Original subtitles

Flemish day and had sat for two weeks well I'll be glad to give you some money

for food can't keep food down never could

I'll do anything I can to help you

anything oh thank

may I be permitted to introduce myself my name is Aramis I am a vampire overt

of course you know that I say what happened your fangs

oh they're retractable when not in use oh it's alright I didn't buy deep you

won't become one of us it was the best blood I have ever tasted and from such a

noble source you are the great arch Edwin Hayes the writer of those

magnificent horror stories you are my favorite author I wouldn't have thought

you needed to read horror stories so you do yourself an injustice everybody likes

to read about themselves and their own kind

yes well I'm glad Rapinoe helped you I'm glad you like my blood my books but I

must be on my way oh no I can't hear of such a thing you

want more of my blood no no no you misunderstand me I owe you something I

want to help you to repay you no it's quite all right thank you very

much I'm glad using a service well I can get your material for your next book

material what sort of material I will take you to a place where my friends for

gather there are vampires werewolves ghouls every kind of monster you could

ever imagine and some far beyond the imagining of mere mortals there you will

find stories of such blood-curdling terror that it will make your toes curl

and your hair reach up towards the sky where is this place it's just a short

distance it's called the monster club

okay my

Wolfgang

I have to use play Type B is awesome but I'll have to make do with that comment

type o divine messages tomato juice

I could looking in the monster nation mr. wheeler wants to meet you he's

waiting for the moon with a bison touch what

you hear a midnight crush no you can trust

Thank You of them now this is present enough but it doesn't sustain us but to

get real nourishment we have to take our food directly from the source and it becomes more difficult constantly people

are so well-educated these days it's all those horror films and television

everybody knows about garlic and steaks through the heart yes we all have our

cross to bear

I'd rather you didn't use that word oh that's a monsters genealogical chart you

see first we have the primate monsters vampires werewolves and ghouls now a

vampire and the werewolf would produce a weird vamp but a werewolf in a ghoul

would produce a weird goo but a vampire in the ghoul would produce a bamboo a

weird goo and we're vamp would produce a shedding now a we're goo in the VAM goo

would produce a Maddy but a will famine of van ghoul would produce a Randy now

if a shaggy were to mate with a Randy for a Maddy the results would be amok

amok frankly that's just a polite name for a mongrel you know it's it's quite simple really

all you have to do is remember the basic rules of monster them vampires up will

woes hunt ghouls tear shad ease lick Maddie's Jean mocks blow but shadmocks

only whistle that monks if for mock worse mate with any of the other hybrids

their offsprings would be called shad ma and they only whistle well they don't do

it very often some do terrifying or but you should see

the results of her shadmocks whistling chatbox are the lowest in the monster

higher yet they have this power what happened on a shed luck whistles I heard

of a man once who saw the results of a shadmocks with that's all he saw and yet

yeah

he's been like that for the past six months if we only knew what was going on

behind those staring eyes we might be able to help him he was found under

extraordinary and inexplicable circumstances

anything nothing have used to us maybe we ought to profit jobs and be slaves

all our lives know what we need to the big one one big break someone we can take to all these work good enough money

we might even get married oh you're selling antiquary requires

secretary to help catalog collection and preparing you for some of those old food

about stuff that's worth thousands go melt it down untraceable not very likely

these are free enough money

hmm a brick house

mr. Raven I'm Angela Angela Jones I wrote to you about your advertisement

yes of course please do come in my study is this way they all have to be catalogued before we begin there's

something I must tell you some people find me difficult and impossible to work

for why did you beat up your secret tryst no I I pride myself on being a very easy task master it's just

I can't do it how did he turn you down he wanted me all right and the house is

full of good stuff but the way he looked there's something

terrifying about him full of good stuff I'm not going back

how do you get someone to clean this place I can't but I can't ask people to

come here you have no idea how hard it was for me to to advertise for you I

must never go near people I can never go outside these grounds

don't you ever lonely only you knew the academic my loneliness some of my

relation visit me from time to time but they're different why can't you go what is all the noise the traffic I might

I didn't mean to frighten they're my only friends soon though I'll learn to

get to know you soon they'll accept you as a friend

Wow I must get to work

I've always been fascinated by the things of the dead it's probably

something to do with my ancestry and then the living have always

I used to wear a mask once it was no use it just made people curious they had to

see what was underneath then it's much better to get over the shock right at

the beginning then they might even grow accustomed

should always have flowers masses of flowers

you'll always be surrounded with flowers

the birds will expect their big sister yes yes you're right I mustn't neglect

my other friends

you've no idea what meeting you has been

what are you playing what's going on let's forget it check the whole thing in

you're afraid of him you said yourself he was a weekly what

can he do I don't know at least get hold of something so i can see what sort of

stuff he's got get it valued do like it you're in love with him or something no

he terrifies me

now

this sort of stuffs almost impossible defense it's too specialized and we need

a talented for the meltdown Valley to be worth anything at all so we give up yeah

we've invested too much to chuck it in now Biffy snow you you almost certainly

pays for that stuff in cash you must have a safe some way to keep it handy

probably keep some of the small really valuable articles in there too

does he come out of his room yet I haven't seen him for days good then you have plenty of opportunity

to look for the safe

Angela look it used to belong to princess Sahara she was said to be the

most beautiful woman of her day that was some three thousand years ago say oh you

must hide your coloring matches your eyes your skin

you should keep all those things in the bank I don't like thanks you have to see

people know my things are much better

here with me Angela will you marry me I

realized my appearance and everything

but you could still love me

we've got it all planned do it don't worry everything will be just remember the plan play along with him get him to

give you the ring as an engagement present and then remember the combination when he opens the safe you

may be so very very happy of course you may have the ring it's only fitting it

should adorn a living hand after so many centuries such a beautiful hand I I have

something of a confession I must make to you I am a sad walk that suppose you

know what that is if I ever whistle well I must never whistle no matter what

happens

you must beat some of my relations they could explain the situation to you much better than I ever can party an

engagement party it can be in fancy dress everyone can wear masks my

relations are a bit much to take all at once that way you can have a chance to get used to them gradually I like

dressing up on spite of my relations in spite of everything you could still love

me

it is a crime to hide such beauty but here we must all be mastered

I love may I present my great-uncle Uriah great uncle may I present my bride-to-be this angelajones

the money in the other things that don't matter to me

take them do what you want with them give them to him so ever you please

you could still love me oh no no don't touch me that's all I ever wanted from

you you must even say that I could never love you

but did you get it

you still love me

there is nothing sadder than the agonized grief of it and the hottest

bump they're playing my song

hey fix me a drink and making a Bloody Mary don't forget to spike in my

favorite record you're so vain you come from Pennsylvania I'm from Transylvania

see

down

jazz

yeah

just

the club secretary

oh then turn producer for like they all it's a great honor for me to be invited

here tonight to show you an excerpt from my latest film it is I assure you the picture very close to my heart for his

based on my own childhood but in a modern setting

lower-budget I was born and brought up here in London I can't say I am ever

felt the urge to follow in my father's profession you see he was a night worker

who spent the daylight hours asleep he needed peace and quiet but as a

naturally shy child I too was glad we lived in a secluded

house and avoided our neighbours but even the Shia Sutra must go to school my

mother may the earth lay lightly on her bones was always determined

I should look my best

now remember Oh God never speak to strangers

now Manfred you must hurry or you'll miss the 5:30 what's the circus Oh quite

right my dear your business is so messy I shouldn't like to think of you being

taken for a butcher oh I've worked during tonight I must get my sleep

are you of it oh no my son I am NOT of it but I suppose I do have something to

do with the food trade i lightens the burden and also we have too much and

receive certain nutritional benefits in return a hip and we suck em in the

fielding feed without greed set has always been asleep the rush hour trains and say after theatre cards provide a

rich harvest for someone who knows his business

mr. Robers becomes a lookout was a guinea to be squat

be fair of men carrying diodon hystrix I do not think there there's any need to

reveal the problems of your profession a gentleman does not mix his business and

her life sufficient for Linton to know that he has an unusual father who loves

his family love him

boom

we've got to swim the thing will see you crying

now you mustn't worry about those horrid children teasing you you see you must

remember that you are better than they are back in the old country

where we came from your father was a nobleman

he's a count which means of course that I am a countess well then you must be a

bike

I don't I'm better than all of you I'm a five-count

what did you say I said I'm a Viking my lord

your grace you think we'd children what's going on here

oh come on I'll I'll walk home with you and see that they don't harm you

merciful heavens why not my mother told me never to speak to strangers but I'm

not a stranger I'm a clergyman would you like a caramel

no thank you I can't let anyone come to my home why

not I don't know there must be a reason I think my father escaped from somewhere

in the middle of Europe perhaps he's hiding why were those limbs of Satan so

angry with you I said I was of I can't mmm is your father a nobleman I hardly

seen my father he sleeps all day and goes out at night where does he sleep

downstairs I've never been there why don't you go down there one day he might

wake up early and play with you waited her mother goes out then she needn't

know

I'm just going to the shops now you remember it's not to let anyone in while I'm away

Armand

we are the B Squad sunny the blini Special Branch concerned with blood

crimes we have sworn to eradicate the curse of vampirism from this land sir

he's getting dark the boy said his father slept downstairs look for a

cellar your father has been the most difficult case of my career I've hunted

him for months he's been clever very clever but now I've got him down he

should witness the end

I'll get an ambulance

you'll need more than an ambulance my husband didn't just take a tricular

refreshment he bit deep do you know what that means

you are one of his kind now you will have to be staked fire own men she's

right sir the virus is in you come moonlight you'll be on the rampage we'll

have to do our duty sir

you are talking to Pickering a departmental agent head of the blini why

I've staked over 2,000 facts you can't mean you wouldn't want us chasing you

through the underground sir wouldn't be respectful sir no if you could just see

your way to layin out nice and flat like well Envy I'll do instill your ticker in

a jiffy where would you be most comfortable

Watson stretcher

well thank you for a very pleasant evening I really must go the other

segment is about to connect

beautiful

yes that girl there's the Buffett chocolate

georgina monsters you know that's a Hume a cross between a ghoul and the human

being as well as mating with each other monsters not to make human being results

in nearly always disastrous do it what do they do they pursue like that Hume

goes evil Harold though apart from an unfortunate appetite for carrion which

they get from the side of I believe to hear it over their relations one of them

told me an intriguing story once it started with you

again it's a wrap last night I want you to print three eleven and thirteen I

suppose I'll have to sort the whole mess out in the cutting room as usual ah Sam can you have a look at these pictures of

the new locations that we've where you looked here here and here well what's wrong with this area it

looks far more remote far more promising I want a strange eerie lonely half

deserted village in which to make an atmospheric horror film you really

expect to find such a place surrounded by a motorway a power station and a

group of five-star hotels I'll go out this weekend and I'll find the place

myself

know anyone here

I'd like to use your telephone no telephone here but perhaps you could help me you see I'd like to use this

village for a film a film for the cinema

but whose permission do I need who runs things around here around the elders how

do I contact him he'll be here soon

don't worry about it see I'll have my production office or oh man I'll talk to my argument when I get back to London

tonight you not get cannot do far not safe for not you stay here

did it be there vermin I lightly then serving real monsters

they are that may be safe

it's someone directly to the nearest garage ah

well surely you can suggest something soon be dark thanks - dog stay here

Dadda say you eat this

rabbits too I cook what's your name

you mean our Michael

that is keeper of him

do all people on the outside wear clothes like yours outside we're only a

couple of miles on the main highway an hour and my car would take it to a big

city these only clothes we have clothing boxes

boxes all come from offices

taking work with hands to make that four boxes or were you people get these boxes

in ground on gathering night all come from boxes clothes would food or from

boxes no more boxes left now all come

I not like others I hyungo my mother from outside when I born

she'd be put into box then dug up for great eating Dada says she caught in mist like you and motorcar you know are

they gonna do with me

tell me beat me tell me you're not gonna let it go until you do we must get our

feet

I know I've gotta get out of here why dad they're not going in there

fold down of going there can you light them

why younggu can going I come when I can help you

Almighty God hear the prayer of your miserable servant and granted the power

to set down the unthinkable evil I have witnessed we should have destroyed the

first one crushed it underfoot burnt his foul carcass and tossed the ashes to the

wind as it squatted behind a tombstone and did jib upon us but I may I be

forgiven did implore mercy for the creature I took it into my house washed away the filth filth the like of which I

had never before in my life behold I clad it in clean raiment and laid it on a soft bed where did I send merciful God

for should we not succor the afflicted give good for evil then one night when

the moon was full I saw it cursed be the eyes that seen the ears that hear feeding in the churchyard mud on the

hands sitting on a pile of Earth

boy we chased it away but for the one we drove away 12 did return and they danced

around the village bands to mark the place

even as I write I can hear them

not to beat me because I help you why not go back if you go you'll not be

left here it's nonsense when I ask you I want you to go with me

and live the life a pretty girl you take me outside wear clothes like yours

really take me outside right all underground underground

do you know about the underground hardest say there is much good eating

underground

don't kill if hit head they call many animals that way

our next nothing more they wait for elders to come for great eating does not

like us have much wisdom you escape when elders are you what were

they this night

than when they run and stay beside me

and stop them

list eldest man look

I

broke that wouldn't that hit rabbit rabbit died someone that broke I die

soon

see outside pretty close I'll go and get some help it'd be

alright

there's a village it's a village up there a villager

we'll have the fuel take me to the free station

where are you going this is the way to them

stop don't worry sir we saw the supply wagon we'll take care of it

supply way it's just behind that car

you see we always give the elders a police escort when they return to love

the lives of monsters well it would make a good story wouldn't it it's so moral no nudity no sex a little violence

perhaps but now really I must go home no I've taken a liking to you but you promised no no no I'm going to

put you up for membership but I'm not a monster that's it you're the greatest

monster of them all Oh mr. club secretary I want to propose

my friend here as a member of this August assembly yes but can we truly

call this a monster club if we do not boast amongst our membership a single

member of the human race son sir what can he do in the past 60 years Hulme's

have exterminated over a hundred and fifty million of their own kind no

effort has been spared to reach this astronomical figure and the methods that

they have used must demand our unstinted admiration

you know Humes began with certain very serious disadvantages but these they

overcame with wonderful ingenuity not having a Fang or a claw or even the

whistle worth talking about they invented guns and tanks and bombs and

aeroplanes and extermination camps and poison gas and daggers and swords and

bayonets and booby traps and atomic bombs and flying missiles submarines warships aircraft carriers and motorcars

they have even perfected a process whereby they can spread a lethal disease

on any part of this planet not to say anything about nuclear power oh oh

during their short history you know humans have subjected other

Toomes to death by burning hanging decapitation strangulation

electrocution shooting drowning crushing racking disembowelling and other methods

far far too revolting for the delicate stomachs of this August descent

I never realized he was so talented we don't like to boast I celebrate the

installation of a new member may we hear our song

I was

through the mirror there's a stake through your heart

see

another sinister night another vampire girl give me on the face

down at the monster club

you