Original subtitles

Secret To Happiness: Comparison Is The Thief Of Joy

Hi I'm Hailey with Caravan Wellness and your watching

our series the secret to happiness

and this is comparison is the thief of joy

So let me ask you a question

when is the last time that you looked at someone else

and you wish you had what they had whether that was

their body

their diet

their clothes their car

their house

their boyfriend no just kidding

that's something that we all do constantly comparison

is something that we all do every single day I just

want you to know that comparison is a completely normal

emotion

just like anxiety

fear

happiness

Joy

sadness

it's something that all of us feel on a regular basis

and here's the thing as humans

we're hardwired to desire

we're hardwired to always want something more whether

that's desiring more money

more power more love in our life

it's totally normal

To have these feelings of wanting something else

and so these feelings of comparison can also motivate

us

they can make us feel competitive and drive us towards

achieving our goals

they can also cause really detrimental things like

depression and sadness and leave those feelings

of anxiety hanging over us because we're constantly

wanting something else in today's world

we live in a highly digital society

we're constantly connected

we can get up to date on the latest trends

we can be connected to each other in real time

and while social media is an amazing tool to be honest

I probably wouldn't be sitting here with you today

if we didn't have social media it can also cause those

feelings of comparison and enable us to compare each

other more so

Let me ask you this

how often do you find yourself scrolling through

Instagram being like ugh I wish that I was sitting

doing a head stand in my living room or I wish that I

was on this beach halfway around the world or I wish

I had those amazing outfits that all of those awesome

bloggers are wearing I know I do it too

but one day I took a step back and I asked myself how

much time I was spending on social media in a negative

way and I realized it was actually a lot I realized

I was spending my time scrolling through Instagram

wishing I had things that I didn't even really want

isn't that kind of crazy that we end up forcing ourselves

to want things that we don't have that we actually

don't even want and the truth is that we

All individual and unique in our own way

so instead of focusing on all of the things that we

don't have and all of the things that we're not doing

how can we focus on the things that we do have and realize

all of the incredible things that we do have in our

lives already

so I want to share a quote with you that I think will

really resonate with you and shift the way that you

think about comparison and the way you think about

yourself and it's by Dr Seuss and since he's a doctor

we should all believe everything that he says and

it goes like this be who you are and say what you feel

because those who mind don't matter and those who

matter don't mind and I could not feel more strongly

about how much this quote fuels the way that I think

about myself when I'm able to shift my perception

of myself I'm able to

To approach life in a way that I don't feel like I need

to compare myself to others when I'm not comparing

myself to others I'm able to show up in my life in a more

authentic powerful way

I'm able to show up with more energy vibrancy and happiness

so now I want to share five tips with you so that you

can overcome comparison and catch that nasty comparison

thief red-handed the first is to remember that you

are in the driver's seat

you are the driver of your own body

you can control the path that you take of your own life

and while it may not always feel like you have control

the truth is you do you can't always control other

peoples actions

but you can always always control your reaction

Remember that no matter what twist intern happens

it's always an opportunity for something new

so even if it feels like you took the wrong turn trust

that your body has the intuition to take that internal

GPS and set you straight second and I think that this

might be my favorite tip remember that perfection

is an illusion on Instagram

you can always add a filter but it's important to remember

what's going on behind the scenes of people's lives

what you see on Instagram is a version of what people

want you to see it is a very carefully curated feed

of that person's life

so let's use this example you see this person that

has an amazing home and you look at it and just wish

why doesn't my house look like

That why

why isn't my couch that beautiful why don't I have

that coffee table what you might not be seeing is a

nasty pile of dishes in that person's sink

so while this is just an example and I'm sure many of

those homes don't have nasty piles of dishes in their

sink

the truth is what you're seeing is not always reality

and your reality is different from someone else's

reality

and that is totally okay

the third is to know your own individual goals and

be confident with them what you desire in life is very

different than what someone else desires in life

so why would your expected outcome be the same

if you're not interested in fitness or you're not

interested in cooking

why would you

Who go and work out every single day in the same way

that that famous blogger does or why would you prepare

a fancy meal if that doesn't interest you staying

true to the things that feel good to you are going to

keep you from comparing yourself to other people

next eliminate judgement

this means eliminate judgment of yourself and eliminate

judgment of others

don't get me wrong judgment is a completely normal

part of life

we judge things constantly when we go to a restaurant

we judge the food when we meet someone for the first

time we're inclined to judge them when we go to a workout

class

we judge the instructor because we're figuring out

whether or not we like the class so yes judgments are

a normal part of life

but it's important to recognize when we're using

negative judgments

Impact ourselves in a really negative way so an example

of this is I was on the subway a couple of weeks ago and

I think I was in a really bad mood to begin with

and I sat down and I was sitting there and I looked at

the woman across from me

and I was like ugh

those are such ugly shoes and then I thought to myself

why do I care if the woman sitting across from me has

ugly shoes and who am I to judge whether or not those

shoes are ugly

maybe those shoes were that woman's favorite pair

of shoes

maybe they made her feel awesome and you know what

at the end of the day

if those shoes make her feel awesome that makes me

feel awesome to recognizing this type of judgment

allowed me to take a step back

Understand what's really important or not

not judging that woman's shoes really

Impacted my day in a more positive way I was able to

say no judgment here I'm going to move on with my life

in a positive way

finally trust yourself

you are a far more intuitive person than you give yourself

credit for your body knows what it means and you know

what you love

and when you start comparing yourself to other people

you start to lack that trust in yourself when we don't

trust ourselves were not able to move forward confidently

and we stand in our own way when we're standing in our

own way

we don't achieve the things that we want in our life

we don't show up the way that we want to in our career

we don't cultivate amazing relationships

so when you're able to say I trust myself

and I trust my interests fully

You're able to be the person that you truly want to

be I'm gonna give you a quick example because I think

that it can help when you feel like someone else is

in your shoes I really love health and wellness I love

going to the gym I love nutrition

and I loved kale and for the longest time I felt like

people were judging me because they felt like it was

weird or they felt like I was a health nut and then I

finally said you know what this is what I love

and this is what I am interested in and it makes me feel

awesome

so I'm gonna keep doing it when I started to trust myself

and trust that that was good for my body I was able to

cultivate this sense of confidence that I never had

before and I felt happier and energized in a way that

I didn't when I didn't trust myself

so let's talk

About a little bonus tip

how can you catch that comparison thief well the first

thing to do is to identify what is truly important

to you not what's important to your best friend not

what's important to your family or your co-workers

but what is important to you is having really nice

clothes and really fancy shirts and shoes is important

to you

if so I think that's awesome and you should go out and

you should pursue that and you should follow people

on Instagram who do those types of things

and if not it's OK to click unfollow if you find that

following people who don't also find your interests

important to them

unfollowing them can actually be a really positive

way to stop comparing yourself if you find working

out and eating healthy something that really lifts

you up and energizes you pursue more of that and finally

what I want you to do right now is write down five things

that you love about you

yes five things and I promise if you take a couple of

minutes

you can think about five things that make you awesomely

unique

maybe you're really really nice

maybe you're sensitive in the best way possible

maybe you're the life of the party whatever it is write

it down and tape it to your mirror and I want you to look

at that every single day before you leave for the day

to remember how truly awesome

you are

because guess what you are

You are you and I am me

and that's what makes the world go around wouldn't

the world be really boring

if we were all the same

thank you so much for tuning into our series

the secret to happiness

this episode was comparison is the thief of joy stay

tuned for more episodes coming soon