Original subtitles

Dear Lewis, enclosed please find

one bus ticket and two silver dollars

for your trip to Michigan.

I'm really sorry about the loss of your parents.

Your mom was my sister, so, that makes you family.

And I'll do my best to make you feel right at home.

As Einstein said, "Life is like a bicycle.

"To stay balanced, you gotta keep moving forward."

And so will we.

I look forward to meeting ya.

Your uncle, Jonathan.

PS, sorry for the stain on the letter, that's chocolate.

Mom, Dad, are you there?

Am I gonna be okay?

"Cannot say."

Gonna buy Charlie a bike for his birthday.

- He's gonna love it! - Emma Jean! Bus is here!

Last stop, New Zebedee.

Are you coming?

Oh, golly.

I'm a little nervous.

- You want me to get that for you? - If you don't mind.

No problem, ma'am.

- Thank you so much. - There you go.

Have a great night.

Oh, come on. Don't kill yourself before I've had a chance to meet ya.

Lewis, I'm your uncle, Jonathan.

Are you wearing a robe?

It's a kimono.

Oh.

Here, let me help you with that.

Oh! Good Lord, what do you got in this thing? Encyclopedias?

Dictionaries.

Oh, you're serious.

I like new words. I think they're very pulchritudinous.

Well, welcome to New Zebedee.

Or should I say "salutations"? You can look that one up.

I know what "salutations" means.

Well, smart kid.

Uh, do you think that we're gonna be home soon?

Because the Captain Midnight show's almost on.

Uh... You don't have to worry about that, I don't have a TV.

But, I do have a big poker game tonight, if you wanna join. Do you play?

Uh, no, I'm 10.

Duly noted.

Huh. Here we are. Excuse me.

The Muggin Samoon.

Temperamental door handle. Hop in.

Here you go. Watch your tootsies.

All right, here we are.

You can get out here.

Here we go.

Home sweet home.

- Do you like Halloween? - Hmm?

Oh, no. I keep those up year round.

Mr. Barnavelt!

Come, darling. Yes, good puppy.

Mr. Barnavelt!

Ah, Mrs. Hanchett. Marmalade.

Is that a robe?

It's a kimono.

You've been playing your saxophone again.

Madame, not everyone can appreciate the intricacies

of a free-form jazz odyssey.

I don't care what you play.

You're playing at 3:00 in the morning.

So, I'm begging you! Who's this?

Oh, this is Lewis, my nephew. He'll be living with me.

You're responsible for keeping a human child alive?

That's right.

Good evening. This way, Lewis.

I'll try to keep it down around 3:00 a.m.

But, uh, them's my best jamming hours.

And, here we are.

Wow, you've...

That's a lot of clocks.

Well, what constitutes a lot is really a matter of personal taste.

For me, it's a perfect amount of clocks.

Oh, sorry. There's a deranged cuckoo in there.

Your ratchet wheel's shot, and the click spring's not far behind.

Hello. You're Lewis, I presume? How was your trip?

This old hag is my next-door neighbor, Mrs. Florence Zimmerman.

I'm relieved to see you didn't inherit your uncle's freakishly oversized head.

Huh. Says the woman who literally looks like a Q-tip.

Oh, look. The giant head is angry.

My God, did that withered purple skeleton just speak?

It's nice to meet you.

- Lewis, are you hungry? - Yes, please.

Florence, I'm gonna show Lewis to his room.

For once in your life, could you make yourself useful

and whip up a batch of those chocolate chip cookies?

And how would you like them, sir?

Stuffed down your throat, one by one?

Or crumbled up and shoved into your pants?

Ignore her, Lewis.

She thinks she's smarter than me because she's got more college degrees.

No, I think I'm smarter than you because I'm smarter than you.

Shh!

- But, Uncle Jonathan? - Mmm.

Don't I have to have dinner before I'm allowed to have cookies?

Well, why not just eat cookies for dinner? They're far more delicious.

I know. It's just, we had these house rules.

Well, not in this house.

There's no bedtime, bath time or meal time.

You can eat cookies till you throw up for all I care.

You'll see. Things are quite different here.

All mine?

All yours.

Although, why this is yours I have no idea.

You know it's about the complete opposite of real magic.

Um...

It's the last thing my parents gave to me before the...

The car crash.

I'm sorry.

Uh, here, yeah, take that back.

Um, I have a tissue around here somewhere.

Ah.

Here you go. No, hold on. Sorry.

I didn't mean to, to...

I didn't realize the ball was of emotional significance.

Almost there.

Feel free to grab any color tissue, they're all the same.

Hey, gorilla groin, are we playing poker, or am I playing solitaire?

Hold your horses, you scarecrow!

Right?

Calling that a poker face is an insult to faces.

Sore loser, frumpy.

Well, beat that.

He wins. Again.

You're hustling me. You've played before.

I haven't. I swear.

Beginner's luck, I guess?

Well, I'm gonna drown my sorrows in some hot cocoa. You want some?

- Yes, please. - Florence?

- Delighted. - Get your own.

Choke and die.

So, how long have you lived next door to Uncle Jonathan?

Oh, we've been friends forever. Ever since I came here.

Ran here, actually.

From Paris. After the war.

And, no. To answer that look you're giving me,

your uncle and I aren't anything kissy faced.

- Gross! - Ugh!

The word's "platonic."

That's right.

Look, your uncle drives me nuts. And he doesn't always smell so terrific,

but he's gotten me out of more tough scrapes than I care to mention.

You know, I've found that all one really needs in this world

is one good friend.

Oh, but I'm sure you've got lots.

Yeah. Tons.

All my friends are really great.

Good night, Mom. Good night, Dad.

I really miss you guys. Love you.

Uh, Uncle Jonathan?

You've got to go into the wall.

What do you mean I have to...

- Will you... - I am going in the wall!

- You did not go into the wall yesterday. - Yes, I did.

- I saw you. You did not go... - You...

Hello?

Lewis! Didn't see you there.

Big day. First day of school. How'd you sleep?

I...

Fine. How did you sleep?

Peachy. Like a baby. Like a big peachy baby.

Okay, off you go. Knock 'em dead.

I played it perfect, he suspects nothing.

Forty-third, New Zebedee Blue Ribbon Bake-Off...

Hold the door!

Clark, let's make a decision.

Herman.

Good hustle, Herman.

Thanks, Coach.

Woody.

We're even teams now.

Let's play ball.

Maybe next time, ankle-biter.

Coach.

- Come on, just pick him. - No, just pick him.

No.

Come on.

Fine. All right. You're with us. You can play, right?

Sure.

I'm open! I'm...

Goggles, get up! Come on, guys! Down the court! Down the court!

- You all right? - Bring it on!

You good?

All right, open your space up. Come on, guys, open the space!

Now, again. Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Pass the ball!

Goggles, what's going on?

Come on, let's go. Defense! Look alive. Look alive, guys.

Goggles, make the shot! Come on!

- Make the shot! - Goggles!

Not at me! The basket!

You gotta pass the ball, Goggles!

Goggles, Goggles, I'm open!

I'm sorry!

Come on, give it back to Owen! Give it back to Lewis!

Hey, guard your guys, guard your guys! Let's go!

- Shoot! Shoot! - Shoot! Shoot!

- Nice shot, Speedy. - Thanks, Coach.

Attention, students.

The honor class club is meeting in the library today, after school.

There he is. Star forward for the Minneapolis Lakers.

- How you doin', buddy? - I'm good.

A vote for Tarby Corrigan is a vote for pop in the drinking fountains.

- Thank you. - Hey! A vote for Tarby Corrigan

is a vote for pop in the drinking fountains!

Please. How is he gonna carbonate the drinking fountains?

Whoa.

Come on! Hit it!

Don't just stand there. Can you pitch?

Uh, no, not very well.

I'll take what I can get. Come toss me one.

Come on.

What are you doing here? Where are all your friends?

Football practice.

Can't play. Can't do anything.

My butt is just warming the bench.

So, you're new in town. Where do you live?

Kind of this big, old place on the end of High Street.

Wait.

You live in the slaughter house?

I'm sorry. The what?

Some old guy died there. Now it's haunted.

Well, everyone says so.

Have you seen anything creepy?

No. Well...

Last night I thought I heard something, but it wasn't anything.

- It was just my uncle. - What was he doing?

I don't know, just sort of wandering around.

I think he was looking for something.

Maybe he was looking for an ax?

It's his house.

Why wouldn't he know where his own ax is?

Maybe he hid it from the police after the last murder.

Look, I'm just trying to help us both out.

You can't vote for me if you don't have arms.

Come on.

Lewis.

Lewis?

Lewis.

Sweetheart.

Hey, kiddo. I missed you so much.

I miss you too, Mom. A lot.

Your dad and I, we'd give anything to be with you again.

You know that, right?

So? How are you making out?

How do you like Uncle Jonathan?

He seems nice. Just...

What?

Hey! It's okay. You can tell me.

This house is scary, and old, and scary. And there's all these clocks.

And I see weird stuff out of the corner of my eye and...

I feel like...

I almost feel like that Uncle Jonathan's hiding something.

That's because he is.

Hiding something.

From you.

I'm sorry, sweetheart,

but you're in danger.

Danger?

What danger? What do you mean?

You're gonna have to be brave.

But I... Mom, this is me. I'm not brave.

First you get the book, then you get the key.

Book? Key? What are you talking about?

Do you hear the ticking?

Brave.

Brave. Brave.

Come out, come out, wherever you are.

You can't hide forever.

Help!

Help! Let me out! Help! Please!

Help me! Let me out!

It's me.

Down boy! I said, down.

Go. Go on. Go to your room. Go on. Get.

I'm sorry you had to see that.

No. No. No. Houses don't attack you.

And if they do attack, you're definitely not supposed to say,

"Sorry you had to see that."

Is this place haunted? Are you gonna ax murder me?

What? No.

You're gonna ax murder me, aren't you?

I'm not gonna ax murder you.

Then what is going on?

Well, one thing's for sure. The house likes you.

Houses don't like anything. They're houses.

Do you know what a warlock is, Lewis?

It's...

A boy witch.

Well...

I think they're a little more than boy witches.

"Warlock. Noun. A man who practices magic."

A boy witch.

Are you saying that...

You're a warlock?

Would it scare you if I was?

Well, are you a good warlock or a bad one?

Ah. Depends on what you mean by "bad."

I'm nice, but not that good.

Just a parlor magician, really.

But, uh, Mrs. Zimmerman...

Now, she's nice and good. Damn good.

Got a doctor of magic quorum degree from the University of G�ttingen.

Why are you always wandering around at night?

What's that ticking in the walls?

You've heard that?

This house used to be owned by another warlock.

Isaac Izard and his wife, Selena.

He, uh...

Passed away.

And left a magic clock in the walls.

Why?

Because he's a terrible...

Joker.

Practical joker.

Put a clock in the walls to drive me nuts.

I try to drown it out with all those other clocks,

but it doesn't really work.

So, at night I go around the house and search for the damn thing.

With an ax?

Sometimes I get over-enthused. I'll admit that.

Do you have to be born a boy wi...

A warlock?

No. Anyone can learn. They study. Practice hard enough.

- Can I learn? - No.

But you just said anyone.

Grown-up anyone. There's charts, and hieroglyphs,

and stuff that would stump a Harvard professor.

- And I don't have time to teach a... - Please?

Please. Please teach me.

Please. Please. Please. Please. Please.

Okay! Have it your way.

Let me know when you've read all those.

Just for a start.

- Jack-o'- lanterns. - They scare away evil.

And iron does too. Well, it repels evil, like bug spray.

And that is why we have iron horseshoes.

And that's why cemetery gates are made of iron.

And how does one become a full-fledged warlock?

You have to defeat an evil spirit by using your own magic.

That is absolutely right.

What smells of rancid sulfur?

Bad kitty!

Am I gonna have to defeat an evil spirit one day?

Oh, don't worry. Not for a long, long time. You're perfectly safe.

That's safe?

As long as it's fed.

Used to be Florence's pet garter snake, William Snakespeare.

She tried to turn it purple, the spell backfired.

And, between you and me, most of her spells backfire these days.

Why?

Ah, you'll have to ask her that one yourself.

What's all that?

Charms, hexes, wards, spells.

Evil can't come within 20 feet of that cabinet, much less open it.

What's in it?

You know how I said there were no rules?

Actually, there's one rule.

Don't open that cabinet. Ever.

Or I'll toss you out on your ear, you understand?

This is pretty much the only thing I'm serious about,

so I need to hear you say it.

I understand.

Isaac!

Isaac!

Isaac!

Isaac, don't do this!

Please! Isaac!

Isaac! Please!

Isaac.

It's the beginning...

And the end.

The alpha...

And the omega.

Do you hear the ticking?

Well, I have scoured the crawl space.

I found a dead mouse, but no clock.

You think reading that for the millionth time will turn up something new?

No, not really.

So, you've told Lewis everything?

Well, not everything.

I think you should.

Isaac may be dead, but he is still dangerous.

If Lewis knew the truth...

Well, we don't know the truth. We don't know where the clock is,

or what it does, except something horrible.

No, we gotta do the responsible thing.

Lie to the kid.

I can't believe you did that.

- Hey, Lewis. - Hmm?

Why do you wear those goggles?

Captain Midnight wears a pair just like these.

You ever seen his show? He's indomitable.

He's what?

Indomitable. Adjective. Impossible to defeat.

That's what they call him. The indomitable Captain Midnight.

I just think it might be easier for you, if you lost the goggles.

Acted a little more, you know,

normal.

You think?

I'm just telling you as a friend.

Right. Friends. We're friends.

That'd be swell.

Lewis!

- We could play jacks. - I love jacks, yeah.

Lewis!

Can't you see me? Over here, right here!

Lewis! It's your uncle, Johnny!

I should go.

Probably.

Come on, let's go! Get in. Where's your goggles?

What are you doing here?

Oh, we gotta get some supplies.

Got a harvest moon tonight, it's perfect.

Perfect for what?

For your first big-time, serious spell.

Should I punch it? You won't believe what this thing can do.

Can we just go, please?

Well, doggone, that moon'll be gone next week

with the lunar eclipse comin'.

Till then, let's keep on rocking.

"From Saturn to the sun, from the beast to noble one,

"like the alchemists of old,

"turn this dross lead into gold!"

Wow. That was really, really...

- Terrible. I mean, just awful. - Hey!

You're reading it like it's a Buick manual.

It's not what you say, Lewis,

it's how you say it.

You're the only you in the whole universe.

That makes your style of magic just crazy unique.

One in a hundred million kajillion.

So, I can give you the right books, teach you the right spells,

but that last 1%, that's up to you.

So, how do I find my magic style? Or whatever it is.

It's in there somewhere. You just have to quiet down and listen.

Now it looks like you're pooping.

Well, I don't know! This all feels weird.

What's wrong with weird?

Weird's like the nuts in my cookies,

it's the nuts that make things interesting.

Let me show you what a little weird can do.

You be a dear? Fetch a knife and stab me in the ears.

Well, for a boy who loves words, you're sure at a loss for them.

Uncle Jonathan, you're way more than just a parlor magician.

Have a look around.

Finally. A smile.

I was starting to think you were incapable.

Bad kitty!

You use the litter box!

All right. I'm going to bed.

You're welcome to stay up as long as you like, of course.

- Uncle Jonathan? - Hmm?

Tonight, that was the most splendor...

Splendortast...

Splendorific.

I don't know the word yet, but thank you.

I just wish that I met you a long time ago.

Yeah, me, too.

Good night.

Why didn't I?

How come you left home?

Well...

Truth is, my father, your grandpa,

didn't like magic.

And he sure didn't like me messing around with it.

We fought about it and...

And we fought some more, until finally I just took off.

I was the black swan of the family.

It's a black sheep.

Pretty sure it's "swan."

Is that why you didn't go to Mom and Dad's funeral?

I don't really think she would've wanted me there.

I don't know. She missed you.

She talked about you all the time.

Good night.

Uncle Jonathan.

I think...

I think that I might be a black swan, too.

Well, then I guess we're a flock of swans.

A bevy.

It's called a bevy of swans.

Right.

Guys! I'm floating!

- Wait, wait. - Oh. Uh, just...

- I don't know! - Levitaius dominungus!

- Put me? Chair! Chair! Guys! - Just. No, I...

- No, no, that's not the right... - Fiddlesticks.

Just get the...

Just one. Just...

Come on!

- The bell's gonna ring. - Hurry up!

- Hurry up. - Move it.

- Mmm... Mmm! - Seriously, are you almost done?

Please, hurry up!

Water to the face at a very high-speed pace.

Shut up! Shut up! Stop laughing! It's not funny!

You can control the energy if you focus and channel it.

- Won't it kill me? - Not if you focus.

Then you are the conductor. Watch.

Show me what you got.

Oh, Chair!

Sorry, Chair!

Not bad.

Three gongs, Florence. Last time it was four, now it's three.

What happens when it gets down to one?

We'll hide in the basement like sensible people.

Okay, this is no time for jokes. Things have changed.

I know.

Lewis.

What happens if he's here when it goes off?

He won't be. Because we are going to find it.

We just have to hold it together.

Okay.

I'm sorry.

Let me get some butter.

Plaid button-down, please.

And will the indomitable Captain Midnight

defeat the dastardly Comrade Ivan?

Maybe later, okay?

Come on! I'm gonna be late!

- See ya! - Toodles.

I'm getting out of here.

No, stop! You ain't going anywhere.

I foolishly walked into a trap.

- Why, you double-crossing... - Stay.

I'll have your life for this.

Yes!

Oop. Chair.

And the winner of the fourth grade class president election is...

Tarby Corrigan!

Thank you.

Tarby. Excuse me.

Tarby! Congratulations, Tarby.

Thanks, Lewis.

If you want, I can bring some cookies tomorrow and celebrate.

Yeah, Tarby. Go have a cookie picnic here with the little runt.

Woody!

Just...

I'll catch up later.

Hey, you got your cast off. Do you wanna go hit some balls?

Sorry. The boys and me...

We're gonna explore Wilder Creek.

Maybe another time.

I've got something way better than that.

Oh, yeah?

My house.

Everyone's wrong, you know. It's not haunted.

It's magic.

Magic?

Magic's not real.

It is real.

My uncle.

He's a warlock. That's a boy witch, and...

I can teach you spells to throw a curveball,

or hit a home run, or throw a touchdown every single time.

Cross my heart. You can see for yourself.

So where is it already, you evil, old coot?

The arm.

Blasted pigeons.

Got you.

I'll find you that curveball spell. Just give me a sec.

Whoa, what's in there?

Oh, um...

We're not allowed to open it.

Oh, yeah? Why not?

I don't know, but it's my uncle's only rule.

Besides, it's locked.

No. It's not.

Tarby, I mean it. We can't.

Don't be such a scaredy-cat.

Maybe it's the spell you're looking for.

No!

What's "necromancy"?

Noun. The practice of communicating with the dead or raising them to life!

Let's put it back.

Raising the dead?

Now, that would be a trick.

Put it back!

- We have to put it back right now! - Stop! Ow.

Fine! None of it's real anyways.

It's all just weird.

You're just weird.

Was that the Corrigan boy?

- He was just leaving. - What were you two doing?

Nothing.

Uncle Jonathan, do you wanna play ball with me?

I can't right now. There's something I need to look into.

Later, okay?

Okay.

Isaac hid the room with a hex so no one would find these,

but I can't make heads or tails of this.

I know about every magic language there is.

The Alberti Cipher, the Enochian Glyphs, but this...

Really?

Well, at least I lived to see the purple pachyderm get stumped.

I don't know how much longer any of us will be living, weird beard.

- Cranky old crone. - Mush brush.

- Hag face. - Oh, go braid your back hair.

I'd give you a nasty look, but you've already got one.

Okay, okay, you old yeti. Now, look.

What does this mean to you?

The omega.

Isaac talked about it when he died.

The last letter of the Greek alphabet.

And in early Christianity...

It means Judgment Day.

You all right, kiddo?

I'm okay.

You always were a lousy liar.

You're lonely, huh?

I just wish Jonathan wasn't so busy.

I wish he could spend more time with you.

It's okay.

What about Tarby?

- Tarby hates me. - Oh.

You can fix that. Easy.

Just show him some real magic.

I can't do any real magic.

Yes, you can.

With the book, silly. The one I told you to find.

Well, you found it, didn't you?

Book?

You mean the necromancy book in the library?

Uncle Jonathan told me never to even touch it.

Oh, he won't mind. He's too busy, anyways.

Take the book.

Show Tarby a real trick.

He's gonna be your friend again. I know it.

Tarby's a jerk, you know?

He runs for president every year and he's always nice until the election.

After that,

he goes back to being, him.

You don't need him.

We could go look for spiders.

If you want.

Just leave me alone, okay?

Tarby!

Okay. You wanna see some real magic?

I'll show you.

Yeah? You gonna saw a lady in half?

I'm gonna raise the dead.

You're a liar. No one can raise the dead.

Watch me.

Unless...

Unless you're scared.

You need a babysitter? Fine.

But this whole thing is just gonna be a big waste of time.

When?

Tarby!

Tarby?

Boo!

Tarby, that's not funny!

It is from here.

Well, come on, smart guy.

Who are we gonna wake up?

How about this one?

The lamb means that it's a kid's grave, and I don't wanna raise up a kid.

It's creepy that you know that.

This way, I think.

Nice trick with the book, Lewis. I know that's you.

No, it's not.

Is that it?

Yeah, I think so.

Well, come on.

Okay.

"For thou who sleeps in stone and clay,

"heed this call, rise up and obey.

"Trek on through the mortal door, assemble flesh and walk once more."

So, what now?

That's it. That's all it says.

See, told you all this was a huge...

Tarby?

Tarby!

Could you put those back, please?

He's coming home.

He's free. He's back!

He's coming home. He's awake. He's back! He's coming home.

He's coming home. He's awake! He's back!

He's coming home. He's coming home.

That's not creepy.

Who'd be crazy enough to bring Isaac Izard back?

Someone suicidal.

The house knows he's back. Can you feel that?

Like a dog with rabies. Knows his master's coming home.

I'm gonna need your help on this one, Florence.

My magic won't be enough. I'm barely qualified as it is.

I can't. I'll just mess it up.

- I can't do this alone. - We won't have to. Lewis.

- What about Lewis? - He's stronger than you know.

And one and a half warlocks is better than nothing. Just tell him the truth.

No. He's just a boy. You're the smartest witch I've ever known.

You can cast spells I can't even pronounce.

I said I can't.

I can't.

I'm sorry.

Look, Isaac is coming back and we can't let him get inside.

Well, if your magic is off-limits, then what's the plan?

I can still swing a hammer.

These are crazy people, Marmalade. Crazy people.

Do you think these are enough to keep Isaac out?

Oh, yes. Maybe.

I'm gonna get some more.

Uncle Jonathan?

Don't come up! I'm... I'm coming down.

Listen, I need to talk to you.

Not a great time, Lewis. I'm working on a heavy-duty spell.

I want you to stay at Mrs. Z's for a few days.

Come on. I see the horseshoes. I know something's wrong.

What are you talking about? Everything's fine.

No. It's not.

You're right, Lewis. Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.

- Florence... - He's got eyes, Jonathan.

It's our friend, Isaac Izard. Except he's not our friend.

He's very wicked, very powerful.

And I'm afraid he's back from the great beyond.

Yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to...

And when we find out who's raised him from the dead,

they are going to be sorry. Very sorry.

Oh.

Mmm, yeah, they... They sure will.

Look, the truth is, it's not safe for you here.

At least, not now.

So, go next door with Florence, okay? Everything's gonna be fine.

Maybe just once more around the block...

Sure, no problem.

Come on.

Mrs. Zimmerman?

Uh, I'm sorry, dear?

What are you doing?

I'm just trying...

Nothing.

Wait.

Isaac and Uncle Jonathan used to perform together?

They did everything together.

They were best friends.

They were?

Once.

Isaac was an orphan. And Jonathan, a runaway.

Neither of them had family.

All they had was magic.

And each other.

Then, Isaac went away to war.

He was fighting in Germany when he went MIA.

Months passed.

Then, suddenly, Isaac came back home.

But it wasn't the same Isaac.

He was different.

And angry.

And more powerful than any warlock had the right to be.

How? What happened to him?

We don't know. All he said was, he was lost in the Black Forest.

Now, that is a very old place with very old magic.

It's where the Brothers Grimm wrote their histories.

You mean their fairy-tales?

Now, we think that Isaac met a dark warlock in those woods.

A teacher who gave him some terrifying, forbidden books.

One of which is so dangerous

that your uncle keeps it locked up in his cabinet.

Then, Isaac abandoned poor Jonathan.

No explanation. And he found himself a witch. Selena.

So spiteful and mean, he married her.

And they locked themselves away in the house.

Until one night last year,

Isaac performed a blood magic ritual that killed him.

What was the ritual for?

To make a key. A clock key of human bone.

We think his wife's bones.

We think Isaac killed Selena to make it.

Uncle Jonathan said that you were a really good witch. Even better than him.

I was.

Once.

My magic was the toast of Paris.

You should've seen me before the war.

I melted Salvador Dali's watch one time, right off his wrist.

Then why can't you help us?

You know how magic comes from the inside?

Well, I got hurt one time.

Pretty badly.

And even though my outsides got better, my insides never did.

And so, now, every time I try to work any real magic,

it just comes out broken.

Now,

there's very few problems in the world that can't, at least, be helped

by a good chocolate chip cookie.

Tarby. Tarby!

Not now, Lewis, I'm late for gym.

- No, now. We gotta talk now! - What?

- Let go! - Where do you think you're going, huh?

The other night, what we did in the cemetery...

We did something awful. My uncle's in trouble. We all are, and...

See, there's this clock...

Lewis! Just stop. Nothing happened in that cemetery.

Look, I get it, you're scared. I am, too. We're the...

Woody!

Tarby, get off me!

- Come on, let's get out of here. - Let's go!

- Good morning, Miss Fisher. - Woody.

I'm not scared.

And if you tell anyone I was there, I'll break both your arms.

You're just a weirdo.

"Indomitable."

Uncle Jonathan? You in here?

No way.

Help me! Help, please! Help!

Uncle Jonathan! Uncle Jonathan! Help! Help me, please!

Come on. Come on. Let's go, let's go, let's go.

Get those papers!

You all right?

What are you doing here? I told you it's not safe!

I was being indomitable.

I suppose you were, weren't you?

You can't do this alone. You need help, and I can help you!

No, you can't.

Actually, I can. 'Cause I know how to read this.

But I'm gonna need some Ovaltine.

Wait. I don't understand. You've seen this code before?

Yes. Comrade Ivan uses one just like it to send commands to his Red Brigade.

"Comrade" who?

Comrade Ivan from the TV show.

But Captain Midnight always stops him and decodes it

with, uh...

This! The Captain Midnight secret decoder pin.

I don't believe it.

I don't believe it!

Three Ovaltine shakes, please.

"With this clock, Selena and I shall wipe this filthy world clean."

It's a doomsday clock.

In a way, it destroys everything.

But not by ending the world, but sending it back to the beginning.

If the planet is one giant clock, then this damn thing is the winder.

He's winding it back to the very beginning of time!

So, everything goes in reverse. We grow younger and younger

until we vanish. Until there's no one left.

I knew Isaac was strong, but

this goes beyond anything I ever thought he was capable of.

When's it happen?

"When night's at its blackest."

The total lunar eclipse. Tonight! All those moons painted in my bedroom.

What if Isaac was studying them and waiting for the right moment?

That's what the gongs are counting down to.

We'll take the gumballs, too.

Isaac's been here.

Isaac pulled all the horseshoes off?

Burned 'em off. One by one.

Like ants with a magnifying glass.

Just how powerful is he now?

Death's been good to him. Wait here.

Chair! It's okay. It's okay. I'm here. I'm here to help.

Here, it's okay. It's okay. You're okay.

He's torn the place to pieces.

He must have been looking for something.

And I think I know what.

Well, what are we waiting for? Let's get rid of it.

Uh, shouldn't this be melting right now?

Too much John the Conqueror root.

No. Not enough Goofer Dust.

Oh.

Grains of paradise.

We don't have any Grains of Paradise.

You know what? Maybe a pinch of motherwort.

- Uncle Jonathan. - What about some Lotus root?

Yeah, yeah. More Lotus root.

- Uncle Jonathan. - Hmm?

This is my fault.

Lewis, you helped us. You're the one who decoded the blueprints.

No.

I mean, I'm the one who brought Isaac back.

Lewis?

What are you talking about?

I opened the cabinet. I used your book.

I'm so, so, so sorry.

You couldn't have. You don't know enough magic to pull off a spell like that.

I just followed the directions.

I bled onto the book.

Oh, Lewis.

Blood magic?

That was my one rule.

I know. I'm sorry.

- And you broke it? - I didn't mean to.

So, you opened a forbidden cabinet,

and performed an unholy ritual, on accident?

- Jonathan... - I didn't know Isaac was evil.

You never told me.

Oh, so this is my fault?

I didn't say that.

Then, what are you saying?

What the hell were you thinking?

I just wanted Tarby to be my friend again!

And I want my parents back!

And I figured if it worked here,

I could go home and try it on them.

I just want my mom!

I'm sorry.

It was a mistake.

You coming here.

Now, hold on, Jonathan.

No! No, please! Please. I'll make it up to you. Please.

No. This is no place for a kid.

It's not safe for you here. I was wrong to ever think that it was.

But we're a bevy of swans!

I'm sorry.

You stay here. Let me talk to him.

I know I've got a Malleus Maleficarum around here somewhere.

Should help with the key.

Go ahead, yell at me, call me some names.

No names.

Not this time.

Jonathan,

that little boy needs you.

But what he did...

He's a child.

Children make mistakes. They get in trouble.

That's why they're children.

No, this is not swiping a comic book, Florence. This is...

I don't have a choice here.

Of course you do.

You could stick it out!

No, no, when the going gets tough, you get going, right for the exit.

Like how you ran away from your family.

Ran away? My dad threw me out!

And what about your little sister?

She'd looked up to you. She needed you, and now she's gone.

And you're going to abandon her only child.

Look, I don't know how to take care of a kid.

How to talk to him, how to keep him safe. Especially now! I'm just...

You're scared.

Yes, all right? I'm scared for Lewis! Scared he'll get hurt!

Well, guess what, genius?

That is the whole point.

You having a child means being scared for them 24/7

and doing it anyway.

It's the whole damn job description.

And I would give everything to have that job again.

To have my little girl back, to...

You know what?

I do have a name for you.

Jonathan Barnavelt, you're a coward!

Mrs. Hanchett! Mrs. Hanchett!

- Lewis. - He's free! We gotta go now!

Well, who, what are we talking about?

There is someone in your house.

- Please. Hurry! - Who?

- Come on. - Take Marmalade. Wait.

Come on. Hurry, please! We don't care about the door.

What? Lewis, it's cold.

- He's upstairs. I saw him! - Oh, my God, it's a step.

He's in your house right now!

- Lewis! Lewis! - Please! Hurry.

- Lewis, wait! Hold on. It's slippery. - Hurry. Come on.

Please hurry, Mrs. Hanchett! Please!

Lewis, it's slippery. Lewis, stop!

You're not making any sense. What bad man?

His name is Isaac. Isaac Izard.

Isaac Izard? Lewis, he's dead. He died last year.

Stay here.

Uncle Jonathan! Mrs. Zimmerman!

It's locked.

It must be Isaac. Out of the way.

Mrs. Hanchett, get away from the door.

Don't be ridiculous.

No!

Hello, Lewis.

Stay away from her.

Why should I stay away from my beautiful wife?

You're Selena Izard?

In the flesh.

Uncle Jonathan!

Lewis!

But, you died.

Whoever said I died?

- Isaac! - Isaac!

Isaac!

- Isaac! - Isaac!

No!

Is that bone?

Human.

He killed her to make some sort of key.

I thought it was made from...

Not my bone, no.

That was a chunk from the real Mrs. Hanchett.

Lovely woman.

That is, before I killed her and took her place.

My wife, she has a talent for disguises.

I learn from the best.

Come give your mommy a kiss.

You.

It was you in my dreams.

I couldn't get near that locked cabinet. The charms were too strong.

But you, you could get that nasty, old book for me.

Raise Isaac for me. You could do everything I wanted.

And now,

you are going to get us that clock key.

No, no, not that, not there.

Whoa, whoa!

Whew!

Hmm.

Well, come on.

Now you're just showing off.

Lewis!

- Lewis! - Lewis, where are you?

- Isaac took him. - Yes, but where?

I think I know.

- Uncle Jonathan! - Lewis!

- Mrs. Zimmerman, I'm over here. - We're coming.

I'm over here!

Uncle Jonathan, over here!

No, here! No, over here! Help me.

Barnavelt and Izard, masters of prestidigitation,

beloved by the crowned heads of Europe, together again.

I'm sure you'll remember my next trick.

- No! - No.

- Uncle Jonathan! - Isaac, don't do this!

I like the boy.

An orphan with a love for Captain Midnight?

Mmm, warms my dead heart.

Please don't make me butcher him.

Give me the key.

You don't have to hurt anyone. Just tell us, where is the clock

The clock is under a witch's hex.

You'll never find it. This is over.

Isaac, please.

There must be some part of you that doesn't want this,

that isn't completely dead.

I was dead long before I died.

We know you went through something awful during the war, we all did!

Oh, on the contrary.

It's where I met my teacher.

My unit had been caught in an ambush.

Everyone slaughtered.

I'd been left for dead.

I stumbled through the Black Forest for days.

I chanted every spell I knew, with one thought only.

"Make me powerful enough to end this!"

To erase the horrors I had witnessed.

When I opened my eyes,

I saw him.

He offered me something to drink.

For a small price, of course.

Suddenly, I had it.

The blueprints for the clock...

...in my mind.

Clear as day.

That wasn't a warlock.

It wasn't even a human. It was a demon, you reckless idiot!

You summoned a demon!

Yes! Yes.

"Azazel," to be exact. The fourth prince of Hell.

Oh, he gave me a wonderful gift.

The greatest magic trick ever.

I'm going to make people disappear.

Spin the world back, until the dawn of time.

All that will be left...

Selena and I.

But if you go back to the beginning,

history, humans, it will all just start over again.

No.

I'll make sure people are never born this time,

with the help of a friend.

Lewis' parents won't die in that awful crash.

Your husband and sweet little girl won't be killed.

They'll never have existed.

No people, no war.

Now, Jonathan,

the key.

Florence,

now would be a good time for a little magic.

Of all people, Florence, I thought you'd want this.

I know what losing your family did to you.

You're too sad and broken to work any real magic.

Maybe I was.

But now,

I'm indomitable.

Marmalade! Now!

Where are they?

They're gone.

Mind your step. There's a tongue.

- There's a big tongue. - I've got it.

So

creepy.

Time for this little boy to go.

Uncle Jonathan! Uncle Jonathan!

Be careful!

Lewis! Don't freak them out!

Unhand me! Let me go! Oh, no! Put me down! Stop! Put me down!

Mommy. Mommy.

Why won't you talk to me? Why won't you talk to me?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- Wait, wait. Jonathan! - Mrs. Zimmerman!

Let me go! Let go of me!

Jonathan!

Son of a...

- Lewis. You okay? - I'm okay.

Would you look at that?

Okay, let's get back in there.

What? With those creepy, metal monsters inside?

They'll tear us to shreds!

Florence, we have to find Isaac and Selena.

We don't know where in the house they are.

No. But if we wait around, we know something bad will happen.

You heard Isaac. He's using the witch's hex!

I understand that. So, should we just sit around and try to figure out the hex?

- We don't have time! - No. We need a plan!

Guys!

Oh, my giddy aunt.

Don't worry, their teeth are made of pumpkin,

they can't really hurt us.

Okay, I made that up.

It's some kind of ungodly adhesive!

I'm stuck!

Me, too!

You know, I didn't think this is how I was gonna die.

Look! Mrs. Zimmerman, grab my shirt!

I've got you!

- Just chop. Chop, chop! - Lewis! Hurry!

God, I hate pumpkins.

Did you see that, Florence?

I exploded it with a psychic energy blast! It worked!

Yes, Jonathan, we're all very proud of you!

Did you see that I now have the power?

Yes, I understand. Gold star.

Uncle Jonathan. Uncle Jonathan, it's me, please wake up!

- Jonathan. Jonathan, you've got to get up! - Uncle Jonathan.

You've got to get up right now!

What are you looking at, you shriveled old prune?

I'm looking at you, you dumb baby orangutan.

Aw, Lewis.

Oh, Florence, you missed a spot.

Lewis. I'm sorry, Lewis. I'm sorry about everything.

It's okay. Me, too.

Don't get me wrong, uh, this is lovely,

but there's only 18 minutes to the eclipse.

And they've got the key.

How do we find the clock?

We can't.

It's got a witch's hex on it.

And that means it's hidden from every witch or warlock,

no matter how powerful.

Not even Florence could find it.

There must be something we're not thinking of.

Maybe I could find it.

I'm not a witch or warlock.

Well, not yet anyways, but

maybe if I tried some magic?

Would that work?

Okay. I'm ready.

Lewis, I don't know about that eight ball.

Hey, this is my magic. Not yours.

Let's go.

Locate. Verb.

To discover the exact place and position of.

Secret! Adjective! Something that is kept unknown or unseen!

Clock! Noun. A mechanical device, used for measuring time!

A time-piece! A horologe!

Wow. He is weird.

Isn't he, though?

Locate the secret clock.

Locate the secret clock!

Please, Mom and Dad.

Tell me where the clock is. Please.

"Under the boiler."

Lewis, you genius!

Shall we?

Trick or treat!

- Mrs. Zimmerman? - Hmm?

What is that?

Jonathan. Open the door.

Working on it.

Jonathan?

Jonathan!

That's not helping!

Lewis. Crack it open.

Even in death, so creepy.

Florence, I really have to pee.

Not the time, Jonathan.

Snakespeare!

- Mrs. Zimmerman! - Florence!

Go! Go!

It's okay, she knows how to handle Snakespeare. Come here. Quickly.

Isaac!

Stop!

Please. I taught you everything you know, Jonathan.

I didn't teach you everything I know.

My darling.

No!

- Wait there, Lewis! - No, I have to come with you.

No! There may be traps. I have protection.

I feel something. I've got it!

Uncle Jonathan!

Uncle Jonathan? Uncle Jonathan!

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay. It's me. Lewis, your nephew.

Lewis! Come with us to the turret. It's a special turret. It'll protect us.

I like you, Lewis. I like being your mom.

Forget about your uncle. Soon he'll be gone...

...like everyone else.

Uncle Jonathan? Uncle Jonathan!

Hey! I got you.

What?

Mom. Dad. What should I do?

"Say goodbye"?

Say goodbye? I don't get it. What do you mean?

- Okay. Goodbye, guys. - I love you.

Look, my darling. It's beginning.

The sands of time are shifting.

Quickly!

Something is wrong!

What is it?

Help me!

I want to show you what a little weird can do.

What?

Uncle Jonathan.

I'm back.

You did it. You stopped the clock!

Do not tell Florence about the baby body.

She'll never let me live it down.

- I won't. - You promise?

I swear. No baby body.

- Warlock secret? - Never happened.

You're the best. You did it. Toss me my trousers.

Not a word to Florence. I'm serious.

Well, well, well. Look what the cat threw up.

Whew!

Oh, you fixed Snakespeare!

Well, you stopped the clock.

Nah, I just wet my pants. Literally. Lewis stopped the clock.

Lewis.

You are indomitable.

Mrs. Zimmerman, I'm sorry you lost your family.

I'm sorry you lost yours.

But maybe would you wanna be a black swan with us?

Can I be a purple one?

Deal.

I would like that very much.

I don't want the creepy little runt.

Think I want him?

You know what, fellas?

I don't really wanna play anyways.

Ball to the face at a very high-speed pace.

Lucky shot.

We want Lewis on our team.

No. We want him!

No, Lewis, come on! Come on! Lewis, come on!

- Rose Rita, right? - Mmm-hmm.

Can I see your bug book?

I've seen you with your dictionary.

You know the word is "insect."

But sure.

Wow. You drew these? These are really good.

You look like an insect.

I mean that as the highest compliment.

That's how I take it.

I'm so excited. Like it's so...

Oh, yeah.

- Bye! - Bye.

Who was that?

Rose Rita Pottinger. She's a friend.

She is? Is it kissy-faced?

No, platonic.

Look at him playing it cool.

James Dean, all of a sudden.

Uncle Jonathan, punch it.

Let's see what this baby can do.

- Hi. We're home. Hello. - Aw.

- You ready? - Oh, yeah.

Stay.

You know, Jonathan, you drive like an old grandma.

Oh, that's funny, you look like one.

Guys, stop! You're both super-old.

Ha-ha! Nice one, Lewis.

Gold star.

Bad kitty! Use the litter box!