Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,529
It's called
a Christmas tree, Tammy.
2
00:00:07,572 --> 00:00:09,487
Or in Germany,
a Tannenbaum.
3
00:00:09,531 --> 00:00:11,141
I know what it's called,
Big Sauce.
4
00:00:11,185 --> 00:00:13,056
I just haven't seen one
in a long time.
5
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,015
Don't they have
Christmas trees in prison?
6
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,147
No, they kind of frown on joy.
7
00:00:17,191 --> 00:00:20,368
We're glad you're with
us this year, honey.
8
00:00:20,411 --> 00:00:21,717
Hey, since everyone's here,
9
00:00:21,760 --> 00:00:23,327
how about we draw names
for Secret Santa?
10
00:00:23,371 --> 00:00:25,938
Huh. I didn't think ol'
"socks and a candle"
11
00:00:25,982 --> 00:00:27,375
would be kick-starting it
this year.
12
00:00:27,418 --> 00:00:29,246
You said you liked them.
13
00:00:29,290 --> 00:00:31,640
And that was my gift to you.
14
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:32,945
Hey, I got news for you.
15
00:00:32,989 --> 00:00:35,078
This year, I am winning
Secret Santa.
16
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:36,471
Not a competition.
17
00:00:36,514 --> 00:00:37,863
Marjorie's right.
18
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,083
It's an expression of
our love for each other...
19
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,998
that Christy
always loses.
20
00:00:43,652 --> 00:00:45,523
Can we at least
up the limit?
21
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,047
I mean, $25?
22
00:00:47,090 --> 00:00:49,701
What am I supposed to buy y'all,
a bag of dirt?
23
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:52,617
Ooh, 25 bucks,
that's a little steep for me.
24
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,097
No, that's just
a ceiling, Tammy.
25
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:56,708
You can even make something.Like venison stew?
26
00:00:56,752 --> 00:00:58,493
Sure.
27
00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,929
Ooh! Stew it is.
28
00:00:59,972 --> 00:01:01,539
Oh! Secret, secret!
29
00:01:01,583 --> 00:01:05,630
Lord, I'm getting Bambi
in a bowl for Christmas.
30
00:01:05,674 --> 00:01:07,676
All right, everyone.
31
00:01:07,719 --> 00:01:09,721
Please pick with one hand,
eyes closed.
32
00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:11,071
If you choose your own name,
33
00:01:11,114 --> 00:01:13,029
you must...We know
the rules, Wendy.
34
00:01:13,073 --> 00:01:15,075
Do we? 'Cause last
year you picked
35
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,033
your own name and
gave yourself cash.
36
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,208
I know what I like.
37
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,731
Hint: I'd like it again.
38
00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:21,516
Ugh.
39
00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:24,084
You do know whoever you
picked is in the room?
40
00:01:24,127 --> 00:01:27,130
Well, "ugh" isn't
always a bad thing.
41
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:30,090
Ugh, that's a lovely sweater.
42
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:32,396
Damn it, I wanted Bonnie.
Who's got Bonnie?
43
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:33,528
Merry Christmas.
44
00:01:37,575 --> 00:01:40,839
Any chance we could,
uh, 86 the venison stew?
45
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,754
Oh, sure. Where do
you stand on elk?
46
00:01:42,798 --> 00:01:44,060
CHRISTY:
Hey. Hey, hey.
47
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,322
No requests.
48
00:01:45,366 --> 00:01:47,237
The point is to use
your imagination
49
00:01:47,281 --> 00:01:50,240
and think about the dear friend
you're buying a gift for.
50
00:01:50,284 --> 00:01:52,024
Ugh.
51
00:01:52,068 --> 00:01:54,070
♪
52
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,222
Son of a bitch.
53
00:02:15,265 --> 00:02:17,833
There's the Plunkett
Christmas spirit.
54
00:02:17,876 --> 00:02:19,748
I'm in Secret Santa hell.
55
00:02:19,791 --> 00:02:21,750
Who'd you get?I'm not telling.
56
00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:23,534
Look at me.
57
00:02:25,971 --> 00:02:27,843
Wendy.
58
00:02:27,886 --> 00:02:29,497
How do you do that?
59
00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:32,674
That brief alien abduction
left me with some powers.
60
00:02:32,717 --> 00:02:34,850
It's embarrassing.
61
00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,373
We've been friends
with Wendy for years
62
00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:38,070
and I only know
three things about her.
63
00:02:38,114 --> 00:02:40,551
She's a nurse,
she's five foot three...
64
00:02:41,900 --> 00:02:43,075
Two things.
65
00:02:43,119 --> 00:02:45,382
Not to rub it in,
but I got blessed
66
00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:46,862
by the Secret Santa gods.
67
00:02:46,905 --> 00:02:48,211
You got Marjorie?
68
00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,082
Can we trade?
No way.
69
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:51,606
In fact...
70
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,564
"Cat pillow.
71
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:55,436
"Add to cart.
72
00:02:55,479 --> 00:02:57,307
Confirm."
Ah, she'll be here Tuesday.
73
00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,224
No, you tell the driver
it was supposed to be
74
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:03,661
three cases of tequila, not six.
75
00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,402
That's more than enough.
76
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:06,708
Morning.
77
00:03:06,751 --> 00:03:08,753
Amazing. I hear
the word "tequila"
78
00:03:08,797 --> 00:03:10,451
and I immediately
want chips and salsa
79
00:03:10,494 --> 00:03:11,713
and to take my
clothes off.
80
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:13,758
I hear "tequila"
and I want heroin.
81
00:03:13,802 --> 00:03:15,543
Isn't it funny
how our brains work?
82
00:03:17,675 --> 00:03:19,590
Oh, just a heads-up,
I got to get a deposit check
83
00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:20,765
to the wedding band.
84
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:22,071
Yeah, well, you know
where the book is.
85
00:03:22,114 --> 00:03:23,638
You sign my name better
than I do, anyway.
86
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,423
Yeah, but I feel dirty
when I don't ask first.
87
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,990
Not really.
88
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,339
All right, I'm out.
89
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,775
Okay, honey.
Go get people drunk.
90
00:03:30,819 --> 00:03:33,474
And you continue to be
strangely cool with that.
91
00:03:35,519 --> 00:03:37,173
Hey. Real quick,
Christy and I were talking.
92
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,783
Do you want to go out
for Christmas Eve
93
00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,481
or do you want to do it
here family style?
94
00:03:40,524 --> 00:03:42,744
Oh, yeah. About that...
95
00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:45,137
Tell me you're not working
Christmas Eve.
96
00:03:45,181 --> 00:03:47,618
I'm sorry,
it's a big night for bars.
97
00:03:47,662 --> 00:03:50,317
People are depressed
'cause they don't have families.
98
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,796
Others are depressed
'cause they do.
99
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,061
Plus, the Raiders are on
and that'll depress everyone.
100
00:03:56,105 --> 00:03:58,020
But you're welcome to join in
on the festivities.
101
00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,543
Great, so my choices are
102
00:03:59,587 --> 00:04:01,589
spend Christmas Eve
with my kid or in a bar.
103
00:04:01,632 --> 00:04:02,851
Nothing ever changes.
104
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:07,812
You got your parole officer
a Christmas present?
105
00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,118
Oh, yeah. Juan's
been great.
106
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,946
I got him a bottle
of aftershave.
107
00:04:10,989 --> 00:04:14,558
Eight bucks and it comes
with foot powder.
108
00:04:14,602 --> 00:04:17,126
Okay, let's get started.
109
00:04:17,169 --> 00:04:18,997
That's not Juan.
110
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,608
Which one of
you is Tammy?
111
00:04:20,651 --> 00:04:22,305
Me.And who are you?
112
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,438
I'm her ride; Juan's cool
with me hanging out.
113
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:26,135
Juan's been reassigned.
114
00:04:26,178 --> 00:04:27,919
And I'm not cool.
115
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:30,139
Wait, Juan's out?
116
00:04:30,182 --> 00:04:31,793
And this is how I'm
hearing about it?
117
00:04:31,836 --> 00:04:34,186
That's a kick in
the lady pants.
118
00:04:34,230 --> 00:04:37,189
I'm Eve Ferguson,
I'm in charge of your case.
119
00:04:37,233 --> 00:04:38,974
You can wait in the hallway.
120
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,802
Oh. Okay.
121
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:41,977
Guess you're
on your own.
122
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:44,675
I'll be close.O-Okay.
123
00:04:44,719 --> 00:04:45,720
What is that?
124
00:04:45,763 --> 00:04:48,026
Oh, just some aftershave
for Juan.
125
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:50,986
Which you are very welcome
to have.
126
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:52,292
For your fella.
127
00:04:52,335 --> 00:04:53,684
Or your lady.
128
00:04:53,728 --> 00:04:57,645
Or yourself if you like
to smell like the sea.
129
00:04:57,688 --> 00:05:00,082
It comes with
foot powder... Oh.Stop talking.
130
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:05,348
Okay, I see you have
a place to live
131
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:07,219
and you're in a 12-step program.
132
00:05:07,263 --> 00:05:08,873
I don't see a job here.
You working?
133
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:10,222
Uh, well, I...
134
00:05:10,266 --> 00:05:12,877
Handyman.
The bathroom's this way?
135
00:05:12,921 --> 00:05:15,184
Yeah, I've done
some handyman jobs.
136
00:05:15,227 --> 00:05:17,360
Uh, I don't see any pay stubs.
137
00:05:17,404 --> 00:05:18,970
No, it's more
of a barter situation.
138
00:05:19,014 --> 00:05:20,581
Trading the work
for food or rent.
139
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:23,932
I did some plumbing
for Bonnie's fiancé at his bar.
140
00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:25,542
He's in a wheelchair,
if that helps.
141
00:05:26,978 --> 00:05:28,719
It doesn't.
142
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,852
I'm gonna need some proof
of employment
143
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:33,245
or I'm gonna be forced
to revoke your parole.
144
00:05:33,289 --> 00:05:35,422
Wait, what? Are you serious?
145
00:05:35,465 --> 00:05:37,685
Yes, and I'm gonna need it
by next Monday.
146
00:05:37,728 --> 00:05:38,816
That's Christmas Eve.
147
00:05:38,860 --> 00:05:40,775
Otherwise known as Monday.
148
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:43,212
BONNIE:
Knock, knock.
149
00:05:43,255 --> 00:05:45,083
I just lost a dollar
in the vending machine.
150
00:05:45,127 --> 00:05:46,389
Who do I see about that?
151
00:05:46,433 --> 00:05:47,956
I'll take the dollar
or the Sprite.
152
00:05:50,567 --> 00:05:51,829
You need any help?
153
00:05:51,873 --> 00:05:53,091
You offering?
154
00:05:53,135 --> 00:05:55,137
No, but I can put the word out.
155
00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,008
What are you doing?
156
00:05:57,052 --> 00:05:59,968
I cracked the Christmas code.
157
00:06:00,011 --> 00:06:02,492
I tracked down Wendy's second
cousin in Staten Island
158
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:05,060
who put me in touch
with one of her aunts in Newark.
159
00:06:05,103 --> 00:06:07,018
By the way,
there is a solid chance
160
00:06:07,062 --> 00:06:10,021
that one side of Wendy's family
is pretty mobbed up.
161
00:06:10,065 --> 00:06:12,546
Maybe I shouldn't be mean
to her anymore.
162
00:06:12,589 --> 00:06:15,375
Yeah, I'd hate to find you
frozen in a meat truck.
163
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:18,116
Been there.
It's not fun.
164
00:06:19,683 --> 00:06:20,641
So what are you making?
165
00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,207
Wendy's grandmother used to make
166
00:06:22,251 --> 00:06:24,079
these peppermint meringue
cookies every Christmas.
167
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:26,560
She's dead, I'm not, bam.
168
00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:30,259
Who's your Secret Santa
now, bitch?
169
00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:33,915
Impressive. It's no cat pillow,
but impressive.
170
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,265
Any luck finding Tammy a job?
171
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,180
Not yet. She didn't finish
high school,
172
00:06:38,223 --> 00:06:40,530
she hasn't worked in years,
she's not good with people.
173
00:06:40,574 --> 00:06:43,403
How the hell did Iget a job?
174
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,448
Hey, where's our cookie sheet?
175
00:06:45,492 --> 00:06:48,582
Oh, sorry, I put it under my car
to catch the oil.
176
00:06:48,625 --> 00:06:51,280
Our good towels aren't doing
the trick anymore?
177
00:06:51,323 --> 00:06:53,413
Adam's got some fancy cookie
sheets at his apartment.
178
00:06:53,456 --> 00:06:55,763
I'll get you his keys.Adam bakes cookies?
179
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:57,765
No. They've got old girlfriend
written all over them.
180
00:06:57,808 --> 00:06:59,854
In fact, after you're done,
throw them away.
181
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:01,638
Oh, and grab a couple
of his good towels.
182
00:07:08,993 --> 00:07:11,474
[exhales]
183
00:07:11,518 --> 00:07:13,476
He's so clean.
184
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:15,347
How can he marry my mother?
185
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:19,003
[sighs]
186
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,397
Uh, hello?Aah!
187
00:07:22,746 --> 00:07:24,487
You know, if you really
wanted to hurt me,
188
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,662
there's knives right behind you.
189
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,490
[chuckles]
190
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:29,318
Yeah, yeah.
That would've made more sense.
191
00:07:29,361 --> 00:07:32,626
Uh... who are you?
192
00:07:32,669 --> 00:07:35,890
Daniel. I'm renting
this place for a month.
193
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:38,153
You are?Yeah, Airbnb.
194
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:39,546
Who are you?
195
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:42,810
Christy.
Adam's my mom's fiancé.
196
00:07:42,853 --> 00:07:45,377
I came by to borrow
his baking sheets.
197
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:47,510
I'm making
Christmas cookies,
198
00:07:47,554 --> 00:07:48,990
it's a Secret Santa thing.
Stop me
199
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,513
when you have
enough information.
200
00:07:50,557 --> 00:07:53,211
Well, I can't say no
to Secret Santa.
201
00:07:53,255 --> 00:07:54,865
Thanks.
202
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:58,652
Maybe I could
203
00:07:58,695 --> 00:08:01,089
come back and bring you
some cookies,
204
00:08:01,132 --> 00:08:02,830
if you're into that
kind of thing.
205
00:08:02,873 --> 00:08:04,048
I'd love that.
206
00:08:04,092 --> 00:08:06,094
Yeah?Yeah.
207
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:09,532
Oh, but my boyfriend's
gluten-free.
208
00:08:09,576 --> 00:08:11,360
Uh-huh.
209
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:15,364
Well, then, since we have no
future, get your own cookies.
210
00:08:16,887 --> 00:08:18,149
Merry Christmas.
211
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:23,546
♪ You know Dasher and Sampson
212
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:27,202
♪ And Connor and... Gibson.
213
00:08:28,333 --> 00:08:30,335
Eh, maybe I don't know them.
214
00:08:32,381 --> 00:08:34,252
How'd it go?
215
00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:35,819
It was a hard no.
216
00:08:35,863 --> 00:08:38,909
Apparently,
I'm not Macy's material.
217
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:41,129
I'm sorry. Did you
return my blouse?
218
00:08:41,172 --> 00:08:42,565
Oh, yeah. Store credit.
219
00:08:42,609 --> 00:08:43,827
What?
220
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,699
No cash refunds
after six months.
221
00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:47,004
That's Macy's policy.
222
00:08:47,048 --> 00:08:48,963
See what they're missing?
223
00:08:50,181 --> 00:08:51,966
You want to try Pottery Barn?
224
00:08:52,009 --> 00:08:53,968
Why bother?
225
00:08:54,011 --> 00:08:57,232
I'm an ex-con in my 50s
with no job experience.
226
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,668
Who's gonna hire me?
227
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,409
Maybe we're aiming
a little too high.
228
00:09:00,452 --> 00:09:03,760
[grunts]
My Spanx agree.
229
00:09:03,804 --> 00:09:05,893
Desperate times call
for desperate measures.
230
00:09:05,936 --> 00:09:08,896
Truck stop hooker?
231
00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,681
I was thinking flipping burgers
in a paper hat.
232
00:09:11,725 --> 00:09:13,727
Ugh, so degrading.
233
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:26,000
Hello, vodka.
234
00:09:26,043 --> 00:09:29,873
Do you go to meetings five days
a week to get over me?
235
00:09:33,050 --> 00:09:34,791
Hey.Oh.
236
00:09:34,835 --> 00:09:36,663
[chuckles]: Hey.
What brings you down here?
237
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,796
I needed cookie sheets
and my mom said you had some.
238
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:41,798
Oh, yeah, an old girlfriend
left some at my place
239
00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:43,191
before she went crazy.
240
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:45,193
So you have a type.
241
00:09:45,236 --> 00:09:47,717
Yeah, apparently.
I'll bring them over tonight.
242
00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:50,241
Too late.
Got them myself.
243
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:53,723
And met the guy
renting your apartment.
244
00:09:53,767 --> 00:09:55,812
Oh. Huh.
245
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,206
Yeah.You didn't tell
your mom, did you?
246
00:09:58,249 --> 00:10:01,731
No. I recognize sneaky behavior
when I see it.
247
00:10:01,775 --> 00:10:04,038
So what's going on, Sneak?
248
00:10:04,081 --> 00:10:08,520
Okay, contrary
to what you may see here,
249
00:10:08,564 --> 00:10:10,914
this bar is not
exactly trending.
250
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,570
Oh, my God.
251
00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:18,356
You're open right now?
252
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,881
This is the lunch rush.
253
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,447
I'm sorry.
254
00:10:22,491 --> 00:10:25,929
Eh. It's not a disaster.
255
00:10:25,973 --> 00:10:26,930
I didn't say it was.
256
00:10:26,974 --> 00:10:29,280
I'm talking to myself.
257
00:10:29,324 --> 00:10:31,282
The nights are slow,
258
00:10:31,326 --> 00:10:34,459
the days are... this.
259
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:36,200
I have no credit
with my vendors,
260
00:10:36,244 --> 00:10:37,854
so I have to pay
everything up front,
261
00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,726
including buying uniforms
262
00:10:39,769 --> 00:10:41,902
for the health inspector's
son's Little League team.
263
00:10:41,945 --> 00:10:44,644
[laughing]:
The Barrelworks Pirates.
264
00:10:44,687 --> 00:10:46,297
They're one and six.
265
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:50,258
So you rent your place
and stay with us, all good.
266
00:10:50,301 --> 00:10:51,781
But why didn't you
tell my mom?
267
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,696
'Cause I love her
and I'm gonna marry her,
268
00:10:53,740 --> 00:10:55,916
but I'm still
kind of afraid of her.
269
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,309
Yeah, and just
a little heads up,
270
00:10:58,353 --> 00:11:00,311
that never goes away.
271
00:11:00,355 --> 00:11:02,662
Any chance we can
keep this between us?
272
00:11:02,705 --> 00:11:06,056
Aw, a Christmas lie.
273
00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:07,928
Now we really are family.Yeah.
274
00:11:12,323 --> 00:11:13,760
MARJORIE:
You did good, Bonnie.
275
00:11:13,803 --> 00:11:14,978
I'm proud of you.
276
00:11:15,022 --> 00:11:16,806
I don't think Taco Willy's
is a career,
277
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:18,939
but it'll keep Tammy
out of jail.
278
00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:20,549
I get that we're
being supportive,
279
00:11:20,592 --> 00:11:23,465
but we're not really
eating here, right?
280
00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:26,120
Why?
I love this place.
281
00:11:26,163 --> 00:11:29,732
♪ Home of the ten-inch taco.
282
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:33,910
God, there's so much
wrong with that.
283
00:11:33,954 --> 00:11:37,044
Welcome to Taco Willy's,
home of the... Hey!
284
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:38,567
What are you guys doing here?
285
00:11:38,610 --> 00:11:40,047
Just showing a little support.
286
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,745
Love the sombrero.Very jaunty.
287
00:11:42,789 --> 00:11:44,921
Thanks. A group
of high school kids
288
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,357
just bagged on me pretty good,
289
00:11:46,401 --> 00:11:48,272
so I forgot to include
their utensils.
290
00:11:49,317 --> 00:11:51,014
So, you liking
the job?
291
00:11:51,058 --> 00:11:54,322
I'm loving it. No one here
knows I was in prison.
292
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,759
I'm just Tammy.
From London.
293
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,285
Ooh, the manager's giving me the
hairy eyeball, order something.
294
00:12:01,329 --> 00:12:02,939
I'll have
the ten-inch taco.
295
00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:05,072
All right, mild or en fuego?
296
00:12:05,115 --> 00:12:06,943
Uh, what the heck, en fuego
me.
297
00:12:08,379 --> 00:12:11,426
You know what? Just give us
a-a number one, a number four,
298
00:12:11,469 --> 00:12:15,038
an eight, and the aforementioned
ten inches of hot magic.
299
00:12:16,170 --> 00:12:17,824
And diet sodas
all around.
300
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,608
Coming right up.
That's an uno,
301
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,479
a quatro,and an ocho.
302
00:12:21,523 --> 00:12:23,830
I'm learning Spanish here, too.
303
00:12:23,873 --> 00:12:25,527
All right, that'll be $21.58.
304
00:12:25,570 --> 00:12:28,356
Only $21?
305
00:12:28,399 --> 00:12:32,142
One of those things
had shrimp in it.
306
00:12:32,186 --> 00:12:36,016
You guys, thank you so much
for visiting me at my job.
307
00:12:36,059 --> 00:12:39,367
And on behalf
of Taco Willy's, gracias.
308
00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:46,287
Wow, these cookies
are a slam dunk.
309
00:12:46,330 --> 00:12:48,985
Oh, yeah? Want to see
a slammier dunk?
310
00:12:49,029 --> 00:12:51,727
Check out this
cookie jar. Look.
311
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:55,035
It's a bear that's a nurse.
312
00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:57,733
It's so tacky.
She'll love it.
313
00:12:57,777 --> 00:13:00,388
[phone rings]
314
00:13:00,431 --> 00:13:01,824
Hello?
315
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,871
Hi, Mark.
Did you get my check?
316
00:13:04,914 --> 00:13:06,742
Well, that's weird.
317
00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:09,049
Yeah, I-I'll take care
of that right away.
318
00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:11,442
Yeah, thanks. Bye.
319
00:13:11,486 --> 00:13:13,270
What's going on?
320
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,969
The check Adam gave me
for our wedding band bounced.
321
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:19,755
Checks bounce all the time.
Especially at Christmas.
322
00:13:19,799 --> 00:13:21,322
Doesn't mean anything's wrong.
323
00:13:24,281 --> 00:13:25,761
Huh.
324
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:29,417
All right, better get
wrapping on this.
325
00:13:29,460 --> 00:13:31,332
Unusual shape, could be tricky.
326
00:13:31,375 --> 00:13:32,855
Hold it.
327
00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,335
What do you know?
328
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:37,033
Nothing.Look at me.
329
00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:40,167
Adam's having money trouble
at the bar.
330
00:13:40,210 --> 00:13:41,864
How do you know?
331
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,953
He's renting out his apartment
for extra money.
332
00:13:43,997 --> 00:13:45,955
What? Why didn't
he tell me?
333
00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,652
I don't know.
334
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,918
He's afraid of you.
You're a scary person.
335
00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:53,528
Did he really say that?
336
00:13:53,571 --> 00:13:55,835
Stop it, that's all you're
getting out of me.
337
00:13:57,358 --> 00:14:00,448
Damn it. Your powers are strong
during the holidays.
338
00:14:04,713 --> 00:14:06,715
Hey, there she is.We need to talk.
339
00:14:06,758 --> 00:14:10,110
Wow, Christy couldn't even
last a day.
340
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:13,896
Don't blame her, she's weak.
How bad is it?
341
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,942
It's not that bad.
342
00:14:17,639 --> 00:14:19,554
It's bad.
343
00:14:19,597 --> 00:14:21,425
So why have you
been lying to me?
344
00:14:21,469 --> 00:14:23,863
I wasn't lying,
I was just protecting you.
345
00:14:23,906 --> 00:14:26,561
I mean, you didn't need to know
I'm losing eight grand a month.
346
00:14:26,604 --> 00:14:28,780
Eight grand a month?!
What the... [stammers]
347
00:14:28,824 --> 00:14:30,826
No, no, don't be scary.
348
00:14:34,221 --> 00:14:35,700
You know what?
349
00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:37,877
I don't even care
about the money.
350
00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,530
I care about you.
I care about us.
351
00:14:39,574 --> 00:14:41,576
I mean, what kind of marriage
are we gonna have
352
00:14:41,619 --> 00:14:43,621
if we don't share
the good and the bad?
353
00:14:43,665 --> 00:14:46,015
I know. I-It's just...
354
00:14:46,059 --> 00:14:48,104
I'm a guy who rode a
snowboard off a cliff
355
00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:51,107
and thisfeels like the
stupidest thing I ever did.
356
00:14:52,630 --> 00:14:55,024
Okay, walk me through
the worst-case scenario here.
357
00:14:55,068 --> 00:14:58,549
It's 3:00 a.m., you can't sleep
because you're seeing...
358
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,029
what?
359
00:15:00,073 --> 00:15:01,335
Well, the bar goes under.
360
00:15:01,378 --> 00:15:03,511
And?I'm completely humiliated.
361
00:15:03,554 --> 00:15:05,208
And?I've lost everything.
362
00:15:05,252 --> 00:15:06,731
Okay, but you haven't
lost everything,
363
00:15:06,775 --> 00:15:08,342
because I'm still
here with you.
364
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:09,865
Even if I'm broke?
365
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,519
Babe, I do broke
better than anyone.
366
00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:14,087
I got through
1991 on $11.
367
00:15:15,740 --> 00:15:17,351
So no more secrets, okay?
368
00:15:17,394 --> 00:15:19,179
You got to bring
this stuff to me.
369
00:15:19,222 --> 00:15:22,573
It's called intimacy, and
I'm told it's very important.
370
00:15:24,924 --> 00:15:26,708
Customers, customers,
go, go, go.
371
00:15:26,751 --> 00:15:28,710
Welcome to
AJ's Barrelworks.
372
00:15:28,753 --> 00:15:31,539
We have a very special beer
today, two for $8,000.
373
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,980
Okay, we have time
for one more share.
374
00:15:38,024 --> 00:15:40,330
Tammy, alcoholic.GROUP: Hi, Tammy.
375
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,376
Make that unemployed alcoholic.
376
00:15:42,419 --> 00:15:44,508
What? What happened?
377
00:15:44,552 --> 00:15:46,380
Everything was going
pretty good,
378
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:49,600
and then this homeless guy walks
up to the drive-through window.
379
00:15:49,644 --> 00:15:52,429
He's only got a dollar, but
big-hearted Tammy hooks him up
380
00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:54,692
with a Loco Loco Meal
and a 48-ounce Mountain Dew.
381
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,042
I mean, it's Christmas Eve.
382
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:58,174
Leave it to me
383
00:15:58,218 --> 00:16:00,263
to get fired for trying
to do something nice.
384
00:16:01,917 --> 00:16:04,137
So now I got to go
to my parole officer
385
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:07,357
with no job and nothing to
keep her from sending me back.
386
00:16:09,316 --> 00:16:11,448
Aw, hell...
387
00:16:11,492 --> 00:16:13,450
maybe that's best.
388
00:16:13,494 --> 00:16:16,018
I mean, if I can't keep
a job at a taco stand,
389
00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,846
there's no way
I'm staying out of jail.
390
00:16:20,153 --> 00:16:22,982
Anyway, I just wanted to say
thanks to you guys
391
00:16:23,025 --> 00:16:25,506
for being so welcoming
to me here
392
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,335
and being such great friends.
393
00:16:28,378 --> 00:16:30,859
I'm gonna miss you.
394
00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:37,039
So you don't currently
have a job?
395
00:16:37,083 --> 00:16:38,388
No, ma'am, I do not.
396
00:16:38,432 --> 00:16:41,130
Well, you're not leaving me
much choice here.
397
00:16:41,174 --> 00:16:43,045
You've been out eight weeks,
no proof of employment.
398
00:16:43,089 --> 00:16:44,699
I don't know how
I'm gonna be able...
399
00:16:44,742 --> 00:16:46,440
Is it too late?
May we speak?
400
00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:47,789
What is going on here?
401
00:16:47,832 --> 00:16:49,573
We are character witnesses
for Tammy Diffendorf.
402
00:16:49,617 --> 00:16:51,314
Counselor.
403
00:16:51,358 --> 00:16:54,274
Actually, I'm not
really a lawyer yet....Just talk.
404
00:16:54,317 --> 00:16:56,711
In the short time we have known
Tammy Diffendorf,
405
00:16:56,754 --> 00:16:59,235
she has proven herself
to be a reliable
406
00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:01,281
and law-abiding member
of our community.
407
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,761
She has joined
a 12-step program
408
00:17:03,805 --> 00:17:05,372
and everyone here
is willing to vouch for her...
409
00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:06,547
EVE:
Okay, stop.
410
00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:09,115
Okay? This is not
about character,
411
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:12,118
it's about employment,
and there's nothing I can do.
412
00:17:12,161 --> 00:17:14,424
Well, that is ridiculous.
I want to talk to your manager.
413
00:17:16,818 --> 00:17:18,298
This isn't Neiman's.
414
00:17:18,341 --> 00:17:20,822
Oh.
415
00:17:20,865 --> 00:17:24,086
I'm sorry, but if she
does not have a job,
416
00:17:24,130 --> 00:17:25,609
she'll goes back to prison.
417
00:17:25,653 --> 00:17:27,916
Okay? That's all
there is to it.
418
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:30,136
She does have a job.
419
00:17:30,179 --> 00:17:32,964
I need my porch painted. $300.
420
00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:35,619
And I need my gutters
cleaned out. $100.
421
00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,839
And I've got a big house.
Come over two times a week
422
00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:40,494
and we'll find
something wrong with it.
423
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:44,759
Now, these have to be real jobs.
424
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:47,849
I need to see invoices
and copies of checks.
425
00:17:47,892 --> 00:17:49,938
You'll get them.
We'll get her licensed,
426
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:52,114
put together a website,
get her business cards.
427
00:17:52,158 --> 00:17:54,682
Tammy's Handys.
428
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,249
We'll work on the name.
429
00:17:59,382 --> 00:18:03,038
I can't believe you guys are
doing this. Thank you so much.
430
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,562
So this is good, right? I don't
have to go back to prison?
431
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:08,043
I'll see you next Monday.
432
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,697
No, that's New Year's Eve.Take the win.
433
00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:11,264
Oh, yeah, Monday, Monday.
434
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,012
Nice!
435
00:18:21,056 --> 00:18:23,232
Okay, Gus, go mingle.
436
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,063
Nice crowd
for a Christmas Eve.
437
00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:31,849
Right? I guess.
Oh, what the hell do I know?
438
00:18:31,893 --> 00:18:35,549
Hey, I thought of a way
to take a little stress off you.
439
00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:39,205
I'd love to,
but I'm kind of busy.
440
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,337
Not that, you dumbass.
441
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,948
I'm thinking maybe
we kick the wedding bells
442
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,863
down the road a notch.
443
00:18:45,907 --> 00:18:48,039
You want to put the wedding off?
444
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:49,432
Not forever, it's gonna happen,
445
00:18:49,476 --> 00:18:50,781
but all the money
we're spending on that
446
00:18:50,825 --> 00:18:52,348
could be put into this.
447
00:18:52,392 --> 00:18:55,177
You sure?
448
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:58,963
Merry Christmas,
I'm not marrying you.
449
00:19:01,270 --> 00:19:04,578
I think my acid reflux
just went away.
450
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:07,537
I love you.
[chuckles]
451
00:19:07,581 --> 00:19:09,235
Hey, Bonnie,
you're missing all the fun.
452
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,801
I'll be right back.All right.
453
00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,370
Wow, nice jacket.
454
00:19:14,414 --> 00:19:15,545
Jill gave it to me.
455
00:19:15,589 --> 00:19:18,809
She said it was $25
and I believe her.
456
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:24,206
I love it, Bonnie.
It's purrrr-fect.
457
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:27,470
Please stop
saying that.
458
00:19:27,514 --> 00:19:30,560
My turn.Get ready.
459
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:34,085
Oh! A nurse cookie jar.
460
00:19:34,129 --> 00:19:35,696
Thank you.
461
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:37,219
Wait, look inside.
462
00:19:37,263 --> 00:19:40,483
And cookies, yum.
463
00:19:40,527 --> 00:19:42,485
Not just cookies.
464
00:19:42,529 --> 00:19:44,705
Those are your grandmother's
famous peppermint meringues
465
00:19:44,748 --> 00:19:45,923
she only made
at Christmas.
466
00:19:45,967 --> 00:19:48,056
My grandmother
never made cookies.
467
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,711
She was a drunk
who shot off her own toe.
468
00:19:50,754 --> 00:19:54,584
Well, your cousin Dominic
in Newark begs to differ.
469
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,325
I don't have
a cousin Dominic.
470
00:19:56,369 --> 00:19:58,545
What are you talking about?
471
00:19:58,588 --> 00:20:01,330
I found your whole mobbed-up
family on Facebook.
472
00:20:01,374 --> 00:20:02,940
Waste management?
Wink, wink.
473
00:20:02,984 --> 00:20:05,726
You got the wrong Wendy Harris,
474
00:20:05,769 --> 00:20:07,206
but thank you.
475
00:20:07,249 --> 00:20:09,208
It was really thoughtful.
476
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,818
Do yourself a favor and never
477
00:20:10,861 --> 00:20:12,733
talk about that side
of my family again.
478
00:20:16,519 --> 00:20:18,129
Open mine,
open mine.
479
00:20:18,173 --> 00:20:22,612
Ooh, I wonder who it's from.
480
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:26,050
Are You There, God?
It's Me, Margaret.
481
00:20:26,094 --> 00:20:27,617
Remember? You would
hide it under your mattress
482
00:20:27,661 --> 00:20:29,358
and we would read it
to each other every night.
483
00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:32,231
Tammy, I loved this book.
484
00:20:32,274 --> 00:20:33,536
Good job, honey.
485
00:20:33,580 --> 00:20:35,538
Yeah, you really
nailed Secret Santa.
486
00:20:35,582 --> 00:20:37,888
Oh, Jill,
487
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,368
they left the price tag
on this.
488
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:40,935
I know.
489
00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:50,945
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
490
00:20:50,988 --> 00:20:56,994
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
491
00:20:57,038 --> 00:21:00,041
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
33263
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
