Original subtitles

I need to look my absolute best today.

I hope my favorite customer comes in.

He is definitely gonna come today.

Hi, welcome.

Oh, Charles, good to see you again.

Hey.

Oh, you brought coffee.

Hi, nice to meet you.

You too.

You are going to love it here.

If you say so.

It's great.

All right, I'll bring you to your regular table.

Follow me.

Charles, your regular table.

Sit over here.

Thank you so much.

You're such a doll.

Yes, and let me get you some menus.

No, we won't be needing any menus.

Charles, I've never been here before.

I'd like to look through the menu.

But everything is delicious, don't you worry.

I want to see what I want.

I totally understand, Charles.

I will get you your regular and I'll be right back.

Such a doll.

So what do you think?

There's nothing that's like popping out at me.

Listen, all the food here is delicious and locally sourced.

I think you're going to love it all.

What's wrong?

Seriously?

Let me guess.

I forgot your hamster's birthday.

Like you do every year for the past four years.

But what's the big deal?

I understand it's a big deal.

Yes, I understand.

It is your hamster's birthday and I should have remembered that.

I'm sorry.

I put it in the calendar and everything.

And you forgot.

Well, I'm sorry.

Whatever.

The food is delicious.

If you say so.

Alright, you two.

Charles' favorite drink for you.

You're going to love it.

That does look good.

Have you decided on what we're going to order?

You know, I'm so sorry.

Nothing has popped to me.

I just don't know what I'm in the mood for.

Do you have any recommendations?

Do you have a favorite?

I do, actually.

I love the Caesar salad here.

It does sound good, but I haven't really been in a salad mood lately.

I recommend the chicken is to die for.

That sounds really good.

What do you think?

Goddamn delicious.

I actually think I know exactly what you're going to like.

I'm going to put an order in for that for you.

You're such a doll.

Thank you so much.

Of course, I'll be right back with that, okay?

She's so nice.

She is.

Oh my God, she's amazing.

You know, I won't even be here if she's not the one who's serving me.

You know, I can totally see why.

She definitely deserves a raise.

Absolutely.

By far my favorite.

All right, guys.

I have your entrees ready.

Yours will be savory.

That looks delicious.

You're going to love this, I promise you.

Wow, this is delicious.

You can't remain.

It's the chef's special.

I knew you'd love it.

Do you mind if I taste some of this?

Of course.

I'll just take the white rice off.

I'll take that.

Damn, that is...

Isn't it fucking good?

The spices and everything.

That is so good.

Reminds me of college.

There used to be this little Thai restaurant that was making a word.

This is delicious.

Oh my God.

Would you like to taste mine?

I love yours.

A little peanut sauce on there.

Oh, wow.

Pizza.

Pizza, you know.

You've got to eat it well.

Way down.

Nice, nice.

I'm so glad we did this.

This is a real treat.

You're telling me.

Would you like a bite?

I would love a bite.

Oh, that is my favorite.

Me too.

That is so good.

I'm so happy you love that meal.

It's so good.

Maybe.

And it's so nice that we get to spend this quality time together.

I know, it's amazing.

Such great bonding.

And as I told you, I'm so sorry about your hamster.

Oh, I missed your hamster.

It's his birthday and he's getting old.

You know, hamsters don't live that long.

And Charles forgot again.

You forgot the hamster's birthday, Charles?

I know, I'm sure he's worried about me.

That's terrible.

I'm so sorry.

You know, can I ask you for some advice?

Yeah.

Girl to girl.

Of course.

Here.

Let me just get a little closer to you so he doesn't eavesdrop.

Ladies, I'm right here.

Don't act like I'm...

Oh, no, you can't get it.

You can't get it, Charles.

So I love Charles, you know.

He definitely...

We've been together for like four years now.

It's just...

He always seems to not care about anything.

He kind of just does his own thing.

Yeah, he's like that, you know.

But I can tell you one thing.

I know he loves you.

Every time he's in here and he's talking about you

and all the things he...

He has his ideas.

He just...

I don't know if he knows how to deliver all the time.

I don't know.

Yeah, so...

Yeah, I guess he does talk about me a lot

since you seem to know me well.

He does.

He loves you.

The thing is, he's such...

I think I want to marry him.

I know I love him.

Yeah, I could see that.

I like would love to spend the rest of my life with him.

Oh, that's sweet.

You know, just last week when he was here,

he was actually talking about your hamster's birthday.

Oh, my God.

I know he did.

Yes, he was.

But I don't know if he's ever told me

that he's going to be my hamster.

I know he did.

Yes, he was.

So, he was talking about some plans he has.

So, I'm surprised he hasn't done them.

When you told me he hadn't, I was shocked.

Yeah, you just seem so uninterested.

Yeah.

We used to go on vacation.

There was this magic.

We used to do quite adventurous things together.

Right.

But it's like...

It's like he's just not interested in me.

It's like he's just aloof or something.

He's just so interested in you.

He seriously is so infatuated.

I mean, he took me out to dinner.

I mean, that's pretty nice.

I agree.

And this is a nice restaurant.

So, you like all the sauces in there?

I love it.

All the spices.

Yeah.

The chef really knows what he's doing here.

He is my favorite.

Here, let me try a bite of yours.

Yeah, I'll get you a nice big bite.

Oh, I love that dish.

I love your dish.

It's so good.

It's rare that you meet someone.

Let me get you like a piece of chicken.

Yeah, let me have some chicken.

I love meat in my mouth.

Let me get it nice and...

It's so good.

It's so good.

Oh, my God.

How about the drink?

Isn't that a good one?

It's pretty good.

It's Donald Charles' favorite.

He loves that drink.

He's such a health nut.

I know.

I love it.

Oh, my God.

This one time, we went hiking.

Like, we woke up early.

We went hiking.

And then we went to like the farmer's market.

He's just, yeah, like he's such a health nut.

He's a farmer's market guy.

I could see that.

Yeah.

So good.

Yeah, it is really good, huh?

Those peanut sauces.

My favorite, right?

I remember lots of that peanut sauce, babe.

Yeah.

I could have more of that.

Thank you guys for sharing this meal with me.

Of course.

You're such a sweet girl.

You deserve it.

I love eating with couples.

Especially this one.

He's the best, right?

He's so...

He's a keeper.

He is a keeper.

I love you.

I leave good tips.

Yeah, you better give her a nice big tip.

Thank you.

See, it's because I deserve it.

You deserve it.

Yeah.

Man.

The temperature they've been keeping this restaurant lately has been so hot.

It's warm.

But it's freezing outside, right?

Yeah, it's like windy and cold and icky.

It gets you more comfortable, right?

Yeah, I agree.

Too many layers.

Too many layers.

I think that's the problem with people today.

There's just too many layers.

Yeah, why can't we just be open and free and all over the place?

Right, I agree.

That's how it should be.

It's my job to pull the layers back.

You're so pretty when you eat food.

I would be taking her out every night.

Nice and open up.

So good.

Open up for sure.

Yeah, it was good chicken, huh?

That's your second time having that this week, huh?

You just don't get sick of that chicken.

I'll take this every chance I get.

He really does.

I told you, this is all fresh.

It is.

Our restaurant, they pick out the best stuff.

The vegetables don't taste frozen from a package.

They taste organic.

Oh my gosh, absolutely organic.

We would never sell you guys the packaged stuff.

This place is just way too nice for that.

Yeah, it's delicious.

I'm still hungry.

Do you mind getting me another meal from the back?

Oh yeah, absolutely.

Babe, I left my keys in the car.

Let me run back to the car and grab my keys.

Okay, perfect.

I'll be right back.

Me too.

I got that third plate for you guys.

Oh, great.

Oh boy.

This one is delicious.

It smells good.

Right? It's delicious.

I just love the bell peppers in that one.

You're telling me.

It's so nice.

And the meat on it is so perfectly cooked.

You must be exhausted after a day at work.

Please sit down. Take a load off.

I don't mind if I do.

Yeah, it's a good seat.

You guys are such good company.

You know, what do you think I should do?

If I could ask you if you were in my situation to make me spice things up.

Ladies! I'm right here.

Damn it.

You know what? You are right here, right?

So what are you thinking of doing?

I don't know. Just something different.

Something that will spice things up.

Be something out of the ordinary.

Right.

You know, Charles loves surprises.

Just sort of things that are out of the ordinary.

You know, spice things up by surprising him with like surprise sex.

Like car sex.

Road head.

I'm sure he loves that.

You know, and food and orgasms are so great together.

You know, I've never thought about that.

But I think that might be the thing to do.

Right? I agree.

And I mean, you're so hot.

He has such good...

You've got such good charisma.

You're so intelligent.

He just talks everything about you.

And I'm sure you guys have phenomenal sex.

But it's always important to keep things fun, you know?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

You know, I'm gonna excuse myself and I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Okay, we'll be here.

That green tea is going right through me.

It'll get you.

Yes, Charles.

Oh my god.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, god, that's so nice.

Oh, yeah.

And no panties on for you today.

And let's hang out all your fantasies.

It's so hot.

Fuck.

Oh, yes.

Oh my god, fuck, give that to me.

Yeah.

Yes.

Oh, yes, I love you eating my pussy.

That's so good.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, yes.

Yes.

Let me have that cock back.

Yeah.

Yeah? What do you want me to...

Just like that? That's perfect.

Yeah, how deep in my little pussy.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

You're so sweet.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, fuck yes.

Oh, you smell that pussy so good.

Fuck.

Yes.

Fuck.

Oh, I'm squeezing on you.

That's so nice.

You grab my teeth, don't move.

Yeah, okay, I'm not moving.

Oh, my goodness.

The bathroom's nice in there, huh?

It's so nice.

Oh, that soap, like, it smells like...

Would you hold that for me?

Yeah, I'll hold whatever you need me to hold.

Oh, yeah, I picked that soap out.

It's so nice.

It has, like, a vanilla, like, pastry smell to it.

Right? I love anything that smells like trees.

Yeah, there's a new vendor down the street who makes that stuff.

Homemade.

We'll have to check that out later, Charles.

It's so good.

Oh, you guys have to go.

The owner is just to die for.

He and Charles used to go to this farmer's market.

They had this place that sold soap that smelled delicious.

Oh, yeah.

I love all the natural stuff that can smell good and stay with you all day, you know?

Oh, and it would smell like a sugar cookie, and I'd put it on.

Oh, Charles loved it.

Oh, my gosh, I bet.

Oh, look, you guys finished that whole meal.

That entree was delicious.

It was.

Or that was the appetizer.

Yeah.

I know, I'm obsessed with that peanut sauce.

It's so, so good.

Oh, my God, it's delicious.

How's that meal?

Good, want some?

Yeah, sure.

I love those bell peppers.

So nice.

Your napkin.

I'm making a mess over here.

Nice, good enough.

Yeah.

Who doesn't like sauces just pouring out of their mouth, though?

I know, I love when the sauce is just oozing from the plate.

Oh, it's so good.

We like extra sauce to, like, have the rice soak up, you know?

Babe, what do you think the hamster's up to?

You know, he's probably either on his wheel or he's sleeping.

He's already in his ass off for his birthday.

Oh, I'm sure he is.

Yeah.

I'm thinking about getting him something cool.

When do you get a hamster for a birthday?

You know, he loves carrots.

He likes his little ball that he spins in.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Maybe I'll get him a girlfriend hamster next year.

Oh, you should so get him a girlfriend hamster, don't you think, Charles?

Oh, everybody needs a girlfriend.

Well, with one like this, I agree.

Yeah, I've got a great girlfriend.

You have a great girlfriend?

For sure.

Oh, the best girlfriend.

With great taste in food, might I add.

It's just fucking good.

Absolutely great taste in everything.

I can see that.

Oh, yes.

Yeah, that's nice.

Oh, that zucchini, it's pickled.

So good.

It's so sweet.

Right?

I like it when they mix the sweet and the savory together.

It's like an orgasm in your mouth.

Oh, I love orgasms in my mouth.

So tasty.

Don't we all?

Oh, what a good group.

Oh, you guys just about drank all that green tea.

It is delicious.

I actually made that batch this morning.

Right when I got in here.

Oh, my God, it's so good.

Oh, so yummy.

We get those leaves straight from Japan.

I'm going to finish that.

Yeah, it tastes really earthy.

So fresh.

So natural.

That's how we like it.

Yeah, exactly.

I'm really tired.

Yeah?

It's me, like, I think I'm carb crashing.

Oh, I like making you all sleepy, Charles.

I'm here to fulfill all your needs.

You are.

We probably have to head out soon.

Yeah, you guys think so?

Take a bath.

Do you want me to get you guys a box for your food?

I think Charles needs a box.

He barely touched it.

Yeah.

Yeah, you probably need a box, huh?

Please, grab a box.

I'll go grab one.

Yeah.

I think I need a big box, I think.

Maybe a little one.

I know how much Charles loves little boxes.

Oh, does he?

Maybe, I like the big boxes, too.

I know how much you could fit a lot into.

I've got such an appetite.

He loves stuffing them as much as he can.

I've seen him.

He's come out with a box just dripping and oozing with seasoning coming out.

But he loves it because he doesn't like wasting space.

But he always has such a lot of food, but his eyes are always bigger than his stomach.

Oh, I know.

I know that about him.

Yeah, but see that box.

That is so true.

Okay, let me go grab one.

I'll get your shoes.

Yeah, oh yeah.

Here you go.

Listen, I'm so sorry about the whole hamster's birthday.

I'm a dick.

I really am.

I need to make it up to you.

Yeah, you can make it up to me next time.

It'll be something so fun.

Like what?

Maybe we can go on vacation.

I can give you a little surprise.

How about a couple's massage?

I would love that, Charles.

Fresh out of boxes.

You're just going to have to devour this plate.

Oh, no.

Yeah, I'm sorry, but you know, I can keep it here always.

You can always come back.

Are you one to have some?

Yeah, absolutely.

Because I was looking at you and I saw you looked so hungry.

I hate to feed this poor little thing.

I need to be fed.

You try this one.

Yeah?

Oh, yeah.

It's way better than yours.

Oh, yeah.

Sweetheart, are you still hungry?

I don't think I'm really hungry.

Maybe I'll want dessert later.

We can go to that ice cream place by the house.

Oh, my God, they have the best creamery down the street.

How did you know it was a creamery?

That's my favorite.

Well, it's right by your house.

Yeah, you're right.

Wait a second.

How do you know where we live?

Well, sometimes when he doesn't finish his meals and we're out of boxes,

I drop them off later for him.

Oh, that's so sweet of you.

She's something special.

You better tip her, Charles.

You better give her a nice big tip.

When you hear that, I need a big tip.

I'll do my best.

I did get laid off last week.

Oh, no.

That's not the right kind of lay.

You know, it's just things have been tough lately.

They cut back on the comedy clubs.

People just don't think it's funny anymore.

It's hard for people to go to a comedy.

Everyone's so sensitive, you know?

Yes, that's part of the problem.

It's just everyone's sensitivity.

They can't relax and open up a little bit.

I know.

I think everybody needs to be opened up from the inside.

Not like my beautiful girl here.

She's open to everything.

She is, huh?

You like that meat, huh?

It's delicious.

I love meat in my mouth.

It's delicious.

She looks good with it.

She looks so good.

What is this here?

I haven't even tried this yet.

That is a deep-fried shrimp.

Oh, that looks delicious.

I don't know what it is.

I think it might be egg.

Oh, it is egg.

It is an egg.

Yes, it is.

It looks like the kind you get in ramen.

I need to get my menu down better.

You need to quit slacking off.

She's too busy focused on the customers.

I'm all about customer service.

I say that if a customer doesn't leave happy, then it's a bad day.

Yes.

And you don't want egg on your face.

Oh, never.

That's not something you want on your face.

That's not the right kind of facial.

Speaking of facials, we get a couple massages.

Maybe we get a deep seaweed wrap and go to the hot tub or the sauna.

Maybe she could come, too.

I'll take you guys to the best places.

You just work your fucking ass off here.

I think you need a nice little escape.

Really?

I'd love that.

Charles, you have such a winner here.

That might be a little inappropriate.

We just met the girl, you know?

That's true.

But you've known her forever.

I know that's true.

But with you, we just met her.

I don't want to impose and do something I might regret later.

I just want to keep it strictly business.

Okay.

I mean, if you invite me, you guys don't need to.

I can do my own thing.

You guys can totally shut me out and just do your thing, and I'll just be right here.

I'd hate to make it awkward after a strange spa experience.

Yeah, I guess so.

So, what do you guys have planned for later after the hamster party?

I think we're going to have the hamster party, and then maybe we'll get ice cream.

But I think we're just going to chill with a hot bath, then go to sleep or watch a movie.

Unless Charles has something else planned.

Oh, I'm going to miss you.

I'm going to miss you, too.

I want to cuddle with you.

What?

I want to cuddle with you.

Oh, that's nice.

It's a nice little weekend for it.

What's your favorite flavor for hand soap?

The flavor of hand soap?

Yeah, the scent, I guess.

The best scent.

I guess the best scent.

Yeah, I don't think it's flavor.

Well, I might want to eat it.

Don't eat soap.

You'll get sick.

I know.

I like putting so many things in my mouth, though.

Yeah, I can tell you that.

This peanut sauce is just devoured.

I know.

It's so good.

I like when they make it a little spicy.

This peanut sauce always neutralizes

that spiciness a little bit.

Yeah, like it's spicy, but not like ouch spicy.

Yeah.

Like tingle spicy.

It's tingle spicy, yes.

Just enough to make your tongue feel good.

I wonder if I could buy a whole jar of this.

I've never been able to find a whole jar of really good peanut

sauce.

I have been begging the chef to try to market

some of his concoctions for sale.

Yeah, it would be delicious.

Like a whole thing like that, you know, oh my god,

pouring it on like ribs.

Right.

Oh, that would be so good on pretzels.

Yeah, like just a dipping sauce.

Pretzels, chips, crackers.

Oh, that'd be so good.

Oh my god, it'd be so good on a strawberry.

Oh my god.

Because that's spice on the sweet.

Oh, it'd be so good.

I would love that.

So many things are good on strawberries.

I like strawberries a lot.

I'm sorry if the food got a little bit cold for you guys.

I think rice just tends to get a little cold.

It does, right?

But the meat was delicious.

But some of the rice still has that curry in it.

It's so good.

I know.

Delicious.

Dear Guy Charles is such a funny man.

He's so funny.

He's got such a way with his mouth.

Uh-huh.

I like that he likes trying different things, too,

you know?

He might be a regular.

And I know his regular stuff he likes here.

But he's always trying to throw in some new things, you know?

Yeah, and I think that's why I fell in love with him

in the first place.

Yeah.

He seemed like such an average dude.

I met him right after I graduated high school.

Aw.

But then he wanted to just always take me on an adventure.

And I loved it.

His boyfriends I had before were so, like, plain Jane Vanilla.

Right.

Charles is just such an adventurer.

Well, I told Theo when we were talking, you know,

he's always coming up with ideas for you.

So good.

This food is so delicious. I think I completely devoured it all.

I even started eating Charles' food.

Oh, same. It was so good.

So good.

Mmm, so tasty. I love when he orders.

The flavors are just melting on my tongue.

I love when flavors melt on my tongue.

Oh, I'm exhausted.

I bet.

You know what? Honey, we should get going.

We have a Hampshire's birthday party to plan.

Oh, sure.

That's right, we do.

I'll go get you guys a check real quick and let me get you out of here.

Sure. Here you go.

Yeah, thank you.

You better give her a nice tip. She worked her ass off tonight.

Oh, you're right. She's the best. I'll be sure to.

Let's get my stuff and go.

Yeah.