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1
00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:32,658
Well, Michelle, we did it.
Happy graduation.
2
00:00:38,623 --> 00:00:41,709
You know,
living at my parents' house,
3
00:00:42,001 --> 00:00:45,003
that's a temporary thing.
4
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:48,882
We've been going out for,
what, three years.
5
00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:51,593
You're not, like, getting
bored with things, are you?
6
00:00:51,678 --> 00:00:53,846
Michelle, I'm gonna
ask you something
7
00:00:53,972 --> 00:00:56,140
that I've never
asked you before.
8
00:00:56,307 --> 00:00:57,433
Is it kinky?
9
00:00:57,517 --> 00:00:59,143
I don't think so. No.
10
00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,894
You don't have
to be embarrassed
11
00:01:00,979 --> 00:01:04,440
if you wanna add more spiciness
to our relationship.
12
00:01:05,817 --> 00:01:07,192
Actually,
13
00:01:07,819 --> 00:01:10,612
maybe you could just, you know,
14
00:01:11,656 --> 00:01:12,781
use your napkin.
15
00:01:12,907 --> 00:01:14,032
My napkin?
16
00:01:15,452 --> 00:01:17,327
- Mr. Levenstein?
- Yes.
17
00:01:17,454 --> 00:01:18,912
You have a phone call.
Excuse me.
18
00:01:19,038 --> 00:01:20,539
Thank you.
19
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,125
- Hello?
- Jim, it's Dad.
20
00:01:23,209 --> 00:01:24,918
You left the ring at home.
21
00:01:25,003 --> 00:01:27,880
The box is empty.
But I'm on my way,
22
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:32,426
and I've got the ring, so
don't panic, Son. Okay? Bye.
23
00:01:33,845 --> 00:01:35,345
Who was that?
24
00:01:36,556 --> 00:01:37,681
Uh...
25
00:01:38,391 --> 00:01:40,684
That was my dad.
That was my dad.
26
00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:44,021
He couldn't get through on...
I didn't answer my cell,
27
00:01:44,147 --> 00:01:47,441
so he was getting all worried.
You know how he is.
28
00:01:47,525 --> 00:01:51,695
But everything is okay now.
Everything is perfectly fine.
29
00:01:52,197 --> 00:01:55,032
I think I know what
you're gonna ask me.
30
00:01:56,701 --> 00:01:59,870
That's okay. I don't
have to use my napkin.
31
00:02:00,371 --> 00:02:01,663
What?
32
00:02:01,790 --> 00:02:03,081
I've got my own techniques.
33
00:02:07,045 --> 00:02:09,505
Michelle, where you going?
Michelle?
34
00:02:11,883 --> 00:02:13,175
Okay.
35
00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:16,887
Michelle. Okay.
36
00:02:17,555 --> 00:02:20,724
- My God.
- My God, Michelle.
37
00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:21,934
Psst!
38
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,354
I think you need to stop.
Okay, keep going.
39
00:02:27,398 --> 00:02:29,316
My God. Michelle?
40
00:02:29,692 --> 00:02:33,111
Michelle...
41
00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,281
My God.
42
00:02:36,491 --> 00:02:37,491
Okay.
43
00:02:37,617 --> 00:02:38,659
Well, I made it.
44
00:02:38,868 --> 00:02:40,577
Where's Michelle? Washroom?
45
00:02:40,703 --> 00:02:42,996
I was so nervous
she was gonna spot me.
46
00:02:43,081 --> 00:02:44,832
Here's the ring, Son.
47
00:02:44,916 --> 00:02:47,584
Let me tell you something.
This is some ring.
48
00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:50,587
Look at the rock on this
baby, Mr. Big Spender.
49
00:02:50,713 --> 00:02:52,506
I hope you didn't blow
your wad on this, Son.
50
00:02:52,590 --> 00:02:53,757
Not yet.
51
00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:57,761
Your mother and I could not be
more thrilled for you, Jim.
52
00:02:57,887 --> 00:02:59,096
I mean, we're so happy.
53
00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:01,515
And I know you're excited,
I can see it in your face.
54
00:03:01,599 --> 00:03:03,934
I mean, you look like
you're ready to burst.
55
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:05,686
I mean, your cheeks,
they're flush.
56
00:03:05,812 --> 00:03:07,271
I wish your mother
could be here.
57
00:03:07,397 --> 00:03:08,689
- Not me.
- That's what I wish.
58
00:03:08,773 --> 00:03:12,276
You know, this is one
of those moments, Jim,
59
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:15,279
that you're gonna remember
for the rest of your life.
60
00:03:15,363 --> 00:03:16,613
Yes, it is.
61
00:03:16,781 --> 00:03:20,200
You bet it is.
62
00:03:20,285 --> 00:03:23,161
I cannot believe my son
is gonna pop the question.
63
00:03:24,455 --> 00:03:25,455
What was that?
64
00:03:25,582 --> 00:03:26,623
That?
65
00:03:28,877 --> 00:03:33,297
Knocking on wood. What is this...
Popping what? What question?
66
00:03:33,423 --> 00:03:34,423
You're a wreck.
67
00:03:34,549 --> 00:03:35,549
What?
68
00:03:35,633 --> 00:03:39,219
You need some air. You need some air.
Okay, walk me to my car.
69
00:03:39,304 --> 00:03:40,429
No, I'm not walking...
70
00:03:40,555 --> 00:03:41,722
Listen to me!
It's for your good.
71
00:03:42,974 --> 00:03:44,057
Dad.
72
00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:45,809
- Son!
- My pants!
73
00:03:45,935 --> 00:03:47,352
Your penis!
74
00:03:47,478 --> 00:03:48,896
I got my pants, Dad!
75
00:03:48,980 --> 00:03:50,230
What the hell...
76
00:03:51,482 --> 00:03:52,691
Jeez! God, Dad.
77
00:03:52,817 --> 00:03:54,067
Wear your pants.
78
00:03:54,152 --> 00:03:56,069
I got the pants!
What are you doing?
79
00:03:56,154 --> 00:03:57,362
He had abdominal cramps...
80
00:03:57,488 --> 00:03:58,739
I can explain all this.
81
00:03:58,823 --> 00:04:00,490
Everybody calm
down here, quiet!
82
00:04:00,617 --> 00:04:02,326
Lower your voice.
83
00:04:04,162 --> 00:04:05,621
Disgusting.
84
00:04:10,168 --> 00:04:11,460
Now,
85
00:04:12,629 --> 00:04:15,005
I came here to do something,
86
00:04:15,548 --> 00:04:18,467
and damn it, I'm gonna do it.
87
00:04:23,640 --> 00:04:24,973
Michelle?
88
00:04:28,978 --> 00:04:30,395
Hello, dear.
89
00:04:33,566 --> 00:04:35,859
Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,
90
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:38,236
I love you
91
00:04:39,739 --> 00:04:44,660
more than I could ever explain
at this particular moment.
92
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:51,500
Dad, the ring.
93
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,717
Will you marry me?
94
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:02,386
Yes.
95
00:05:13,690 --> 00:05:15,023
My son.
96
00:05:26,911 --> 00:05:29,037
I'm the happiest
man in the world.
97
00:05:33,876 --> 00:05:35,168
We should all be so happy.
98
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:10,871
Cheers. Gentlemen. Sweetheart.
99
00:06:13,291 --> 00:06:14,833
I'm impressed.
100
00:06:15,293 --> 00:06:17,335
Marriage is a binding,
101
00:06:17,879 --> 00:06:20,380
unifying, eternal,
102
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:26,553
never-ending, permanent chaining
together of two people.
103
00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:30,515
Jim, have you
thought this through?
104
00:06:30,641 --> 00:06:31,933
Yes.
105
00:06:32,018 --> 00:06:36,021
Finch, thank you. I had been trying
to figure it out for a while.
106
00:06:36,105 --> 00:06:38,940
You know, when is the right time?
Is there a right time?
107
00:06:39,025 --> 00:06:42,986
Then finally I realized, "Duh,
you love the girl. Marry her."
108
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:44,279
Aw.
109
00:06:46,073 --> 00:06:48,074
Let's dance.
110
00:06:48,159 --> 00:06:49,659
Dance? No.
111
00:06:49,744 --> 00:06:52,579
No, you have to learn sometime.
Come on.
112
00:06:56,959 --> 00:06:58,710
Don't laugh at me.
113
00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,130
Yeah, okay.
114
00:07:02,965 --> 00:07:04,382
Just glad that's not me.
115
00:07:04,509 --> 00:07:05,967
Finch,
116
00:07:06,636 --> 00:07:08,220
you don't think
there's one girl
117
00:07:08,304 --> 00:07:10,722
you're destined to spend
your entire life with?
118
00:07:11,808 --> 00:07:13,934
They're all for me, Kevin.
119
00:07:14,352 --> 00:07:17,521
Not so bad? All right.
120
00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,481
Do this.
121
00:07:20,608 --> 00:07:22,025
I'm sorry.
122
00:07:22,276 --> 00:07:24,945
The wedding should be
rather entertaining.
123
00:07:37,208 --> 00:07:39,334
Bro, that's it?
124
00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:42,379
There's no keg anywhere.
125
00:07:43,756 --> 00:07:45,590
- Jim.
- Hey, John.
126
00:07:46,342 --> 00:07:49,094
The food and
the drink are really bad.
127
00:07:49,303 --> 00:07:52,305
"F" for presentation.
The good news for you...
128
00:07:52,390 --> 00:07:53,515
What's that?
129
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:56,226
We're gonna be
ushers at the wedding.
130
00:07:59,522 --> 00:08:02,732
This is amazing. I don't recognize
half the people in this place.
131
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,527
At least they
all brought gifts.
132
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:06,820
Hello.
133
00:08:06,946 --> 00:08:08,196
Hello. I'm Mary Flaherty.
134
00:08:08,281 --> 00:08:09,489
Hello!
135
00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,866
Harold Flaherty.
136
00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:12,534
- Hi.
- How lovely to meet you.
137
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,203
Please come in.
We've been expecting you.
138
00:08:15,288 --> 00:08:16,413
How was your trip?
139
00:08:16,539 --> 00:08:17,664
Delightful.
140
00:08:17,748 --> 00:08:19,833
Who's excited
about the wedding?
141
00:08:19,959 --> 00:08:22,043
Anxious might be more accurate.
142
00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:24,421
We've never met your son.
143
00:08:25,006 --> 00:08:26,131
You'll get to meet him.
144
00:08:26,215 --> 00:08:28,258
Rudy and Sam would
like to meet him, too.
145
00:08:28,342 --> 00:08:29,384
Better bring them
in from the car.
146
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:30,552
They've been
cooped up for hours.
147
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,470
For heaven's sake.
You brought your sons?
148
00:08:32,555 --> 00:08:33,638
Our dogs.
149
00:08:33,764 --> 00:08:34,890
We never travel without them.
150
00:08:34,974 --> 00:08:36,057
My goodness.
151
00:08:36,142 --> 00:08:39,477
Well, honey, why don't you go get
those critters out of the car
152
00:08:39,562 --> 00:08:40,687
and we'll start
on some cocktails.
153
00:08:40,813 --> 00:08:41,938
Thank you.
154
00:08:42,023 --> 00:08:43,440
- I'd love one.
- Long trip?
155
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,025
I'll get the dogs.
156
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,403
There's one thing that'll
make this wedding perfect.
157
00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:50,155
No Stifler.
158
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,866
That's one dick
we are not inviting.
159
00:08:52,950 --> 00:08:54,242
Motion seconded.
160
00:08:54,368 --> 00:08:55,619
Motion carried.
161
00:08:56,454 --> 00:09:00,165
So, Finch, what are you gonna
do with that fancy NYU diploma?
162
00:09:00,249 --> 00:09:01,833
I'll frame it.
163
00:09:02,627 --> 00:09:04,294
Then I'll write my memoirs.
164
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,171
You should come
to law school, man.
165
00:09:06,297 --> 00:09:08,131
You know I could
use the company.
166
00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:11,217
Kids, Michelle's parents are here.
Come on, we're waiting.
167
00:09:11,302 --> 00:09:13,345
Crumbs on the shirt.
That's bad.
168
00:09:13,471 --> 00:09:15,513
Okay, that's fine.
I'll change. I'll change.
169
00:09:18,726 --> 00:09:20,018
Fuckers!
170
00:09:30,321 --> 00:09:33,740
Well, polish my nuts
and serve me a milkshake.
171
00:09:39,997 --> 00:09:41,456
What's up?
172
00:09:45,002 --> 00:09:46,503
That's right.
173
00:09:50,508 --> 00:09:53,176
Cake? Hope it's good.
174
00:09:55,972 --> 00:09:57,263
Gee.
175
00:09:57,348 --> 00:10:00,475
Thanks for inviting me to the
graduation party, fucker.
176
00:10:05,815 --> 00:10:09,943
Fucking right, doggy.
That's good cake! Holy shit!
177
00:10:10,695 --> 00:10:11,945
Hi. How are you?
Congratulations.
178
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,780
Hey...
179
00:10:17,368 --> 00:10:19,035
"Congratulation, Jism!"
180
00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:21,538
Excuse me. Stifler?
181
00:10:21,956 --> 00:10:23,123
Hey, Jim!
182
00:10:23,249 --> 00:10:24,457
Stifler,
what are you doing here?
183
00:10:24,542 --> 00:10:25,500
Okay, man...
184
00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:26,626
Happy fuckday, assmouth!
185
00:10:26,711 --> 00:10:27,752
Put the cake down.
186
00:10:27,837 --> 00:10:28,878
Check it out.
I made it all by myself.
187
00:10:29,005 --> 00:10:30,463
Cute.
What happened to my invite?
188
00:10:30,548 --> 00:10:31,715
Got lost in the mail, fuckface?
189
00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:32,799
Quiet!
190
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:35,468
Bite yourself.
That's what I thought.
191
00:10:35,553 --> 00:10:36,720
I think I can
spell "Cajun Rectum."
192
00:10:36,846 --> 00:10:38,054
Seriously, man.
193
00:10:38,139 --> 00:10:39,305
Jesus.
194
00:10:39,432 --> 00:10:40,640
Damn it, Stifler.
195
00:10:40,725 --> 00:10:41,766
Jim, look what you did!
196
00:10:41,892 --> 00:10:42,976
Look what I did?
197
00:10:43,060 --> 00:10:45,729
Look at this shit!
What am I supposed to do now?
198
00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:48,565
Are you happy now, man?
Why are you here?
199
00:10:48,691 --> 00:10:49,899
My dick looks like a corn dog.
200
00:10:49,984 --> 00:10:51,401
I got cake all over my balls.
201
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,069
Jim, honey?
202
00:10:53,154 --> 00:10:54,154
Shit.
203
00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:55,697
The Flahertys are waiting.
204
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,323
Do you think
he's upstairs, honey?
205
00:10:57,408 --> 00:10:58,742
You're fucked now, Jim.
206
00:11:06,083 --> 00:11:07,292
Stifler, get up.
207
00:11:07,418 --> 00:11:08,668
This dog's great!
208
00:11:08,753 --> 00:11:10,420
Is it weird that it feels good?
209
00:11:11,589 --> 00:11:13,006
All right...
210
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:14,966
What about the dining room?
211
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,342
I know you'll just love him.
212
00:11:16,510 --> 00:11:18,053
Jesus, Stifler.
213
00:11:19,597 --> 00:11:20,889
Stop enjoying it so much.
214
00:11:21,015 --> 00:11:22,348
Lick it up!
215
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:28,438
You little shit.
Take your pants off, man.
216
00:11:29,565 --> 00:11:32,275
Good Lord!
217
00:11:32,610 --> 00:11:33,693
- God!
- Jim?
218
00:11:33,778 --> 00:11:35,320
No, it's not
what it looks like.
219
00:11:35,446 --> 00:11:37,030
What are you doing, Son?
220
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,907
My dogs!
Don't go in there, darling!
221
00:11:38,991 --> 00:11:40,200
Lord knows what
they'll do to you!
222
00:11:40,326 --> 00:11:41,534
I love this dog!
223
00:11:41,619 --> 00:11:43,203
I was trying to
get him off, Dad.
224
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,954
That is your son?
225
00:11:45,039 --> 00:11:46,998
Back away from the animal.
226
00:11:47,124 --> 00:11:49,084
Mr. And Mrs. Flaherty,
I presume.
227
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,710
Where are you going?
228
00:11:52,004 --> 00:11:54,464
Well, lunch is served.
229
00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,884
I really hope.
230
00:11:58,552 --> 00:12:02,889
That we can all just forget about
this, and move on, and start again.
231
00:12:03,307 --> 00:12:04,599
Start again fresh.
232
00:12:04,683 --> 00:12:07,477
Jim, if you hope to be
the provider and protector
233
00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:09,646
for our firstborn daughter,
234
00:12:09,730 --> 00:12:11,189
you have a long way to go.
235
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:12,774
Thank you, sir.
236
00:12:13,317 --> 00:12:15,151
They think you're an angel
237
00:12:15,236 --> 00:12:18,530
and I'm just some
ungrateful dog rapist.
238
00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:22,617
They just think they raised
the proper little band girl.
239
00:12:22,785 --> 00:12:25,120
And, besides, sometimes
240
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:27,997
it's nice to be
more traditional.
241
00:12:28,082 --> 00:12:29,999
How so? How do
you mean traditional?
242
00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,502
I'm thinking about the wedding.
243
00:12:33,170 --> 00:12:35,421
How it's just this one day,
244
00:12:35,923 --> 00:12:39,759
one day where everyone's
eyes are on me for a change.
245
00:12:39,844 --> 00:12:42,095
I've just never
walked into a room
246
00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:45,431
and had everyone go,
"Ooh" and "Ah"
247
00:12:46,058 --> 00:12:47,851
and "Isn't she elegant?"
248
00:12:47,935 --> 00:12:51,479
That is exactly how our
wedding is going to be.
249
00:12:51,897 --> 00:12:53,273
I promise.
250
00:12:55,901 --> 00:12:59,779
Shit. I got a frosted
ass crack. Hey, Finch?
251
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,365
You want this
for here or to go?
252
00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:05,952
"A witty saying
proves nothing." Voltaire.
253
00:13:06,412 --> 00:13:08,580
"Suck my dick." Ron Jeremy.
254
00:13:09,707 --> 00:13:12,041
Boys, anybody seen
the bride's parents?
255
00:13:13,002 --> 00:13:14,043
No?
256
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,255
Wait a second.
257
00:13:17,381 --> 00:13:18,631
Come on, Stifler.
258
00:13:18,716 --> 00:13:19,716
This isn't a graduation party.
259
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:20,842
It's time to go.
260
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:24,429
Wait, hold on!
Jim's getting married, isn't he?
261
00:13:24,847 --> 00:13:27,056
Holy fucking shit!
This is major!
262
00:13:27,141 --> 00:13:29,225
Do you have the slightest idea
how important this is?
263
00:13:29,476 --> 00:13:32,270
We get to have
a bachelor party. Yes!
264
00:13:32,354 --> 00:13:35,273
We celebrate the death of Jim
with a party in his honor.
265
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:37,192
Chicks and boobs. Tits and ass.
266
00:13:37,276 --> 00:13:39,110
Titties, ta-tas,
casabas, bazoongas,
267
00:13:39,195 --> 00:13:40,945
all up in our frigging faces!
268
00:13:41,030 --> 00:13:43,114
Come on, buck up, fellows!
Show some enthusiasm!
269
00:13:43,699 --> 00:13:46,367
It's gonna be fucking great!
My God!
270
00:13:48,704 --> 00:13:50,330
Finch,
he does make a good point.
271
00:13:50,456 --> 00:13:52,081
Yeah, he does.
272
00:13:56,045 --> 00:13:58,296
You never heard me say that.
273
00:13:58,964 --> 00:14:01,424
I do not deserve
a girl this cool.
274
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,968
Michelle said the wedding
was doable, right?
275
00:14:04,053 --> 00:14:06,054
A wedding. A wedding, yeah.
276
00:14:06,138 --> 00:14:10,058
I promised her her wedding.
You know, the wedding of her dreams.
277
00:14:10,142 --> 00:14:11,351
Okay, what's the problem?
278
00:14:11,477 --> 00:14:12,727
Dancing.
279
00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:15,647
She's gonna want to dance.
There's that whole tradition.
280
00:14:15,731 --> 00:14:17,273
The first dance
at the reception.
281
00:14:17,358 --> 00:14:19,734
She is gonna wanna dance
Fred Astaire kind of shit.
282
00:14:19,818 --> 00:14:20,944
I can't do that.
283
00:14:21,028 --> 00:14:23,363
She learned all
that from band camp.
284
00:14:23,447 --> 00:14:26,240
Okay, so you take lessons,
you know. Right away.
285
00:14:26,325 --> 00:14:28,368
Lessons. Okay.
I have to convince
286
00:14:28,494 --> 00:14:30,536
her parents that
I'm not a shithead.
287
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:32,080
Yeah, challenging.
288
00:14:32,164 --> 00:14:33,164
Indeed challenging.
289
00:14:33,248 --> 00:14:35,166
But doable. What else?
290
00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:38,086
What else? I don't know what else.
That's the thing.
291
00:14:38,170 --> 00:14:40,004
She cares too much to tell me.
292
00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:42,840
She doesn't want me to worry
that she might be worried.
293
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,175
So I'm worried.
294
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,593
Recon.
295
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:51,140
You mean, like,
spying on Michelle?
296
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:53,518
Spying is deceitful.
297
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:57,897
Extra attention
means you're concerned.
298
00:14:57,982 --> 00:14:59,399
This is true. This is good.
299
00:14:59,525 --> 00:15:00,984
Guys,
300
00:15:01,485 --> 00:15:02,694
here's to the next step.
301
00:15:02,820 --> 00:15:04,070
Shut up with that stepping.
302
00:15:04,154 --> 00:15:05,530
Put your glass down.
303
00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:39,188
We'll find a wonderful one
somewhere, I promise.
304
00:15:39,273 --> 00:15:41,065
We'll keep looking.
305
00:15:44,486 --> 00:15:47,405
Is everything okay here? The study
can get a little chilly sometimes.
306
00:15:47,489 --> 00:15:48,531
You have enough blankets?
307
00:15:48,699 --> 00:15:49,782
We're fine. Thank you.
308
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:51,868
I was kind of hoping
309
00:15:52,536 --> 00:15:55,747
that someday soon,
we could have a little talk.
310
00:15:56,165 --> 00:15:57,832
I'd really like to tell you
311
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,585
why I think I'll make
a good husband,
312
00:16:00,836 --> 00:16:02,211
whenever you get a chance.
313
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:03,713
Why is that?
314
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,298
Come on.
315
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:11,846
See, I was saying
that soon we could talk.
316
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:15,641
This right now is sort
of the preliminary talk
317
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:19,771
before the future longer talk,
318
00:16:19,855 --> 00:16:22,607
which would be like a quiet,
319
00:16:23,067 --> 00:16:24,650
a private dinner talk.
320
00:16:26,111 --> 00:16:27,403
Let him finish.
321
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:31,991
I'm talking to you.
322
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:33,868
Okay.
323
00:16:36,580 --> 00:16:38,456
Good talking to you.
324
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:45,004
No. These aren't gonna work.
325
00:16:49,510 --> 00:16:53,096
You guys in a sporting goods store.
Very good.
326
00:16:54,014 --> 00:16:55,014
Hey, Finch,
327
00:16:56,141 --> 00:16:58,184
I think they got your size.
328
00:16:58,268 --> 00:16:59,560
Beautiful.
329
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:01,771
Jim needs to learn to
dance for his wedding.
330
00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:04,107
You know, I think he's screwed.
331
00:17:04,191 --> 00:17:06,818
Of course he's screwed.
He's getting married.
332
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:09,445
I can't wait to
see this disaster.
333
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:12,406
What makes you think
you're invited?
334
00:17:18,622 --> 00:17:21,624
I already called up
Jim's mom. Got the info.
335
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,918
I'm preparing for
the festivities.
336
00:17:24,002 --> 00:17:27,755
It's time for me to boom-boom with
the bridesmaids, Finchfucker.
337
00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,800
'Cause I'm gonna hang out
with my wang out.
338
00:17:32,678 --> 00:17:35,471
And I'm gonna rock out
with my cock out!
339
00:17:35,556 --> 00:17:38,224
Yeah, that's what
I'm talking about.
340
00:17:39,518 --> 00:17:41,144
All right, Stifler.
341
00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:44,147
This is a little
difficult to explain.
342
00:17:45,023 --> 00:17:48,359
Look, you're okay. You're okay.
343
00:17:48,443 --> 00:17:49,610
I mean, I like you.
344
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:50,903
Yeah, great.
345
00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:54,323
You can blow me after practice.
I'm working, dude.
346
00:17:56,535 --> 00:17:57,910
Come on! Work it! Hustle!
347
00:17:58,036 --> 00:17:59,412
See, my mom didn't know that...
348
00:17:59,496 --> 00:18:00,997
Push it! Move it! Come on!
349
00:18:01,123 --> 00:18:02,582
There was a misunderstanding.
350
00:18:02,666 --> 00:18:03,708
You're not invited!
351
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:04,917
Hold!
352
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,382
Dude, how the hell do you even
think you're getting married?
353
00:18:11,466 --> 00:18:14,302
I've been looking out for your
sex life since high school.
354
00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:16,179
You what?
355
00:18:19,766 --> 00:18:23,895
The first tits this guy ever
saw were because of me!
356
00:18:24,146 --> 00:18:26,439
The first girl
he ever hooked up with
357
00:18:26,523 --> 00:18:29,275
was at my party, at my cottage!
358
00:18:29,568 --> 00:18:31,694
That girl's
the girl he's marrying.
359
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,905
The Stiffman
showed him the way.
360
00:18:34,489 --> 00:18:36,240
Can I get a hallelujah?
361
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:38,159
Hallelujah, Stifler!
362
00:18:38,243 --> 00:18:40,119
But, my fuckers,
363
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:43,289
this mofo right here does
not want the Stifmeister,
364
00:18:43,373 --> 00:18:46,083
the Grand fucking Facilitator
to attend the wedding.
365
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:47,752
Who sucks donkey dick?
366
00:18:47,878 --> 00:18:49,545
Jim sucks donkey dick!
367
00:18:49,838 --> 00:18:52,590
The answer's no, okay?
I'm sorry.
368
00:18:52,674 --> 00:18:53,674
The answer's no.
369
00:18:53,759 --> 00:18:54,800
I can dance.
370
00:18:54,927 --> 00:18:56,010
What?
371
00:18:56,595 --> 00:18:58,054
I can dance.
372
00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:03,142
Five, six, seven, eight...
373
00:19:05,896 --> 00:19:07,980
Okay. What exactly
is this here?
374
00:19:08,106 --> 00:19:10,191
Left box turn.
375
00:19:10,275 --> 00:19:11,525
Left box turn. Okay.
376
00:19:12,444 --> 00:19:13,694
Hi. Stop looking into my eyes.
377
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:15,071
Sorry. Sorry.
378
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:17,615
Now how do you know this?
How do you know how to do this?
379
00:19:17,699 --> 00:19:19,700
My mom made me take it
for three fuckin' years.
380
00:19:19,785 --> 00:19:21,244
- Yeah?
- I hated it.
381
00:19:21,328 --> 00:19:24,872
No, you're really good.
You should take ballet or something.
382
00:19:24,957 --> 00:19:26,290
Fuckface!
383
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,750
What part of
"this sucks my ass"
384
00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:29,293
do you not under-fuckin'-stand?
385
00:19:29,378 --> 00:19:31,212
This is exactly what I'm
talking about, Steven.
386
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:34,757
You can't behave like this.
If you wanna come to the wedding,
387
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,467
I'm sorry,
you cannot act like this.
388
00:19:36,551 --> 00:19:38,135
Are you saying
I'm impolite or something?
389
00:19:38,262 --> 00:19:39,929
Impolite would
be an improvement.
390
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,640
Look, just try not to be,
391
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,141
you know, you.
392
00:19:48,146 --> 00:19:49,981
Fuck this shit.
It's not worth it.
393
00:19:50,065 --> 00:19:52,024
Wait, Stifler. Hold on.
394
00:19:52,317 --> 00:19:55,569
Okay, what if you planned
the bachelor party?
395
00:19:55,696 --> 00:19:56,988
With a dildo show?
396
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:02,868
Sure. If you can find the
time to fit it in, go ahead.
397
00:20:02,953 --> 00:20:04,495
- Surprise me.
- Sorry, chief.
398
00:20:04,579 --> 00:20:06,038
It only gets you halfway there.
399
00:20:06,123 --> 00:20:07,456
What do you mean?
400
00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:10,710
I need assurances that I'm gonna get
some quality action at this wedding.
401
00:20:10,794 --> 00:20:12,753
I'm sorry,
I can't make that promise.
402
00:20:13,130 --> 00:20:15,298
Well, let me put it
to you this way, Jimbo.
403
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:19,468
No pussy, no dancing. Okay?
404
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:22,471
No pussy, no dancing.
405
00:20:22,723 --> 00:20:24,348
How's that for polite?
406
00:20:29,646 --> 00:20:31,981
Jim, your suspicions
are confirmed.
407
00:20:32,065 --> 00:20:34,900
Michelle wants a dress
that she can't get.
408
00:20:35,110 --> 00:20:39,196
The dress she wants is Amsale.
They have a store in Chicago.
409
00:20:39,698 --> 00:20:42,825
If we leave right now, we can get
there by the time they close.
410
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:43,993
It's a three-hour drive.
411
00:20:44,161 --> 00:20:45,244
Three-hour drive?
412
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:49,165
Kick fucking ass!
Are we going to Chicago to see titties?
413
00:20:49,249 --> 00:20:52,543
We are talking about getting
Michelle a dress in Chicago.
414
00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,587
Now, please vanish.
415
00:20:54,671 --> 00:20:56,881
Hey, Finch, what's
the capital of Thailand?
416
00:20:58,050 --> 00:20:59,425
Bang cock.
417
00:21:00,969 --> 00:21:02,845
- Dude...
- Okay, I got shotgun.
418
00:21:09,561 --> 00:21:11,437
Let's get this
dress shit over with.
419
00:21:11,521 --> 00:21:14,774
The strip bar's got free
hot wings before 7:00.
420
00:21:15,275 --> 00:21:18,694
Now, Jim, let me handle this.
These are my people.
421
00:21:18,945 --> 00:21:19,945
They're gay?
422
00:21:20,030 --> 00:21:21,572
No, you bleeding imbecile,
423
00:21:21,656 --> 00:21:25,076
they have style. They're cultured.
They're sophisticated.
424
00:21:25,577 --> 00:21:26,786
So they're gay.
425
00:21:27,204 --> 00:21:30,247
So, mademoiselle, I'm sure
that you can appreciate
426
00:21:30,332 --> 00:21:33,709
that monsieur here is stuck right
between Scylla and Charybdis.
427
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:36,420
Yes, I'm afraid
he's no Ulysses.
428
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:38,130
Okay, what's happening here?
429
00:21:38,382 --> 00:21:40,424
You need to speak
to my dressmaker.
430
00:21:40,509 --> 00:21:42,468
That's who would
actually make the dress,
431
00:21:42,552 --> 00:21:44,762
and I'm afraid Leslie
has gone for the day.
432
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:56,774
All right, she said
she'd probably be at
433
00:21:56,900 --> 00:21:58,317
one of these bars
here on Halstead.
434
00:21:58,402 --> 00:22:01,320
I say we split up, ask around
for a Leslie Summers.
435
00:22:01,405 --> 00:22:02,613
Right.
436
00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:20,756
Hey there, sweet little thing.
437
00:22:20,882 --> 00:22:22,967
Hey there,
you sweet manly thing.
438
00:22:23,718 --> 00:22:25,052
You know,
I really love your shirt.
439
00:22:25,220 --> 00:22:26,554
Do I know you?
440
00:22:26,638 --> 00:22:28,264
I'm Jennifer.
441
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:33,310
Well, Jennifer, just relax, take it
slow, and let the good times roll,
442
00:22:33,854 --> 00:22:35,271
because Daddy's a regular here!
443
00:22:35,397 --> 00:22:36,856
Do you wanna get a drink?
444
00:22:36,940 --> 00:22:39,150
You're goddamn right I do.
445
00:22:41,945 --> 00:22:43,529
Two cold ones.
446
00:22:44,030 --> 00:22:46,365
You know, my friend would
really dig your vibe.
447
00:22:46,450 --> 00:22:47,450
Will you wait here?
448
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:48,492
Sure thing, babe.
449
00:22:48,577 --> 00:22:50,411
- Good.
- All right.
450
00:22:51,329 --> 00:22:52,413
How you feeling, sexy?
451
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:53,622
Pretty good.
452
00:22:53,790 --> 00:22:55,875
You have a deep voice.
453
00:22:55,959 --> 00:22:57,334
That's not all.
454
00:22:58,503 --> 00:22:59,712
Right.
455
00:23:00,505 --> 00:23:02,256
You look really cute tonight.
456
00:23:02,382 --> 00:23:04,091
Thanks. I guess.
457
00:23:04,801 --> 00:23:06,302
What the...
458
00:23:08,346 --> 00:23:10,681
Feeling a little frisky?
459
00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:15,019
Game over.
What's happening here?
460
00:23:18,565 --> 00:23:19,940
Hey. Any luck?
461
00:23:20,066 --> 00:23:21,442
Not so much.
462
00:23:21,610 --> 00:23:23,152
All right, let's...
463
00:23:26,740 --> 00:23:28,115
This is Bear.
464
00:23:28,283 --> 00:23:29,658
Hey!
465
00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:32,036
You are a bear.
466
00:23:34,498 --> 00:23:35,664
Yeah.
467
00:23:37,501 --> 00:23:38,876
How much you bench?
468
00:23:39,002 --> 00:23:40,377
How much you weigh?
469
00:23:40,504 --> 00:23:42,922
Why? You wanna try
and pick me up?
470
00:23:43,924 --> 00:23:45,466
Yeah, I think I could.
471
00:23:45,634 --> 00:23:47,218
Yeah, I bet you could.
472
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:50,888
You are big.
I could use a guy like you on my team.
473
00:23:51,473 --> 00:23:55,518
Are you talking about our team?
Or an actual team?
474
00:23:55,936 --> 00:23:59,813
What the hell is "our team"?
Hi, where's the girl?
475
00:23:59,981 --> 00:24:02,358
What the fuck
are we talking about?
476
00:24:02,442 --> 00:24:04,985
You need to take
another look around.
477
00:24:08,323 --> 00:24:09,532
You look fabulous!
478
00:24:09,658 --> 00:24:10,866
Hey, honey.
479
00:24:10,951 --> 00:24:13,702
My God.
What the fuck is going on?
480
00:24:16,414 --> 00:24:18,832
Come on,
is that all you've got?
481
00:24:20,168 --> 00:24:21,502
Pussy!
482
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:25,381
I must have came to the wrong place.
Stifler.
483
00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:27,508
- Stifler.
- Man.
484
00:24:27,592 --> 00:24:29,385
It's so good to see you.
485
00:24:29,469 --> 00:24:31,887
How did you get up the nerve
to check out a gay bar?
486
00:24:31,972 --> 00:24:35,099
Really don't wanna talk about it right now.
I just wanna go home.
487
00:24:35,183 --> 00:24:36,225
Your friend here
was just leaving.
488
00:24:36,309 --> 00:24:37,309
Eat shit.
489
00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:38,769
Did you find Leslie?
490
00:24:38,895 --> 00:24:40,271
Fuck your stupid dressmaker.
491
00:24:40,355 --> 00:24:41,897
You guys know Leslie Summers?
492
00:24:42,023 --> 00:24:43,607
We're trying to find her.
493
00:24:45,777 --> 00:24:47,528
You know what?
I think you guys are out of luck.
494
00:24:47,612 --> 00:24:48,612
Why don't you go home?
495
00:24:48,822 --> 00:24:50,823
No. You know Leslie Summers?
He knows her.
496
00:24:50,907 --> 00:24:53,993
My friends and I, we just drove
all the way from Michigan
497
00:24:54,077 --> 00:24:56,704
to find my fiancée the wedding
dress that she deserves.
498
00:24:56,788 --> 00:24:58,414
We need Leslie
to make it for us.
499
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,207
Can you please
help us find her?
500
00:25:00,292 --> 00:25:03,544
I'm sure Leslie always helps
associates of assholes.
501
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,382
What are you looking at?
I'm not a steak.
502
00:25:08,550 --> 00:25:12,261
Listen, breeder, not every gay
man wants to have sex with you.
503
00:25:12,345 --> 00:25:16,557
Yeah? Listen up, ass jockey.
If I were gay, you'd want me!
504
00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,601
- Really?
- Really.
505
00:25:18,685 --> 00:25:23,022
I got style. I'm cultured.
I'm sophisticated.
506
00:25:23,106 --> 00:25:27,234
And all that just radiates
from your oh-so-sexy self.
507
00:25:27,319 --> 00:25:31,071
That's bullshit.
Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister.
508
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:35,784
Yeah, right!
509
00:25:38,872 --> 00:25:40,247
Without a doubt.
510
00:25:41,458 --> 00:25:43,250
- I'll show you fuckers.
- Bye.
511
00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:45,169
- Everybody say bye.
- Bye.
512
00:25:47,714 --> 00:25:48,672
Bye.
513
00:25:48,757 --> 00:25:50,507
Good luck with the dress.
514
00:25:53,803 --> 00:25:55,179
Give us a drink.
515
00:26:26,336 --> 00:26:27,878
Mother of God.
516
00:26:45,563 --> 00:26:46,814
Bitch!
517
00:26:59,661 --> 00:27:01,453
What is this, a dance-off?
518
00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:05,374
Yeah?
519
00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:37,424
I love you!
520
00:28:37,967 --> 00:28:39,134
What?
521
00:28:39,552 --> 00:28:42,513
Fabulous. Seeing that
was worth anything.
522
00:28:42,597 --> 00:28:45,557
Look, I'm Leslie Summers and
you've got yourself a dress.
523
00:28:48,144 --> 00:28:50,938
My God. Thank you. Thank you.
524
00:28:51,731 --> 00:28:54,191
Yeah, no problem.
Say, who's your friend?
525
00:28:54,275 --> 00:28:55,526
Kevin.
526
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:03,116
Was that the best
night ever or what?
527
00:29:03,201 --> 00:29:04,284
Are you kidding me?
528
00:29:04,410 --> 00:29:05,494
Yeah, it was amazing.
529
00:29:05,578 --> 00:29:06,995
Hey, guys!
530
00:29:08,706 --> 00:29:12,584
When you get your bachelor party
together, I manage some girls in town.
531
00:29:13,002 --> 00:29:14,044
Real ones.
532
00:29:14,170 --> 00:29:15,212
All right.
533
00:29:16,756 --> 00:29:18,006
Call me.
534
00:29:18,216 --> 00:29:20,759
Damn, Stiffy,
you got some moves.
535
00:29:27,016 --> 00:29:29,309
I told you that guy
wanted to fuck me.
536
00:29:31,437 --> 00:29:34,314
I can't believe this.
They're really gonna make the dress for me?
537
00:29:34,399 --> 00:29:36,608
They're expecting your call.
Go ahead.
538
00:29:36,693 --> 00:29:39,778
This is so cool. I love you.
539
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:41,613
Thank you.
540
00:29:46,411 --> 00:29:48,120
Well, that worked out.
541
00:29:49,289 --> 00:29:52,499
Maybe it's time we had
that special dinner chat.
542
00:29:52,709 --> 00:29:54,376
I'll have turkey.
543
00:29:59,507 --> 00:30:01,008
Thanks for helping out.
544
00:30:01,092 --> 00:30:03,844
We're so close and there's
still so much to do.
545
00:30:06,890 --> 00:30:08,056
Cadence!
546
00:30:19,152 --> 00:30:20,277
- Hey!
- Hi!
547
00:30:22,614 --> 00:30:26,575
Cadence, this is Paul Finch.
Finch, meet my younger sister, Cadence.
548
00:30:26,659 --> 00:30:27,910
Nice to meet you.
549
00:30:28,036 --> 00:30:29,328
You're reading Descartes.
550
00:30:29,704 --> 00:30:34,291
Yeah. Cogito ergo sum.
"I think, therefore I am."
551
00:30:35,126 --> 00:30:39,004
Hungry.
552
00:30:41,299 --> 00:30:43,425
So, when's Mark getting in?
553
00:30:43,551 --> 00:30:45,719
Let's see. That would be never.
554
00:30:46,638 --> 00:30:47,888
Did you guys break up?
555
00:30:48,056 --> 00:30:49,306
How tragic.
556
00:30:50,016 --> 00:30:52,392
Sorry, Paul Finch. Girl stuff.
557
00:30:58,608 --> 00:30:59,942
Just stay calm.
558
00:31:00,443 --> 00:31:03,195
I'm available, she's available.
It's all good.
559
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:06,990
She's a beautiful girl,
and you're you.
560
00:31:08,493 --> 00:31:09,701
Spill it, sister.
What's the problem?
561
00:31:09,786 --> 00:31:11,036
I dumped him.
562
00:31:11,287 --> 00:31:15,207
But it was Mark. I thought you
really liked him. He was nice.
563
00:31:15,291 --> 00:31:19,586
Yeah, but sometimes
nice isn't so nice.
564
00:31:20,588 --> 00:31:22,547
Wait. Hold on.
Let me get this straight.
565
00:31:22,632 --> 00:31:24,091
He didn't want to do it.
566
00:31:24,175 --> 00:31:26,093
He said he didn't
want to ruin what we had
567
00:31:26,219 --> 00:31:28,136
by deflowering ourselves.
568
00:31:28,221 --> 00:31:30,514
Who the hell uses
the word "deflower"?
569
00:31:32,058 --> 00:31:33,225
It's like
something Mom would say.
570
00:31:33,351 --> 00:31:34,559
Yeah.
571
00:31:34,769 --> 00:31:38,271
And I'm starting to realize Mom and
Dad's idea of appropriate behavior
572
00:31:38,690 --> 00:31:41,233
might be a little bit
different than mine.
573
00:31:41,901 --> 00:31:43,568
Mish, you're in love.
574
00:31:43,653 --> 00:31:45,946
You're getting married.
I mean, what's this like?
575
00:31:46,114 --> 00:31:47,364
It's like it's...
576
00:31:47,782 --> 00:31:49,825
I'm never going to
be able to explain it.
577
00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:52,369
I wanted us to write our
own vows for the wedding
578
00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:54,162
and now I can't do mine.
579
00:31:55,164 --> 00:31:57,040
How do you explain love?
580
00:31:58,418 --> 00:32:00,252
I guess I wouldn't know.
581
00:32:00,336 --> 00:32:03,130
I don't think I've ever
felt that way about a guy.
582
00:32:03,214 --> 00:32:04,381
Someday you will.
583
00:32:04,507 --> 00:32:05,674
Maybe.
584
00:32:06,259 --> 00:32:08,135
But in the meantime,
I don't think it would hurt
585
00:32:08,302 --> 00:32:10,178
to get a little
rowdy this weekend.
586
00:32:10,513 --> 00:32:14,016
Jim's got single friends, right?
Is Finch a possibility?
587
00:32:14,308 --> 00:32:15,767
Finch is bonable.
588
00:32:15,852 --> 00:32:17,519
Yes, he is bonable.
589
00:32:22,900 --> 00:32:26,153
Dickhead. Do not send shit
to my office at school.
590
00:32:26,237 --> 00:32:28,947
Hey, Stifler, why don't you come
in and make yourself comfortable?
591
00:32:29,032 --> 00:32:30,407
Your letter made
a great impression
592
00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:31,950
on Coach Marshall
when he read it.
593
00:32:32,035 --> 00:32:34,036
Let me refresh
your memory, partner.
594
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:36,872
"Dear Steve, I will be forever in
your debt if you teach me to dance"
595
00:32:36,956 --> 00:32:38,457
"like you did in the gay bar."
596
00:32:38,541 --> 00:32:40,375
I put serious thought
into that letter.
597
00:32:40,460 --> 00:32:44,504
Don't push me,
'cause I'm close to the edge.
598
00:32:44,589 --> 00:32:47,257
I'm trying not to lose my head.
599
00:32:51,304 --> 00:32:54,056
These are really
nice for a bridesmaid dress.
600
00:32:54,432 --> 00:32:57,184
At least something
you can actually wear again.
601
00:32:57,769 --> 00:33:00,270
You don't think
it's too sexy, do you?
602
00:33:00,354 --> 00:33:02,439
I mean, I don't want to seem
slutty or anything.
603
00:33:02,523 --> 00:33:04,357
I'm trying to
attract a decent guy here.
604
00:33:04,776 --> 00:33:07,486
It's a wedding.
They'll all be decent guys.
605
00:33:08,237 --> 00:33:11,156
I just don't feel
quite like a virgin in it.
606
00:33:16,579 --> 00:33:18,955
So, you guys have to be psyched
to be done with college.
607
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,167
I mean, I swear, I'm running out of
room in my brain for everything.
608
00:33:22,543 --> 00:33:25,295
There's always room
for Plato and Aristotle.
609
00:33:25,463 --> 00:33:27,339
Some of my favorites.
610
00:33:29,342 --> 00:33:31,009
Excuse me, guys.
611
00:33:31,594 --> 00:33:34,638
Finch, she thinks
you were being sarcastic.
612
00:33:34,847 --> 00:33:37,474
Okay. It's so good to see you.
613
00:33:38,351 --> 00:33:41,228
You want some help?
Here, let me help you out there.
614
00:33:41,395 --> 00:33:44,773
There you go.
You keep fighting the good fight, sir.
615
00:33:46,984 --> 00:33:48,443
That's great.
616
00:33:48,903 --> 00:33:50,195
That was really sweet of you.
617
00:33:50,321 --> 00:33:51,613
Yeah.
618
00:33:52,490 --> 00:33:54,699
I love old people, you know?
619
00:33:56,077 --> 00:33:59,037
Hey, I hate to be
nosy and impolite,
620
00:33:59,122 --> 00:34:01,164
but do you know Jim Levenstein
and Michelle Flaherty?
621
00:34:01,249 --> 00:34:02,874
- Yeah.
- Are they here?
622
00:34:02,959 --> 00:34:04,751
Well, I'm Cadence,
Michelle's sister.
623
00:34:05,211 --> 00:34:08,004
I had no idea. I'm their
good friend, Steven.
624
00:34:08,089 --> 00:34:09,214
Nice to meet you.
625
00:34:09,340 --> 00:34:10,507
Yeah, you, too.
626
00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:12,676
Well, they're around town
doing some wedding stuff.
627
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:13,844
That's cool.
628
00:34:13,928 --> 00:34:16,805
But there's still a few of us in the
other room if you want to join us.
629
00:34:16,889 --> 00:34:18,598
I don't know.
630
00:34:18,933 --> 00:34:21,351
You look so nice.
I feel underdressed.
631
00:34:22,520 --> 00:34:23,603
Well, I think you look great.
632
00:34:23,771 --> 00:34:24,855
Thank you.
633
00:34:25,773 --> 00:34:27,440
Here they are.
634
00:34:27,525 --> 00:34:29,401
- Hi, boys.
- Don't stand up.
635
00:34:30,361 --> 00:34:31,611
The dads aren't here yet?
636
00:34:31,779 --> 00:34:33,071
I'll go find them.
637
00:34:33,239 --> 00:34:35,907
Which one of you
is the best man?
638
00:34:35,992 --> 00:34:39,953
Jim didn't pick just one.
Or I mean, he couldn't decide.
639
00:34:40,538 --> 00:34:42,122
Hey, Paul. Hey, Kevin.
640
00:34:42,290 --> 00:34:43,874
Mom, I want you to meet Steven.
641
00:34:44,292 --> 00:34:48,211
He's friends of Jim's and
mine and everyone's.
642
00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:50,839
You look very familiar, Steven.
643
00:34:50,965 --> 00:34:52,966
Really? I'm afraid
we've never met.
644
00:34:53,509 --> 00:34:54,968
Well, we have now.
645
00:34:56,387 --> 00:34:59,306
Looks like you
found Samantha's Sweets.
646
00:34:59,390 --> 00:35:01,975
Isn't their
chocolate just to die for?
647
00:35:02,185 --> 00:35:03,393
You have no idea.
648
00:35:03,519 --> 00:35:04,769
Actually, I do.
649
00:35:04,854 --> 00:35:06,146
I love chocolate more than...
650
00:35:06,314 --> 00:35:07,647
More than life itself!
651
00:35:07,732 --> 00:35:09,983
I was just
saying to your friends
652
00:35:10,484 --> 00:35:12,736
I have something
very precious here.
653
00:35:12,862 --> 00:35:14,029
What is it?
654
00:35:14,614 --> 00:35:18,491
Michelle's grandmother's,
my mother's, wedding ring.
655
00:35:18,868 --> 00:35:20,619
Isn't that precious?
656
00:35:20,703 --> 00:35:22,996
Since all of you
are the best man,
657
00:35:23,164 --> 00:35:25,498
I don't know
who should hold onto it.
658
00:35:25,583 --> 00:35:26,875
I think it's best if I...
659
00:35:29,462 --> 00:35:32,672
I think you should get to know
us first and then decide.
660
00:35:33,382 --> 00:35:36,051
You are such
a gentleman, Steve.
661
00:35:36,135 --> 00:35:38,970
I hear that all the time,
but it never gets old.
662
00:35:39,430 --> 00:35:41,139
Hey, Paul,
do you have a camera?
663
00:35:41,265 --> 00:35:43,016
How thoughtful.
664
00:35:44,769 --> 00:35:48,146
I must've forgotten
my camera at home, Steven.
665
00:35:48,231 --> 00:35:50,523
Maybe you could take,
like, a mental note.
666
00:35:52,485 --> 00:35:53,652
I won't forget this moment.
667
00:35:53,778 --> 00:35:54,986
I'll bet you won't.
668
00:35:55,071 --> 00:35:56,613
Would you care to
join us, Steven?
669
00:35:56,739 --> 00:35:58,281
I'd love to. Thank you.
670
00:35:58,366 --> 00:35:59,824
Good to see you fellows.
Thank you.
671
00:36:06,791 --> 00:36:09,459
Amazing.
672
00:36:09,543 --> 00:36:11,336
What the hell is he doing
near my flowers?
673
00:36:11,420 --> 00:36:14,089
I love the way
the tulips accentuate the...
674
00:36:14,173 --> 00:36:15,423
What do you call
those again, sir?
675
00:36:15,549 --> 00:36:16,841
Double lisianthus.
676
00:36:16,926 --> 00:36:18,218
Lisianthus.
677
00:36:18,386 --> 00:36:19,719
Double lisianthums.
678
00:36:20,137 --> 00:36:21,888
What a pretty name.
679
00:36:24,934 --> 00:36:28,812
I told him to be nice, or he
couldn't come to the wedding.
680
00:36:28,896 --> 00:36:30,939
Okay, I will take care of this.
I will take care of this.
681
00:36:31,023 --> 00:36:32,274
James. Great. Come on over.
682
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,692
Great, come on over.
683
00:36:33,776 --> 00:36:36,278
You can see if I forgot anything.
I don't think I...
684
00:36:36,904 --> 00:36:38,029
We're having a great time.
685
00:36:38,114 --> 00:36:40,448
I think I've got it all.
Look, look, look.
686
00:36:41,367 --> 00:36:43,410
Sahara and desert rose for
687
00:36:43,494 --> 00:36:45,537
your bridesmaids' bouquet.
688
00:36:45,621 --> 00:36:47,706
Give me that. Smell this.
689
00:36:49,125 --> 00:36:51,251
It's fantastic.
Fantastic. And...
690
00:36:57,341 --> 00:36:58,842
Look at this!
691
00:37:01,220 --> 00:37:03,471
Let's go look at
the candelabrum, honey.
692
00:37:03,556 --> 00:37:06,057
I think with
the summer blossoms...
693
00:37:06,267 --> 00:37:07,642
Thank you for everything.
694
00:37:07,727 --> 00:37:09,060
What'd you think, girls?
Isn't this adorable?
695
00:37:09,186 --> 00:37:10,520
Bye, Cadence.
696
00:37:10,604 --> 00:37:13,773
Okay, I know what you're doing.
Look, have you seen yourself?
697
00:37:13,858 --> 00:37:15,442
I can't believe
you're doing this, Stifler.
698
00:37:15,609 --> 00:37:17,235
Just calm down, dude.
699
00:37:17,320 --> 00:37:18,903
- It's all set.
- What's set?
700
00:37:18,988 --> 00:37:21,865
I'm gonna teach you to dance
like a Baryshninikov.
701
00:37:22,742 --> 00:37:23,742
Yeah.
702
00:37:24,076 --> 00:37:25,160
He is pretty good.
703
00:37:25,578 --> 00:37:27,203
Jim, he's not
doing it to be nice.
704
00:37:27,288 --> 00:37:28,788
He's doing it to bone Cadence.
705
00:37:28,873 --> 00:37:30,206
Look, maybe we should
give him a chance.
706
00:37:30,291 --> 00:37:31,499
You know, I think
707
00:37:31,709 --> 00:37:35,462
that underneath all the "fucks"
and "shits" and "blow me's"
708
00:37:35,546 --> 00:37:37,589
there's a very sensitive person
709
00:37:37,673 --> 00:37:39,674
who is just
thirsty for acceptance.
710
00:37:39,759 --> 00:37:41,384
That's what I think.
711
00:37:42,345 --> 00:37:45,180
Jim, you've got
to stop masturbating.
712
00:37:45,264 --> 00:37:46,306
It's melting your brain.
713
00:37:46,932 --> 00:37:49,100
Observe
the fucking Stifmeister.
714
00:37:49,226 --> 00:37:51,394
What is his
defining characteristic?
715
00:37:53,022 --> 00:37:55,523
He uses the "F"
word excessively.
716
00:37:55,649 --> 00:37:58,443
Thanks, man.
But I also have confidence.
717
00:37:58,611 --> 00:38:00,111
You're one big floppy cock.
718
00:38:00,196 --> 00:38:03,031
Look at you.
You got to stand like a man.
719
00:38:03,115 --> 00:38:05,867
Your posture tells
your partner where to go.
720
00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:06,951
- Okay?
- Okay.
721
00:38:07,161 --> 00:38:08,787
Follow my lead.
722
00:38:10,039 --> 00:38:11,623
This is the waltz.
723
00:38:11,749 --> 00:38:13,333
Waltz? Okay.
724
00:38:14,668 --> 00:38:15,960
Waltz. Okay.
725
00:38:18,381 --> 00:38:19,839
That's pretty good.
726
00:38:20,007 --> 00:38:21,466
You're fucking right it's good.
727
00:38:21,550 --> 00:38:24,344
I'm gonna save your ass
in this wedding.
728
00:38:24,428 --> 00:38:26,805
Pretty soon you're gonna
want me to shave your balls.
729
00:38:26,889 --> 00:38:30,183
Should I shave my balls?
Do you shave your balls? How do you do it?
730
00:38:30,309 --> 00:38:31,684
Dude! No.
731
00:38:35,564 --> 00:38:37,273
I'm just... Shaving...
732
00:38:38,442 --> 00:38:40,568
You know, there's
nothing like a local pub.
733
00:38:40,653 --> 00:38:42,404
It's like real America,
734
00:38:42,488 --> 00:38:44,948
without all that corporateness
and catchy jingles.
735
00:38:45,032 --> 00:38:46,616
What's wrong
with a good jingle?
736
00:38:46,700 --> 00:38:49,285
I think it was
Voltaire who said,
737
00:38:50,371 --> 00:38:54,624
"A jingle witty proves everything
for my friends and I."
738
00:38:57,586 --> 00:39:00,839
Cadence, I didn't know
you were gonna be here.
739
00:39:01,048 --> 00:39:03,508
You're just in time for
Voltaire's greatest hits.
740
00:39:03,592 --> 00:39:06,594
Voltaire? Stifler, please,
who was Voltaire?
741
00:39:06,679 --> 00:39:09,556
Someone much wiser than you,
I'm afraid, Finch.
742
00:39:09,640 --> 00:39:13,726
Actually, I'm getting a little burned
out on all the intellectual stuff.
743
00:39:13,936 --> 00:39:15,687
Yeah, me, too.
744
00:39:16,063 --> 00:39:17,605
Being smart is so hard.
745
00:39:21,193 --> 00:39:23,653
I'll give you
some intelligence.
746
00:39:24,738 --> 00:39:27,449
Voltaire can suck on my balls.
747
00:39:29,452 --> 00:39:30,660
What?
748
00:39:30,995 --> 00:39:33,413
It's about time somebody
finally came out and said it.
749
00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:35,582
Hey, I'm gonna give you
a quote to live by.
750
00:39:35,666 --> 00:39:37,542
"Love life, get paid,
and then get laid."
751
00:39:37,626 --> 00:39:41,087
That is the basic philosophy
of the Finchmeister.
752
00:39:41,297 --> 00:39:42,630
I like that.
753
00:39:42,715 --> 00:39:43,756
Bet you do.
754
00:39:44,425 --> 00:39:46,843
Really? I don't know
why you do,
755
00:39:46,927 --> 00:39:49,512
because Finchmeister doesn't
make any frigging sense.
756
00:39:49,597 --> 00:39:50,930
Sure it does.
757
00:39:51,056 --> 00:39:52,432
No fucking shit it does.
758
00:39:54,935 --> 00:39:58,521
Cadence, let's leave
the cray-ton here, shall we?
759
00:39:58,606 --> 00:40:00,773
Whatever. Fuck it.
I'm walking, anyway.
760
00:40:00,858 --> 00:40:05,111
You know, I think I'm gonna go stretch
my legs with the Finchmeister.
761
00:40:05,237 --> 00:40:06,446
You don't mind, do you, Steven?
762
00:40:06,614 --> 00:40:07,864
No.
763
00:40:10,659 --> 00:40:11,659
Ha!
764
00:40:16,290 --> 00:40:18,791
It's on like
Donkey Kong, bitch.
765
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,377
Pack it up, bitch.
766
00:40:21,504 --> 00:40:22,921
I'm on it. Thank you.
767
00:40:23,005 --> 00:40:26,466
So, Cadence say
anything about me?
768
00:40:26,550 --> 00:40:29,969
Whatever you and Finch are pulling,
she seems to like you both.
769
00:40:30,095 --> 00:40:33,223
Finch. She gonna be around
tomorrow night?
770
00:40:33,432 --> 00:40:36,726
No, she's going up to Chicago with
Michelle for the final dress fitting.
771
00:40:36,810 --> 00:40:38,102
What about her parents?
772
00:40:38,812 --> 00:40:40,730
I think her mom
kind of likes me.
773
00:40:40,814 --> 00:40:44,400
They're going up north
with my parents
774
00:40:44,485 --> 00:40:46,819
to get things ready
for the rehearsal.
775
00:40:46,904 --> 00:40:48,655
So that's where they'll be.
776
00:40:48,739 --> 00:40:51,574
So don't bother looking for
them or anything, you know?
777
00:40:51,659 --> 00:40:53,910
A wedding. Shit.
778
00:40:55,412 --> 00:40:57,664
How do you know
she's the right girl?
779
00:40:57,748 --> 00:40:58,998
I just do.
780
00:40:59,124 --> 00:41:01,209
I'm a better person
when I'm with Michelle.
781
00:41:01,293 --> 00:41:03,086
Nobody else can...
No, shithead.
782
00:41:03,170 --> 00:41:06,548
You hooked up with one other
girl for what? 10 seconds?
783
00:41:06,632 --> 00:41:10,218
Not to mention you passed on Nadia.
Dumbest fucking thing ever.
784
00:41:10,302 --> 00:41:12,971
You're like a blind man picking
out his favorite porno.
785
00:41:13,055 --> 00:41:14,847
That shit is crazy.
786
00:41:18,269 --> 00:41:20,603
This is just the old
pre-wedding jitters, Son.
787
00:41:20,688 --> 00:41:23,231
It's so forever.
You know, it's...
788
00:41:23,691 --> 00:41:27,610
You know, Michelle is the only
girl that I've been with.
789
00:41:27,820 --> 00:41:31,698
Honestly, now, would you have
passed up sex with Nadia?
790
00:41:33,200 --> 00:41:35,368
Why? Did she say something?
791
00:41:36,161 --> 00:41:37,954
Hypothetically, Dad.
792
00:41:38,038 --> 00:41:39,664
Hypothetically. Well,
793
00:41:39,748 --> 00:41:41,791
you know, Jim,
I'm a married man.
794
00:41:42,418 --> 00:41:43,668
If you weren't married.
795
00:41:44,211 --> 00:41:45,461
She's a college girl.
796
00:41:45,838 --> 00:41:46,879
If you were a college guy.
797
00:41:46,964 --> 00:41:49,424
In a heartbeat. Yeah.
798
00:41:50,259 --> 00:41:52,176
First of all,
what you're feeling
799
00:41:52,303 --> 00:41:54,220
is so normal
and perfectly natural.
800
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:56,055
Marriage is not about
801
00:41:56,557 --> 00:41:59,309
animal lusting,
and kinky sex games.
802
00:41:59,393 --> 00:42:01,436
It's not so much about
803
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:04,647
who's the dog and who's
the fire hydrant tonight.
804
00:42:04,732 --> 00:42:06,357
It's deeper than that.
805
00:42:06,442 --> 00:42:10,987
The longer a marriage lasts,
the longer you can go
806
00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:13,448
without sex.
807
00:42:13,532 --> 00:42:15,950
But when that
magic night does happen,
808
00:42:17,036 --> 00:42:18,870
it's all the more meaningful.
809
00:42:18,954 --> 00:42:20,955
Let me tell you,
your mother, bless her,
810
00:42:21,081 --> 00:42:23,124
can still make me
squeal like a pig.
811
00:42:23,667 --> 00:42:25,168
I mean that in the good sense.
812
00:42:25,252 --> 00:42:26,586
Do you follow what I'm saying?
813
00:42:26,670 --> 00:42:28,421
You understand
where I'm going here?
814
00:42:28,589 --> 00:42:30,340
I do. I think...
815
00:42:30,424 --> 00:42:31,466
Anything else you need?
816
00:42:31,592 --> 00:42:32,717
No. No. That's...
817
00:42:35,179 --> 00:42:36,929
Anything I can do.
818
00:42:56,075 --> 00:42:59,994
He's not here. Park the cars down
there where he won't see them.
819
00:43:06,335 --> 00:43:07,377
Whoo!
820
00:43:07,461 --> 00:43:09,087
Fucking right!
821
00:43:09,463 --> 00:43:11,130
So, you like my pants, Stiffy?
822
00:43:11,215 --> 00:43:13,216
Whatever, dude.
As long as the girls are worth it.
823
00:43:13,300 --> 00:43:15,635
They're worth it.
And if you got good wine, too,
824
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,178
that'll score points for you.
825
00:43:17,262 --> 00:43:18,971
I think there's
some in the basement.
826
00:43:19,056 --> 00:43:21,891
I'll get it. You ain't
gonna want to miss this.
827
00:43:24,645 --> 00:43:27,480
Gentlemen,
I would like to introduce
828
00:43:27,689 --> 00:43:31,401
officer Krystal
und Fräulein Brandi!
829
00:43:32,986 --> 00:43:34,404
My God.
830
00:43:38,867 --> 00:43:39,867
My God.
831
00:43:40,202 --> 00:43:42,537
You boys have been very messy.
832
00:43:47,042 --> 00:43:48,126
Whoops.
833
00:43:48,210 --> 00:43:49,794
Can you see my fanny?
834
00:43:49,878 --> 00:43:51,546
Whoops.
835
00:44:01,014 --> 00:44:02,849
You naughty girl.
836
00:44:05,269 --> 00:44:07,353
None of that
pleading the Fifth crap.
837
00:44:07,438 --> 00:44:08,855
You boys are gonna talk.
838
00:44:14,153 --> 00:44:15,153
My God!
839
00:44:17,239 --> 00:44:19,115
Are you just gonna
stand there and drool?
840
00:44:19,241 --> 00:44:20,366
Or we gonna have
a bachelor party?
841
00:44:20,492 --> 00:44:21,617
Fuck, yeah, we are!
842
00:44:21,702 --> 00:44:22,702
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
843
00:44:22,786 --> 00:44:24,745
What? I can't hear you.
844
00:44:25,247 --> 00:44:26,247
Louder!
845
00:44:26,748 --> 00:44:27,874
Yes.
846
00:44:28,250 --> 00:44:29,459
Bachelor party.
847
00:44:29,585 --> 00:44:30,793
I can't hear you. Louder!
848
00:44:31,545 --> 00:44:33,254
Stick a finger in my ass!
849
00:44:36,758 --> 00:44:38,009
That's weird.
850
00:44:38,093 --> 00:44:39,427
You just wait.
851
00:44:39,511 --> 00:44:41,762
Maybe we should
just wait for Jim.
852
00:44:42,389 --> 00:44:44,348
Fuck Jim, man! This is for us!
853
00:44:44,433 --> 00:44:45,516
Take her top off.
854
00:44:45,601 --> 00:44:48,811
My girlfriend has strict rules about this.
No touching.
855
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:51,856
What are you, a dancing clown?
856
00:44:51,940 --> 00:44:55,568
You wipe that shit-eating grin off
your face, you punk-ass little bitch!
857
00:44:55,652 --> 00:44:56,944
This is awesome!
858
00:44:57,112 --> 00:44:58,529
You like that?
Like it? How much? No!
859
00:44:58,614 --> 00:44:59,822
Yeah, I do. Boob.
860
00:45:02,117 --> 00:45:03,159
Sorry.
861
00:45:03,619 --> 00:45:06,454
No, not yet. But you will be.
862
00:45:07,331 --> 00:45:09,665
Like I said, this is awesome.
863
00:45:17,299 --> 00:45:19,509
Hey, listen,
I think we both know
864
00:45:19,635 --> 00:45:23,513
that Officer Krystal and me
have this, you know...
865
00:45:23,680 --> 00:45:24,972
- Thing?
- Yeah.
866
00:45:32,856 --> 00:45:35,733
No one has ever
slapped my ass like that.
867
00:45:36,193 --> 00:45:39,070
No one's ever pinched my
nipple with such ferocity.
868
00:45:45,244 --> 00:45:48,704
I'm a master of
the Tantric art.
869
00:45:49,665 --> 00:45:51,916
I look at her
body and I just see
870
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,669
the chakras and the things
I could do to her and...
871
00:46:06,098 --> 00:46:10,351
- You, you look cute.
- Thank you.
872
00:46:10,852 --> 00:46:12,603
You, you're the cute one.
873
00:46:12,980 --> 00:46:14,647
Stiffy, how slimming is this?
874
00:46:15,524 --> 00:46:18,025
What the fuck, Buffalo Bill?
875
00:46:19,069 --> 00:46:21,279
What? The pink too much?
876
00:46:21,780 --> 00:46:25,533
It puts the dress in the
drawer and does as it's told.
877
00:46:26,785 --> 00:46:29,203
Dude, now that's fucked up.
878
00:46:29,913 --> 00:46:31,289
That's fucked up.
879
00:46:31,915 --> 00:46:34,458
And in closing, you have been
a naughty, naughty girl.
880
00:46:35,711 --> 00:46:39,088
You been naughty, Brandi?
You been fucking naughty?
881
00:46:40,549 --> 00:46:41,757
Fresh.
882
00:46:43,468 --> 00:46:44,552
Take her top off!
883
00:46:45,554 --> 00:46:48,222
Will you get to cleaning,
you little bitch fucker.
884
00:46:50,934 --> 00:46:52,310
Do you want to see us kiss?
885
00:46:55,105 --> 00:46:56,480
Fuck, no!
886
00:46:56,773 --> 00:46:58,899
None of that "you go,
we go" bullshit.
887
00:46:59,234 --> 00:47:01,110
- We've already done that.
- Good of you.
888
00:47:13,248 --> 00:47:15,625
I used to have this pet bass.
889
00:47:16,084 --> 00:47:18,669
His name was Arnie,
and he was so cute
890
00:47:18,754 --> 00:47:21,964
and he just loved me, too, you know.
He would look at me...
891
00:47:22,090 --> 00:47:23,174
Maybe you could dance.
892
00:47:23,258 --> 00:47:24,717
Make this face like...
893
00:47:25,260 --> 00:47:27,428
Or something like that.
I don't know. It was great.
894
00:47:27,512 --> 00:47:29,221
I miss Arnie, but...
895
00:47:29,306 --> 00:47:31,515
Sometimes I watch
the Discovery Channel.
896
00:47:31,600 --> 00:47:32,808
I love that show.
897
00:47:32,893 --> 00:47:34,268
I don't care!
898
00:47:34,936 --> 00:47:37,480
Could you just
dance for me, please?
899
00:47:37,689 --> 00:47:41,525
No, that's my favorite...
Well, was my favorite shirt.
900
00:47:42,277 --> 00:47:43,277
Okay...
901
00:47:43,737 --> 00:47:44,737
Hey.
902
00:47:45,697 --> 00:47:46,864
What?
903
00:47:48,450 --> 00:47:49,700
Nothing.
904
00:47:51,036 --> 00:47:52,828
It's a crazy party, huh?
905
00:48:03,006 --> 00:48:05,716
You don't worry about him.
You don't worry about him.
906
00:48:07,511 --> 00:48:10,680
He's a maniac.
You're a maniac, you know that?
907
00:48:17,187 --> 00:48:20,439
Stifler, why in the world
are you focused on me?
908
00:48:20,524 --> 00:48:22,233
I'm just surprised to
see you don't have tits.
909
00:48:23,318 --> 00:48:25,569
How can I clean you
if you are not dirty?
910
00:48:26,154 --> 00:48:29,657
Go put something on that I
must clean off with my tongue.
911
00:48:31,660 --> 00:48:33,577
Anything for a French person.
912
00:48:33,829 --> 00:48:35,871
If you insist, fräulein.
913
00:48:51,722 --> 00:48:53,848
Look at you, you
pathetic little weasel.
914
00:48:54,349 --> 00:48:55,683
Can't I just watch?
915
00:48:56,518 --> 00:48:59,937
Look, you don't have to do
anything if you don't want to.
916
00:49:01,231 --> 00:49:05,317
Hold on! Don't break
character ever again, okay?
917
00:49:05,402 --> 00:49:07,403
I don't care
if Kevin starts crying
918
00:49:07,487 --> 00:49:08,946
because Finch bit his cock off.
919
00:49:09,030 --> 00:49:10,740
You're a dirty cop,
you're a prissy maid.
920
00:49:11,116 --> 00:49:13,826
And I'm your filthy cabana boy in
need of punishment and cleaning.
921
00:49:14,202 --> 00:49:16,704
Don't you ever mouth
off to Officer Krystal,
922
00:49:16,788 --> 00:49:18,539
- you dirty little pervert!
- Okay.
923
00:49:18,623 --> 00:49:20,541
- Now obey!
- I obey!
924
00:49:21,793 --> 00:49:22,877
Jesus.
925
00:49:40,562 --> 00:49:41,771
Hey, guys,
are we having dinner?
926
00:49:47,736 --> 00:49:48,778
Let me get that.
927
00:49:52,073 --> 00:49:53,073
Holy shit!
928
00:49:53,200 --> 00:49:54,200
Stifler.
929
00:49:54,284 --> 00:49:57,077
I've got something really nice
cooking up for you inside.
930
00:49:57,162 --> 00:49:58,370
Well, we love surprises.
931
00:49:58,455 --> 00:50:00,331
Stifler, you said
you spoke to Jim.
932
00:50:00,415 --> 00:50:02,082
I did. I was secret
about it and everything.
933
00:50:02,167 --> 00:50:03,834
He said he'd be
the only one here tonight.
934
00:50:03,919 --> 00:50:05,669
What the fuck, Shitbreak?
935
00:50:05,754 --> 00:50:06,962
It's chocolate.
936
00:50:08,006 --> 00:50:10,758
I told everyone that you were
up north with my parents.
937
00:50:10,842 --> 00:50:14,220
So we won't be bothered.
We can just totally relax. No worries.
938
00:50:16,056 --> 00:50:18,182
Please come on in.
Make yourselves at home. Right this way.
939
00:50:18,266 --> 00:50:19,433
Thank you.
940
00:50:23,772 --> 00:50:24,772
What?
941
00:50:25,524 --> 00:50:26,857
Pink roses.
942
00:50:27,400 --> 00:50:29,026
Pink roses.
943
00:50:30,362 --> 00:50:31,904
They're nice, aren't they?
944
00:50:32,072 --> 00:50:33,614
Yes, artificial. Nice try.
945
00:50:35,367 --> 00:50:37,034
I almost got you.
946
00:50:39,371 --> 00:50:42,915
So, has Michelle ever told you the
story of how we fell in love?
947
00:50:43,250 --> 00:50:45,251
Why don't you retell us now?
948
00:50:45,377 --> 00:50:48,546
It's one of my favorite stories.
Where should I begin?
949
00:50:50,549 --> 00:50:52,466
Let's see...
950
00:50:52,759 --> 00:50:56,554
Well, I suppose it
all started at...
951
00:51:01,268 --> 00:51:02,685
Tall Oaks.
952
00:51:03,603 --> 00:51:06,105
That's right. At Tall Oaks.
953
00:51:06,273 --> 00:51:09,149
That was the summer when...
954
00:51:09,276 --> 00:51:11,235
The summer that was so hot!
955
00:51:11,319 --> 00:51:12,486
So hot.
956
00:51:12,612 --> 00:51:14,071
All right, look what I got.
957
00:51:14,197 --> 00:51:15,656
Jesus!
958
00:51:16,199 --> 00:51:17,199
Hey, there.
959
00:51:17,284 --> 00:51:18,284
Guy, there!
960
00:51:18,827 --> 00:51:21,620
Jim, I cannot believe you.
961
00:51:23,206 --> 00:51:24,290
You can't?
962
00:51:24,374 --> 00:51:28,168
You hired help on our account.
That is entirely unnecessary.
963
00:51:28,378 --> 00:51:30,754
But I will have
some of that wine, sir.
964
00:51:30,839 --> 00:51:32,131
Say please, Harold.
965
00:51:32,299 --> 00:51:33,632
Please. Of course.
966
00:51:34,718 --> 00:51:35,718
Absolutely.
967
00:51:35,844 --> 00:51:36,844
It's what he's here for.
968
00:51:36,970 --> 00:51:38,429
The wine. Obviously.
969
00:51:38,513 --> 00:51:39,805
Evidently.
970
00:51:39,931 --> 00:51:41,181
What else would
you be here for?
971
00:51:41,308 --> 00:51:45,477
And I certainly appreciate
your courtesy, sir.
972
00:51:48,523 --> 00:51:50,482
Yes, we have right here
973
00:51:50,567 --> 00:51:55,321
a 1999 Cabernet Say-vun-nun.
974
00:51:56,573 --> 00:51:59,950
Full-bodied, masculine wine.
975
00:52:00,035 --> 00:52:02,828
Just shouts sophistication.
976
00:52:04,831 --> 00:52:06,290
- James?
- Yes?
977
00:52:06,374 --> 00:52:09,710
I can see you're very
surprised to see me here.
978
00:52:09,794 --> 00:52:11,045
Little bit.
979
00:52:11,212 --> 00:52:12,463
I'm going to go
check on the dogs.
980
00:52:12,547 --> 00:52:16,091
Yes! In fact why don't you both
go check on the dogs and...
981
00:52:16,176 --> 00:52:19,553
No! Don't check on the dogs.
They're fine.
982
00:52:19,804 --> 00:52:21,013
How do you know?
983
00:52:21,097 --> 00:52:22,514
Because I just
checked on the dogs.
984
00:52:22,557 --> 00:52:24,308
Because he checked on the dogs.
I did.
985
00:52:24,392 --> 00:52:25,559
Good work, man.
986
00:52:25,685 --> 00:52:26,852
Jim, I'll help
you with the turkey.
987
00:52:26,937 --> 00:52:28,687
Okay.
988
00:52:28,813 --> 00:52:30,564
And I'll keep you company.
989
00:52:30,732 --> 00:52:32,066
Thank you.
990
00:52:33,193 --> 00:52:36,070
So, how long have you been
a sommelier, Mister...
991
00:52:36,154 --> 00:52:37,196
Belvedere, ma'am.
992
00:52:37,322 --> 00:52:38,364
Belvedere.
993
00:52:40,575 --> 00:52:41,617
It's chilly in here.
994
00:52:42,535 --> 00:52:44,411
So, how long do we
have to stay in here for?
995
00:52:45,163 --> 00:52:47,081
I don't know.
They said to hide.
996
00:52:47,248 --> 00:52:49,166
I guess we'll just
wait for them to call us.
997
00:52:49,459 --> 00:52:52,127
Who knows what kind of kinky
shit they're getting ready for.
998
00:52:52,212 --> 00:52:54,505
Do these go in your
ass tonight, or mine?
999
00:52:58,093 --> 00:53:00,427
You have a serving dish ready?
1000
00:53:01,179 --> 00:53:03,097
Jim, we need a serving dish.
1001
00:53:03,181 --> 00:53:04,932
Yeah, of course.
1002
00:53:07,018 --> 00:53:08,143
What?
1003
00:53:09,646 --> 00:53:10,646
Nothing.
1004
00:53:11,398 --> 00:53:12,648
Then why the excitement?
1005
00:53:12,732 --> 00:53:14,733
I thought the dish was broken.
1006
00:53:15,068 --> 00:53:16,860
- Well, is it?
- No.
1007
00:53:16,945 --> 00:53:18,696
Then are you going to get it?
Yes.
1008
00:53:30,250 --> 00:53:32,042
Here you go. One serving dish.
1009
00:53:32,168 --> 00:53:33,961
Excellent. Now what we need:
1010
00:53:34,045 --> 00:53:35,379
A cutting board.
1011
00:53:35,463 --> 00:53:36,463
No, stop!
1012
00:53:36,548 --> 00:53:37,548
What?
1013
00:53:37,632 --> 00:53:38,841
I will get it for you.
1014
00:53:38,925 --> 00:53:41,176
Nonsense,
I can get a cutting board.
1015
00:53:41,469 --> 00:53:45,806
Let's see, there you go.
This should do nicely.
1016
00:53:46,307 --> 00:53:48,892
I presume we're having white
wine with the turkey.
1017
00:53:49,644 --> 00:53:51,437
Let me go check.
1018
00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:57,693
What happened here?
1019
00:53:59,863 --> 00:54:03,574
That's mud. I meant to clean
that up this morning.
1020
00:54:03,742 --> 00:54:05,117
How embarrassing.
1021
00:54:05,201 --> 00:54:07,619
That's gonna stain.
We're gonna need a mop.
1022
00:54:07,704 --> 00:54:09,079
I'll get it.
It's in this closet.
1023
00:54:09,205 --> 00:54:10,581
No.
1024
00:54:11,458 --> 00:54:12,875
No, it's not.
1025
00:54:12,959 --> 00:54:14,126
It's in there.
1026
00:54:14,252 --> 00:54:15,419
It's not in this closet,
1027
00:54:15,503 --> 00:54:18,922
because I moved it.
1028
00:54:19,716 --> 00:54:21,300
Where? I'll go get it.
1029
00:54:21,468 --> 00:54:23,051
I don't remember.
1030
00:54:24,220 --> 00:54:25,512
You don't remember?
1031
00:54:25,638 --> 00:54:26,972
You know why I don't remember
1032
00:54:27,056 --> 00:54:28,891
is because I actually
did not move it.
1033
00:54:28,975 --> 00:54:30,851
The cleaning lady did.
1034
00:54:30,935 --> 00:54:33,228
Your mother said you don't
have a cleaning lady.
1035
00:54:33,313 --> 00:54:35,439
I don't know why
she would say such a...
1036
00:54:35,523 --> 00:54:36,648
You called, master?
1037
00:54:36,775 --> 00:54:37,858
Holy...
1038
00:54:38,693 --> 00:54:40,110
Well, there you are. Hello.
1039
00:54:40,236 --> 00:54:41,403
How do you do?
1040
00:54:42,822 --> 00:54:43,822
Uh...
1041
00:54:43,907 --> 00:54:48,535
So, cleaning lady, we were
wondering where the mop was.
1042
00:54:49,454 --> 00:54:51,872
Master put the mop in my fanny.
1043
00:54:52,499 --> 00:54:54,458
- You what?
- Who put what where?
1044
00:54:54,542 --> 00:54:56,835
I did no such thing anywhere.
1045
00:54:57,629 --> 00:54:59,171
Shall I clean?
1046
00:55:02,842 --> 00:55:03,842
Harold!
1047
00:55:07,013 --> 00:55:09,515
Very well.
It is so hot in here!
1048
00:55:12,185 --> 00:55:13,602
Holy Jesus!
1049
00:55:19,025 --> 00:55:20,734
Brandi, Brandi,
what are you doing?
1050
00:55:20,902 --> 00:55:22,653
You're not in
Eastern Europe anymore.
1051
00:55:22,737 --> 00:55:26,532
You can't do that.
I am so sorry about my cousin.
1052
00:55:26,616 --> 00:55:28,367
She's not used to our customs.
1053
00:55:28,701 --> 00:55:31,453
Jim, I apologize
for recommending her to you.
1054
00:55:31,579 --> 00:55:34,456
Here's this, by the way.
1055
00:55:36,084 --> 00:55:37,459
Got the mop.
1056
00:55:37,544 --> 00:55:40,671
Brandi, you left the
mop in the car.
1057
00:55:40,755 --> 00:55:42,673
Now remember,
it's called a car,
1058
00:55:42,757 --> 00:55:44,091
not a fanny.
1059
00:55:44,175 --> 00:55:46,343
Remember last time
when you wanted me
1060
00:55:46,427 --> 00:55:48,679
to take a ride in your fanny.
1061
00:55:49,973 --> 00:55:51,765
Dear, I'm so sorry.
1062
00:55:52,100 --> 00:55:54,309
You know what?
We should probably just go.
1063
00:55:54,394 --> 00:55:56,186
I'm so sorry about this.
1064
00:55:56,271 --> 00:55:58,188
I came by to make sure
everything was in order.
1065
00:55:58,314 --> 00:56:00,274
The food smells great.
1066
00:56:00,608 --> 00:56:02,276
Au revoir.
1067
00:56:03,236 --> 00:56:05,571
Jim, you have unique friends.
1068
00:56:06,573 --> 00:56:07,573
Harold!
1069
00:56:07,907 --> 00:56:10,284
Let's get that cleaned up.
1070
00:56:10,368 --> 00:56:12,870
I think I saw some
Pine-Sol in here, too.
1071
00:56:14,956 --> 00:56:16,164
My gosh! Baby, Mary and Joseph.
1072
00:56:16,249 --> 00:56:17,416
My Lord!
1073
00:56:18,001 --> 00:56:19,042
He's okay.
1074
00:56:19,127 --> 00:56:20,544
Are you all right?
1075
00:56:20,628 --> 00:56:21,795
Who did this to you?
1076
00:56:21,921 --> 00:56:23,088
I'm sure he's okay. You okay?
1077
00:56:23,172 --> 00:56:26,466
Get some help!
Harold, call the police!
1078
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:28,844
All right!
1079
00:56:28,928 --> 00:56:30,053
Jesus.
1080
00:56:30,138 --> 00:56:31,305
I'll take charge from here!
1081
00:56:31,389 --> 00:56:33,974
My God, they are fast here.
And nicely attired.
1082
00:56:34,058 --> 00:56:35,434
What's going on here?
1083
00:56:35,518 --> 00:56:37,060
She's here to
protect and serve.
1084
00:56:37,145 --> 00:56:38,312
- Quiet!
- Okay.
1085
00:56:38,396 --> 00:56:39,730
Who let this boy
out of the closet?
1086
00:56:40,982 --> 00:56:42,316
You are all in for
a hard punishment now.
1087
00:56:42,400 --> 00:56:44,276
Don't you touch him!
He's been hurt.
1088
00:56:44,485 --> 00:56:46,111
No. This is hurt!
1089
00:56:46,487 --> 00:56:47,654
You can't do that.
1090
00:56:47,739 --> 00:56:49,489
Silence, fucker!
1091
00:56:49,741 --> 00:56:50,741
You like it.
1092
00:56:51,910 --> 00:56:53,994
Harold, what's gotten into you?
1093
00:56:54,078 --> 00:56:55,203
I meant...
1094
00:56:55,288 --> 00:56:57,831
Dirty whore.
Shut your hole. Obey!
1095
00:56:59,375 --> 00:57:00,876
You can't do that.
1096
00:57:00,960 --> 00:57:02,169
You're a disgrace
to the police force.
1097
00:57:02,295 --> 00:57:03,921
I'll be giving you an enema!
1098
00:57:04,005 --> 00:57:05,756
Hey, somebody untie me!
1099
00:57:05,840 --> 00:57:06,882
- Wait, not the face.
- Back off!
1100
00:57:06,966 --> 00:57:09,217
All right, forget it.
We give up.
1101
00:57:09,302 --> 00:57:10,761
Steven!
1102
00:57:10,845 --> 00:57:12,179
It's okay, Mary.
1103
00:57:12,305 --> 00:57:13,680
What's going on?
1104
00:57:14,390 --> 00:57:16,433
Listen,
this isn't working, guys.
1105
00:57:16,517 --> 00:57:19,269
Krystal, you can drop the act.
This isn't a real cop.
1106
00:57:20,021 --> 00:57:22,022
Kevin wasn't assaulted.
1107
00:57:22,106 --> 00:57:24,608
I just wanted to make Jim
look good for you guys.
1108
00:57:24,692 --> 00:57:26,151
Like a real hero.
1109
00:57:26,235 --> 00:57:27,402
Kind of like me.
1110
00:57:27,487 --> 00:57:30,781
We hired a fake cop, tied up Kevin,
and put him in the closet.
1111
00:57:30,865 --> 00:57:33,533
Jim was supposed to rescue him,
untie him, give him mouth-to-mouth.
1112
00:57:33,618 --> 00:57:35,577
I don't know
what he likes to do.
1113
00:57:35,662 --> 00:57:38,872
Then Paul Finch hired an exotic
dancer instead of a real actor.
1114
00:57:39,958 --> 00:57:41,124
Jim, is this true?
1115
00:57:43,378 --> 00:57:44,836
Every word of it.
1116
00:57:44,921 --> 00:57:47,089
That is the stupidest idea
I have ever heard.
1117
00:57:47,173 --> 00:57:50,801
You've embarrassed me, Harold,
and Mr. Belvedere.
1118
00:57:51,386 --> 00:57:52,719
What?
1119
00:57:52,845 --> 00:57:54,179
It's all my fault.
I'm a bad person.
1120
00:57:54,389 --> 00:57:56,723
You're not a bad person.
1121
00:57:56,808 --> 00:57:59,810
You were just trying to
help out your best friend.
1122
00:57:59,894 --> 00:58:03,814
It was an awful idea, but I suppose
it's the thought that counts.
1123
00:58:04,774 --> 00:58:06,692
You know, actually,
1124
00:58:10,029 --> 00:58:12,072
I never should have allowed
1125
00:58:12,156 --> 00:58:15,701
such a crazy plan to
happen in the first place.
1126
00:58:15,785 --> 00:58:19,246
If you're gonna
blame anybody here,
1127
00:58:19,580 --> 00:58:20,747
blame me.
1128
00:58:20,832 --> 00:58:22,165
I'm sorry, Jim.
I didn't realize
1129
00:58:22,250 --> 00:58:23,709
how much pressure
we put on you.
1130
00:58:23,960 --> 00:58:27,838
I'm sure you both learned your
lesson, and I suppose I understand.
1131
00:58:27,922 --> 00:58:30,841
Jim, if you put half as much
energy into your marriage
1132
00:58:30,925 --> 00:58:33,760
as you put into tonight, I'm confident
that I can give you my blessing.
1133
00:58:36,639 --> 00:58:40,183
And, Steven,
we still adore you, honey.
1134
00:58:40,268 --> 00:58:43,729
In fact, I think I know
who should hold onto this.
1135
00:58:43,813 --> 00:58:46,565
We adore you.
You'll take good care of it.
1136
00:58:46,649 --> 00:58:47,858
You've got to be kidding me.
1137
00:58:47,984 --> 00:58:49,192
No.
1138
00:58:49,652 --> 00:58:53,113
Lookit, Jim, Kevin. Boy, this really
makes me important to the wedding.
1139
00:58:53,489 --> 00:58:54,614
Yes.
1140
00:58:56,534 --> 00:59:00,037
Well, Mr. Belvedere, it's gonna
be one fucked-up wedding.
1141
00:59:00,663 --> 00:59:02,080
Absolutely.
1142
00:59:03,750 --> 00:59:05,709
Drive carefully.
More bags in the study.
1143
00:59:05,793 --> 00:59:06,877
Thank you.
1144
00:59:07,003 --> 00:59:08,128
You're welcome.
1145
00:59:13,926 --> 00:59:15,302
Is there any room for me?
1146
00:59:15,386 --> 00:59:16,803
Nope.
1147
00:59:17,513 --> 00:59:19,806
I'll just drive up
north all by myself.
1148
00:59:20,183 --> 00:59:22,100
That sounds good.
We'll see you later.
1149
00:59:22,226 --> 00:59:24,144
No, I'll drive with you.
1150
00:59:24,479 --> 00:59:27,606
Thanks, Cadence.
Beautiful lady.
1151
00:59:32,028 --> 00:59:34,780
- Hey... I know. Shut up.
- Kevin!
1152
00:59:45,124 --> 00:59:47,084
So, my mom found
the dogs playing
1153
00:59:47,168 --> 00:59:49,086
with something
unusual this morning.
1154
00:59:49,170 --> 00:59:50,754
What?
1155
00:59:50,838 --> 00:59:52,589
I told her it was
a neck massager.
1156
00:59:55,343 --> 00:59:56,927
These are great.
1157
01:00:21,160 --> 01:00:22,202
He's hilarious.
1158
01:00:22,370 --> 01:00:23,411
Yes.
1159
01:00:25,665 --> 01:00:27,666
That kind of thing
is so lethargic to me.
1160
01:00:29,627 --> 01:00:30,752
What do you mean?
1161
01:00:30,878 --> 01:00:32,045
I'm not sure.
1162
01:00:52,024 --> 01:00:55,152
Mr. Stifler, I already told
you you called two days ago
1163
01:00:55,236 --> 01:00:57,070
and canceled your reservation.
1164
01:00:57,155 --> 01:00:58,989
Since you now
wish to stay here,
1165
01:00:59,073 --> 01:01:01,700
I thought you could persuade
Mr. Finch to share his room.
1166
01:01:01,784 --> 01:01:04,452
Hey, Shithead, I didn't
cancel my reservation.
1167
01:01:04,704 --> 01:01:06,496
Mr. Fuckface Finch called here.
1168
01:01:06,581 --> 01:01:09,124
And Mr. Idiot Behind
the Desk canceled it.
1169
01:01:09,208 --> 01:01:13,044
Christof, please pardon
my friend's uncouth behavior.
1170
01:01:13,754 --> 01:01:15,505
I did no such thing.
1171
01:01:15,631 --> 01:01:17,382
Nor did I, sir.
1172
01:01:17,758 --> 01:01:21,428
And your rudeness and obscenities
won't change anything.
1173
01:01:21,762 --> 01:01:24,848
Well then, I guess it doesn't
matter if I call you a crotchface,
1174
01:01:24,932 --> 01:01:26,349
you ball-scratching fucker.
1175
01:01:26,434 --> 01:01:28,185
Or better yet,
go blow your dad.
1176
01:01:28,269 --> 01:01:30,020
- My dad?
- Hear, hear.
1177
01:01:30,104 --> 01:01:32,856
While you're there, stick a
finger up both their asses
1178
01:01:32,940 --> 01:01:34,941
while you're down there.
1179
01:01:36,736 --> 01:01:39,529
Finch, rudeness and obscenity
won't change anything.
1180
01:01:39,614 --> 01:01:43,116
Grow a sack,
fill it with some balls,
1181
01:01:43,201 --> 01:01:45,869
magically sprout a dick,
shove it up your ass,
1182
01:01:45,953 --> 01:01:48,788
and start fucking yourself
like, "Yeah, baby!"
1183
01:01:49,874 --> 01:01:52,626
You going with what I'm saying?
1184
01:01:53,628 --> 01:01:55,295
This is disgusting.
1185
01:01:55,421 --> 01:01:58,798
Why don't you go dust with
your perverse European cousin?
1186
01:01:59,217 --> 01:02:00,675
Is she here?
1187
01:02:00,801 --> 01:02:02,302
Unbelievable.
1188
01:02:02,637 --> 01:02:05,055
I'd like to book
a tee time for my husband
1189
01:02:05,139 --> 01:02:08,141
and a European pumpkin peel
facial for me, please.
1190
01:02:08,226 --> 01:02:09,643
Make that two.
1191
01:02:10,061 --> 01:02:11,770
You'll have a fun weekend, Ma.
1192
01:02:11,896 --> 01:02:13,563
I am missing my soap.
1193
01:02:13,648 --> 01:02:15,357
Don't you worry
about your soaps.
1194
01:02:15,441 --> 01:02:17,525
Will you push faster?
I'm tired.
1195
01:02:18,319 --> 01:02:19,819
And wait till
you meet Michelle.
1196
01:02:19,904 --> 01:02:21,905
You're gonna love her.
She's sweet as sugar.
1197
01:02:21,989 --> 01:02:23,448
I can't eat sugar.
1198
01:02:23,532 --> 01:02:25,242
I know,
because you're diabetic.
1199
01:02:25,952 --> 01:02:27,160
You know, Ma,
1200
01:02:27,245 --> 01:02:30,580
I know things haven't been going
well for you. I know that.
1201
01:02:30,665 --> 01:02:34,417
But wait till you see Jim standing
up there at the altar tomorrow.
1202
01:02:34,502 --> 01:02:38,421
If ever there was a time to be
happy and smile the biggest smile,
1203
01:02:38,506 --> 01:02:39,839
now is the time.
1204
01:02:39,924 --> 01:02:43,718
Okay, okay. I'm overjoyed.
1205
01:02:44,679 --> 01:02:46,680
That's a start.
1206
01:02:48,140 --> 01:02:50,642
Proud grandmother
coming through.
1207
01:02:51,519 --> 01:02:53,353
Grandson's getting
married tomorrow.
1208
01:02:53,437 --> 01:02:56,022
You think she's happy now,
wait till tomorrow.
1209
01:02:57,692 --> 01:02:59,442
"Congratulations."
1210
01:03:07,785 --> 01:03:09,077
"Grooming."
1211
01:03:43,112 --> 01:03:44,529
You got bigger.
1212
01:03:54,165 --> 01:03:56,916
The flowers stay refrigerated
until morning...
1213
01:03:57,501 --> 01:03:58,710
I'm sure they will.
1214
01:03:58,836 --> 01:04:00,128
They're so pretty...
1215
01:04:12,933 --> 01:04:14,601
Jimmy, no!
1216
01:04:15,811 --> 01:04:17,520
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
1217
01:04:26,113 --> 01:04:28,406
I hope you'll be more
careful with the next one.
1218
01:04:28,532 --> 01:04:30,992
My kitchen is
not a toilet, okay?
1219
01:04:38,667 --> 01:04:42,337
Boy, pubic hair was just not
an issue when I was dating.
1220
01:04:43,547 --> 01:04:46,591
The ladies never complained
1221
01:04:46,717 --> 01:04:49,302
when they were, you know,
down in that general area...
1222
01:04:49,387 --> 01:04:52,889
Okay, if you never mention that
ever again, that'd be great.
1223
01:04:53,015 --> 01:04:55,016
Shouldn't have brought it up.
1224
01:04:55,393 --> 01:04:57,394
So, can I see the ring?
1225
01:04:57,561 --> 01:04:59,604
Nope. I promised
to keep it safe.
1226
01:05:00,398 --> 01:05:01,898
It's not leaving my pocket.
1227
01:05:02,024 --> 01:05:03,525
Okay, Frodo.
1228
01:05:06,404 --> 01:05:09,572
You really care about
this wedding, don't you?
1229
01:05:10,908 --> 01:05:14,077
I'm gonna cry at the ceremony.
I know it.
1230
01:05:16,539 --> 01:05:18,748
Are you just saying
all of this?
1231
01:05:18,833 --> 01:05:22,710
I mean, do you act differently
around certain people?
1232
01:05:23,254 --> 01:05:24,587
Namely me?
1233
01:05:24,839 --> 01:05:28,425
Of course not. Why?
Do you act differently around me?
1234
01:05:28,843 --> 01:05:32,929
Generally, I'm just me. If people
don't like it, that's their problem.
1235
01:05:33,097 --> 01:05:34,556
Yeah. Fuck those fuckers.
1236
01:05:34,682 --> 01:05:36,141
What?
1237
01:05:37,393 --> 01:05:38,935
I didn't...
1238
01:05:39,103 --> 01:05:40,603
No, you're right. Fuck 'em.
1239
01:05:46,277 --> 01:05:47,944
Hey, Harold and Mary!
1240
01:05:48,112 --> 01:05:49,779
Hi, kids.
1241
01:05:50,614 --> 01:05:52,115
How's it going?
1242
01:05:53,325 --> 01:05:55,368
Come on. Thanks for
watching the dogs.
1243
01:05:55,453 --> 01:05:58,580
I love these guys.
Hey, guys, want more Snausages? Huh?
1244
01:05:59,290 --> 01:06:00,790
There you go.
1245
01:06:01,292 --> 01:06:02,500
- Eat 'em up.
- Give me some.
1246
01:06:02,626 --> 01:06:03,877
There you go.
1247
01:06:04,462 --> 01:06:07,130
I don't think I have any left.
1248
01:06:08,549 --> 01:06:09,632
What's wrong?
1249
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:10,925
Shit.
1250
01:06:11,469 --> 01:06:12,969
Are you okay?
1251
01:06:16,182 --> 01:06:17,307
Yeah.
1252
01:06:20,478 --> 01:06:21,978
You kissed Stifler?
1253
01:06:22,146 --> 01:06:23,646
Yeah. But then he freaked.
1254
01:06:23,814 --> 01:06:26,816
It's like he's been paying more
attention to the dogs than me.
1255
01:06:26,901 --> 01:06:28,526
Can I stop worrying then?
1256
01:06:28,652 --> 01:06:31,070
Michelle, he's been
nothing but nice to me.
1257
01:06:31,155 --> 01:06:33,990
I mean, do you think
he really likes you?
1258
01:06:34,658 --> 01:06:38,786
I don't know. I hope he likes me.
I mean, I think he likes me.
1259
01:06:41,165 --> 01:06:43,208
Yeah, I guess
I hope he likes me.
1260
01:06:46,670 --> 01:06:47,837
Do it.
1261
01:06:49,006 --> 01:06:52,842
Don't fuck around.
Just relax and let it go.
1262
01:06:54,345 --> 01:06:56,179
I'm sick of waiting.
1263
01:06:56,680 --> 01:06:58,348
Do it for Daddy.
1264
01:06:58,891 --> 01:07:01,392
Will you just
take a shit already?
1265
01:07:02,937 --> 01:07:03,937
Great.
1266
01:07:04,438 --> 01:07:07,315
You fed the ring to the dogs,
didn't you?
1267
01:07:12,112 --> 01:07:13,279
Of course not!
1268
01:07:13,405 --> 01:07:16,616
You have been staring at those
dogs like a hawk all day.
1269
01:07:16,742 --> 01:07:18,409
I'm a dog lover.
1270
01:07:19,495 --> 01:07:23,915
By the way, apparently you
missed when Cadence kissed me.
1271
01:07:25,626 --> 01:07:29,170
Slight tongue action, too.
It was something like this.
1272
01:07:30,839 --> 01:07:32,715
You're a terrible liar,
Stifler.
1273
01:07:32,967 --> 01:07:35,927
If I were lying, I'd think of
something better than a kiss.
1274
01:07:36,011 --> 01:07:38,471
Maybe a blow job
or some tittie grabbing.
1275
01:07:39,348 --> 01:07:41,432
No pussy for you, Finch.
1276
01:07:43,811 --> 01:07:47,146
Fucking right, doggy!
It's about goddamn time!
1277
01:07:47,773 --> 01:07:49,107
Jackpot!
1278
01:07:49,191 --> 01:07:52,860
Now if you'll excuse me,
I have some shit to attend to.
1279
01:08:13,465 --> 01:08:14,716
Thanks, assholes.
1280
01:08:15,551 --> 01:08:16,884
Yeah, maybe you can call him.
1281
01:08:16,969 --> 01:08:17,969
Okay.
1282
01:08:18,053 --> 01:08:20,221
Steve, come over here.
1283
01:08:23,142 --> 01:08:24,225
Uh...
1284
01:08:24,643 --> 01:08:25,935
I'm a little busy.
1285
01:08:26,020 --> 01:08:28,354
With what? Come on over.
We need you.
1286
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:30,023
Get over here,
you little rascal.
1287
01:08:30,149 --> 01:08:33,693
We were talking about Michelle's
wedding band. Could I see it?
1288
01:08:36,196 --> 01:08:38,072
- No.
- No?
1289
01:08:39,241 --> 01:08:40,908
- I don't have it.
- What?
1290
01:08:41,035 --> 01:08:42,285
You mean you lost it?
1291
01:08:42,411 --> 01:08:43,703
Of course not.
1292
01:08:43,829 --> 01:08:46,289
I'm keeping it safe in my
room, you silly Sally!
1293
01:08:46,373 --> 01:08:47,874
- Thank goodness.
- I apologize.
1294
01:08:48,000 --> 01:08:49,417
That's fine. I'll see it later.
1295
01:08:49,543 --> 01:08:51,002
Okay. All right, then.
1296
01:08:51,086 --> 01:08:52,795
What do you have in your hand?
1297
01:08:56,050 --> 01:08:57,133
This one?
1298
01:08:58,385 --> 01:09:00,136
No, the other one.
1299
01:09:02,056 --> 01:09:04,140
It's a chocolate truffle.
1300
01:09:04,224 --> 01:09:05,433
Ooo! Yummy.
1301
01:09:05,559 --> 01:09:06,851
Where did you get that?
1302
01:09:07,895 --> 01:09:11,731
The caterer said she was saving
the truffles for tomorrow.
1303
01:09:11,899 --> 01:09:13,649
You sneaky devil.
1304
01:09:15,736 --> 01:09:18,571
Well, hey, I managed to
sneak one right past her.
1305
01:09:18,906 --> 01:09:20,823
Come on, this woman
loves chocolate.
1306
01:09:20,908 --> 01:09:22,158
At least give
her a tiny nibble.
1307
01:09:22,284 --> 01:09:23,576
Give it to Momma.
1308
01:09:23,827 --> 01:09:26,996
Momma don't want this.
This is the only piece that I have.
1309
01:09:27,081 --> 01:09:28,081
Idiot.
1310
01:09:28,248 --> 01:09:29,499
Break it in half. Come on.
1311
01:09:29,625 --> 01:09:30,917
You know what?
1312
01:09:31,043 --> 01:09:33,169
Let's just leave
the surprises till tomorrow.
1313
01:09:33,253 --> 01:09:34,420
It's gonna be a great day.
1314
01:09:34,588 --> 01:09:35,755
I'd like my surprise right now.
1315
01:09:35,881 --> 01:09:37,548
- No, it's mine.
- Come on!
1316
01:09:38,342 --> 01:09:39,926
- Give it to me.
- No.
1317
01:09:40,052 --> 01:09:41,761
Give the darn truffle.
1318
01:09:44,098 --> 01:09:46,599
Steven, that is so selfish.
1319
01:09:47,351 --> 01:09:48,559
It's good.
1320
01:09:48,644 --> 01:09:49,977
Is it? Is it sweet?
1321
01:09:51,772 --> 01:09:53,272
It's so sweet.
1322
01:09:56,110 --> 01:09:58,945
Close your mouth
when you chew, Steven.
1323
01:09:59,029 --> 01:10:00,113
Don't do that.
1324
01:10:00,239 --> 01:10:04,117
At least you could describe to the
lovely woman how delicious it is.
1325
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:08,788
Well, tastes like twigs
and berries.
1326
01:10:08,956 --> 01:10:10,748
Is it Swiss or
French chocolate?
1327
01:10:11,125 --> 01:10:12,708
Maybe German.
1328
01:10:12,793 --> 01:10:15,378
Really? Is it creamy?
1329
01:10:16,588 --> 01:10:17,797
Yeah, it's creamy.
1330
01:10:17,923 --> 01:10:19,132
Easy to go down, right?
1331
01:10:19,216 --> 01:10:21,801
Well, I'm trying to
savor the flavor right now.
1332
01:10:22,136 --> 01:10:23,302
Is it fresh?
1333
01:10:23,470 --> 01:10:24,637
It's so fresh.
1334
01:10:24,763 --> 01:10:26,222
Nothing better than
when they're fresh.
1335
01:10:26,348 --> 01:10:27,807
Nothing better.
1336
01:10:27,933 --> 01:10:30,309
The problem is you can't
eat just one, can you?
1337
01:10:30,436 --> 01:10:31,811
No, you can't.
1338
01:10:31,895 --> 01:10:34,397
But you've got to know
when to stop, don't you?
1339
01:10:34,481 --> 01:10:36,816
You really do, but it's hard.
It's really hard.
1340
01:10:36,942 --> 01:10:38,985
Droppings from the gods.
1341
01:10:40,154 --> 01:10:41,821
Get me another one, darling.
Come on.
1342
01:10:41,905 --> 01:10:44,574
You selfish boy.
Next time, bring enough for everybody.
1343
01:10:44,658 --> 01:10:47,243
Let's keep this to ourselves?
Okay?
1344
01:10:47,327 --> 01:10:48,453
Okay.
1345
01:10:48,579 --> 01:10:49,745
I gotta go, okay.
1346
01:10:49,913 --> 01:10:52,832
Don't have any more, because
it's gonna spoil your appetite.
1347
01:10:52,958 --> 01:10:55,960
Okay.
Hey, look, man, I gotta go.
1348
01:11:02,509 --> 01:11:05,595
Grandma, I want you
to meet some people.
1349
01:11:08,015 --> 01:11:09,932
Grandma, this is Michelle.
1350
01:11:10,017 --> 01:11:12,602
I'm so proud to be
joining your family.
1351
01:11:13,020 --> 01:11:14,729
She's real pretty, huh?
1352
01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:19,442
Isn't it great?
We're getting married.
1353
01:11:19,818 --> 01:11:21,569
It's amazing, Gram.
1354
01:11:24,531 --> 01:11:27,992
Not Jewish! No wedding, Jimmy!
No wedding.
1355
01:11:28,452 --> 01:11:30,161
- Forget it.
- Grandma.
1356
01:11:30,245 --> 01:11:31,329
A goyeh!
1357
01:11:31,413 --> 01:11:32,538
Shit.
1358
01:11:32,664 --> 01:11:33,789
Jim, she hates me.
1359
01:11:35,584 --> 01:11:37,084
My God!
1360
01:11:37,169 --> 01:11:39,504
Grandma, look,
we love each other.
1361
01:11:39,588 --> 01:11:41,672
Michelle and I
love each other very much.
1362
01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:43,883
That's all that matters.
Grandma? Grandma?
1363
01:11:45,928 --> 01:11:47,637
Michelle? Michelle?
1364
01:11:50,265 --> 01:11:52,600
- But Grandma's okay?
- She's okay.
1365
01:11:52,726 --> 01:11:55,937
Yeah, Dad. She's okay.
She's just a little tired.
1366
01:11:56,939 --> 01:11:59,815
My mother hasn't been well.
She's been feeling...
1367
01:11:59,900 --> 01:12:02,443
When your dad sees the look
on Grandma's face,
1368
01:12:02,528 --> 01:12:05,571
it's gonna break his heart.
Because of me.
1369
01:12:06,448 --> 01:12:09,825
It's not because of you.
Michelle, it's not because of you at all.
1370
01:12:10,077 --> 01:12:12,995
It's because
Grandma thinks it's 1801.
1371
01:12:13,080 --> 01:12:16,791
Look, don't worry.
I'll come up with something.
1372
01:12:17,709 --> 01:12:19,877
I promised you
the wedding of your dreams
1373
01:12:20,003 --> 01:12:22,255
and I'm not gonna
let anything ruin it.
1374
01:12:25,384 --> 01:12:27,760
I would like to
propose a toast.
1375
01:12:27,844 --> 01:12:30,096
These last few weeks
have really been something
1376
01:12:30,180 --> 01:12:31,764
for my lovely wife and me.
1377
01:12:31,848 --> 01:12:35,101
We have met some people
we didn't know existed.
1378
01:12:35,185 --> 01:12:38,604
We've experienced some things
we didn't think were possible.
1379
01:12:38,689 --> 01:12:41,816
We've always tried to make
the best of every situation.
1380
01:12:41,900 --> 01:12:43,693
This is a good situation.
1381
01:12:43,819 --> 01:12:46,821
That's what I'm saying.
This is a wonderful situation.
1382
01:12:46,905 --> 01:12:50,992
The coming together of two families
from different backgrounds.
1383
01:12:51,076 --> 01:12:54,745
So to our new son-in-law,
may we say Éireann go Bráugh.
1384
01:12:54,955 --> 01:12:58,124
And to our lovely daughter
Michelle, L'Chaim.
1385
01:12:58,208 --> 01:13:00,042
Did I get that right?
Very good.
1386
01:13:00,127 --> 01:13:03,629
And let's hope we can sit
many happy shivas together.
1387
01:13:05,465 --> 01:13:07,341
Here's to a wonderful wedding.
1388
01:13:07,426 --> 01:13:09,010
Cheers.
1389
01:13:14,725 --> 01:13:17,393
See that, Shitbreak?
I told you I won.
1390
01:13:20,188 --> 01:13:21,188
- Hey.
- Hey.
1391
01:13:22,649 --> 01:13:27,320
I just wanted to say I'm sorry if I freaked
you out with the whole kiss thing.
1392
01:13:27,821 --> 01:13:29,530
You didn't freak me out.
1393
01:13:29,615 --> 01:13:32,283
I just wanted to
let you know that
1394
01:13:33,118 --> 01:13:35,161
you make me feel special.
1395
01:13:36,079 --> 01:13:39,582
I think you're the most
special girl I've ever known.
1396
01:13:40,709 --> 01:13:44,211
Maybe you'd want to make
things extra special tonight.
1397
01:13:45,213 --> 01:13:47,089
Which room is yours?
1398
01:13:47,382 --> 01:13:49,383
I'm crashing at Kevin's.
1399
01:13:49,593 --> 01:13:50,718
Damn.
1400
01:13:50,886 --> 01:13:51,969
But I saw
1401
01:13:52,054 --> 01:13:55,765
a big, fluffy linen closet at
the end of the main hallway.
1402
01:13:56,475 --> 01:13:57,475
Yes. Big,
fluffy linen closet is good.
1403
01:13:57,601 --> 01:13:58,643
Okay.
1404
01:13:58,727 --> 01:13:59,935
- Midnight?
- Yeah.
1405
01:14:00,020 --> 01:14:01,395
- All right.
- Okay.
1406
01:14:04,691 --> 01:14:07,234
I'm going to
have-a sex-a with-a Cadence
1407
01:14:07,361 --> 01:14:09,904
I'm going to have-a
sex-a with-a Cadence.
1408
01:14:10,113 --> 01:14:11,322
Whoo!
1409
01:14:15,744 --> 01:14:18,454
Jesus! You fucking stalker!
1410
01:14:19,289 --> 01:14:21,290
You're not
a very stealthy thief.
1411
01:14:21,416 --> 01:14:23,417
- Really?
- Guess what, Shitbreak?
1412
01:14:23,502 --> 01:14:25,419
It's a wedding.
Everything's free.
1413
01:14:25,587 --> 01:14:27,254
What do you want?
1414
01:14:28,590 --> 01:14:31,759
Stifler, Jim's grandma doesn't
approve of the wedding.
1415
01:14:32,260 --> 01:14:34,637
We're trying to
run interference,
1416
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:38,599
and, reluctantly,
I am asking for your help.
1417
01:14:38,934 --> 01:14:41,769
Sorry, Finchmeister,
I got plans with Cadence.
1418
01:14:42,979 --> 01:14:46,065
Stifler, maybe you could forget
about your dick for one second
1419
01:14:46,149 --> 01:14:47,942
and actually be useful.
1420
01:14:48,735 --> 01:14:52,655
Fuck you, Finch.
You didn't eat shit, okay?
1421
01:14:52,739 --> 01:14:55,658
You didn't prance around like a
ballerina for the whole week.
1422
01:14:55,742 --> 01:14:58,869
Wedding this, suck my ass that.
I'm special, you're special.
1423
01:14:58,954 --> 01:15:01,372
We're all just a bunch of
special fuckers, aren't we?
1424
01:15:01,456 --> 01:15:04,750
You know what?
I'm-a gonna get laid, Finchfucker.
1425
01:15:04,835 --> 01:15:06,711
And it's gonna be oh-so-good.
1426
01:15:06,795 --> 01:15:08,254
It's gonna be like,
"You like this shit, momma?"
1427
01:15:08,338 --> 01:15:11,173
She's gonna be like, "Fucking right, doggy.
Give it to me!
1428
01:15:11,258 --> 01:15:14,009
"Suck on my nipples
like you're milking a cow."
1429
01:15:14,136 --> 01:15:15,511
Like...
1430
01:15:26,398 --> 01:15:27,898
You been here long?
1431
01:15:29,776 --> 01:15:30,901
Shit.
1432
01:15:34,156 --> 01:15:35,156
Yeah...
1433
01:15:35,574 --> 01:15:39,243
Cadence, it is my distinct
pleasure to introduce you
1434
01:15:39,453 --> 01:15:42,538
to the real Steve Stifler.
1435
01:15:42,914 --> 01:15:45,332
Hi.
1436
01:15:47,836 --> 01:15:49,545
Pumpkin.
1437
01:15:54,092 --> 01:15:56,218
You are quite
the gentleman, Stifler.
1438
01:15:56,303 --> 01:15:58,012
You could've told
me she was behind me.
1439
01:15:58,430 --> 01:16:02,475
Between Grandma, Stifler, and Cadence...
The cake.
1440
01:16:02,851 --> 01:16:04,643
I mean, are you kidding me?
1441
01:16:04,728 --> 01:16:08,731
You know, I thought I had grown
out of this sort of behavior.
1442
01:16:08,815 --> 01:16:13,110
But I keep messing up.
These things keep happening to me.
1443
01:16:13,403 --> 01:16:15,529
If I can't bring it
together for one day,
1444
01:16:15,614 --> 01:16:18,699
how am I gonna hold it together
for the rest of our lives?
1445
01:16:18,784 --> 01:16:21,368
I'm really afraid this is
how it's always gonna be.
1446
01:16:21,453 --> 01:16:24,872
Yeah, but you always manage to
get yourself into serious shit,
1447
01:16:24,956 --> 01:16:28,042
and somehow you always come out
of it better than you went in.
1448
01:16:28,126 --> 01:16:29,502
I don't know how, but you do.
1449
01:16:29,586 --> 01:16:31,295
Everything is gonna be fine.
1450
01:16:31,379 --> 01:16:32,379
Yeah...
1451
01:16:33,757 --> 01:16:37,510
You need to come into the kitchen
right now. There's... Yeah.
1452
01:16:38,386 --> 01:16:39,386
Jesus, now what?
1453
01:16:45,435 --> 01:16:48,562
There is no way to remake
all these in time, is there?
1454
01:16:48,730 --> 01:16:50,815
Something must have
disrupted the power.
1455
01:16:50,899 --> 01:16:53,317
The compressors need time
to reset after a power loss
1456
01:16:53,401 --> 01:16:54,652
or they overheat.
1457
01:16:54,736 --> 01:16:57,738
Essentially, it turns the
refrigerator into an oven.
1458
01:16:57,823 --> 01:17:00,533
Stifler was in here
earlier flipping switches.
1459
01:17:02,160 --> 01:17:04,161
Michelle, I am so sorry.
1460
01:17:07,499 --> 01:17:08,499
Hey.
1461
01:17:12,838 --> 01:17:14,380
Those flowers look hideous.
1462
01:17:14,506 --> 01:17:16,006
That's 'cause you
killed them, Stifler.
1463
01:17:16,091 --> 01:17:18,175
You've ruined everything.
1464
01:17:20,387 --> 01:17:22,221
What are you talking about?
1465
01:17:22,597 --> 01:17:26,058
You obviously don't care about
this wedding, or anyone in it.
1466
01:17:28,436 --> 01:17:29,436
Cadence...
1467
01:17:33,358 --> 01:17:34,358
Jim?
1468
01:17:37,779 --> 01:17:39,572
Shitbreak, come on.
1469
01:17:46,037 --> 01:17:48,247
Maybe you should
just leave, Stifler.
1470
01:17:52,586 --> 01:17:54,587
Fine. Adiós.
1471
01:19:02,656 --> 01:19:04,490
- Fuckers!
- It's not my fault!
1472
01:19:05,909 --> 01:19:08,452
I'm not an electrical
Einstein. I'm not...
1473
01:19:10,747 --> 01:19:12,081
Damn it.
1474
01:19:16,711 --> 01:19:17,920
Fuck!
1475
01:19:28,264 --> 01:19:30,307
Hey, flower fuckers, you there?
1476
01:19:32,644 --> 01:19:33,727
"Zyskowski."
1477
01:19:45,448 --> 01:19:48,742
Hello? Are you awake?
1478
01:19:49,369 --> 01:19:52,413
Shit. Come on.
Come on. Anybody awake?
1479
01:19:55,667 --> 01:19:56,959
Are you Ms. Zyskowski?
1480
01:19:57,085 --> 01:19:58,377
Who are you?
1481
01:19:58,461 --> 01:20:00,587
I'm the guy who just
killed all the flowers
1482
01:20:00,672 --> 01:20:02,923
for the Levenstein-Band
Geek wedding.
1483
01:20:03,049 --> 01:20:04,174
What?
1484
01:20:04,300 --> 01:20:05,467
Yeah, I'm that guy.
1485
01:20:05,593 --> 01:20:07,177
Now, what I need you to do
1486
01:20:07,262 --> 01:20:09,722
is drag your ass down
to your little store,
1487
01:20:09,806 --> 01:20:11,557
gather up some flowers,
slice them,
1488
01:20:11,683 --> 01:20:13,434
dice them,
jam them all together,
1489
01:20:13,518 --> 01:20:15,602
and cart that crap
down to the wedding.
1490
01:20:15,687 --> 01:20:17,813
Are you completely insane?
1491
01:20:18,273 --> 01:20:19,857
You have no idea.
1492
01:20:19,941 --> 01:20:21,567
Even if I overlooked the fact
1493
01:20:21,651 --> 01:20:24,194
that this is the rudest thing
I have ever encountered,
1494
01:20:24,279 --> 01:20:26,780
there is no time to
redo all that work.
1495
01:20:26,865 --> 01:20:30,159
I had four assistants working
two full days on that wedding.
1496
01:20:30,285 --> 01:20:33,370
I'm sorry. It's impossible.
1497
01:20:40,170 --> 01:20:42,588
We don't quit
at halftime, ma'am!
1498
01:20:42,714 --> 01:20:45,132
You don't score
until you score!
1499
01:20:50,513 --> 01:20:52,139
That's the spirit, sweetheart.
1500
01:21:02,442 --> 01:21:04,485
Come on. Fuck the pain.
1501
01:21:05,320 --> 01:21:06,820
You guys keep
working this hard,
1502
01:21:06,988 --> 01:21:08,530
we'll be able to
beat the Wildcats.
1503
01:21:08,615 --> 01:21:09,990
You remember how tough
they were last year.
1504
01:21:11,117 --> 01:21:13,410
Come on. Let's see
some determination.
1505
01:21:14,329 --> 01:21:15,913
Determination!
1506
01:21:16,372 --> 01:21:19,249
Hold the vase. That's it!
1507
01:21:20,835 --> 01:21:23,087
Come on. Come on, keep working!
1508
01:21:27,383 --> 01:21:29,093
Good, Connor. Very good.
1509
01:21:29,177 --> 01:21:32,096
Good, DeBoer.
It really sucks. Go fix it.
1510
01:21:32,222 --> 01:21:36,225
Hey, party guy, having a good time?
Can I get you a gin and tonic?
1511
01:21:36,726 --> 01:21:40,437
Hold on a second.
Hello? Okay. It's for you.
1512
01:21:40,522 --> 01:21:42,272
It's get to work, fucker.
1513
01:21:42,982 --> 01:21:44,650
We are gathered here today
1514
01:21:44,734 --> 01:21:47,653
to join these two great
people in a blessed union
1515
01:21:47,737 --> 01:21:49,863
and blah-da-blah-da-blah
and crap.
1516
01:21:49,948 --> 01:21:52,157
Coach? This is kind of gay.
1517
01:21:54,285 --> 01:21:55,994
Yeah, it is.
1518
01:21:58,039 --> 01:21:59,289
Good work.
1519
01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:00,666
Hey, no problem.
1520
01:22:02,460 --> 01:22:04,169
So, you got
a date for this thing?
1521
01:22:04,254 --> 01:22:05,546
Don't push it. Sorry.
1522
01:22:11,010 --> 01:22:12,386
Holy shit.
1523
01:22:13,346 --> 01:22:14,805
How the hell did this happen?
1524
01:22:14,931 --> 01:22:16,390
It's a miracle.
1525
01:22:17,559 --> 01:22:18,767
Stifler.
1526
01:22:18,893 --> 01:22:20,102
Save it, dickhead. I'm working.
1527
01:22:31,030 --> 01:22:32,239
You're an asshole.
1528
01:22:32,407 --> 01:22:33,657
I know.
1529
01:22:34,576 --> 01:22:36,243
You really are an asshole.
1530
01:22:36,411 --> 01:22:38,120
Thanks.
1531
01:22:41,749 --> 01:22:43,709
I don't do apologies so good.
1532
01:22:45,295 --> 01:22:47,546
Well, you get an "A" for effort.
This is amazing.
1533
01:22:48,965 --> 01:22:52,050
Cool. I was always
kind of a "C" student.
1534
01:22:53,136 --> 01:22:55,721
So did you do all this
just to have sex with me
1535
01:22:55,805 --> 01:22:58,307
or because you really care
about the wedding?
1536
01:22:58,391 --> 01:22:59,558
Both.
1537
01:23:01,644 --> 01:23:02,769
And...
1538
01:23:05,064 --> 01:23:06,273
I really like you.
1539
01:23:06,441 --> 01:23:07,691
What?
1540
01:23:10,236 --> 01:23:11,737
I like you.
1541
01:23:11,863 --> 01:23:13,363
That's an honest answer.
1542
01:23:14,240 --> 01:23:15,699
I gotta go.
1543
01:23:22,123 --> 01:23:25,709
Steve Stifler just gave a
rose to a girl, and meant it.
1544
01:23:26,085 --> 01:23:27,502
This is huge.
1545
01:23:27,587 --> 01:23:31,256
It's like watching monkeys
use tools for the first time.
1546
01:23:31,966 --> 01:23:34,092
Are you still pissed
about me and Cadence?
1547
01:23:34,177 --> 01:23:35,719
No, let's see,
1548
01:23:35,803 --> 01:23:38,347
she wasn't into the heavy
intellectual stuff.
1549
01:23:38,431 --> 01:23:41,058
She actually liked me
being that imbecile.
1550
01:23:41,434 --> 01:23:44,603
No. Somehow, I think she's
probably better off with you.
1551
01:23:45,480 --> 01:23:47,231
Thanks, Shitbreak.
1552
01:23:51,486 --> 01:23:54,446
Dick. I fucking
hate not hating you.
1553
01:23:58,826 --> 01:24:00,661
I did fuck your mom.
1554
01:24:02,872 --> 01:24:03,956
Twice.
1555
01:24:05,833 --> 01:24:07,125
That's better, fucker!
1556
01:24:12,257 --> 01:24:13,465
Ready to go?
1557
01:24:14,717 --> 01:24:16,343
The wedding's not
for another hour.
1558
01:24:16,511 --> 01:24:18,095
No, I mean you and me.
1559
01:24:19,305 --> 01:24:20,639
Hold on.
1560
01:24:20,723 --> 01:24:22,849
Do I still got to do
this bullshit meeting?
1561
01:24:22,934 --> 01:24:25,102
Stifler, you are not
bailing on Jim.
1562
01:24:25,186 --> 01:24:28,146
Shit! Give me 10 minutes?
1563
01:24:31,484 --> 01:24:33,026
I'll meet you at the closet.
1564
01:24:33,152 --> 01:24:34,736
At the closet.
1565
01:24:42,245 --> 01:24:44,288
You wanted to see me, Michelle?
1566
01:24:44,414 --> 01:24:46,415
Okay. Sit.
1567
01:24:49,294 --> 01:24:52,963
So, Jim said that you've always
kind of been there for him
1568
01:24:53,047 --> 01:24:54,339
when he needed you.
1569
01:24:54,424 --> 01:24:56,675
So I thought maybe
you could help me.
1570
01:24:56,968 --> 01:24:58,510
Jim said that?
1571
01:25:02,390 --> 01:25:04,224
What's the problem?
1572
01:25:08,521 --> 01:25:10,605
I still can't
get my vows right.
1573
01:25:11,274 --> 01:25:14,234
I haven't been this confused
since I got my first period.
1574
01:25:14,319 --> 01:25:16,945
That's a very confusing time
for any young lady.
1575
01:25:17,030 --> 01:25:20,365
You know, your body is
going through changes.
1576
01:25:22,827 --> 01:25:25,329
Stuff coming out,
stuff going in.
1577
01:25:25,872 --> 01:25:28,999
No. I need help with
my vows, not my period.
1578
01:25:29,083 --> 01:25:31,251
Your vows. Your vows.
1579
01:25:31,669 --> 01:25:35,172
Yes, good. Go on.
1580
01:25:35,506 --> 01:25:38,258
Jim just wants a groomsmen
meeting before the wedding.
1581
01:25:38,343 --> 01:25:42,304
It shouldn't take long.
Just don't let her talk to anyone.
1582
01:25:42,388 --> 01:25:43,430
All right.
1583
01:25:43,598 --> 01:25:44,639
Be careful. She's feisty.
1584
01:25:49,187 --> 01:25:50,729
Okay, let's go.
1585
01:25:51,230 --> 01:25:54,483
Hey, guys. Thanks for coming
out here and meeting me.
1586
01:25:54,901 --> 01:25:57,194
I just have a couple
of things I want to say.
1587
01:25:57,278 --> 01:25:58,737
This sucks.
1588
01:26:03,034 --> 01:26:04,743
Did I say that out loud?
1589
01:26:07,455 --> 01:26:09,247
Keep going. It's good.
1590
01:26:10,458 --> 01:26:13,710
You know, I thought
about what you said, Kev,
1591
01:26:14,295 --> 01:26:17,422
about how my problems
always seem to work out.
1592
01:26:17,548 --> 01:26:21,593
And I realized that the
reason things always work out
1593
01:26:22,637 --> 01:26:26,431
is because you guys have always
been there to back me up.
1594
01:26:26,766 --> 01:26:28,517
Even you, Stifler.
1595
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:33,146
For the first time in my life,
1596
01:26:33,689 --> 01:26:38,151
I actually feel like
I can't mess anything up.
1597
01:26:40,780 --> 01:26:42,864
Which is pretty amazing.
1598
01:26:43,741 --> 01:26:49,454
So I guess I just
wanted to say thank you.
1599
01:26:51,958 --> 01:26:53,166
Thanks.
1600
01:26:54,502 --> 01:26:57,504
Thanks? This whole
thing was about thanks?
1601
01:26:58,840 --> 01:27:01,007
You're welcome, cock block.
1602
01:27:03,678 --> 01:27:05,679
That was good, Jim. Real nice.
1603
01:27:06,389 --> 01:27:08,265
Let's get you married.
1604
01:27:08,349 --> 01:27:09,558
Okay.
1605
01:27:10,643 --> 01:27:14,062
Love is very
difficult to describe.
1606
01:27:14,147 --> 01:27:17,232
And I understand the angst.
I mean, it's your wedding.
1607
01:27:17,316 --> 01:27:19,776
And it's natural.
It's perfectly natural.
1608
01:27:20,403 --> 01:27:23,196
But it's impossible
to describe a feeling.
1609
01:27:23,322 --> 01:27:26,366
Okay, first,
nothing is impossible.
1610
01:27:26,701 --> 01:27:28,535
So let's not focus on that.
1611
01:27:28,703 --> 01:27:31,037
Why do you think, Michelle,
1612
01:27:31,873 --> 01:27:34,541
they call it making love?
1613
01:27:36,377 --> 01:27:38,920
I don't know.
I just call it boning.
1614
01:27:41,215 --> 01:27:42,382
"Boning"?
1615
01:27:44,385 --> 01:27:46,428
When you're doing
other things with Jim,
1616
01:27:46,554 --> 01:27:48,680
when you're not boning,
1617
01:27:48,890 --> 01:27:51,057
how does he make you feel?
1618
01:27:52,602 --> 01:27:54,186
Horny, like I want to bone.
1619
01:27:54,270 --> 01:27:57,355
But we can't be boning
from sunrise to sunset, dear.
1620
01:27:57,565 --> 01:27:59,232
You've never tried it?
1621
01:27:59,442 --> 01:28:03,236
I certainly have.
I have. I've boned.
1622
01:28:03,905 --> 01:28:07,240
From sunrise, right through brunch,
on more than one occasion.
1623
01:28:07,366 --> 01:28:09,284
But boning aside,
1624
01:28:10,745 --> 01:28:13,288
I think they call it
making love because
1625
01:28:13,831 --> 01:28:15,957
you have to make love work.
1626
01:28:16,918 --> 01:28:20,003
You know, it's about
compromise and sacrifice
1627
01:28:20,087 --> 01:28:22,005
and I think Jim has
sacrificed for you.
1628
01:28:22,089 --> 01:28:24,716
My God, he shaved his
entire pubic region,
1629
01:28:24,800 --> 01:28:26,927
which would
baffle most cultures
1630
01:28:27,094 --> 01:28:29,221
around the world,
but he did it.
1631
01:28:29,305 --> 01:28:32,432
And he did it for you.
1632
01:28:34,018 --> 01:28:37,646
You're right.
Love isn't just a feeling.
1633
01:28:38,439 --> 01:28:40,440
It's shaving your balls.
1634
01:28:41,442 --> 01:28:42,943
Thanks, Dad.
1635
01:28:44,195 --> 01:28:47,739
I wouldn't get into too
much detail on that, dear.
1636
01:28:48,199 --> 01:28:50,075
Excuse me.
Pardon me. Excuse me.
1637
01:28:50,243 --> 01:28:52,118
Yeah. Excuse me.
Touch me. Fuck me.
1638
01:28:52,286 --> 01:28:54,204
I'm gonna have
sex with Cadence.
1639
01:29:03,798 --> 01:29:05,715
You know, Son,
I think this is probably
1640
01:29:05,841 --> 01:29:07,842
the right time to
tell you that...
1641
01:29:11,430 --> 01:29:12,889
I know, Dad.
1642
01:29:24,527 --> 01:29:26,361
I can't see anything here.
1643
01:29:30,575 --> 01:29:32,242
There you are.
1644
01:29:33,536 --> 01:29:36,997
Guys, what are you doing?
Where's Jim's grandma?
1645
01:29:37,290 --> 01:29:39,624
The old bitch sucked.
We had to ditch her.
1646
01:29:39,709 --> 01:29:40,917
You what?
1647
01:29:41,002 --> 01:29:43,878
Don't worry. We put her
someplace no one will find her.
1648
01:29:45,548 --> 01:29:47,090
Cadence, where are you going?
1649
01:29:47,216 --> 01:29:48,717
Mom.
1650
01:29:50,636 --> 01:29:53,513
Baby, I'm so ready for this.
1651
01:29:55,975 --> 01:29:59,436
Your body's not quite what I was expecting.
But that's okay.
1652
01:30:00,104 --> 01:30:02,689
The Stiffman digs
what's underneath.
1653
01:30:04,358 --> 01:30:07,319
You are so beautiful.
1654
01:30:09,030 --> 01:30:10,363
I just wanted...
1655
01:30:11,824 --> 01:30:12,866
Stifler!
1656
01:30:13,409 --> 01:30:14,534
Granny.
1657
01:30:14,702 --> 01:30:15,827
Granny what?
1658
01:30:15,911 --> 01:30:17,746
Focus! Focus! Focus!
1659
01:30:18,998 --> 01:30:21,499
It's not what it looks like!
1660
01:30:23,002 --> 01:30:24,210
Shut the fucking door!
1661
01:30:24,337 --> 01:30:25,545
You got it, champ.
1662
01:30:49,862 --> 01:30:51,154
You're a hero.
1663
01:30:52,114 --> 01:30:53,948
Hey, pussy's pussy.
1664
01:30:56,035 --> 01:30:58,745
Look at the smile
on my mother's face.
1665
01:30:59,413 --> 01:31:02,832
Do you know how long she's been
waiting for a day like this?
1666
01:31:03,125 --> 01:31:04,834
I can't imagine.
1667
01:31:10,925 --> 01:31:12,050
I couldn't be happier.
1668
01:31:12,176 --> 01:31:13,343
Thank you.
1669
01:31:15,846 --> 01:31:17,055
Don't.
1670
01:31:20,226 --> 01:31:22,143
- Good luck.
- Thank you, sir.
1671
01:31:27,608 --> 01:31:29,567
What made Grandma come around?
1672
01:31:29,652 --> 01:31:31,111
Finch said
Stifler talked to her.
1673
01:31:31,278 --> 01:31:32,779
Stifler?
1674
01:31:36,283 --> 01:31:38,118
Grandmotherfucker.
1675
01:31:38,953 --> 01:31:40,745
You're a motherfucker.
1676
01:31:40,871 --> 01:31:42,747
Yes, I am.
1677
01:31:43,290 --> 01:31:45,250
You son of a bitch.
1678
01:31:46,419 --> 01:31:50,004
And I promise to love you
for as long as I shall live.
1679
01:31:50,631 --> 01:31:54,300
Michelle, you are the one
woman I want to be with
1680
01:31:54,677 --> 01:31:57,137
and the woman
I can't be without.
1681
01:31:57,888 --> 01:32:00,306
I love you.
1682
01:32:16,949 --> 01:32:22,287
Jim, I had trouble finding the
words to tell you how I feel
1683
01:32:23,372 --> 01:32:25,081
and I realized something.
1684
01:32:25,458 --> 01:32:27,751
Love isn't just a feeling.
1685
01:32:28,961 --> 01:32:31,087
Love is something you do.
1686
01:32:31,505 --> 01:32:34,924
It's a dress,
a visit to band camp,
1687
01:32:35,342 --> 01:32:37,260
a special haircut.
1688
01:32:38,679 --> 01:32:41,723
Jim, you've given me
everything I've ever wanted,
1689
01:32:42,224 --> 01:32:46,686
and it is my solemn vow to
give everything I am to you.
1690
01:32:51,609 --> 01:32:52,859
Thanks.
1691
01:33:01,285 --> 01:33:05,413
James Emanuel Levenstein and
Michelle Annabeth Flaherty,
1692
01:33:05,498 --> 01:33:08,291
I hereby pronounce you
husband and wife.
1693
01:33:08,959 --> 01:33:11,002
You may kiss the bride.
1694
01:33:28,979 --> 01:33:32,982
Let's all welcome Mr. And Mrs.
Jim and Michelle Levenstein
1695
01:33:33,067 --> 01:33:34,526
onto the dance floor.
1696
01:33:34,610 --> 01:33:35,652
Just follow my lead.
1697
01:33:35,778 --> 01:33:36,820
I'll try.
1698
01:34:07,226 --> 01:34:08,726
I taught him that.
1699
01:34:09,770 --> 01:34:12,564
Jim, you learnt to dance.
1700
01:34:54,356 --> 01:34:56,649
Well, it seems like
everything worked out.
1701
01:34:56,734 --> 01:34:58,151
Magnificently.
1702
01:34:58,319 --> 01:34:59,777
I feel a bit sad
1703
01:34:59,862 --> 01:35:03,156
that tonight our little
Michelle is gonna be a woman.
1704
01:35:03,991 --> 01:35:07,076
Honey, you don't honestly believe
that Michelle is still a...
1705
01:35:07,161 --> 01:35:10,872
I tell you, Mary, I can't recall a
single moment with either one of them
1706
01:35:10,956 --> 01:35:12,790
that would make
me think otherwise.
1707
01:35:12,875 --> 01:35:14,709
Thank you. See?
1708
01:35:25,346 --> 01:35:26,846
Hey, tough guy.
1709
01:35:27,014 --> 01:35:28,514
Stifler's mom.
1710
01:35:30,684 --> 01:35:32,226
Well, we meet again.
1711
01:35:33,562 --> 01:35:36,105
I was curious.
Didn't see you here.
1712
01:35:36,607 --> 01:35:38,900
I try to keep a low profile.
1713
01:35:39,193 --> 01:35:41,819
I never really did
like these things, anyway.
1714
01:35:41,904 --> 01:35:45,239
You know, this has actually
made quite an impression on me.
1715
01:35:45,491 --> 01:35:48,159
I have something to
look for in a woman now.
1716
01:35:48,243 --> 01:35:51,663
Well, if this is your idea
of a proposal, Finchy,
1717
01:35:51,872 --> 01:35:53,748
you gotta know
that I'm over you now.
1718
01:35:53,832 --> 01:35:55,541
And I'm over you.
1719
01:35:56,669 --> 01:35:59,587
But as they say,
we will always have Paris.
1720
01:36:00,005 --> 01:36:01,047
And the pool table.
1721
01:36:01,131 --> 01:36:02,173
And the car.
1722
01:36:02,299 --> 01:36:04,217
And the two-room
suite I have upstairs.
1723
01:36:04,301 --> 01:36:05,718
Come here.
1724
01:36:11,684 --> 01:36:14,519
This turned out better
than I could ever imagine.
1725
01:36:15,062 --> 01:36:18,398
How did a little perv like you
turn into such a great guy?
1726
01:36:18,857 --> 01:36:22,235
How did a little nympho like you
turn into such a great girl?
1727
01:36:22,319 --> 01:36:23,569
I'm still a nympho.
1728
01:36:23,696 --> 01:36:24,946
I'm still a perv.
1729
01:36:25,239 --> 01:36:28,074
I know. What's wrong with us?
1730
01:36:35,791 --> 01:36:37,709
You did it.
1731
01:36:46,844 --> 01:36:51,472
You know, Michelle, to quote someone
I've learned quite a bit from,
1732
01:36:52,474 --> 01:36:54,892
I think you and I are
1733
01:36:54,977 --> 01:36:58,438
"a perfectly natural,
normal thing."
1734
01:37:00,065 --> 01:37:01,774
Perfectly natural.
1735
01:37:20,377 --> 01:37:21,377
That's her.
1736
01:37:21,462 --> 01:37:22,628
Holy shit, dude.
1737
01:37:23,380 --> 01:37:25,548
I told you this
wedding would be worth it.
1738
01:37:25,674 --> 01:37:27,842
My goddess. My queen.
1739
01:37:28,594 --> 01:37:30,553
My MILF. MILF.
1740
01:37:47,863 --> 01:37:50,031
No way, bro.
1741
01:37:50,491 --> 01:37:53,618
Hey, you're not finished
yet, are you, Finchy?
1742
01:37:54,661 --> 01:37:57,705
No, ma'am.
Just getting started.
1743
01:37:58,373 --> 01:38:00,750
This guy is the fucking master.
1744
01:38:02,961 --> 01:38:04,796
No!
1745
01:38:04,963 --> 01:38:06,798
Make it stop. Make it stop.
1746
01:38:07,424 --> 01:38:09,300
Stifler's mom.
124154
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