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1
00:00:03,430 --> 00:00:06,828
Vernon and I just want to
thank you all for coming.
2
00:00:06,828 --> 00:00:10,067
Ever since I was a small
girl, I've dreamt of this day.
3
00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:11,189
Me, too.
4
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:15,082
Sure, in my fantasy, it
took place at Fraggle Rock.
5
00:00:16,204 --> 00:00:17,840
I was marrying Johnny Depp.
6
00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:18,962
Me, too.
7
00:00:21,206 --> 00:00:28,432
But in all seriousness, it is so
amazing to be surrounded by so many
8
00:00:28,432 --> 00:00:29,864
people who care about us.
9
00:00:30,899 --> 00:00:33,369
We really feel...
10
00:00:33,369 --> 00:00:35,506
so much love from you guys.
11
00:00:37,513 --> 00:00:40,696
And as the Beatles said,
"All you need is love."
12
00:00:41,264 --> 00:00:42,546
And a Vera Wang dress.
13
00:00:44,791 --> 00:00:49,439
Vernon and I are looking
forward to seeing you at our 50th
14
00:00:49,439 --> 00:00:51,973
wedding anniversary.
15
00:00:53,255 --> 00:00:56,943
Promised myself I wasn't gonna do this.
16
00:01:02,842 --> 00:01:05,472
Uh, Jimmy, are you having a-a good time?
17
00:01:05,472 --> 00:01:06,594
Absolutely.
18
00:01:06,594 --> 00:01:08,390
Just so glad you invited me.
19
00:01:08,390 --> 00:01:10,218
Really?
20
00:01:10,218 --> 00:01:11,372
Of course.
21
00:01:11,372 --> 00:01:14,515
Sometimes, well, you just want
to witness the beginning of a
22
00:01:14,515 --> 00:01:19,292
disaster, so later, when the
house is engulfed in flames,
23
00:01:19,292 --> 00:01:24,935
you can say, "Yup, I was there when
they installed the faulty wiring."
24
00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:27,349
- Unbelievable.
- Just admit it.
25
00:01:27,731 --> 00:01:30,434
You only invited me here so you
could passive-aggressively rub
26
00:01:30,528 --> 00:01:31,650
my nose in your happiness.
27
00:01:31,650 --> 00:01:32,772
At least I would have had the
28
00:01:32,772 --> 00:01:35,176
decency to rub your nose in it directly.
29
00:01:35,176 --> 00:01:38,512
Oh, yes, your commitment
to honesty is so refreshing.
30
00:01:38,512 --> 00:01:40,916
It must be so hard being the
only one who sees people for
31
00:01:40,916 --> 00:01:42,039
what they actually are.
32
00:01:42,039 --> 00:01:43,161
It is.
33
00:01:43,161 --> 00:01:44,283
It's incredibly hard.
34
00:01:44,283 --> 00:01:44,995
Well, it's also gonna
be what keeps you alone,
35
00:01:44,995 --> 00:01:48,131
because you are ugly and
unpleasant and honestly, Jimmy,
36
00:01:48,131 --> 00:01:50,375
you're not the original you think you are.
37
00:01:50,375 --> 00:01:51,497
I'm not original?
38
00:01:51,497 --> 00:01:52,620
Wow!
39
00:01:52,620 --> 00:01:54,864
That is hilarious, coming from such a...
40
00:01:54,864 --> 00:01:56,083
No, you're right.
41
00:01:56,083 --> 00:01:58,263
This day isn't about me, is it?
42
00:01:58,263 --> 00:01:58,932
What were you gonna say?
43
00:01:59,090 --> 00:02:00,557
- Forget it.
- No, I'm serious.
44
00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:02,514
I really want to know what does
45
00:02:02,514 --> 00:02:05,787
the brilliant Jimmy
Shive-Overly think about me?
46
00:02:10,273 --> 00:02:13,511
You talk to her again, and me
and my boys will mess you up.
47
00:02:13,511 --> 00:02:14,794
Who talks like that?
48
00:02:14,794 --> 00:02:15,916
I'm serious, Jimmy.
49
00:02:15,916 --> 00:02:17,038
Fine, not a problem.
50
00:02:17,038 --> 00:02:19,026
Enjoy your sham of a marriage!
51
00:02:19,026 --> 00:02:22,521
I will!
52
00:02:29,375 --> 00:02:30,454
You got another one of those?
53
00:02:33,693 --> 00:02:34,719
Pretty expensive.
54
00:02:44,074 --> 00:02:45,755
Good job in there.
55
00:02:46,521 --> 00:02:50,658
Getting married doesn't remove you
from the burden of having to act like a
56
00:02:50,658 --> 00:02:51,779
human being.
57
00:02:51,779 --> 00:02:52,901
Totally.
58
00:02:52,901 --> 00:02:54,025
Those two are doomed.
59
00:02:54,025 --> 00:02:55,147
Right?
60
00:02:55,147 --> 00:02:58,545
Has any couple ever had a more
dishonest start to a marriage?
61
00:02:58,545 --> 00:03:00,790
I mean, the balls to have a
traditional Catholic ceremony.
62
00:03:00,790 --> 00:03:03,195
When she's already had two abortions.
63
00:03:03,195 --> 00:03:05,406
And can only orgasm through anal.
64
00:03:08,036 --> 00:03:09,864
Mr. and Mrs. Cottumaccio.
65
00:03:10,281 --> 00:03:10,666
Let's go inside.
66
00:03:10,666 --> 00:03:11,760
Old Cottumaccios.
67
00:03:16,566 --> 00:03:19,034
- You're pretty.
- Thanks?
68
00:03:21,498 --> 00:03:22,620
How do you know her?
69
00:03:22,620 --> 00:03:23,739
I'm friends with the sister.
70
00:03:23,739 --> 00:03:25,371
- Friends with Fat Lindsay?
- Yeah, me and
71
00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:26,375
Fat Lindsay are hella close.
72
00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:28,922
So, uh, what you heard about me?
73
00:03:30,036 --> 00:03:32,281
Nothing, just that you're the worst.
74
00:03:32,281 --> 00:03:35,920
Says the girl who just stole
a blender from a wedding.
75
00:03:37,161 --> 00:03:37,811
No.
76
00:03:38,481 --> 00:03:39,195
Really?
77
00:03:41,017 --> 00:03:42,082
Oh, man!
78
00:03:43,150 --> 00:03:44,684
I thought it was a food processor.
79
00:03:46,968 --> 00:03:48,090
Who's the worst now?
80
00:03:48,090 --> 00:03:51,425
Yeah, well...
81
00:03:59,182 --> 00:04:00,199
I don't know what I'm doing here.
82
00:04:00,199 --> 00:04:01,105
I'm not even attracted to you.
83
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,959
What does that have to do with anything?
84
00:04:06,629 --> 00:04:07,054
Yeah.
85
00:04:07,073 --> 00:04:09,040
* Don't look ahead
There's stormy weather... *
86
00:04:09,040 --> 00:04:10,724
What? It's L.A.
87
00:04:10,843 --> 00:04:11,754
Who doesn't drive?
88
00:04:11,781 --> 00:04:12,747
DUI.
89
00:04:13,036 --> 00:04:13,935
I occasionally see this movie director guy.
90
00:04:15,007 --> 00:04:15,337
Gross.
91
00:04:15,337 --> 00:04:17,567
One time, he booty-texted
me from some awards show.
92
00:04:17,739 --> 00:04:19,054
I was already at the bar, so I
93
00:04:19,054 --> 00:04:21,074
drove over to his house, and
then he texted me he was going
94
00:04:21,074 --> 00:04:23,159
to be late, so I idly drove
around his neighborhood...
95
00:04:23,159 --> 00:04:26,660
until I kind of
sideswiped an off-duty cop.
96
00:04:27,486 --> 00:04:28,768
Do you know, I'm glad
97
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:31,012
this is a one-night thing, so
we can reveal all this awful shit
98
00:04:31,012 --> 00:04:32,134
about ourselves.
99
00:04:32,134 --> 00:04:36,945
Totally. High five.
100
00:04:36,945 --> 00:04:39,318
I'll get that.
101
00:04:44,063 --> 00:04:46,467
Okay, I like that.
102
00:04:46,467 --> 00:04:47,590
All girls do.
103
00:04:47,590 --> 00:04:49,334
Don't call me "all girls."
104
00:04:51,726 --> 00:04:53,939
Damn it. That's good, too.
105
00:04:53,939 --> 00:04:56,183
* Don't look ahead
There's stormy weather... *
106
00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:58,588
You know, right before
Becca broke up with me, I
107
00:04:58,588 --> 00:04:59,678
started reading her e-mail.
108
00:04:59,678 --> 00:05:00,800
Oh, I've done that.
109
00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:03,494
So even though I had warning,
when she broke up with
110
00:05:03,494 --> 00:05:08,272
me, it kind of... just
kind of knocked me out.
111
00:05:08,272 --> 00:05:12,279
Even though she's clearly a
ridiculous human being, you know?
112
00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,434
Yeah.
113
00:05:13,434 --> 00:05:14,556
Break-ups hurt.
114
00:05:14,556 --> 00:05:15,839
I've heard.
115
00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:17,731
I don't really do relationships.
116
00:05:17,731 --> 00:05:19,398
Me, neither.
117
00:05:19,398 --> 00:05:20,648
Anymore.
118
00:05:20,648 --> 00:05:23,799
So, what, are you one of
those creepy foot guys?
119
00:05:24,752 --> 00:05:25,221
No.
120
00:05:25,540 --> 00:05:31,087
I have nervous hands, and
they have to stay busy.
121
00:05:33,204 --> 00:05:34,968
Yeah, that's good.
122
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:37,662
Oh, don't stop, you son of a bitch.
123
00:05:37,662 --> 00:05:38,783
Oh, yeah...
124
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:42,175
You just spit on it?
125
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:43,297
Yeah.
126
00:05:43,297 --> 00:05:45,542
You just spit on my vagina.
127
00:05:45,542 --> 00:05:46,664
So?
128
00:05:46,664 --> 00:05:47,104
Don't!
129
00:05:47,359 --> 00:05:47,726
Why?
130
00:05:47,726 --> 00:05:49,340
Why don't spit on my vagina?
131
00:05:49,742 --> 00:05:50,557
It's saliva.
132
00:05:50,918 --> 00:05:51,680
It's gonna get there anyway.
133
00:05:53,259 --> 00:05:54,517
Hmm.
134
00:05:56,899 --> 00:05:59,141
And that's how I got crabs
from my guidance counselor.
135
00:06:02,955 --> 00:06:03,641
Hey.
136
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,452
Hey.
137
00:06:12,085 --> 00:06:12,715
Right.
138
00:06:12,715 --> 00:06:14,759
Uh, I should get some sleep, so...
139
00:06:15,368 --> 00:06:18,703
Right. Good night.
140
00:06:18,703 --> 00:06:19,826
Wait. What?
141
00:06:19,826 --> 00:06:21,300
Oh, relax.
142
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:22,422
I'm just lazy.
143
00:06:22,422 --> 00:06:24,186
I'll sneak out in the morning.
144
00:06:24,186 --> 00:06:26,655
No, there are no sleepovers.
145
00:06:26,655 --> 00:06:27,936
Oh, too bad.
146
00:06:27,936 --> 00:06:30,246
I have sleep apnea.
147
00:06:30,246 --> 00:06:31,369
I have to wear a CPAP machine.
148
00:06:31,369 --> 00:06:32,683
Don't care.
149
00:06:32,683 --> 00:06:33,402
I'm a log.
150
00:06:43,008 --> 00:06:45,476
You look like Top Gun.
151
00:06:45,476 --> 00:06:46,598
Shut up.
152
00:06:46,598 --> 00:06:47,785
I'm so glad I'm not
153
00:06:47,785 --> 00:06:50,030
gonna remember any of this in the morning.
154
00:06:51,152 --> 00:06:52,274
"Never leave your wingman."
155
00:06:53,878 --> 00:06:56,153
So stupid.
156
00:07:06,344 --> 00:07:07,112
Good morning.
157
00:07:09,909 --> 00:07:12,699
So, I've been thinking about ghosts.
158
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,661
Oh, the things that
159
00:07:13,661 --> 00:07:15,584
don't exist because there is no soul?
160
00:07:15,584 --> 00:07:16,044
Mm...
161
00:07:16,044 --> 00:07:16,846
What a great use of your time.
162
00:07:16,846 --> 00:07:19,406
You know my great-grandfather
Baldemar on my father's side, right?
163
00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:21,386
What? No. How could I
164
00:07:21,386 --> 00:07:23,093
- possibly know your great...?
- Oh, he was this crazy
165
00:07:23,093 --> 00:07:24,421
adventurer guy who owned
a ranch in Zihuatanejo,
166
00:07:24,421 --> 00:07:25,622
and he sold arms and
was a What was his name?
167
00:07:25,622 --> 00:07:26,998
- Voldemort? Never mind.
- The coolest guy.
168
00:07:27,323 --> 00:07:30,303
Because I was thinking, he
sounds like he had it all worked
169
00:07:30,303 --> 00:07:32,292
out, and maybe if I could learn his
secrets, then I could fix my problems.
170
00:07:34,566 --> 00:07:37,576
How would meeting your dead relative
help you move out of my house?
171
00:07:37,576 --> 00:07:39,417
No, I'm talking about my real problems.
172
00:07:40,151 --> 00:07:43,230
Like, the nightmares and the crying,
and how I want to do heroin all the time.
173
00:07:45,187 --> 00:07:46,758
So, anyway, what do you think?
174
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:48,257
What do I think about what?
175
00:07:48,257 --> 00:07:51,221
If I should hold a seance to
contact great-grandfather Baldemar.
176
00:07:51,221 --> 00:07:52,459
No.
177
00:07:54,065 --> 00:07:55,323
I think I'm gonna do it.
178
00:07:55,323 --> 00:07:56,850
Thanks.
179
00:07:58,717 --> 00:08:01,123
Why did you let me sleep so late?
180
00:08:01,123 --> 00:08:02,179
I'm famished.
181
00:08:02,739 --> 00:08:04,049
Nice place.
182
00:08:06,338 --> 00:08:06,860
Hi.
183
00:08:07,608 --> 00:08:08,308
I'm Edgar.
184
00:08:08,547 --> 00:08:09,504
Mmm. Gretchen.
185
00:08:09,691 --> 00:08:10,962
This is dynamite.
186
00:08:10,962 --> 00:08:12,019
Oh, thanks.
187
00:08:12,197 --> 00:08:13,225
So, how do you guys know each other?
188
00:08:13,225 --> 00:08:14,398
Uh, we met in college.
189
00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:15,313
No, we didn't.
190
00:08:15,313 --> 00:08:17,952
Well, he was in college, and
I sold weed to college kids.
191
00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:21,388
Then he started giving me books to read,
'cause he saw untapped potential in me.
192
00:08:21,887 --> 00:08:25,636
I gave you books that I stole from Borders
because I didn't have money for weed.
193
00:08:25,636 --> 00:08:26,382
Semantics.
194
00:08:26,382 --> 00:08:27,690
Have you read his book yet?
195
00:08:27,690 --> 00:08:28,241
No.
196
00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:30,727
Sales were flatter than expected, plus
he blew all his money on this house.
197
00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:33,250
That's why he has to do more
magazine work, but you should read it.
198
00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:34,008
It's real good.
199
00:08:34,355 --> 00:08:35,558
Okay.
200
00:08:37,569 --> 00:08:39,471
At least buy your own copy.
201
00:08:39,471 --> 00:08:40,593
Right.
202
00:08:41,544 --> 00:08:44,687
So, which one of you is
giving me a ride to work?
203
00:08:44,687 --> 00:08:49,002
I can't drive because I have PTSD and mild
to medium battlefield-induced psychosis.
204
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:50,172
Bummer.
205
00:08:50,172 --> 00:08:50,820
Jimmy, you're up.
206
00:08:52,172 --> 00:08:53,290
My car's at the reception.
207
00:08:53,868 --> 00:08:54,957
We took a cab.
208
00:08:54,957 --> 00:08:55,814
We did?
209
00:08:57,903 --> 00:08:58,607
Damn.
210
00:09:10,441 --> 00:09:11,467
I can't believe it.
211
00:09:11,467 --> 00:09:12,429
Drive faster.
212
00:09:12,429 --> 00:09:13,391
I'm late.
213
00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:15,315
You slept with Jimmy.
214
00:09:15,315 --> 00:09:16,277
Apparently.
215
00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:18,201
Who used to date my sister.
216
00:09:18,201 --> 00:09:18,673
Yeah, I know.
217
00:09:18,673 --> 00:09:20,040
And on the night of her wedding?
218
00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,237
Why are you crawling up
my ass about this, Lindsay?
219
00:09:22,237 --> 00:09:23,361
You know what a jerk he is.
220
00:09:23,361 --> 00:09:25,755
I told you all the time
how he swallowed her up.
221
00:09:26,198 --> 00:09:27,697
She disappeared her life into
222
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:28,659
his and was never the Same.
223
00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:29,685
Oh, that's 'cause
224
00:09:29,685 --> 00:09:31,609
Becca doesn't have a
personality to begin with.
225
00:09:31,609 --> 00:09:32,571
Well, that's true.
226
00:09:32,571 --> 00:09:34,975
Ugh! Oh, Jimmy's the worst.
227
00:09:34,975 --> 00:09:37,188
Did he say anything about me?
228
00:09:37,188 --> 00:09:38,310
Nope.
229
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,783
You're not gonna see him again, are you?
230
00:09:40,938 --> 00:09:41,763
No way.
231
00:09:42,858 --> 00:09:43,941
We did have fun, though.
232
00:09:44,878 --> 00:09:48,125
Oh, God, I hope he doesn't think
it was, like, an actual thing.
233
00:09:48,125 --> 00:09:49,247
No kidding.
234
00:09:49,247 --> 00:09:50,370
Um, get...
235
00:09:50,370 --> 00:09:52,550
Can you be careful where you're
putting your makeup, and can you
236
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:54,955
take your feet off the dashboard?
237
00:09:54,955 --> 00:09:57,263
This is a lease.
238
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:58,353
Okay.
239
00:09:59,668 --> 00:10:00,288
Stop the car.
240
00:10:00,783 --> 00:10:01,040
What?
241
00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,035
Stop the car!
242
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:05,760
I'd rather walk than drive in
this sterile, suburban, piece
243
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,973
of shit car with my best friend
being shitty and judgmental to
244
00:10:07,973 --> 00:10:10,378
me 'cause I had sex
with a guy at a wedding.
245
00:10:10,378 --> 00:10:13,859
How many guys did you blow
at our five-year reunion?
246
00:10:15,284 --> 00:10:16,406
Four.
247
00:10:16,406 --> 00:10:17,529
Four?
248
00:10:17,529 --> 00:10:18,618
You told me three.
249
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:21,055
I might have left out Tor Borgfeldt.
250
00:10:21,055 --> 00:10:21,443
Ew!
251
00:10:21,443 --> 00:10:24,046
I'm seriously nauseated right now.
252
00:10:24,222 --> 00:10:25,537
Oh, God.
253
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:26,659
We used to have so much fun.
254
00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:28,391
Yeah, we did.
255
00:10:28,391 --> 00:10:29,513
Why'd you have to get married?
256
00:10:29,513 --> 00:10:30,634
I know.
257
00:10:30,634 --> 00:10:33,200
I'm sorry.
258
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:34,611
Do you like my new haircut?
259
00:10:34,611 --> 00:10:37,015
No, you look like Ellen Barkin.
260
00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:39,622
If you get your real estate
license, I will stab you in the tits.
261
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:54,385
Brilliant.
262
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,732
Absolutely brilliant.
263
00:10:58,037 --> 00:10:58,239
Hi.
264
00:11:04,066 --> 00:11:04,463
What?
265
00:11:05,205 --> 00:11:07,568
I just moved in... over there.
266
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:08,994
Of course you did.
267
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,263
Why do you say that?
268
00:11:10,263 --> 00:11:11,053
Because the death of
269
00:11:11,053 --> 00:11:12,699
any interesting neighborhood is
270
00:11:12,699 --> 00:11:14,848
the influx of white procreators.
271
00:11:14,848 --> 00:11:16,194
Oh, that's cool.
272
00:11:16,194 --> 00:11:18,118
My nutritionist is gay, too.
273
00:11:18,118 --> 00:11:20,010
I'm not gay.
274
00:11:20,010 --> 00:11:20,972
I'm English.
275
00:11:21,934 --> 00:11:22,896
What's that?
276
00:11:22,896 --> 00:11:29,618
A royalty check for my book for... $17.43.
277
00:11:30,014 --> 00:11:31,329
Do you know, if there was any
278
00:11:31,329 --> 00:11:35,241
doubt that the book industry
was dead, it is here in my hand.
279
00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:36,973
R.I.P., literature.
280
00:11:36,973 --> 00:11:39,124
2000 BC to this moment.
281
00:11:39,455 --> 00:11:40,178
You want to hang out sometime?
282
00:11:42,077 --> 00:11:43,584
What?
283
00:11:43,584 --> 00:11:45,292
What are you even talking about?
284
00:11:45,292 --> 00:11:46,607
I'm an adult.
285
00:11:46,607 --> 00:11:48,435
Do you know what that means?
286
00:11:48,435 --> 00:11:52,259
It means that I am beset upon at
all times by a tsunami of complex
287
00:11:52,259 --> 00:11:55,393
thoughts and struggles,
unceasingly aware of my own
288
00:11:55,393 --> 00:11:58,279
mortality and able to
contemplate the futility of
289
00:11:58,279 --> 00:12:02,543
everything and yet still rage
against the dying of the light.
290
00:12:02,543 --> 00:12:07,834
So do you see how monumentally
stupid you, a child, asking me
291
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:11,584
"do I want to hang out sometime" is?
292
00:12:11,584 --> 00:12:13,508
My dad designs video games.
293
00:12:13,508 --> 00:12:16,042
We get all the new ones early.
294
00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:18,415
Come over around 8:00.
295
00:12:25,917 --> 00:12:27,136
What the crap?!
296
00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:28,797
You know I get nervous at these shits.
297
00:12:28,797 --> 00:12:31,392
You are paying a guy to take your
photograph, and you trash his studio?
298
00:12:31,392 --> 00:12:32,739
You weren't here!
299
00:12:32,739 --> 00:12:34,503
Unprofessional as shit!
300
00:12:34,503 --> 00:12:35,978
A publicist who can't show up at
301
00:12:35,978 --> 00:12:36,940
publicity events?
302
00:12:36,940 --> 00:12:38,927
Don't even know what I'm
paying you for, Gretchen!
303
00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:39,889
The label pays me.
304
00:12:39,889 --> 00:12:40,851
You know it all gets
305
00:12:40,851 --> 00:12:42,198
charged against my end, bitch!
306
00:12:42,198 --> 00:12:43,801
Label is villains.
307
00:12:43,801 --> 00:12:45,051
From now on, I'm just gonna drop
308
00:12:45,051 --> 00:12:48,546
free mix tapes and Vines of my guinea pigs!
309
00:12:48,546 --> 00:12:51,849
You need to apologize to
Nestor so he doesn't sue you.
310
00:12:51,849 --> 00:12:52,811
Let him.
311
00:12:52,811 --> 00:12:54,735
I'll lawyer the hell up!
312
00:12:54,735 --> 00:12:56,658
Nestor is a great photographer.
313
00:12:56,658 --> 00:12:57,620
We need him.
314
00:12:57,620 --> 00:12:58,582
Anyone's a good
315
00:12:58,582 --> 00:13:00,379
photographer now.
316
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:01,468
Shitstain take amazing
317
00:13:01,468 --> 00:13:04,033
Instagrams.
318
00:13:04,033 --> 00:13:05,251
No filter.
319
00:13:05,251 --> 00:13:07,688
Yeah! @Shitstain!
320
00:13:07,688 --> 00:13:09,612
Anyway, bitch, this is your fault.
321
00:13:09,612 --> 00:13:12,819
You need to apologize to him for
being such a no-showing-up bitch!
322
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:21,092
We're sorry we broke your shit.
323
00:13:21,092 --> 00:13:22,503
Okay, good.
324
00:13:22,503 --> 00:13:26,158
Nestor, we'll talk about restitution?
325
00:13:28,883 --> 00:13:30,678
Hey.
326
00:13:30,678 --> 00:13:31,640
You okay?
327
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:32,602
Yeah.
328
00:13:32,602 --> 00:13:33,564
Hell were you doing anyway?
329
00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:35,488
Nothing worth talking about.
330
00:13:35,488 --> 00:13:37,412
You still need to make it up to us.
331
00:13:37,412 --> 00:13:38,567
I'll fire your ass, and it won't
332
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:39,561
mean shit to me.
333
00:13:39,561 --> 00:13:40,779
Yes, it will.
334
00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:41,741
I'm serious.
335
00:13:41,741 --> 00:13:43,665
You owe me, Gretch.
336
00:13:43,665 --> 00:13:45,397
Okay, Sam.
337
00:13:45,397 --> 00:13:46,646
What do you need?
338
00:13:46,646 --> 00:13:49,949
You need to kiss my quarter-Chickasaw ass!
339
00:13:49,949 --> 00:13:51,264
Then you need to get me some
340
00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,194
cocaine.
341
00:13:52,194 --> 00:13:54,182
I'm too famous to get it myself.
342
00:13:54,182 --> 00:13:55,336
I'm not playing.
343
00:13:55,336 --> 00:13:57,580
You on probation now.
344
00:13:57,580 --> 00:13:59,184
Yo!
345
00:13:59,184 --> 00:14:01,364
Ooh! Wait now. Hold on!
346
00:14:01,364 --> 00:14:02,807
High five. Put her there.
347
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:04,026
She's hot.
348
00:14:11,272 --> 00:14:12,555
I got your car towed
349
00:14:12,555 --> 00:14:13,548
back here.
350
00:14:13,548 --> 00:14:17,076
And look who I found getting out of a cab.
351
00:14:21,308 --> 00:14:22,719
Don't worry.
352
00:14:22,719 --> 00:14:24,579
I forgot my purse.
353
00:14:24,579 --> 00:14:26,727
Not on purpose or anything.
354
00:14:26,727 --> 00:14:29,581
I'm gonna leave you two alone.
355
00:14:29,581 --> 00:14:31,409
He's sweet.
356
00:14:31,409 --> 00:14:32,371
It's nice that you let him live
357
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,333
here.
358
00:14:33,333 --> 00:14:34,422
You know your purse
359
00:14:34,422 --> 00:14:35,545
had food in it.
360
00:14:35,545 --> 00:14:37,340
It was covered in ants.
361
00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:38,302
Who keeps food in their purse?
362
00:14:38,302 --> 00:14:39,264
Whoa.
363
00:14:39,264 --> 00:14:40,226
What's your problem?
364
00:14:40,226 --> 00:14:41,188
Well, I've had a
365
00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:42,150
really shitty day.
366
00:14:42,150 --> 00:14:46,222
And then I come home to find that my
bedroom is a goddamn '50s sci-fi movie.
367
00:14:46,222 --> 00:14:49,589
And why would you stay over, huh?
368
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:51,513
That's amateur hour.
369
00:14:51,513 --> 00:14:52,507
Here I was worried
370
00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:53,469
you were gonna get the wrong
371
00:14:53,469 --> 00:14:54,430
idea about last night.
372
00:14:54,430 --> 00:14:56,323
So thank you for saving me the speech.
373
00:14:56,323 --> 00:14:58,246
You were gonna make a speech?
374
00:14:58,246 --> 00:14:59,400
Okay, forget it.
375
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:00,362
Yeah, no kidding.
376
00:15:00,362 --> 00:15:01,934
Save your breath.
377
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:04,146
I don't know what planet
that you're from, but on
378
00:15:04,146 --> 00:15:08,154
my planet, someone like you
does not just get... this!
379
00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:10,270
Congratulations, you
bagged a weakened gazelle.
380
00:15:10,270 --> 00:15:11,232
That's right.
381
00:15:11,232 --> 00:15:13,220
I'm still stupid-hooked on
someone else who is eons further
382
00:15:13,220 --> 00:15:15,593
than you in the evolutionary
scale in all categories except
383
00:15:15,593 --> 00:15:17,068
maybe unearned ego and back fat.
384
00:15:17,068 --> 00:15:19,601
What? You so value honesty, you
385
00:15:19,601 --> 00:15:21,236
had to chew a bride out on her
386
00:15:21,236 --> 00:15:22,519
wedding day in the name of it?
387
00:15:22,519 --> 00:15:23,481
Well, why don't you face this
388
00:15:23,481 --> 00:15:24,699
giant hunk of truth, Jimmy?
389
00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:26,302
There is a fat asterisk next to
390
00:15:26,302 --> 00:15:27,457
my name on your skank-ridden
391
00:15:27,457 --> 00:15:28,578
little bone list and it reads,
392
00:15:28,578 --> 00:15:30,406
"She probably would've gone home
393
00:15:30,406 --> 00:15:32,715
with anyone that night!"
394
00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:34,222
So thank you!
395
00:15:34,222 --> 00:15:35,921
Thank you for my wake-up call,
396
00:15:35,921 --> 00:15:38,038
Jimmy
Stupid-Three-Names.
397
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,929
You are officially my bottom.
398
00:15:50,671 --> 00:15:52,338
Hey, you.
399
00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:53,526
Kiddo.
400
00:15:53,526 --> 00:15:54,871
What a surprise.
401
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,795
I was just in the neighborhood.
402
00:15:56,795 --> 00:15:58,784
Uh, I have an early call time.
403
00:15:58,784 --> 00:16:00,322
But...
404
00:16:00,322 --> 00:16:02,470
Yeah, come in.
405
00:16:02,470 --> 00:16:03,016
Last time you said you were
406
00:16:03,016 --> 00:16:03,951
coming over, you never showed.
407
00:16:04,643 --> 00:16:05,624
I thought you'd grown sick of me.
408
00:16:06,639 --> 00:16:07,724
Nah, you're all right.
409
00:16:08,046 --> 00:16:09,935
You're so beautiful, Gretchen.
410
00:16:33,317 --> 00:16:34,279
Hi.
411
00:16:34,279 --> 00:16:35,241
Hi.
412
00:16:35,241 --> 00:16:36,203
You busy, Jimmy?
413
00:16:36,203 --> 00:16:37,165
Yep.
414
00:16:37,165 --> 00:16:39,312
Well, could you, like,
pause it for a second?
415
00:16:39,312 --> 00:16:41,493
No.
416
00:16:45,245 --> 00:16:46,688
What's wrong with you?
417
00:16:46,688 --> 00:16:47,432
Give me the controller.
418
00:16:47,432 --> 00:16:47,876
No.
419
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:50,855
I've watched you for two years
now get girls to come home with
420
00:16:50,855 --> 00:16:52,876
you, and they're always
gone in the morning.
421
00:16:52,876 --> 00:16:54,873
Sorry, I can help it
if she refused to leave?
422
00:16:56,370 --> 00:16:57,332
Give me my controller.
423
00:16:57,332 --> 00:16:57,991
No.
424
00:16:58,157 --> 00:16:59,138
Fine.
425
00:17:01,597 --> 00:17:03,521
I'm sorry I have to do this.
426
00:17:03,521 --> 00:17:06,375
Now, I don't mind you being jerky
with me because I know you care.
427
00:17:06,375 --> 00:17:07,337
What the...
428
00:17:07,337 --> 00:17:08,299
No, I don't.
429
00:17:08,299 --> 00:17:09,261
Yes, you do.
430
00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:10,223
You're just an animal
431
00:17:10,223 --> 00:17:11,185
living in my house.
432
00:17:11,185 --> 00:17:13,109
But Gretchen stayed, okay?
433
00:17:13,109 --> 00:17:15,609
You say she forced you, but we
both know there's not a person
434
00:17:15,609 --> 00:17:17,790
on this planet that's ever had a
good outcome trying to force you
435
00:17:17,790 --> 00:17:19,842
to do anything.
436
00:17:19,842 --> 00:17:22,246
She stayed, man.
437
00:17:22,246 --> 00:17:26,415
And that means something, whether
you want to admit it or not.
438
00:17:26,415 --> 00:17:29,493
I'm gonna let you go now.
439
00:17:29,493 --> 00:17:30,455
Why would I even
440
00:17:30,455 --> 00:17:31,834
listen to you, eh?
441
00:17:31,834 --> 00:17:33,340
You're a mental case.
442
00:17:33,340 --> 00:17:34,431
You're on, like, a billion
443
00:17:34,431 --> 00:17:37,894
medications that all say
"Take for batshit craziness."
444
00:17:37,894 --> 00:17:39,818
I was defending our country.
445
00:17:39,818 --> 00:17:40,780
Oh, please.
446
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,895
You weren't defending anything
except for the business
447
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:43,986
interests of evil men.
448
00:17:43,986 --> 00:17:47,642
Jimmy, our country is the
business interests of evil men.
449
00:17:47,642 --> 00:17:51,168
That may be the most intelligent
thing you've ever said.
450
00:17:51,168 --> 00:17:52,130
Thanks.
451
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,054
You're still a goddamn lunatic.
452
00:17:54,054 --> 00:17:55,016
Hey, wait.
453
00:17:55,016 --> 00:17:55,978
Come on, man.
454
00:17:55,978 --> 00:17:57,005
W-Wait. Where are you doing?
455
00:17:57,005 --> 00:17:59,377
To a bar, where I can drink in peace.
456
00:17:59,377 --> 00:18:01,366
Come on, Killian.
457
00:18:04,924 --> 00:18:05,886
All right, call the police.
458
00:18:05,886 --> 00:18:06,847
On me?
459
00:18:06,847 --> 00:18:08,740
Someone's stolen my car.
460
00:18:08,740 --> 00:18:10,663
No, Gretchen took it, remember?
461
00:18:10,663 --> 00:18:11,197
Gretchen took my...
462
00:18:11,462 --> 00:18:12,975
Sorry, Gretchen took my car?
463
00:18:13,136 --> 00:18:13,503
Yeah.
464
00:18:13,503 --> 00:18:15,427
I saw her driving it away earlier.
465
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:16,389
I figured you loaned it to her.
466
00:18:16,389 --> 00:18:18,313
Come to think of it, I did
think that was kind of weird.
467
00:18:18,313 --> 00:18:20,237
She doesn't have a license!
468
00:18:20,237 --> 00:18:21,198
Huh.
469
00:18:21,198 --> 00:18:22,160
She must've stolen your keys
470
00:18:22,160 --> 00:18:24,020
from the counter.
471
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:28,925
You got to admit, that's
kind of a baller move.
472
00:18:32,325 --> 00:18:34,282
You guys are fun.
473
00:18:43,451 --> 00:18:46,048
Um, hey.
474
00:18:46,048 --> 00:18:47,716
Yes, Gretchen?
475
00:18:47,716 --> 00:18:50,217
Can we just take a little break?
476
00:18:50,217 --> 00:18:54,053
Sure.
477
00:18:59,868 --> 00:19:02,562
So... what's the
478
00:19:02,562 --> 00:19:04,582
worst thing you've ever done?
479
00:19:04,582 --> 00:19:06,378
Gretchen, you know ever
480
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:07,340
since India I don't dwell on
481
00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:09,455
negativity.
482
00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:11,026
I set my high
483
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:12,085
school on fire to get out of a
484
00:19:12,085 --> 00:19:13,784
math test.
485
00:19:15,131 --> 00:19:16,189
What?
486
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:18,080
Why are you telling me that?
487
00:19:18,080 --> 00:19:19,716
That's horrible.
488
00:19:19,716 --> 00:19:21,640
Never mind.
489
00:19:21,640 --> 00:19:23,820
Kidding.
490
00:19:31,002 --> 00:19:33,888
Oh, you're a marvel.
491
00:19:35,427 --> 00:19:36,999
Ooh, that's terrific.
492
00:19:36,999 --> 00:19:37,961
Yeah.
493
00:19:40,590 --> 00:19:42,962
Did you just spit on me?
494
00:19:42,962 --> 00:19:45,335
No.
495
00:19:45,335 --> 00:19:47,804
Yes. Sorry.
496
00:19:47,804 --> 00:19:52,421
Oh, Gretch.
497
00:19:52,421 --> 00:19:54,601
Mmm.
498
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:57,103
That's delicious.
499
00:19:57,103 --> 00:20:00,470
Do you still have cocaine?
500
00:20:38,287 --> 00:20:39,666
Hello?
501
00:20:39,666 --> 00:20:42,294
What are you doing?
502
00:20:42,294 --> 00:20:44,058
Nothing. Just...
503
00:20:45,116 --> 00:20:45,783
reading.
504
00:20:46,068 --> 00:20:50,176
Hey, you won't believe
this. Someone stole my car.
505
00:20:50,176 --> 00:20:51,619
Oh.
506
00:20:51,619 --> 00:20:54,409
God, that's... awful.
507
00:20:54,409 --> 00:20:57,262
Yeah, I have to file a
police report in the morning.
508
00:20:57,262 --> 00:20:59,186
I may have borrowed it.
509
00:20:59,186 --> 00:21:00,148
I know.
510
00:21:00,148 --> 00:21:01,687
Oh.
511
00:21:01,687 --> 00:21:04,028
Well, sorry.
512
00:21:04,028 --> 00:21:05,599
I told you I'm the worst.
513
00:21:05,599 --> 00:21:10,313
Actually, no, you said that I was the
worst and that I was lucky to get you.
514
00:21:10,313 --> 00:21:12,140
Yeah. About that...
515
00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,134
No, don't apologize.
516
00:21:13,134 --> 00:21:14,577
It was a great speech.
517
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:17,709
It was funny and true and mean.
518
00:21:18,477 --> 00:21:19,567
My favorite kind.
519
00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:25,193
I set my school on fire
to get out of a math test.
520
00:21:27,367 --> 00:21:28,487
That's genius.
521
00:21:29,117 --> 00:21:32,720
Oh, and... I... lied to you before.
522
00:21:34,307 --> 00:21:35,528
I do have a foot thing.
523
00:21:37,097 --> 00:21:38,829
Seriously?
524
00:21:38,829 --> 00:21:39,983
Yeah.
525
00:21:39,983 --> 00:21:42,612
In fact, I was just trying to
find the right clip online to,
526
00:21:42,612 --> 00:21:46,588
you know... s-so that I could fall asleep.
527
00:21:46,588 --> 00:21:50,693
But... nothing's quite right.
528
00:21:50,693 --> 00:21:52,905
Oh.
529
00:21:52,905 --> 00:21:53,730
Do you want me to try?
530
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:57,123
What?
531
00:21:57,480 --> 00:21:58,891
Shh. Let me think.
532
00:21:58,891 --> 00:22:01,039
Come on, this is stupid.
533
00:22:01,039 --> 00:22:03,091
Shut up.
534
00:22:03,091 --> 00:22:08,639
I have been walking around
all day in these new shoes,
535
00:22:08,639 --> 00:22:11,524
and they are just so...
536
00:22:11,524 --> 00:22:14,410
hot and tight.
537
00:22:14,410 --> 00:22:15,661
Oh, yeah?
538
00:22:15,661 --> 00:22:21,914
And my socks are so... sweaty.
539
00:22:21,914 --> 00:22:23,132
That happens.
540
00:22:23,132 --> 00:22:26,178
I think I might just have to take them off.
541
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:28,647
You do that.
542
00:22:28,647 --> 00:22:33,488
Hey, you're, uh... very
nice for doing this.
543
00:22:33,488 --> 00:22:36,534
I am very nice.
544
00:22:36,534 --> 00:22:39,388
Jimmy... I'm scared of this
545
00:22:39,388 --> 00:22:42,274
shit, you know?
546
00:22:42,274 --> 00:22:44,551
I don't like it.
547
00:22:44,551 --> 00:22:46,025
I don't believe in it
548
00:22:46,025 --> 00:22:48,013
anymore, so...
549
00:22:48,013 --> 00:22:49,136
So if we both know
550
00:22:49,136 --> 00:22:52,310
that it can't work, then there's no harm.
551
00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:55,068
Right?
552
00:22:55,068 --> 00:22:57,440
Right.
553
00:23:00,711 --> 00:23:03,501
What kind of socks?
554
00:23:03,501 --> 00:23:06,611
Mmm... knee-high basketball socks.
555
00:23:06,611 --> 00:23:08,983
Orange and green stripes.
556
00:23:08,983 --> 00:23:10,171
You're amazing.
557
00:23:10,171 --> 00:23:11,388
You're 19 types of trouble
558
00:23:11,388 --> 00:23:13,953
but... amazing.
559
00:23:13,953 --> 00:23:16,197
Yeah, so are you.
560
00:23:16,197 --> 00:23:18,987
19 types.
561
00:23:18,987 --> 00:23:19,949
Well, it's late.
562
00:23:19,949 --> 00:23:20,911
Did you finish?
563
00:23:20,911 --> 00:23:22,469
I think the moment's gone, isn't it?
564
00:23:22,469 --> 00:23:23,268
All right.
565
00:23:23,268 --> 00:23:24,228
Have a good night.
566
00:23:24,228 --> 00:23:25,188
Call me.
567
00:23:25,188 --> 00:23:26,181
I will.
568
00:23:26,273 --> 00:23:28,758
Synced and corrected by Nsiko
www.Addic7ed.com
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