Homecoming
queens are still totally cute.
91
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:49,144
(CHUCKLES) That's
why I'm gonna win.
92
00:04:49,213 --> 00:04:51,580
? Make your hips
go Dip, dip, dips ?
93
00:04:51,649 --> 00:04:53,615
I don't need songs to
tell me when to dip.
94
00:04:53,684 --> 00:04:55,817
I'll dip when I
damn well please.
95
00:04:55,886 --> 00:04:58,353
You think you're better than
me, but looks like your boyf
96
00:04:58,422 --> 00:04:59,888
is picking up what
I'm putting down.
97
00:04:59,957 --> 00:05:01,597
? Now, hop like a bunny
Do the bunny hop ?
98
00:05:01,658 --> 00:05:03,638
- ? Let me see your bunny hop ?
- Tell me what to do,
99
00:05:03,662 --> 00:05:04,826
man from the radio!
100
00:05:04,895 --> 00:05:06,294
(GRUNTS)
101
00:05:06,363 --> 00:05:08,100
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
102
00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:09,897
(DRINK SLURPS)
103
00:05:09,966 --> 00:05:12,700
Did you see Cleo campaigning
for homecoming queen?
104
00:05:12,769 --> 00:05:16,038
She's so shameless. I
mean, take it down a notch.
105
00:05:16,107 --> 00:05:17,940
Hmm. Kind of seems
like you and Cleo
106
00:05:18,009 --> 00:05:20,542
are like my dad's
favorite meal. All beef.
107
00:05:20,611 --> 00:05:22,811
All I'm saying is,
she's a horrible person.
108
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,813
We can't put her on
a pedestal. Trust me.
109
00:05:24,882 --> 00:05:27,482
I've lived there before.
Nobody wants that.
110
00:05:27,551 --> 00:05:29,554
Well, her foamy lattes disagree.
111
00:05:30,722 --> 00:05:31,920
Oh, this drink is good.
112
00:05:31,989 --> 00:05:34,689
- I love Cleo.
- It's like pie but you drink it.
113
00:05:34,758 --> 00:05:39,194
You don't get it. She's
just... (GROANS) ...the worst!
114
00:05:39,263 --> 00:05:42,030
She's toxic. Her, um,
115
00:05:42,099 --> 00:05:45,901
lattes are made from,
uh, child labor.
116
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:47,635
Is that true?
117
00:05:47,704 --> 00:05:51,206
- (CLOCK TICKING, DINGING)
- Yes.
118
00:05:51,275 --> 00:05:54,443
Not only that, the kids
work in the spice mines
119
00:05:54,512 --> 00:05:56,323
- under horrible conditions.
- (CHILDREN CRYING)
120
00:05:56,347 --> 00:05:57,512
And the pumpkins
121
00:05:57,581 --> 00:06:01,050
are blood pumpkins,
which is a real thing.
122
00:06:01,119 --> 00:06:03,385
Okay, disgusting. (GROANS)
123
00:06:03,454 --> 00:06:05,253
(WHISPERS INDISTINCTLY)
124
00:06:05,322 --> 00:06:07,455
? (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) ?
125
00:06:07,524 --> 00:06:09,769
? You ain't talking 'bout me
You ain't talking 'bout much ?
126
00:06:09,793 --> 00:06:11,493
? I stay on card But
it ain't no bluff ?
127
00:06:11,562 --> 00:06:13,061
? Bet you won't say it again ?
128
00:06:13,130 --> 00:06:14,850
? Never ever took an
end That became a win ?
129
00:06:14,898 --> 00:06:16,642
? Might be losing friends
But I'm gaining hands ?
130
00:06:16,666 --> 00:06:18,300
? My eyes are stuck
I'm the champion ?
131
00:06:18,369 --> 00:06:20,368
? (SONG FADES) ?
132
00:06:20,437 --> 00:06:22,374
? (OMINOUS MEDIEVAL
MUSIC PLAYING) ?
133
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:46,198
(BELL TOLLING)
134
00:06:59,710 --> 00:07:00,710
? (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?
135
00:07:03,882 --> 00:07:05,880
Assemble the masses.
136
00:07:05,949 --> 00:07:08,083
- ? (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) ?
- (CROWD CHEERING)
137
00:07:08,152 --> 00:07:10,185
It's the moment you've
all been waiting for.
138
00:07:10,254 --> 00:07:12,487
This year's homecoming king
139
00:07:12,556 --> 00:07:17,425
is inexplicably popular,
and so lovably dumb,
140
00:07:17,494 --> 00:07:19,828
and hot in a way that
your parents approve of.
141
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,029
Aw, shucks.
142
00:07:21,098 --> 00:07:24,032
HARRIET TUBMAN: But not a
piece of total human garbage.
143
00:07:24,101 --> 00:07:25,200
Oh, come on.
144
00:07:25,269 --> 00:07:27,769
- (SHRIEKS)
- HARRIET: Our king is JFK!
145
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:31,672
- (EXCLAIMS) Yes!
- (CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS)
146
00:07:31,741 --> 00:07:35,077
Oh, my God. I'm the king
of coming! (CHUCKLES)
147
00:07:35,146 --> 00:07:39,381
At home! Let me grab my
staff, and the family jewels.
148
00:07:39,450 --> 00:07:43,579
Scepter? I hardly know her.
Ah! It's the friggin๏ฟฝ best.
149
00:07:43,648 --> 00:07:47,589
And now, the real moment
we've all been waiting for.
150
00:07:47,658 --> 00:07:53,595
This year's homecoming queen is,
clap your hands for Joan of Arc.
151
00:07:53,664 --> 00:07:55,067
- (CROWD CHEERS)
- What?
152
00:07:57,368 --> 00:07:58,844
- This can't be happening.
- This can't be happening.
153
00:07:58,868 --> 00:08:00,869
My queen, take a
royal selfie with me.
154
00:08:00,938 --> 00:08:02,237
Would you sign my nut?
155
00:08:02,306 --> 00:08:05,608
- My queen! Sign my nut.
- Sign my nut.
156
00:08:05,677 --> 00:08:08,504
We're homecoming royalty!
157
00:08:08,573 --> 00:08:11,646
Two beautiful young
people ruling the world,
158
00:08:11,715 --> 00:08:14,383
parading around in
an open convertible.
159
00:08:14,452 --> 00:08:16,218
What could go wrong?
160
00:08:16,287 --> 00:08:18,886
Everything. Just 'cause I
didn't want Cleo to win,
161
00:08:18,955 --> 00:08:21,689
doesn't mean I should.
No one should be queen.
162
00:08:21,758 --> 00:08:24,259
Just enjoy it.
You're so selfless
163
00:08:24,328 --> 00:08:26,962
and honest, Joan.
You deserve this.
164
00:08:27,031 --> 00:08:30,399
No, you get off the
stage. I want a recount.
165
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:32,200
Congrats, Joan. Turns out,
166
00:08:32,269 --> 00:08:34,435
nobody wants to vote
for a pumpkin murderer.
167
00:08:34,504 --> 00:08:36,475
- Pumpkin murderer.
- (CROWD CLAMORS)
168
00:08:37,708 --> 00:08:38,835
(SOBS)
169
00:08:38,904 --> 00:08:40,108
Cleo...
170
00:08:40,177 --> 00:08:42,244
Well anyway, thanks
for the tip, Joan.
171
00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,512
And now, we will
crown our queen,
172
00:08:44,581 --> 00:08:46,448
as we slowly and deliberately
173
00:08:46,517 --> 00:08:53,517
placed the crown onto her head
in ten, nine, eight, seven...
174
00:08:53,657 --> 00:08:56,425
My clone foster daughter
is going to wear the crown.
175
00:08:56,494 --> 00:08:59,761
I'm so proud. The most
powerful force in the universe
176
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:01,829
will be living under my roof.
177
00:09:01,898 --> 00:09:04,933
And the board will give me
credit for it. That's a real win
178
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,902
- for the Scudman.
- Ugh.
179
00:09:06,971 --> 00:09:10,509
HARRIET: One and a half,
one and one quarter.
180
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:13,508
One and a fifth.
181
00:09:13,577 --> 00:09:15,911
I actually have to
go to the bathroom.
182
00:09:15,980 --> 00:09:17,882
(CROWD TALKING INDISTINCTLY)
183
00:09:19,717 --> 00:09:23,422
- (CLEO SOBBING)
- Cleo?
184
00:09:25,857 --> 00:09:30,192
- Are you crying?
- I'm not crying.
185
00:09:30,261 --> 00:09:32,231
I'm just leaking anger.
186
00:09:34,899 --> 00:09:37,102
It really seems
like you're crying.
187
00:09:37,702 --> 00:09:39,200
Of course, I'm crying.
188
00:09:39,269 --> 00:09:42,003
You're so plain,
and I'm super-hot.
189
00:09:42,072 --> 00:09:44,004
And yet, people voted for you.
190
00:09:44,073 --> 00:09:46,974
Being queen is the one thing
I cared about, but you just
191
00:09:47,043 --> 00:09:49,478
- couldn't let me have that.
- Look, I don't even care
192
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,479
about this stupid, basic,
193
00:09:51,548 --> 00:09:54,216
pointless, merely
symbolic crown.
194
00:09:54,285 --> 00:09:57,486
I mean, if you want
it so bad, take it.
195
00:09:57,555 --> 00:09:59,424
? (FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING) ?
196
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,689
I'm out of here!
197
00:10:01,758 --> 00:10:05,530
- (DOOR OPENING, CLOSING)
- Now, I have the power.
198
00:10:07,365 --> 00:10:09,334
? (FOREBODING MUSIC PLAYING) ?
199
00:10:13,805 --> 00:10:14,806
Hmm?
200
00:10:18,009 --> 00:10:19,775
I'm beautiful.
201
00:10:19,844 --> 00:10:21,913
? (RAP MUSIC PLAYING) ?
202
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,480
(BOTH GASP)
203
00:10:24,181 --> 00:10:26,051
(ALL GASP)
204
00:10:26,651 --> 00:10:27,783
(GASPS)
205
00:10:27,852 --> 00:10:29,051
? (RAP MUSIC CONCLUDES) ?
206
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:31,085
People, we're ready
for the parade.
207
00:10:31,154 --> 00:10:34,956
- Where's my homecoming queen?
- (CHUCKLES) I'm right here.
208
00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,992
You're not the queen, Joan is.
209
00:10:37,061 --> 00:10:38,928
She's redefining
female popularity
210
00:10:38,997 --> 00:10:40,723
with her feminist takes
on justice reform.
211
00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:43,531
And we need to get her
on the float, okay? Stat!
212
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,240
But I am the queen. You
need me on the float, stat.
213
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:53,542
Yeah, I do, you hot bitch.
214
00:10:53,611 --> 00:10:56,045
Get that slammin'
booty on my float.
215
00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,780
That's more like it.
216
00:10:57,849 --> 00:11:01,049
? B-A-D Bad girls
getting money ?
217
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:04,456
? B-A-D Ba-ba-bad
dirty money ?
218
00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,924
Wait, is that
pumpkin spice latte?
219
00:11:08,993 --> 00:11:13,795
Ew. Ugh, gross. Ugh, disgusting.
220
00:11:13,864 --> 00:11:16,435
Oh, the worst thing I've
ever... One more taste.
221
00:11:17,836 --> 00:11:20,368
Abe! Where are you going?
222
00:11:20,437 --> 00:11:23,571
I'm going to see Cleo
on her fly parade float.
223
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,274
She's the hottest
girl in school.
224
00:11:25,343 --> 00:11:29,177
A total ten with the best
bod. Now, talk to the hand.
225
00:11:29,246 --> 00:11:31,846
Wait, why are you
talking like Cleo?
226
00:11:31,915 --> 00:11:35,484
And why are you wearing a
crop top and gaucho pants?
227
00:11:35,553 --> 00:11:39,788
Because it's cute. Bye!
228
00:11:39,856 --> 00:11:41,489
? The beat goes
Bang, bang, bang ?
229
00:11:41,558 --> 00:11:43,792
? Work your body Oh, oh, oh ?
230
00:11:43,861 --> 00:11:46,198
- (CROWD CHEERS)
- ? (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC PLAYING) ?
231
00:11:48,265 --> 00:11:51,800
- This is an utter disaster!
- Yeah, I don't know
232
00:11:51,869 --> 00:11:53,201
what you're gonna
tell the Board.
233
00:11:53,270 --> 00:11:54,670
I'd hate to be in your shoes.
234
00:11:54,739 --> 00:11:56,505
- (STAMMERS)
- (MIMICS)
235
00:11:56,574 --> 00:11:58,806
Quit bickering. We
have to stop Cleo
236
00:11:58,875 --> 00:12:01,154
before she does that thing
where the usurper to the throne
237
00:12:01,178 --> 00:12:04,412
bends everyone to her will
and rules with an iron fist.
238
00:12:04,481 --> 00:12:06,985
He's right. We just
have to stay calm and...
239
00:12:08,018 --> 00:12:10,719
be total tens with the best bod.
240
00:12:10,788 --> 00:12:13,588
Oh! Cleopatra, comin' atcha!
241
00:12:13,657 --> 00:12:16,303
- (CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS) - PRINCIPAL
SCUDWORTH: That float is the bomb dot com.
242
00:12:16,327 --> 00:12:19,160
Can you believe it took over
10,000 orchids to build it?
243
00:12:19,229 --> 00:12:22,297
- It's so hot.
- So hot.
244
00:12:22,366 --> 00:12:24,199
- So hot.
- Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot,
245
00:12:24,268 --> 00:12:26,401
- hot, hot, hot, hot, hot.
- Wait, what?
246
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:27,768
SCUDWORTH: Here they come now,
247
00:12:27,837 --> 00:12:32,073
your homecoming queen and
her king! Cleo and JFK!
248
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:35,510
- (CROWD CHEERS, APPLAUDS)
- What is going on?
249
00:12:35,579 --> 00:12:39,147
That's my boyfriend. Why
is he acting so strange?
250
00:12:39,216 --> 00:12:41,716
(SPEAKING IN ROBOTIC
VOICE) I am not a strange.
251
00:12:41,785 --> 00:12:46,954
- I am a normal.
- I know you're in there, JFK.
252
00:12:47,023 --> 00:12:50,529
Uh, I don't... I don't want
to beat around the bush.
253
00:12:51,328 --> 00:12:53,928
Maybe it's just hard for you.
254
00:12:53,997 --> 00:13:00,997
I wanna beat something hard
around your bush. (EXHALES)
255
00:13:01,038 --> 00:13:03,575
Help me, Joanie.
Help me! (STAMMERS)
256
00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:08,877
(SPEAKING IN ROBOTIC VOICE)
I'm hopelessly devoted to Cleo.
257
00:13:08,946 --> 00:13:13,482
I am no longer a
fan of sexual puns.
258
00:13:13,551 --> 00:13:15,117
He's mine now, Joanie.
259
00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:18,523
I've turned him and
I'm gonna turn you too.
260
00:13:21,826 --> 00:13:22,826
(YELLS)
261
00:13:23,555 --> 00:13:25,430
? (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ?
262
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:30,766
- ? (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) ?
- Oh, no.
263
00:13:30,835 --> 00:13:32,704
That float's gonna hit me.
264
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,112
- In a few minutes.
- (TIRES SQUEALING)
265
00:13:41,479 --> 00:13:43,511
Grab my hand, Joan,
I'll save you.
266
00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:45,847
Wait. You're not
under Cleo's spell
267
00:13:45,916 --> 00:13:47,748
- like everyone else?
- Um, I guess
268
00:13:47,817 --> 00:13:51,419
she doesn't really know I
exist, which was bumming me out.
269
00:13:51,488 --> 00:13:54,123
- But now I see the benefits.
- We've got to fix this.
270
00:13:54,192 --> 00:13:55,557
Come on, Confucius.
271
00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:59,362
- (TIRES SQUEALING)
- (GROANS)
272
00:13:59,431 --> 00:14:02,434
(BONES CRACKING)
273
00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:11,773
All right, Cleo will never
find us in the library,
274
00:14:11,842 --> 00:14:13,241
because she doesn't
know it exists.
275
00:14:13,310 --> 00:14:17,045
I feel your pain, library.
(SNIFFS) What's that smell?
276
00:14:17,114 --> 00:14:19,747
- Um, books?
- Weird.
277
00:14:19,816 --> 00:14:22,651
Are they all on paper like
that? Uh, fire hazard.
278
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:25,020
Focus, Confucius. We
have to figure out
279
00:14:25,089 --> 00:14:26,789
how to take down Cleo.
280
00:14:26,858 --> 00:14:29,058
She won't stop until
she destroys me.
281
00:14:29,127 --> 00:14:31,760
Why does Cleo hate you so
much? What did you do to her?
282
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,661
What? Me? I didn't do anything.
283
00:14:33,730 --> 00:14:36,331
She has been a mean girl
ever since we were kids.
284
00:14:36,400 --> 00:14:38,466
It's actually just
sad and basic.
285
00:14:38,535 --> 00:14:41,603
Yeah, but isn't it kind of
basic of you to call her basic?
286
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:45,474
Hey, I was frozen for 20 years.
I just started using that word.
287
00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:49,378
Let me enjoy it. Now, help me
take that basic bitch down.
288
00:14:49,447 --> 00:14:52,347
You're the clone of Confucius,
think of something wise.
289
00:14:52,416 --> 00:14:54,316
Oh, I'm not wise
like my clone father.
290
00:14:54,385 --> 00:14:57,152
But I will say, maybe it's time
to disrupt the negativity cycle
291
00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:59,621
with Cleo, we'll just
kill her with kindness.
292
00:14:59,690 --> 00:15:02,923
You're right. We
should kill her.
293
00:15:02,992 --> 00:15:07,229
Ah! Joan. I, er, uh, have
been looking all over for you.
294
00:15:07,298 --> 00:15:09,599
Thank God, I found
you totally alone
295
00:15:09,668 --> 00:15:11,099
in an empty library.
296
00:15:11,168 --> 00:15:14,236
- Seriously?
- JFK! Thank God, you're free.
297
00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:19,274
Yeah, we're free to take you
to our hella hot queen, Cleo.
298
00:15:19,343 --> 00:15:23,345
No, I'm taking Joan to
our hello hot queen, Cleo.
299
00:15:23,414 --> 00:15:28,350
JFK! Abe! (SCREAMS) Stop!
I'm trying to help you.
300
00:15:28,419 --> 00:15:29,852
I won't let them take you.
301
00:15:29,921 --> 00:15:32,454
- (TIRES SQUEAL)
- Wow, they're strong.
302
00:15:32,523 --> 00:15:34,689
And then she told me to
pick a color for my toes,
303
00:15:34,758 --> 00:15:37,192
and I was just like,
"Uh, duh, as if."
304
00:15:37,261 --> 00:15:41,163
I'm just doing a clear
coat, you stupid manicurist.
305
00:15:41,232 --> 00:15:42,364
You are the most beautiful
306
00:15:42,433 --> 00:15:44,565
and fascinating
person I've ever met.
307
00:15:44,634 --> 00:15:46,768
- Tell us again.
- Of course.
308
00:15:46,837 --> 00:15:49,904
So anyway, I'd already
picked this slammin' neutral.
309
00:15:49,973 --> 00:15:54,075
We, er, uh, come bearing
a gift, Your Majesty.
310
00:15:54,144 --> 00:15:57,246
Well, if it isn't Joan of Barf.
311
00:15:57,315 --> 00:16:00,252
I bet you hate me too, right?
You're like, that guy sucks.
312
00:16:02,486 --> 00:16:03,984
That gives me an idea.
313
00:16:04,053 --> 00:16:06,889
Maybe you can sneak up on
her and steal the crown.
314
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:08,589
You're basically invisible.
315
00:16:08,658 --> 00:16:11,727
That's uh, extremely
hurtful, but yeah, I'll try.
316
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:15,263
(HUMS) So Joan, any last words?
317
00:16:15,332 --> 00:16:20,402
Uh, yes. Actually, yes.
I have so many words.
318
00:16:20,471 --> 00:16:21,769
Gosh, where to begin?
319
00:16:21,838 --> 00:16:24,773
(INHALES) I guess I'll
list them, alphabetically.
320
00:16:24,842 --> 00:16:26,742
Um, aardvark. That's double A.
321
00:16:26,811 --> 00:16:31,914
All right. Answer. Ask.
322
00:16:31,983 --> 00:16:33,782
- Ass.
- (GASPS)
323
00:16:33,851 --> 00:16:34,949
(THUDS)
324
00:16:35,018 --> 00:16:38,120
Eyes on me, Cleopatra.
You don't have to do this.
325
00:16:38,189 --> 00:16:40,823
No, no, you can be good and
make better choices. Yes.
326
00:16:40,892 --> 00:16:42,724
I always try to
take the high road.
327
00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:46,294
Well, technically you started
the rumor about Cleo's lattes
328
00:16:46,363 --> 00:16:48,831
that made everyone vote
for you instead of her.
329
00:16:48,900 --> 00:16:50,866
- What?
- Now you hear him?
330
00:16:50,935 --> 00:16:52,371
Grab the crown, Confucius.
331
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:55,770
- (GROANS)
- You started that rumor?
332
00:16:55,839 --> 00:16:58,107
- Ow! My ribs.
- Why would people listen to you
333
00:16:58,176 --> 00:17:01,476
with your poetry, and politics,
and caring about stuff?
334
00:17:01,545 --> 00:17:03,711
People never used
to like that junk?
335
00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:06,081
Well, they do now.
Give me the crown.
336
00:17:06,150 --> 00:17:08,450
You didn't want it. You
don't get to have it back.
337
00:17:08,519 --> 00:17:10,485
Especially after you
started that pumpkin rumor
338
00:17:10,554 --> 00:17:12,320
so people would throw
pumpkins in my face.
339
00:17:12,389 --> 00:17:14,923
(HESITATES) No, that's not
how it happened at all.
340
00:17:14,992 --> 00:17:16,724
(VOICE SHAKING)
I'm a good person.
341
00:17:16,793 --> 00:17:19,527
- No, you're not.
- (GROANS) Little tight.
342
00:17:19,596 --> 00:17:22,264
And now, you're gonna have
to suffer as you watch
343
00:17:22,333 --> 00:17:24,432
everyone around you
turn into the thing
344
00:17:24,501 --> 00:17:27,106
you hate the most. Me!
345
00:17:31,275 --> 00:17:36,515
- No. Not Confucius.
- Yes! I feel seen.
346
00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:41,586
It's gonna be
homecoming forever.
347
00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:47,089
? ("THE INSTRUCTIONAL
BOOGIE" PLAYING) ?
348
00:17:47,158 --> 00:17:49,724
? Now hop to the left
and stomp eight times ?
349
00:17:49,793 --> 00:17:52,793
No surprise. Cleo has
some slammin' moves.
350
00:17:52,862 --> 00:17:56,000
She's no poser when it
comes to dancing, Cinnamon.
351
00:17:57,468 --> 00:18:00,202
Looks like the robot has
to rescue the exiled queen
352
00:18:00,271 --> 00:18:05,140
in order to save the
school. If I had a nickel.
353
00:18:05,209 --> 00:18:09,248
? ("THE INSTRUCTIONAL BOOGIE"
PLAYING IN DISTANCE) ?
354
00:18:11,449 --> 00:18:13,615
? Now, file your taxes
It's almost April ?
355
00:18:13,684 --> 00:18:15,178
- ? Keep those receipts ?
- No.
356
00:18:15,247 --> 00:18:17,689
? How many dependents?
How many dependents? ?
357
00:18:19,189 --> 00:18:23,225
? Two dependents, two dependents
Claim those dependents ?
358
00:18:23,294 --> 00:18:28,030
Joan, looks like you're a
little tied up. (CHUCKLES)
359
00:18:28,099 --> 00:18:30,698
- No time for jokes.
- No. Don't help me.
360
00:18:30,767 --> 00:18:33,534
I'm a horrible person.
Confucius was right.
361
00:18:33,603 --> 00:18:36,738
I've been just as bad
to Cleo as she is to me.
362
00:18:36,807 --> 00:18:38,406
I deserved my
punishment of listening
363
00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:40,975
to "The Instructional
Boogie" on an endless loop.
364
00:18:41,044 --> 00:18:45,013
(SIGHS) The irony is, I
actually kind of like this song.
365
00:18:45,082 --> 00:18:46,915
I just didn't want to admit it.
366
00:18:46,984 --> 00:18:49,817
Admitting your truth
is the first step.
367
00:18:49,886 --> 00:18:52,082
It did feel kind of
good to say it out loud.
368
00:18:52,151 --> 00:18:56,358
Now, embrace it.
Embrace your truth.
369
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,826
? Are you chained to a post? ?
370
00:18:57,895 --> 00:19:00,962
I am chained to a post.
371
00:19:01,031 --> 00:19:02,967
? Just twist your wrist
Till you shimmy on out ?
372
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,236
Just twist my wrist
till I shimmy on out.
373
00:19:07,305 --> 00:19:10,305
Whoa! My truth is
setting me free.
374
00:19:10,374 --> 00:19:14,744
Now, maybe it can repair
your relationship with Cleo.
375
00:19:14,813 --> 00:19:15,977
You're right.
376
00:19:16,046 --> 00:19:18,946
I have to bare my soul to her,
no matter how scary that is.
377
00:19:19,015 --> 00:19:23,788
Because with truth on my side,
I can do anything. I can fly!
378
00:19:24,289 --> 00:19:25,415
(GROANS)
379
00:19:25,484 --> 00:19:29,725
You can't fly, but you have
the power to change your story
380
00:19:29,794 --> 00:19:33,261
with Cleo. (SCREAMS)
381
00:19:33,330 --> 00:19:36,231
Don't look at me,
I oiled myself.
382
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:39,635
- Just go to the dance.
- Thanks, Mr. B.
383
00:19:39,704 --> 00:19:41,236
? (SONG CONTINUES) ?
384
00:19:41,305 --> 00:19:43,338
? Now clap your hands
Eleven minus six ?
385
00:19:43,407 --> 00:19:46,775
Joan, I banished you to
the Football Field Realm.
386
00:19:46,844 --> 00:19:50,112
Back to the grass with
your flat ass. Get her!
387
00:19:50,181 --> 00:19:51,613
You'll never get past
388
00:19:51,682 --> 00:19:53,714
my choreographed
attackers, Joanie.
389
00:19:53,783 --> 00:19:57,585
You can't fight someone
who is also getting down
390
00:19:57,654 --> 00:19:59,391
to "The Instructional Boogie."
391
00:20:00,524 --> 00:20:03,358
We can't stop her as she
moving the same way as us.
392
00:20:03,427 --> 00:20:05,426
But you hate "The
Instructional Boogie."
393
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:08,998
Actually, I don't. It's
kind of grown on me.
394
00:20:09,067 --> 00:20:10,832
? Now hop three times
And touch the ground ?
395
00:20:10,901 --> 00:20:12,800
? Now drive the
car Drive the car ?
396
00:20:12,869 --> 00:20:14,535
? Now stop the
car Stop the car ?
397
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:16,583
? 'Cause you're at a store
Now you're grabbing food ?
398
00:20:16,607 --> 00:20:18,607
? Now you go back home
Now go back home ?
399
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,281
? Now you heat Two
tablespoons Canola oil ?
400
00:20:20,305 --> 00:20:22,111
? In a deep skillet
Over medium heat ?
401
00:20:22,180 --> 00:20:23,844
? Add chicken breasts and cook ?
402
00:20:23,913 --> 00:20:25,814
? About 20 minutes Till
the juice runs clear ?
403
00:20:25,883 --> 00:20:26,982
? Remove from the skillet ?
404
00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:29,118
? Now drain and cool
Now drain and cool ?
405
00:20:29,187 --> 00:20:31,454
I think she's making
chicken posole.
406
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,221
? (SONG STOPS) ?
407
00:20:33,290 --> 00:20:34,726
? (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ?
408
00:20:36,527 --> 00:20:39,064
Eat pumpkin spice latte!
409
00:20:42,333 --> 00:20:45,204
I don't hate pumpkin
spice lattes.
410
00:20:45,903 --> 00:20:47,672
(GROANS)
411
00:20:49,907 --> 00:20:52,340
And I don't hate homecoming.
412
00:20:52,409 --> 00:20:56,312
And I don't hate you!
413
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:58,217
Ew. (GASPS)
414
00:21:05,657 --> 00:21:07,984
Stop! That's my crown.
415
00:21:08,053 --> 00:21:11,393
Well, I thought we could split!
416
00:21:11,462 --> 00:21:13,995
- (CROWD GASPS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
417
00:21:14,064 --> 00:21:18,233
- No. I need my butt implants.
- No, you don't, Cleo.
418
00:21:18,302 --> 00:21:20,369
People like you just
the way you are.
419
00:21:20,438 --> 00:21:21,903
- Kill Cleo.
- You suck.
420
00:21:21,972 --> 00:21:24,217
- STUDENT: You gave me bangs.
- She does know I exist, though.
421
00:21:24,241 --> 00:21:26,121
- (CROWD YELLING)
- She made me wear a crop top.
422
00:21:26,177 --> 00:21:29,381
No one should have to
see my bare, long torso.
423
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:34,082
Hang on, hold on. This
isn't all on Cleo.
424
00:21:34,151 --> 00:21:36,217
I did the wrong thing
when I told the lie
425
00:21:36,286 --> 00:21:38,520
about the pumpkin spice lattes.
426
00:21:38,589 --> 00:21:40,923
Those lattes were
sourced ethically.
427
00:21:40,992 --> 00:21:42,190
(ALL GASP)
428
00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:44,829
Um, yeah, they totally were.
429
00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:48,097
What I'm saying is,
Cleo may have been
430
00:21:48,166 --> 00:21:51,066
the ultimate mean girl, but
I was the basic mean girl
431
00:21:51,135 --> 00:21:53,202
who started it and I'm sorry.
432
00:21:53,271 --> 00:21:56,332
Just like, I'm sure Cleo's sorry
for everything that she did.
433
00:21:56,401 --> 00:22:00,475
I am? (GROANS, GULPS)
I'm like, really sorry
434
00:22:00,544 --> 00:22:03,711
that I used the homecoming
crown for evil instead of good,
435
00:22:03,780 --> 00:22:05,459
since it's literally the
most important thing to me.
436
00:22:05,483 --> 00:22:06,483
Mm-hmm.
437
00:22:06,517 --> 00:22:09,184
I hope you'll all consider
voting for me next year.
438
00:22:09,253 --> 00:22:11,286
- We will.
- Everybody makes mistakes.
439
00:22:11,355 --> 00:22:12,966
- Homecoming's weird.
- STUDENT: Huh. We'll see.
440
00:22:12,990 --> 00:22:14,693
- ? (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ?
- (DOOR CLOSING)
441
00:22:15,526 --> 00:22:16,624
Thanks for doing that.
442
00:22:16,693 --> 00:22:19,528
All I did was tell the
truth. And to be honest,
443
00:22:19,597 --> 00:22:22,464
I'm really glad we
aren't enemies anymore.
444
00:22:22,533 --> 00:22:25,104
Oh, my God, Joan.
Obsessed with me much?
445
00:22:27,171 --> 00:22:30,272
Oh, I'm so glad to
have you back, Joanie.
446
00:22:30,341 --> 00:22:33,408
Oh, I missed your
reasonably-sized boobies.
447
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:37,116
And I missed your
unreasonably-sized booty.
448
00:22:39,283 --> 00:22:42,154
- Is my hair freaking you out?
- Don't call attention to it.
449
00:22:44,721 --> 00:22:48,256
(GROANS) What happened?
What year is it?
450
00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:49,992
My God, look at this place.
451
00:22:50,061 --> 00:22:52,093
The Board is not
going to be happy.
452
00:22:52,162 --> 00:22:55,864
You're gonna blame it all on
me? What do I do? What do I do?
453
00:22:55,933 --> 00:22:57,599
(SHUSHES) Listen.
454
00:22:57,668 --> 00:23:00,172
? Just leave the scene Like
it's not your problem ?
455
00:23:01,372 --> 00:23:03,742
? Then end the show With
a real slow pull-back ?
456
00:23:05,343 --> 00:23:07,175
? End the show With a
real slow pull-back ?
457
00:23:07,244 --> 00:23:09,114
? Roll the credits
Roll the credits ?
458
00:23:10,614 --> 00:23:12,984
? See all the people Who
are working in the program ?
459
00:23:14,485 --> 00:23:16,355
? Lots of people
Lots of people ?
460
00:23:18,188 --> 00:23:20,159
? Lots of people
Doing various jobs ?
461
00:23:21,020 --> 00:23:22,858
? Various jobs ?
462
00:23:22,927 --> 00:23:24,659
? Various jobs By
lots of people ?
463
00:23:24,728 --> 00:23:27,229
? Lots of people
Lots of people ?
464
00:23:27,298 --> 00:23:29,298
? Now end the song 'Cause
it's stuck in your head ?
465
00:23:30,034 --> 00:23:31,203
? Stuck in your head ?
466
00:23:32,736 --> 00:23:36,637
? Maybe forever, maybe forever
Maybe forever, maybe forever ?
467
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:39,435
? Ever, ever, ever
Ever, ever, ever ?
468
00:23:39,504 --> 00:23:42,542
? Ever, ever, ever
Ever, ever, ever ?
469
00:23:59,363 --> 00:24:00,560
? (SONG CONCLUDES) ?
470
00:24:00,610 --> 00:24:05,160
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36730
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof