All language subtitles for columbo.s00e02.pilot.remastered.bdrip.x264-ouija-eng

[ Button Clicks ]

[ Man On Tape ] Les, I'll tape a memo for you
on the Bronson matter tomorrow.

As far as that Delthorne Corporation suit
is concerned, they've got me.

As far as I can see,
they're holding firm.

They want $300,000,
and they want delivery tomorrow night.

[ Tape Rewinds, Stops ]

They've got me.

[ Sighs ]

Oh, Leslie, I thought--

[ No Audible Sounds ]

[ Trunk Lid Slams ]

[ Footsteps Departing ]

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Motor Whirring ]

[ Body Continues Tumbling ]

[ Vehicle Approaching ]

[ Sighs ]

Hello, Pat?
Leslie.

Uh, listen, about our tennis date--

[ Laughs ] Yeah. No, I know.
I've been very forgetful lately.

Uh, Pat, please, call me at the office
tomorrow at 1 2:1 5, sharp.

j-Just say ""tennis,'' and I'll remember
to put it on my office calendar.

All right, Pat.
Good-bye.

[ Sighs ]

[ Man ]
When did you sustain
these injuries, Mr. Crowell?

This September 1 6, Friday,
8:30 in the evening.

You were admitted to a hospital
for emergency care on that night?

Yes, I was.
St.John's Hospital,
Santa Monica.

Your Honor, I'd like to introduce
these hospital records
as Exhibit ""A.''

Mr. Crowell, what was the extent
of your injuries due to your fall?

- My back was hurt real bad--
- Objection, Your Honor.

The plaintiff is not competent to give
expert medical testimony.

Sustained.

[ Man ]
I would like to introduce Exhibit "B, '"

a full doctor's report on
the plaintiff's condition...

showing damage to
the lumbar region of the spine
with concomitant nerve damage,

resulting in partial paralysis
to the left side of his body.

Did you find out anything?
No one's seen or heard from him
since he left Phoenix.

Did you check the hospitals?
I've had Nancy calling
all morning. Not a thing.

What about the police?
Zero. Shall we--

Let me think about it
for a while. Objection--
irrelevant and immaterial.

Sustained.
The answer may go out.

Shall we put out
a missing persons report?

I'll do it myself
after lunch.

How goes it here?
We have a nice middle-class jury.

They dislike the insurance companies second
only to their distaste for working-class people.
Your witness.

[ Clears Throat ]

- Mr. Crowell, you are a punch press
operator, is that correct?
- Yes.

Have you ever been
on welfare before?

- Objection.
- Sustained.

That night that you fell down the stairs
in the defendant's apartment house,

where had you been prior
to your accident?

At a caf� across the street.

In point of fact, Mr. Crowell,
according to the bartender there, you had...

at least three drinks and no dinner
before you left the caf�
and returned to your apartment.

And not being able to see the stairwell
steps properly, you fell.

Objection, Your Honor.
Counsel is testifying
and assuming facts not in evidence.

- The plaintiff alleges the stairs
were improperly lit.
- Although the plaintiff may well have been.

- Objection, Your Honor.
- [ Laughing ]

Sustained.

- [ Gavel Raps ]
- Court will be recessed until 1:00.

I've convinced my client to discuss
a possible settlement.
I'm sure you have.

My office, 1 0 minutes?
Mine, at 1 2:30.

It looks good.
Very good.

I'll get your insurance company
off the hook cheaply this time.

I've been all over
that building of yours,

and you better start maintaining
minimum safety standards,
or, the next time, somebody may get killed.

Thank you.
Hi, Mrs. Williams.
Michael.

Have you heard anything?
There's still no word from
Mr. Williams. I've tried everywhere.

Thank you, Nancy.
Bring in your pad.

[ Leslie ]
We'd better outline a settlement.
He'll be here soon.

[ Sighs ] What time
do you have, Michael?
1 2:1 5.

Uh, Les, they're asking
a hundred and fifty thousand.

My guess is he'll say
his client is ill and needs cash
and offer to settle for half.

We'll tell him that his client is losing
and that he'll take what he can get--
which is nuisance value at $1 0,000.

- That's hitting him pretty hard.
- [ Phone Rings ]

I'll get it.
Yes?

Les? One word: tennis.

- Yes.
- Don't forget.

What? Who is this?
Hello?

Hello?

- What is it?
- You'd better call the police.

That man on the phone
said he's got my husband.

[ Man ]
I want men posted here and here.
But keep them out of sight.

I don't want a lot of worried neighbors
calling the police every five minutes.

Mr. Carlson.

Hoffman, this is Carlson.
We don't want any press leaks on this.

I don't want to have to add up
all the favors you owe me,

and I'm sure you don't
want me to either.

Right.

We'll stay out of the papers
for the time being, Mrs. Williams.
Thank you.

Is that tap-in ready?
No. Not quite yet, sir.

We'll be able to monitor
any phone calls that come in
through this, Mrs. Williams.

Will you be able
to trace the calls?

Maybe. Unfortunately, the kidnapper
is usually smart enough to keep the call short
so we won't have the time.

But with this tape,
we can make voiceprints at the lab.

That sometimes gives us a lead
on making identifications.

There's something I have to ask you.
I want you to be completely honest with me.
Of course.

After I pay the ransom,
what are the chances
of my getting my husband back?

All right, I'll be honest
with you, Mrs. Williams.
There's no way of knowing.

All we can do is hope for the best.

We'll do everything we possibly can.
Oh, of course you will.
I know that.

Look, Mrs. Williams.
Let's try to take an optimistic
point of view on this, hmm?

He's probably just fine.
You'll have him with you
in another 2 4 hours.

That's-- That's all I want.

[ Phone Rings ]
Excuse me.

Carlson.
Yes, I'll hold.

[ Doorbell Chimes ]

[ Sighs ]

Uh, Mrs. Williams?
Yes?

Uh, Lieutenant Columbo,
local police.

I, uh, seem to have dropped my pen
out here somewhere.

just a minute.

[ Sighs ]
Would you like some help?

Oh, no, that won't be necessary.
Thank you very much.
I'll-I'll just take another quick look, uh--

- I can get a flashlight.
- Oh, really, don't bother. It's all right.

I, uh-- I've got some matches.

It's no trouble.
Oh, really, it's really not that important.
It's just a pen.

You see, it was engraved.
That was the only reason.

But I'll buy another one,
and I'll have that one engraved.

You see, the pen itself
was worthless, uh--

- Is that it?
- Where?

- There.
- Oh.

No.
No?

[ Man ] Is everything all right,
Mrs. Williams?
Lt. Columbo's lost his pen.

Oh, listen, don't bother him
about it, uh--

Lt. Columbo?
Oh, yes. How do you do?
How are you?

Uh, Mrs. Williams, I think that, uh,
we can forget about the pen now.

Would you like me to get you
a flashlight?
I offered him--

No, really,
it's not that important.
That last call was from the police.

They found your husband's car.

Was there any sign
of violence?
None whatsoever.

[ Leslie ]
How do you suppose
they stopped it?

The car was found
near a stop sign.

So we assume that when
your husband pulled up
to the intersection,

- the kidnappers found the opportunity--
- Um, Mr. Carlson, there's a gentleman
here to see you.

Oh, Lieutenant. Yes, gentlemen,
this is Lt. Columbo,
our local police liaison.

- How do you do?
- As I was saying,
the stop sign suggests that--

Is there something we can
do for you, Lieutenant?

Uh, well, I dropped by to tell you
that they found the car--

- We already have that information.
- I can see that.

How's the tap-in coming?
Not yet.

- Feel perfectly free to stay
if you like, Lieutenant.
- Oh, thank you very much.

jerry, I'd like you to get a man,
check out the houses in the area
where the car was found.

Somebody may have seen something
or heard something last night.

Start from Sunset
and work your way up.

Hammond, be sure to get
the lab report on the briefcase
and the luggage found in the car.

Mr. Carlson, do you suppose that
the kidnappers followed him
all the way from Phoenix?

Well, I doubt that,
Mrs. Williams.

But they must have known
when he left Phoenix.

Was there a ransom note?
That's what makes us think
they may have had someone there...

checking out
the time of departure.
[ Clears Throat ]

You see, if that's true, they could notify
their confederates there--
Sir?

Hmm?
Uh, the lieutenant would like
to see the ransom note.

Oh-Oh, certainly.

Do you know exactly
what time your husband
would have left Phoenix?

I, um--
Excuse me.
May I see the envelope, please?

Oh, surely.
No, no.

[ Leslie ] I-I-I didn't.
Neither did anyone in my office.

Hammond, which police garage
would they have taken the car to?
Downtown.

I'll arrange for our people
to run a set of fingerprints.

[ Carlson ] You know, strange thing,
Mrs. Williams. When you look at the route
that your husband must have taken,

- the best place would've been here,
- What is that, an aerial map?

Mm-hmm.
in your own neighborhood.
Oh, I see.

The streets are dark,
secluded.
What's it for?

Excuse me.
Well, it came with the instructions
from the kidnappers.

Oh, they sent instructions?
Oh, yeah.

[ Columbo ] What were they?
Well, Mrs. Williams is to fly alone,
north along this highway.

- Once she reaches this point on the map,
she takes a heading out across the desert.
- Exactly.

There'll be a flashing light signal
right about there, and the money
is to be dropped in a bag.

The usual warnings--
no cops.

Right.
When is the drop?

Well, that we don't know.

But like it says,
they'll call us tonight.

- [ Carlson ] Now, listen, Miller. The victim's
car has been picked up by the L.A.P.D.
- [ Muttering ]

They've got it in
the downtown garage.

That's right. I want you to run
a fingerprint check on it, will ya?

You fly a plane?
Yes.

By yourself?
Yes.

No kidding?
No kidding.

[ Carlson ] Yeah, they'll probably
give you a little static, but...
[ Door Closes ]

we're going on the basis that
the victim crossed the state line.

Excuse me.
How's it goin'?

Fine. Fine.
Be through in a few minutes.
Working out of Phoenix as well as here.

We'll have to wait till
he gets off the phone
before we can check it out.

- Fascinating.
- Right. Well, you let me know
if you have any problems.

Right.

Can I help you,
Lieutenant?

Oh. No, just browsing.

For anything in particular?
No.

Because if there's anything you'd like,
I'd be only too happy to help.

Oh. Thank you very much.

Uh, Mrs. Williams--
Yes?

Uh-- Uh, men's room?

Oh, the powder room is
up those steps, down the hall
and first door on your right.

Have you got that?
[ Mumbling ]
Yeah, I got it.

First door on your right.

- [ Hammond ]
It'll be ready in a minute, Mr. Carlson.
- Good.

One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
Perfect.

[ Exhales ]
House is cold.
[ Sniffles ]

[ Sighs ]
I must say, Mrs. Williams, you're bearing up
through this very well indeed.

Oh.

It may seem like it,
but if it weren't for you--

Well, that's very kind of you, Mrs. Williams,
but we just do what we can. That's all.

You're very modest.

Tell me.
Do you think that you'll find
any trace of-- of fingerprints in the car?

Frankly, I doubt it.

Well, it's a very professional,
well-planned operation.

See, they knew what time your husband
was coming from out of town.

They know about
your flying a plane.

No. No, I think the only fingerprints
we'll find will be your husband's...

and yours, of course.

[ Door Opens ]

[ Clears Throat ]

Did you find it, Lieutenant?

Oh, yes, very well.
Thank you.
Mm-hmm.

Listen, I've got to tell ya,
Mrs. Williams, that, uh,
you've got some beautiful place here.

You just make yourself at home.

Say, you know the soap
you have in the bathroom,
the ones shaped like little lemons.

Yes.
Well, I was almost
afraid to use 'em.

But that's what they're there for,
Lieutenant, to be used.

Well, if you don't mind my asking,
when you use one
and you put it back in the plate,

how do you keep it from
sticking to the others?

- It's a problem.
- That's what I figured.

Think of that--
[ Leslie ]
Do you know what I think?

I think since we're all
going to be waiting here,
I'm going to fix us all dinner.

That won't be necessary,
Mrs. Williams. We can have
something sent in.

Oh, please, let me do it.
It will keep me busy.
[ Laughs ]

[ Chuckles ]
All right. Thank you.

- Uh, Mrs. Williams--
- Yes?

- Don't you have any live-in servants?
- Yes.

Oh. Why, it must be
the same problem everywhere.

If you want something done,
you gotta do it yourself.

- How is that, Lieutenant?
- Huh? Oh, I was just saying,

you know, you pay a lot of money for help,
and you end up doin' the cookin'.

Well, you see, my housekeeper's been
on vacation for the last week, so--

Oh. Oh, I see then.
So you've been here alone?

Well, if there's, uh, I mean,
anything I can do to help--

peel potatoes, whatever--
you just feel free.

Oh-- Oh, you'll-you'll be
the first to know.

[ Device Clicking ]

[ Ringing ]

- [ Man On Tape]
Les?
- Mrs. Williams.

- Hello?
- Les?

[ Leslie ] Paul?
They've got me.
They want $300,000.

- When?
- Tomorrow night.
just follow instructions.

Paul? Paul!
[ Repeatedly Presses On Cradle ]

Play it back.
Make sure we got all of it.

- That's the spot.
- [ Sighs ]
From this point on the highway to here...

it's over a hundred and fifty miles
of desert.

There's no way we can cover it.

- Hello?
- Les?

Paul?
They've got me.
They want $300,000.

When?
Tomorrow night.
just follow instructions.

- I not going to take any chances
with my husband's life!
- Well, there's nothing to worry about.

We'll arrange to have you followed
by a helicopter.
Give you plenty of room.

Oh. I know you will.
I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound like that.

[ Carlson ]
It's quite all right, Mrs. Williams.
We understand how you feel.

I think I'll go upstairs.
I'll be in my room if you want me.

That's a good idea.
We'll be covering the place
all night, so you rest easy.

[ Carlson ]
All right.
That's it for tonight, fellas.

Let's wrap it up
and go home, huh?

I'll get this tape to the lab
right away.

Good night, sir.
Good night.

Good night.
Good night. Check with you
in the morning.

All right.
[ Door Opens ]

Well, Lieutenant,
I guess that's it for tonight.
[ Door Closes ]

Lieutenant?

Let's call it a night,
huh?
Oh.

Hey, sorry. I--
Thinking and--

Unique woman.
What's that?

Oh, you see, uh--
She's an exceptional woman.
Oh.

What do you mean?

Well, when the phone rang,
you know, she ran to the phone,
she picked up the receiver, and, uh--

She never asked her-her-her--
her husband if he was all right.

I don't see anything strange about that.
The woman was frightened.
She was under stress--

That's right, yes. She-- She was.
She was under stress. Right.

See, I just can't help thinkin'
though, but--

If I was in the hands of kidnappers
and my wife didn't ask me if I was okay, uh--

I'd think about that.

What's your point,
Lieutenant?
Point? No, no, no. No point.

just that, uh,
she's a unique person.

Good night, Lieutenant.
Yeah, good night. Good night.
[ Mumbles ]

[ Door Opens, Closes ]

Now, if you'll just initial here
and sign here on all three copies.

$300,000. All yours.

We got all
the serial numbers?
Yes, sir.

The bank was very cooperative
in helping us mark the money.

- Well, we certainly
appreciate your help.
- You're welcome.

Apart from your savings,
trust accounts and municipal bonds,

we naturally were forced
to sell all of your stocks
at a considerable loss.

I'm sorry,
but there was no other alternative.

I know that, Mr. Perkins,
but this is no time to worry about money.

[ Mr. Perkins ]
Of course, Mrs. Williams.
I brought a bag, Mrs. Williams.

Oh, thank you. That won't
be necessary. I have a bag.
All right.

This should do it.
If you don't need me any longer--
Gentlemen.

Thanks again.

Mrs. Williams. We've got
a priority clearance on that
air corridor marked on the map.

You'll be all by yourself.
What about you?

Well, we'll be holding a position
about two miles behind you.

You promised to keep
your people clear of the area.

The highway patrol units
all have their instructions.

If they spot a car picking up the money,
they just make an identification
and then let it pass.

Chances are they'll get the money
and clear out before anyone
gets a chance to get near them,

so I wouldn't worry too much,
Mrs. Williams.
I'm concerned about my husband's life.

Oh, of course.
If you gentlemen will
excuse me, I'll change.

[ Sighs ]

[ Engine Idling ]
[ Carlson ]
All set, Mrs. Williams?

I'm ready.
All right. Let's go.

[ Engine Grows Louder ]

You ride in the rear.
Oh. Certainly.
Certainly.

[ Propellers Whirring ]

You wanna talk,
press this button.
Wanna listen, release it.

8-3-5-Romeo, takeoff.

[ Man ]
You're clear, 8-3-5-Romeo.

[ No Audible Dialogue ]

[ Clattering ]
What was that?

What was what?
I think there's something wrong
with the motor.

Take it easy, Lieutenant.
Everything's just fine.

- This is 8-3-5-Romeo.
3-5-Romeo.
- We read you, 8-3-5-Romeo.

Am approaching northbound freeway
and descending to 1 ,000 feet.

Airspeed at one-five-oh.

We're holding a position on your heading,
airspeed one-five-oh.

Right.

How much further is it?

[ Over Radio ]
How much further is it?

How much further is it?
She'll notify us as she approaches
the Palmdale turnoff.

- Is that near?
- Well, do you see that highway
down there to your right?

Yes, I do.
Well, she'll be heading off across the desert
from the next coordinates.

Oh, good.

This is 3-5-Romeo.
Approaching coordinates.
Begin new heading 20 degrees northwest.

- We read you.
- Airspeed at one-five-oh.

This is 33-Foxtrot to all ground units.
We're approaching the Palmdale turnoff.

- Maintain radio silence
until visual contact is established.
- Right.

[ Button Clicks ]
[ Beeping ]

[ Beeping Continues ]

[ Beeping Continues ]

[ Beeping Continues ]

[ Beeping Fades ]

This is 8-3-5-Romeo.
3-5-Romeo.

Have established visual contact
with light at spot access road
by coordinates 28.

- We read you.
- Circling now to make drop.

This is 33-Foxtrot to
special highway patrol units 1 2 and 22.

Move toward access road
near map coordinates 28.

Drop completed.
Over and out.

They got it.
Any sign of them?

No, sir. There's a highway
only a half mile that way
with a lot of heavy traffic.

They must have gotten lost
in that before we got here.

Well, we knew that
going in, didn't we?
Mr. Carlson?

Wanna look at this?

[ Police Radio Chatter ]

[ Carlson ]
All right. Let's go home.

Lieutenant?
Lt. Columbo!

Let's go!

Hey, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant, I'll take that.

[ Doors Closing ]

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Door Closes ]

[ Engine Starts ]

[ Door Closes ]

Are you coming, Lieutenant?

Uh, no. Why don't you go ahead?
Uh-- I'm gonna take
a little walk, clear my head.

You know what I mean.
All right.

[ Engines Start ]

[ Police Radio Chatter ]

[ Unlocks ]

[ Rustling ]

[ Gasps ]

- How is my father?
- [ Exhales ]

What are you doing here?

How is he?
Have you heard from him?

No, not yet.

But you paid the kidnappers
the ransom money.

When will they bring him back?

We don't know.

I, uh--
[ Key Clatters ]

I wasn't expecting you.

After I got your cable,
I caught the first plane out of Zurich.

There was only
a 30-minute layover.

You didn't have to come.
What you mean is,
you didn't want me to.

What I mean is that there's
nothing for you to do here.

Let's drop the polite charade,
Leslie.

I hate you as much as you hate me.
Maybe more.

And you don't have to play
the martyred stepmother to me
anymore. I've outgrown that.

So you see, all the expensive education
in Switzerland isn't a total loss.

Margaret, we're both tired,
and we're both upset.

I'm sure neither of us wants to say
anything they don't mean,

or that we may
be sorry for later.

Why don't we get some sleep?

Tomorrow may be a long day.

Margaret, I'm worried.

I love him too.

I haven't been able to sleep.

I'm terribly nervous.

[ Exhales ]
Margaret, I'm afraid.

I don't want anything
to happen to him.

I know. I know.

Don't worry. Don't worry.

[ Woman On Television ]
What kind of insurance could he have?

[ Man On Television ]
Enough to cover doctors' and hospital bills.

Say, 1 25 a week cash benefit.
Around 50,000 capital sum.

Capital sum? What's that?
In case he gets killed.

- Maybe I shouldn't have said that.
- [ Sighs ]

I suppose you have
to think of everything
in your business.

Well, your husband
would understand.

I'm sure I could sell him on the idea
of some accident protection.

Why don't I talk to him about it?
You could try,
but he's pretty tough going.

Oh, they're all tough
at first.

He has a lot on his mind.
He doesn't want
to listen to anything...

except maybe the baseball game
on the radio.
A little early for the late show?

[ Woman ]
Sometimes we sit here all evening
and never say a word to each other.

[ Man ]
Sounds pretty dull.

[ Woman ]
So I just sit and knit.

[ Man ] Is that what
you're waiting for?
No calls?

Except to say
they haven't heard anything.

- They've got fuzz of some kind
out on the street, watching the house.
- Federal agents.

And there's nothing in the paper
about Daddy or the kidnappers.

No. We've kept it out of the press
and off the radio and the television.

I was waiting for the news.

- Where are you going?
- I have a date in court.

How can you do that?
I mean, how can you function?

Seems like a strange time
to play lady lawyer.

Someday, when you take on
responsibilities, you'll find out that
you don't always have a choice--

that you have to function,
no matter what.

I guess I'm lucky I'm still irresponsible,

because all I can think about is my father.

No more than I.

Why don't you try to occupy yourself
with something, Margaret?

I mean something besides television
and running up overseas telephone bills.

You might find that it'll
pass the time more quickly.

I'll call you the moment
I hear anything.

Leslie! Good luck.

- With your case.
- Thank you, Margaret.

[ Man ] Good afternoon.
I sell accident insurance on husbands.

You got one that's been around too long?
One you'd like to turn into cash?

just give me a smile and
I'll help you collect? [ Chuckles ]
Boy, what a dope you must think I am.

I think you're rotten.

I think you're swell,
so long as I'm not your husband.

- Get out of here.
- You bet I'll get out of here, baby.

I'll get out of here, but quick.

??[ Movie Sound Track: Orchestral ]

Now, when their attorney
cross-examines you about
the accident, cry.

About what?
Everything.

Especially when he asks you
how fast you were going
when you hit their car.

Excuse me.
just sit down there.

Give me the brief,
Michael.

[ Sighs ]
Ah.
Les.

Can we talk--
Have you found my husband?

Can we talk privately?
You can tell me here.

- I think we'd better speak privately.
-Just tell me, did you find my husband?

- Please, Mrs. Williams.
- Will you tell me? Is he all right?

Your husband is dead,
Mrs. Williams.

[ Exhales ]
Oh.

[ Breathing Deeply ]
Are you all right, Mrs. Williams?

Give me a moment.
[ Continues Breathing Deeply ]

[ Carlson ]
Can we get you a doctor?
[ Leslie ] Yes.

I'll arrange to have you
driven home.

Get my bag and things.

[ Sighs ]
[ Columbo ]
I'm very sorry--

[ Leslie ]
I know.

[ Carlson ]
Lieutenant.
Uh,

did she ask where
the body was?
No.

I didn't think so.
Oh, listen, one more thing,
Mr. Carlson.

She didn't, uh, ask how
her husband was killed, did she?
No.

That's what I thought.
All right, Lieutenant,
what's bothering you now?

No, nothing.
No, come on.
Something's bothering you.

No, it's just that up until now,

you know, she was very cool
and she was very composed,

and she suddenly fell apart
in front of other people.

I don't see anything
so strange about that.
No? Convenient maybe?

Conven--
Look, Columbo.

If you think she had something
to do with the kidnapping,
just say so.

Look, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.

You asked me what was botherin' me,
and I told you.

Let's understand this one thing--
If you start harassing this woman,
I'm going to take it upstairs.

Uh, just one minute,
uh, Mr. Carlson.
You see, it's like this.

This is not just a kidnapping.
This is a murder now,

and I kinda figure
that's my department.

I'll see you around.

I gave Margaret an injection,
put her to bed.
She'll be asleep soon.

[ Leslie ]
Oh, good.

Take two of those before bed.
They'll put you out all night long.

Thank you. I can't thank you enough.
Really. All of you. I--

We'll let you get
some rest now.
[ Sighs ]

You're so brave.
Thank you.

Call me if you need me.
I will. I will.

Good night, darling.
See you tomorrow.
Good night. Thank you.

Take care of yourself.
Bye.
[ Door Closes ]

Mrs. Williams, we'll be keeping
a man on the house
for the next few days.

Is there anything else
we can do?
No, thank you.

Good night.
Good night.

[ Sighs ]

?? [ Humming ]

?? [ Continues ]

[ Man ]
Let us pray. O Lord, we implore you
to grant this mercy to your dead servant,

that he who held fast to your will
by his intentions may not receive
punishment in return for his deeds,

so has the true faith united him
with the throng with the faithful on earth,

Your mercy may unite him
with the company of the choirs of angels
in heaven through Christ our Lord.

Eternal rest grant upon him, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon him.

May he rest in peace.

May his soul and the souls
of all the faithful departed,
through the mercy of God,

rest in peace.

My deepest sympathy to you,
Mrs. Williams.
Thank you.

I pray you be comforted.
Thank you.

God's peace be with you.

[ Engine Starts ]

Leslie.
Yes, Margaret.

- This is what you wanted, isn't it?
- [ Gasps ]

Are you all right?

[ Exhales ]
I'm all right.

I'm all right.
It's nothing.

[ Door Closes ]

I'm all right.

[ Doors Closing ]
[ Engine Starts ]

- Are you all right?
- Yes. Thank you.

Who are you?
I'm Lt. Columbo.
I'm from the local police.

It there's ever anything
you want,

you're not alone.
Margaret.!

Remember,
I'm always available.

You'd better come.
They're waiting for you.

[ Woman ]
I see now what you mean about her, Les.
She's spoiled and completely selfish.

No, Pat.
You can't blame her.

Paul and I both indulged her
too much, I guess.
It was our fault really.

If she were mine, stepdaughter or not,
I would kick her out right now
without a dime.

Oh.
Uh, Pat, I think Les
should get some rest.

Yes, I think so too.

[ Chattering ]

[ Leslie ]
Too much money--
So sad.

You've got to make her
grow up, Les.
Are you all right?

Yes, I am.
Thank you very much.

Good-bye, Leslie.
Good-bye.

Oh, I have to tell you
how much I appreciate everything.

You have been
such good friends.

[ Kisses ]
Paul loved you.
He loved you all. So do I.

Good-bye, Leslie.
We love you.

I'll call tomorrow.
Okay.

[ Door Closes ]

Margaret!

Margaret, come down, please.
I know you're up there listening,
so you might as well come down.

You called, Mother dear?
I think we'd better
have a talk.

Of course, Mother dear.

Margaret, I'm willing to overlook
the incident at the cemetery.

I'll write it off to adolescent hysteria.

But I'm in no mood to tolerate
any further outbursts,
sarcasm, anything.

Of course.

You're making it very difficult
for us to live together.

I think you should go back to school
this weekend.

The school doesn't open
for another month.
There's nobody there.

- You have friends in Paris. Visit them.
- Leslie, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying right here.

- Why?
- It's my home too!

Margaret, while we're on
the subject of school,

I think we better talk
about something else.

Like what?
Finances.

Your father-- Your father and I
have kept you very sheltered
from our financial affairs,

but now I think that you are ready
to face certain realities.

I have my own trust account.

You did.
I won't bore you with the details,

but, since you're a minor,
your father and I had
joint control of that account.

- What happened to it?
- In order to pay the ransom,
I was forced to close that account out...

along with everything else
that we had.

You're trying to tell me
that we're broke.
Is that it?

No. It's not as bad as all that.
My law practice and the firm
will provide us with enough...

to keep us off the streets
of Beverly Hills.

But there will have to be
certain readjustments.

You mean my allowance.
That's a very good example.

How much of a ""readjustment''?

I don't know.
I'll have to see
what I can come up with.

I'll let you know.

In the meantime,
while you're here
for the next couple of weeks,

why don't you try
to find yourself a job,
pick up some extra cash?

Might come in handy.

May I help you?

Uh, Lt. Columbo.
I had an appointment.

Oh, of course.
My goodness, you're early.

I know.
How'd you get in?

Oh, the janitor was nice enough
to let me in.

Ms. Williams
should be here in a moment.
She's never late for an appointment.

Oh, really?
Me, I got this terrible habit--
I'm always early.

Whenever I have to be anywhere,
I get there ahead of time.

What, you a legal secretary?
Believe it or not,
I'm an attorney.

I'm called an associate which means
that, since the secretary phoned in sick,
I have to fill in.

- I don't know how you do it.
- Do what?

- Work for a woman.
- Oh, it doesn't bother me.

It just so happens that she's
one of the best trial attorneys
in this state.

Good morning.

Good morning.
Have I kept you waiting?

Uh, no. I was early.
Oh, good.

[ Door Opens ]
Well, won't you come in?

Shall I hold the calls?
Please, Michael.

I'm sorry to bother you
your first day back and all, but--

Oh, that's all right, Lieutenant.

I understand the federal people
haven't come up with anything.

No, nothing.
Not a word, not a clue.

Say,

that's some telephone.

Yes.

What-What are you, uh--
You big on gadgets, are you?

No. I just happen
to find that one
a great help.

You see, say that I want
to get in touch with a client...

to be in court, say,
Monday for example.

I just tape a message,

and this machine calls my client...
and does it for me.

Oh, that's--

That's really somethin'.
Hmm.

You know, today they can do
everything electronically,
I mean, if they wanted to.

I'd bet on that.

You don't mind if I take down
the name of this, do you?

I mean, maybe I could
con the department
into getting one for my office.

You have a pen?
Oh, thank you.

These things,
they really fascinate me.

They got a new thing today,
uh, like if I wanna take my wife
to the ball game,

uh, I just dial this service,
uh, for the tickets.

And it's all done
by the computer.

It's really, uh--
It's unbelievable.

Hmm. What did you want
to see me about, Lieutenant,
exactly?

Uh, you see, Mrs. Williams,

now that, uh, a murder
has been committed,
it's, uh--

It's my job to look at this case
from all possible angles.

I would think it would be your job
to catch the kidnapper.

Oh, well, the federal agents
are on that, and, of course,
we have our men on it too.

- Very reassuring.
- Yes, it is, 'cause they do a fine job.

But, uh, you see, the thing is
with me, uh,

I'm a strange guy.

Really?
Yeah. I worry.

I mean, little things bother me.
I'm a worrier.

I mean,
little insignificant details--

I lose my appetite,
I can't eat.

My wife, she says to me,
"You know, you can
really be a pain. '"

- You know what I mean?
- Yeah, I get the general picture.

Why don't you get on with--

Oh, yeah. Sure, right.

You see, there are certain things here
about your husband's kidnapping
that, uh--

Certain details that, uh--

- Does this lighter work?
- Yes.

- Boy, they really nag me.
- Such as?

- The bag for instance.
- Which bag?

The one you dropped from the plane,
the one with the ransom money in it.

- Oh, didn't I say
which bag it was?
- No, you didn't.

- I'm sorry.
I thought I did.
- What about the bag?

Well, I just thought it's funny
that whoever took the money
out of the bag,

they didn't take
the bag with them.

- Well, what's so funny about that?
- You figure a kidnapper,
he's afraid to get caught, right?

So he's not likely to stop,
open a bag, take the money out...

then run away
and leave the bag behind.

[ Inhales ]
Well, of course, you know
more than I do, Lieutenant,

but don't people under stress
act more out of...

immediate emotion than logic?

That's absolutely true.

In fact, I'll go even further.

That's what
does most criminals in eventually.

Well, then isn't it safe to assume
that, uh,

that they would open the bag
to see if the money was there?

And then, after they saw it,
out of fear or panic,

take the money out of the bag
and run.

Yeah, that's probably right.
That's probably right.

I'm sure that it's right.
I mean, I don't mean to defend
my point about the bag, but--

I was just using that as an example
to show you the kind of person I am.

You understand
how details bother me.

In other words, I'm trying to show you
a whatchamacallit of mine,

a, uh--
An idiosyncrasy.

Right. Idiosyncrasy.

- Gee, that's, uh--
That's a good word.
- Oh, one of the best.

- Anything else?
- Uh, no.

No, I guess that's it.

Listen, I, uh-- I wanna thank you
for taking the time to talk to me.

I really appreciate that.
It certainly helped
straighten things out in my mind.

Mm. Anytime, Lieutenant.
Thank you again.

Oh.
What, something else?

I don't know
what's the matter with me.

- One other thing--
the angle of the bullet.
- What about it?

The bullet entered your husband's body
at a 45-degree angle.

What's the significance in that?

Well, that means that your husband
was standing, and--

See the way you're standing?

- Oh, Leslie, I thought--
-Just the way you're standing.

[ Echoing ]
You see just the way
you're standing.

And the killer was sitting
just the way I am.
[ Echoing ]

And from this position,

the killer shot him.
[ Echoing ]

I'm sorry. I--

[ Exhales ]
Uh, would you, uh--

A little water on...
the table.

Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.

That's all right. That's all right.
Please, go on with what
you were saying.

Listen, I can come back
another time.
Mm-mmm. No.

Really, I'm all right.
I want to hear.

Are you sure you're all right?
Mm-hmm.

There's not much else
to say about it. It's just--

It's just another one of those things
that bothers me.

Uh, I mean,
what was your husband doin'?

Was he just standing there...

while some guy sitting down
shot him?

Well, at this point, uh,
there's no way of really knowing
what happened, is there?

Right.
You're right about that.

Right. That's--

But the other thing, now,
is peculiar.
Something else?

Your husband, he was shot
with a .22-caliber revolver.
So?

Well, most criminals,
they use a .3 2, maybe a .38.

But this one was different?
He sure was.

And I tried to figure it.
Why a .22?

Hmm. That's interesting.

Yes, you see, that is interesting.

What if he wanted
to fire into someone...

and be reasonably certain
that the bullet didn't have
the velocity to go through the body?

- But why?
- Because he didn't want
any trace of the crime...

in the room where he shot him.

Well, you've given
these details of yours
a lot of thought, Lieutenant.

Listen, I know all these things
don't seem like much.

Put 'em all together,
one of top of the other,

and, I'm telling you,
that kidnapping
just doesn't add up.

Let me understand you correctly.
Are you implying that this was
perhaps not an ordinary kidnapping?

That's right.
That's interesting, isn't it?

Now, what if someone set out
to murder your husband,

and he only made it look
like a kidnapping?

And so the ransom money--
all that was a setup.

Yes! That's possible.

Look how that throws us off.

We're looking for kidnappers
that don't exist,

and, in the meantime,
the real killer is so close by
we can't even see him.

And all these little details of yours
fall into place.

The angle of the gun.
Exactly.

Shot by someone he knew
while the murderer
was sitting down.

Caliber of the bullet.
Right.

Killed in a room where
he didn't wanna leave
any traces.

No bullet holes in the wall,
for example.

The empty bag?
That's a puzzler. I can't
figure that one out yet.

Lieutenant, in all honesty,
I must tell you
you have collected...

one of the most absurd hypotheses
I have ever heard.

Nothing that you said proves anything
one way or another.

I know that.
I'm not a lawyer,

and maybe my theories
are not as good as they should be.

But, Mrs. Williams, I've been a cop
for a long, long time,

and after a few years, believe me,
the old nose gets to be pretty good.

What do you want from me?
You know how you
could help?

If you would just talk to me
about your husband yourself,

then maybe I can
come up with somebody--

a business associate,
a friend, who knows--

but somebody who might
have a motive to kill him.

And if you can't?
Federal men are working
on the kidnapping.

There's no harm done.

Lieutenant, I don't hold
with this murder theory of yours--

Mrs. Williams, you're perfectly
within your rights.

Lieutenant, let me finish.
But I will do whatever I can
to help you.

Whoever it was killed my husband,
for whatever reason,
I want him found.

I was hopin' you'd say that.

Michael, Lt. Columbo and I
will be at the airport
if you need us.

[ Phone Handset
Clatters In Cradle ]
Why will we be there?

I try to get a few hours flying
at least two days a week,
and this is one of those days.

Besides, I feel as if
I want to get away from here.
Come with me. We'll talk.

Where, in a plane?

Lieutenant,
are you afraid of flying?

Well, it's, uh-- It's not
one of my favorite pastimes.

[ Engine Accelerates ]

It's a great release for me
being up here, Lieutenant.

All alone, totally free.

I do some of my best thinking
up here.

No kidding?
No kidding.
[ Chuckles ]

[ Sighs ]

Uh, Mrs. Williams?
Hmm?

Would you not do that?
You're nervous.

No offense.
I'm like this in a car.

I'm always nervous
when I'm not driving.

Would you like to take over?
I beg your pardon?

I could teach you
how to handle the plane
in an hour.

Oh, yes, well, really,
that would be wasted on me.

I don't intend to fly again.

You make me feel terrible.
Flying is a wonderful experience.
I've ruined it for you.

No, you haven't.
I've never been crazy
about flying actually.

But that's because
you've never done it.
What we don't know, we fear.

Take the controls.
No, I'd rather not,
thank you.

Try it. I want you
to feel what happens.

Really, that's very, very kind of you,
and I appreciate that.

Why don't you just
describe it to me?

I want to show you how easy it is,
Lieutenant. Are you ready?

Ready for what?
Here we go.

Here. You take the controls.

That's a mountain up ahead.

What do I do?
Turn the wheel to the left.

Keep your feet off the rudder pedal.
Pull back on the wheel, Lieutenant.

No, no. Not too much.
Not too much.

You've overcorrected.
Keep the plane's nose up.

You have to
treat the plane like a woman.
You have to treat her gently.

You have to treat her
very gently.

See? Watch out for that peak.
Pull it up. Pull it up.

Come on, Lieutenant.
Up, up!

Up. Pull it up.

That was brilliant, Lieutenant.

You're gonna make
an ace pilot.

There.

Like it?

I'd appreciate it
if we didn't talk for a while.

Sure.

[ Breathes Deeply ]

Can you talk yet?
Not yet.

[ Breathes Deeply ]

Ready?
Okay.

Ask me anything.
I'll try to help you any way I can.

Did you ever teach your husband
how to fly?

Ah, no.
He wouldn't learn.

-Any other questions?
- Um, well, Mrs. Williams,

did your husband
have any personal enemies?

He didn't have any personal enemies.
Everyone admired my husband.

And he was respected
by his fellow attorneys.

They elected him president
of the local bar association
for five consecutive years.

But, you know, sometimes
behind the applause,

there might be somebody who's envious,
somebody resents all that success.

If there was such a person,
I never met him.
What else?

Yes?

Um, this is not an easy question.

- You understand that?
- Go on.

Did your husband ever have
any relationships with any other women?

My husband was never
unfaithful to me.

How do you know that?
How can you be sure?

Because he had a rigid code of ethics
from which he never deviated.

- Must have been quite a man.
- There was nobody like him.

I'm sorry I can't be
of more help to you.
No, it's all right.

You've been of help.
This is a process of elimination.
You understand that?

- No other questions?
- No. No, I guess not.

[ Inhales ]
Then we'll head back.

You all right?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine.

Did you enjoy yourself?

Well, it was, uh--
It was quite an experience.
Mm-hmm?

I mean, I know what you mean now
about relaxing up there.

Because when I first started out,
I was very tense, but now--
[ Chuckles ]

Anytime.
Anytime, Lieutenant.
Yeah.

Uh, say, uh--

You know, I have this cousin, Ralph.
His name is Ralph.

Anyway, Ralph was the greatest
at everything, you know?

He thought better,
he talked better,
he made out better.

Ralph was the greatest.
But I mean, Ralph--

Boy, that Ralph was somethin',
I'll tell you that.
I'll never forget him.

Ah, is there a point
to this story, Lieutenant?

A point?
A point.

No, I don't think there's a point,
except-- Well, maybe--

Maybe what it was is that when you were
talking about your husband in the plane,

I guess
that reminded me of Ralph.

You see, because Ralph,
he was a bore.

I mean, he was so perfect,
there were times I felt like killin' him.

[ Inhales ]
Yes, well,

I have to change now,
Lieutenant.

??[ Radio: Jazz ]

That's all, fellas.
My mind is someplace else.

[ Ashtray Clatters ]

Hey, Lieutenant.
What do you say, Bert?

Aw, what's the use
of kickin'?

You know what's your trouble?
You don't have much imagination.

What do you mean by that?
You always look at the menu,
and you always order chili.

By God, you know that's true.

What'll it be?
I'll have the chili, Bert.

[ Chuckling ]
See what I mean?

Well, look at it this way.
You'll never be disappointed.

Hey, you got somethin' there.

All right.
Bowl of chili.

For the lieutenant.
Make it special.

Lt. Columbo?

Oh, yes?
I'm Margaret Williams.

You remember me?
Oh, yes, of course.

Yes. Uh, I just didn't expect
to see you here.

Listen, try the chili.
You won't be sorry.

Lieutenant, I came to see you.

Well, what-what about?
My father's murder.

Listen, I'm terribly sorry
about that.

We just haven't been able
to come up with anything on that.

[ Utensils Clatter ]

Well, I may have something.
Are you sure you won't
have something to eat?

Lieutenant,
this is very important.

Oh, I'm sorry.
Go ahead.

I'm listening.

Could we move
to that booth over there?
Oh, certainly.

You see, it's, uh--
It's the crackers that make the dish.

I think my stepmother may have had
something to do with it.

Now, you realize what you're saying?

Yes.
Then tell me.

She never loved him.

She used him to get what she wanted
for herself-- a career.

She used his name,
his influence,

so that she could become
the famous lady lawyer.

And to be a partner
with my father
was instant stature,

instant success.

Well, uh, when did all this start?

Did this start
while your mother was still alive?

Yes, but he didn't have
an affair with her.

How can you be sure of that?
I knew him.

He was faithful to my mother
all through those last years
while she was dying.

Well, when did they
get together romantically?

After my mother died.

She talked him into leaving
the state supreme court,

something he'd worked for
all his life.

But he left it because
he wanted to be with her.

Is that when they became partners?

That was the bait.

He did that for her,
so she married him.

Why would she want to see him dead?

My father came to visit me
in Switzerland
during last vacation.

Then he told me
what a fool he'd been,

how she finally told him
that she thought he was a bore--

a dull, tiresome old man--
and she wanted a new arrangement.

He started to cry.

I'd never seen him cry before.

He was to quit the firm,
turn it over to her.

Then they were to live
their separate lives.

She didn't ask for a divorce,

just that they share the house--
nothing more.

He could never stomach
living a lie like that,
and he told her so.

She just laughed at him.

I put my arm around him.
Didn't know what else to do.

- So, what did he do?
- He threatened to throw her out
and close down the office.

He dared
to stand up to her.

I think that's why he was killed.

Well, now, look, Margaret,

you've told me some reasons
why maybe your stepmother
might have a motive.

- But they're all true.
- I didn't say they weren't.

But you don't have
any proof of anything,
and you don't have any evidence.

All you have is your assumptions.

You understand?
Besides, how could she do it?

What would she do,
involve some other people?

Hmm? That would be very risky,
wouldn't it?

No. You see,
the only possible way would be--

- No. No, that's crazy.
- What is it?

Now, it just occurred to me
that the only possible way...

would be if somehow
there never was a kidnapping.

- She killed him,
then set it up to look that way.
- Now, I never said that.

I mean, that's a crazy idea.
I mean, forget that idea.

Lieutenant, how do you go about
proving something like that?

Oh, goodness.
I don't know how to do that.

I think you got a crazy idea there.
I think you oughta forget about it.

Well, I'll be in touch with you,
Lieutenant.

All right. All right.

You know, there might be something
in the position of the car seat.

Did you say something?

I said there might be something
in the position of the car seat.

What car seat?
Your father's car.

The night they picked up
your father's car,

somebody noticed that the car seat
had been moved forward.

I don't understand.

Your father's a very tall man, isn't he?
He's 6 foot or better.

Well, whoever drove that car last,
they had moved the seat forward.

Like a woman?
Could be.

And, of course,
there's your father's keys.
What about them?

We never found them.
Keys weren't in the car.

And later on when we found
your father's body,

the keys weren't on the body either.

- So?
- Well, did you ever notice how,
just out of habit,

when you get out of a car,
you automatically reach for the keys?

You see, the last person out of that car
instinctively took the keys with them.

And may still have them.

[ Door Opens ]

Police Department?

I'd like to speak
to Lt. Columbo please.

[ Softly ]
Mrs. Williams.

- [ Louder]
Mrs. Williams.
- [ Gasps ]

What is it?
I got the telephone call.
I came right over.

I didn't call you.
I know that.
It was your stepdaughter, Margaret.

- How did you get in here?
- She said she was gonna
leave the door open.

I don't understand. Why?
Why did she call you?

She said she had something
to show me.
Oh.

Oh. Margaret?

Margaret.
You want me?

Yes. Lt. Columbo
is here to see you.

No. I think he's here
to see both of us.
Are you?

I thought
he might like to know
that I found these keys--

my father's key ring--
and in your bedroom.

Margaret, you say
these are your father's keys?

Lieutenant, could you explain
the importance of these keys?
It isn't at all clear to me.

You see, Mrs. Williams,
it goes like this.

The keys were not in the car,
and they were not
on your husband's body,

so we were wondering
what happened to 'em.

My father was never kidnapped.

- He came home that night,
and you killed him.!
- Oh, Margaret.

Margaret, you really don't know
what you're talking about.

Yes, I do!
Oh, Lieutenant, I can't do
anything with her.

She's been on the verge of hysteria--
It's true! You-- You killed him.
It's true!

Lieutenant, you know it's true.
Wait a minute.
just one moment.

Go sit down.
Sit down in that chair.

Now listen to me, Margaret.

What you're saying
might mean something
except for one point.

These are not your father's keys.

Margaret, I've had the house watched,
and you had a locksmith
up here yesterday.

And I've got an invoice
of every duplicate key
you had made.

I'm gonna overlook what you did this time,
but I want you to remember something.
Forging evidence is a crime.

- But she killed him!
- There is no proof of that.

She did it! I know it,
and you know it too!
No, I don't know it.

Yes, you do!
No, I don't know--

Young lady, don't you
ever do that again.

- [ Door Slams ]
- How could she think a thing
like that, Lieutenant?

I always knew
that she resented me,

but I never thought
that she would go this far.

I'm gonna have to tell you
the truth, Mrs. Williams.

Um, I knew how she felt.

You see, the, uh-- The fact is-is
she came to me the other day,

and she told me
that she thought
you were involved.

I told her
it was a far-fetched idea.

Yes, but you did manage
to tell her about the missing keys.

You never mentioned them
to me.

That wasn't among those...
"little details'" that was
bothering you so much.

Well, now, Mrs. Williams,

if by some remote chance
your stepdaughter had been right,

it wouldn't have been very smart for me
to have told you, now would it?

- I understand.
- Good afternoon, Mrs. Williams.

Lt. Columbo?
Yeah?

Thank you for
straightening Margaret out.
I appreciate it.

Oh, it was the only thing
I could do.

I just can't have you
accused of murder
on the wrong evidence.

I know you did it.

I know it.

I think you ought
to see a doctor, Margaret.

Do you?
Yes, I do.

I think
you're a very sick girl.

You listening?
Yes, but it's very difficult
because I'm so sick.

Margaret.

Why don't you go
back to Switzerland?

I'll put you up at a hotel
until school opens.

I'm staying... right here.

You listen to me.
You stay here
only as long as you behave.

One more little drama, and I will
not only cut off your allowance,

I will tie up your estate.

You will be on Social Security
before you see a nickel of it.

Where will all your friends
be then, Margaret,

when you haven't the money
to buy them anymore?

[ Murmurs ]
[ Footsteps Departing ]

[ Phone Rings ]

[ Rings ]

[ Rings ]
Yes?

Oh, uh, Mrs. Williams?
Yes?

This is Lt. Columbo.
I was wondering
if I might drop by to see you.

I got something to show you.
I think you'll really
appreciate it.

It's for you.
Some stunt, huh?

I remembered how you like gadgets.
I thought you'd get a kick out of it.

Somethin' you could show at parties,
somethin' to amuse your friends with,
like that.

Would you like to tell me
how you did it?
It was nothin' to it.

I got one of these
special phones of yours,

I got a tape machine
and I got a timer.

And I rigged it up,
and that was it.

I'm very busy, Lieutenant.

Would you like to tell me
what this has to do
with my husband's murder?

You see, I can't get anything past you.
You really got me pegged.

I'll tell you what it is.
It just shows that your husband...

could have been dead
at the time of the phone call,

that his voice could have come
from carefully edited tapes
from your office.

[ Inhales ]
You know, Columbo,

you're almost likeable
in a shabby sort of way.

Maybe it's the way
you come slouching in here...

with your shopworn
bag of tricks.

Me? Tricks?

The humility,
the seeming absentmindedness,

the, uh, homey anecdotes
about the family,

[ Chuckling ]
the wife, you know?

- Really?
- Yeah, Lt. Columbo...

fumbling and stumbling along,

but it's always the jugular
that he's after.

And I imagine that,
more often than not,
he's successful.

I appreciate that compliment, Mrs. Williams,
and I particularly appreciate it
coming from you.

I must tell you I'm disappointed
in you, Lieutenant.

I'm really very disappointed.
How's that?

You've reduced yourself--
from veiled threats
and insinuations...

to vaudeville.

Now, what did you really
expect to achieve
by this tasteless stunt?

Did you expect me
to throw myself
at your feet confessing?

No. No, I didn't think
you'd do that.
Then what good did it do?

I just add it up
with all the other details,

and, after a while,
you're able to see
what really might have happened.

""Might have.'' ""Could have.''
Those aren't phrases
that hold up in court.

You'd be thrown out
for lack of evidence.

Yeah, but, you know,
justice is strange, counselor.

With some people,
it's not enough
just to be acquitted.

With some people,
it's also necessary
to convince the public...

by producing
the guilty party as well.

I'm familiar with the Perry Mason
school of justice, Lieutenant.

It's not a bad tactic--

threaten to ruin my reputation
by accusation,
create a doubt about me.

But then there's always
the other side.

I could always show
that you were hounding me,
maliciously persecuting me.

You're playing a weak hand,
Lieutenant.

Either arrest me
or get out of here.

I'm gonna have
to tell you the truth.

Department took me off the case.

There's just nothin' concrete,
nothin' to give to a D.A.,

and there's a murder out in Malibu
they want me to look into.
[ Sighs ] Oh.

And you couldn't bear to leave
without saying good-bye, huh?

That's right.
That's right.

After all that,
I almost forgot to say it.

- Good-bye, Mrs. Williams.
- Good-bye, Lieutenant.

[ Margaret ]
Hello.
[ Gunshot ]

- [ Gasps ]
- How do you like it, Leslie?

just giving you the same kind
of welcome home you gave my father.

- [ Murmurs ]
- Stop, Leslie.

The first one was a blank.

But who knows?
The next one may be the real thing.

Margaret, just let me go by.
just let me--

Nothing.
There's nothing in that gun.

There's nothing,
nothing in that gun!

Margaret!

Margaret!

[ Gasps ]

[ Margaret's Voice ]
My father was never kidnapped.

He came home that night,
and you killed him.

I know you did it.
I know it.

[ Echoing ]
I know it. I know it.
I know it. I know it.

[ Echoing Fades ]
I know it. I know it.

Margaret!

Is that what you want?

Out! Out! I want you
out of this house tonight!

Even if you throw me out, Leslie,
I won't stop.

I'll hound you,
humiliate you, embarrass you.

Get packed!

You used all of my trust account
to pay the ransom,

and now you think you can get away
with my share of the estate too?

You're not going
to get away with it.

I want what's mine.

You want to negotiate, don't you?

I just want
what's coming to me.

[ Sighs ]

I'll give you 20,000 a year
for five years.

That will take you
into your trust.

My trust account
was for 25 a year...

plus a bonus of 5,000--
all in cash.

You are some little girl.

All right, if you're
on the plane tomorrow.

Excuse me.

I have a lot of packing to do.

[ Footsteps ]

[ Airport Chatter ]

When you arrive at Zurich,
Mr. Steiner will meet you
at the airport.

He'll take you to the bank
and open an account for you.

Good-bye, Margaret.
Good-bye, Leslie.

[ Women Chattering ]

Lt. Columbo.

Mrs. Williams.
Pursuing or extraditing?

Nah. Nah, just waiting.

You seem depressed.
Did a criminal get away?

Come on. I'll buy you a drink
for consolation.

I hate to see you unhappy.

You know,
that's very nice of you.
I have a heart. I do.

[ Chuckling ]

[ Woman On P.A.]
Flight 26 to Phoenix,
Denver and Fort Worth...

now loading at Gate 1 1.

[ Announcement Continues,
Indistinct ]
[ Sighs ]

Yes?
What will you have,
Lieutenant?

- After you.
- Sherry.

- I'll have a root beer.
- The root beer?

[ Chuckling ] Lieutenant, you always
manage to make me feel decadent.
I do?

Mm-hmm.
Gee, I never knew that.
I'm sorry.

It's nothin' personal.
You understand that?
Oh, I understand.

I'm gonna miss you,
Lieutenant,

you and all your fascinating
little details.

You know, you're somethin'.

You really are somethin'.

- I'm gonna try
and take that as a compliment.
- Oh, it is.

Is it?
Believe me.

[ Woman On P.A.]
All persons meeting
incoming flights...

- are requested not to go beyond
the reception areas--
- To you.

Your cooperation
will be greatly appreciated.

Here's lookin' at ya,
Mrs. Williams.

You know, for a while there,
I thought, ""I'll never get her.''

All those little details,
they just didn't make it.
There was nothing conclusive.

- And then I thought,
""It's gotta be the money.''
- What money?

The ransom money.
When a person
engineers a false kidnapping,

they have to have the money
hidden somewhere.

Now, it cleaned you out
to raise the ransom, so I thought,

"I gotta find a way to force her
to use the ransom money. '"

Thank you very much.
It seemed like a nutty idea to everybody.

I know it did to my wife,
but I believed in it because,

Mrs. Williams, you have no conscience,

and that's your weakness.

Did it ever occur to you
that there are very few people...

that would take money
to forget about a murder?

It didn't, did it?
I knew it wouldn't.

No conscience--
limits your imagination.

You can't conceive of anybody
being any different
than what you are,

and you're greedy.

And that's why, as bright as you are--
and you're bright--

you believed
that Margaret could be bought.

- [ Woman On P.A., Indistinct ]
- Get to the point.

- Come on. Get to the point.
- Well, here's the point, Mrs. Williams.

You see?

You were set up.
I arranged it all with Margaret.

I told Margaret that if she
really wanted to nail you,

she had to force you
to use the ransom money.

Oh.
[ Sighs ]

You're very lucky, Lieutenant.

No.

Congratulations.
You're very smart.

- So are you.
- Thank you.

[ Footsteps Approaching ]

Forgive the charade
about the briefcase,

but we had to make sure
the money was in there
before we arrested you.

I had no alternative.
Would you like
to finish your sherry?

I don't think I want any more.

Would you advise Mrs. Williams
of her rights and drive her downtown.

[ Sighs ]

[ Woman On P.A.]
Dr. Paul Bailey, please report
to the international ticket counter.

Dr. Paul Bailey, please.

That'll be $1 .1 0, please.

Oh, yeah.

I'll be with ya in one minute.
Um--

Uh--

Uh, would you mind
if I signed for this?

Uh, I'm from the police.
Lt. Columbo.

I guess
that'll be all right.
All right, fine.

Now.

Oh. Thank you very much.