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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:03,253
Ryan: No, no, no,
no, no, no, no.
2
00:00:04,546 --> 00:00:07,132
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
3
00:00:08,926 --> 00:00:10,552
Okay, fine.
4
00:00:10,636 --> 00:00:13,013
Ryan, is something the matter?
Yeah.
5
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:15,849
Smokey's dead.
6
00:00:16,266 --> 00:00:18,393
Smokey the bear?
7
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:20,062
Smokey Robinson, Pam.
8
00:00:20,145 --> 00:00:21,647
He died like an hour ago.
9
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:22,930
I guess I'm the first to know.
10
00:00:23,482 --> 00:00:25,692
Wow, that's terrible.
I really liked him.
11
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,778
Oh, you liked him? That's nice.
12
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,198
Did you like when he changed the course of
American music, like, two or three times?
13
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,283
Did you like that
tracks of my tears
14
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,869
is maybe the last true
love song ever written?
15
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,371
I'm glad you like him, Jim.
16
00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:39,456
I am completely
devastated right now.
17
00:00:39,915 --> 00:00:42,417
Huh? Vveh, isecond that emotion.
18
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,836
I know a few of his songs,
but what were his big ones?
19
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:47,256
Oh, god, Nellie.
What wasn't his?
20
00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,216
I mean, tracks of my tears.
21
00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:50,717
Yeah.
22
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,052
God, so many, Nellie.
23
00:00:52,135 --> 00:00:53,554
No, no, no.
24
00:00:53,637 --> 00:00:55,472
Tracks of my tears
and what else?
25
00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:57,891
What are some more?
What's one more?
26
00:00:59,184 --> 00:01:02,312
Okay, I'm not I'm not playing
this game, Pam. Not today.
27
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:04,356
I don't think you love
smokey Robinson.
28
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,568
I think you're just doing all of this to
prove how deep you are about music.
29
00:01:07,651 --> 00:01:11,363
Okay, I'm sorry that I'm not a
fan of Jason mraz or the Beatles.
30
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:12,614
You don't like the Beatles?
31
00:01:12,698 --> 00:01:13,907
That's not the point.
32
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,784
Eleanor rigby? Paperback writer?
33
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,304
You always think you have time to
see these legends before they go.
34
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,621
What was I so busy doing?
35
00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:22,874
It says here the smokey
Robinson dead thing is a hoax.
36
00:01:22,958 --> 00:01:24,668
It's on CNN as of
two minutes ago.
37
00:01:26,545 --> 00:01:28,505
Okay, well. That's a relief.
38
00:01:29,006 --> 00:01:30,048
Wow, look at that.
39
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:32,217
Says he's actually
playing state college.
40
00:01:32,301 --> 00:01:33,510
That's only three hours away.
41
00:01:34,219 --> 00:01:36,847
Oh, my god, Ryan,
that's perfect.
42
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,056
You have to go.
43
00:01:38,140 --> 00:01:39,683
Tickets are 250 bucks.
44
00:01:40,058 --> 00:01:44,187
$250 is nothing to the world's
biggest smokey Robinson fan.
45
00:01:45,355 --> 00:01:46,481
Yeah.
46
00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,568
Who's opening? Paul anka.
47
00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:50,986
Paul anka?
48
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,615
How can they make the smoke
man play with someone like that?
49
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,450
I don't think I can see this.
50
00:01:56,533 --> 00:01:58,094
Okay, you could just
show up late, though.
51
00:01:58,118 --> 00:01:59,512
How much is parking,
like, 30 bucks?
52
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:01,455
That's not what smokey
would have wanted.
53
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:02,956
Does want.
54
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,459
Tears of a clown. Don't
call me a clown, Pam.
55
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:06,877
You're better than that.
56
00:02:34,196 --> 00:02:35,322
Looking good, rc.
57
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:36,823
I hate ties.
58
00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:38,742
I feel like I'm being strangled,
59
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:43,330
like I'm at some erotic
asphyxiation sex club over on i-84.
60
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,248
The red room, say,
or Dominick's.
61
00:02:45,374 --> 00:02:48,168
Robert, the senator was
going to wear dark brown tonight.
62
00:02:50,337 --> 00:02:51,588
I'm sure it'll be fine.
63
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:55,842
My husband is sponsoring a
fundraiser tonight for local dog shelters.
64
00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:59,054
Robert California bought
two tables for everyone here.
65
00:02:59,137 --> 00:03:00,722
These people were
lucky to get seats
66
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:04,643
because it is going to be a who's
who of the northern 22nd district.
67
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,122
I don't want to alarm people,
68
00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,982
but there is a distinct chance
that we're all about to be killed.
69
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,710
Well, as long as you
don't want to alarm people.
70
00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:15,320
What's going on? There's
a disgruntled ex-emponee
71
00:03:15,404 --> 00:03:17,155
sitting in his car
in the parking lot.
72
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,782
Oh, that's Andy.
He's just hanging out.
73
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:21,034
That's how workplace
tragedies always begin.
74
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:23,870
A middle-aged white
male "hanging out."
75
00:03:23,954 --> 00:03:24,996
Call the cops.
76
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,849
Dwight, I don't think he's
going to hurt anybody.
77
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:28,935
How do you know? I mean,
why do you think he's there?
78
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:30,603
I don't even know
what kind of weapon he has.
79
00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:32,295
Could be a knife,
could be a gun.
80
00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,965
Could be a series of guns,
all lined up to shoot parallel.
81
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:36,508
I'm going up to the roof.
82
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:39,136
I'm going to bring my
gym bag just in case.
83
00:03:40,137 --> 00:03:41,263
I knew this would happen.
84
00:03:41,805 --> 00:03:45,308
Everybody told me if I moved
to america, I'd be murdered.
85
00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,567
Hey. Hey.
86
00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:56,820
Just wanted to say hi and hear
you say everything's normal.
87
00:03:56,903 --> 00:03:59,698
Maybe videotape you saying that
so that everyone upstairs can see?
88
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,492
We think you might kill Robert.
89
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,618
What?
90
00:04:03,702 --> 00:04:07,748
Because he fired you, which means
apparently you're living in your car now.
91
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,416
Guys, everything is fine.
92
00:04:09,499 --> 00:04:11,899
I'm just here to pick up Erin.
We're going to the fundraiser.
93
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,128
Great. That sounds good.
94
00:04:13,211 --> 00:04:14,254
Wait, what?
95
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:16,256
You're going to the
fundraiser tonight?
96
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:17,424
That's going to be weird.
97
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,967
Why would that be weird?
98
00:04:19,050 --> 00:04:20,343
It's going to be super weird.
99
00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,262
He just fired you last week.
100
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,306
Andy's just coming as my date.
101
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,767
Hey, I hear you.
I hope you're right.
102
00:04:26,850 --> 00:04:30,854
It just seems like it's going
to be really, really weird.
103
00:04:31,354 --> 00:04:33,482
Come in.
104
00:04:35,358 --> 00:04:37,068
You really redid
Andy's office, huh?
105
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,779
Yes, cut out the clutter.
106
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,906
Very simple, very minimal.
107
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,867
I need you to sign these.
We got a shipment going out.
108
00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,328
How are things in the warehouse?
109
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,079
You could go downstairs
and ask them.
110
00:04:48,538 --> 00:04:50,874
The warehouse isn't downstairs.
111
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,794
Is it?
112
00:04:54,336 --> 00:04:55,378
Is it?
113
00:04:55,796 --> 00:04:57,380
Who knew, right?
114
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:03,470
Tonight could be the
night that Darryl and I
115
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:07,724
go from casual work
friends to actual good friends.
116
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:13,396
The only thing standing in our way is
the contempt he seems to feel for me.
117
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:18,294
Robert, the senator and
I wanted to stop by.
118
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:19,778
Heho.robefl.
Robert, how are you?
119
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,279
And say hello. Andy: Hello.
120
00:05:21,363 --> 00:05:24,282
Did anyone order a blast from
the past with a side order of sexy?
121
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:27,702
Hi, Andy.
Oh, man, this is weird.
122
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:28,995
Andrew.
123
00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:31,706
Want to shake my hand, huh?
124
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:35,043
Because I want to
shake your body.
125
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:39,089
I had you, I had you.
126
00:05:39,172 --> 00:05:40,715
Where... where do I look?
127
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:43,635
It's been so long since I
did one of these things.
128
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,095
Okay, all right.
129
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:47,722
What's the question?
How am I doing? Umm...
130
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,766
Great.
131
00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,187
So, how's the talent?
132
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,940
Grey suit over there
is sending a signal.
133
00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:59,109
Downstairs is receiving.
134
00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:02,821
Is that Gabe?
135
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,489
Ladies.
136
00:06:05,949 --> 00:06:07,868
How come you look so
decent all of a sudden?
137
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:09,411
Yeah, normally you
look so stricken.
138
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:11,705
Well, I'm embarrassed.
139
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,665
I had to give up my hair gel
140
00:06:13,748 --> 00:06:16,001
because it was giving me
this angry rash on my scalp.
141
00:06:16,334 --> 00:06:18,587
And I just gave up
on this low-protein diet
142
00:06:18,670 --> 00:06:20,964
that I was doing
for eight years, so...
143
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:25,218
Ladies seem to like it, plus I'm getting,
like, half as many bladder infections.
144
00:06:25,635 --> 00:06:26,970
Yeah. Wow.
145
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,264
Wow. You ladies
look very pretty as well.
146
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,058
Thanks.
Why is it that things are
147
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,311
their most beautiful
in the Autumn of their lives?
148
00:06:37,188 --> 00:06:38,356
You had to say that.
149
00:06:38,940 --> 00:06:40,525
Sorry. Sorry. Thanks.
150
00:06:40,609 --> 00:06:41,651
Phyllis: Yeah.
151
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:45,906
Creed, I just bid $20
on sixjujitsu lessons.
152
00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:48,074
No one's raping this guy.
153
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,743
Well, I don't want to get raped.
154
00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:52,996
No, it was my idea to
not be raped. Oh, well.
155
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:56,082
Wait, you think that
jujitsu classes cost $22?
156
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,476
If you're going to
play guess the price,
157
00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:59,300
you might as well try
and be halfway accurate.
158
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:00,795
$180.
159
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:02,130
Whoa.
160
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:03,608
Dwight, I don't think
you understand.
161
00:07:03,632 --> 00:07:05,759
You guess the price,
you win the prize.
162
00:07:05,842 --> 00:07:08,762
Have you never been
to a quaker fair before?
163
00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,181
Dwight: God.
164
00:07:11,932 --> 00:07:15,393
So, Dwight doesn't
understand silent aucfions.
165
00:07:17,020 --> 00:07:20,148
I guess he's the stupid
guy in the office. Huh?
166
00:07:21,358 --> 00:07:24,110
Because up until now
we didn't have one.
167
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:25,695
What haven't I been doing?
168
00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:28,633
Gosh, just today I was working
on this rock opera that I'm writing,
169
00:07:28,657 --> 00:07:31,201
although it feels more like
I'm receiving it than writing it.
170
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,620
Wow, that's exciting.
171
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,807
But until you firm up the idea, you
might want to keep it between us.
172
00:07:36,831 --> 00:07:39,417
The hero lives in
this dystopian future
173
00:07:39,501 --> 00:07:43,588
and he flies around in a spaceship
that's shaped like a treble clef.
174
00:07:44,089 --> 00:07:46,424
And he has to sing his
heart out to destroy all evil.
175
00:07:47,050 --> 00:07:48,319
Sounds like you're
doing all right.
176
00:07:48,343 --> 00:07:50,595
A little better than
all right, actually.
177
00:07:51,596 --> 00:07:52,806
Really good.
178
00:07:53,056 --> 00:07:54,742
Have you thought about
getting into photography?
179
00:07:54,766 --> 00:07:56,851
Are you kidding me?
'Cause I'm way into it.
180
00:07:56,935 --> 00:07:58,645
What are you taking pictures of?
181
00:07:58,728 --> 00:07:59,771
Children? Yes.
182
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:00,981
Homeless people? Yes.
183
00:08:01,064 --> 00:08:02,649
'Cause in a way,
they're more real...
184
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,484
Than the rest of us!
The rest of us!
185
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,028
This guy's having a breakdown.
186
00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:10,573
You know, Oscar, I really had no idea
that you were so passionate about animals.
187
00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:12,367
My dog, Gerald,
isrnylwe. Really?
188
00:08:12,450 --> 00:08:14,202
Well, if you want to
get involved, call me.
189
00:08:14,911 --> 00:08:16,204
This is my cell.
190
00:08:16,913 --> 00:08:20,291
I'm more likely to
pick up at night, say,
191
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,253
after 9:00.
192
00:08:24,879 --> 00:08:26,214
Excuse me.
193
00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:28,008
This confirms three things.
194
00:08:28,091 --> 00:08:32,137
I'm right about the senator,
I still got it, and poor Angela.
195
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,889
I wonder where they
got the flowers.
196
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,975
That piece is so predictable.
197
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,519
Daffodils in spring,
I wonder what's next,
198
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:40,603
mistletoe at Christmas?
199
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:42,605
Yeah.
200
00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:44,983
Oh! It says, "you're
welcome to take this home."
201
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,572
Sweetie, you don't want that.
Even in your house, it's a little much.
202
00:08:52,115 --> 00:08:53,175
Have you ever been to our house?
203
00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:55,285
Not exactly,
but I know the flats.
204
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:59,330
I'm going to say what
everyone is afraid to say.
205
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,499
Phyllis is a bully.
206
00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:04,627
A big, beautiful bully.
207
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,338
And she is not
getting that centerpiece.
208
00:09:08,423 --> 00:09:10,508
Step in right away and start...
209
00:09:10,592 --> 00:09:12,177
Bobby, bobbo.
210
00:09:12,677 --> 00:09:13,917
You're a rock opera guy, right?
211
00:09:13,970 --> 00:09:15,513
You like rock operas. Well...
212
00:09:15,597 --> 00:09:17,116
You've got to check out
this thing I'm working on.
213
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:18,141
It's really cool.
214
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:19,851
There's this character,
Thomas Oregon,
215
00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:22,896
and he wants to destroy
all the guitars in the world
216
00:09:22,979 --> 00:09:28,151
because he realizes that music
is the one thing he can't control.
217
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,946
So, Thomas Oregon
is an evil figure.
218
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:33,239
Evil.
219
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:36,117
Although he's
humanized at the end
220
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:39,537
because he weeps uncontrollably
and pees in his pants.
221
00:09:40,163 --> 00:09:42,123
And the hero,
who is that based on?
222
00:09:42,499 --> 00:09:44,042
Me, I guess.
223
00:09:45,126 --> 00:09:48,254
We're flying so
high we 're cracking the sky
224
00:09:48,546 --> 00:09:52,592
going to fly out of this
dome my girlfriend and I
225
00:09:55,345 --> 00:09:57,680
Hey, jabroni, show some class.
226
00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,933
She's right, Andy.
You're being a jabroni.
227
00:10:00,016 --> 00:10:01,434
You're being a Thomas Oregon.
228
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,603
Andrew,
229
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,774
I think this may have
been a bad idea.
230
00:10:08,483 --> 00:10:10,944
Why don't you let me
pay for you and Erin
231
00:10:11,027 --> 00:10:13,947
to go out to a great,
romantic dinner tonight?
232
00:10:14,030 --> 00:10:16,699
Don't need you to pay for me.
I'm doing just fine, thank you.
233
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,577
Why don't you quit
harshing our mellow?
234
00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:22,247
Andy, you should leave.
235
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,373
Now.
236
00:10:25,333 --> 00:10:26,626
Excuse me,
237
00:10:26,709 --> 00:10:30,213
I would like to purchase two
seats at another table, please.
238
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:32,298
I'm sorry. The tables are
sold as complete units.
239
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,634
Then I'll take a table.
240
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:35,718
Okay.
241
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:37,387
And a high five.
242
00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:40,348
Let's do that again.
243
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:45,395
Well, I just give a
dollar to every charity.
244
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,331
That way, you get all
the mail, all the calendars.
245
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:49,732
You can't believe how
much you get just for a buck.
246
00:10:50,400 --> 00:10:52,694
It's also nice to know
you're making a difference.
247
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:54,779
Jim and I give to the red cross.
248
00:10:55,071 --> 00:10:56,865
Are you sure you
ought to be giving?
249
00:10:56,948 --> 00:10:59,159
I mean, with your
financial situation...
250
00:10:59,576 --> 00:11:00,743
Excuse me?
251
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:06,332
You ladies are as tangy as the
salad dressing over there. I love it.
252
00:11:07,125 --> 00:11:08,877
Oh, yes indeed.
253
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:11,171
When.
254
00:11:12,589 --> 00:11:14,716
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
255
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,593
Forgot a few salads.
256
00:11:21,431 --> 00:11:22,515
When.
257
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:28,855
When.
258
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:33,776
I stumbled into a
very dramatic situation.
259
00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:36,446
Here, let me move this
so you can see him.
260
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:38,531
Oscar: Pam.
261
00:11:39,949 --> 00:11:41,409
Pam. Yeah.
262
00:11:41,784 --> 00:11:43,620
Angela's husband just hit on me.
263
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,456
Oh, my god. I know.
264
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,665
Wait, what? Come on.
265
00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,043
We were talking about animals.
266
00:11:51,169 --> 00:11:52,837
He gives me his
cell phone number.
267
00:11:52,921 --> 00:11:54,273
He was just dying
for me to have it.
268
00:11:54,297 --> 00:11:57,634
Okay, Oscar, I'm not saying
you're not dreamy, because you are,
269
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,511
but isn't it possible that he
was just schmoozing a voter?
270
00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:03,431
Well, if you would have
seen the look he gave me.
271
00:12:03,514 --> 00:12:05,141
He wanted to rock
more than just my vote.
272
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,309
Okay.
273
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,602
What was this look?
274
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:11,439
Whoa!
275
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,233
What happened?
Did he do it? Are you...
276
00:12:13,316 --> 00:12:15,151
Twice. For real?
277
00:12:15,235 --> 00:12:17,570
Okay, guys. Not every glance
means something, all right?
278
00:12:17,654 --> 00:12:18,655
Life isn't downton Abbey.
279
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,031
Life is downton Abbey.
280
00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,217
Jim: Here's what
I'm going to do.
281
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,676
I'm going to go over there,
I'm going to talk to him.
282
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:25,100
And I guarantee you he gives
out his cell phone to everybody.
283
00:12:34,170 --> 00:12:38,132
How much do you guys charge
for one full-year gym membership?
284
00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,094
Thank you.
285
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,598
It's $475.
286
00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,269
Like candy from a baby.
287
00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:57,110
That's the third time you've
asked me about my strategy.
288
00:12:57,193 --> 00:12:59,904
It's called "guess the price,"
strategy's in the name.
289
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:02,782
Simplest game since
"touch the rock."
290
00:13:03,825 --> 00:13:05,243
Three-time champion.
291
00:13:05,326 --> 00:13:07,787
Almost four, but
I touched the wood.
292
00:13:10,873 --> 00:13:11,916
Hey.
293
00:13:13,835 --> 00:13:15,628
David Wallace? Andy Bernard?
294
00:13:15,753 --> 00:13:17,588
Hey, how are you?
How you doing? I'm great.
295
00:13:17,672 --> 00:13:19,400
How are you doing? Are
you still with dunder Mifflin?
296
00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,967
No, got canned last week.
297
00:13:21,676 --> 00:13:22,760
Oh. I'm sorry to hear that.
298
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:24,363
No, best thing that
ever happened to me.
299
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,513
That's the attitude to have.
300
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,141
You know what? When I
got canned, I was lost, right?
301
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:32,061
I poured myself into this ridiculous
vacuum for toys called suck it.
302
00:13:32,437 --> 00:13:34,355
Yikes. Yeah, exactly, right?
303
00:13:34,439 --> 00:13:35,541
Then suddenly out of nowhere,
304
00:13:35,565 --> 00:13:39,068
the us military bought the
patent from me for $20 million.
305
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,821
Point is, forget those guys.
306
00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:42,947
Okay? Move on.
307
00:13:44,115 --> 00:13:45,491
Good to see you, Andy.
308
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:54,417
Call me a lay man, but I wish
there was some real food here.
309
00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,836
You know, like hamburgers
310
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:01,841
or oreos, or a pizza pie, or...
311
00:14:02,759 --> 00:14:05,595
What's another food
that we like? Tacos.
312
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:10,641
What I wouldn't give
for a big mess of tacos.
313
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:11,976
Tacos. Right now.
314
00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:13,686
I can go get us some tacos.
315
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:14,854
Brilliant.
316
00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:16,397
If you loan me some money.
317
00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,232
Yes, I can do that.
318
00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:23,780
For two tacos we
probably need about,
319
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:28,326
what, $20? Or $25? 20...
320
00:14:28,451 --> 00:14:29,702
$30.
321
00:14:29,786 --> 00:14:31,496
Yes, yes.
322
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,581
I've never eaten a taco.
323
00:14:33,664 --> 00:14:35,708
I'm not entirely sure
what they are.
324
00:14:35,792 --> 00:14:40,129
As long as they're not slimy, and
please, god, don't let them have eyes.
325
00:14:44,675 --> 00:14:45,927
Boom.
326
00:14:48,679 --> 00:14:49,806
This is interesting.
327
00:14:50,890 --> 00:14:52,183
Mm-hmm. What is interesting?
328
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,386
I just proved that he gives
his cell out to everybody.
329
00:14:55,269 --> 00:14:57,438
Or you proved that
he thinks you're gay.
330
00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:58,898
He doesn't think Jim is gay.
331
00:14:58,981 --> 00:15:00,751
A gay man would not leave
the house wearing those shoes.
332
00:15:00,775 --> 00:15:03,027
A gay man wouldn't leave
the store wearing those shoes.
333
00:15:03,319 --> 00:15:05,321
Hey, you bought me these shoes.
334
00:15:06,364 --> 00:15:07,800
Wait a second,
where's the centerpiece?
335
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:10,105
I knew it was bothering you,
so I threw it in the garbage.
336
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,912
Really, Phyllis? You
didn't just put it in your car?
337
00:15:12,995 --> 00:15:13,996
Nope.
338
00:15:14,455 --> 00:15:16,124
Which garbage?
It's not there anymore.
339
00:15:16,207 --> 00:15:18,584
A man emptied the garbage
into a bigger garbage
340
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,988
and then I heard someone say
they were locking the garbage.
341
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:22,797
You are out of control, Phyllis.
342
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,342
Come on, sweetie. We both
knew how this was gonna end.
343
00:15:30,138 --> 00:15:32,515
Joyce: Before we bring out
our guest of honor tonight,
344
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:37,770
we are very proud to introduce a
great philanthropist, and a great guy,
345
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,772
Robert California.
346
00:15:45,695 --> 00:15:46,821
Robert: Thank you.
347
00:15:46,904 --> 00:15:48,990
Why do we love dogs?
348
00:15:49,782 --> 00:15:51,617
Want me to tell you why?
349
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,327
There is no answer.
350
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:56,914
Our love for them
confounds reason.
351
00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:58,916
Do you believe this guy?
352
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,878
The state senator Robert
lipton loves dogs.
353
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:04,714
He asked me if I loved dogs.
354
00:16:05,673 --> 00:16:07,300
You know what I said?
355
00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:08,426
Yes.
356
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,430
Not a joke. That,
that was not even a joke.
357
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:15,933
Bella here was a
therapy dog for 10 years.
358
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:20,646
When her owner passed away, she
came to this organization for placement.
359
00:16:20,730 --> 00:16:24,233
But people don't often
adopt older dogs.
360
00:16:24,609 --> 00:16:29,155
So Bella and 11 heroes like her
361
00:16:29,906 --> 00:16:33,659
are being cared for by
our generous volunteers
362
00:16:33,743 --> 00:16:35,786
because, frankly,
nobody else will.
363
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:38,289
I will.
364
00:16:39,207 --> 00:16:42,084
I will take all of those dogs.
365
00:16:42,460 --> 00:16:43,920
Andy, that's very kind, but...
366
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:48,007
No, no, no. This guy can
talk and talk all he wants,
367
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:49,800
but it's not that complicated.
368
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,428
Andy, why don't we discuss
this... no, no, no. It's about
369
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:56,974
being there for someone after it's
become inconvenient for them to be around.
370
00:16:57,308 --> 00:16:59,101
Hello, everyone.
I'm Andy Bernard
371
00:16:59,185 --> 00:17:03,105
and I am going to take
that bitch home.
372
00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,568
That is a female dog reference.
373
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,488
This bitch understands onalty.
374
00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,031
Sassy human reference.
375
00:17:12,114 --> 00:17:14,617
Thank you. I will take Bella.
376
00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,412
And every single
one of her friends.
377
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:19,747
Oh, god.
378
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:23,876
This way.
379
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,003
Hope you all learned
something. Okay.
380
00:17:28,422 --> 00:17:31,217
Huey's going to need his
medication once every 90 minutes.
381
00:17:31,300 --> 00:17:33,237
You can administer it orally,
but he's going to puke it up.
382
00:17:33,261 --> 00:17:34,679
So other end's best.
383
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:38,182
Don't split up Daisy and mojo,
because Daisy will start to...
384
00:17:38,266 --> 00:17:40,893
I was going to say bark,
but it's more of a scream.
385
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,854
I'm so ready to love
all of these animals.
386
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,524
This one's even bonding
with me already.
387
00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,359
I know. Kenny's a therapy dog.
388
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,842
He apparently thinks you're in
some kind of emotional crisis.
389
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:54,615
Stupid dog.
390
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:58,494
If you would like to talk about this
some more, my door is always open.
391
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,163
So here's my office number
and my cell number.
392
00:18:01,247 --> 00:18:02,873
Thank you. Okay.
393
00:18:03,666 --> 00:18:05,269
Well, it looks like he
really did just want
394
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,003
to talk about the issues.
I'm sorry, Oscar.
395
00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:10,256
No, sorry about what? There's
nothing to be sorry about here.
396
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:15,136
No, I'm certainly not disappointed that
Angela's husband wasn't hitting on me.
397
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,847
I'd have to be a
monster to root for that.
398
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:20,016
A lonely, aging monster.
399
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,185
Tacos were on sale.
400
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,854
Eight for $3.
401
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,690
Oh, great.
402
00:18:29,025 --> 00:18:30,109
Okay.
403
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,653
Oh. Oh. Oh...
404
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,238
These tacos.
405
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:35,865
Mm-hmm. Mmm...
406
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:46,959
Mmm.
407
00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:49,420
Mmm. Oh!
408
00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:51,380
Huh.
409
00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,382
Mmm.
410
00:18:54,592 --> 00:18:56,636
Well, that's hit the spot.
411
00:18:58,387 --> 00:18:59,430
Very savory.
412
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:02,475
What do you do with
the crispy holder?
413
00:19:02,558 --> 00:19:04,518
Here, let's try this again.
414
00:19:04,769 --> 00:19:06,145
Here, don't put
your finger in...
415
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,914
Yeah, just hold it like
that. Hold it to the side.
416
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:09,857
Right. Hold it to the side.
417
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:12,068
Lean it to the side.
Look at me, like this.
418
00:19:12,902 --> 00:19:14,403
She's trying.
419
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:18,741
The winner of the three-day
trip to the skytop lodge
420
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:20,826
is Dwight schrute!
421
00:19:20,910 --> 00:19:21,952
Yes!
422
00:19:25,998 --> 00:19:30,211
The year-long membership to
Scranton bikram yoga is...
423
00:19:30,753 --> 00:19:31,837
Dwight schrute!
424
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,255
Oh, yes!
425
00:19:34,090 --> 00:19:35,216
Dwight: Yeah!
426
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:42,640
A one hour appointment with the
"kissing magician" goes to Dwight schrute.
427
00:19:42,723 --> 00:19:45,726
Oh, yeah!
428
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:50,106
Well, I think I can save
us all some time.
429
00:19:50,648 --> 00:19:53,943
Dwight schrute has
won every single item here.
430
00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,486
Thank you very much!
431
00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:59,281
All I had to do was look up
the prices, idiots. Suck it!
432
00:19:59,365 --> 00:20:03,327
Well, Dwight, yes, you
certainly are a record breaker.
433
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:07,123
Your donation is the largest
we've ever received
434
00:20:07,206 --> 00:20:10,835
at over $34,000.
435
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,676
Speech!
436
00:20:19,468 --> 00:20:20,678
Speech!
437
00:20:20,761 --> 00:20:22,805
Come on. Speech, speech!
438
00:20:36,152 --> 00:20:37,486
Thank you.
439
00:20:39,238 --> 00:20:41,157
Wow, I can't tell you
440
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:45,870
what an honor it is
to support this
441
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:48,664
thing.
442
00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:53,294
And obviously that amount of
money is no concern to me whatsoever.
443
00:20:56,380 --> 00:20:58,549
But I want to ask you something.
444
00:20:58,674 --> 00:21:02,845
When did it become
all about the money?
445
00:21:03,721 --> 00:21:07,683
When did it become about
the flower arrangements?
446
00:21:08,184 --> 00:21:10,144
And the white wine spritzers?
447
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:13,481
And all the dinner rolls?
448
00:21:13,564 --> 00:21:15,441
You people should be
ashamed of yourselves.
449
00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:18,027
How many courses did
we have tonight?
450
00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,362
Two? Three, maybe?
451
00:21:20,988 --> 00:21:22,573
If you chose the pudding.
452
00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:27,870
I mean, what waste. These tables
tarted up like victorian whores.
453
00:21:27,953 --> 00:21:30,206
Let's remember we are all here
454
00:21:32,625 --> 00:21:34,293
for the dog society.
455
00:21:34,376 --> 00:21:37,379
He's what's important,
whatever his name is.
456
00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:39,465
Not any of this.
457
00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:43,636
So that is going to be
my donation to you.
458
00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,387
Thank you and good night.
459
00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,472
Whoa!
460
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,390
Joyce: Uh...
461
00:21:53,270 --> 00:21:55,439
Oscar. Nice to see you again.
462
00:21:55,523 --> 00:21:57,316
It was lovely. It was lovely.
463
00:21:57,399 --> 00:21:59,735
And don't forget to call. Okay.
464
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,907
Senator: Thanks so
much for coming.
465
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:07,409
Why does this always
happen to me? Ahh!
466
00:22:08,619 --> 00:22:10,871
I just feel so bad for Angela.
467
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:15,084
Apparently, there were some
silly rumors going around tonight.
468
00:22:15,918 --> 00:22:17,586
We are very much in love.
469
00:22:18,671 --> 00:22:20,923
Very much in love.
470
00:22:22,383 --> 00:22:25,094
So it just goes on under
here like this?
471
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,595
That's right.
472
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,848
Oh, god. Yeah, you
never get used to that.
473
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:31,475
Hey, just wanted to check in
to see how you're doing.
474
00:22:31,559 --> 00:22:32,935
I am so great.
475
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:35,479
He's great. We're all great.
476
00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:36,856
Twelve dogs.
477
00:22:36,939 --> 00:22:39,692
This is my life now.
I'm a dog nurse.
478
00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,694
Look at that one,
though. He's smiling.
479
00:22:41,777 --> 00:22:44,238
Yeah, he should be. It's
his first day without a muzzle.
480
00:22:45,072 --> 00:22:48,409
This is the greatest thing
that has ever happened to me.
481
00:22:48,492 --> 00:22:50,327
Absolutely, it's... yes.
482
00:22:50,411 --> 00:22:51,495
Awesome. I'm sorry.
483
00:22:51,579 --> 00:22:52,955
Are you guys nuts?
484
00:22:53,455 --> 00:22:54,498
He's not doing great.
485
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:55,958
He was fired.
486
00:22:56,041 --> 00:22:57,251
This is terrible.
487
00:22:57,751 --> 00:23:01,046
This is literally the worst thing
that has ever happened to you.
488
00:23:01,130 --> 00:23:02,298
Not the best.
489
00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,972
You're right.
490
00:23:10,306 --> 00:23:11,807
He's right. I am a mess.
491
00:23:12,057 --> 00:23:14,411
This whole night I've been trying
to convince you guys that I'm fine.
492
00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:18,814
I guess I thought that if I could
convince you that I'm fine, maybe...
493
00:23:18,898 --> 00:23:20,524
Maybe you would think it, too.
494
00:23:24,445 --> 00:23:27,448
I'm sorry, it's just, I...
495
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:31,368
I don't get to be in a lot of
human conversations, so...
496
00:23:31,493 --> 00:23:34,747
Okay. Well, Andy, listen, it's
okay if you don't feel totally settled.
497
00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:36,165
This is all very fresh.
498
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:38,560
Yeah, I mean, admitting that
you need help is the first step.
499
00:23:38,584 --> 00:23:42,004
Yes, and also focusing
on the positive.
500
00:23:42,671 --> 00:23:44,506
Like, I got a lot of good
things going on.
501
00:23:44,590 --> 00:23:47,092
Yeah, like that rock opera.
502
00:23:47,176 --> 00:23:48,552
You could always do that, right?
503
00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:50,304
Yeah, I do. I have that.
504
00:23:51,513 --> 00:23:52,513
Yeah.
505
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:53,716
You're going to be all right.
506
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,643
No. No, he's not.
507
00:23:56,310 --> 00:23:57,436
Yes, I am.
508
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,647
Thank you, kev. You're welcome.
509
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:04,026
Sometimes I feel like
everyone I work with is an idiot.
510
00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:07,321
And by sometimes,
I mean all times.
511
00:24:08,197 --> 00:24:09,657
All the times.
512
00:24:10,866 --> 00:24:12,534
Every of the time.
513
00:24:15,329 --> 00:24:17,748
So, some of us ended up
adopting those elderly dogs.
514
00:24:17,831 --> 00:24:18,832
It's been great.
515
00:24:18,916 --> 00:24:21,794
Pepper's been getting me
out of the house. Going on runs.
516
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:24,380
My dog Ruby doesn't do anything.
517
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:26,298
She just lays there all day.
518
00:24:26,382 --> 00:24:27,883
She's so chill.
519
00:24:28,175 --> 00:24:29,468
What do you feed her?
520
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:32,638
Well, I put out pro bow wow,
but she barely touches it.
521
00:24:32,721 --> 00:24:34,098
She's so dainty.
522
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:35,474
Darryl: Is she sick?
523
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,017
How are her poops?
524
00:24:37,101 --> 00:24:38,268
Doesn't really poop.
525
00:24:38,352 --> 00:24:39,895
It's perfect.
526
00:24:39,979 --> 00:24:41,313
Nothing to pick up.
527
00:24:41,397 --> 00:24:44,066
She just kind of lies there
all day like a good girl.
528
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:46,151
I put on the TV for her,
529
00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,530
but I have to prop her
eyes open so she can see it.
530
00:24:49,738 --> 00:24:50,781
Does she smell?
531
00:24:50,864 --> 00:24:52,408
She smells horrible.
532
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:53,742
It's unbelievable.
533
00:24:53,826 --> 00:24:55,995
But I don't want to
put her in the bath.
534
00:24:56,078 --> 00:24:58,288
'Cause I'm afraid
that she'll drown.
535
00:25:00,374 --> 00:25:03,210
People seem awful
interested in you, Ruby.
536
00:25:03,794 --> 00:25:06,338
Guess they're
just jealous, right?
537
00:25:06,422 --> 00:25:08,257
Yeah, that a girl.
538
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,758
That a girl.
539
00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,093
Man, that stinks.
37506
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