Original subtitles

Now isn't Olga pretty?

Very pretty! Gorgeous.

She's gorgeous today.

A gorgeous chick.

You're a gorgeous chick.

Hey, Schandl!

Bring me that beer!

Bring me that beer! It's on the table.

- Get it yourself! I'm not your servant. - One bottle...

Are you new?

From Serbia too?

You come from Serbia too?

No.

- What? - Ukraine.

From the Ukraine.

I'm Andi.

Andreas.

There's another way.

Glove...

- Hi there. - Olga.

- What? Olla? - Olga.

One bottle...

Nurse, one bottle.

It's non-alcoholic.

Good man.

It's non-alcoholic.

I bought it myself.

See a street sign anywhere?

Sproznishna.

The language is a throat disease.

Stick that back in!

Hurry up, Paul!

Money bag!

- Come here. - Not exactly a jackpot.

I'm...

Michael.

Magda.

My pleasure, ma'am.

How do you say...

'Michael'?

What do you want?

You gotta help me.

Ask her how you say 'Michael' in her language.

Mischo.

Cheers!

Is that right, Paul?

Nastravje.

You have very...

Very pretty eyes.

- I'm falling in love with your eyes. - I lost!

It doesn't matter, Paul.

Paul, how do you say 'eyes'? She's got pretty eyes.

I don't know.

That's my son,

my bambino.

Do you understand?

You have beautiful eyes.

Ask her:

When we come back, will she go to the disco with me?

- I don't know. - C'mon, ask her!

- I said I don't know. - Help me out a little!

But I don't know how to say that.

And I don't speak the language.

- I don't speak the language either. - It's part of the job.

Get off my back!

Why should I help you hit on her?

Besides, I don't know how.

- Why did I even bring you along? - I don't know how.

Nice of you, thanks. Then I'll do it myself.

Good idea.

And if I get her address?

Then good for you.

When I returning...

I go for work...

Roboti...

Roboti... Work... Car...

And then I returning.

And when I come,

we meet,

drink,

disco,

and a little kissy-kissy.

Bubitchku.

Good.

I know that one, I know 'bubitchku'.

Ask her if she has a boyfriend!

How do you say 'boyfriend'? Ask her that for me!

- That's your business. - You're an asshole.

You're a real asshole.

You'll see, we'll meet babes...

that will make our mouths water.

We're here to work.

It's part of the job.

If we joke around...

- and get in good with them. - Yeah, you're right.

It's better for the job.

And stop looking so upset all the time. It makes a bad impression.

What'll Mama think when she finds out?

- Who cares? This is business. - You don't care?

- It's business, Paul. - Terrific.

- Besides, she doesn't know. - Exactly.

Besides, I'm not screwing her.

I'm just having some fun.

- You just don't know what fun is. - I know what fun is.

Zero sense of humor.

You can't tell me that.

Zero charm.

She's not my age, why should I be charming?

It's not about being charming,

it's about putting on a happy face wherever we go.

All smiles and sunshine. Maybe it's freezing outside,

- but so what? - You sound like a dictator.

I'm not a dictator, I'm just explaining the job to you.

Yeah, but that wasn't the job...

If you're good, you can work more...

and have money for a change.

I just don't like you picking up women.

You're living with my mama...

How can a young guy be so conservative?

At your age I screwed everything.

- Not me. You know I'm not like that. - That's your mistake.

- Why mistake? - That's why you're always so upset.

I've got other values.

- I'm not just looking to get laid. - What are your values?

- Other values, OK? - Like what?

Harmony. With myself and my surroundings.

Harmony? What harmony? You don't even have any money.

Oh, money is harmony to you, or what?

- Or screwing is harmony to you? - That's harmony too.

- Wonderful... - You ever try it?

You know what harmony is?

When we're square, and you get off my back.

That's what harmony is to me.

Don't you tell me how to be!

Heavy, isn't it?

Heavy, and it really stinks.

You'll get used to it,

I don't smell it anymore.

Turn it around.

Here, I'll help you.

C'mon, we still have two more carts.

I talked to my paper husband last night.

He got me so mad I wanted to kill him.

First he said he just wanted to help me,

now he wants me to give him money.

He wants me to sleep with him because I'm his wife.

Sex or money?

He said sex because I'm his wife.

Imagine if I had to go to bed with him!

I told him I would never sleep with him.

Just think! He's 60, an old man! That asshole!

Maria, come here!

- Did you call? - What?

Was it you? No, I think it was Schlager.

Aw, c'mon.

What is it this time? Just a sec.

What is it?

Take my blood pressure!

Schlager, listen.

You've been washed, fed, diapered,

and in the morning we'll take your blood pressure again.

Now stop being a nuisance.

- Maria, come on! - I'm coming. What is it?

Don't keep me waiting so long!

- What is it? - I'm leaking.

You're leaking? Why didn't you tell me that you had to pee?

Why didn't you say something?

I'm completely wet down there.

Yeah, but you could have told us. Now we have to change your diaper.

You really are completely wet.

Hold on!

How's my banana monkey? Fine?

Just a sec.

Nurse!

What is it? Just a sec.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

Nothing after all.

You have to tell us if you need to pee. You can do that.

You can tell us that.

- When I need to pee... - Then you tell us.

Roll over this way!

You don't have to grab my ass, I said to roll over.

Roll over!

From where? Ukrainian?

- What? - From where? Ukrainian?

- You speak Ukrainian? - Yes.

And a little...

Russian.

And Russian?

What a surprise!

From where?

Speak more clearer!

From Vienna.

Everything OK?

You're old.

You're alone?

Do you have mother?

Where is mother?

- In Ukraine. - In the Ukraine.

In the Ukraine.

And you want to stay in Austria?

It's difficult for you.

We have to think of something.

Think of something.

Come up with a plan.

Pissin'.

We gotta split it.

It's gonna be a cold night.

Did you think we were staying at the Ambassador?

Not with you.

Erich...

I buy this.

Right one?

I leave money here.

Keep it!

Because you're a sweetheart.

Well? Have we found a victim?

Found what?

A man to marry?

Why you ask?

A little more respect, cleaning lady.

I not understand.

A husband would be practical.

I not need husband.

Then it will be difficult to stay here.

Yes, difficult.

But a young blond thing like you always finds a man.

What is this?

Poop?

Shall I throw it away?

Who was it?

Did you see? Who throw away?

Njet.

We have to look for him.

C'mon!

Hansi! Stop!

Where is your diaper? Let's see.

- What if I don't have one? - Did you take it off?

- Did you throw your diaper away? - No, it wasn't me, I swear.

- You didn't? - No.

- You threw your diaper away. - It wasn't me.

Apologize.

- Say you're sorry! - I'm sorry, but it wasn't me.

It wasn't you?

Alright. I believe you.

Koller!

What?

Why do you think I'm here, huh?

What?

Why am I here?

You dumped your diaper in the hall.

What?

You threw your dirty diaper in the hall.

- Me? - That's not funny.

- It wasn't me. - Yes it was.

- No. - I can smell it.

No.

Show me your diaper.

I'm not wearing one.

Because you threw it away.

- Now apologize! - I didn't.

No.

It's a mistake.

No dinner for you if you don't admit it.

I can't admit something...

I didn't do.

Show me.

- What? - Show me your pecker.

Go ahead and look.

- You're not full of shit after all. - I told you.

- Have you already been washed today? - No.

Alright, I believe you then.

Yes, you get dinner.

Schleider has a diaper.

Schleider?

Schleider!

Your diaper...

Why did you throw it out in the hall?

- I can't even get out of bed. - What?

- I can't get up and go over there. - Then who threw it away for you?

I don't know.

Where did you go shopping again?

You really stocked up.

You know what that means?

Another heart attack.

Number 3.

With your diabetes.

- You're going to die. - I've already said good-bye to life.

You're going to die on us.

I have to keep an eye on you.

Give me your teeth.

Open up.

The top ones too...

Let go!

What is this?

Did you use super glue?

Can you believe this?

You know I take your teeth away sometimes.

Incredible!

Give me a hand.

OK, today we're going too fast.

No way. No one's going to buy a gumball here.

It's a Gypsy retreat. This place is amazing.

Pauli, stop here!

Here?

Yeah, slow down.

Let's see if you're a man or a wimp.

Don't start with that shit again.

Scared to go in alone?

- Are you kidding? - You're a stud, aren't you?

You think I'm a sucker?

- You're a stud! - You go!

I don't need to.

What am I doing here?

I'll deduct 20 euros from your debt.

Fuck your 20 euros. You go!

- Go in to the Gypsy cannibals! - You go, moron!

- Don't call me a moron! - Then go on!

- You have to prove yourself. - You go, big mouth!

- Show us what you're made of! - Go to hell!

You think I'm scared?

Don't get smart with me!

This is all I've got.

Not enough.

You want it?

Not enough.

It's all I've got.

That's not enough.

- I don't have anymore. - Not enough.

Miro, I've got someone for you!

- Who's there? - Just a sec.

Come in!

How much money?

How much?

Zero. Nothing.

No money. I'm not interested.

100 euros.

Just a sec.

Original.

100 euros, no problem.

Too much.

One hour - 50 euros.

What do you want from me? I've got no money.

- Forget it! - 100 euros.

Nothing.

- 100 euros. - Zero.

Let go of me!

100 euros.

- He must have money. - 100 euros.

Michi, drive!

Drive!

Stinks.

God the Father, God the Son,

and God the Holy Ghost...

Holy Mary, Mother of God,

pray for us, please.

Who may I for the... Illa nlla cura coca coca coca...

I believe in the Holy Spirit,

the holy Catholic Church,

the communion of saints,

forgive me my sins,

the resurrection of the body,

and a life everlasting.

Amen.

Death.

Please who,

please who...

will take me to my mother?

Who?

Mama.

I don't have time to talk. I miss you.

Let me talk to my sweetheart.

Sweetheart, I miss you so.

My sun,

my sunshine.

Mama's going to sing you a song.

Our song, OK?

Heart,

restless heart.

Heart,

how wonderful life is.

Heart,

how wonderful that you are the way you are.

I thank you, Heart,

for being able to love this way.

I want...

to go home.

You can help me.

- Help? - Yes.

You can come stay with me.

I'll pay you.

- Why? - You'll live with me.

I'll have a pretty woman again.

You're old.

That doesn't matter.

I may be old, but I'm still foolish.

It's good to have a good woman.

And if you're good, I'll even marry you.

It's a great chance for you...

to stay in Austria as an Austrian.

- You want be married to me? - Yes, why not?

I'm single.

OK, all set!

- Back her up! - Yes!

More!

I know, I can see for myself.

Easy, easy! Stop!

A little more!

OK, all set.

Wait...

Set it down first!

Easy, easy!

And now...

Roboti, roboti...

- Look at this place! - Can't imagine anything worse.

Maybe the rooms are nice.

Into the rathole we go!

Hello!

Room?

Key?

Thanks.

Nice.

Stalin, behold!

My bed! Right-side sleeper.

Isn't there a light? Incredible!

Let's see if we've got hot water.

Have you seen a TV anywhere?

No, not yet.

The heater is as cold as ice.

The TV is in here.

It's not connected, but...

From the last century.

Dishes.

Unbelievable!

Great.

Now for the 3 P's.

Pissing, pilsner, porking.

Bottoms up?

One, two...

- What 'drushba'? - Three.

Picked a bad year.

Old man drink like fish.

Better.

Better, cheaper.

Everything OK?

OK, and how!

- Gimme five. - Holy shit.

You hit me twice, and I have to pick one up,

I'll show you how it's done.

If you don't hit me twice, you go. Ready?

- Ready. - From the hip.

From the hip.

One.

Two.

Go for it.

You got some gum at least?

Sorry.

I smell like a brewery.

Breathe on me!

No kidding, after the beer.

I'll show you how it's done.

You do that.

O comet in the nocturnal blackness of the universe...

I'm Michael.

And you?

Name?

Michael.

- And you? - Diana.

Diana?

Oh, Lady Di. A lovely name.

I am from Austria.

Austria. You know?

Ukrainsky?

You have drink? With me at bar?

Champagne? Or it's probably vodka here.

C'mon.

Let's have a drink...

and then kiss a little... And cuddle.

Will you join me? I'm Austria.

This is my son.

- Paul. - Diana.

- What? - Diana.

Diana. Nice name.

You... boyfriend?

No?

Boyfriend, husband... you?

I good man?

Good man? Austria?

You can tell her anything.

Anything.

Doesn't understand anyway. Right?

Do you have big boobs?

Big tits?

You can tell she doesn't have big tits.

I want to hear her say it.

Big or little cunt?

- She doesn't understand. - I'd say big girl, big cunt, right?

That's got nothing to do with it.

Oh, you mean tight?

Usually the tall ones have tight pussies.

Looks pretty tight to me.

I bet her pussy is hot.

No problem.

Surprise!

Don't you know how to knock, Pauli?

I need money.

I'm conducting an anatomical study.

What?

No, really.

Man...

This is anatomy live.

Look, 19 and her cunt is already stretched out.

You're a dirty bastard.

I need money. I've got a huge bill downstairs.

I'm not interested in your bullshit.

- Sit and watch! - I'm not interested.

Give me the money!

Man!

First let me show you the power of money.

Sit down!

I'll give you a demonstration.

Stick your finger in your cunt!

You always have to motivate them a little.

You make bicycle...

My bicycle I love to ride

if I have my baby by my side.

Money can buy everything. Keep going!

My bicycle I love to ride

if I have my baby by my side.

And now for the highlight.

"I am a stupid-ass cunt."

In German.

You learn German.

- Too complicated. - She's scared.

She's not scared.

- She does this every day. - She's trembling.

C'mon!

Watch! I'll show you something.

Say...

All she has to say is "I am a cunt."

Say: I am a cunt.

Repeat after me...

Good, almost.

I...

am...

a...

horny...

cunt.

Pauli, watch me!

I'm showing you something.

No problem because it's not about money, right?

Money's everything!

And now you are my dog.

Dog.

Go "woof"!

Let's go for a walk, Woofi?

Very good. See, that's how it works.

No, properly!

Now go on!

Let's go to Pauli.

Look there's Pauli. Look, look, look!

Sniff his shoes!

They stink bad.

You see, that's how it works, Paul.

Michi, please.

- We're just playing... - Please!

Give me the money so I can pay downstairs!

Loosen up and let's have some fun.

- I'm not into your kinky shit. - It's a father-son trip.

Sit and make yourself comfortable!

You're uptight. Look, she's relaxed and smiling.

Yeah sure.

Laugh! Laugh!

Paul, you laugh too!

Laugh!

OK, that's no good.

What about a striptease?

And I'll sing along.

Dance, darling!

And now the bra!

Very good!

Now the mood is picking up.

This old man,

he played one,

he played knick-knack on my thumb...

C'mon, Paul, join in! Look how sweet she is!

Take off your bra!

Let's see those designer tits.

Don't forget the money!

Can I leave now?

No, stay a little while!

Check out these tits!

Like a work by Michelangelo.

Stop talking and stick it in!

- C'mon, stick it in! - Don't worry, I will.

Let me help you, big mouth.

Blow job?

Big master, show us your stuff!

Big master's gonna show you.

Show me what you've got!

C'mon, get yours out too!

Drop your pants!

Suck it!

All the way!

Fuck her!

Hold your horses! I'm not an express train.

I don't have all day.

Always bragging.

Don't nibble! Suck! Suck!

- You can tell she's still young. - Pork her!

- Pork her! - Hold on...

We're just getting started.

Don't just let her suck your pacifier!

Always running at the mouth.

This old man,

he played four,

stuck his dick inside a whore...

C'mon, suck it right!

Good, very good.

You're very good. Ukrainian.

It's not true, actually she's no good at this.

Doesn't look like you're gonna bang her today.

You're making me nervous.

- Stay cool! - You told me to watch. So stick it in!

You wanted to watch.

You told me to watch, I'm not interested.

My treat. C'mon!

No. Let's see you bang her. You're always bragging about porking.

- Like the king of so and so... - I am the king. See for yourself!

- Look at this bitch! She can't... - You get it up yet?

No, c'mon! No teeth!

This old man...

With your lips! Yes.

That's better. It's getting there.

C'mon, not so shy!

- C'mon, Michi, stick it in! - What's your problem, Paul?

Stick it in already!

My son!

You fuck her! You stick it in!

- Two dicks are better than one. - I knew it.

I told you I was going back downstairs...

- Strip! - Always talking about fucking...

My babe is waiting downstairs.

- Let's nail her. - No.

- Both of us? I pay... - Enough big talk.

He screws. I screw. OK?

A little in-and-out, designer tits,

pretty eyes... What?

Show me how you nail her!

You can't force me to nail her. I want you to nail her.

Sure.

Good. Now take off your pants and do me the favor!

I'm paying... Now I'm not in the mood anymore.

That's what I wanted.

It's always the same with you, Paul. It's always the same.

Always complaining, can't shut up...

Yeah, that's right.

Where are your shoes?

You wearing your shoes in bed again?

Of course. Let's take them off.

You can't sleep with your shoes on.

I'm putting your cane over here.

Have you seen Gina?

I've got a dog.

Gina, want a treat?

Would you like to feed her?

Biscuit, look Gina,

a biscuit for you.

Yeah, it wasn't for you.

Time for bed, OK?

Time for beddy-bye.

I know it's hard without teeth.

Sleep tight.

Where is Erich?

Dead.

- What? - Heart attack.

Dead?

Heart attack.

I just heard it.

Heart attack.

Heart attack?

Peel one!

Peel it!

Thy kingdom come...

Morning!

Do you need a worker?

- Do I need a worker? - Yes. I need work badly.

Do you understand me?

I'm good.

No?

Morning!

Where is the boss?

- Why? What do you want? - The boss?

I'm the boss.

I need work. I work very hard.

And what?

I'm good. I have muscles. Good hands.

What do you want?

I want to work here.

Fine.

What do I do? Show me!

Here?

That's our work.

- Bring that over here? - Yes.

Hey bastard, that's our work!

- He works here too? - Yes, there's no more work.

OK, forget it.

Asshole!

Drink, my darling, drink with me

Let your heart be gay and free

All the world will look so bright

Bathed in glowing rosy light

Love is but a dream you see

Which our hearts adore

Love eternal cannot be

It exists no more

Gone are many hopes and dreams

Which once filled your heart with joy

Wine will put your mind at ease

Through forgetfulness

Happy he, who forgets

What cannot be changed

Drink with me, sing with me

Sing, sing, sing

Drink with me

Happy he, who forgets

What cannot be changed

Drink, my darling, drink with me

Let your heart be gay and free

Don't be in an angry mood

Smile sweetly, do not brood

You betrayed me once in time

That was in the past

Tell me that you will be mine

I will trust you now

Illusion brings us happiness

Briefly sweeps our cares away

I believe

what you confess

And am gay today

Happy he, who forgets

Stinking bitch!

Calm down!

Are you crazy?

Stop!

What's wrong?

Fuck off, bitch!

Have you calmed down?

God, stop thrashing around!

Have you calmed down?

Hysterical lady!

Stinks.

Isn't that the...?

Who's there?

Stinks.

Who's there?

Stop shouting.

Quiet.

Death.

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