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- I think your tape... - Oh, Jesus!

...got eaten.

Jesus! That was good!

- Yeah. They're great, Creedence. - This thing's brand new!

- How about the radio? - Radio doesn't work.

You can't get anything out here. No entertainment.

Now there's no entertainment. Damn it!

Well, I guess we just have to talk to each other, huh?

We talked to each other already.

Yeah, I know where you're from.

Hey, hey, hey, want to see something real scary?

- Sure. - I love this. Okay?

- Yeah, what? - We're driving along here, right?

- Yeah. - Imagine... Not running out of gas,

- we have plenty of gas. All right? - Yeah.

Oh, my God! What are those gravel beds up ahead?

They're gonna fly up and knock out our lights.

- Hey, come on. - Blackness. Oh, my goodness.

Why, there could be nuns ahead, we wouldn't even see them.

- Isn't this amazing? Look! - Yeah, yeah.

I don't know whether it's too safe.

I used to play chicken and see how far we could drive

without someone, either the passenger or the driver, going, "Stop."

- Well, I don't know. - Oh, my God, huh?

- I think you better just... - Who's chicken, huh?

...turn the lights on now. - Is that a bear up there?

Uh-oh, more pebbles.

Oh, my goodness. It looks like they're out permanently this time.

- This is dangerous. - No. The road's straight,

it's just kind of scary, a little. What is that up ahead?

Something might come up ahead.

- Yeah, right. - A big, huge squirrel!

Chicks love that.

- That's scary enough. - I know. I like it.

- Hey, you like trivia? - Yeah.

Okay. Want to play TV theme songs?

- Sure. - You know how to play that?

- No. - I'll hum a theme song.

If you guess it, you get to hum one. If I guess it, I get to have it back.

- Okay. - Lf you get three in a row, you win.

- Okay. I'm good at that. - Okay. Okay, I'll start.

Want a hint?

- Sea Hunt. - Sea Hunt. Go.

All right.

- Perry Mason! - You got it.

Bonanza! All right.

- Real McCoys. - No.

Fred Gwynne...

- The Beverly Hillbillies. - No.

- Car 54. - That's it. All right.

- Thanks for the Fred Gwynne. - Absolutely, absolutely.

All right. How about this one?

Know it?

Look at that fossil

It's stuck over there in the tar

Look at that old man He looks like an old ape

- What is it? - No.

Look at that old bone

It could be worth some bucks

- What is it? - I don't know.

Look at those two apes This must be where they lived

Look at that city Let's continue to dig

- What is it? - I really don't know.

It's National Geographic. National Geographic.

- Okay, all right. Okay, I got one for you. - Okay.

Yes.

What is it?

I don't know, but you're doing it great. Sounds like it was on CBS.

- You know what... - I don't know.

- "Book him, Danno. Book him, Danno." - "Book him, Danno. Book him, Danno."

One more hint.

- What was its locale? Locale? - Surfboards.

- "An island in the Pacific Ocean." - Gilligan's Island!

- Hawaii Five-O! - Yes.

Jesus, I thought I was good at this.

Did you ever watch The Twilight Zone?

Oh, God, remember The Twilight Zone with Burgess Meredith?

Remember, he loved to read,

and there was a nuclear war, and he had no friends anyway,

and he was down in the basement of the library.

- Oh, yeah, with the glasses! - Yes.

He was the last man and he broke his glasses.

- Yeah. - This thing freaked me out.

When I was seven years old, I bought another pair of glasses

just in case that would happen.

Those shows, they were so good, they were so scary.

- Yeah. - They were great.

Remember the one where the guy had the stopwatch?

Somebody in a bar gave him a stopwatch,

and he was this real obnoxious guy.

And he took the stopwatch, and he hit it, and everybody else in time froze but him.

- That's an Outer Limits. - No, that was a Zone.

- That's an Outer Limits. - That was a Zone.

Well, they had one about the mannequins

that got two weeks off and turned into humans

and they were allowed to go out and shop for two weeks on their own.

And then this one came back and it was over two weeks,

and the other mannequins went "Come over here for a minute"

- and turned her into plastic. - Boy, they were scary. They were great.

I loved it.

Hey, you want to see something really scary?

You bet!

- Really? - Yeah.

Okay, this is really, really scary now.

- I trust you. - Okay, pull the car over.

- Pull the car over? - You want to see it?

- Well, show me while I'm driving. - No, I can't. I can't tell you about it.

It should only take a couple of seconds.

All right. Two seconds. Okay?

- Okay. - What is it?

- Just pull it over. - Okay.

- I'll show you. - All right.

Okay.

Scare me.

- Are you ready? - Okay, go ahead.

What are you doing?

You unlock this door with the key of imagination.

Beyond it is another dimension,

a dimension of sound,

a dimension of sight,

a dimension of mind.

You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,

of things and ideas.

You've just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.

You're about to meet an angry man, Mr. William Connor,

who carries on his shoulder a chip the size of the national debt.

This is a sour man, a lonely man, who's tired of waiting for the breaks

that come to others but never to him.

Mr. William Connor, whose own blind hatred is about to catapult him

into the darkest corner of the Twilight Zone.

Hey! Hey! Bill!

- How you doing? - All right.

I can't stay long. My wife's relatives from Florida are coming over for dinner.

Hey, girl, another beer over here!

Bill, you look kind of cranky this evening.

Yeah, I'm pissed, all right.

Know that guy Goldman?

You didn't get promoted?

They gave it to that Jew bastard.

Why don't you come over here and cheer me up? I need it.

Just drink your beer.

What about you? You want to cheer me up?

Don't touch me.

"Don't touch me." Okay.

I think she likes you, Bill.

- I can't believe it, you know? I can't. - Bill, drink your beer. Relax.

What do you mean, "relax"?

They give Goldman my promotion and you're telling me to relax.

You know what that would've meant to me?

An extra $6,000 a year that I'd earn.

You know, them kikes,

they always get more money. You know that, don't you?

How long has Goldman been there?

So what if he's been there longer than me? So what? I'm better than him!

I worked hard for that promotion, and what happens?

They give it to some Jew.

I mean, what else do the hell they want, for Christ's sake?

They own everything as it is.

Come on, Bill, the Jews don't own everything.

The Arabs won't let them.

Arabs. What the hell is that? Just a nigger wrapped up in a sheet.

- He's on a roll now. - I'll tell you something.

I don't know what's the matter with this country,

but it's getting tougher and tougher to earn a living.

You know why? I'll tell you why.

Because of the Jews, because of the blacks, because of the Orientals.

- You're ranting, Bill. - Yeah, I'm ranting. Why not?

You know who owns my house? Jap bank!

I tell you something else, niggers live not more than six blocks from my house!

Six blocks.

Excuse me, mister. Have you got a problem?

Yeah, I got a lot of problems.

Look, I really don't care what you gentlemen think

as long as we don't have to listen to it.

It's okay. No problem.

My friend's just a little upset, that's all. He got some bad news today.

Yeah...

You trying to get us killed?

I just finished telling you that some Jew got my job,

niggers live in my neighborhood! You getting embarrassed?

You want to leave? You want me to hold it down? What?

- Bill, just take it easy. - Hey, don't give me that!

I'm gonna tell you something. I love this country, damn it.

And I fought for it in Korea. And my country paid me to kill gooks.

Hey! Hey!

But those same gooks now own my house.

I needed that job.

I really needed that promotion.

I was counting on the extra money.

I don't understand. The Jews are rich.

What the hell do they want with my job, anyway?

Hey, Bill, I know Goldman. You can't exactly call him rich.

You don't understand what the hell I'm talking about, do you?

I'm trying to tell you that I'm better than a Jew.

I'm better than some African spear-chucker,

I'm better than some gook, because I'm an American!

I'm an American! Doesn't that mean anything anymore?

- Hold it down. - No, you hold it down!

How about, "Please, hold it down?"

How about, "Please, hold this?"

Hey, Bill, wait a minute.

Bill.

Hey, I'm real sorry about your boy, man.

What?

Hey.

Hey, that's my wallet. Hold it. That's my wallet!

That's a... That's a credit card, for Christ's sake.

Look, that's my license, that's my wallet, that's my credit card.

Hey, guys, give me a break.

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute!

Lady, help me, please.

I've been shot.

I don't know where I am, lady. I need some...

Can you help me, lady? Look, this... I've been shot. I...

I don't know what's happening to me.

Please, lady.

They were the ones who shot me.

No, no, no.

No, no.

We got you now, nigger.

This nigger's got a gold watch.

You stole this, didn't you, boy?

Where am I?

Look, I didn't do anything wrong. What are you doing to me?

Hang the coon son of a bitch!

Are you crazy? You're insane. You're all crazy!

Burn that nigger!

- I'm not a nigger. - Okay, look out.

I didn't do anything wrong.

I didn't do anything wrong. What are you doing to me?

Shut up, nigger!

I'm a white man! What the hell's the matter with you? I'm white!

The nigger's getting away!

Charlie's out there, man. I know it.

Be cool, man. Don't get your nuts in a bunch.

He's right, man. Something's moving.

Hey, I don't want no VC up my ass, man.

- Hey. - Shut up!

Help. I'm an American! I'm an American. Help me!

I told you guys, we shouldn't have shot Lieutenant Niedermayer!

Take it easy, will you? Will you? They shot me in the leg.

Take it easy there, will you? Where are you taking me?

Look, I want to speak to a commanding officer!

I demand to speak to your commanding officer, you hear me?

I demand to speak to the commanding officer!

No, no, no, no!

Ray.

Ray! Ray! Larry!

It's me! Larry! Larry, help!

Ray, it's me! Hey, Larry! Ray, it's me!

Ray, help! Larry! Ray!

It's me! It's me! It's me! It's me!

Help! Help! It's me!

It is sometimes said that where there is no hope, there is no life.

Case in point, the residents of Sunnyvale Rest Home,

where hope is just a memory.

But hope just checked into Sunnyvale,

disguised as an elderly optimist who carries his magic in a shiny tin can.

Vitamin A is for the scalp, the hair, vision, and teeth.

Vitamin B is for the hair and mucous membrane.

Vitamin C is for the circulatory system.

Very important for that part.

And let's not forget calcium for good strong bones and teeth.

Before we get to that, though,

I always recommend a little lemon juice in the diet.

Good diet, healthy senior citizen.

Now to E. This is an important one.

If you've enjoyed healthy sex throughout your life,

there's no reason why you can't continue to enjoy, well into your 80s.

Now, I have some special exercises for you.

That's Leo Conroy. That's his kid. He's in real estate.

Well, first, lean down over your lap.

That's right. Arms hanging loosely.

Good. Now, roll your spine up.

You said maybe this week I could come visit.

Come visit.

I wish you could, Pop, but it's bad timing this week.

- We really have to be going now. - I understand.

Maybe next week, Pop.

We're gonna be late for the game. Jeff has to...

Bye-bye, Pop.

So long.

Every second Saturday, he carries those cases down to his kid's car,

and every second Saturday he carries them back upstairs again and unpacks.

The answer is.

It's been nicknamed "Scourge of the Sons of Han"

because of its perennial flooding.

Don't say it, Agee. I'm thinking.

What is the Yellow River?

Those damn kids!

They've been told not to play around here. Old people need their rest.

Well, they're just playing, Mr. Conroy. No harm done.

I wish I could go out there and play with them.

- Why don't you, Mrs. Dempsey? - Because, Mr. Bloom,

she is old.

You're never too old to play, Mr. Conroy.

You see, when I rest, I rust.

Is this your first time in an old age home, Bloom?

No, actually, Mr. Conroy, I've been in six or eight of them.

Tell me, Mrs. Dempsey, if you could go out there and play with those children tonight,

what would you want to play?

Well, I used to love all kinds of games, especially jacks.

I used to be elementary school jacks champion.

Don't say it, Agee! I'm thinking.

But if I could tell my body now what to do, I would dance.

Who is Bartholomew Cubbins?

- Who is Bartholomew Cubbins? - Good for you. Bartholomew Cubbins!

I would be honored if you would dance with me, Mrs. Dempsey.

I would love... Oh, my back!

Paul, this is Amadeus.

Remember how to use him?

What I wouldn't give just to be hitting puberty again.

Oh, go on.

Remember this, Mrs. Dempsey?

"Not last night, but the night before

"24 robbers came knocking at my door

"As I ran out, they ran in

- "And this is what they said to me..." - Stop!

You had a full life, sweetheart. Don't go sloppy on me now.

And put on the shoes, huh?

A good Jew only goes barefoot when someone has died.

I'm not that kind of Jew.

Well, I am. Put them on.

Mr. Weinstein, what were you like as a boy?

Oh, I loved to climb anything. Like a cat, I could climb.

- I always wanted to be Douglas Fairbanks. - Oh, you still do, Mr. Agee.

I broke more bedsprings and bones by jumping from my dresser to the bed

and out the window.

Me, I like being old.

My son has promised to have me frozen.

You're already frozen, popsiclehead.

What about you, Mr. Bloom?

- What did you play? - My game was kick the can.

Oh, that was a boys' game. My late husband, Jack Dempsey...

- Not the fighter? - Oh, not the fighter, not the fighter.

Jack Dempsey was the most gentle man who ever walked on the earth.

Jack Dempsey loved that game. He absolutely loved...

What is the point of all this talk? Why are you dredging all this up?

It isn't healthy!

"Birdie with the yellow bill, hopped upon my window sill

"Cocked his shiny eye and said, 'Ain't you shamed, you sleepyhead?"'

Marbles! Now there was a game.

Life was so simple and gentle when I was a little girl.

- People took care of me. - They take care of you here.

Miss Cox takes great care of you. Doesn't let you do a thing.

No. But I had lots of friends and toys.

- Toys? You want toys? - Toys.

Why, they have toys here to last you the rest of your life.

- And friends? - Oh, yes, friends.

Why, Mr. Bloom here is trying to make friends.

Trying to stir them all up, aren't you, Bloom?

The day we stop playing is the day we start getting old,

start watching the clock,

waiting for the days to hurry up and end, counting the years.

We always have something to look forward to.

Another dawn, another day, another summer,

another game of kick the can!

Kick the can!

- So who's playing? - What?

I'm starting up a game of kick the can! Who's playing?

Bloom, when was the last time you fell down

and couldn't get up by yourself?

How dare you ask them to go out there

and risk the little bit of life they have left in them?

Life is risk, Mr. Conroy.

I'm not asking anybody to do anything that I'm not willing to do.

Well, I agree with that.

Maybe if we played kick the can,

we'd get a little hold of that magic we all been missing.

A little hold on youth.

Look, their bones are old and will break if they try to run.

Their hearts are old. Their lungs are old!

Miss Cox would never allow us to go out there and play, Mr. Bloom.

- It's against the rules. - Rules?

- Did rules ever stop a child? - No.

You gonna let rules stop you from the chance of being young again?

Oh, no, no, no. I don't think so.

You see, this old man still has a little magic left in him.

And if you believe, I can promise to make you all feel like children again.

You're making promises they can't keep!

- Mrs. Dempsey, I want to see you dance. - Oh, I would love that.

And I want to see you climb, Mr. Weinstein.

Like a ketsele I'll climb!

We'll break the rules.

What can they take away from us we haven't already lost?

When were you thinking of playing, Mr. Bloom?

Tonight, tonight, tonight!

Don't bother to wake me up!

It's time.

It's time.

It smells like midnight, as I recall.

One, two, three, four, five, six,

seven, eight, nine, ten.

I see you, Agee!

Tallyho! Tallyho!

Mr. Bloom is...

Oh, see, Mr. Bloom?

Paul kicked the can.

Mr. Bloom is "it" again.

Ollie ollie oxen free!

- Ollie ollie oxen free! - Ollie ollie oxen free!

- Ollie ollie oxen free! - Ollie ollie oxen free!

- Ollie ollie oxen free! - Ollie ollie oxen free!

Damn kids.

Ollie ollie oxen free! Ollie ollie oxen free!

Ollie ollie oxen...

Oh, my God!

- Gladys? - Is that you, Harry?

Such a little mieskeyt.

Look how short I am!

Play. Play. You wanted to play? Go play!

Beware the thrust of my steel!

Beware of the Black Pirate!

"Birdie with a yellow bill hopped upon my window sill

"Cocked his shiny eye and said, 'Ain't you shamed, you sleepyhead?"'

I'll be the boy, and I'll catch you!

- No, Mr. Agee, you stay away! - Not now!

No, Mr. Agee!

I like your scent. It's like everlasting youth.

Agee, get away from my wife!

"Not last night, but the night before

"Twenty-four robbers came knocking at my door

"I ran out, they ran in"

May I have your dance?

Sir, I don't wish to appear ungrateful, but why didn't you come, too?

I found out a long, long time ago

I wanted to be my own true age and try and keep a young mind.

Your wish has come true. You're children again.

- You got your whole life before you. - But my life was hard.

I had a swell life.

I could do 60 years standing on my head.

I'm cold. Where are we going to spend the night?

- Who's going to take care of us? - No problem for us.

We'll just knock on our son's door and say, "Let us in, Murray. We're your parents."

Now, wait a minute.

Let's think this over. I mean, we're talking about being young again.

We're talking about sex.

But Jack Dempsey isn't here! I'll never meet him!

My ring! My wedding ring! It fell off!

Oh, please, I didn't ask to be young again.

All I wanted to do was dance.

I can be old and dance.

I'm not going to school again.

I remember the night when my father died.

We laid him out and sent all the children outside.

I saw Halley's Comet fly over.

I don't want to lose all the people that I loved again.

I was too young to see Halley's Comet.

I was going to see it when I was 80 years old.

That's only two birthdays away, Mrs. Dempsey.

Would you like to see it at eight or 80?

Eighty.

Thank you.

Well, you can always go inside and go back to bed.

Maybe if you old folks had a little of that magic still left in you,

you could wake up back in your old, nice bodies,

but with fresh young minds.

Fresh young minds.

Young minds.

- Fresh young minds. - Fresh young minds.

Yeah.

- Harry, wait! - Wait a minute, wait a minute!

I like being young.

Popsiclehead!

There are kids in the beds.

There are kids in the beds!

- There are kids... - Kids, kids, kids.

Kids.

Yeah. Yeah.

- What are you talking about? - You'll see. There were kids in the beds.

The bed...

Well, they have...

There were kids in the beds.

- Good evening, Miss Cox. - Well, they're old now.

Tallyho!

Welcome to Sherwood, milady. What, Sir Guy? No greetings from you?

Why are you doing in here, you little ragamuffin?

How dare you come in here at this hour of the night and frighten these people.

Please, take me with you.

I want to go, too.

You can't come with me, Leo.

You'll have to stay with yourself.

"There's a destiny that shapes our ends, roughhewn though it may be."

I'm sorry.

Well, let's away!

But I'm ready now.

- I'm ready. - It's wonderful to be young again!

Beware the thrust of my steel. Tallyho!

He'll get it.

Tomatoes are on the fence.

We've been saying for years that we'd go and see that lake.

Let's ask Murray to come along.

Let's ask Mr. Conroy, he could bring his grandchild.

Mr. Agee! Mr. Agee! Has anyone seen Mr. Agee?

Hannah?

Why are you sitting around moping, sitting around hoping

Just listen to me

I'm sure that you will agree Age means nothing

- Mr. Bloom? - In person.

Oh, how wonderful! We were expecting you.

Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen, our new guest has arrived.

Portrait of a woman in transit. Helen Foley, age 27.

Occupation, schoolteacher.

Up until now, the pattern of her life has been one of unrelenting sameness,

waiting for something different to happen.

Helen Foley doesn't know it yet, but her waiting has just ended.

Okay, I give up. Where am I?

Well, you're not lost.

It looks like you missed a turnoff at Cliffordville right there.

Yeah, okay, half mile down the road's a gas station, that's Beaumont.

You hang a left and you go four blocks.

The highway cuts right in front of it. You can't miss it.

You probably...

Hey, kid, easy on the machinery.

It doesn't work right.

Kid, I don't build the games, I just keep the quarters.

Why don't you stick another quarter in, maybe it'll work better.

See, the highway splits right outside of town, it goes off...

Walter, the kid is screwing up the TV.

Hey, it's his quarter. The TV's free, you know.

Yeah? I got 20 bucks on this.

Lots of luck.

So, where you headed?

- Willoughby. - Hey, nice town.

- You got a job set up there or what? - No, not really.

Where you from?

- Homewood. - Nice town.

- Lf you say so. - Hello. Yeah.

Hey, Walter, it's your wife.

- Your wife. - Thanks.

...cannot hurt him. There's a left-hand...

- Okay. - Hey, Charlie.

Hey, come on, man, take it easy. Take it easy.

That's it.

That's enough!

What's going on here?

Hey, what happened?

Hey, look, I don't know what happened, lady.

Whatever happened, I'm sorry.

Yes, well...

Hey, forget about the sandwich. No charge.

Terrific.

- Nice town. - That was real good.

Thanks a lot, guys.

Oh, my God.

Are you all right?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Are you sure? Here. Let me see.

Oh, shit. God.

Oh, no! Look at that! Look, I'll give you some money.

- Can you get it fixed? - Yeah.

- Could you maybe give me a ride home? - Sure.

You live all the way out here?

I'll bet your parents are worried about you.

- Not really. - No?

Today's my birthday. They don't even care about that.

Really?

Wow.

- What a crummy birthday. - It's okay.

I made a friend.

Me, too.

I'm Anthony.

- Helen Foley. - I'm very glad to meet you, Helen.

Thank you.

What a lovely house.

- You like it? - Yeah.

It's really peaceful out here by itself.

Come on in.

Hello? It's me!

- Hi, Anthony! - Hi!

- Well, well, well. - Hello.

- Anthony's home! - Look at this. How do you do?

- This is Helen. - Is that right? Helen?

Helen, delighted to meet you. Any friend of Anthony's is a friend...

Hello.

This is Uncle Walt and my sister, Ethel.

How do you do?

Well, now, did I hear Anthony come in?

- Yes, there he is! - This is my mother and father.

- Hello. - Hello.

- This is Helen. - Helen Foley.

Helen. Delighted.

- It's a pleasure to meet you, Helen. - She gave me a ride home.

- Did she? - You don't mean it!

Very generous of you.

Yes, well, I'm afraid we had a little accident.

Accident?

Yes, well, I knocked Anthony down while he was riding his bicycle.

- Did you? - You knocked him down?

Yes.

Well, doesn't look like there was any harm done.

- No, sir. No, sir. Anthony's fine. - Oh, yes. Yes, Anthony's fine!

- Can Helen stay for supper, Mother? - Oh, no, really, I was just...

- What a wonderful idea! - Good idea.

Of course she can!

Well, that would be lovely.

- Can we eat right now? - Oh, yes.

- Sure! Why not! - Why not? We can eat anytime we want.

- May I wash my hands? - Right this way.

- You may leave this. - All right.

- And I'll help you with your sweater. - Thank you.

See you in a little while.

Mind the step.

Anthony.

Anthony?

Anthony?

Ah, the beach.

Oh, I used to love the beach.

Well then, you don't get a light.

Give me a light and you can have a cigarette.

You give me a cigarette, then you can have a light.

It doesn't work that way. I found them first.

Don't tell me how it works.

Here. Here. Where is that mirror? You two shouldn't be smoking, anyway.

You know it isn't good for you.

Hello.

That's Sara, my other sister.

She was in an accident.

Here I come.

I always like to let them know when I'm coming.

- We're ready to eat now. - Wonderful!

Well, that's marvelous!

- Great! I'm starving. - Me, too. Me, too.

Well, let's get started. I bet Anthony is really hungry.

Come on, now. Here you go.

Here's your sweater, dear.

Well, now, you know, we are so happy that you can eat with us.

You know, Anthony is so thoughtful about things like that.

Would you like to sit beside me?

- Maybe your mother would... - Oh, no, no, no.

You see, I'm going to have to be fixing supper.

Yes, that's right.

You sit right next to Anthony.

Oh, that's fine. Just fine.

- All right. All right. - Very good, yes.

Now, you listen to me, don't you dare bring one more thing into this house!

Do you hear me? One more thing!

Not one solitary single thing!

A mouse!

Darling, do you remember where supper is?

You know where it is.

- I do? - In the oven, isn't it, Mother?

Oh, yes! Yes, of course! Of course.

- How silly of me. - She never knows.

- I'll help you find it, Mother. - We'll be back in just a little while.

We cartoon characters can have a wonderful life,

if we only take advantage of it.

- We can do anything we think of. - What do you mean, chum?

Well, supposing I decide I want to be a mouse.

I'm a mouse.

This is a good cartoon.

- What else do you like? - Nothing else is as good.

Anything can happen in cartoons.

- Here we go! - Good eatings for everybody.

- Yummy, yummy, yummy! - Yes, sir.

All right, all right, come on.

Anthony, this is yours, dear, in your regular place right there.

And, Helen, why don't you sit right here next to Anthony.

- This is for you, Uncle Walt. - Thank you.

- There we are. - Here you go, Mother.

- Thank you. - Thank you, Mother.

You're welcome, Anthony.

- I love this. This is great. - It really hits the spot.

Okay?

Fine.

Peanut butter. It's good that way.

- Peanut butter makes the burger. - That's right. That's right.

Wouldn't go down otherwise.

Peanut butter's good for you.

I could eat another plateful.

Do you eat like this all the time?

Anthony can always have anything he wants.

- Anything at all. - You bet.

Well, don't you think it's good?

You're young. You need your nutrition.

You can't eat like this all the time.

It's not good all the time.

- No, it's not! - Anthony, that is absolutely right!

- You hit the nail on the head! - You are so right!

You never tell me that!

Not happy birthday!

No, not happy birthday!

Of course! It's a birthday supper.

Another birthday? With presents? And wishes?

I didn't do it!

It's okay. Everything's okay.

I'm sorry, Anthony. I really have to be going.

No, please don't go!

Uncle Walt's gonna do a trick!

He's gonna do a trick.

- Oh, you've got to stay for the trick! - He's going to do a trick!

Come back. Come back. Wait. Wait.

- Do the hat trick, Uncle Walt. - Yes. Oh, yes.

- Where's the hat? - It's on the TV.

- There it is. All right. - Now, then, you've got to stay here.

You sit right down there.

The hat trick.

Well, let's see.

Nothing up the sleeve. There we go. That's it. Nothing up the sleeve. See that?

Well, nothing up the sleeve and...

And... I beg your pardon. Excuse me. Yes.

- Go ahead, Uncle Walt. - Oh, yes, yes.

But the hat. Where's the hat?

Nothing, as you can see, in the hat, right?

Nothing in the hat.

So...

You'll like this. Do it, Uncle Walt!

Yes, sir.

- Go ahead, Uncle Walt! - Yes.

You see?

Isn't this fun? We do it a lot.

- You'll love it here. - You'll really like it here. Really. I promise.

- I swear you'll like it. - Do more!

Go away!

Please don't go, Helen. I can make it real nice here.

I can make the food just the way you said it should be.

I can even change the house.

Just say it and I can make whatever you like. Just don't...

I told you. They hate me!

They want to send me away to someplace bad

just like my real mother and father did.

That's not right, Anthony. You know we wouldn't do that.

No, we love you, Anthony. Honestly, we do.

- Sure. - They're afraid of me!

Everybody is. That's why they act that way.

And I do everything for them.

They can just sit around and watch TV all day.

No one has to do a thing. Not a thing!

- And I'm real good all the time. - That's right. You're a good boy, Anthony.

- You're a good boy. We love you. - Yeah.

Well, then, I wonder who wrote this note.

I wonder who called me a monster.

It wasn't me, Anthony.

Why, I'd never do anything like that, you know that.

- Don't look at me. - Me either!

It wasn't any of us, Anthony. It was her!

- No. It wasn't me! - No, her, her. Ethel! Ethel!

It must have been Ethel. Of course, it had to have been Ethel.

- That's right. - Yes.

Ethel! There you are. It was Ethel. That's right.

- Oh, great. - It had to have been Ethel.

Of course, it was Ethel. Of course.

Oh, I didn't know that.

What a big surprise. Ethel, huh?

Go ahead, Anthony. Do it! Do it!

Do what, Ethel?

Now, do you realize you'll never get out of here?

You think it was an accident you came here?

He made it happen.

He brought you here, just like he brought us here and kept us here.

Just the way he'll keep you here.

Maybe he'll get mad at you like he did to his real sister

and cripple you and take away your mouth

so you won't be able to yell at him anymore.

Or maybe he'll do to you what he did to his real mother and father.

Time for you to go now, Ethel.

- Anthony, don't! - It's a big surprise.

I just made it up.

I'm wishing you into cartoonland.

Jesus.

I told you cartoons are good.

- Anything can happen in them. - We've been expecting you.

Run, Ethel! Run!

That's all, Ethel.

I can't help it, Helen. I don't want to hurt anybody.

All I want is for people not to be afraid of me.

You don't understand. Nobody does.

All I have to do is wish for something and it happens.

I can do anything.

Anything!

Wish it away, Anthony.

Wish it away!

I hate this house!

I hate everything about it.

I wish it away. I wish it all away!

Anthony?

- Where are we? - Nowhere.

And the others?

I sent them where they wanted to go, away from me.

It's not fair.

You're supposed to be happy when your wishes come true.

You're supposed to be happy when your wishes come true.

Anthony, take us back.

Take us back.

So you can leave, too?

And go where, Anthony?

I've seen what you can do.

I know you have a power, a gift that makes you special.

You better be careful,

or one day

it may become too big for you to control.

Now, maybe, just maybe,

together we can master it and learn from it,

use it in ways you never thought of before.

I'd like to be your teacher, Anthony,

and your student.

You'd stay with me?

Yes.

Always?

Always.

Okay.

Anthony,

let's not do too much more of that, okay?

- Sure. - Okay.

All right.

Look in your pocket.

Never mind.

What you're looking at could be the end of a particularly terrifying nightmare.

It isn't. It's the beginning.

Introducing Mr. John Valentine, air traveler.

His destination, the Twilight Zone.

Ladies and gentlemen, this storm has developed

a little faster than we had anticipated.

We're maneuvering about,

finding the smoothest spots with radar.

There's still a chance that we might hit some uh-ohs and whoopsy-daisies,

so I'm asking you to return to your seats and fasten your seat belts.

Please extinguish your cigarettes

or anything that might fly about in the aircraft,

look out the window and enjoy...

Hello in there.

Can you hear me?

Hello.

Oh, hi. It's a passenger that's been in there for a long time.

- Tall? Fair-haired? - Yeah. Yeah. Seat 4A.

Oh, yeah, Valentine.

I had a feeling about him. White-knuckle type.

How are we gonna get him out of the bathroom?

- Is there something wrong? - No, no, no. Everything's fine.

Mr. Valentine? May I help you?

Just a moment.

Dionne, why don't you knock? Something could be wrong.

Let's give him a few more minutes. Are you okay?

No problem.

Look, Mr. Valentine, I know how you feel. Lots of people are nervous about flying.

But if you look at statistics, you're safer up here than on the ground.

That's right. Safer than your own bathroom.

No, I'll be perfectly fine.

Oh, dear!

Everything's gonna be fine. We're gonna help you back to your seat.

Actually, the chances of drowning in the bathroom,

the bathtub, is something like 8/100,000 of a percent,

whereas air crash fatalities from last year's figures,

the number of passengers who traveled by air last year,

is equal to the population of the whole country.

That's...

That's 426,504,000... I forget the rest.

The people who died at home, they outnumber the people...

...much more than...

Whereas driving... Driving, forget it.

The percentage of people who die driving, 22, 23% of...

- Do I need my boarding pass? - No, you don't.

Watch your head. Watch your head.

That a boy.

I think I spilled my drink.

I think I spilled my drink.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Here, let me fix you up.

Let me put things away here.

Micro Chip Logic, The Liberation of the Left Brain.

- Science fiction fan, huh? - No, that's a textbook. Computers.

- Do you really read this stuff? - I wrote it.

Oh, my goodness, so you did.

I'll tell you what, we'll put this away, and you try to get some sleep.

No, no, no... I'd like you to leave the light on.

Okay. I'll take this. Okay? Come on.

Tell you what. I'll put this in a safe place.

Look, you're gonna be fine, so cheer up, okay?

Get some water.

Let's get this seat belt fastened.

- What? Is something wrong? - No, no, everything's fine.

Look, we're not supposed to do this, but I have these sedatives.

- They might help you sleep. - No, it's...

It's all right. I don't need anything. I'll be fine.

- They're very mild. - No. Thank you, but I'll be all right.

- This will cost you four bucks. - What did you say?

- Only kidding. - Well, I'm not kidding.

We've got to get you back to your seat now.

- I want to stay here! - Oh, no, no, no.

We've got to get you back here.

Here we go. Now let's fasten your seat belt.

- I don't need my seat belt fastened. - Oh, yes, you do.

We wouldn't want you to fall out.

- I'm not gonna fall out. - Not if you sit here, you won't.

- Okay? - Okay.

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

- Sure? - Yes, I'm sure.

Look, I'm Dionne. Anything you need, call me.

Well, thank you, but I'm sure I'll be fine.

Really, I'll be fine.

Okay.

You heard the Captain. No smoking.

N-O S-M-O-K-I-N-G.

No smoking!

There's something out there!

There's something moving, I saw it!

There's a man on the wing of this plane!

There was somebody out there.

- You've got to believe me! - I saw him. Green and slimy.

- Leave the poor man alone. - I'm only trying to help.

- You've got to humor them. - There was lightning.

At first I thought it was an animal, some kind of a bird or something,

but it was a man!

There were flames coming out of the engine,

and then a flash and then smoke!

Maybe it was a technician who was caught on the plane when it took off.

My God, how could he survive out there? The air is too thin.

The blast of the wind. It's... It's so cold.

It's impossible, isn't it?

My God. I feel so stupid.

Can you imagine?

A naked man crawling along the wing of an airplane at 35,000 feet?

There's no reason to feel embarrassed, Mr. Valentine.

- Just try to get some sleep. - It's amazing, the mind,

how the eyes can make you see something that isn't even there.

There's a man in seat 3F

that's completely freaking out.

Look, you're just gonna have to deal with him.

It's all right. You don't have to stay with me.

I know you have other passengers to attend to.

I'm happy to sit with you till you sleep.

No, it's probably easier for me if I'm alone.

- Are you sure? - I'm sure.

I'm drowsy already.

- You see? - Okay.

Get the handcuffs.

I'm all right! I'm all right! I'm all right! Don't touch me! Don't touch me!

FAA security. You want me to take care of this?

No. It's all right. He'll be all right.

You've got to land the plane! There's a man outside.

- Just take your seat. - You've got to let me outside.

Could everybody sit down? Sit down!

Get in your seats. I want all the passengers in their seats.

Yes, thank you very much.

Get this thing on the ground! You gotta get this thing onto the ground!

- You gotta get this on the ground! - Do you know where you are?

- Mr. Valentine! - Get us on the ground!

- Take care of the little girl. - Okay. Come here, darling.

- Handcuffs! Far out! - That's it. Relax.

Come on, honey, you belong over here.

- Mommy! - That a girl, that's it.

Mommy, a strange man, he's got me!

My God, what has she done this time?

Take deep breaths, Mr. Valentine.

Deep, long breaths.

Slow. Relax.

That's it. We're safe.

We're gonna have a little talk.

What seems to be the problem?

Will you look out that window, please?

What was I supposed to see out there?

Nothing.

Nothing at all. I'm sorry I shouted.

Mr. Valentine, you've got to see this my way.

I'm the First Officer of an airplane in a severe storm.

Now, I have an irrational passenger.

You're threatening the safety of this aircraft

and you're frightening the other passengers.

You either calm down or we're gonna handcuff you.

Listen, there's something wrong with this airplane!

I don't care what happens to me,

but if somebody doesn't do something about it, we're all gonna die!

- That's D-I-E, die! - You big silly!

You used to be a normal person!

Sit down, darling. Come on, okay?

Mr. Valentine, what do you think is wrong with this aircraft?

- There's an engine out. - Which one?

The one on the outside.

Outboard number one. It's out, isn't it?

- What makes you think that? - Never mind about that. It's true, isn't it?

Nine minutes ago, outboard number one was struck by lightning.

There was a flame-out, and we lost it.

- Lightning. - Lightning.

Mr. Valentine, this aircraft has four engines.

The possibility of us losing one of the remaining three is remote in the extreme.

You're sure it was just lightning?

Absolutely.

Listen, we're gonna be landing in about 20 minutes.

There is the highest probability that we'll survive this flight.

Okay.

We'll see you downstairs in 20 minutes. Sit down. Buckle them up!

Are you okay?

No, no, no, no.

I love you.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee...

Mommy. Mommy. Mommy.

What are you doing now? That's very bad manners, you know!

- Didn't anyone ever teach you manners? - Come on. Come on.

God damn!

He's got a gun!

And that's exactly how it happened. I'm practically a hero.

Would you believe that?

...weather broke, we would never have gotten this baby down.

A hell of a night.

We got the storm, we got the flame-out, and then that freak show.

Not to mention the gun. The gun was awful.

He didn't have a gun. No, no, no, he didn't have a gun. It was my gun.

It was my gun. I'm FAA. I'm authorized to have a gun.

He was so crazy. He smashed the window. What was he trying to do? Get out?

It's claustrophobia! They'd rather fall to the ground than stay aboard.

I've seen it happen. I've seen it!

I knew he was frightened, but I didn't think he was crazy.

But, Dionne, he said he saw something on the wing.

Max, we lost number one. Check out number two, will you?

All right. Somebody give me a light. I want the gear pin.

Let's check these tires.

Franco, let me know what's going on with these flaps.

I want to know if there's any fuel leaking out of this baby.

And get these people out of here.

Max! Max! Max!

Holy Toledo!

Hey, you guys, what happened up there?

That's enough of that noise, huh?

Who needs it anyway? How about a little music?

Sure.

Hey, that's... That's...

I love Creedence.

So you had a big scare up there, huh?

Oh, yeah.

Want to see something really scary?

There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man.

It is the middle ground between light and shadow,

between science and superstition,

and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge.

This is the dimension of imagination.

It is an area which we call the Twilight Zone.

English

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