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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:20,344 --> 00:00:23,896 *ROOM 104* Season 02 Episode 12 2 00:00:23,973 --> 00:00:27,388 *ROOM 104* Episode Title: "Josie & Me" 3 00:00:27,635 --> 00:00:30,263 Sync corrections by srjanapala 4 00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:08,547 OK, I'm back. 5 00:01:09,621 --> 00:01:11,371 I can tell you're not really working, bitch. 6 00:01:11,449 --> 00:01:13,033 I know about iMessage for the computer. 7 00:01:13,098 --> 00:01:16,446 That's how I failed to absorb the last month of my gov seminar. 8 00:01:17,254 --> 00:01:18,688 Was that what you were wearing? 9 00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:20,836 I just got out of my stats midterm. 10 00:01:21,270 --> 00:01:23,602 - Was that relevant? - I don't know, bitch. 11 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:26,681 Was it relevant? This is the 500th time you've made me do this. 12 00:01:26,746 --> 00:01:29,306 Maybe that's the detail that finally makes sense to you. 13 00:01:29,371 --> 00:01:32,275 Oh, also, I broke my pencil lead in the exam, 14 00:01:32,340 --> 00:01:34,431 and I had to get get a refill, so I had to click it 15 00:01:34,496 --> 00:01:36,244 really loudly for like 30 seconds, 16 00:01:36,309 --> 00:01:38,555 and that stress might have damaged my psyche. 17 00:01:38,620 --> 00:01:40,721 Also, I had a chicken Caesar salad for dinner. 18 00:01:40,786 --> 00:01:42,971 I couldn't quite make out the expiration date on the dressing, 19 00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,580 so I may be battling the early stages of E. coli. 20 00:01:45,645 --> 00:01:46,881 Is that relevant? 21 00:01:46,946 --> 00:01:49,197 Oh my God! I forgot what an asshole I was. 22 00:01:49,262 --> 00:01:50,937 No stone I'm just trying to make sure that 23 00:01:51,002 --> 00:01:53,517 is left unturned for the great wise elder. 24 00:01:53,582 --> 00:01:56,285 The sooner you get this done, the sooner you can get on with your life. 25 00:01:56,363 --> 00:01:57,654 I'm really shitting my pants 26 00:01:57,719 --> 00:01:59,377 in anticipation of getting here. 27 00:01:59,908 --> 00:02:02,295 Well, you should, because you're a writer now. 28 00:02:02,479 --> 00:02:05,311 A playwright. There. I'll tell you that much. 29 00:02:05,531 --> 00:02:08,348 Sick! Does that mean I don't have to go to law school? 30 00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:10,804 Well, you might, if you don't crack this story 31 00:02:10,869 --> 00:02:13,640 and your agent drops you and you get blacklisted from the entire industry, 32 00:02:13,705 --> 00:02:16,263 which is why I actually need you to work with me right now. 33 00:02:16,328 --> 00:02:17,369 OK? 34 00:02:18,340 --> 00:02:19,928 I'm sorry, um... 35 00:02:20,822 --> 00:02:22,875 I'm just trying to figure this out, 36 00:02:22,940 --> 00:02:24,404 and I'm missing something. 37 00:02:25,752 --> 00:02:28,086 OK, well, for the record, 38 00:02:28,151 --> 00:02:29,905 this is what I was wearing that day. 39 00:02:30,244 --> 00:02:32,593 This is what I would call the "dress for success" model. 40 00:02:32,658 --> 00:02:34,608 I read this article before I took the SATs, 41 00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:37,491 and it said that if you dress professionally before an exam, 42 00:02:37,556 --> 00:02:40,382 you'll subliminally make yourself more confident and do better. 43 00:02:40,447 --> 00:02:43,163 I've been doing it ever since. I got a 2370, as you know, 44 00:02:43,228 --> 00:02:46,114 and I'm pretty sure I just knocked my stats midterm out of the park. 45 00:02:46,197 --> 00:02:49,196 Anyway, that's what I was wearing. Not that it matters. 46 00:02:49,540 --> 00:02:51,237 It matters to me. 47 00:02:53,986 --> 00:02:57,154 Can you please just go through it one more time? 48 00:02:57,244 --> 00:02:59,380 Please? For me? 49 00:03:00,009 --> 00:03:02,513 Just guide me through each step of the night. 50 00:03:02,923 --> 00:03:04,298 Fine. 51 00:03:04,986 --> 00:03:06,780 OK, get up. 52 00:03:07,048 --> 00:03:09,116 Just take me through it from the beginning 53 00:03:09,181 --> 00:03:10,460 like I've never heard it before. 54 00:03:10,525 --> 00:03:12,233 You sound like a dirty cop. 55 00:03:12,298 --> 00:03:14,304 - You ready? - Yeah. 56 00:03:14,369 --> 00:03:16,888 - OK. - Let's go. 57 00:03:24,256 --> 00:03:26,585 This is about to be the perfect Friday night. 58 00:03:26,650 --> 00:03:28,764 Everybody just finished their first midterms, 59 00:03:28,829 --> 00:03:31,179 so they're either super-stoked on themselves 60 00:03:31,244 --> 00:03:33,846 for being the brilliant little prodigies they were always told they were, 61 00:03:33,911 --> 00:03:36,638 or they're morbidly depressed and they need to drink their pain away. 62 00:03:36,703 --> 00:03:38,999 Everyone spent the last two weeks in the library, 63 00:03:39,064 --> 00:03:41,686 so they're gonna have all this repressed energy they need to release, 64 00:03:41,751 --> 00:03:44,346 and that can only be done by getting into a cramped space 65 00:03:44,411 --> 00:03:46,112 and touching each other. 66 00:03:48,446 --> 00:03:50,115 Oh no! Did I not tell you that 67 00:03:50,180 --> 00:03:52,334 the "dress for success" model can be modified 68 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:53,997 to fit a variety of applications? 69 00:03:54,062 --> 00:03:57,137 You are not nearly as charming as you think you are. 70 00:03:57,215 --> 00:03:58,763 And do you know that every time 71 00:03:58,828 --> 00:04:00,637 you interrupt me it slows down the process? 72 00:04:00,918 --> 00:04:02,948 Oh. Emily's coming. 73 00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:10,927 I'm not going out tonight. 74 00:04:10,992 --> 00:04:14,111 - Then why are you dressed like that? - It's comfortable. 75 00:04:14,508 --> 00:04:17,677 You're wearing a strapless bra. Comfortable strapless bras don't exist. 76 00:04:17,742 --> 00:04:18,951 You're coming out with me. 77 00:04:19,016 --> 00:04:20,130 Hold, please. 78 00:04:20,195 --> 00:04:21,669 Sorry, I just quickly want to address 79 00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:23,263 a misconception about smart girls. 80 00:04:23,328 --> 00:04:25,724 I think people think their precious daughters 81 00:04:25,789 --> 00:04:29,177 recoil at the scent of alcohol, or if they come home drunk 82 00:04:29,242 --> 00:04:31,278 it's because someone poured liquor down their throat. 83 00:04:31,343 --> 00:04:33,552 But in reality, no other group of people 84 00:04:33,617 --> 00:04:37,769 can get a girl drunk faster and with more efficacy than other girls. 85 00:04:38,574 --> 00:04:39,982 Can we please just do shots? 86 00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,949 I'm really close to hitting my calorie limit. 87 00:04:42,025 --> 00:04:43,560 I'll set you up. 88 00:04:45,202 --> 00:04:46,321 What do you want? 89 00:04:46,734 --> 00:04:48,490 I'll just have some OJ. 90 00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:51,988 - Getting soft in your old age? - OK. Just surprise me. 91 00:04:52,257 --> 00:04:55,982 Hm. Some girls like vodka and cranberry juice, 92 00:04:56,047 --> 00:04:57,724 and some girls like rum and orange juice, 93 00:04:57,789 --> 00:05:00,779 but by far the most popular pregame mixer 94 00:05:00,844 --> 00:05:05,302 has gotta be the crippling dietary restrictions and body image issues 95 00:05:05,367 --> 00:05:07,826 that we are unable to shed until we're wasted 96 00:05:07,891 --> 00:05:11,321 and we order and consume an entire cheese pizza in 15 minutes. 97 00:05:11,484 --> 00:05:12,781 Cheers. 98 00:05:12,994 --> 00:05:14,383 Thank you. 99 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,446 So you're not gonna hook up with Derek tonight. 100 00:05:17,641 --> 00:05:20,107 Oh, my God. Why would you even ask that? 101 00:05:20,172 --> 00:05:22,240 - It's not a question. - Of course not. 102 00:05:22,305 --> 00:05:25,013 - I'm so done. - That's what you said last week. 103 00:05:25,078 --> 00:05:29,488 His name is Derek. That's like the Kmart version of Eric. 104 00:05:29,945 --> 00:05:32,004 You are so mean. 105 00:05:32,870 --> 00:05:36,043 So is he! You can't be mean and ugly. 106 00:05:36,352 --> 00:05:40,082 You know what? I heard that Sean-in-Beta thinks you're hot. 107 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:41,929 I thought Beta-Sean was gay. 108 00:05:41,994 --> 00:05:44,654 Oh my God! Do you think that because he showers every day? 109 00:05:44,719 --> 00:05:47,582 Just focus on Beta-Sean, and I assure you, 110 00:05:47,664 --> 00:05:49,248 you will forget all about Derek. 111 00:05:49,313 --> 00:05:51,302 Fine! Fine. 112 00:05:51,367 --> 00:05:55,396 We're gonna go and see what it's like, 113 00:05:55,461 --> 00:05:56,951 and if it's fun, it's fun, 114 00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:58,809 and if it's not fun, we'll leave. 115 00:05:58,911 --> 00:06:01,410 Totally. But finish your drink. 116 00:06:06,375 --> 00:06:08,684 Got enough info for your little play? 117 00:06:19,477 --> 00:06:20,871 Jesus Christ. 118 00:06:21,578 --> 00:06:22,953 Sorry. 119 00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,544 So, I know what you're thinking. 120 00:06:26,609 --> 00:06:30,662 Why am I standing here freezing my ass off outside a fuckin' frat 121 00:06:30,727 --> 00:06:32,787 waiting for some idiots to deign to let me in 122 00:06:32,852 --> 00:06:36,996 so I can join in on the unmitigated swamp of booze and testosterone? 123 00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:40,779 Why am I, a modern woman, a card-carrying feminist, 124 00:06:40,844 --> 00:06:43,137 subjecting myself to this war zone? 125 00:06:43,202 --> 00:06:44,849 Don't I know it's kind of hypocritical 126 00:06:44,914 --> 00:06:46,935 to voluntarily subject myself 127 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,708 to the moral, physical, 128 00:06:48,773 --> 00:06:52,340 and psychological degradation that comes with that? 129 00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,126 Maybe. 130 00:06:55,438 --> 00:06:56,863 But I do it anyway. 131 00:06:57,092 --> 00:06:59,821 Why, you ask? Have I completely lost my mind? 132 00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:04,307 Because I want to. 133 00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:08,662 Yes! 134 00:07:08,752 --> 00:07:12,054 Nobody here knows that I am a gender studies minor. 135 00:07:12,119 --> 00:07:14,722 I spend all day being critical and discerning 136 00:07:14,787 --> 00:07:16,589 and posting liberal Facebook rants, 137 00:07:16,654 --> 00:07:19,502 but no one's dragging me here, ya know? 138 00:07:19,584 --> 00:07:21,846 I come here of my own volition, 139 00:07:21,911 --> 00:07:25,103 to let loose and dance badly and kiss boys. 140 00:07:25,482 --> 00:07:28,369 It can be nice to forget who you're supposed to be. 141 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:30,095 Thank you, Santa. 142 00:07:30,232 --> 00:07:34,064 One of the frats puts blood thinners in there to get you drunk faster. 143 00:07:34,136 --> 00:07:37,085 Sorry, one of the frats allegedly puts blood 144 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:39,384 thinners in it to get you drunk faster. 145 00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:44,446 One of the frats allegedly has their pledges pee in it before serving. 146 00:07:44,931 --> 00:07:46,471 Oh, my God, unclench. OK? 147 00:07:46,536 --> 00:07:49,686 And that's not this. This is just bad. 148 00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,327 Besides, this is my third year here, 149 00:07:51,392 --> 00:07:53,221 I know how to keep my shit together, right? 150 00:07:53,286 --> 00:07:54,987 Unlike Becky here. 151 00:07:56,745 --> 00:07:58,929 You're in my socy class! 152 00:07:58,994 --> 00:08:01,805 You have such pretty hair. 153 00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:04,302 Hey, where are your friends? 154 00:08:04,411 --> 00:08:07,096 I don't know, but can you be my friend, maybe? 155 00:08:07,161 --> 00:08:08,693 I thought I already was your friend. 156 00:08:08,769 --> 00:08:10,528 Oh, my God! 157 00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:11,697 Okay, Hi! 158 00:08:11,829 --> 00:08:12,999 Are you hungry? 159 00:08:13,064 --> 00:08:15,514 - Can we get a pizza? - Let's definitely do that. 160 00:08:15,579 --> 00:08:18,013 - Can you help me out here? - Of course. Where do you live? 161 00:08:18,078 --> 00:08:20,365 Bradford? Oh, my God, 162 00:08:20,430 --> 00:08:24,435 it's so shitty. My roommate is such a fake. 163 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,125 Let's go. 164 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:31,207 Oh, my God, like, I'm not judging, but... 165 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:33,125 OK, I'm judging a little bit. 166 00:08:33,282 --> 00:08:36,025 I'm just saying that this is not my first rodeo. 167 00:08:37,369 --> 00:08:38,614 Hey, Josie. 168 00:08:38,703 --> 00:08:40,680 Hey, fancy meeting you guys here. 169 00:08:40,745 --> 00:08:42,096 You missed a great time last night. 170 00:08:42,161 --> 00:08:43,304 Oh, yeah, well, 171 00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:45,045 I did, actually, like, have to study. 172 00:08:45,110 --> 00:08:47,701 That's kind of the thing about graduating in four years, 173 00:08:47,766 --> 00:08:49,707 - you have to do that. - Can't relate. 174 00:08:49,986 --> 00:08:51,474 Wanna play pong? 175 00:08:51,539 --> 00:08:52,956 Obviously. 176 00:08:56,860 --> 00:08:59,224 So there actually is something you can help me with. 177 00:08:59,289 --> 00:09:01,834 And you're old, so you might see something that I don't. 178 00:09:01,899 --> 00:09:03,247 Here's my dilemma. 179 00:09:03,312 --> 00:09:07,474 Over here, that's Donovan, he is very stupid, 180 00:09:07,539 --> 00:09:10,920 but he kinda has this douchey-hot thing going for him, 181 00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:14,493 like a douchebag was surgically implanted into a ten-foot-tall child. 182 00:09:14,620 --> 00:09:16,873 But his dad is super-loaded, 183 00:09:16,938 --> 00:09:18,498 so he could kinda come in handy 184 00:09:18,563 --> 00:09:20,569 for a non-disgusting sugar daddy 185 00:09:20,634 --> 00:09:22,692 to support me while I'm becoming a writer. 186 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:25,442 So he's a great option, ya know? 187 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:28,443 And then over here we have Jon. 188 00:09:29,443 --> 00:09:32,178 Jon will probably make zero dollars outta graduation 189 00:09:32,243 --> 00:09:33,670 working for Greenpeace or some shit, 190 00:09:33,735 --> 00:09:35,912 but he has this kind of self-flagellating brand 191 00:09:35,977 --> 00:09:38,045 of questionably authentic male feminism 192 00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,514 which indicates to me that he definitely eats pussy, 193 00:09:40,579 --> 00:09:43,498 which is like finding a diamond in a pile of horseshit. 194 00:09:43,563 --> 00:09:46,535 It's just a really rare commodity in this economy. 195 00:09:46,688 --> 00:09:48,881 So, ya know, they're both great options. 196 00:09:48,946 --> 00:09:50,879 You see my dilemma. What should I do? 197 00:09:51,305 --> 00:09:54,045 Uh, uh, well, I think, um... 198 00:09:54,110 --> 00:09:56,721 Um, sorry I shouldn't have asked. You're completely useless. 199 00:09:56,786 --> 00:10:00,278 I'm just gonna go home with one of them, so I guess place your bets? 200 00:10:00,574 --> 00:10:02,067 - Hey! - Ahh! 201 00:10:03,161 --> 00:10:04,785 Right this way, my lady. 202 00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:07,223 Donovan rushes ahead right out the gate. 203 00:10:07,329 --> 00:10:10,654 Jon is the dark horse. Will he give up entirely? 204 00:10:10,719 --> 00:10:13,576 Will he sulk and pick up an unsuspecting freshman 205 00:10:13,641 --> 00:10:16,537 with a sob story about how, as a sensitive frat boy, 206 00:10:16,602 --> 00:10:18,905 he's really disgusted with the behavior of his peers? 207 00:10:19,047 --> 00:10:20,613 Only time will tell. 208 00:10:21,869 --> 00:10:23,779 That kid is gay as fuck. 209 00:10:23,861 --> 00:10:26,868 Oh, no. Are we still using that as an insult? 210 00:10:26,969 --> 00:10:29,738 Don't you guys have a rainbow flag in your window? 211 00:10:30,016 --> 00:10:33,279 Yeah, I mean, I support his right to be gay as fuck 100%. 212 00:10:33,344 --> 00:10:37,364 Oh, God. He's managed to disappoint me before he even pulled out his dick. 213 00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:04,196 Oh! 214 00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:07,681 Oh... 215 00:11:07,766 --> 00:11:09,795 I know whose Animal House poster 216 00:11:09,860 --> 00:11:12,035 I'm getting fingered under tonight. 217 00:11:17,508 --> 00:11:20,248 Wait. I actually have to worry more about appearances, 218 00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:23,068 because it doesn't take much to get you labeled as a slut around here. 219 00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:25,449 Qualifiers include but are not limited to 220 00:11:25,633 --> 00:11:28,738 showing an interest in sex before midnight. Hmm. 221 00:11:29,094 --> 00:11:31,607 Do you ever think about just leaving? You're wasted. 222 00:11:31,672 --> 00:11:36,074 No. To leave would be to admit to everyone that I'm... what is the word? 223 00:11:36,164 --> 00:11:37,578 Mature. 224 00:11:40,914 --> 00:11:43,240 - Wait. - Oh, my God, what? 225 00:11:43,305 --> 00:11:44,927 - Is that a karaoke machine? - Yeah, 226 00:11:44,992 --> 00:11:47,709 I think the theme was supposed to be eighties. But... 227 00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,396 Nobody here is dressed in a theme. 228 00:11:49,461 --> 00:11:51,623 I guess if there was a theme, you could call it 229 00:11:51,688 --> 00:11:54,763 "Battle of the girls who are skinny enough to wear crop-tops 230 00:11:54,828 --> 00:11:57,887 versus the girls who can't, and are salty about it." 231 00:11:57,954 --> 00:12:00,006 You could totally wear a crop-top. 232 00:12:00,071 --> 00:12:02,426 No, I couldn't, and I don't want to anyway. 233 00:12:02,672 --> 00:12:03,818 Yeah, you could. 234 00:12:03,883 --> 00:12:06,076 You could wear a high-waisted legging with a control top 235 00:12:06,141 --> 00:12:07,951 and then just show a sliver of your belly. 236 00:12:08,016 --> 00:12:11,790 If you can drink six beers and still suck in your stomach, 237 00:12:11,855 --> 00:12:13,179 like, go for it. 238 00:12:13,244 --> 00:12:14,469 This is the time to do it. 239 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,360 Hell, yeah! Go topless, even! 240 00:12:16,425 --> 00:12:17,680 - Free the nipple. - Tits out! 241 00:12:17,745 --> 00:12:19,846 - It's called empowerment. - Yeah, man. 242 00:12:19,911 --> 00:12:22,112 I'll show you empowerment. 243 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:23,542 Sorry. 244 00:12:25,135 --> 00:12:28,241 ♪ You are the fuel, I'm the light ♪ 245 00:12:28,944 --> 00:12:32,480 ♪ You light a match and I watch it ignite ♪ 246 00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:36,846 ♪ We gonna fly... ♪ You know the lyrics, shit! 247 00:12:36,911 --> 00:12:40,304 ♪ We gonna fly till we h-hit the ground ♪ 248 00:12:40,369 --> 00:12:43,163 ♪ Can you feel it, in the night ♪ 249 00:12:43,292 --> 00:12:47,468 ♪ Like the floor's on fire, like the floor's on fire ♪ 250 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:49,054 ♪ Can you feel it ♪ 251 00:12:49,119 --> 00:12:50,829 ♪ Hotter than the sun ♪ 252 00:12:50,894 --> 00:12:52,887 ♪ Like the floor's on fire ♪ 253 00:12:52,952 --> 00:12:55,312 ♪ Like the floor's on fire ♪ 254 00:12:56,606 --> 00:12:58,641 Dance break! 255 00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:10,638 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 256 00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:13,960 ♪ When you fly ♪ 257 00:13:15,453 --> 00:13:17,404 ♪ Oh yeah ♪ 258 00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:21,530 Do you feel it, feel it? 259 00:13:21,706 --> 00:13:23,429 Can you feel it? 260 00:13:23,494 --> 00:13:25,976 Can you feel it?! 261 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,482 Can you feel it? Whoo! 262 00:13:34,786 --> 00:13:38,529 Did you see when I died and then I came back to life? 263 00:13:40,989 --> 00:13:43,775 Are you kidding me? What is wrong with this guy? 264 00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,695 His attention span is so freaking short. 265 00:13:45,828 --> 00:13:48,227 Maybe he does need all that Adderall. 266 00:13:57,950 --> 00:14:00,625 - Yo. - Oh, hey. 267 00:14:00,870 --> 00:14:02,853 Thought I lost you to Donovan back there. 268 00:14:02,918 --> 00:14:05,727 Oh. No, I just... I did a lap. 269 00:14:06,036 --> 00:14:09,836 God... I'm pretty wasted. 270 00:14:10,543 --> 00:14:12,142 Doubtful. That's just an excuse 271 00:14:12,207 --> 00:14:14,533 for whatever insane shit he's about to say. 272 00:14:14,598 --> 00:14:16,383 Um, yeah, so am I. 273 00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:19,961 Well, do you... wanna sober up a little? 274 00:14:20,121 --> 00:14:21,745 Uh, yeah? 275 00:14:24,202 --> 00:14:26,221 I actually do. 276 00:14:26,286 --> 00:14:28,221 I feel like there's always a point in the night 277 00:14:28,286 --> 00:14:30,349 where you get kinda tired of being hammered. 278 00:14:30,414 --> 00:14:32,909 Like this one time, I was so stoned 279 00:14:32,974 --> 00:14:36,507 and I Googled "How to be less high," 280 00:14:36,572 --> 00:14:41,350 and then I was so high, I couldn't read the Google result. 281 00:14:41,415 --> 00:14:45,787 Um, but, yeah, I wish I could get sober quickly 282 00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:49,446 when I'm tired of saying stupid shit and the room is spinning. 283 00:14:50,745 --> 00:14:51,829 Oh. 284 00:14:51,953 --> 00:14:54,322 This is some really good shit. 285 00:14:56,036 --> 00:14:58,321 I know what I'm doing. 286 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,649 And you thought romance was dead. 287 00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:13,877 Wouldn't it be, like, even more badass 288 00:15:13,942 --> 00:15:16,627 if we just did it straight off the toilet seat? 289 00:15:16,692 --> 00:15:18,362 We're already destroying our bodies, 290 00:15:18,427 --> 00:15:21,571 we may as well snort up some invisible poop particles. 291 00:15:21,924 --> 00:15:24,118 It's like adding insult to injury. 292 00:15:35,103 --> 00:15:37,068 Didn't I tell ya that was some good stuff? 293 00:15:37,251 --> 00:15:40,443 Yeah, that's great. I bet they call you El Chapo. 294 00:15:40,555 --> 00:15:43,755 Oh, my God, that's crazy! How did you know? 295 00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:51,143 Let's get outta here. 296 00:15:58,345 --> 00:16:02,091 It's so cool to meet a girl who does coke. 297 00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:05,929 I don't do coke. I party, I drink, 298 00:16:05,994 --> 00:16:09,872 I occasionally abuse a stimulant 299 00:16:09,937 --> 00:16:11,796 that was not prescribed to me by a medical professional, 300 00:16:11,861 --> 00:16:13,575 but I don't I don't do coke. 301 00:16:14,439 --> 00:16:15,578 OK. 302 00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:17,483 I am cool, though. 303 00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:54,507 Oh, shit. 304 00:17:01,369 --> 00:17:02,902 You on the pill? 305 00:17:03,238 --> 00:17:04,821 Uh-huh. 306 00:17:05,202 --> 00:17:06,404 Hold, please. 307 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,691 Isn't he dreamy? 308 00:17:09,911 --> 00:17:11,763 I would say that that is the height of romance, 309 00:17:11,828 --> 00:17:16,846 but I have a friend who once had a guy buy Plan B for her. 310 00:17:16,911 --> 00:17:18,550 So that kinda set the bar. 311 00:17:18,698 --> 00:17:20,364 Ow. Ahh. 312 00:17:27,470 --> 00:17:29,578 Ahh. Um... 313 00:17:31,578 --> 00:17:33,244 Ow. 314 00:17:41,911 --> 00:17:43,420 Ow! 315 00:17:43,703 --> 00:17:45,916 Dude, what the fuck! Jesus! 316 00:17:47,578 --> 00:17:49,675 Can we make out for two seconds? 317 00:17:49,740 --> 00:17:50,740 Yeah. 318 00:17:55,779 --> 00:17:57,363 You're so beautiful. 319 00:17:57,841 --> 00:18:00,898 I've had a thing for you for so long. 320 00:18:03,911 --> 00:18:07,338 Wait. Wait. 321 00:18:11,186 --> 00:18:14,084 W... Wait. 322 00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:15,787 Relax. So, 323 00:18:15,865 --> 00:18:17,353 Is this your first time or something? 324 00:18:17,428 --> 00:18:18,720 No... 325 00:18:22,578 --> 00:18:23,952 Wait... 326 00:18:43,679 --> 00:18:45,554 Wait. 327 00:19:22,897 --> 00:19:26,529 Oh, that was... That was fuckin' great. 328 00:19:35,764 --> 00:19:39,205 Where you going? Wanna stay the night? 329 00:19:39,358 --> 00:19:42,783 Um, I'm... I got work tomorrow, so.. 330 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,031 All right. 331 00:19:47,897 --> 00:19:51,775 Actually, I'm not sure. I'm just gonna get a glass of water. 332 00:19:52,411 --> 00:19:53,905 Hurry back. 333 00:21:10,288 --> 00:21:11,564 You get what you needed? 334 00:21:11,629 --> 00:21:13,555 Um, I-I don't... 335 00:21:13,620 --> 00:21:16,513 - Fuck! - I'm sorry. I just... 336 00:21:16,578 --> 00:21:19,071 Why do you keep making me redo this night? 337 00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:22,472 I-I party all the time, you have a lot to choose from. 338 00:21:22,537 --> 00:21:23,820 I know, I'm sorry. 339 00:21:23,885 --> 00:21:25,649 And what are you even writing about? 340 00:21:25,714 --> 00:21:27,621 Like, Binge drinking? Drugs? 341 00:21:27,686 --> 00:21:29,503 I'm clearly not the poster child 342 00:21:29,568 --> 00:21:31,555 for the next parental sob story. 343 00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:35,003 Clearly I turn out fine, or at least OK. 344 00:21:35,068 --> 00:21:37,080 Can you just listen for a second? Please? 345 00:21:37,536 --> 00:21:39,771 First of all, I'm not that old. 346 00:21:39,983 --> 00:21:42,304 But I do have enough distance from where you are 347 00:21:42,369 --> 00:21:44,635 to know that, um... 348 00:21:46,061 --> 00:21:48,941 most of the specifics about college 349 00:21:49,006 --> 00:21:50,613 have faded away by now. 350 00:21:50,959 --> 00:21:53,175 You are worried about so many things 351 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,763 that do not matter anymore. 352 00:21:54,828 --> 00:21:58,738 You're worried about your GPA, finding a date to formal, 353 00:21:59,061 --> 00:22:00,605 you think your arms are too fat. 354 00:22:00,670 --> 00:22:02,347 Are you saying my arms aren't fat? 355 00:22:02,412 --> 00:22:06,182 I'm saying it could be worse, and you waste too much time thinking about it. 356 00:22:07,631 --> 00:22:09,831 This stage of our life is such a blur to me, 357 00:22:09,896 --> 00:22:13,525 and I only remember a few things really, really vividly. 358 00:22:13,615 --> 00:22:16,377 And this night is one of those things. 359 00:22:19,786 --> 00:22:21,658 What is your play about? 360 00:22:23,576 --> 00:22:25,064 It's about rape. 361 00:22:27,108 --> 00:22:29,805 Then you need to find another topic, 362 00:22:29,870 --> 00:22:31,941 because that is not what happened. Like, hey. 363 00:22:32,006 --> 00:22:34,137 News flash: Frat guys are bad at sex. 364 00:22:34,202 --> 00:22:37,027 You know, maybe it wasn't the most consensual thing, I... 365 00:22:37,092 --> 00:22:38,471 There it is. That's it. 366 00:22:38,536 --> 00:22:40,605 If you can hear one thing that I say, 367 00:22:40,670 --> 00:22:42,763 please let it be that there is no such thing 368 00:22:42,828 --> 00:22:44,471 as nonconsensual sex. 369 00:22:44,536 --> 00:22:46,821 There is just consensual sex, and there is rape. 370 00:22:46,928 --> 00:22:48,439 Those are the only options. 371 00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:52,533 If it's that simple, then why am I still here? 372 00:22:53,952 --> 00:22:55,635 I kissed him first. 373 00:22:55,881 --> 00:22:58,371 You've seen it a million times. I kissed him first. 374 00:22:58,436 --> 00:23:02,292 - I know. - But I never... there's no way that... 375 00:23:02,357 --> 00:23:04,516 Ooohhh! Like, aughhh! 376 00:23:05,326 --> 00:23:07,143 I was drunk, I kissed him first, 377 00:23:07,208 --> 00:23:08,800 there's nothing that I can do with that. 378 00:23:08,865 --> 00:23:10,808 I'm not telling you what you should or shouldn't do, 379 00:23:10,873 --> 00:23:15,307 I just... want you to know that it's OK to feel bad about what happened. 380 00:23:15,514 --> 00:23:17,014 I'm fine. 381 00:23:17,244 --> 00:23:18,686 OK. 382 00:23:19,147 --> 00:23:20,924 You're the one who's still hung up on it. 383 00:23:21,131 --> 00:23:22,590 I know. 384 00:23:23,364 --> 00:23:25,566 I just... I... need to forget. 385 00:23:25,631 --> 00:23:29,207 I wish that a butterfly would clap its wings 386 00:23:29,290 --> 00:23:31,089 somewhere between you and I 387 00:23:31,154 --> 00:23:32,971 and then I would forget about it 388 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:34,946 before I got to your age. 389 00:23:35,092 --> 00:23:36,502 You don't forget. 390 00:23:41,834 --> 00:23:43,131 Can I go? 391 00:23:44,857 --> 00:23:46,074 Uh, yeah. Yeah. 392 00:23:46,139 --> 00:23:48,054 Um, you... you should get some sleep. 393 00:23:48,119 --> 00:23:50,878 Your friends are gonna randomly decide to go on a hike tomorrow, 394 00:23:50,943 --> 00:23:52,877 and it's gonna be really fun, so you should, 395 00:23:53,006 --> 00:23:55,132 you should make sure you're awake on time for that. 396 00:23:55,197 --> 00:23:56,303 Okay! 397 00:24:00,002 --> 00:24:01,562 Sorry, wait. Just really quickly. 398 00:24:01,627 --> 00:24:04,029 Um, I just want to know, what do I end up doing? 399 00:24:04,698 --> 00:24:06,694 Um, you're a writer. You know that. 400 00:24:07,161 --> 00:24:09,436 No, I mean about this. 401 00:24:10,476 --> 00:24:13,187 Well, I-I can't really tell you what to do. 402 00:24:13,252 --> 00:24:16,725 You'll get here eventually, but the choices have to be yours. 403 00:24:17,213 --> 00:24:18,577 I should have known you would say 404 00:24:18,642 --> 00:24:21,264 something stupid and fake-deep like that. 405 00:24:25,197 --> 00:24:27,232 Does it get any easier? 406 00:24:27,494 --> 00:24:28,791 What? 407 00:24:30,548 --> 00:24:34,436 I don't know, like, um... adulthood? 408 00:24:35,828 --> 00:24:38,863 No. Just gets different. 409 00:24:40,994 --> 00:24:42,307 OK. 410 00:24:42,971 --> 00:24:45,287 I'll let you finish your play now. 411 00:24:45,526 --> 00:24:49,100 Um. Sucks that I don't ever get any better at deadlines. 412 00:24:52,161 --> 00:24:54,405 Hey, do I get an "A" in stats? 413 00:24:54,752 --> 00:24:57,584 Oh, my God, get the fuck outta here. 414 00:25:18,275 --> 00:25:20,553 Sync corrections by srjanapala 31879

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