Original subtitles

LADY L

Sir Percy, look over there.

It is too bad. Come along, gentlemen.

It was only the year before last that the police came...

Thank you, you drove beautifully. If anyone tells you otherwise, -

- you're not to believe them. Is that clear?

Honestly, Louise.

I can't bear it when you're angry, so I'll go back where I came from.

- Shuttleworth... - No, no... Shuttleworth.

I'm not angry with you, dearest Louise.

Who could ever be angry with you? Must I remind you of your birthday?

- I don't know, Percy. Must you? - Eighty... Eighty years old.

It's magnificent. Many happy returns of the day.

- And so say all of us, what? - Happy birthday, Mother dear.

- Who's that? - Gilbert.

- Gilbert who? - Your son, Gilbert.

Yes, the one I never recognize.

Are there any more sons of mine here?

- They're all indoors. - I'm sorry I didn't recognize you.

I saw you, but I didn't notice you.

What a wonderful old lady she is.

Yes.

Great news. My publisher's ecstatic. I'm to start your biography now.

Lady L: The Portrait of a Great Lady is the title already chosen for it.

I am intensely proud to place my humble talents at your disposal.

My darling Louise.

For she's a jolly good fellow...

And so say all of us.

- Why do you look so pained? - I love music.

And now, may we have a little silence, please?

It was under this very dome, on that rotunda...

That Edwin Garland Daubony Fitzmaurice Dane-Brown...

...9th Duke of Lendale...

...confronted the Roundheads in the year of grace 1648.

- Uttering the glorious words... - I want some cake.

- Uttering the glorious words... - I want some cake.

See? He wants some cake. Do hurry up.

Here we have Louise, a Frenchwoman.

I'm sure she'll forgive my putting it that way. Yet she, this woman...

With a different background, and other habits, -

- in marrying a Lendale, became as devoted to an adopted cause -

- as any native-born member of this ancient stock!

I have in my hand a telegram from Buckingham Palace.

Even this is addressed to the beloved, if inaccurate, nickname -

- the whole of England knows you by, "Lady L."

- My dear family and friends. - Just a little more this way.

Just a trace of a smile, no laugh. I told you to avoid the neck.

There is only one thing I am unable to deny -

- in dear Percy's flattering address. That is that I am French.

Naturally, I am very pleased with my family. While Percy was talking, -

- I counted four generals, an admiral, a bishop, -

- a minister of the Crown, a governor of the Bank of England.

And a few black sheep. Without them, no respectable family is complete.

French look! Straight at the camera.

Naughty, naughty.

But of course, the one who gives me the greatest comfort is Alfred.

At least Alfred knows what he wants, like his grandma.

I want some cake too, Alfred. Alfred and I both want some cake.

They've done you proud. But you deserve it.

There's the Tatler, Field, the leader in the Horse and Hound.

- The Times. - I didn't see the Times.

There's nothing in it. That is their way of being very complimentary.

- Well done, youngster. Well done. - You love England, don't you?

It's a state of mind, you know? A state of soul.

"That sweet intangible. That most dear something, always...

...inches out of reach. " As I once wrote.

You've wrote that more than once. That's why they knighted you.

I expect so.

There you are, Nanny. Run him out!

Thank you very much, Sir Percy. We musn't forget it's only a game.

Appearances... The more she wants to win, -

- the more she pretends to not mind losing. That's England, too.

You wicked foreigner. That's one of our best kept secrets.

I can't say I dislike appearances. Society couldn't exist without them.

I'm so glad you think so. Come.

- Where to? - My summerhouse.

You haven't invited anyone in there since...

Since Dicky died, I know. I want you to be the first.

- Are you in love with me, Percy? - You know I am.

I haven't replaced your mother?

That was cruel. I only lost Mama last year.

At the age of 98. She nearly made her century.

I'm a little young as a replacement, but I'll do my best. Come in.

Why... I hardly dare.

To write my biography, you must.

I'll teach you something about appearances.

Close the door, Percy.

Can't I draw the curtains? Pity, the one sunny day in the year...

Switch on the light.

Good heavens. You don't sleep in here, do you?

- With whom? - Incorrigible...

Please, forgive me. What's that?

A bomb.

Settle down, you're making me nervous.

It's not the bomb exactly.

Just the red light... I'm not used to it.

Give in to it. It's cheap and vulgar.

Don't resist it if you want to learn about appearances. Real appearances.

- Are you ready? - Yes.

I was born Louise Baldinucci, in Pietra Bianca, Corsica.

You're Corsican? Like Bonaparte? I didn't know.

Napoleon came from a neighboring village.

I did better than he.

I invaded England and conquered it. Alone.

Before I conquered England, I had to do what he did: conquer France.

Why red lights, you asked.

I'll try to explain.

My people came to Paris when I was a baby. They were very poor.

From my earliest youth, I delivered laundry. Much of it to a house.

- This was not a house, but a house. - I don't follow.

Full of girls of all shapes and sizes.

- And of every nationality. - A finishing school?

Are they called that here?

Well, one day, the clients hadn't arrived yet...

Clients? Good gracious!

Did you work in a..? No, I cannot believe it.

- Don't smoke. - All right ladies, to your rooms.

- Not you, Louise. You stay here. - Why? She's only a laundress here.

I have my reasons.

We'll be victimized until we organize a union.

- That's enough. Go into your rooms! - Long live socialized love!

Socialized love? What next?

Vote for women? I wouldn't be surprised.

Louise, you are in luck. No peeping!

You are to His Excellency's fancy. Gerome, Minister of the Interior.

- Isn't that wonderful? - Yes.

You may come out, Your Excellency. Discretion is assured.

Mademoiselle.

I congratulate you on your beauty. But I congratulate nature even more.

Louise, do you realize..?

Am I to understand that you find me amusing?

Perhaps my manner is excessive.

But that is only because of my fine education.

- Your Excellency... - She calls me by my name.

I don't belong here.

I deliver the laundry. Lacoeur always keeps me waiting.

He encourages me to join the house by introducing me to old gentlemen.

- Why do you run away from me? - I don't want to catch your cold.

The best wines try our patience. It is a sin to drink them too soon.

- But when they are ready... - I don't follow.

That hardly surprises me. I fought a duel this morning.

Because my wife's lover insulted my mistress, who is his wife.

You can see that I will stop at nothing to satisfy honor.

If Lacoeur should hurt your feelings after I've gone, -

- do not hesitate to communicate with me at this address.

In fact, do not hesitate even if Lacoeur fails to hurt your feelings.

Well, I will see myself out since I'm incognito.

Your Excellency...

- What are you waiting for? - My receipt.

You see, ladies? That's what I call solidarity.

Louise, you're a comrade.

If I stay here, I would be. They call this a house of joy.

Where's the joy? It's sad, sinister.

You're very young, Louise. You still believe in the right man.

There is no right man. Only right men and wrong men.

You say that because you were afraid to wait.

I know what he will look like.

He wouldn't be too small, so that I overpower him.

Or too tall, so that I can mother him at times -

without looking ridiculous.

He'll never stoop to anything low.

Unlike my father, he won't drink or smoke. He'll be wonderfully healthy.

You've thought of everything. I suppose he'll be immensely rich?

I don't care about wealth, but I know he'll be clean and tidy, -

- because he'll be married to a laundress. He'll attract attention.

And make other men jealous.

Now. I repeat, now.

Message received. Over.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

- Is it him? - Would a real clerk go to a bank?

That piece of paper he dropped isn't blowing away like the others.

Bomb! Bomb!

Whistle.

Forwards! Let's go to the bank.

- Come on, let's go! - The old tramp, they've got him.

Where's the chief? You are the chief? I want the chief.

It's gone. 65,000 francs that Buisset sets aside for his jockeys.

- His jockeys? - A little quiet, please. Chief?

It's him, Armand! Let's go. After him!

Quickly!

- Your receipt, and don't come back. - Don't be so hard on her.

She dreams of Prince Charming, but will settle for a millionaire...

Police? Come on, let's go.

- I think you've made a mistake. - We can always rectify a mistake.

- Get in to bed. - No.

It's loaded. I won't hesistate to use it.

- You're not the type. - I'm desperate.

- I'm sorry. - Please get in bed?

- That's different. You said please. - Did I? I've got a gun in my hand.

You'd better hurry. Please, hurry.

- Come on. - You're very polite.

- I was told to be as a little girl. - Do you do everything you're told?

- Prince Charming... - Prince? What's the matter now?

All right, Armand...

I beg your pardon, Your Excellency. It won't happen again.

All illusion lost!

All right... pardon!

- Belleceour! Why are you here? - I'm on special duty.

Special duty? See me in my office after lunch. Continue, Mademoiselle.

All right, Armand. The game's up.

Good morning, Mademoiselle.

- You dare enter without knocking? - Police. We knock after entering.

Armand, get out of bed.

I advise you to lie still. He may be armed.

- Who are you? Do you work here? - I've just started.

I have no choice. I must tell them.

Your Excellency, you'll be shot by mistake.

- Your Excellency? - Gerome, Minister of the Interior.

Your chief. Do you dare go through the Minister's pockets?

If you really are the Minister, why does your coat reek of gunpowder?

- He fought a duel, this morning. - The Prime Minister, in the woods.

- Again? - Every week.

It's a coalition government.

Would you answer a few questions?

Go away. Take your men with you.

You have a surprisingly rough voice this morning.

He caught cold at the duel. Didn't you, Ambroise, mon cheri?

I had to fetch him an aspirin.

And a glass of water.

We were only doing our duty. You may count on our discretion.

- Armand Denis. - Louise Baldinucci.

- What a pleasure! - Be careful, I'm watching you.

- And I am watching you. - Stop watching me.

- Wherever my men go, yours follow. - Turn around, and you'll follow us.

We may not want to.

- Now you're asking too much. - Never tamper with my dignity.

A policeman is as sensitive about dignity as a crook about honor.

I did it. 65,000 francs in broad daylight.

Right under Mercier's nose. I don't want it.

No, you don't, Helga.

- Come on, line up. - They'll all retire now.

- Can't you see what you're doing? - Let's have it.

Champagne for everyone.

Don't thank me, thank Lacoeur.

To celebrate your good fortune, tonight there'll be a concert.

Krajewski will play.

I'm going with a friend. I'll invite him back here.

Plan Eight.

Wait for the applause. We don't want to be accused of interrupting music.

Plan Eight.

Tell him.

I will now perform another work...

...of our great Polish national composer, Fr�d�ric Chopin.

A work expressing his pain...

...at the occupation of our beloved country by a cruel, foreign power.

That's an insult.

"The Revolutionary Etude. "

This is too much.

Long live free and independent Poland.

Damnation!

What do you want with me?

To invite you to a small reception in your honor.

That is most kind of you, but I find myself unable to accept.

But you must.

You are agents of the Russian government.

Do it quickly if you have charity. Long live Poland.

What hotel are you staying in?

Do it here. It is a respectable hotel where they hate noise.

Your dresser will go to your hotel. We will safely take you there later.

- But who are you, then? - Music lovers. Come.

- Who's this? - Krajewski's dresser.

He only speaks Polish.

- I can translate if you wish. - I'm in no position to shut you up.

Please, go ahead.

A man and a woman kidnapped Krajewski.

A beautiful woman?

Ledoux, go to the Moulin Bleu. Arrest Armand Denis and the girl.

I'll be along presently.

Dublaron!

- What's that? - It's my corset.

That? I'm never without him.

I've had him since I was a child. He lives in my laundry basket.

Nobody move!

- Have you searched the house? - Quiet. Please.

- Have you? - Not yet.

Why the devil not?

You yourself told us not to move until the applause.

It is "Prelude number 15 in D flat major" by Fr�d�ric Chopin.

Nice to know you're all right.

All right? I've never been so happy in my life.

At last, an audience worthy of my genius.

- But you were kidnapped. - Rubbish.

I received a cordial invitation, which I was most happy to accept.

He said you were threatened.

You accept my dresser's word against mine?

And now dear friends, dear ladies, I really must fly to Barcelona -

and Beethoven.

- Excuse me. Can I have a taxi? - A police car is at your disposal.

- We will have it followed. - You are most kind, all of you.

That's all, that's all.

- Where's Armand? - I haven't seen him all evening.

Where are you going? Inspector?

I assure you...

I beg your pardon.

What's the matter, Inspector?

Forget my remark, and remember only this.

In France, a man cannot be arrested at home in the hours of darkness.

Article 76 of the constitution!

But at 6 a. m. this tolerance ceases. You have until then to leave Paris.

I have warrants for the arrest of Armand Denis, Baldinucci and you.

- Why me? - Don't wait to find out.

I will surround this house and have you blasted!

I have received reinforcements, and I have army units at my disposal.

If you know what's good for you, get out!

Mercier. Inspector.

For your information and safety, your clock is one minute slow.

Chief, this gentleman wishes to drive to the house.

All right, if he insists.

Ledoux, signal to the Alpine troops that there are seven minutes left.

What are you doing there?

- Good morning, Inspector. - Your Excellency.

That is the house?

I was up early in any case. Trouble in the Bois de Boulogne.

Am I safe here?

I'd move just a little further back. These are desperate men.

I want no harm to come to the girls. Is that clear? To any of them.

Yes. Louise Baldinucci...

Especially not her. She's misguided.

I will cross-examine her personally in my office.

Why the soldiers...

...everywhere?

I want to apologize for getting you down here so early.

Surrender, Armand. Avoid bloodshed.

I had to say goodbye. My mother taught me to be polite.

Farewell Excellency, Inspector. You are nothing if not thorough...

Incredible impertinence. Are you sure you have him?

Positive. There is no possibility of their escape.

We even have men in the sewers.

Dublaron.

Thanks to the horseless carriages, if they break through our ring -

they wouldn't go farther than...

And now, I suppose you'll be asking me for flying machines?

Balloon! Balloon!

HOTEL DE VILLE

It's beautiful, but I'm homesick.

We'll soon be back. I'll take you on a big job.

Thank you very much.

Meanwhile, I'm hungry.

Come here. When you're out of reach you get practical.

- I'll shut these. - No, I like the rain.

- I'm cold. - Come here.

- Move over, the roof is leaking. - I can't move over.

We're in touch with nature. We'll die of starvation together.

Children will read the tragic story of Armand and Louise.

- Fine. But first change places. - You want me to get soaked.

Armand.

- I hate you when you're practical. - I'm not practical, I'm hungry.

- You want me to get a proper job? - I could take in laundry.

Shaming me into it? Come here, washerwoman.

Goodbye. Don't forget your pills.

Shut the door.

Shut the door.

- Wait in the cafe. - I want to talk to you.

If you won't wait, come in and be quiet.

Raise your left hand.

And I promise to abide by the decisions of the Central Committee.

And I promise to abide by the decisions of the Central Committee.

That's why you wanted me to go to the cafe.

Welcome to our brotherhood. You are now "Brother Bobkowitz. "

We'll draw lots in the usual way -

- to find out who will assassinate Prince Otto of Bavaria in Nice.

- No wonder they call me unlucky. - Bernard.

Mother of God! The shame!

That means, Brother Bobkowitz, that one of us is the lucky one.

We forget disappointments quickly. That's the strength of the movement.

Here are your sealed orders.

Not to be opened until dawn, Friday.

- The bomb. - Of course, the bomb.

The bomb with the new "K" type, perfected by a Prussian brother.

It's twice as light as the "Q" type, with four times its explosive power.

- Let me handle it... - Let me, since I'm using it.

It's too heavy.

The Central Committee approves it.

Well, I'm telling you it's too heavy.

It's crazy. A nail-size bomb can do more damage.

Spare us the story of how you blew up the bank.

You have nothing to boast about. You never managed to assassinate anyone.

Why must every discussion become personal?

Later. Dinner... Louise?

- You want me to..? - I borrowed some spaghetti.

Take your hat off. You stink of tobacco, your nails are filthy.

- All false values. Bourgeoise! - I have just two things to say.

Armand can't go to France, he's wanted there by police.

The police look for us everywhere.

And the second thing I want to say, this goes for you too, Armand...

I'm going to have a child.

You talk of taking life when I'm busy producing it.

Why have a child in an unjust world?

Shut up! You've never been in love. I can see it in your face.

I've been in love, but I don't recognize you anymore.

You used to smile before a job. Then I knew it would be all right.

Now you sit there looking grim, obeying the rules of these clowns.

- Well, I'm going to give it a try. - Your oath binds you for life.

- Leave us. Go into the corridor. - We can only leave when it's dark.

All right, I'll go. But I warn you. You've changed him. In this mood, -

- he'll be no good to your movement. He'll fail, and take you with him.

I've never failed at anything.

You've started now. You'll fail as an assassin and as a father.

- Do you know what you're saying? - Exactly. I'm as stubborn as you.

- I can't live someone else's dream. - Neither can I.

- Wait for me in the cafe. - No.

Give Armand my love, if you find him, Brother whatever-your-name-is.

Cook the spaghetti only 10 minutes, or you'll ruin that as well.

You have work to do, Brother. Remember your oath.

Tickets are sold on board.

Allow arriving passengers to align first, please.

Come along, children.

Good afternoon, Mademoiselle.

- Where are you going? - You have nothing to fear.

This is Switzerland.

- Why are you here? - I'm on holiday.

All alone?

I'm a bachelor.

Don't contemplate returning to France. That would be rash.

No.

May I offer you a glass of wine?

I'm sorry.

You may offer me something to eat.

You told Lacoeur you were jealous.

Any policeman is jealous of those who are free to disobey.

Robbing the rich to give to the poor is charming.

But don't let Armand's crimes become ugly. For all our sakes.

- Mademoiselle. - Oui, Monsieur.

The Swiss police know an attempt may be made on the life of Prince Otto.

When he visits Nice, next Friday.

I need a bomb.

- For your personal use? - An empty one. I need it tonight.

- A "Q" type? - A "K" type.

A "K" type, are you sure? Are they already in use?

I don't know if my Swiss colleagues possess one, but I'll do my best.

How can we manage it? I don't want to know your address.

I might remember.

I tell you what, I'll leave it in care of Krajewski.

- Is he here? - He plays at the casino, tonight.

- How wonderful. - I hate music.

But his concerts are exciting.

And now, as an encore...

...I hope to be able to play for you yet another work...

...by our great Polish composer, Fr�d�ric Chopin.

"The Revolutionary Etude. "

Dear Mademoiselle. Let us lose no time. I must catch my train.

But first, these arrived for you. To which I'd like to add this.

- What is it? - You were my impresario in Paris.

And I give always my impresario 10% of my share.

Fifteen hundred francs?

- I'm an overpaid artist. - Who told you I needed it?

The music-loving police chief of Paris informed me -

- if I didn't repay my debt, I might have difficulty re-entering France.

I'll repay it all some day. Thanks.

- I'd like a room. - I'm afraid the hotel is full.

Excuse me.

I see.

Yes, Your Grace. Very well.

We may have one left. An unexpected cancellation.

A small suite, with boudoir, bath, and balcony overlooking the square?

I hope not too small.

I think you'll find our small suites are considerably larger -

- than other hotels' large suites. May I add your name to the register?

The Countess of Camoens.

Of course. I beg Madame's pardon. Her picture is in the social pages.

Nationality?

Profession? None, of course.

Widow.

I'm so sorry. It was a tragic occurrence, indeed.

Page, take the Countess' bags.

Not that one.

It's my late husband, the Count. If you understand me?

A beautiful thought.

Here is your suite, Countess.

Drop it.

Leave it and go.

- Hello. - I hope I didn't frighten you.

- When? - I screamed.

Some women have no other form of self-expression.

I was married to a Spanish gypsy. She broke a blood vessel screaming.

What's in that bag? A bomb?

Balcony overlooking the place where Otto receives the keys to the city.

He'll be a sitting duck up there.

That's what I'm painting now. The assassination of Otto.

Otto and the assassin are put in later. Difficult, assassinations.

The subjects never stay still.

- Are you a professional painter? - I'm a professional duke.

And an amateur at everything else. Dicky Lendale is the name.

- I'm the Countess of Camoens. - The Portuguese poet?

- He was my husband. - You still mourn? He died in 1580.

- He was my husband's grandfather. - Even that is quite remarkable.

The Camoens must be late developers. Despite your grief, lunch with me.

You're not having lunch with anyone else?

I can show you some pieces from my collection.

- Is this by you? - No, that is a Rembrandt.

Not a very good one, so your mistake is understandable.

Now, this is a Boucher.

A minor master of painting, but a major master of the erotic.

We had many such paintings in Paris.

I'd like to have known the Count.

- The Count, my late. - Yes, your late.

These are Egyptian scarabs, of the third millenium.

My late father stole them while liberating Egypt from the Turks.

Their size makes them easy to steal.

- Why do you say that? - Because my father stole them.

Each is valued at over 100,000 pounds. Ridiculous, isn't it?

Ten families could live in comfort forever if they had one of those.

It's immoral.

I hoped you would say that.

Luncheon?

They told me the hotel was full.

It is full. It's full of us.

Yours aside, I have all the others.

- I'm not used to neighbors. - How can you afford it?

I have independent means.

- And no wife? Didn't you say..? - I had a wife.

A magnificent woman, but I couldn't take her home.

The Queen didn't approve of gypsies. England would have killed Dolores.

All the soap and chlorinated water. No rhythm, only snoring in clubs.

I hope I did the right thing.

- What did you do? - I set her up in a cave in Granada.

- I hope she's happy. - Are you telling me the truth?

Would you recognize the truth?

- You're not a real duke, either. - What do you think I am?

- A great criminal. - Interesting. What am I doing here?

Money is of no interest. You've made your fortune... but you're lonely.

- Intelligent and correct. - Now you want a mistress.

Utterly wrong, I want a wife.

- Odd way of proposing, isn't it? - Are you proposing to me?

Most men end up with a compromise. Why not take it from the beginning?

How romantic.

I'm merely being honest. I haven't told one lie yet.

- Think it over. - There's nothing to think over.

- I'm in love with someone else. - So soon after your husband dies?

You didn't murder him?

- You said yourself he died in 1580. - I see. You're not a real countess.

You didn't think for a moment I was.

I think you are what you thought I was: a liar, a trickster, a thief.

How dare you! Oh, my God.

You're not pregnant, are you? My dear Countess, you must marry me.

Carry the Countess to her room.

I'll swap your bag for the scarab.

I wonder which one you chose. That one? That's the smallest.

Also the most valuable. Others fall for the largest.

Other widows occupied this suite. Some of them...

Some agreed to marry me at once, but they weren't what I wanted.

What do you do with us? Do you murder us, is that it?

There's no sport in murder. You'll see, we'll watch the assassination.

- I want to go. - If you wish.

I can't prevent it. But I'll be awfully sorry to see you leave.

Don't feel guilty about the scarab. I tempted you deliberately.

But then, after all, I am a duke.

You know what that means. My family started stealing earlier than most.

Before I forget: If you should decide to accept my proposal, -

perhaps you ought to know -

- they don't give me long to live. So it's quite a good offer.

Don't close the window.

There! I bet that's the killer.

Over there, in the grey suit. With the white hat.

That's Mercier, Chief of Police.

Well, I was damned close, wasn't I?

Why do you try to find a wife in this extraordinary way?

It may seem curious, but I don't trust my own emotions.

For 1,500 years, Lendales have been marrying their own kind out of duty.

Occasionally, they marry each other.

How can you expect me to love?

I'm sure you can, and do.

My sister likes setting buildings on fire, mostly when people are inside.

She tried it at Buckingham Palace once. Luckily it rained that day.

I don't trust the seed.

We've been mad for generations, but nobody says it. We're too rich.

I'm the last Lendale. Unfortunately, I hate being last of anything.

You want a son, not a wife.

In our society, to have one you must have the other. I do want a wife.

I hope to find someone with a memory of a greater love than I can give.

What I can offer is comfort, friendship. I think I'm a kind man.

The father of my son is going to kill Otto today.

Listen, the procession is already on its way.

I'll bargain with you. If I save him from the police, you marry me.

We have to find him first. My private train is waiting.

If all goes well, we'll go to Italy. My servants will mix with the crowd.

- How about my bargain? - You really are a sportsman.

- Find him. - Thank you.

- He looks likely. A young priest. - That's not him.

He hasn't even got a tonsure. I bet that is him.

- A policeman just passed him. - That sounds like him.

By the stout lady, with the boy in the sailor suit.

I agree to your bargain.

Gentlemen, let's go fishing.

Armand!

Don't forget your oath.

The bomb.

You talk during "The Marseillaise"? That's like gossiping at mass.

- What are you waiting for? - Do it.

- I don't want to lose my temper. - Go on, throw the bomb.

Throw it.

Everybody, heads down!

What luck, the aim was perfect, too.

We haven't a moment to lose. Don't forget your bomb this time.

Where is the bomb?

Over there!

After them! After them!

No shooting, please. Come inside, it's more comfortable.

Hold your fire! Hold your fire, I say.

M. de la gare. Telephone the frontier. Get them to close it.

- They just opened it for the Duke. - Well, tell them to close it!

I apologize for Yamamoto and Ishii. They will constrict you, -

until we are safely into Italy.

- What's the matter? - My head.

- Don't come near me. - We're near the frontier.

It might help if I show my face.

For the Retired French Customs Officers' Fund.

For the Retired Italian Customs Officers' Fund.

- Paris orders the frontier closed. - What are you waiting for?

Clear the track, idiots. Make way.

Clear the tracks, you imbeciles.

Who made you dress as a widow?

I lost my husband to the Anarchist International.

And the fine clothes and jewels? Consolations from our hero rescuer?

Krajewski gave me the money.

- I don't believe a word you say. - I do. That's where we differ.

Would you shut your mouth? I'm speaking to my wife.

I feel I have a right to speak. I just asked your wife to marry me.

And she accepted on condition I saved you from the police.

Typical. I suppose she forgot to say she is carrying my child.

No. I thought she needed a father instead of an overgrown schoolboy.

Life can be exquisite in its choice of punishments.

- Your son will one day be a duke. - A duke? Never!

- It's a good career for a boy. - All this for money.

You say money corrupts. It corrupts those who don't have any, like you.

I'll prove it. Why did you adopt that silly disguise?

- Orders. - Any means justify the end.

Any disguise is permissible in the attainment of our aims.

Article 22 of the Anarchists' Manifesto.

- How do you know? - I follow the field.

- That article will destroy you. - May one ask how?

- Yes, how? - By money.

We're going to my palace in Rapallo. An exquisite hunting lodge is there.

You can stay, with free meals. Plan your next coup in comfort.

- How about it? - No.

A member of the ruling classes wants to help us.

- Who are we to deny him? - Don't do it!

- You couldn't even throw your bomb. - It wasn't mine, it was her bomb!

- We accept. - Armand, you're outvoted.

Like great scientists and artists, great anarchists need a patron.

Luncheon.

I hope you're hungry after today's excitement.

We have real turtle soup, smoked sturgeon, baron of beef, and, -

rather tactlessly, bombe glac�.

By the way, which of you gentlemen will be saying grace?

Engineer Vegliotti has constructed a bomb -

- in accord with the best tradition of Italian ballistic science.

The first thing you observe is that the bomb is not round, but oval.

Here's the woman. Hide the bomb.

I brought you these.

- I stole them. - From him?

Yes. They're worth 4 million francs.

- At least. - Congratulations, my dear.

We can make many bombs with the money from these stones.

We must realize the money at once, before the theft is discovered.

I'll take them to Mariacci, our most reputable jeweler for stolen gems.

- I'll come with you. - I, too.

- I also... speak Italian. - We'll go by different ways.

We will all go the same way.

- You're not angry with me, are you? - Yes.

No.

Louise, I've been a complete fool. I was mad to believe in those fools.

I was mad to ever let you leave me.

- I was afraid you'd kill someone. - So was I.

You look magnificent. You don't want me to take you?

I'm sorry. He's so looking forward to it.

- Any monarchs going to the opera? - None that I know of.

- Armand is going for the music? - He adores it.

- Things have changed. Wait... - I'm late already.

My carriage is waiting for you. Take off the necklace and the earrings.

You gave them to me.

Since it's a special occasion, I want you to wear something special.

There, I give them to you.

You know that anything I possess is yours for the asking.

- I cannot accept them. - I insist.

Don't pretend to steal things in the future.

- It's such a waste of time. - How did you find them?

Like all collectors, I have contact with antique dealers and jewelers.

Mariacci said he had some new emeralds and diamonds.

I wasn't very interested, until I perceived that mine were missing.

- I'm sorry. - You think you've been so clever.

- Dicky, kiss me. - Certainly not.

I don't approve of gratitude as a sentiment. I see too much of it.

I don't know what to do. There are moments I can't live without him.

- I think there always will be. - I can't help you, Louise.

- I can't even help myself. - You can't?

People never understand themselves until it's too late to do anything.

I ask myself: Would I be so attached to you -

- if you weren't so attached to somebody else?

Come on, you'll miss the overtures.

- What are you wearing? - It's the same necklace.

He bought it back and gave it to me.

We can sell it again! I'll take it to Tagliacorte.

- He'll give us a better price. - You can't. Now it's mine.

Yours? And you accepted it? Stop the carriage.

Get out. Get out of there.

Please, sir. I beg you.

I'm an old, poor lady. Please.

This is not true.

This is not true.

Congratulations, Armand, my hero.

You've done what you've always wanted to do: kill someone.

Louise. Louise.

Louise.

Allow me to present myself. Mercier, Chief of Police in Paris.

Oh, yes...

This is my friend and colleague, Col. Peracca, of the Carabinieri.

Please sit down, gentlemen.

- What can I do for you? - We have recovered your jewels.

On a corpse.

- On a corpse? - Of an old beggar woman.

- We must ask Louise some questions. - Impossible. She's far from well.

Then we must arrest her and question her in the prison hospital.

You can't.

You see, Your Grace. We know Louise was wearing your jewels.

We know exactly what happened. We have your coachman's deposition.

It's his word against mine. Louise spent the evening with me.

- Are you sure? - Are you accusing me of lying?

A duke is incapable of lying.

He has... lapses of memory. Are you sure she was with you?

I should know where she goes, I intend to marry her.

Marry her? But I understand she's expecting a child.

Well? Really, Inspector. And you're the Police Chief of Paris.

- May I offer you something? - With pleasure. Armand Denis.

Where is he hiding?

- I haven't the faintest idea. - Inspector Mercier.

You shouldn't, in your condition.

I know why they are here, Dicky. There's nothing to protect now.

- You want Armand Denis? - I've already told them.

I said he is at the Villa Chilerio, on the road to Genoa.

- Villa Chilerio... - No need to repeat it.

We understood you the first time.

Louise.

Dicky... Dicky, the perfect gentleman.

You won't even allow me anything on my conscience.

Mercier.

Welcome to Their Graces. Three cheers to Their Graces.

Hip-hip-hooray! Better than that. Hip-hip-hooray!

Here we are. Not exactly intimate, but it's home.

- Welcome home, Your Grace. - Thank you. It's good to be back.

The nursemaids are waiting. With your permission...

With your permission, Your Grace...

Miss Heatherstone, the head nurse.

Miss Wheelwright, the night nurse.

Miss Godalming, the under-nurse.

Miss Bell, the in-between nurse.

- Am I supposed to chose one? - Gracious, no. We take the lot.

I want to look after the child myself.

For the sake of appearances, we must have at least four. I had eight.

Let's be having you. Miss Godalming, a bath, please. Luke warm to cold.

Let's not make you a sissy, My Lord.

Let's meet my mother.

The Dowager Duchess is waiting for you in the Wellington Room, -

- which, if you remember, is this way. It's quite a long walk.

- Their Graces, Your Grace. - Mother.

Mother?

Mother, I'd like to present my wife, Louise.

Louise, meet my mother, the Dowager Duchess of Lendale.

My aunt, Ernestine, Lady Bott.

My other aunt, the Marchioness of Pittlochrey, and my third aunt, -

Honoria, Lady Poke.

How long haven't you seen your mother?

- 18 years. - And you don't kiss her?

- Bath time. - Five more minutes, Nanny.

If we break the routine, it may affect His Lordship in later life.

- A rolling stone gathers no moss. - Don't you bathe him too often?

Cold water hardens the lad. We don't want him a faint heart, do we?

In France, we don't bathe every day.

That explains a great deal, if you don't mind my saying so.

- What do you mean? - India, Africa, Canada.

Come on, My Lord.

Mind over matter. Grin and bear it.

Dicky.

Dicky.

- I haven't seen you for days. - You're exaggerating.

- We met yesterday morning. - We met by chance, in a corridor.

Louise, the world isn't divided into the rich and the poor, -

- but into helpers and the helped. We are both helpers.

- We are wasted on each other. - In a way, that's true.

He may come back, that good-looking, incompetent, muddleheaded jackass.

If he does, I won't have him in the house. His friends are too noisy.

My darling, I'm going to build you a summerhouse, over there.

Then both of us will always know where to find you.

I think there is a good spot. Or over there, by the lake.

You've made this room most charming.

I don't know why, but it reminds me of a room I knew in Rome, or Paris.

I think it needs a double bed instead of these two singles.

Come along, Giles. Visit the horses instead of bathing.

- Nanny won't look in the stables. - Righto, sir.

Only call me "sir" in front of the servants.

Don't you think I'm going to look like him? Come along.

Maestro.

No applause till the end of the piece, Madame.

What are you doing here? Your coat is covered with mud.

- How did you get in? - I climbed over your wall.

- Why? - I bring you a message.

- Armand? - Exactly.

He wants you to give a masked ball, on the 7th of March.

- That's the day we met. - Invite all celebrities in England.

- Armand is in prison. - France has a new president.

He is eager to be popular.

He has decreed a general amnesty for all political prisoners.

- Armand is free? - Yes.

- Supper. - My dear.

I want you to meet the President of France and the Prime Minister.

- What's the matter with you? - It's a lovely party, isn't it?

Prime Minister, meet my wife.

How do you do? I've heard so much about you.

And M. Gerome, President of the French Republic.

Welcome to this...

...to this house, M. Gerome.

Sorry, Dick. I'm not feeling well.

She's not quite herself tonight.

Everyone knows I never speak ill of anyone. But I heard that she...

Armand?

Armand.

I have been looking for you.

- I've come to take you away. - Kiss me. Hold me in your arms.

Strange... Time. You haven't changed at all.

- Don't let me go. Kiss me again. - No, not yet.

- What's the matter? - Take off that necklace.

I'm sorry, my darling. I've had it on my conscience for so long.

You weren't to know that beggar would die of shock.

- What I did was unforgivable. - But you are still wearing them.

What can I tell Dick? He'll see it's gone.

You're not going back to the ball, you're coming with me, as you are.

You're no longer rich...

...nor a duchess.

In Paris, you're going to help me with the greatest coup of my career.

Dynamite the police archives. All the evidence will go sky-high.

And no criminal in France will have a record.

- We'll hit where it hurts. - I'll hide the dynamite.

I'll tell Mercier I have information about anarchists.

- I have a better idea. - You're smiling, it can't go wrong.

Armand Denis?

Louise Baldinucci?

- Why are Sapper and Lecoeur here? - You know why.

...will you kindly take your partner for... "The Gallop".

My necklace...

My jewels! They're gone!

They've stolen my tiara!

- Stay here. - What are you going to do?

Quiet! Quiet, everyone.

No one is to leave. Jewel thieves are operating among you.

Don't panic. I am Mercier, of the Paris police.

That is a lie! Armand Denis, lay down your gun!

- David... - Don't anybody move.

- This is what comes of amnesties. - Do something, Mercier.

What are you waiting for? Gladiators?

- Look. Look what we got. - Later. If you follow, I'll shoot.

I do beg your pardon. My fault.

Guards! They won't go far. Come on, follow them.

It's raining.

Umbrellas! Quick! Umbrellas! Don't worry, we'll get them.

Stapleton! Stapleton!

Forward!

Dublaron! Wait! Dublaron! Come on!

Funny. I thought I heard someone come in.

- Well, what happened? - We never found him.

- Where did he go? - In here. I locked him in here.

- In here? - In that cupboard.

- In that cupboard? - Open it.

Go on. Don't be afraid.

- He's gone. - I hope so.

That was 50 years ago. Come, the car will be here to take us to London.

We're going to a new play about the Gunpowder Plot.

The critics hail it as "explosive. "

Is that the bomb?

Yes. I never could get rid of it. You can't just put it in a bin.

- It's raining. - Astonishing.

Only a shower, a vagary of our climate. The farmers will be happy.

There's the car.

- Your eight children, I mean, who? - Who is their mother? I am, Percy.

- I realize that. - And their father is Armand.

Father of all? Not one is a Lendale?

Not one of them. When Dicky died in 1924, -

- his last words to me were, "What I regret most about dying -

- is that you'll have to stop having children. "

Jeremy was born a year after Dicky's death, but there was no gossip.

The English are never surprised by slowness.

This is scandalous. I can't write that, it will be censored.

On the contrary. There was nothing between Dicky and me.

He had a healthy respect for the institution of marriage.

What do you mean?

I married Armand in Switzerland over fifty years ago.

- You're not even Lady L? - I never have been.

You can't write my story, Percy.

It is too moral to be accepted by society.

But your marriage license? Your children's birth certificates?

Some of Armand's finest forgeries.

Even Dicky was full of admiration for them.

But, where is your..? I can hardly bring myself to say the word...

- Where is your husband? - Armand? Help Sir Percy, dear.

Armand has been "Shuttleworth" for longer than I care to remember.

He finds it difficult since he never learned to drive.

Since he's always been an anarchist, he hates nothing more than signals.

Damned red lights! They hold down the working classes!

The bomb, at last!

To London, Armand. On the road, if possible.