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1
00:00:03.744 --> 00:00:05.277
Hi, Mikey. How you doing?
2
00:00:05.312 --> 00:00:06.712
Busy, busy, busy.
3
00:00:06.747 --> 00:00:08.447
Yeah, I can hear that, buddy. Listen...
4
00:00:10.151 --> 00:00:12.217
I need to talk to you about Kyle.
5
00:00:12.253 --> 00:00:16.288
I need to talk to you about
the meaning of the word "busy."
6
00:00:16.323 --> 00:00:18.557
I hear that you didn't
like the ad he posted
7
00:00:18.592 --> 00:00:20.492
for the HR position.
8
00:00:20.528 --> 00:00:22.661
No, I didn't. Did-did you read it?
9
00:00:22.696 --> 00:00:25.970
No. Okay, let's take a look here.
10
00:00:25.132 --> 00:00:27.933
All righty. "Sporting goods chain seeks
11
00:00:27.968 --> 00:00:30.669
"entry-level human
resources administrator.
12
00:00:30.704 --> 00:00:34.807
Must be friendly but, if not,
will teach how to be friendly."
13
00:00:36.310 --> 00:00:37.676
"Experience preferred.
14
00:00:37.711 --> 00:00:40.112
"But if you have no
experience, that's okay.
15
00:00:40.147 --> 00:00:43.282
You've probably been doing
other really interesting things."
16
00:00:44.819 --> 00:00:46.752
I-I think you're being
a little hard on him.
17
00:00:46.787 --> 00:00:49.188
I'm just asking him to do
his job like everybody else.
18
00:00:49.223 --> 00:00:52.624
Well, he can't be like
everybody else. He's Kyle.
19
00:00:52.660 --> 00:00:55.160
The world needs one of those.
20
00:00:55.196 --> 00:00:58.464
You know, that's what you
said about Charlie Sheen.
21
00:00:58.499 --> 00:01:01.767
I love the kid, too, but
he's just not working out.
22
00:01:01.802 --> 00:01:04.303
Hey, Mr. B. You wanted to see me?
23
00:01:04.338 --> 00:01:05.704
My cue to leave.
24
00:01:05.739 --> 00:01:08.707
Kyle, you're a very special person.
25
00:01:08.742 --> 00:01:10.209
No matter what anyone says,
26
00:01:10.244 --> 00:01:13.712
everything you do is correct.
27
00:01:13.747 --> 00:01:15.848
What was that about?
28
00:01:15.883 --> 00:01:18.884
He's dying.
29
00:01:18.919 --> 00:01:21.919
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen
www.addic7ed.com
30
00:01:25.759 --> 00:01:27.726
H-How do you feel things
are working out for you
31
00:01:27.761 --> 00:01:28.727
in Personnel?
32
00:01:28.762 --> 00:01:30.729
Uh, I don't know.
33
00:01:30.764 --> 00:01:33.999
I'd like it better if
we could hire everybody.
34
00:01:34.340 --> 00:01:36.201
Can we hire everybody?
35
00:01:36.237 --> 00:01:38.337
Hey, Baxter. I need you to sign off
36
00:01:38.372 --> 00:01:40.720
on the new security protocol manual.
37
00:01:40.107 --> 00:01:42.740
I already signed off on it.
It's on that flat piece of wood
38
00:01:42.109 --> 00:01:44.576
out there called your desk
that you're never sitting at.
39
00:01:44.612 --> 00:01:46.578
Okay, okay. Chill out.
40
00:01:46.614 --> 00:01:49.214
Someone woke up on the
wrong side of the coffin.
41
00:01:50.251 --> 00:01:51.984
Here's everybody.
42
00:01:52.190 --> 00:01:53.752
What's
crack-a-lackin'?
43
00:01:54.920 --> 00:01:56.160
That's how the kids used to say
44
00:01:56.190 --> 00:01:59.324
"What's going on?"
back in the early 2000s.
45
00:01:59.360 --> 00:02:01.260
Well, I'll tell you
what's going out is you,
46
00:02:01.295 --> 00:02:02.361
you denim-covered marshmallow.
47
00:02:02.396 --> 00:02:04.960
Take Chuckles with you. Come on.
48
00:02:04.131 --> 00:02:05.497
I have a deep, throaty laugh.
49
00:02:05.533 --> 00:02:06.732
I don't know where he
gets "Chuckles" from.
50
00:02:06.767 --> 00:02:07.900
"Denim-covered marshmallow."
51
00:02:07.935 --> 00:02:09.735
Ooh, I'm hungry.
52
00:02:12.773 --> 00:02:15.941
Okay. Look, I'm just gonna say it.
53
00:02:15.976 --> 00:02:18.610
I-I think you're too
nice to work in Personnel.
54
00:02:18.646 --> 00:02:21.780
I think you're too nice
to work at Disneyland.
55
00:02:21.815 --> 00:02:24.216
You know, but we'll
find a place for you.
56
00:02:24.251 --> 00:02:28.120
Where? You know, I-I've been in
Sales, uh, Shipping, Personnel.
57
00:02:28.155 --> 00:02:30.122
I wouldn't mind going back to Sales,
58
00:02:30.157 --> 00:02:33.580
but I just hired three guys.
59
00:02:33.930 --> 00:02:35.527
For the same job.
60
00:02:35.563 --> 00:02:36.929
Yeah, you're right.
61
00:02:36.964 --> 00:02:39.310
- Personnel is not working out.
- No.
62
00:02:39.660 --> 00:02:40.866
Maybe it's time I go with Plan B.
63
00:02:40.901 --> 00:02:42.601
Good, good. What's-what's your Plan B?
64
00:02:42.636 --> 00:02:45.771
Oh, that's the name of my
cousin's house painting company.
65
00:02:45.806 --> 00:02:47.406
You've probably seen their ads.
66
00:02:47.441 --> 00:02:51.243
Uh, "Plan B. When the
best is too expensive."
67
00:02:54.140 --> 00:02:56.582
Look, Outdoor Man is your family.
68
00:02:56.617 --> 00:02:58.217
We'll find a place for you.
69
00:02:58.252 --> 00:02:59.418
All right.
70
00:03:00.454 --> 00:03:01.720
Kyle.
71
00:03:01.755 --> 00:03:03.675
Listen, I don't know what
this man said to you...
72
00:03:05.192 --> 00:03:06.992
...but Charlie Sheen bounced back.
73
00:03:07.270 --> 00:03:09.461
So can you.
74
00:03:10.598 --> 00:03:12.397
- Oh, I-it's okay.
- Mm-hmm.
75
00:03:12.433 --> 00:03:15.300
Uh, Mr. B says we'll-we'll
find my place.
76
00:03:17.304 --> 00:03:20.138
You got to stop idolizing Charlie Sheen.
77
00:03:20.174 --> 00:03:21.807
Just trying to soften the blow.
78
00:03:21.842 --> 00:03:23.809
Listen, maybe we should
give him his old job back.
79
00:03:23.844 --> 00:03:26.144
You know, you know, gussy
it up a little with a,
80
00:03:26.180 --> 00:03:27.779
with a fancy new title.
81
00:03:27.815 --> 00:03:29.615
He was a floater.
82
00:03:29.650 --> 00:03:31.450
Executive floater, supervising floater.
83
00:03:31.485 --> 00:03:33.118
The only way to dress up a floater
84
00:03:33.153 --> 00:03:35.921
is with colored toilet paper.
85
00:03:35.956 --> 00:03:38.156
I just don't want to see
the kid hurt, that's all.
86
00:03:38.192 --> 00:03:41.260
Maybe we should give him a
job that he can't fail at.
87
00:03:41.610 --> 00:03:42.494
He just got married. He
wants to start a family.
88
00:03:42.529 --> 00:03:44.363
He needs a job that
can turn into a career.
89
00:03:44.398 --> 00:03:45.998
All right, look, if it's about money,
90
00:03:46.330 --> 00:03:47.866
- he doesn't have to worry.
- Well, of course he has.
91
00:03:47.901 --> 00:03:50.202
- He needs money. He's got to work.
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
92
00:03:50.237 --> 00:03:51.536
No, I-I haven't told him this yet,
93
00:03:51.572 --> 00:03:54.473
but I've been thinking of
putting Kyle in my will.
94
00:03:54.508 --> 00:03:55.807
- What?
- Yes, yes,
95
00:03:55.843 --> 00:03:57.509
he's the closest thing I have to family.
96
00:03:57.544 --> 00:04:00.712
You know, you have an actual family.
97
00:04:00.748 --> 00:04:02.447
I want to take care of the kid.
98
00:04:02.483 --> 00:04:04.616
Kyle's not the type of man
that wants to be taken care of.
99
00:04:04.652 --> 00:04:06.685
He's the type of man that
wants to take care of people.
100
00:04:06.720 --> 00:04:08.220
Okay. Fine, fine, fine.
101
00:04:08.255 --> 00:04:10.355
So I-I shouldn't put him in my will?
102
00:04:10.391 --> 00:04:13.258
No, do that. Then I won't
have to leave Mandy anything.
103
00:04:17.197 --> 00:04:19.364
- Hey.
- Hey. Where's Boyd?
104
00:04:19.400 --> 00:04:20.799
Oh, he's getting his
stuff out of the car.
105
00:04:20.834 --> 00:04:23.680
Listen, Boyd is gonna ask if
we can dog-sit for his friend.
106
00:04:23.103 --> 00:04:26.371
I told him no, and you
are going to back me up.
107
00:04:26.407 --> 00:04:28.600
Totally. Of course.
108
00:04:28.420 --> 00:04:29.408
What kind of dog?
109
00:04:29.443 --> 00:04:32.100
Uh, the kind we'd have to walk
110
00:04:32.460 --> 00:04:34.120
and feed and pick up after,
111
00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:35.747
which is a lot of work.
112
00:04:35.783 --> 00:04:37.149
United front, okay?
113
00:04:37.184 --> 00:04:38.517
Yeah, of course.
114
00:04:39.586 --> 00:04:41.553
Dad.
115
00:04:41.588 --> 00:04:43.989
So, my friend Jeff is going
to Utah with his family,
116
00:04:44.240 --> 00:04:46.425
and he asked if we would
take care of his dog, Murphy.
117
00:04:46.460 --> 00:04:48.193
Murphy? That's a really great name.
118
00:04:49.330 --> 00:04:51.730
He can catch a Frisbee
and throw it back.
119
00:04:51.765 --> 00:04:52.731
What? No way.
120
00:04:52.766 --> 00:04:54.266
I mean...
121
00:04:54.301 --> 00:04:57.336
no way am I gonna allow that.
122
00:04:57.371 --> 00:04:59.171
If you put a piece
of cheese on his nose,
123
00:04:59.206 --> 00:05:01.106
he won't eat it until
you say the magic word.
124
00:05:01.141 --> 00:05:02.941
- What's the magic word?
- "Eat."
125
00:05:03.977 --> 00:05:05.344
We got to get this dog.
126
00:05:05.379 --> 00:05:06.945
- Ryan!
- Thanks, Dad!
127
00:05:06.980 --> 00:05:08.613
I'm sorry, okay, Kris,
but you didn't tell me
128
00:05:08.649 --> 00:05:10.282
he was the coolest dog in the world.
129
00:05:10.317 --> 00:05:13.452
Please, Mom. If you point your
finger at him and say, "Bang,"
130
00:05:13.487 --> 00:05:15.870
he falls over.
131
00:05:15.122 --> 00:05:16.521
Okay.
132
00:05:16.557 --> 00:05:18.560
But you have to do all of the work.
133
00:05:18.920 --> 00:05:20.580
I will.
134
00:05:20.940 --> 00:05:21.626
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
135
00:05:21.662 --> 00:05:22.894
I'm gonna call Jeff.
136
00:05:25.265 --> 00:05:27.232
Okay.
137
00:05:27.267 --> 00:05:30.268
I think I, uh, messed up
the whole united front thing.
138
00:05:30.304 --> 00:05:31.536
Yeah, a little bit.
139
00:05:31.572 --> 00:05:33.138
But he falls over when you say, "Bang."
140
00:05:33.173 --> 00:05:34.453
I know. That's what got me, too.
141
00:05:36.343 --> 00:05:38.210
Hey, Mandy.
142
00:05:38.245 --> 00:05:39.611
What you up to?
143
00:05:39.646 --> 00:05:41.646
You're doing a crossword?
144
00:05:41.682 --> 00:05:44.483
Yes. Don't act so surprised.
145
00:05:44.518 --> 00:05:46.985
Alexa, what's the capital of Morocco?
146
00:05:47.200 --> 00:05:51.323
Morocco's capital city is Rabat.
147
00:05:51.358 --> 00:05:53.558
Rabat!
148
00:05:53.594 --> 00:05:56.628
So, who's doing the crossword?
149
00:05:56.663 --> 00:05:59.640
We're doing it together.
150
00:05:59.990 --> 00:06:03.668
She can do a lot of
things, but she can't write.
151
00:06:03.704 --> 00:06:06.505
You know, I had to pull
Kyle out of Personnel today.
152
00:06:06.540 --> 00:06:08.273
Why? And tell me the truth.
153
00:06:08.308 --> 00:06:11.760
Unless it's bad. In
that case, lie to me.
154
00:06:11.111 --> 00:06:13.745
Honey, it just wasn't
a good fit, you know?
155
00:06:13.781 --> 00:06:16.581
But I think I might have found
the perfect position for him.
156
00:06:16.617 --> 00:06:18.583
You know, he's good with people,
157
00:06:18.619 --> 00:06:20.585
and I'm thinking of Human Resources.
158
00:06:20.621 --> 00:06:22.320
Fred's out of town on vacation.
159
00:06:22.356 --> 00:06:24.423
I'm gonna let, uh, Kyle
fill in, learn the ropes.
160
00:06:24.458 --> 00:06:27.159
I think he's gonna be
perfect in that position.
161
00:06:27.194 --> 00:06:29.940
You have to stop doing this to him.
162
00:06:29.129 --> 00:06:31.290
Trying to help him with his career?
163
00:06:31.640 --> 00:06:32.431
That's how you see it.
164
00:06:32.466 --> 00:06:35.534
Kyle sees it as him failing
at one job after another.
165
00:06:35.569 --> 00:06:37.436
Well, sometimes it takes a while to...
166
00:06:37.471 --> 00:06:39.838
to match someone's skill set
with the right job, you know?
167
00:06:39.873 --> 00:06:44.376
Especially when their skill
set's as-as u-unique as Kyle's.
168
00:06:44.411 --> 00:06:46.378
Dad, listen,
169
00:06:46.413 --> 00:06:49.470
would you say we have
the perfect family?
170
00:06:49.820 --> 00:06:51.983
I'd say the top of that
pyramid's pretty solid.
171
00:06:52.190 --> 00:06:55.220
Well... to Kyle,
we are the perfect family.
172
00:06:55.255 --> 00:06:57.550
You know, compared to his.
173
00:06:57.900 --> 00:07:01.993
By that measure, the Mansons
look like The Brady Bunch.
174
00:07:02.290 --> 00:07:04.896
And sometimes, you know,
he feels like he's just...
175
00:07:04.932 --> 00:07:06.898
- not on our level.
- I know.
176
00:07:06.934 --> 00:07:09.167
He-He's been told his whole life
he'd never amount to anything,
177
00:07:09.203 --> 00:07:11.403
and I think that there's
a part of him deep inside
178
00:07:11.438 --> 00:07:12.971
that believes that.
179
00:07:13.600 --> 00:07:14.639
Do you believe that?
180
00:07:14.675 --> 00:07:16.740
No, of course not.
181
00:07:16.109 --> 00:07:18.410
Kyle's the best man I've ever met.
182
00:07:20.113 --> 00:07:24.820
I think you probably
mean the second-best man.
183
00:07:25.118 --> 00:07:26.551
No.
184
00:07:30.257 --> 00:07:31.723
I love Kyle. I believe in Kyle.
185
00:07:31.758 --> 00:07:33.158
What I'm trying to get
186
00:07:33.193 --> 00:07:35.894
is to get Kyle to believe in Kyle.
187
00:07:35.929 --> 00:07:37.896
You sure about this?
188
00:07:37.931 --> 00:07:40.650
'Cause I don't think he
can handle another failure.
189
00:07:40.100 --> 00:07:42.400
He's not gonna fail at this.
190
00:07:42.436 --> 00:07:44.836
- Okay. Thanks, Dad.
- You bet.
191
00:07:44.872 --> 00:07:46.438
You're the best.
192
00:07:46.473 --> 00:07:49.174
Oh, I think you mean second-best.
193
00:07:49.209 --> 00:07:52.430
Yeah.
194
00:07:59.418 --> 00:08:01.519
Hey, Kyle. How's it going?
195
00:08:01.554 --> 00:08:02.887
Oh. Hey, Mr. B.
196
00:08:02.922 --> 00:08:04.880
Ooh.
197
00:08:04.123 --> 00:08:06.824
Does Mandy know that
you have another family?
198
00:08:06.859 --> 00:08:09.260
Oh, that's-that's Fred's family.
199
00:08:09.610 --> 00:08:10.194
I've been answering a lot
200
00:08:10.229 --> 00:08:11.695
- of questions today.
- Good, good, good.
201
00:08:11.731 --> 00:08:15.166
Most of them were, "Where's Fred?"
202
00:08:15.201 --> 00:08:16.800
You got this. You got this.
203
00:08:17.703 --> 00:08:20.237
Hey, Mike.
204
00:08:20.273 --> 00:08:21.338
Well, look who showed up,
205
00:08:21.374 --> 00:08:23.274
Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass.
206
00:08:24.544 --> 00:08:25.843
Good one, Baxter.
207
00:08:25.878 --> 00:08:27.440
King of zings!
208
00:08:28.314 --> 00:08:31.150
Where's Fred?
209
00:08:31.500 --> 00:08:32.850
Oh, uh, he's on vacation.
210
00:08:32.885 --> 00:08:34.919
Well, look, just tell him we stopped by.
211
00:08:34.954 --> 00:08:37.121
- Yeah.
- Or don't.
212
00:08:37.156 --> 00:08:38.789
- Uh, never mind.
- Uh, hey, wait.
213
00:08:38.824 --> 00:08:40.291
Uh, is there a problem?
214
00:08:40.326 --> 00:08:43.260
Because, if there is, I'm
supposed to help solve it.
215
00:08:43.296 --> 00:08:45.262
Well, we'd like to file a complaint
216
00:08:45.298 --> 00:08:46.530
- against someone.
- Yeah.
217
00:08:46.566 --> 00:08:48.265
Oh. That's too bad.
218
00:08:48.301 --> 00:08:49.700
Uh, give me a second.
219
00:08:49.735 --> 00:08:51.702
We have a form for that.
220
00:08:51.737 --> 00:08:56.207
Okay, and who are we filing
the complaint against?
221
00:08:56.242 --> 00:08:59.310
- Mike Baxter.
- Mike Baxter.
222
00:09:00.513 --> 00:09:03.314
Where's Fred?
223
00:09:06.118 --> 00:09:08.285
- Oh, I can't get over how cute he is.
- Oh.
224
00:09:08.321 --> 00:09:09.620
- Come here. Hey.
- Is he here? Oh!
225
00:09:09.655 --> 00:09:11.255
Okay.
226
00:09:11.290 --> 00:09:13.424
I got everything on the
list, including his dog food.
227
00:09:13.459 --> 00:09:17.261
Happy to see that, like
me, he's gluten-free.
228
00:09:17.296 --> 00:09:18.762
But he's wearing fur.
229
00:09:18.798 --> 00:09:20.764
You should talk to him about that.
230
00:09:21.701 --> 00:09:23.167
A pig's ear.
231
00:09:23.202 --> 00:09:25.169
- Gross and cool.
- Okay.
232
00:09:25.204 --> 00:09:27.400
Come on, Boyd. Let's
go put that stuff away.
233
00:09:27.390 --> 00:09:29.600
Okay.
234
00:09:29.410 --> 00:09:31.742
So, Murphy, what should we do first?
235
00:09:33.212 --> 00:09:34.211
Oh!
236
00:09:35.140 --> 00:09:36.447
Stay?
237
00:09:36.482 --> 00:09:38.150
Kris? Honey?
238
00:09:38.500 --> 00:09:40.618
Uh, can you come in here
for a second, please?
239
00:09:40.653 --> 00:09:42.453
Did he shake your hand?
240
00:09:42.488 --> 00:09:45.189
I know. It's adorable.
241
00:09:45.224 --> 00:09:48.192
No, he was, um...
242
00:09:48.227 --> 00:09:50.361
Was he totally fine with you in here?
243
00:09:50.396 --> 00:09:53.797
Of course. Who's the best
dog in the whole world, huh?
244
00:09:53.833 --> 00:09:56.267
- You are. You are.
- Okay.
245
00:09:56.302 --> 00:09:58.302
Are you okay with him?
246
00:09:58.337 --> 00:10:00.804
Yeah. Of course. Fine.
I'm great with animals.
247
00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:02.539
President of the 4-H Club.
248
00:10:02.575 --> 00:10:05.175
Trimmed a badger's nails once.
249
00:10:05.211 --> 00:10:07.878
Okay. I'm gonna go start dinner.
250
00:10:07.913 --> 00:10:08.812
Great.
251
00:10:08.848 --> 00:10:11.215
Oh.
252
00:10:11.250 --> 00:10:13.183
Why don't you do that when
other people are in the room?
253
00:10:13.219 --> 00:10:14.818
Do you know how personal that seems?
254
00:10:16.255 --> 00:10:17.988
Bang?
255
00:10:18.240 --> 00:10:19.323
Yeah, no, didn't think so.
256
00:10:29.101 --> 00:10:31.235
I forgot. Uh, who was it again
257
00:10:31.270 --> 00:10:32.536
you wanted to file a complaint against?
258
00:10:32.571 --> 00:10:34.471
Uh-huh. For the fifth time,
259
00:10:34.507 --> 00:10:36.473
Mike Baxter.
260
00:10:36.509 --> 00:10:37.875
But what's to complain about?
261
00:10:37.910 --> 00:10:39.143
His hair's too full?
262
00:10:39.178 --> 00:10:41.512
His eyes are too blue?
263
00:10:41.547 --> 00:10:42.913
No, he's too mean, okay?
264
00:10:42.948 --> 00:10:44.848
And you're a little too much in love.
265
00:10:46.185 --> 00:10:47.184
I'm a Marine.
266
00:10:47.219 --> 00:10:48.419
I can deal with a few insults.
267
00:10:48.421 --> 00:10:49.586
What I can't deal with
268
00:10:49.622 --> 00:10:51.588
is someone demeaning
me in front of my staff.
269
00:10:51.624 --> 00:10:53.590
You know, it's the same
thing at the garage.
270
00:10:53.626 --> 00:10:55.592
He goes out of his way
to call me slow and lazy,
271
00:10:55.628 --> 00:10:58.629
but he... never calls
to see how I'm doing.
272
00:10:59.899 --> 00:11:02.433
He doesn't mean anything by it.
273
00:11:02.468 --> 00:11:04.234
Uh, Mr. B talks to everyone that way.
274
00:11:04.270 --> 00:11:08.605
I saw him call a Girl Scout
a "cookie-peddling socialist."
275
00:11:08.641 --> 00:11:10.674
Joe, this is a waste of time.
276
00:11:10.710 --> 00:11:12.876
He's the boss's
son-in-law.
277
00:11:12.912 --> 00:11:14.345
You're right. Look, we
don't want any trouble.
278
00:11:14.380 --> 00:11:16.180
- Let's get out of here.
- Oh, yeah. Hang on.
279
00:11:16.215 --> 00:11:18.849
Okay, according to HR policy,
280
00:11:18.884 --> 00:11:20.718
once I've been informed of a complaint,
281
00:11:20.753 --> 00:11:22.720
I have to...
282
00:11:22.755 --> 00:11:25.189
"initiate a grievance hearing."
283
00:11:25.224 --> 00:11:27.925
Oh, that sounds serious.
284
00:11:27.960 --> 00:11:30.594
Grievance hearing... with Mike,
the king of zings?
285
00:11:30.629 --> 00:11:32.963
Oh, hell no.
286
00:11:32.998 --> 00:11:34.965
And since Fred's out of town,
287
00:11:35.000 --> 00:11:37.101
I have to run the mediation.
288
00:11:37.136 --> 00:11:39.136
Oh, hell, hell no.
289
00:11:39.171 --> 00:11:41.739
Look, let's just, let's just
wait till Fred gets back.
290
00:11:41.774 --> 00:11:44.875
It doesn't sound like you're
the right man for our case.
291
00:11:44.910 --> 00:11:46.877
Uh, maybe, you know, 'cause
what you're describing
292
00:11:46.912 --> 00:11:49.580
just doesn't sound like
the Mike Baxter that I know.
293
00:11:49.615 --> 00:11:52.716
Hey... guys, leave Kyle alone.
294
00:11:52.752 --> 00:11:54.718
He's trying to make a name for himself.
295
00:11:54.754 --> 00:11:56.920
You already have your
names. What-what are they?
296
00:11:56.956 --> 00:11:58.922
Tweedle Dee.
297
00:11:58.958 --> 00:12:01.525
Tweedle Dumbass.
298
00:12:03.496 --> 00:12:05.929
I love being the boss.
299
00:12:08.367 --> 00:12:10.734
Gentlemen...
300
00:12:10.770 --> 00:12:12.770
I'll take the case.
301
00:12:18.910 --> 00:12:21.144
Yeah. Come in, Kyle. What's up? Come in.
302
00:12:21.179 --> 00:12:22.545
Um, you know, I was hoping
303
00:12:22.580 --> 00:12:24.313
- I could get your advice.
- Yeah.
304
00:12:24.349 --> 00:12:27.316
As you know, I'm-I'm manning
the HR desk while Fred is away.
305
00:12:27.352 --> 00:12:30.386
And you found something in his drawer?
306
00:12:30.421 --> 00:12:34.230
Pills, booze, or a girlie magazine?
307
00:12:35.426 --> 00:12:37.527
Oh, I saw this coming.
308
00:12:37.562 --> 00:12:41.497
What? No. No, the only thing
in Fred's drawer is a Bible.
309
00:12:41.533 --> 00:12:44.133
He's a good man, that Fred.
310
00:12:44.169 --> 00:12:46.200
Yeah. I-I agree, and that's why
311
00:12:46.370 --> 00:12:48.871
I'm thinking it might be better
to wait for him to get back
312
00:12:48.907 --> 00:12:50.706
before HR deals with a complaint.
313
00:12:50.742 --> 00:12:53.409
There's been a complaint?
314
00:12:53.444 --> 00:12:55.978
Was it from that tall guy in shipping?
315
00:12:56.140 --> 00:12:58.915
I swear to God, I thought
his name was "Stilts."
316
00:12:58.950 --> 00:13:01.551
No, no. The-the complaint
is not about you, sir.
317
00:13:01.586 --> 00:13:03.186
Oh.
318
00:13:03.221 --> 00:13:06.989
But it does concern somebody
at the highest level.
319
00:13:07.250 --> 00:13:08.224
Mike.
320
00:13:08.259 --> 00:13:11.360
Oh, I-I really can't say.
321
00:13:11.396 --> 00:13:14.897
But if I could say, I would say "yes."
322
00:13:14.933 --> 00:13:17.166
You really can't sit
on a complaint, Kyle.
323
00:13:17.202 --> 00:13:19.902
That's how they fester.
You can't wait for Fred.
324
00:13:19.938 --> 00:13:22.104
You've got to take
care of this right away.
325
00:13:22.140 --> 00:13:24.774
But Mr. B, he's
my father-in-law.
326
00:13:24.809 --> 00:13:28.244
I mean, in a way, we're related.
327
00:13:28.279 --> 00:13:31.247
That doesn't matter. Sit-sit
down, sit down, sit down. Sit.
328
00:13:31.282 --> 00:13:33.216
Yeah, you have a bright future.
329
00:13:33.251 --> 00:13:36.520
I see great things
for you. Great things.
330
00:13:36.870 --> 00:13:39.589
I bet one day you'll be living
in a house just like mine.
331
00:13:41.159 --> 00:13:43.125
Just exactly like mine.
332
00:13:43.161 --> 00:13:45.528
Oh, I don't think so.
333
00:13:45.563 --> 00:13:47.797
I don't give a damn what you think.
334
00:13:47.832 --> 00:13:49.732
And I'll bet you'll have
a vineyard like mine.
335
00:13:49.767 --> 00:13:52.680
Exactly like mine.
336
00:13:52.103 --> 00:13:56.105
And a coin collection, hmm?
337
00:13:56.140 --> 00:13:57.540
I-I can't think about my future.
338
00:13:57.575 --> 00:13:59.750
I mean, all I can think about
339
00:13:59.110 --> 00:14:01.430
is not wanting to have
to run this hearing.
340
00:14:01.790 --> 00:14:02.445
I understand, but whoever
filed this complaint
341
00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:03.879
came to you for help.
342
00:14:03.915 --> 00:14:06.916
This is your chance
to take care of others.
343
00:14:06.951 --> 00:14:09.785
Ooh. Okay.
344
00:14:09.821 --> 00:14:11.487
- Hmm?
- I'll do it.
345
00:14:11.522 --> 00:14:13.222
Yeah. Okay.
346
00:14:13.258 --> 00:14:15.157
Listen to your heart, Kyle.
347
00:14:15.193 --> 00:14:17.960
One day you'll be sitting
in that mountain cabin
348
00:14:17.996 --> 00:14:21.597
remembering this as the day
you took control of your future.
349
00:14:21.633 --> 00:14:23.899
- Hmm?
- Well, if that's true,
350
00:14:23.935 --> 00:14:26.269
I just hope it's as nice as your cabin.
351
00:14:30.141 --> 00:14:32.800
It will be, son.
352
00:14:32.430 --> 00:14:34.443
You'll see. Exactly.
353
00:14:35.947 --> 00:14:37.913
Okay.
354
00:14:37.949 --> 00:14:40.182
Uh, I call to order
this grievance hearing.
355
00:14:40.218 --> 00:14:42.785
Uh, the complainants are
Chuck Larabee and Joe Leonard,
356
00:14:42.820 --> 00:14:45.321
henceforth known as
"aggrieved parties," against...
357
00:14:45.356 --> 00:14:47.356
Witch hunt!
358
00:14:49.360 --> 00:14:52.795
- Uh, Mr. Baxter.
- Fake news.
359
00:14:54.732 --> 00:14:58.267
Okay, uh, Mr. Baxter, uh, you're
what we call "out of order."
360
00:14:58.303 --> 00:14:59.969
You're damn right he's out of order.
361
00:15:00.400 --> 00:15:02.838
The only thing that works
on that guy is his mouth.
362
00:15:02.874 --> 00:15:05.410
Okay. Okay, uh, Mr. Leonard,
now you are out of order.
363
00:15:05.760 --> 00:15:07.209
Okay, our policy states
that when a participant
364
00:15:07.245 --> 00:15:09.312
violates protocol, I'm required
365
00:15:09.347 --> 00:15:11.681
to put a black mark in
their personnel file.
366
00:15:11.716 --> 00:15:13.816
Why's it got to be black?
367
00:15:17.755 --> 00:15:19.755
It's the only one I have.
368
00:15:21.492 --> 00:15:22.892
Uh, "X."
369
00:15:22.927 --> 00:15:24.960
"X" marks the dummy.
370
00:15:24.996 --> 00:15:27.830
Hey. Oh, you've just
given me a perfect example
371
00:15:27.865 --> 00:15:29.632
of what we call "crosstalk."
372
00:15:29.667 --> 00:15:31.200
Now, to avoid crosstalk,
you'll only speak
373
00:15:31.235 --> 00:15:32.635
when I've given you the signal.
374
00:15:32.670 --> 00:15:34.737
So, uh, Mr. Larabee.
375
00:15:35.840 --> 00:15:37.907
Oh, this finger is the signal, so...
376
00:15:39.162 --> 00:15:40.682
I'm giving you a signal with my finger
377
00:15:40.712 --> 00:15:42.111
under the table right now.
378
00:15:43.348 --> 00:15:44.714
See that?
379
00:15:44.749 --> 00:15:47.183
See that? Mike Baxter
is a sarcastic bastard
380
00:15:47.218 --> 00:15:49.352
who thinks he can say whatever he wants.
381
00:15:49.387 --> 00:15:52.154
He ought to have that smug
smirk wiped off his face
382
00:15:52.190 --> 00:15:54.900
with a closed fist.
383
00:15:55.259 --> 00:15:57.260
Oh, dear. Okay. What to do
384
00:15:57.610 --> 00:15:59.829
when the aggrieved uses
inflammatory language.
385
00:15:59.864 --> 00:16:02.898
This thing needs an index.
386
00:16:02.934 --> 00:16:04.433
Wait a minute. Is that
what this is about?
387
00:16:04.469 --> 00:16:06.168
I hurt somebody's feelings?
388
00:16:06.204 --> 00:16:08.404
Hey, I can't even enjoy
a bear claw at work
389
00:16:08.439 --> 00:16:11.730
without being
called... and I quote...
390
00:16:11.109 --> 00:16:13.275
"Joe-bese."
391
00:16:13.311 --> 00:16:16.110
That's body shaming,
that's what that is.
392
00:16:16.470 --> 00:16:18.130
You're a size-ist. Put that
in his record. Write that...
393
00:16:18.490 --> 00:16:20.282
Hey, hey. Hey, okay,
all right. First of all,
394
00:16:20.318 --> 00:16:21.917
I decide when to mark the X's.
395
00:16:21.953 --> 00:16:24.387
And second of all, I
didn't point at any of you.
396
00:16:24.422 --> 00:16:26.789
So... X, X, X.
397
00:16:26.824 --> 00:16:28.900
Ooh.
398
00:16:28.126 --> 00:16:29.558
That's two X's for you.
399
00:16:29.594 --> 00:16:32.728
Even your file's becoming Joe-bese.
400
00:16:32.764 --> 00:16:34.263
Okay, gentlemen, the
purpose of this hearing is
401
00:16:34.298 --> 00:16:36.532
to give everyone a chance
to be heard, all right?
402
00:16:36.567 --> 00:16:38.981
If you keep speaking out of order,
then-then no one gets heard.
403
00:16:39.120 --> 00:16:40.652
Listen, you're-you're
an ex-Marine, right?
404
00:16:40.671 --> 00:16:41.360
Mm-hmm.
405
00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:43.806
You know, I'm sure I'm not the
only one to call you a bonehead.
406
00:16:43.841 --> 00:16:45.126
That was, like, your rank, wasn't it?
Bonehead?
407
00:16:45.157 --> 00:16:45.474
Mr. B...
408
00:16:45.510 --> 00:16:47.943
My drill sergeant could
kill a man with his thumb.
409
00:16:47.979 --> 00:16:49.712
- What you got?
- Guys...
410
00:16:49.747 --> 00:16:51.447
- Hmm?
- I was told there'd be dinner!
411
00:16:51.482 --> 00:16:53.658
'Cause you haven't eaten
in what, five minutes?
412
00:16:53.689 --> 00:16:54.383
Mr. Baxter!
413
00:16:54.419 --> 00:16:56.275
No. I just want a crudité platter.
That's all.
414
00:16:56.306 --> 00:16:56.986
Please.
415
00:16:57.210 --> 00:16:58.877
Look, I'm dealing with a
snowflake and a snowball.
416
00:16:58.908 --> 00:16:59.341
Man...
417
00:16:59.357 --> 00:17:02.925
Okay, everybody shut up!
418
00:17:02.960 --> 00:17:04.593
Okay, we are gonna have this hearing
419
00:17:04.629 --> 00:17:06.595
in accordance with the proper procedure.
420
00:17:06.631 --> 00:17:07.963
- Nah...
- This is all...
421
00:17:07.999 --> 00:17:09.398
Okay, now you will respect the pointer.
422
00:17:09.434 --> 00:17:10.834
- I don't think...
- Do you hear me?
423
00:17:10.835 --> 00:17:13.269
Respect the pointer!
424
00:17:13.304 --> 00:17:14.804
I don't know about you fellas,
425
00:17:14.839 --> 00:17:17.840
but I'm gonna respect the pointer.
426
00:17:17.875 --> 00:17:19.842
Keep reading.
427
00:17:19.877 --> 00:17:22.411
You know what?
428
00:17:22.447 --> 00:17:24.413
Forget the binder.
429
00:17:24.449 --> 00:17:26.849
Okay? I want you all
to look at each other
430
00:17:26.884 --> 00:17:29.852
and think about the
mean and dismissive words
431
00:17:29.887 --> 00:17:31.854
that you've used at this meeting.
432
00:17:31.889 --> 00:17:34.356
Okay? Like "bastard" and "bonehead"
433
00:17:34.392 --> 00:17:36.459
and "crudité."
434
00:17:41.799 --> 00:17:43.866
Look, that's not how
coworkers talk to each other.
435
00:17:43.901 --> 00:17:45.835
And it's definitely
not how friends should.
436
00:17:45.870 --> 00:17:48.537
At Outdoor Man, we're not
just coworkers, all right?
437
00:17:48.573 --> 00:17:51.640
We're not just friends. We're a family.
438
00:17:51.676 --> 00:17:54.844
And it's time you guys
started acting like one.
439
00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:05.200
See? See? I told you
guys he could do it.
440
00:18:05.560 --> 00:18:07.122
No, I told you he could do it.
441
00:18:07.158 --> 00:18:09.580
Well, we both told each other.
442
00:18:09.930 --> 00:18:11.727
Well, can someone tell me what I did?
443
00:18:11.762 --> 00:18:14.463
Baxter put us all up to
this. There's no complaint.
444
00:18:14.499 --> 00:18:16.465
The man does have a mouth on him,
445
00:18:16.501 --> 00:18:18.567
but I wouldn't go
running to HR. I'd just...
446
00:18:18.603 --> 00:18:21.637
- cut his brake lines.
- Yeah, yeah.
447
00:18:21.672 --> 00:18:24.206
Well, what, so this was a setup?
448
00:18:24.242 --> 00:18:26.675
Yeah, I wrote all those
fat jokes. Those are mine.
449
00:18:26.711 --> 00:18:28.770
It was good, too. It wasn't a setup.
450
00:18:28.112 --> 00:18:29.712
It was more of a test, you know, and,
451
00:18:29.747 --> 00:18:31.213
Joe, Chuck, I appreciate what you did.
452
00:18:31.249 --> 00:18:34.316
Look, I do know your names,
but now, get back to work.
453
00:18:34.352 --> 00:18:37.586
And that "size-ist" thing...
totally improvised that myself.
454
00:18:37.622 --> 00:18:40.155
I had a whole monologue planned.
455
00:18:40.191 --> 00:18:42.191
I was gonna cry.
456
00:18:43.728 --> 00:18:45.661
- Ah.
- So...
457
00:18:45.696 --> 00:18:47.363
- if this was a test...
- Mm-hmm.
458
00:18:47.398 --> 00:18:48.764
...did I pass?
459
00:18:48.799 --> 00:18:52.201
Well, um, how do you think you did?
460
00:18:52.236 --> 00:18:55.371
Well, I don't mean to boast,
but I think I got a solid "C."
461
00:18:55.406 --> 00:18:57.390
- Yeah.
- Ah.
462
00:18:57.740 --> 00:19:00.409
I think I'll give you an A-plus.
463
00:19:00.444 --> 00:19:01.777
I'm a little tougher than Ed.
464
00:19:01.812 --> 00:19:03.779
Um, I'll give you an A-plus, too.
465
00:19:03.814 --> 00:19:07.349
Listen, you know how people
should be treated, right?
466
00:19:07.385 --> 00:19:09.718
And that gooey...
dare I say...
467
00:19:09.754 --> 00:19:12.788
liberal heart of yours
is why I put you in HR.
468
00:19:12.823 --> 00:19:14.290
It's where you belong.
469
00:19:14.325 --> 00:19:16.258
Thank you.
470
00:19:16.294 --> 00:19:19.228
All right, I'm gonna go
call my cousin at Plan B.
471
00:19:19.263 --> 00:19:21.300
He's gonna have to do some cheap,
472
00:19:21.650 --> 00:19:23.232
second-rate house painting without me.
473
00:19:23.267 --> 00:19:24.767
Perfect.
474
00:19:24.802 --> 00:19:27.403
Oh, that kid. Ah. Oh, man.
475
00:19:27.438 --> 00:19:30.139
- We did a good job of that.
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
476
00:19:30.174 --> 00:19:31.907
Hey, by the way, uh... I don't know.
477
00:19:31.943 --> 00:19:33.275
- You know, it's, uh...
- Yeah.
478
00:19:33.311 --> 00:19:35.544
...hard to say, but am I in your will?
479
00:19:36.981 --> 00:19:39.548
Look at you, look at you,
480
00:19:39.584 --> 00:19:42.184
thinking that I'm going to die first.
481
00:19:53.832 --> 00:19:55.673
Uh, Vanessa, I have a
science question for you.
482
00:19:55.703 --> 00:19:57.336
Well, I'm kind of rusty,
483
00:19:57.371 --> 00:19:59.905
which is what happens when
iron is exposed to oxygen.
484
00:20:01.475 --> 00:20:04.900
I'm not rusty. It's just so fun.
485
00:20:04.440 --> 00:20:08.447
Um, whenever I'm alone with
Murphy, he growls at me.
486
00:20:08.482 --> 00:20:10.820
What? That doesn't make sense.
487
00:20:10.117 --> 00:20:12.217
He's such a
fuzzy-fuzzy-fuzzy...
488
00:20:12.253 --> 00:20:13.952
Yeah, no, I got it.
He's fuzzy-fuzzy-fuzzy.
489
00:20:13.988 --> 00:20:17.220
Um, he's only not growling right
now because you're in the room.
490
00:20:17.570 --> 00:20:20.125
Oh. Well, there is a scientific
way to figure this out.
491
00:20:20.160 --> 00:20:22.427
Uh, I will just step out of the room.
492
00:20:22.463 --> 00:20:25.530
- Here.
- Okay.
493
00:20:25.566 --> 00:20:28.634
Uh, yup, he's doing it.
494
00:20:30.671 --> 00:20:33.605
Okay, uh, well, what are the,
uh, what are the variables?
495
00:20:33.641 --> 00:20:35.274
You're the only man in the house.
496
00:20:35.309 --> 00:20:37.776
Yeah. Could be... could be my voice.
497
00:20:37.811 --> 00:20:39.211
All right, well, hey,
498
00:20:39.246 --> 00:20:42.214
try-try speaking to
him in a higher pitch.
499
00:20:42.249 --> 00:20:43.815
Uh...
500
00:20:43.851 --> 00:20:47.486
Hi, Murphy. I'm a lady.
501
00:20:49.657 --> 00:20:51.123
What the hell is happening?
502
00:20:51.158 --> 00:20:52.924
Science experiment.
503
00:20:52.960 --> 00:20:54.626
Okay, what else? Oh...
504
00:20:54.662 --> 00:20:56.495
Oh, dogs are pack animals.
505
00:20:56.530 --> 00:20:58.930
Maybe you need to establish
yourself as the alpha.
506
00:20:58.966 --> 00:21:01.333
- Growl back at him.
- Really?
507
00:21:01.368 --> 00:21:03.769
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the same
thing I told you about Mike.
508
00:21:03.804 --> 00:21:06.738
Okay, uh...
509
00:21:11.812 --> 00:21:15.347
Oh, okay. No.
510
00:21:15.382 --> 00:21:18.417
Oh, my God, Ryan. It's
your hat. He hates your hat.
511
00:21:18.452 --> 00:21:19.785
Yeah, it's my hat.
512
00:21:19.820 --> 00:21:21.353
- Yeah.
- Of course it's my hat.
513
00:21:21.388 --> 00:21:24.656
He doesn't hate me. I'm adorable. Yeah.
514
00:21:24.692 --> 00:21:26.792
Somebody with a hat must have scared him
515
00:21:26.827 --> 00:21:28.193
when he was a puppy.
516
00:21:28.228 --> 00:21:30.529
Ah, congratulations. Of course, it means
517
00:21:30.564 --> 00:21:33.310
- you have to get rid of that hat.
- So what?
518
00:21:33.670 --> 00:21:35.334
I'll just give it to Mike
and introduce him to Murphy.
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