Original subtitles

If you could see before your birth how your life would be...

...would you still want to come into this world?

No matter what others would say, I´d want to.

Because no one has ever asked me that question since I was born...

Is this the life you want, Cicek?

Eggs with cemen.

Your favourite.

Your heart only beats for money, nothing else.

You are impudent.

I found out what kind of life I want...

...or rather who I want to spend my life with...

...on the day I turned 18.

On every birthday mom would give me something...

...she used when she was young.

I am18 now...

...and I thought this tradition would change.

Surprise!

Happy Birthday, Cicek!

My dear Murat.

My lovely daughter, my dear Cicek.

Wow... Murat you look very handsome.

It is for you, dear Cicek. My rose.

Come.

Look how beautiful she is.

Did you like your present?

I loved wearing this hair clip.

It is completely hand made. Here, here.

No one else has the exact same one.

Actually there was an another replica of this...

...but I couldn't find it. I don't know where I put it.

But it'll pop out somewhere.

-Here, take it. -Thank you.

Let me kiss you.

You might as well get married.

What? Why marry?

My daughter is going to be a doctor.

Yeah. I'm thinking of being a urologist.

Come on, make a wish.

FOR BOTH OF US

Cicek...

...just make yourself comfortable here.

You will fall down one day.

Would it be bad? There would be an action in our lives.

We call it gravity.

If I fell flat on the asphalt,

Recep wouldn't be able to open his shop at 9 as he does every day.

The school bus wouldn't be able to pick up children at the same time.

The science teacher's daughter couldn't hide her headscarf right at the corner.

And of course...

Hatice Soylu, the daughter of Hasan Soylu has passed away today.

Her funeral service will be held...

...at centre mosque after noon prayer.

You are right...

...same things every day.

Why the hell did you move from Ankara when you were a baby?!

Are we going to die here out of boredom?

Who says it?

Take a look at me, is my hair looking alright?

Kudret, the rapist cat in the market.

Go, go! Let Kudret grope you.

He is a total jerk but he wouldn't do such things.

You are such a humanist.

Good morning.

Hello.

Kudret.

Can I have a cigarette?

Which one do you smoke?

Look how easy I found it.

-Actually I heard you saying hello. -Why didn't you look at me then?

I waited for you to say my name.

-The thing is... -Yes?

We are going to Trafo tonight.

Come with us. We can drink together.

No, I can't. It's my birthday today.

My parents would be offended.

Wow... Birthday kid.

Let me see...

A gift from me. Happy Birthday.

Thank you.

You turned 18 now, right?

It means, you are allowed to get married now.

Gosh. Why is everyone obsessed to get me married?

My life hasn't even started yet.

Or it has already started somewhere...

...but...

...it´s as if I am missing it.

I mean...

...sometimes it feels like that.

Do you get me?

Yes, indeed.

I understand you because I do the same in my life, too.

But I do it in a philosophical way, not like you.

You know what... What I do when I feel overwhelmed?

What?

You don't know, do you?

Come closer.

Come closer, come closer.

Come on, come closer.

God, I won't bite you, girl.

When I feel like depressed...

...I go to Trafo.

I should go.

Maybe next time. Thanks for the gift.

You're welcome. See you.

MET Private Education Course

I ran like a horse. Where is the teacher?

I guess he is not coming. Let's clear out.

-Let's go. -Let's clear out.

-You know what... -I came for nothing.

What did you do with Kudret, huh?

Did you get new experiences with him?

Alright, everyone, please sit down.

Come on! Who am I talking to?

Ezgi, do not linger.

Please, be quiet!

Ahmet, please. Mert, come on!

Should I make you sit down one by one? Sit down!

Okay, listen to me now.

What is it, Miss? Are you finally getting married?

Unlike you, I'm not fixated on finding a husband, dear Ceylan.

Alright, Miss.

Unfortunately, Mr. Ilyas had an accident.

He has a hip fracture.

A new teacher will substitute him for a while.

He came from Istanbul.

He is a very successful teacher.

Don't compare him with Mr. Ilyas. I'm telling you.

I am calling him in now. Be respectful, ok?

-Understood Ceylan? -Of course, Miss.

-Thank you. -You're welcome.

Please, come in sir, please.

Make yourself comfortable, please.

Huh?

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

-Have a nice class. -Thank you.

-I'll be in my room if you need anything. -Thank you.

Have a nice class.

Hello, everyone.

My name is Dogan Akin.

What is your name?

Yes, you?

Cicek.

Your Surname?

Emm... Ince.

Okay now...

...where have you left off?

We were at First New Movement.

-What was that? -The Garip poets.

The Garip poets.

They devoted themselves to eliminate the forms of Turkish poetry.

But all of them at once.

Rhythm, rhyme.

They were three friends. Three poet friends.

They got together and...

...published a book in 1941.

Its name is Garip. That´s where their names come from. The Garip.

Is there anyone who can remember these three poet friends?

Yes.

Orhan Veli, Melih Cevdet Anday, Oktay R┐fat.

Bravo. Thank you.

These three poets claim that...

...a poem about an ordinary life can be written.

And it could even be written as we talk right now.

In a simple, plain language.

Sir... I must disagree.

In order to feel something we should be a little bit poetical, right?

This good weather ruined me.

Did you feel it?

Yes. Lucky Orhan Veli.

Are you a poet, sir?

Look, there is a saying...

...one must go to hell and come back to become a poet.

Have you gone?

I have.

I have but...

Anyway, let's open our books... the First New Movement.

What a strange guy. Weird, interesting.

Now I am going to read you how Orhan Veli explains it with his own words.

God, please make something new happen.

Send me someone. Let there be a miracle.

Let my ordinary life change a little, just a little bit. Please.

Lots of sorrow but we also got plenty of raki.

‟Find the person you love, then let him kill you” said a grumpy wise man once.

It was my birthday. A foggy winter day.

Rain everywhere.

I let my literature teacher kill me.

Guys, we will continue with the test after the break, okay?

Sir...

...you are new here so you don't know it yet...

...but we are not exactly following the curriculum.

But I can help you if you want me to.

What is your name?

Ceylan.

Ceylan. Come here.

Alright.

Can you open your hand?

Write down all the curriculum here.

Have it on my desk before you leave in the afternoon. Ok? Thanks.

See you.

Ceylan.

You've shown less cleavage. That´s why it didn't work.

If you open up your ass he might have a look at it.

You say so?

Actually you are right.

I will pass by your boyfriend, Nezih. The poor guy should see a woman.

You don't say! You are such a slut.

-Some have it, some don't. -Please, stop it.

You have boobs instead of a brain.

"You have boobs instead of a brain."

Yes, my love, he is 40 and single.

They say he does not care about the curriculum...

...he makes his own schedule. Such a man.

What is going on?

The new teacher. We explored the guy.

Whoa! When did you find out all this?

That's my specialty. I beat this fella if you noticed.

Don't be so sure about it, dear.

Why, what else do you have?

No way!

Dogan's phone?

Yes. I went to the principal's office.

I've distracted him and then I looked into his file.

What happened, dear? You look a little pale.

Gosh! You look a little bit off.

-What happened? -What good is it for?

You are joking, right?

We will make a prank call.

That´s a great idea.

What if he falls in love with me!?

Come on.

What's it to you?

Are you in or not?

I'm not sure, poor guy just came here.

That's even better, he a closed-box.

An enigma, an attraction.

Yes.

He is here.

A bottle of water, please.

Every cell in my body was begging me, ‟Don't do this, Cicek”.

"This guy is no good for you."

"You will get hurt. Stay away from him."

I'm in.

Falling in love is a little bit like committing a sin.

Even if they say there is hellfire in the end...

...we don´t stop ourselves.

‟I can't take my eyes off you...”

Who knows...

...maybe it's that fire that we love.

‟...restless tongue, raw state...

...melting from a silver top.”

Come on, hurry up! He is coming, run, run!

I'm out.

Cicek!

-Where? You didn't eat. -To the class of course.

Wait a sec... Did you apply some eyeliner?

-No! -Cicek!

Ours was a harmless trap.

We were just playing a game.

That´s why I didn't notice it.

If there was a trap...

...it was not Dogan who fell into it.

Slow down guys.

It was me.

Enjoy your new dress.

What are you doing, glued to the computer?

What are you doing, mom? Knock, for God's sake.

I brought your dress for tomorrow.

I chose them by myself and ironed it.

Come on, dinner is ready.

No thanks, I won't eat.

But it has been like this for days, Cicek.

Come and eat something decent.

Is this a new habit?

I am going to study.

Ulku, is something wrong?

No.

Ulku.

Ulku.

There is something up with Cicek.

Like what?

She has not been eating with us for days.

So?

"So"?

I suggest...

...to watch a movie together, but she won't.

She puts on make up before going to the course.

She's acting weird.

Come on Ulku, she is a young girl.

Maybe she likes a boy.

What's to it, right? Why should I worry?

I should even rejoice and dance, huh?

Did I say something like that?

I was just trying to say...

-Don't get upset in vain. -How do you know it's in vain?

How could you know?

Things have always been...

-...the way you wanted-- -Stop saying "you"!

The way we wanted, Murat.

I haven't done anything by myself.

You were always a part of it, remember.

You always reminded me of that.

I mean we got...

...everything we wanted.

I mean... She lives the way you want her to.

Actually we all do.

What did you say?

Nothing.

Are you complaining?

If you´re not satisfied leave, Murat. The door is over there.

If you don't want it, leave.

If you're unhappy, just leave. The door is over there!

Guys...

...unfortunately, your time is up.

Cicek...

...would you collect the papers?

Of course.

Let me have the papers. Time is up.

Here you are, sir.

Thank you.

You asked me something about a poem.

Yes, sir, we asked you several times to read us a poem, but you didn´t.

Just look...

...there might be something you like.

Thank you.

‟You are not like them.”

Sir, can I go to the bathroom?

Thank you.

Eat your fruit, my dear Cicek.

They are delicious.

I don´t want any.

I am going to bed.

Good night.

See...

...there is something up with her.

I told you.

She is in love.

How do you know?

Ulku.

I didn't forget...

...how it feels like to be in love.

Come on.

Ulku.

Go away.

Let me go.

Gosh.

She is not old enough to fall in love. She is still too young.

Don´t do it.

Alright, everyone...

...the pioneer of the socialist realist poetry in Turkey is...

...Nazim Hikmet.

I guess you all know who Nazim is.

You probably have heard at least one of his poems.

-Some were set to songs-- -Sir...

...since you don't read any...

...can I read one poem?

I mean as an example to the subject.

Alright.

To think about you is beautiful.

To think about you is hopeful.

It's like listening to the most beautiful song...

...from the most beautiful voice on earth.

To think about you is beautiful.

To think about you is hopeful.

But hope is not enough for me anymore.

I don't want to listen to songs anymore...

...I want to sing.

Wow... he had balls of steel.

Man! All she thinks about is balls, even Nazim`s.

Thank you Cicek, you may sit down.

Yes...

...Nazim spent most of his life in prison or in exile.

-If we think of society and the truth... -Sit down.

-Don´t say a word. -...in this country...

-Okay, take your hand away. -...there is a price.

-Sir, can I say something? -He always wrote about love.

-About his lover, his country... -Shut up!

Is there anything left we didn't try?

How are we going to catch his attention?

I am not playing along with you, I give up.

"With you"? Did I text him?

Okay, we had fun but it's enough, don´t push it.

Oh, so I sacrificed my secret number for nothing.

Actually I would show you how it ends...

...but be thankful that he's impotent.

-Oh my! -Idiot.

So he is impotent because he is not interested in you?

Indeed.

Did God give you bigger boobs instead of a brain?

What's wrong with you?

You both have been down in the mouth all day.

Sevil?

What's with you?

Nothing, I am fine.

We broke up with Nezih.

I won't look at him ever again.

He is a total douche bag.

Don't worry, you will make up again.

In two days, not more.

I won't.

Whoa!

Nice song though. I like it.

Turn it down, idiots.

Sevil!

Sevil!

-Nezih? -Sevil!

-Sevil, I know you are there! -Get up.

-Get down. -Sevil!

See, it has not been even two days. I told you.

Sevil, look down!

Come on, Sevil, look at me!

Come on, girl.

He will probably leave in a minute, lie down.

Sevil, I will shout all night. I swear I will. Sevil!

-Aren't you even a little curious? -No.

I am getting curious, Sevil, come on.

She is more excited than I am.

Sevil! Look down, Sevil!

Call Sevil! Look down, Sevil!

Stop, stop!

Sevil, I love you very much! Sevil, look down!

I won't come! Go away!

Sevil, I won't leave until you come!

Don't play hard to get! Come here!

Okay, don't look. I will keep on shouting. Sevil!

Come on, come on.

-Come on. -Get off me!

Sevil! Sevil!

What?

‟Sevil, would you marry me?”

-You, idiot! -Don't play hard to get, go downstairs.

I love you, damn it! Come here!

Go downstairs.

She is coming.

Yes!

God! Yes!

-Are we seriously getting married? -Yes, we are.

Yes!

-I love you! -I love you, too.

-Did you like the flames? -What did you just do?

-Do you want me to set everywhere on fire? -You are so cute!

-I adore you! -Damn it, you are so cute!

Hey crazy, what's up?

Cicek?

I want private lessons from you.

Excuse me?

All the teachers in the course do that. So I am asking you.

You are my teacher, right?

I'll pay you.

I thought you wanted medical school. Right?

You should study math and science.

Why do you need literature lessons?

-Sevil is getting married. -Who?

Oh, your friend. Got it.

Isn't she too young?

Do you think age matters in love?

What do you want to do?

Something about love.

Sevil is my best friend.

I want to write something for them and then read it in their wedding.

But I don´t know how to write it.

Teach me.

Cicek...

...go home.

Good night.

What have you done?

I've butchered my parents.

It's tomato juice, idiot, come in.

-I freaked out, fool. -What's going on in the dead of night?

-Are you seriously getting married? -Yes.

When?

-Next month. -Next month?

Yes, next month.

His parents will come this weekend to ask for my hand.

My God.

Why are you rushing into it?

Huh? What's going on?

You, dog.

Come on now.

I haven't slept with him. I would have told you.

I am not so sure about that.

We marry out of love.

So be it.

-Cicek... -Yes?

I hope you fall in love like I have.

I tell you, it feels really great.

You don't belong to where you sleep...

...but to the person you want to sleep with.

Are you sleeping?

Murat?

Murat?

Yes?

You are right.

She is in love.

Can I sit here?

Sure.

You are right.

Pardon me.

What you wrote. It's true.

Did you like it?

It's nice but something is missing.

Okay.

Teach me, then.

It's all I want.

You were going to write it for a friend who Is getting married, right?

Yes.

About love.

Did you ever love someone so bad...

...that you want to marry him?

Have you cuddled with someone?

You haven't even kissed, right?

Cicek...

...it's very hard to explain these without experiencing them.

Very hard.

Why?

Because I'm too young, right?

Because you are too young.

Hope no customers show up.

There is no one else to show me how to roll a cigarette.

Only you know how.

You are right.

Alright, then...

...let me show you, teach you.

Here is my tobacco.

Tobacco bag, leather.

Here is our rolling paper. This is very important.

I use Arabic gum rolling paper, it's more natural.

It doesn't contain any chemicals.

Here we have our tobacco.

I am smoking Adiyaman tobacco. It's strong.

Because I am a tough guy myself.

Anyway, you put the filter on your lips...

...or you put it on the edge. Anyways.

-Kudret... -Hold on, dear.

First you place it here and then stretch it like this...

...in order to stabilise it.

-Don't squeeze it too hard... -Kudret...

-...and the tobacco must-- -...look at me.

Who would close a shop this early?

Kudret!

Emm...

-...I have to go. -Don't rush.

-I'm late. -Okay, wait a sec--

My knees gave away. Twinkie.

Such a twinkie, I swear.

Just for five minutes.

Wow.

Did you like it?

Well...

...it's sincere.

Because of you.

I haven't done anything, have I?

Remember you told me...

...that I can't write those things...

...without kissing or loving someone.

Yes.

I did it.

I kissed someone.

Okay.

Okay?

You wanted to have private lessons. Okay...

...you got it.

Are you joking?

I only want one thing, alright?

You won't do anything before I say.

Okay?

I won´t.

Promise.

Thank you.

Are you ready?

Now...

...I will tell you a word, okay?

You will tell me three words which you relate it.

But without thinking, immediately. Deal?

Deal.

I´m telling one...

Impossible.

To give up.

Nice, write it down.

What else?

Touch.

Okay, nice. Write it down.

Yes.

Don't think.

Teacher.

Okay, write me a story about these three words. Okay?

You have half an hour. Go.

Our unique, magical...

...and impossible story began like this.

There was an age difference of 20 years.

My parents would kill me.

The townsfolk would lynch Dogan.

But I didn't care...

...about any of these.

How many people are invited to the wedding?

200.

You will read this in front of 200 people, huh?

Nope, not good. Start over.

No good!

Will I ever see you reading a poem?

Just once, I want to hear one so bad, please.

Finish your story.

Okay.

May I also teach you something?

-Oh, my! -Please.

-Were you going to teach me this? -You said I need experiences.

What now?

-We wait. -For what?

Could you please be quiet?

What are you doing?

This kid has a bad influence on Cicek.

He is going to ruin everything.

Who is the kid?

That's what I'm trying to find out.

We have to stop this. I am losing my daughter.

Why do you stare?

Should I just stand and watch, like you. Like a coward.

Is it not good again?

On the contrary...

...it is very good.

You're kidding!

So, is it over?

Our lessons?

Actually there is only one thing left...

...forget everything you learned, okay?

I mean...

...do whatever your heart tells you to. Alright?

Are you sure?

Okay.

There is no text message in her phone.

No unknown number either.

She covers her tracks, just like her mother.

You are exaggerating it now, Ulku.

-I won't let a stranger change our fate. -Hi, Murat!

-What's up, Efraim? -Where have you been?

I've been around.

Our football matches are no fun without you.

We lost to every team we played.

-I'll be over there. -Let's have some tea.

Obviously you don't train well.

-You never join us. -I will.

Ulku?

How are you?

Fine. We are back from shopping.

I heard Sevil is getting married.

Yes, I hope for the best for them.

And I also hope for the best for Cicek.

Isn't it too soon?

She is just 18. Why the rush?

She is obviously not a child. I was 16 when I got married.

So she should end up like you, then?

Think again.

I think you should look after Cicek more.

What do you mean?

I wasn't going to tell you but I saw Cicek and Kudret in the shop.

Who is Kudret?

That hooligan son of Ali.

He drinks all day in the shop.

I was there for shopping...

...then I saw Cicek and Kudret...

...and the shutters were closed.

So?

They were being very intimate with each other.

They were kissing.

On the lips.

What's going on?

Why don't you come here, Cicek? Sit down.

Alright.

Is something wrong, dear Murat?

Cicek, you turned 18.

You are a young girl now.

Of course, you will go out, have fun...

-...you will have boyfriends-- -You'll stop seeing that guy!

Which guy?

See...

...how she pretends not to know.

What the hell were you doing with him?

Mom, we did not do anything wrong.

I'm not sure about that. Serife saw you.

I bet the whole town knows now.

Ok, look at me Cicek. Listen to me.

Your mom is a little bit excited.

Are you in love?

I swear I was going to tell you...

...but I couldn't... I mean--

You won't see him again. It's over.

-For God's sake, mom. -I said it's over!

You will go to the course and come back straight home!

I will follow you if necessary.

-Murat... -Okay Cicek, your mom got a little mad.

-Please. -I understand why you got mad.

I honestly don't understand how I fell in love with a guy like this...

...but this is the first time I fell in love.

Did you never fall in love?

Don't be ridiculous.

It's certainly over now, you understand? Period.

Is that what you say, too, dad?

Did you get what you wanted?

Your plan.

Sorry, our plan.

Cicek?

Cicek, what's going on?

What is this place?

Sevil's family are farmers.

They stay here in summer.

It's close to the farm and it's cool.

No one comes here in winter.

I got one extra key and I used to come here from.

There is just not much furniture here but...

That is good.

You got nothing more to learn from me.

So, this is it?

Yes.

You are coming to the wedding, right?

You will listen to my story with everyone else, right?

You won't?

Mr. Ilyas is coming back this week.

So are you leaving?

Okay.

Thank you very much.

I mean...

...for everything.

Cicek. Cicek.

-I have to tell you something. -Me too.

-I have never-- -Cicek, please--

-Don't go... Please. -Don't--

It's too late...

...for whatever you're going to say.

Is this real?

I think it´s a dream.

You were about to say something.

Don't ask.

I don't want to hear it anymore.

I won't ask, Dogan.

I won't say a word.

As long as you don't go away.

Dogan?

Dogan?

Dogan?!

Where have you been?

I am right here. Where else can I be?

-Next lecture is literature, right? -What is going on with you?

Nothing, Sevil.

You act really weird.

I can't deal with you today, open your books and do some tests.

But our subject is literature.

-There is no literature today. -Why, where is Mr. Dogan?

Mr. Dogan resigned today. He went back to Istanbul.

Cicek?

You were a step taken outside this world.

Our lives...

...were unanswered questions.

That´s it.

That milky way... that´s slipping through your hands.

Those sand grains...

...I am in one of them.

I am about to start to a new journey...

...it's snowing...

...one love is caught in a snowstorm, at the very beginning.

You are just a child and I was...

...in love with the snowstorm in your voice.

You are just a child...

...who loses her balance after every break up.

What else can be a bigger threat than a child who doesn't speak?

No one knows the answer to my question.

I'm a bad story teller, though.

And when an accident happens...

...they call it love.

Cicek.

I didn't say anything to you today.

You skipped the course, fine. But it's very late. Get up.

Breakfast is ready.

Come on now!

Cicek?

Where have you been? Where did you stay last night?

Leave me alone.

I know you were not with Kudret.

Kudret?

I know you. You wouldn't like that bum.

You're not in love with Kudret.

Did you talk about Kudret all this time?

-With whom did you spend the night? -With no one.

You will tell me!

I don't know you anymore. How could you run away?

-Look at me! -Enough!

I said leave me alone. Don't you hear me?

I always did what you've told me to.

Every day I wore your old clothes!

I ate and drank what you wanted me to.

What else do you want from me?!

I even picked my field of study for you.

Don't raise your voice! That's nonsense.

You walked around with a stethoscope since you were a child.

You wanted to study medicine.

-Is that so? -Of course!

-I used to play with a stethoscope, huh? -Put them away!

-I made you buy me an apron, where is it? -Give them to me!

Why are there no photos of them?

Give them to me. Why would I lie to you?

Why don't I see them, then?

I see different things here, look.

A photo of me and dad.

Me and dad...

...me alone... me and Kadife.

Why don't I have any photos with you, mom? Why?

Why am I being raised in others' arms?

Why won't you ever...

...caress my head for once?

You are being ridiculous now.

You got what you want.

Don't worry.

It doesn't matter anymore who he was.

I couldn't do it but...

...he left me.

It hurts, mom.

My heart hurts.

I gave up. I don't want to fall in love anymore.

Do something. Make the pain go away.

Huh, mom?

Hug me.

Say it's going to be alright.

Huh?

Mommy...

Ulku...

...I'm home.

Cicek!

What's wrong, honey?

What did I do to her, dad?

Why doesn´t mom love me?

Cicek...

...why wouldn't she love you?

She loves you.

What made you think that?

She doesn't.

She loves you in her own way.

That's all she can do.

Sometimes...

...she looks at me...

...like I've done something wrong.

I've met people who live their lives based on a single lie.

I've seen people who wake up to the same day.

I promised myself not to be one of them.

But now...

...all I have is the ashes of an ended love.

I get it now...

...growing up also means going to waste.

What is this, mom?

It's the wedding day.

Sevil is your best friend.

I'll explain it to her. She would understand me.

I won't butt in if you come.

Wear anything you want.

Put on make-up as you wish. Do it all by yourself.

I won't even ask you...

...whom you love...

I promise I won't ask you anything.

I just want you to... When I see you like this--

Don't worry, mom. I grew up.

We can have silent talks now.

You should have worn a scarf. You will get cold.

-You should have worn your red scarf. -I can't.

-Why? -The man I loved has it.

-Why wouldn't you tell me-- -You promised me.

Alright, I'll shut up.

Murat.

Murat, dance with me.

-Not now, Ceylan. -Come on, please.

Everybody is dancing. The kids are dancing.

-Are you going to deny me this? -You see?

Come on.

Are you alright?

It's time for my gift.

Hello, everyone. Excuse me.

Excuse me.

You look great, congratulations.

Hello, I am Cicek.

Sevil is my best friend.

She also is the craziest one in town.

Good luck with her, dear Nezih.

I prepared a short poem for her.

I mean for both of them.

I would like to read it if you don't mind.

It's my first time on stage. Pardon me.

Come on.

Come on!

Alright. Alright. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

I won't read it, then.

I better sing to you.

Alright?

I desisted...

...from your eyes.

I desisted...

...from your words.

Say one ‟oh”, it´s enough,

Silently...

...being lonely...

...I sent my lips.

Don't kiss, take, it´s enough.

My skin doesn't know your hands.

My heart doesn't know your heart.

Oh this smell, this skin, this touch.

Oh this madness, surround, surround my body.

This is the time for disappearing...

Dogan?

What are you doing here?

Does she know?

Did you tell her?

Were you able to tell her?

So they put someone else's brain in uncle Hasan's head?

-Exactly, a strange guy's brain. -Whose brain?

I don't know, a stranger. They took his brain...

-...put it in uncle Hasan's head. -Is he alright?

-Uncle Hasan is still the same. -The hell he is.

Everybody is obsessed about it. Uncle Hasan is still the same.

Fuck off! Take Riza for instance. Put his brain in Kudret's head.

Would Kudret still be the same?

-Yes, of course. -Fuck off.

-Uncle Hasan is still the same. -Alright, then, say Riza.

-I have his brain. -Riza.

-I have his brain now. Call him Riza. -Riza.

-Say it. -Riza.

Yes, bro?

Fuck!

-You, lucky dog. -Come on, let's go.

Oh, sure.

Sure you leave now.

-Lucky bastard. -Shut up!

-Riza, close the shop later. -Okay.

Nice chick.

Cicek.

Cicek.

I'm crazy for you.

Do you hear me?

I'm crazy for you.

Remember the day you came to the shop...

...you came through the door...

...as if you were floating in air.

When you kissed me...

...I was like...

...since that day...

Oh my God.

Cicek...

...do you hear me?

I´m telling you.

Are you crying?

What's going on?

Look at me.

Are you thinking about someone else?

Are you thinking about someone else right next to me?

-Look at me! -Leave me alone!

Don't drive me crazy!

My love is my honour. You understand?

Fuck off!

Fuck off!!

Fucking idiot. Fucking retard.

Get up! Get up now.

Get up.

Get up, come on!

We are leaving.

-Get up! -Stop.

Behave. Fucking idiot!

Stop, I will get off. Stop now!

Kudret stop, I'll get off.

Kudret, I'll get off.

-What the fuck?! -Stop!

Stop! Stop here! I'll get off.

Dogan!

I know you are there, open the door!

Don't you have the guts to look at me?

Why did you come back, then?! You have no right to come back!

Dogan!

You can't burst into someone's life and then disappear!

You can't just pretend you never looked at me!

You can't leave after you make me fall in love with you! Do you hear me?

Dogan!

-Dogan, where are you? -Cicek.

I was looking for you.

You jerk.

-How could you leave me?! -Cicek, wait.

-How could you leave me? -Cicek.

Let me go!

Love is like giving a loaded gun to someone...

...and wait for them to shoot you.

I gave that gun to Dogan that night.

Where are you going?

Never to take it back.

Ulku?

Tell me you found her.

-What are you doing? -I am burning them.

She can't find it out anymore.

I won't leave any trace behind. Go, find my daughter!

I looked everywhere, couldn´t find them. Her phone is off.

-Let's go to the police. -What would they do? She is 18.

-Just accept it, it's over. -No, it's not! Leave me alone.

-Please, Dogan will tell her the truth. -He can't prove it.

Ulku, please look at me! Look at my face, please.

-Get off me! -I am exhausted. Please, listen.

-Let go off me! -I said it's over.

-It's over! -No, it's not!

I dedicated my life to it, it's not over!

What are you doing to me?

Huh?

Then, what?

We should burn along.

We should burn with them.

We should burn too. Ulku, we should burn ourselves.

Pull yourself together! Don't go crazy.

-Let's burn with them. -Stop it!

-Let's burn together, get off me. -Stop! Stop!

-We burn together, then. -It's alright.

It's alright.

I give up now.

It can't be Dogan.

How could it be... It can't be Dogan.

It can't be Dogan.

Do you realize how little we know each other?

Yes.

There are so many things I don't know about you.

Like...

-What is your sign? -Aries.

That was easy. I'll find something more difficult.

-Let me think... -Ask me.

Have you ever got beaten up?

-Yes. -Of course.

I was in a cab once.

We argued over something.

I thought I could take him down.

Then we got in a fight. Guess what happened?

There were 30 guys in the blink of an eye.

I got beaten up so badly.

-They smashed my face in. -It sounds terrible.

-My turn. -Yes.

What was the moment you felt most ashamed?

I was in 4th grade.

I had played in the snow a little, I got really wet.

-What did the teacher do? -What?

He took my uniform off and put it on the heater.

I sat in my pantyhose for three hours.

Unbelievable.

Did you blush?

I was so ashamed that I can't even forget about it today.

It's my turn.

Who was your first love?

Come on, of course you've fallen in love before.

Who was she?

She was a girl in college.

Was she pretty?

Very.

What is her name?

-Cicek... -Yes?

Alright, then, it's obviously something personal.

Last question.

Yes.

Did she leave you?

Alright, come here.

I will never leave you.

Yes, you will.

Never.

I will never let you go.

What now?

What do you want?

I would like to come to Istanbul with you.

College?

I can choose a college in Istanbul. I have always wanted to live there.

Your parents?

My dad would understand.

He will get mad and upset...

...but he will understand.

-Cicek... -Hmm?

-I should tell you something. -Yes.

Dogan.

Nothing you say would take you away from me, alright?

And it doesn't matter. All I want is...

...to enjoy this very moment with you.

Dogan.

-Don't forget to bring me some clothes. -Okay.

-And a pack of cigarettes. -Come on.

Well done, Cicek, you made him act just like you do.

-Hello, how are you? -Fine thanks and you?

-Can I get one? -Sure.

-Here you are. -Thanks, see you.

See you.

I won't open it.

-Mom! -Cicek.

-I'm begging you, please. -Let me go!

-You are my sweetheart. -Where is mom?

Don't forget, I'm your father. Listen to me.

I'm begging you. Please, I'm begging you.

I'm begging you.

-Cicek, please listen to me. -Let me go!

Why does Dogan have this?

-Cicek, please. -Dad let me go! You don't know anything.

Why does Dogan have this? Tell us so that dad can understand it, too.

Years, years ago...

...I gave birth to a baby.

Don't tell me tales.

She was the most beautiful girl on earth, she...

...was the smartest and the most kind-hearted one.

She was kind of a miracle.

She was too beautiful to be real.

I named her Cicek.

What the hell are you talking about? I have never been like a miracle.

Who is talking about you?

Who is she?

Your older sister.

My older sister?

Do I have an older sister?

Where is she now?

She was 18...

...when she was diagnosed...

...with cancer.

They said one year...

...that's how much time she had.

Did she die?

There was just one hope, just one chance.

A sibling... that's what doctors said.

The marrow of a sibling could have saved her.

Can someone make love whilst crying?

I did.

I made love to your father with tears in my eyes...

...and praying to God.

After 9 months, when I was giving birth to you in that operating room...

...your sister was in agony in the next room.

The poor girl didn´t have much time left.

I thought she was going to be alright...

...she wasn't. Your marrow didn't work.

She closed her eyes...

...20 days after surgery.

My dear Cicek didn't open her eyes again.

It was not your fault.

Exactly, exactly. That's what your father said that day.

"It's not her fault, Ulku. She is your child too."

Do you know what I think when I look at you?

Please, don't.

I gave birth to you for just one reason...

...but you failed us.

It doesn't matter to me anymore if you live or die.

You are lying, aren´t you?

You loved me, right, mom?

Did you never love me?

I have.

I have...

...but under one condition.

I raised you as if you were your sister.

And...

...all the clothes I gave you as a present.

They all belonged to your sister.

Mosaic cake...

...was her favourite. Ceramics...

...was the thing she loved. That film was her favourite, too.

What about studying medicine? It was your sister's major.

Even your name doesn't belong to you.

We...

...moved from Ankara to here immediately.

All these years...

...I raised you as if you were your sister.

I looked at you and dreamed of her.

And you didn't object.

You just did what you were told.

God had answered my prayers, he had accepted the deal...

...but how could I had known that God had his own terms, too.

What terms?

Your sister...

...had fallen in love with a guy in college.

We had been against this love. It was too soon.

But the guy...

...he also won us over. He was a good kid...

...he was so kind-hearted. He loved your sister so much.

His name was Dogan.

Cicek?

Mom.

Wake up, mom.

Mom.

Cicek...

...is that you?

Yes, it's me.

Did you miss me?

Yes, my love.

Look at me carefully, then.

It's the last time you see me.

There are miseries that devastate us in life.

And there are miseries that makes us grow.

But I see it now...

...the most cruel place on earth is...

...home.

Murat!

Murat!

Murat, Cicek left. Go bring her back.

Where did she go? Did she tell you anything?

Go, bring Cicek back. Bring my daughter back.

All these years I have been living someone else's life.

Now...

...it's time for me to find out who I really am.

Where are you going?

I'm going to Istanbul to find my daughter.

How do you know she is in Istanbul?

Somebody saw her getting on a bus.

I'll come with you.

I'm going without you.

You will come back, right?

I don't have anyone but you.

I ruined my own daughter's life for you, Ulku.

So that you are not hurt.

You are leaving me, right?

No, I am not.

I will live in this house till my last day.

We will be living in this house together...

...just like two prisoners.

You will never be satisfied with me and you will torture me.

I will let this happen, Ulku.

Not because I love you...

...since I am your partner in this crime...

...I will serve my sentence like that, Ulku...

...by staying with you.

Personalized bracelets! Want one, Miss?

You want one? It's 6 liras... Will bring you good luck.

Come spit on my face if it doesn't.

Alright, then, give me one.

Good. Great. It's my first sale of the day.

What should I engrave, miss? Miss?

-Miss? -Huh?

What's your name?

-I don't know. -Huh?

I don't know.

Okay, it's 4 liras for you. Okay?

It'll be the first sale of the day.

Okay, as you wish. Would you want one, sir?

I couldn't do it Cicek.

I couldn't tell you that I was in love with your sister years ago.

It was love at first sight.

I love you Dogan.

‟A rose for each day I loved you.” ...I loved her madly...

...but I couldn't tell you that.

I couldn't, Cicek.

Forget me.

I couldn't tell you that she suddenly left me one day.

I stood on that bridge, Cicek.

I couldn't leave.

Till the day a job offer...

...came from a city I didn't know.

It was meant for me to find you there.

A flower that bloomed as if correcting a mistake...

Cicek Ince. Must be a joke, right?

You are the lawyer, right? You are the one to find her.

What are you talking about? It has been 20 years. I will go mad.

Everything is the same. Her hair, her looks.

Even the hairclip she wears is the same!

Her name is the same for God's sake!

I will go mad, alright, you... You got my e-mail, right?

Okay, send it to me, I am waiting. Come on.

Date of death: 1997 Time of death: 17:05 Cause of death: Cancer.

It seems that my cruel girlfriend...

...had passed away years ago.

She thought...

...I would be devastated if she died in my arms.

And you...

...an unpreventable rain drop...

...fresh as spring.

Knocked on my door for days.

I ran away from you...

...I tried.

I couldn't decide...

...if I were in love with a withered dream or with you.

I said to myself "Don't."

Even if you can forget about the past, there are years between the two of you...

...how can you forget about them?

I tried everything.

I left you.

Let me go!

But I came back I couldn´t forget you.

I was going to tell you...

-Cicek. -Don´t let me go.

...I am 40 years old Cicek.

The sins I have behind me, all those mistakes.

But I turned into a new man...

...with you.

I loved myself around you, Cicek.

I loved myself because you loved me...

...but I couldn´t tell you.

Hello Sevil, did she call?

Okay, thanks.

My destiny keeps on recovering itself.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello?

How many times can a heart be shattered?

I have no clue.

Just like that.

Twenty years aside, a lost soul...

...the cruel secret of a family...

...but then again this passionate love stabbed into my heart.

No way to pull it out, man.

What do you say?

Can we meet again someday?

I thought so, too.

I better finish my memorizing.

Okay, we write the lines, then.

-Alright, then, see you. -Okay, bye.

Bye bye.

I got your gift, sister.

I don't know if we'll meet again but...

...I carry him in my heart.

Cicek!

FOR BOTH OF US