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0
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1
00:04:13,752 --> 00:04:16,171
All right, everybody out.
2
00:04:17,380 --> 00:04:20,550
Welcome to the neighbourhood,
shamus.
3
00:04:20,759 --> 00:04:22,802
Move on, punk.
4
00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,097
All right, get out!
5
00:04:29,559 --> 00:04:33,897
All right, take it easy!
What are you trying to do?
6
00:04:41,237 --> 00:04:42,864
Get out.
7
00:04:53,541 --> 00:04:56,586
All right, come on, get out.
Here we go.
8
00:04:57,670 --> 00:04:59,672
I was emptying the garbage.
9
00:04:59,881 --> 00:05:02,925
- Go on, get inside.
- Move on, punk.
10
00:05:05,595 --> 00:05:08,806
What are you trying to prove?
You a tough guy?
11
00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:10,892
Butt out, Damon!
12
00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:16,814
Come in.
13
00:05:21,277 --> 00:05:24,989
- I�s you. Come in, sit down.
- Thank you, sir.
14
00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,953
I want to talk to you.
Well, I see you've been initiated.
15
00:05:31,162 --> 00:05:34,123
I'd like to put in for the Purple Heart.
16
00:05:34,331 --> 00:05:36,959
- Some evening?
- It wasn't so bad.
17
00:05:37,168 --> 00:05:39,879
- Quite a rumble.
- I've seen worse.
18
00:05:40,087 --> 00:05:43,924
I've noticed. Your record shows
you've spent three years
19
00:05:44,133 --> 00:05:48,596
working in neighbourhoods like ours,
so-called slum areas.
20
00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:52,641
- Tha�s right.
- You've had your skull fractured,
21
00:05:52,850 --> 00:05:57,938
your arm broken twice, lost three teeth
and been stabbed four times.
22
00:05:58,147 --> 00:06:00,482
- No, sir...
- By young hoodlums
23
00:06:00,858 --> 00:06:04,194
who you tried unsuccessfully
to reform. Correct?
24
00:06:04,403 --> 00:06:08,782
- Not exactly, sir.
- Damon, le�s get to the point.
25
00:06:08,991 --> 00:06:13,704
You've worked as an emissary
for a would-be group of reformers
26
00:06:13,912 --> 00:06:18,625
who think juvenile delinquency can be
curtailed by treating them with kid gloves.
27
00:06:18,834 --> 00:06:21,753
- Just a minute.
- Wait. I'm talking.
28
00:06:21,962 --> 00:06:27,217
If I wait until you finish talking,
Captain, I'll be up for a pension!
29
00:06:29,136 --> 00:06:33,307
- Well put, Mike. Go ahead. Talk.
- Thank you, sir.
30
00:06:35,225 --> 00:06:37,853
I know you wanted me
in your precinct
31
00:06:38,061 --> 00:06:41,732
as much as you like Dillinger.
But give me a chance.
32
00:06:41,940 --> 00:06:44,776
You've had opportunities,
but your plan failed.
33
00:06:44,985 --> 00:06:50,073
It never had a chance to grow.
Somebody always stepped on my head.
34
00:06:50,282 --> 00:06:53,827
I don't mean the delinquents.
You know how I�s been.
35
00:06:54,035 --> 00:06:56,246
I�s been the brass upstairs.
36
00:06:56,454 --> 00:06:59,374
- They think I'm nuts.
- Aren't you?
37
00:06:59,583 --> 00:07:03,420
You can handle kids
without belting their brains out.
38
00:07:03,628 --> 00:07:10,051
Am I nuts because I think that there
might be just one slob worth saving?
39
00:07:10,260 --> 00:07:16,016
While you're trying to save that one,
99 others are blowing up city hall!
40
00:07:16,224 --> 00:07:19,811
The main thing
to worry about is the majority!
41
00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,063
Tha�s where you're wrong.
42
00:07:22,272 --> 00:07:24,816
Real bad ones, you can't change.
43
00:07:25,108 --> 00:07:29,571
But that one good one,
if given a chance, can multiply.
44
00:07:29,779 --> 00:07:33,241
If that happens,
every decent community benefits.
45
00:07:33,449 --> 00:07:36,619
Damon, you are nuts.
46
00:07:36,828 --> 00:07:39,789
- I think.
- Maybe so, Captain.
47
00:07:40,957 --> 00:07:44,794
But once I was on the short end
of those 99-to-1 odds.
48
00:07:45,003 --> 00:07:50,174
It took a policeman to help me
and I'd like to pay him back.
49
00:07:50,383 --> 00:07:54,137
OK, I�s your skull.
I'll stay out of your way.
50
00:07:54,345 --> 00:07:56,556
- Thank you!
- For 30 days.
51
00:07:56,764 --> 00:08:02,770
If you don't come up with a saved soul,
you'll wind up policing the library.
52
00:08:02,979 --> 00:08:04,605
Yes, sir.
53
00:08:04,814 --> 00:08:08,943
- Yeah?
- Ready for the show-up, Captain.
54
00:08:09,152 --> 00:08:12,321
Your guinea pigs
are ready for exposure.
55
00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:16,367
Le�s find the one with the soulful eyes.
56
00:08:17,159 --> 00:08:20,955
Wise punks. Tough punks.
57
00:08:21,163 --> 00:08:24,250
You think you're getting away
with something.
58
00:08:24,458 --> 00:08:28,170
I'm gonna give you a big fat message.
59
00:08:28,379 --> 00:08:31,424
You ain't getting away with nothing.
60
00:08:31,632 --> 00:08:35,428
We're hip to all of you,
and one of these days,
61
00:08:35,636 --> 00:08:41,809
I�s gonna be the long, slow ride
up that dirty river.
62
00:08:42,017 --> 00:08:43,602
Sing Sing,
63
00:08:43,811 --> 00:08:48,149
where the nights are long,
cold and miserable,
64
00:08:48,357 --> 00:08:50,442
where the food is slop
65
00:08:50,651 --> 00:08:53,863
and every time you open
your filthy mouths,
66
00:08:54,071 --> 00:08:59,994
the guards are gonna bust every bone
in your stupid, crummy heads.
67
00:09:00,202 --> 00:09:06,667
Sing Sing, with its solitary confinement
and the electric chair.
68
00:09:07,876 --> 00:09:09,878
Wait a second.
69
00:09:10,087 --> 00:09:12,589
I didn't do nothing.
70
00:09:12,798 --> 00:09:15,592
I was just taking out a garbage can.
71
00:09:17,386 --> 00:09:22,307
I don't wanna go to the...
Please don't make me go...
72
00:09:22,516 --> 00:09:28,814
I was taking out the garbage can.
I don't wanna go to the electric chair.
73
00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:30,899
Tha�s terrible.
74
00:09:31,108 --> 00:09:34,444
Let me out.
I ain't gonna eat this slop.
75
00:09:34,653 --> 00:09:36,154
I don't wanna go to jail.
76
00:09:36,363 --> 00:09:38,949
What, for emptying a garbage pail?
77
00:09:39,157 --> 00:09:42,953
Please! I'm too tall to die.
78
00:09:44,162 --> 00:09:46,248
Help me out, Monk, do something.
79
00:09:46,456 --> 00:09:48,291
Shut up.
80
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:52,504
OK, I won't say nothing.
Whatever you say, I won't say a word.
81
00:09:52,712 --> 00:09:54,923
- Shut up!
- I didn't even say a word.
82
00:09:55,132 --> 00:09:57,843
If you tell me to shut up,
I keep my mouth shut.
83
00:09:58,051 --> 00:10:01,805
What, am I gonna get
myself in trouble?
84
00:10:02,973 --> 00:10:05,433
Tonight you get a break.
85
00:10:05,725 --> 00:10:09,354
It just happens this is
"Be Kind To Rats" week.
86
00:10:09,563 --> 00:10:11,898
We got orders to let you go.
87
00:10:12,107 --> 00:10:16,987
But the next time,
I�s gonna be that long, slow ride.
88
00:10:17,195 --> 00:10:20,865
Go on, get out of here, all of you.
Crawl back in your holes.
89
00:10:21,074 --> 00:10:24,744
Thanks a lot, Sergeant.
Boy, I appreciate it, Sergeant.
90
00:10:24,953 --> 00:10:28,248
- I�s all right.
- Thank you for letting me go.
91
00:10:28,456 --> 00:10:31,084
- I�s all right.
- I didn't wanna go to jail.
92
00:10:31,292 --> 00:10:33,378
- Get him out!
- You're a terrific cop.
93
00:10:33,586 --> 00:10:35,922
- Get him out!
- Thank you very much.
94
00:10:36,131 --> 00:10:38,383
He's a wonderful sergeant.
95
00:10:38,591 --> 00:10:41,427
He's not gonna put me in jail.
I'm not gonna...
96
00:10:41,636 --> 00:10:43,930
I didn't wanna hang...
97
00:10:48,059 --> 00:10:51,229
- Did you find your pigeon?
- I�s pretty obvious.
98
00:10:51,437 --> 00:10:54,148
- Him?
- The grateful one. Wha�s his name?
99
00:10:54,357 --> 00:10:56,109
- Sidney.
- Sidney what?
100
00:10:56,317 --> 00:11:00,113
Pythias. He works as
an apprentice janitor down the street.
101
00:11:00,321 --> 00:11:04,784
- Sidney Pythias?
- Well, wha�s the matter?
102
00:11:04,992 --> 00:11:09,163
Well, what do you know about that!
Mike Damon.
103
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:11,624
Sidney Pythias.
Damon and Pythias.
104
00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,626
Remember your Greek mythology.
105
00:11:13,835 --> 00:11:18,005
I never even passed algebra
and I ain't interested in mythology.
106
00:11:18,214 --> 00:11:21,133
I wanna know if you're really
gonna go to work on him.
107
00:11:21,342 --> 00:11:23,177
Yes, sir. I am, sir.
108
00:11:23,386 --> 00:11:26,055
- OK, Damon. Good luck.
- Thank you, sir.
109
00:11:26,264 --> 00:11:30,977
- You'll need it!
- Yes, sir.
110
00:11:33,521 --> 00:11:36,315
Hey, Monk! Fellas, wait a second.
Let me explain.
111
00:11:36,524 --> 00:11:39,902
- Why don't you go away?
- I just wanna explain.
112
00:11:40,111 --> 00:11:43,072
I was taking out the garbage cans.
It brings ants.
113
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,991
Hey, Sidney? Look.
114
00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:50,204
Why don't you stick with your garbage
and mops and stay away from me?
115
00:11:50,412 --> 00:11:54,917
You're a professional jinx.
Now, go home and scare your tenants.
116
00:12:09,556 --> 00:12:11,517
Hi, Mr Kellin. Could I help you?
117
00:12:11,725 --> 00:12:14,353
No. Never mind, Sidney.
118
00:12:14,561 --> 00:12:17,272
Thank you very much.
Never mind.
119
00:12:17,481 --> 00:12:19,691
Yeah, but I just thought...
120
00:12:29,076 --> 00:12:31,245
Hi, Mr Fox. Could I give you a hand?
121
00:12:31,453 --> 00:12:35,040
No, thanks, Sidney.
Thank you just the same.
122
00:12:35,249 --> 00:12:37,918
Some other time, maybe.
123
00:12:47,094 --> 00:12:51,515
Hiya, Sidney. Hey, you got a minute?
I'd like to talk to you.
124
00:13:15,497 --> 00:13:18,458
Well, am I in trouble!
125
00:14:31,614 --> 00:14:33,866
Wha�s going on here?
126
00:14:42,875 --> 00:14:45,628
- Sidney!
- Yeah.
127
00:14:49,090 --> 00:14:51,509
- Wha�s going on up there?
- Oh, nothing.
128
00:14:51,717 --> 00:14:54,261
I was... Hello, Mr Herman.
129
00:14:54,470 --> 00:14:56,514
- Wha�s going on?
- An air raid.
130
00:14:56,722 --> 00:15:00,059
- What kind of a janitor are you?
- Well, I'm...
131
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,270
- There ain't no hot and cold water!
- I'm trying.
132
00:15:03,479 --> 00:15:05,814
Six rooms, three baths,
$30 a month I pay.
133
00:15:06,023 --> 00:15:08,651
- I can't get no service!
- I'm awful sorry.
134
00:15:08,859 --> 00:15:10,903
- What about the dumb waiter?
- What?
135
00:15:11,111 --> 00:15:14,198
- The dumb waiter don't work.
- I fixed it...
136
00:15:14,406 --> 00:15:16,200
It don't work. Get it fixed.
137
00:15:16,408 --> 00:15:18,452
- Fix the plumbing and heater!
- No.
138
00:15:18,661 --> 00:15:21,205
- What? Sidney!
- I mean, yes, sir.
139
00:15:21,413 --> 00:15:23,582
- Sidney!
- Yes, Sister Merman...
140
00:15:23,791 --> 00:15:28,003
- You making fun of me?
- No, Mr Herman. I�s just that I'm...
141
00:15:28,212 --> 00:15:32,424
A guy got enough trouble. A nothing
like you has to tell me what to do!
142
00:15:32,633 --> 00:15:36,220
Wait a minute. Don't call me a nothing.
I don't like that.
143
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:40,098
Well, I don't like that.
144
00:15:40,849 --> 00:15:44,228
I beg your pardon. I'm sorry.
145
00:15:44,436 --> 00:15:46,480
From now on, I�ll be Mr Nothing!
146
00:15:46,688 --> 00:15:48,774
I didn't mean to make you sore...
147
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:53,945
Go on, get out of here!
Do something! Fix something!
148
00:15:58,617 --> 00:16:02,454
"Go on, get out of here!
Fix something! Do something!
149
00:16:02,662 --> 00:16:05,332
"Do something!"
150
00:16:16,134 --> 00:16:17,928
Hello, Sidney.
151
00:16:20,472 --> 00:16:21,932
Hello.
152
00:16:22,724 --> 00:16:24,559
How've you been?
153
00:16:25,226 --> 00:16:26,853
Fine.
154
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:31,983
Will you empty this for me?
155
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,402
Sure.
156
00:16:34,611 --> 00:16:38,281
- Thank you, Sidney.
- Sure.
157
00:17:46,057 --> 00:17:47,683
Mr Crow?
158
00:17:55,274 --> 00:17:56,776
Mr Crow?
159
00:18:52,956 --> 00:18:55,792
And when you rock 'n' roll
And do that thing
160
00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:57,919
Brown dog, brown dog, rock 'n' roll
161
00:18:58,128 --> 00:19:01,173
You're gonna brown dog rock it
Your brown dog's rolling
162
00:19:01,381 --> 00:19:03,842
You roll and you rock
And the brown dog too
163
00:19:04,051 --> 00:19:07,763
Hello, Mr Crow.
I hope you'll excuse me, sir.
164
00:19:07,971 --> 00:19:11,892
- I was just playing your broom.
- Tha�s my theremin!
165
00:19:12,100 --> 00:19:14,936
- Your what?
- I suppose you came to see it.
166
00:19:15,145 --> 00:19:17,689
- Yes, tha�s a nice theremin.
- Not that.
167
00:19:17,898 --> 00:19:21,067
You know what I mean.
168
00:19:21,776 --> 00:19:25,113
- You mean X-93?
- Right! I�s finished.
169
00:19:25,322 --> 00:19:27,115
Where is it?
170
00:19:28,158 --> 00:19:31,161
I'm so excited, I can't wait to see it.
171
00:19:34,831 --> 00:19:38,626
I thought the X-93 was your new
invention to cure the common cold.
172
00:19:38,835 --> 00:19:41,796
- It came out different.
- What did it come out as?
173
00:19:42,005 --> 00:19:43,506
What does it look like?
174
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:46,801
- A spaceship?
- Right! For frogs.
175
00:19:47,010 --> 00:19:49,345
- Frogs?
- Did you ever stop to realise,
176
00:19:49,554 --> 00:19:54,684
when the Earth is destroyed, people will
escape to the moon in rocket ships?
177
00:19:54,893 --> 00:19:59,147
What about the poor little frogs?
How are they going to get away?
178
00:19:59,355 --> 00:20:02,692
I'll tell you how. In my frog ship.
179
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:06,613
The remarkable thing about this is
it holds one million frogs.
180
00:20:06,821 --> 00:20:09,657
Did you hear what I said?
One million frogs!
181
00:20:09,866 --> 00:20:11,284
Tha�s terrific.
182
00:20:11,492 --> 00:20:15,371
Even if I only charge them
$3 apiece, I'll be rich!
183
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:17,540
Well, tha�s really wonderful.
184
00:20:17,749 --> 00:20:20,168
- Did you hear the phone?
- Rich!
185
00:20:21,294 --> 00:20:24,005
If only I didn't have to pay
the withholding.
186
00:20:24,213 --> 00:20:28,009
- That is a shame.
- I want you to take this.
187
00:20:28,217 --> 00:20:30,428
Study it closely.
188
00:20:30,636 --> 00:20:33,014
When we start to build
the working model,
189
00:20:33,222 --> 00:20:35,224
we'll work hand in hand.
190
00:20:35,433 --> 00:20:37,894
- I...
- Don't worry, I have another one.
191
00:20:38,102 --> 00:20:41,439
- Well, I was...
- Good luck, son!
192
00:20:41,647 --> 00:20:47,403
Thank you very much and I'll take
very good care of this so that the...
193
00:20:47,612 --> 00:20:51,073
And I'll guard this, and I can...
194
00:20:51,282 --> 00:20:53,284
To the... And all those frogs.
195
00:20:53,492 --> 00:20:57,163
Tha�s the best thing you can make...
A whole lot with...
196
00:20:57,371 --> 00:20:59,749
With the little frogs, Mr Crow.
197
00:20:59,957 --> 00:21:03,753
Rich! Do you hear? Rich!
198
00:21:12,303 --> 00:21:14,096
Hiya, Sidney.
199
00:21:14,722 --> 00:21:16,891
What you got there, a model airplane?
200
00:21:17,099 --> 00:21:19,810
- No, not exactly.
- Can I look at it?
201
00:21:20,019 --> 00:21:22,479
- Sure.
- Attaboy.
202
00:21:22,688 --> 00:21:26,233
- I�s kind of bulky, isn't it?
- Well, it should be.
203
00:21:26,442 --> 00:21:30,154
- I�s got a million frogs in it.
- That... I beg your pardon?
204
00:21:30,362 --> 00:21:34,825
What I mean is, I�s not an ordinary
spaceship. I�s for frogs.
205
00:21:35,034 --> 00:21:36,535
Sure, Sidney.
206
00:21:36,744 --> 00:21:38,704
When the world comes to an end,
207
00:21:38,912 --> 00:21:41,623
how are the frogs gonna get
to the moon? In this.
208
00:21:41,832 --> 00:21:43,292
That makes sense.
209
00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:47,796
You can get these in stores all over
the world. Garages, butcher shops.
210
00:21:48,005 --> 00:21:51,925
They'll make millions of these things
and... Are you puzzled?
211
00:21:52,134 --> 00:21:54,094
No.
212
00:21:54,595 --> 00:21:59,016
Hey, Sidney, wait a minute.
Can I talk to you a second?
213
00:21:59,224 --> 00:22:01,143
What do you wanna talk about?
214
00:22:01,351 --> 00:22:05,439
Well... Look, I�s kind of personal.
Could we go someplace private?
215
00:22:05,647 --> 00:22:08,191
- I didn't do nothing.
- Nobody said you did.
216
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:11,111
You got someplace
we can talk private-like?
217
00:22:11,319 --> 00:22:15,323
- I got a lot of work to do.
- Come on. I�ll only take a second.
218
00:22:18,034 --> 00:22:19,953
OK, come on.
219
00:22:37,637 --> 00:22:39,681
Thank you.
220
00:22:41,933 --> 00:22:43,977
Hey, this is very nice.
221
00:22:44,185 --> 00:22:47,480
- It is?
- You've got it fixed up real nice.
222
00:22:47,689 --> 00:22:49,816
- You really like it?
- I sure do.
223
00:22:50,024 --> 00:22:54,612
I�s a little crowded, but then...
Well, after all, you are alone.
224
00:22:54,821 --> 00:22:56,823
You ain't kidding.
225
00:23:10,295 --> 00:23:13,006
Pull up a chair, kid, sit down.
226
00:23:15,049 --> 00:23:17,760
Come on, pull up a chair.
227
00:23:17,969 --> 00:23:20,638
- Well, what do you...?
- Come on.
228
00:23:28,730 --> 00:23:30,815
- Smoke?
- No, I never do.
229
00:23:31,023 --> 00:23:33,067
Tha�s good.
230
00:23:34,735 --> 00:23:37,280
Sidney, my name is Mike Damon.
231
00:23:37,488 --> 00:23:40,950
- How do you do, Officer Damon?
- No. Mike.
232
00:23:41,159 --> 00:23:43,119
Hello, Officer Mike.
233
00:23:44,370 --> 00:23:45,872
Sidney...
234
00:23:51,919 --> 00:23:55,214
I wanna help you.
235
00:23:55,423 --> 00:23:57,675
Can you fix a dumb waiter?
236
00:23:57,883 --> 00:24:00,928
- That isn't what I had in mind.
- What about plumbing?
237
00:24:01,137 --> 00:24:03,180
- I have a stove that...
- No, Sidney.
238
00:24:03,389 --> 00:24:06,517
I'm not here for the fixtures.
I'm here to work on you.
239
00:24:06,726 --> 00:24:10,271
Work on me?
Why? I'm not out of order.
240
00:24:10,479 --> 00:24:12,898
Say, what do you really want, anyhow?
241
00:24:13,107 --> 00:24:15,401
Don't answer that.
I'm not interested.
242
00:24:15,609 --> 00:24:20,823
- Why don't you get out of here?
- Sit down, kid. Please?
243
00:24:25,077 --> 00:24:28,789
I don't want anything, Sidney.
I just want to help you.
244
00:24:28,998 --> 00:24:31,542
I don't need any help. I'm doing fine.
245
00:24:31,750 --> 00:24:33,419
You are, huh?
246
00:24:33,627 --> 00:24:38,007
I got a nice place to live in.
You said yourself I�s pretty nice.
247
00:24:38,215 --> 00:24:40,008
And I got lots of friends.
248
00:24:40,217 --> 00:24:41,844
- Name two.
- What?
249
00:24:42,052 --> 00:24:44,513
Name two friends.
250
00:24:44,721 --> 00:24:46,932
Well, there's...
251
00:24:47,975 --> 00:24:52,980
And another guy... Wha�s the
difference? I got lots of friends.
252
00:24:53,188 --> 00:24:55,983
Like Monk and Artie
and all those other creeps?
253
00:24:56,191 --> 00:24:58,110
- They're good guys.
- They stink!
254
00:24:58,318 --> 00:25:01,446
- I hate them.
- But you, you're a good kid.
255
00:25:01,655 --> 00:25:04,575
- You're a nice kid.
- Well, how do you know?
256
00:25:04,783 --> 00:25:06,827
I've been checking on you.
257
00:25:07,035 --> 00:25:12,290
- You graduated from high school.
- I did? I mean, yeah, I did.
258
00:25:12,499 --> 00:25:15,544
And you also got
pretty good marks, too.
259
00:25:15,752 --> 00:25:18,046
Yeah, as a matter of fact, I did.
260
00:25:18,255 --> 00:25:20,382
And especially in manual training.
261
00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:23,844
I was very good. You can
ask me any question about wood.
262
00:25:24,052 --> 00:25:27,889
I know about wood. Would you like
to see something I made?
263
00:25:28,098 --> 00:25:31,643
I�s a backscratcher.
I�s very good. Made in wood.
264
00:25:34,771 --> 00:25:37,357
I�s the wrong side.
265
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,151
This side.
266
00:26:00,046 --> 00:26:01,881
I�s wood.
267
00:26:05,593 --> 00:26:10,181
- How do you make it...?
- This? I�s very simple. Watch.
268
00:26:14,852 --> 00:26:17,021
I made it up myself.
269
00:26:17,230 --> 00:26:19,524
- Tha�s very good.
- Thank you.
270
00:26:19,732 --> 00:26:23,319
Yeah. Now, where were we?
271
00:26:23,528 --> 00:26:26,030
We were talking
about my backscratcher.
272
00:26:26,239 --> 00:26:28,741
No, we were talking about you.
273
00:26:28,950 --> 00:26:32,203
I also discovered that you tried
to enlist in the Army.
274
00:26:32,412 --> 00:26:34,997
And the Navy, the Coast Guard
and the Marines.
275
00:26:35,206 --> 00:26:38,126
- They all turned me down.
- Why? What happened?
276
00:26:38,334 --> 00:26:40,670
They thought I was nutty.
My temperament.
277
00:26:40,878 --> 00:26:43,881
- Psychologically unfit?
- My lungs were fine.
278
00:26:44,090 --> 00:26:46,843
They just thought I was nutty.
But I don't care.
279
00:26:47,051 --> 00:26:49,804
I couldn't have been
what I wanted to be, anyhow.
280
00:26:50,012 --> 00:26:51,847
What did you wanna be?
281
00:26:52,056 --> 00:26:53,891
A lot of things.
282
00:26:54,100 --> 00:26:56,143
- For example?
- I'm thirsty.
283
00:26:56,352 --> 00:26:58,396
- Like some seltzer?
- Seltzer?
284
00:26:58,604 --> 00:27:02,024
Yeah.
Tha�s the phone. Excuse me.
285
00:27:02,233 --> 00:27:04,902
- Hello?
- Is Zelda there?
286
00:27:05,111 --> 00:27:07,530
No, she is not.
287
00:27:07,738 --> 00:27:09,615
Look, pal, don't give me that.
288
00:27:09,824 --> 00:27:12,451
I know she's there
and I wanna talk to her!
289
00:27:12,660 --> 00:27:14,703
Please excuse me for being unkind,
290
00:27:14,912 --> 00:27:17,915
but I told you already,
there is no Zelda here.
291
00:27:18,124 --> 00:27:20,793
Not now, ever or at no time.
There's no Zelda.
292
00:27:21,001 --> 00:27:25,089
- Now, will you please put her on?
- Not here, ever...
293
00:27:26,715 --> 00:27:30,344
Guy keeps calling up and asking
for Zelda. There's no Zelda here.
294
00:27:30,553 --> 00:27:34,348
I don't know no Zelda except a parakeet,
I know Zelda, but not...
295
00:27:34,556 --> 00:27:36,934
- Where were we?
- Tha�s a good question.
296
00:27:37,142 --> 00:27:40,688
- I was gonna get you some seltzer.
- Tha�s all right.
297
00:27:49,488 --> 00:27:52,157
Excuse me. Nice kitty.
298
00:27:59,706 --> 00:28:02,501
Why are you staring?
299
00:28:02,709 --> 00:28:06,338
- The bottle opener. I forgot it.
- Never mind, Sidney.
300
00:28:06,547 --> 00:28:08,757
- I�ll only take a second.
- No.
301
00:28:08,966 --> 00:28:11,009
- You don't want the seltzer?
- No.
302
00:28:11,218 --> 00:28:15,514
- Let me explain. I�ll take a second.
- No, kid, I'm getting airsick.
303
00:28:15,722 --> 00:28:18,266
- But if you want the seltzer...
- No!
304
00:28:18,475 --> 00:28:20,519
- You wanted...
- No, thanks!
305
00:28:20,727 --> 00:28:24,815
- I won't coax you. Whatever you say.
- Now, look, kid...
306
00:28:25,023 --> 00:28:28,985
Tha�s my phone. Excuse me.
307
00:28:29,194 --> 00:28:30,987
Don't start that again!
308
00:28:31,196 --> 00:28:34,282
Listen to me, will you?
I wanna talk to Zelda!
309
00:28:34,491 --> 00:28:37,953
Will you listen to me?
You call up here and ask for Zelda.
310
00:28:38,161 --> 00:28:41,289
There is no Zelda!
And the parakeet is a girl.
311
00:28:41,498 --> 00:28:45,919
The girl is a bird... There's no Zelda.
If it was a bird, you couldn't get it.
312
00:28:46,127 --> 00:28:48,546
- Look, pal...
- No one here at that name.
313
00:28:48,755 --> 00:28:50,173
- Zelda...
- Put her on!
314
00:28:50,382 --> 00:28:54,511
There is no one here that name
and you call and I�s a wrong number!
315
00:28:54,719 --> 00:28:57,430
Tha�s all. You got a wrong number.
316
00:29:02,310 --> 00:29:07,273
Look, kid, come here.
I wanna see you tonight.
317
00:29:07,482 --> 00:29:09,484
- Am I under arrest?
- No.
318
00:29:09,692 --> 00:29:13,196
- Are you gonna lock me up?
- No, of course not.
319
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:19,369
I'm sorry. I thought maybe we could
have dinner together over at my place.
320
00:29:19,577 --> 00:29:21,621
I cook a great steak.
321
00:29:22,705 --> 00:29:26,084
I thought we could sit around,
play gin, maybe watch TV.
322
00:29:26,292 --> 00:29:28,711
Get to know each other.
323
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:30,964
Well, what do you say?
324
00:29:34,008 --> 00:29:39,597
I don't understand, you know.
I mean, why me?
325
00:29:39,806 --> 00:29:41,849
You know, I don't understand.
326
00:29:42,058 --> 00:29:45,520
Why did you pick on me to buddy
up with for, you know?
327
00:29:45,728 --> 00:29:47,688
To be perfectly honest with you,
328
00:29:47,897 --> 00:29:50,650
I'm new in the neighbourhood
and have few friends.
329
00:29:50,858 --> 00:29:53,819
I thought I could break the ice with you.
330
00:29:56,072 --> 00:30:03,120
Well... thanks for the invitation,
but I got a date tonight, see.
331
00:30:04,497 --> 00:30:08,042
Yeah. Sure. I should have known better.
I should have known
332
00:30:08,250 --> 00:30:12,129
that a guy like you'd be all booked up
ahead of time, social-wise.
333
00:30:12,338 --> 00:30:16,342
Well, yeah, you know, like I said before,
I got a lot of friends
334
00:30:16,550 --> 00:30:18,594
and I'm very busy, you know.
335
00:30:18,803 --> 00:30:21,180
Yeah. Well, maybe next time, huh?
336
00:30:21,388 --> 00:30:23,432
Yeah.
337
00:30:25,476 --> 00:30:28,103
- Thanks a lot, kid.
- OK.
338
00:30:29,146 --> 00:30:30,981
- Say...
- Yeah?
339
00:30:31,190 --> 00:30:37,488
- Excuse me, do you really have a TV?
- 21-inch screen.
340
00:30:37,696 --> 00:30:43,077
- There's great fights on tonight.
- Well, I'll try and break my date.
341
00:30:43,285 --> 00:30:48,123
- Tha�d be great if you could, kid.
- But I'm not making any promises.
342
00:30:48,332 --> 00:30:50,751
I don't like to break engagements.
343
00:30:50,959 --> 00:30:54,880
- Yeah, well, if you can.
- If I can.
344
00:30:55,089 --> 00:30:58,092
I live at the Halifax Apartments.
See you at seven?
345
00:30:58,300 --> 00:31:01,470
- If I can.
- Yeah, if you can.
346
00:31:05,015 --> 00:31:07,684
How do you like your steaks?
347
00:31:07,893 --> 00:31:10,187
Rare, when I get one.
348
00:31:23,075 --> 00:31:25,327
- Hello.
- I'm not gonna tell you again.
349
00:31:25,535 --> 00:31:29,081
I know she's there. When I come
over, I'm gonna give you a shot.
350
00:31:29,289 --> 00:31:34,002
I know the girl's there. I happen to be
engaged to her. Now, see, the...
351
00:31:39,549 --> 00:31:42,469
And once I find out
you've been bothering her,
352
00:31:42,677 --> 00:31:44,721
believe me, I'm not gonna
fool around.
353
00:31:44,930 --> 00:31:47,891
I know the address.
I'm coming over and...
354
00:31:52,938 --> 00:31:54,940
Ask her to call Freddie...
355
00:31:58,902 --> 00:32:00,612
Officer Damon's late.
356
00:32:00,820 --> 00:32:02,864
He's on an assignment,
Miss Henshaw.
357
00:32:03,073 --> 00:32:07,035
I have many things to do.
I'm not used to being kept waiting.
358
00:32:07,243 --> 00:32:09,120
- Yeah?
- Officer Damon is here.
359
00:32:09,329 --> 00:32:10,955
Send him in.
360
00:32:11,164 --> 00:32:14,042
- Your target has just arrived.
- Good.
361
00:32:14,250 --> 00:32:16,044
Good morning, Captain.
362
00:32:16,252 --> 00:32:18,087
- You sent for me?
- Yes.
363
00:32:18,296 --> 00:32:21,216
This is Miss Martha Henshaw.
Officer Damon.
364
00:32:22,550 --> 00:32:24,594
- How do you do?
- How do you do?
365
00:32:24,802 --> 00:32:27,639
Miss Henshaw represents
the City Council.
366
00:32:27,847 --> 00:32:32,852
I repeat, the City Council.
She has been employed to...
367
00:32:33,061 --> 00:32:37,023
Investigate the deplorable situation
in this and other neighbourhoods
368
00:32:37,231 --> 00:32:40,985
that are the breeding grounds for
many local crimes.
369
00:32:41,194 --> 00:32:44,238
Tha�s great. Tha�s wonderful.
How can I fit in?
370
00:32:44,447 --> 00:32:50,203
Officer Damon, you are to work
hand in hand with Miss Henshaw.
371
00:32:50,411 --> 00:32:52,955
- Are you serious?
- Yes.
372
00:32:53,164 --> 00:32:56,375
Look, you know I work alone.
I can't have some dame...
373
00:32:56,584 --> 00:32:58,920
- Some dame?
- I got my own system.
374
00:32:59,128 --> 00:33:02,548
Your system has been
one long series of utter failures.
375
00:33:02,757 --> 00:33:05,885
Tha�s in the past. From now on,
I'm gonna get results.
376
00:33:06,093 --> 00:33:08,971
Our City Council has grown
weary of incompetence
377
00:33:09,180 --> 00:33:13,601
and is convinced pampering hoodlums
is a waste of the taxpayers' money.
378
00:33:13,809 --> 00:33:16,187
You talk like a drunken first sergeant.
379
00:33:16,395 --> 00:33:18,564
Do you want me to beat them silly?
380
00:33:18,773 --> 00:33:21,692
Of course not.
I abhor cruelty of any kind.
381
00:33:21,901 --> 00:33:27,990
But I believe discipline will bring better
results with these young hoodlums.
382
00:33:28,199 --> 00:33:31,327
Boy, you mus�ve
been a lot of laughs in a parked car.
383
00:33:31,535 --> 00:33:36,248
Wha�d you say?
Apologise to this lady. Now!
384
00:33:41,837 --> 00:33:44,465
- I'm sorry.
- This is an order.
385
00:33:44,673 --> 00:33:47,509
You are to work with,
not against, Miss Henshaw.
386
00:33:47,718 --> 00:33:49,970
- Is that clear?
- Yes, sir.
387
00:33:50,179 --> 00:33:52,014
If you'll both excuse me,
388
00:33:52,222 --> 00:33:58,103
I have some minor affairs concerning
murder and robbery to look into.
389
00:34:00,064 --> 00:34:02,357
Sit down, Officer Damon.
390
00:34:05,319 --> 00:34:07,154
Sit down.
391
00:34:08,363 --> 00:34:09,990
Yes, sir.
392
00:34:12,326 --> 00:34:16,622
First of all, I'd like to meet
a typical juvenile delinquent.
393
00:34:16,830 --> 00:34:20,083
- OK. Go out and find yourself one.
- Me?
394
00:34:20,292 --> 00:34:24,171
- I thought you'd supply me with one.
- No, honey. I got mine.
395
00:34:24,379 --> 00:34:26,715
He's having dinner with me tonight.
396
00:34:26,923 --> 00:34:31,178
Say, I got a fine idea.
You go out and find your boy,
397
00:34:31,386 --> 00:34:35,474
meet me at my place,
we'll all sit around and bite each other.
398
00:34:35,682 --> 00:34:38,018
Where do I start to look?
399
00:34:38,226 --> 00:34:40,270
How about the 4-H Club?
400
00:34:40,479 --> 00:34:43,190
Very well, Mr Damon,
I shall find my delinquent.
401
00:34:43,398 --> 00:34:47,068
It should be interesting seeing
your methods compared to mine.
402
00:34:47,277 --> 00:34:52,490
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Meet me at my place about 7.00.
403
00:34:55,076 --> 00:34:59,915
Or are you a little shaky about visiting
a man's apartment, sarge?
404
00:35:01,875 --> 00:35:06,546
Mr Damon, the man has not been
created who frightens Martha Henshaw.
405
00:35:09,591 --> 00:35:14,054
- Hey, who won the ball games today?
- I don't know. Who cares?
406
00:35:20,935 --> 00:35:22,479
Hey there.
407
00:35:22,687 --> 00:35:24,898
What a way to go.
408
00:35:36,659 --> 00:35:39,454
That reminds me of a beast
I met in Cleveland.
409
00:35:39,662 --> 00:35:42,457
Was this chick out!
She invited me to her place.
410
00:35:42,665 --> 00:35:46,210
Man, I didn't know
what was gonna happen, so...
411
00:35:48,379 --> 00:35:50,423
- Young man.
- Yeah, baby?
412
00:35:50,631 --> 00:35:53,384
I was wondering
if you aren't busy tonight...
413
00:35:53,593 --> 00:35:56,345
- Busy? Wha�s on your mind, baby?
- Never mind.
414
00:35:56,554 --> 00:35:58,973
I hope you're not as uncouth
as your friend.
415
00:35:59,182 --> 00:36:02,143
Me, uncouth? Not me, baby.
Wha�s bugging you?
416
00:36:02,351 --> 00:36:06,439
- As I said, if you're not busy...
- I'm with you, chickie. Le�s swing.
417
00:36:06,647 --> 00:36:08,357
Let me go.
418
00:36:08,566 --> 00:36:11,903
Wha�s the matter, baby?
Are you cracking up?
419
00:36:12,111 --> 00:36:14,238
What a punchy broad that is.
420
00:36:14,447 --> 00:36:18,284
Full of stifled emotions.
Le�s get out of here.
421
00:36:25,041 --> 00:36:27,460
- Hiya, Sidney.
- Hi, Officer Casey.
422
00:36:27,668 --> 00:36:30,254
- Need any help?
- No, thanks, I'm doing fine.
423
00:36:30,463 --> 00:36:34,049
- OK, kid. See you later.
- Right. Nice seeing you, Officer.
424
00:36:42,433 --> 00:36:44,268
Hey, Sidney.
425
00:36:48,772 --> 00:36:52,901
Hi, fellas.
How are you? Nice day, huh?
426
00:36:53,110 --> 00:36:57,823
I mean, nice day for hanging around.
What do you say we all hang around?
427
00:36:58,032 --> 00:37:00,534
Sure been friendly with the cops lately.
428
00:37:00,743 --> 00:37:04,705
No. Me? No. Cops, friends?
No. I hate them, Monk.
429
00:37:04,913 --> 00:37:09,168
You do? Then what was that fink
cop doing visiting you this morning?
430
00:37:09,376 --> 00:37:14,006
- Me? I don't remember.
- What was he gassing you about?
431
00:37:14,214 --> 00:37:18,218
- Him? No, he had the wrong room.
- Wrong room?
432
00:37:18,427 --> 00:37:20,470
You're lying.
433
00:37:20,679 --> 00:37:26,893
- Don't ever hit me like that.
- What are you gonna do about it?
434
00:37:29,438 --> 00:37:32,858
- Nothing now. Thank you.
- Let me have him.
435
00:37:34,192 --> 00:37:36,820
You better learn
to keep your fat mouth shut.
436
00:37:37,029 --> 00:37:39,448
- You understand?
- I understand.
437
00:37:39,656 --> 00:37:41,825
Let him alone. He didn't do anything.
438
00:37:42,033 --> 00:37:44,077
- Don't rough him up.
- Nothing.
439
00:37:44,286 --> 00:37:47,205
Hey, Sidney.
I think I wanna give you a little gift.
440
00:37:47,414 --> 00:37:50,083
- Really? What is it?
- This.
441
00:37:50,292 --> 00:37:52,544
- Go on. Take it.
- But I don't...
442
00:37:52,752 --> 00:37:56,548
- Keep it. I�s yours.
- Thanks very much.
443
00:37:56,756 --> 00:38:00,844
- Tha�s nice.
- You keep it, kid, as a reminder.
444
00:38:01,052 --> 00:38:04,139
When you get pally with
your shamus friend, remember,
445
00:38:04,347 --> 00:38:07,475
one of these days, I'm liable
to ask for my gift back.
446
00:38:07,684 --> 00:38:09,769
And you know what you're gonna do?
447
00:38:09,978 --> 00:38:15,025
You're gonna give it to me,
just so I can chop you up a touch.
448
00:38:19,863 --> 00:38:22,657
- Isn't that nice, Sidney?
- I�s very nice.
449
00:38:22,866 --> 00:38:24,701
Le�s get out of here.
450
00:38:54,105 --> 00:38:55,898
I'm flipping.
451
00:39:03,990 --> 00:39:08,452
Stand back, baby,
or you're gonna get some of this.
452
00:39:09,662 --> 00:39:12,415
Stay away, baby, I'm flipping.
453
00:39:12,623 --> 00:39:15,459
Back up, honey,
you're pressing your luck.
454
00:39:15,668 --> 00:39:18,254
You're gonna get one of these
in your...
455
00:39:18,462 --> 00:39:22,925
Back up, baby, I'm warning you,
you'll get one of these.
456
00:39:27,430 --> 00:39:29,432
Young man, I'm your friend.
457
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:32,393
- You are?
- Please give me the knife.
458
00:39:32,601 --> 00:39:35,563
- Wha�s your name?
- Martha.
459
00:39:43,654 --> 00:39:45,990
Yeah, in a second.
460
00:39:52,705 --> 00:39:54,164
OK.
461
00:39:54,373 --> 00:39:56,959
- Hiya, kid...
- Good evening.
462
00:39:57,167 --> 00:40:01,255
Well, the pride of the City Council.
Come on in.
463
00:40:04,216 --> 00:40:05,926
Do my colours clash?
464
00:40:06,135 --> 00:40:09,346
- I was looking for your delinquent.
- He'll be along soon.
465
00:40:09,555 --> 00:40:12,683
- I see you showed up empty-handed.
- Far from it.
466
00:40:12,891 --> 00:40:16,645
I've found a perfect example
of what delinquency represents.
467
00:40:16,854 --> 00:40:20,149
- You brought your father.
- Young man, you may enter.
468
00:40:20,357 --> 00:40:26,029
I'm cutting and killing, killing and
cutting, anything that gets in my way.
469
00:40:26,238 --> 00:40:29,283
- Hello.
- You two know each other?
470
00:40:29,491 --> 00:40:32,160
- No.
- No.
471
00:40:32,369 --> 00:40:36,039
This is your example
of typical juvenile delinquency?
472
00:40:36,248 --> 00:40:41,253
Correct. A confused, unbalanced young
man with only one thought in mind.
473
00:40:41,461 --> 00:40:44,464
- Self-destruction.
- Wanna help me with the salad?
474
00:40:44,673 --> 00:40:46,717
- The dressing?
- Oil and vinegar.
475
00:40:46,925 --> 00:40:49,553
He came after me with a knife.
Tried to kill me.
476
00:40:49,761 --> 00:40:52,889
- Who, me, baby?
- Sidney wouldn't even cut an orange,
477
00:40:53,098 --> 00:40:55,392
- No.
- Young man, you made a fool of me.
478
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,853
Who, me? I was just standing...
479
00:40:58,061 --> 00:41:00,397
- He was trying to help.
- Tha�s right.
480
00:41:00,605 --> 00:41:02,858
And he's not really a delinquent.
Are you?
481
00:41:03,066 --> 00:41:05,110
You're a mean, horrible young man.
482
00:41:05,318 --> 00:41:10,490
Calm down. Where's your sense of
humour? We were just ribbing you.
483
00:41:10,699 --> 00:41:12,742
I fail to see the humour of this.
484
00:41:12,951 --> 00:41:16,371
You're right. There is no joke
and Sidney does need help.
485
00:41:16,579 --> 00:41:19,207
He was gonna be my guest here tonight.
486
00:41:19,416 --> 00:41:22,085
I got a fine idea. Why don't
we work together
487
00:41:22,293 --> 00:41:26,297
and give him the helping hand he needs?
What do you say, Martha?
488
00:41:26,506 --> 00:41:30,176
I prefer to be referred to
as Miss Henshaw.
489
00:41:30,385 --> 00:41:35,765
Well, anything you say, Martha.
Le�s help this boy out together.
490
00:41:35,974 --> 00:41:40,436
I can assure you, Mr Damon, I'm
capable of handling the situation alone.
491
00:41:40,645 --> 00:41:42,689
Yeah, well, maybe you're right.
492
00:41:42,897 --> 00:41:45,400
Come on, Sidney,
sit down in the big chair.
493
00:41:48,611 --> 00:41:51,406
After you, Miss Henshaw.
You don't mind if I watch?
494
00:41:51,656 --> 00:41:55,576
This feels like when they
shrink your head. I should lie down.
495
00:41:55,785 --> 00:41:57,412
That won't be necessary.
496
00:41:57,620 --> 00:42:01,749
First I'd like to ask you a series
of pertinent questions about your past.
497
00:42:01,958 --> 00:42:04,210
- Yes, ma'am.
- Tell me about your youth.
498
00:42:04,419 --> 00:42:07,797
Your likes and, most important,
your dislikes and hatreds.
499
00:42:08,005 --> 00:42:10,842
- I never hated anybody.
- You're lying.
500
00:42:11,050 --> 00:42:13,302
- Well, I did hate Herman Zillman.
- Why?
501
00:42:13,511 --> 00:42:15,221
- 'Cause he spit on me.
- Why?
502
00:42:15,429 --> 00:42:16,973
- 'Cause I kicked him.
- Why?
503
00:42:17,181 --> 00:42:19,684
- 'Cause he spit on me.
- You can't knock that.
504
00:42:19,892 --> 00:42:22,353
- Did you hate school?
- Only during summer.
505
00:42:22,562 --> 00:42:25,690
- There's no school during summer.
- You sure?
506
00:42:25,898 --> 00:42:28,693
Don't ridicule me.
If you don't want assistance...
507
00:42:28,901 --> 00:42:31,612
- He wants your help. Don't you?
- Yes, help me.
508
00:42:31,821 --> 00:42:34,407
I can't offer him help
under these conditions.
509
00:42:34,615 --> 00:42:37,993
No. Wrong approach, Martha. Watch.
510
00:42:38,202 --> 00:42:42,373
Sidney, just suppose
that you had your choice
511
00:42:42,581 --> 00:42:47,378
of being anything in the world.
Now, what would you rather be?
512
00:42:47,586 --> 00:42:50,172
- I don't know.
- Make up your mind. Think.
513
00:42:50,381 --> 00:42:52,216
I said, I don't know.
514
00:42:52,424 --> 00:42:55,344
- Give it a thought.
- A plumber, a mailman?
515
00:42:55,553 --> 00:42:57,805
- No.
- Mechanic? Engineer?
516
00:42:58,013 --> 00:43:00,224
- Education?
- Four years high school.
517
00:43:00,432 --> 00:43:03,811
- I was talking to Sidney.
- You were yelling at him.
518
00:43:04,019 --> 00:43:07,690
- I can do without your criticism.
- You can do with criticism.
519
00:43:07,898 --> 00:43:11,568
- You're like a flamethrower.
- Keep your comments to yourself.
520
00:43:11,777 --> 00:43:14,780
- Don't yell at the boy.
- Shut up, Sidney!
521
00:43:14,988 --> 00:43:18,117
- I'm sick and tired of your attitude.
- You are?
522
00:43:18,325 --> 00:43:20,160
- Where are you going?
- Wait.
523
00:43:20,369 --> 00:43:22,412
- I'm going home.
- Wait a minute.
524
00:43:22,621 --> 00:43:26,625
- The two of you are making a fool of me.
- Nobody's trying to...
525
00:43:26,834 --> 00:43:29,044
I�s true. You're making a fool of me.
526
00:43:29,253 --> 00:43:32,381
You two think I'm a freak
or something. Or a guinea pig.
527
00:43:32,589 --> 00:43:36,218
If I sit here long enough,
you're gonna stick pins in me.
528
00:43:36,426 --> 00:43:38,929
I don't like it. I don't like it at all.
529
00:43:39,137 --> 00:43:42,349
If you'll be good enough
to excuse me, I'm going home.
530
00:43:42,599 --> 00:43:45,769
- Wait a minute, Sid.
- I'm going home.
531
00:43:51,316 --> 00:43:53,568
Are you satisfied now, Miss Big Plans?
532
00:43:53,777 --> 00:43:55,946
- One moment.
- One moment, my foot.
533
00:43:56,154 --> 00:44:00,534
You stick your pretty nose into something
that you know nothing about.
534
00:44:00,742 --> 00:44:02,577
- If you'll just...
- Shut up!
535
00:44:02,786 --> 00:44:04,830
How would you know
how to handle him?
536
00:44:05,038 --> 00:44:08,500
With your fat mink stoles
and your back-to-back Chryslers.
537
00:44:08,708 --> 00:44:13,213
That is me, ten years ago. I know what
makes him tick and makes him sick.
538
00:44:13,421 --> 00:44:16,341
You gotta eat dirt
before you can analyse it, sweets,
539
00:44:16,549 --> 00:44:18,593
and that quickly eliminates you.
540
00:44:18,802 --> 00:44:21,888
Pick up your diploma
and head back to Park Avenue.
541
00:44:22,097 --> 00:44:26,184
If you've got any ideas about helping
people, start in on your parents.
542
00:44:26,393 --> 00:44:28,520
From the looks of you,
they need help.
543
00:44:28,728 --> 00:44:31,064
Captain Riley will be interested in this.
544
00:44:31,272 --> 00:44:33,608
Good. Tell him anything you want!
545
00:44:33,817 --> 00:44:36,152
Only, stay away from Sidney.
546
00:44:38,196 --> 00:44:39,948
There's beer in the icebox.
547
00:44:40,156 --> 00:44:43,618
I don't think you'd like it, though.
I�s domestic.
548
00:45:23,991 --> 00:45:26,827
I'll go my way
549
00:45:27,787 --> 00:45:30,248
By myself
550
00:45:31,582 --> 00:45:36,671
Like walking under a cloud
551
00:45:38,381 --> 00:45:41,008
I'll go my way
552
00:45:41,550 --> 00:45:44,053
By myself
553
00:45:45,054 --> 00:45:49,350
All alone in a crowd
554
00:45:53,395 --> 00:45:59,777
I'll try to apply myself
555
00:46:01,737 --> 00:46:07,201
And teach my heart how to sing
556
00:46:10,412 --> 00:46:16,877
I'll go my way by myself
557
00:46:18,379 --> 00:46:24,551
Like a bird on the wing
558
00:46:27,763 --> 00:46:32,351
I'll face the unknown
559
00:46:35,562 --> 00:46:40,734
I'll build a world of my own
560
00:46:44,446 --> 00:46:47,741
No one knows better
561
00:46:48,325 --> 00:46:52,829
Than I myself
562
00:46:54,456 --> 00:46:59,753
I'm by myself
563
00:47:01,797 --> 00:47:07,093
Alone
564
00:47:17,896 --> 00:47:21,858
Sidney, come up here instantly.
We have work to do.
565
00:47:22,067 --> 00:47:24,778
OK, Mr Crow, I'll be right there.
566
00:47:33,703 --> 00:47:35,914
- I got it, Mr Crow.
- Got what?
567
00:47:36,122 --> 00:47:38,166
The model restroom for the frogs.
568
00:47:38,374 --> 00:47:41,252
- Will those little frogs be happy!
- What frogs?
569
00:47:41,461 --> 00:47:43,922
The frogs that are going to the moon.
570
00:47:44,130 --> 00:47:46,966
They're going into
the spaceship, remember?
571
00:47:47,175 --> 00:47:49,594
- What spaceship?
- The spaceship.
572
00:47:49,802 --> 00:47:52,555
We're building it here
for when the world ends.
573
00:47:52,764 --> 00:47:55,767
The frogs are gonna go to the moon
in the spaceship...
574
00:47:55,975 --> 00:47:59,812
They're gonna fly when no one takes...
"What frogs"?
575
00:48:00,021 --> 00:48:03,316
Sidney, you keep babbling
about frogs and spaceships.
576
00:48:03,524 --> 00:48:06,444
We're working on a cure
for the common cold. Look.
577
00:48:06,653 --> 00:48:09,072
At last, a "thinnening" cough drop.
578
00:48:09,280 --> 00:48:12,825
Non-caloric, non-fattening
and perfect for skin blemishes.
579
00:48:13,034 --> 00:48:15,411
We'll be millionaires.
580
00:48:16,412 --> 00:48:19,665
I thought we were...
I don't feel very good.
581
00:48:19,874 --> 00:48:22,001
You do look a little pale.
582
00:48:22,210 --> 00:48:25,004
And you have been working
all night, you know.
583
00:48:25,213 --> 00:48:26,797
I just got here, Mr Crow.
584
00:48:27,006 --> 00:48:30,134
You better go to your room,
lie down, take a nap.
585
00:48:30,343 --> 00:48:34,847
Later on, we'll work on my frog ship.
It has to be finished quickly.
586
00:48:35,056 --> 00:48:37,725
Yes, sir. Well, whatever you say,
Mr Crow.
587
00:48:37,934 --> 00:48:41,395
Good boy, Sidney.
You are a hard worker.
588
00:48:41,604 --> 00:48:45,649
And I couldn't be more pleased
to make you rich.
589
00:48:45,858 --> 00:48:50,362
Well, thank you very much, Mr Crow.
590
00:48:50,571 --> 00:48:52,990
- Rich!
- Yes, well...
591
00:48:53,199 --> 00:48:55,910
If you don't mind,
I'll go to my room and lie down
592
00:48:56,118 --> 00:49:01,081
so that the spaceship will never have
any expedience on the frogs.
593
00:49:01,290 --> 00:49:06,045
Thank you... I'm sorry, Mr Crow.
I almost knocked your glasses off.
594
00:49:06,629 --> 00:49:08,214
Thank you.
595
00:49:15,763 --> 00:49:17,431
Hi, Sidney.
596
00:49:19,224 --> 00:49:20,643
Hello.
597
00:49:20,851 --> 00:49:22,603
How've you been?
598
00:49:22,811 --> 00:49:24,855
Just fine.
599
00:49:25,064 --> 00:49:27,608
- I was wondering...
- Yes, ma'am.
600
00:49:28,859 --> 00:49:30,903
I was wondering...
601
00:49:32,404 --> 00:49:34,698
...if you'd empty this for me.
602
00:49:35,616 --> 00:49:37,493
Yeah, I'd be glad to.
603
00:49:42,748 --> 00:49:44,333
Yes, Sidney?
604
00:49:44,541 --> 00:49:47,085
- I just thought...
- Yes?
605
00:49:47,294 --> 00:49:49,546
- That is, I was...
- Yes?
606
00:49:51,173 --> 00:49:54,009
Would you like a new lining
in this basket?
607
00:49:56,637 --> 00:49:59,598
- I'd appreciate it very much.
- OK.
608
00:49:59,806 --> 00:50:01,266
Thank you.
609
00:50:01,475 --> 00:50:03,268
You're welcome.
610
00:50:26,166 --> 00:50:27,959
Hi, Sidney.
611
00:50:28,501 --> 00:50:30,295
Hello.
612
00:50:30,503 --> 00:50:33,298
I've been sitting here
waiting for you.
613
00:50:34,632 --> 00:50:38,053
- I have nothing to talk to you about.
- Wait a minute.
614
00:50:38,261 --> 00:50:41,056
You got reasons to be sore,
but not at me.
615
00:50:41,264 --> 00:50:42,974
I don't wanna talk about it.
616
00:50:43,183 --> 00:50:45,643
I had nothing to do
with the way she acted.
617
00:50:45,852 --> 00:50:48,271
Did you take me there
to put me under glass?
618
00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:51,649
I don't think you're a specimen,
if tha�s what you mean.
619
00:50:51,858 --> 00:50:56,029
But if you do mean did I bring you
up there to help you, yeah.
620
00:50:56,237 --> 00:50:58,698
Help me?
You certainly didn't show it.
621
00:50:58,907 --> 00:51:01,409
I can only help you
if you wanna be helped.
622
00:51:01,618 --> 00:51:05,371
You keep fighting me,
we're gonna end up in a stalemate.
623
00:51:05,580 --> 00:51:09,584
Me fighting you? Mike, you came to me.
I didn't come to you, you know.
624
00:51:09,792 --> 00:51:13,838
You're the guy tha�s telling me
I'm gonna this and that and...
625
00:51:14,047 --> 00:51:17,508
And you get me all mixed-up
and all confused.
626
00:51:19,010 --> 00:51:20,887
I don't know.
627
00:51:26,267 --> 00:51:28,853
How does a guy know
what he wants to be,
628
00:51:29,061 --> 00:51:31,564
especially someone like me?
629
00:51:33,566 --> 00:51:38,821
Well, kid, the... first thing is
to find out what you are.
630
00:51:41,824 --> 00:51:43,659
What am I?
631
00:51:44,827 --> 00:51:47,038
Tha�s a very good question.
632
00:51:48,164 --> 00:51:50,583
But the answer ain't very nice.
633
00:51:51,208 --> 00:51:53,002
I'll tell you what I am.
634
00:51:53,961 --> 00:51:59,925
I'm a nowhere... and tha�s the worst
kind of something there is.
635
00:52:01,469 --> 00:52:04,346
I could never, ever be anything
I wanted to be.
636
00:52:04,638 --> 00:52:08,350
'Cause when I tried to be bad,
I was good.
637
00:52:08,559 --> 00:52:11,896
When I tried to be good,
I was stupid.
638
00:52:12,104 --> 00:52:14,189
Even when I was a kid.
639
00:52:14,440 --> 00:52:16,609
When I was a kid, I was dumb.
640
00:52:18,319 --> 00:52:22,114
When I was a boy, I was jerky.
641
00:52:23,365 --> 00:52:26,744
And now... I'm a man.
642
00:52:29,329 --> 00:52:31,373
And I'm empty.
643
00:52:33,459 --> 00:52:35,669
Well, that about adds it up.
644
00:52:37,379 --> 00:52:40,966
Except for two very important things
I know about myself.
645
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,053
One, I'm nothing.
646
00:52:45,929 --> 00:52:50,392
Two, I sure would like to be something.
647
00:52:55,939 --> 00:52:57,566
Sidney.
648
00:53:00,068 --> 00:53:03,280
Kid, you name it
and I'll help you be it.
649
00:53:04,114 --> 00:53:07,784
- You promise?
- I promise.
650
00:53:09,786 --> 00:53:12,581
- OK, I know what I wanna be.
- Yeah?
651
00:53:12,789 --> 00:53:15,000
I wanna help other people.
652
00:53:15,208 --> 00:53:17,461
Good, tha�s good thinking.
653
00:53:17,669 --> 00:53:21,590
- I wanna be respected.
- You will be.
654
00:53:21,798 --> 00:53:25,010
- I wanna be a cop.
- You wanna be a...?
655
00:53:26,511 --> 00:53:30,765
- You wanna be a cop?
- I wanna be a police officer like you.
656
00:53:30,974 --> 00:53:33,810
Wait a minute, you can't be a...
No, I mean...
657
00:53:34,019 --> 00:53:35,812
You're not interested.
658
00:53:36,021 --> 00:53:37,856
No, tha�s not what I meant.
659
00:53:38,064 --> 00:53:40,108
No, you're like everybody else.
660
00:53:40,317 --> 00:53:42,944
- You think I'm stupid.
- No, I don't.
661
00:53:43,153 --> 00:53:48,533
Well, let me tell you something,
I'm gonna be something if it kills me.
662
00:53:50,785 --> 00:53:53,746
Look, boy, I�s not easy being a cop.
663
00:53:53,955 --> 00:53:56,666
What does it cost me to try?
664
00:53:56,875 --> 00:53:59,836
The pay stinks.
The hours are worse.
665
00:54:00,044 --> 00:54:03,840
I�s a rough, tough, thankless job.
You don't wanna be a cop.
666
00:54:04,048 --> 00:54:06,551
Yes, I do.
667
00:54:11,389 --> 00:54:14,684
OK, kid.
I'm gonna make you a cop.
668
00:54:14,892 --> 00:54:18,229
I'm gonna make you
the best cop in this town.
669
00:54:18,438 --> 00:54:20,898
- Honest to goodness?
- Honest to goodness.
670
00:54:21,107 --> 00:54:25,069
- Tha�s wonderful. Le�s get a badge.
- No, wait a minute, boy.
671
00:54:25,278 --> 00:54:27,613
- There's a few things we gotta do.
- What?
672
00:54:27,822 --> 00:54:30,950
- Enrol you in the police academy.
- That sounds fun.
673
00:54:31,159 --> 00:54:36,247
If you call weeks of back-breaking work
and brain-busting examinations fun.
674
00:54:36,455 --> 00:54:40,376
Don't worry about me. I can do anything
I have to do or want to do.
675
00:54:40,585 --> 00:54:43,379
How do I get into this here academy?
676
00:54:43,588 --> 00:54:46,966
Well, first you gotta be recommended
by a police officer.
677
00:54:47,174 --> 00:54:49,260
- That would be you?
- Yeah, me.
678
00:54:49,468 --> 00:54:51,178
And wha�s the next step?
679
00:54:51,387 --> 00:54:54,265
The recommendation has
to be okayed by the captain.
680
00:54:54,473 --> 00:54:56,350
That would be Captain Riley.
681
00:54:56,559 --> 00:54:59,812
- He likes you, doesn't he?
- He's crazy about me.
682
00:55:00,021 --> 00:55:03,482
- Yeah, especially now.
- What have we got to worry about?
683
00:55:04,358 --> 00:55:08,696
Sidney Pythias a police officer?
Are you out of your mind?
684
00:55:08,904 --> 00:55:10,698
- But, Captain...
- Be quiet.
685
00:55:10,906 --> 00:55:15,828
- This half-baked, dim-witted...
- He's not half-baked and dim-witted.
686
00:55:16,036 --> 00:55:18,706
- He's just a little shy.
- Shy?
687
00:55:18,956 --> 00:55:21,250
He ought to have
his own revolving door.
688
00:55:21,458 --> 00:55:24,878
No use arguing with you after
what that Henshaw dame told you.
689
00:55:25,087 --> 00:55:29,550
If it wasn't for that Henshaw dame,
and your stupid suggestion,
690
00:55:29,758 --> 00:55:32,511
I'd hit you over the head
with that inkstand.
691
00:55:32,720 --> 00:55:36,473
- What are you talking about?
- Martha Henshaw just left here.
692
00:55:36,682 --> 00:55:38,517
She told me that, in her opinion,
693
00:55:38,726 --> 00:55:42,104
you were best qualified to handle
delinquents like Sidney.
694
00:55:42,312 --> 00:55:46,275
- She said she wouldn't interfere.
- Yeah?
695
00:55:46,483 --> 00:55:48,819
- She said that?
- Yeah.
696
00:55:50,529 --> 00:55:52,156
Well, what do you know.
697
00:55:52,364 --> 00:55:56,368
But as far as making Sidney Pythias
a police officer,
698
00:55:56,577 --> 00:55:59,121
tha�s pushing things a little too hard.
699
00:55:59,329 --> 00:56:01,790
Captain, I promise you he can do it.
700
00:56:01,999 --> 00:56:05,377
And I promise you that in 24 hours
701
00:56:05,585 --> 00:56:08,297
the police academy
will be burned to the ground.
702
00:56:08,505 --> 00:56:11,508
No, I won't okay it.
703
00:56:12,801 --> 00:56:16,471
- Is that final, sir?
- Tha�s final.
704
00:56:20,767 --> 00:56:22,185
Yes, sir.
705
00:56:24,146 --> 00:56:25,814
Final.
706
00:56:29,693 --> 00:56:31,778
- Mike.
- Yes, sir?
707
00:56:33,321 --> 00:56:38,493
- Do you really think...?
- Captain, he's honest, he's got guts.
708
00:56:38,702 --> 00:56:41,246
He's a decent human being.
709
00:56:42,455 --> 00:56:43,915
Captain...
710
00:56:45,041 --> 00:56:46,835
Captain, I'm begging you.
711
00:56:48,086 --> 00:56:51,172
All right. I'll okay it.
712
00:56:51,381 --> 00:56:56,386
But get this. He's your responsibility.
First, last and always.
713
00:56:56,594 --> 00:57:00,432
- If anything goes wrong...
- Nothing will go wrong,
714
00:57:00,640 --> 00:57:03,268
I promise you. Nothing, I promise.
715
00:57:04,352 --> 00:57:05,854
Nothing.
716
00:57:11,526 --> 00:57:14,362
Gentlemen, we're in trouble.
717
00:57:14,571 --> 00:57:18,116
Terrible, terrible trouble.
718
00:57:18,449 --> 00:57:20,910
- Do you understand?
- I understand that.
719
00:57:21,119 --> 00:57:23,496
- OK, wha�s next?
- Well, this here.
720
00:57:23,705 --> 00:57:26,499
- Wha�s that?
- Your application for the academy.
721
00:57:26,708 --> 00:57:28,793
- Wha�s it say?
- Lots of questions.
722
00:57:29,001 --> 00:57:31,838
- For example?
- You have to repeat everything?
723
00:57:32,046 --> 00:57:36,634
- No, no.
- Now, le�s get down to...
724
00:57:37,927 --> 00:57:41,389
How about that Martha Henshaw
turning out to be a right chick?
725
00:57:41,597 --> 00:57:43,975
- Terrific.
- You can't knock her.
726
00:57:44,267 --> 00:57:48,020
She's honest and pretty,
beautiful, intelligent. Lovely girl.
727
00:57:48,229 --> 00:57:51,440
She could really have
fouled me up with Captain Riley.
728
00:57:51,649 --> 00:57:55,027
- But she made me a big man.
- Tha�s really terrific.
729
00:57:55,236 --> 00:57:57,363
- Yes, sir!
- Now, the appli...
730
00:57:57,571 --> 00:57:59,907
Hey, you sort of like her, huh?
731
00:58:00,116 --> 00:58:02,284
- Fair.
- Fair. Yeah, well.
732
00:58:02,493 --> 00:58:06,872
I think you like her a lot. I think
tha�s all you got on your mind.
733
00:58:07,081 --> 00:58:12,753
The only thing I got on my mind is trying
to get you into the police academy.
734
00:58:12,962 --> 00:58:16,382
- Martha, le�s fill this out.
- Whatever you say, Harriet.
735
00:58:16,590 --> 00:58:20,511
I was talking to Hilda on the phone
and she said there was no chance...
736
00:58:20,719 --> 00:58:23,222
Le�s get to the application, then.
737
00:58:23,430 --> 00:58:27,560
Le�s get to these requirements.
You're an American citizen, right?
738
00:58:27,768 --> 00:58:29,520
21 years of age or over, right?
739
00:58:29,728 --> 00:58:32,815
Sound of body? Right. Sound of mind?
740
00:58:33,023 --> 00:58:37,987
Could we go back to that question
a little later? I'd like to check on it.
741
00:58:38,195 --> 00:58:41,323
- Here's one.
- Where?
742
00:58:41,532 --> 00:58:44,785
They prefer that you speak
a foreign language.
743
00:58:44,993 --> 00:58:46,995
- Why?
- Suppose you were put on duty
744
00:58:47,204 --> 00:58:49,873
where they only spoke
a foreign language.
745
00:58:50,082 --> 00:58:54,253
You mean like Brooklyn? That makes
sense. I can speak Mongolian.
746
00:58:54,461 --> 00:58:57,130
- Yeah?
- You wanna hear?
747
00:59:03,804 --> 00:59:06,682
- You're kidding.
- Would I lie to you?
748
00:59:06,890 --> 00:59:10,519
But you've gotta
speak a normal foreign language.
749
00:59:10,727 --> 00:59:14,982
In high school, I took four years
of French. You wanna hear some?
750
00:59:19,027 --> 00:59:21,780
No.
751
00:59:26,743 --> 00:59:29,871
All right, we're wasting time.
We've got things to do.
752
00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:33,750
- Wha�s this?
- This is part of your entrance exam.
753
00:59:33,959 --> 00:59:36,753
I borrowed it from the police academy
for you.
754
00:59:36,962 --> 00:59:40,048
- Well, wha�s it do?
- Well, here.
755
00:59:40,257 --> 00:59:42,717
- There we go.
- I know what that is.
756
00:59:42,926 --> 00:59:44,970
- What is it?
- I don't know.
757
00:59:45,178 --> 00:59:47,806
I�s a test designed
to test your reactions.
758
00:59:48,014 --> 00:59:51,935
You take out all these little blocks,
mix them up all real good, see?
759
00:59:52,143 --> 00:59:56,106
In a given length of time, you put
the octagonal in the octagonal hole,
760
00:59:56,314 --> 00:59:58,233
the round one in the round hole.
761
00:59:58,441 --> 01:00:00,693
- Simple.
- You did very well.
762
01:00:00,902 --> 01:00:03,113
- Thank you.
- OK, wha�s next?
763
01:00:03,321 --> 01:00:05,532
No. I want you to work the blocks.
764
01:00:05,740 --> 01:00:08,868
- Wait a minute, tha�s for kids.
- Come on, try it.
765
01:00:09,077 --> 01:00:10,620
- No, but I...
- Please.
766
01:00:10,829 --> 01:00:13,206
- But I...
- Now!
767
01:00:13,414 --> 01:00:16,167
OK. I feel silly, because kids do this.
768
01:00:16,376 --> 01:00:18,670
- And I�s so simple.
- Out.
769
01:00:18,878 --> 01:00:20,880
- All of them?
- Yeah. All of them.
770
01:00:21,089 --> 01:00:23,591
- All right, now...?
- All right.
771
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:26,719
- Now!
- OK.
772
01:00:27,595 --> 01:00:33,101
How much time have I got to do this?
Here, I'll put this...
773
01:00:33,309 --> 01:00:36,104
They don't fit good
like when yours... was.
774
01:00:37,146 --> 01:00:41,692
You mustn't get mad, though, when...
They don't fit as good.
775
01:00:41,901 --> 01:00:45,238
Well, the kids I saw
were larger kids, maybe.
776
01:00:47,240 --> 01:00:49,617
You can just throw it right in it.
777
01:00:52,495 --> 01:00:55,122
How did yours fit in so nice
when you...?
778
01:00:55,331 --> 01:00:58,376
I�s hard to do this part.
779
01:00:59,460 --> 01:01:01,420
It don't work good with me.
780
01:01:01,629 --> 01:01:03,923
This... Maybe...
781
01:01:06,258 --> 01:01:09,762
You get awfully frustrated
when they don't...
782
01:01:10,513 --> 01:01:14,475
Maybe the kids were using
different kinds of blocks.
783
01:01:20,314 --> 01:01:22,942
I hurt it a little.
784
01:01:24,652 --> 01:01:26,403
Well, how was the time?
785
01:01:26,612 --> 01:01:30,282
I mean, I threw one away
when I was... And I...
786
01:01:30,491 --> 01:01:32,576
You see...
787
01:01:32,785 --> 01:01:35,788
What if I didn't...?
You can't close the box?
788
01:01:35,996 --> 01:01:38,791
But I mean, it fell into place like...
789
01:01:42,795 --> 01:01:44,421
How was it, then?
790
01:01:44,630 --> 01:01:47,091
Le�s get this application filled out.
791
01:01:47,299 --> 01:01:49,343
- Come in.
- Anybody home?
792
01:01:49,551 --> 01:01:51,512
- Look who's here.
- Hello, Sidney.
793
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:56,016
- Hello, Miss Henshaw. Just a minute.
- Thank you.
794
01:01:56,225 --> 01:01:58,268
- Hello.
- Hi!
795
01:01:58,477 --> 01:02:01,104
- I mean, how are you?
- Just fine.
796
01:02:01,313 --> 01:02:04,483
I stopped by to apologise.
I acted quite childish.
797
01:02:04,691 --> 01:02:09,279
No, I�s me who should apologise.
I talked with Captain Riley and...
798
01:02:09,488 --> 01:02:12,366
I mean, thanks for those kind words.
799
01:02:12,574 --> 01:02:14,534
Well, I know you boys are busy.
800
01:02:14,743 --> 01:02:16,787
- No, we're not!
- Yes, we are.
801
01:02:16,995 --> 01:02:20,165
I'm rehearsing because
I'm going into the police academy.
802
01:02:20,374 --> 01:02:24,586
Captain Riley told me. Good luck,
Sidney. I know you'll pass.
803
01:02:24,795 --> 01:02:30,383
- Well, I do have a date. I should be...
- Can't you stick around a while?
804
01:02:30,592 --> 01:02:35,305
How can she? I gotta learn about
the application and putting the blocks.
805
01:02:35,514 --> 01:02:40,018
You gotta teach me. Although I know it,
so you don't have to teach me nothing.
806
01:02:40,227 --> 01:02:43,563
Why don't you take Miss Henshaw home
and I'll work on this?
807
01:02:43,772 --> 01:02:46,066
That won't be necessary.
I can take a cab.
808
01:02:46,274 --> 01:02:48,318
- No, I insist!
- He insists.
809
01:02:48,526 --> 01:02:50,695
Yeah. Come on.
810
01:02:50,904 --> 01:02:54,908
Excuse me a minute. Sidney,
I want you to study this application.
811
01:02:55,116 --> 01:02:58,662
Fill out the questions.
I'll check with you when I get off work.
812
01:02:58,870 --> 01:03:02,874
- Listen. You don't like her at all, right?
- No.
813
01:03:04,959 --> 01:03:07,504
- Goodbye, Sidney.
- Goodbye, Miss Henshaw.
814
01:03:07,712 --> 01:03:09,297
Bye, kid.
815
01:03:11,424 --> 01:03:16,012
I'll lick you yet! This goes here whether
he likes it or not and that fits there.
816
01:03:16,221 --> 01:03:21,559
But it don't fit, so I won't do that.
I'll put this one here and that one there.
817
01:03:56,969 --> 01:03:58,721
Good morning, Officer.
818
01:03:58,930 --> 01:04:00,640
Good evening, Officer.
819
01:04:01,641 --> 01:04:03,684
How do you do, Officer?
820
01:04:43,432 --> 01:04:45,267
All right, hold it there.
821
01:04:45,476 --> 01:04:47,645
Come along, children.
822
01:04:47,853 --> 01:04:50,689
Hold it. Good morning, honey.
823
01:04:51,899 --> 01:04:53,609
Good afternoon, madam.
824
01:04:53,859 --> 01:04:56,320
Can I help you with your car?
825
01:04:56,528 --> 01:04:58,447
- Sidney!
- Just a minute.
826
01:04:59,698 --> 01:05:01,992
One second.
827
01:05:03,660 --> 01:05:05,788
Sidney!
828
01:05:05,996 --> 01:05:07,998
- Hello.
- What are you doing?
829
01:05:08,207 --> 01:05:10,209
- I'm playing a game.
- Forget it.
830
01:05:10,417 --> 01:05:14,171
- The lights and the dumb waiter?
- I fixed the dumb waiter.
831
01:05:14,379 --> 01:05:17,716
- You fixed it? It don't work!
- I don't understand.
832
01:05:17,925 --> 01:05:22,262
I'll show you. I don't understand,
because I worked hard on this thing.
833
01:05:22,471 --> 01:05:25,474
I worked and worked to
make sure that it was...
834
01:05:25,682 --> 01:05:27,559
- So you fixed it?
- I thought...
835
01:05:27,768 --> 01:05:31,813
- Get out of there! I'll fix it myself.
- Be careful of your head.
836
01:05:32,022 --> 01:05:33,857
- Get me a flashlight!
- But...
837
01:05:34,066 --> 01:05:38,695
- Shut up! Get me a flashlight!
- I will. I really don't understand this.
838
01:05:38,904 --> 01:05:44,367
Be careful you don't hurt yourself.
Your place can get... from in there.
839
01:05:50,165 --> 01:05:53,376
Sidney!
840
01:06:05,263 --> 01:06:07,057
Hello.
841
01:06:08,558 --> 01:06:11,394
I said hello. I think.
842
01:06:12,270 --> 01:06:14,773
- Goodbye.
- Sidney.
843
01:06:14,981 --> 01:06:17,025
Yeah?
844
01:06:17,233 --> 01:06:20,195
- Sidney, am I unattractive?
- No, ma'am.
845
01:06:20,403 --> 01:06:22,906
Am I old, decrepit, witchlike?
846
01:06:23,114 --> 01:06:27,702
- No.
- Then why do you ignore me?
847
01:06:27,911 --> 01:06:31,122
I'm 21 years old
and whether you know it or not,
848
01:06:31,331 --> 01:06:34,250
in demand by young men
who would love to take me out.
849
01:06:35,627 --> 01:06:40,715
I know that. I know you're in constant
demand. I know a lot about you.
850
01:06:40,923 --> 01:06:45,053
You're 21, you were born in Albany,
you're studying to be a nurse.
851
01:06:45,261 --> 01:06:48,973
You're young, pretty, in demand
with fellas and you smell nice.
852
01:06:49,182 --> 01:06:50,767
Well, why in the world...?
853
01:06:50,975 --> 01:06:53,603
Because I'm nothing.
You don't deserve that.
854
01:06:53,811 --> 01:06:57,356
Wait till I�s something.
When I'm something, I'll talk to you.
855
01:06:57,565 --> 01:07:00,109
I don't think you should be with nothing.
856
01:07:00,318 --> 01:07:03,112
I'll be something.
Until then, no hugging.
857
01:07:03,321 --> 01:07:06,115
Or kissing and things,
with smelling nice.
858
01:07:06,324 --> 01:07:08,868
I'll be somebody
and then I�ll be right.
859
01:07:09,076 --> 01:07:13,331
But I'm not now, so I�s no good
at all to be with you.
860
01:07:13,539 --> 01:07:16,083
When I'm somebody,
and I�ll be sooner than you
861
01:07:16,292 --> 01:07:21,630
and a lot of people think, I'll be
something, then I'll talk to you.
862
01:07:21,839 --> 01:07:24,050
I'll empty your wastebasket.
863
01:07:24,258 --> 01:07:26,260
You smell nice.
864
01:07:29,388 --> 01:07:32,892
Dropped a few of those things.
865
01:07:49,950 --> 01:07:52,202
- Is this it?
- This is it, kid.
866
01:07:52,411 --> 01:07:56,832
Mike, I'm gonna pass my entrance
examinations with flying colours.
867
01:07:57,041 --> 01:08:01,754
You can do it, kid. You can do it
as well as anybody else, Sidney.
868
01:08:01,962 --> 01:08:04,798
- You're gonna be a police officer.
- I'm going home.
869
01:08:05,007 --> 01:08:07,050
- You stay here.
- I'm scared.
870
01:08:07,259 --> 01:08:10,971
After you pass your examinations,
you're over the first hurdle.
871
01:08:11,180 --> 01:08:13,932
I'm still scared.
Maybe you could help me.
872
01:08:14,141 --> 01:08:17,394
Tha�s another thing.
Remember, I'm a police officer.
873
01:08:17,603 --> 01:08:21,773
As far as you're concerned,
I've gotta take an unbiased attitude.
874
01:08:21,982 --> 01:08:25,319
But after work at night,
I'll help you out a little.
875
01:08:25,527 --> 01:08:27,571
- Good. Thanks.
- Good luck, kid.
876
01:08:27,779 --> 01:08:30,198
- Thank you.
- Goodbye.
877
01:08:38,415 --> 01:08:40,208
- Next.
- Yes, sir.
878
01:08:40,417 --> 01:08:42,127
- Name?
- William C Goerner.
879
01:08:42,335 --> 01:08:47,883
Goerner. Your temporary serial
number is 016439712. You got that?
880
01:08:48,091 --> 01:08:51,803
Yes, sir. My temporary
serial number is 016439712.
881
01:08:52,012 --> 01:08:55,849
Fill out this entrance examination,
answering all required questions.
882
01:08:56,057 --> 01:09:00,895
Then proceed to be graded, third floor,
room 305, by Sergeant Rose,
883
01:09:01,104 --> 01:09:03,189
after which report to section nine,
884
01:09:03,398 --> 01:09:06,818
personal analysis, B Unit,
Sergeant Brown. Is that clear?
885
01:09:07,027 --> 01:09:10,447
I fill out the examination,
answering all required questions.
886
01:09:10,655 --> 01:09:14,701
I then proceed to be graded,
third floor, Room 305, Sergeant Rose.
887
01:09:14,909 --> 01:09:19,831
I then report to section nine, personal
analysis, Unit B, Sergeant Brown.
888
01:09:20,039 --> 01:09:23,084
Right. Next.
889
01:09:23,293 --> 01:09:24,961
- Yes, sir.
- Name?
890
01:09:25,170 --> 01:09:27,589
Pythias. Sidney L. Pythias.
891
01:09:27,797 --> 01:09:29,883
Peentakiss.
892
01:09:30,091 --> 01:09:34,262
No, sir, I beg your pardon,
tha�s Pythias. P-Y-T-H-I-A-S.
893
01:09:34,470 --> 01:09:37,599
- Tha�s what I said. Pinktinius.
- No, there's no pink.
894
01:09:37,807 --> 01:09:43,396
I�s a Pyth. P-Y-T-H-I-A-S
is Pythias. There's no pink in it.
895
01:09:43,604 --> 01:09:47,525
- Puntangginius, your temporary...
- Where'd you get Puntangginius?
896
01:09:47,734 --> 01:09:50,820
There's no puntang in it.
There's no pink, not even...
897
01:09:51,029 --> 01:09:54,282
I�s plain Pyth.
P-Y-T-H-I-A-S, Pythias.
898
01:09:54,490 --> 01:09:59,036
Your temporary serial
number is 016439713.
899
01:09:59,245 --> 01:10:01,289
- You got that?
- No puntang.
900
01:10:01,497 --> 01:10:04,667
You said Puntanggini.
Just a second, please excuse me.
901
01:10:04,876 --> 01:10:08,129
I�s not Puntanahah,
I�s Pythias... Excuse me.
902
01:10:08,337 --> 01:10:11,257
I�s Pyth... P-Y-T-H-I-A-S.
903
01:10:11,465 --> 01:10:14,927
- I�s Pythias.
- I am not interested in your name.
904
01:10:15,136 --> 01:10:17,013
Did you get that serial number?
905
01:10:17,221 --> 01:10:20,725
My serial number?
Yeah, 0 and 2 was there...
906
01:10:20,933 --> 01:10:23,102
- Was...?
- Never mind.
907
01:10:23,311 --> 01:10:26,564
- I�s written on the application.
- So I don't need it.
908
01:10:26,772 --> 01:10:31,277
All right, you're section five, so you'll
go to Room 619, sixth floor, Unit B
909
01:10:31,485 --> 01:10:33,487
and ask for Sergeant Mizakowski.
910
01:10:33,696 --> 01:10:36,991
He'll give you an AMR number
and assign you. You got that?
911
01:10:37,199 --> 01:10:41,745
Yes, sir. I go up to the floor
and I�s Room 69.
912
01:10:41,954 --> 01:10:46,792
And there's a Sergeant Misan,
and he'll give me an A and P number.
913
01:10:47,001 --> 01:10:50,337
Six-nineteen. Room...
914
01:10:50,546 --> 01:10:53,090
- Now you got me mixed up.
- 619. I got it now.
915
01:10:53,299 --> 01:10:55,676
- I�s Mizakowski.
- Sergeant Mizandhidin.
916
01:10:55,884 --> 01:10:57,928
Sergeant Mizakowski.
917
01:10:58,137 --> 01:11:00,431
Pythias. P-Y-T-H-I-A-S is my name.
918
01:11:00,639 --> 01:11:02,975
I thought I was Mizankouzin. See?
919
01:11:03,183 --> 01:11:05,853
- Listen to me, mister.
- Yes, sir.
920
01:11:06,061 --> 01:11:08,689
- Just get up there.
- Where, sir?
921
01:11:08,897 --> 01:11:13,902
Anywhere. I don't care, ad-lib it,
do anything, but get out of here!
922
01:11:14,111 --> 01:11:16,113
Yes, I will. Do I get my papers?
923
01:11:16,321 --> 01:11:21,118
Mizanhausen is on the sixth place
with the 19th... Very difficult.
924
01:11:21,326 --> 01:11:23,745
- Next.
- Yes, sir.
925
01:11:23,954 --> 01:11:27,916
- Name?
- Mizakowski. Chester A. Mizakowski.
926
01:11:30,752 --> 01:11:34,506
How would you like a punch
in the mouth?
927
01:11:37,634 --> 01:11:41,096
Say, is this where they told me?
928
01:11:41,930 --> 01:11:45,183
They said to come to the room.
929
01:11:46,977 --> 01:11:49,020
This here?
930
01:11:50,480 --> 01:11:53,108
Are you Sergeant Mizenkozen?
931
01:11:53,316 --> 01:11:57,988
This is your first step in the examination
and you've got 30 seconds to do it.
932
01:11:58,196 --> 01:12:02,200
The box. This is the box
with the squares,
933
01:12:02,409 --> 01:12:05,745
the rectangulars and octagoganals.
I worked with that.
934
01:12:05,954 --> 01:12:10,083
This is a snap, 30 seconds to do.
I�s a different box.
935
01:12:11,126 --> 01:12:13,837
Left hut!
936
01:12:15,630 --> 01:12:18,049
Right face!
937
01:12:34,566 --> 01:12:36,651
Parade front!
938
01:12:39,404 --> 01:12:41,447
Left face!
939
01:12:41,781 --> 01:12:44,867
One step forward! March!
940
01:12:45,868 --> 01:12:48,121
Left face!
941
01:12:48,871 --> 01:12:50,873
Forward march!
942
01:12:51,082 --> 01:12:53,543
Hut, hut.
943
01:12:54,293 --> 01:12:55,962
Rear march!
944
01:12:56,170 --> 01:12:57,755
Rear march!
945
01:12:57,964 --> 01:13:01,300
Rear march!
946
01:13:01,509 --> 01:13:03,636
Rear march!
947
01:13:06,347 --> 01:13:08,391
Halt!
948
01:13:29,078 --> 01:13:33,624
First of all, be sure the ink is distributed
thinly and evenly on the glass plate.
949
01:13:33,833 --> 01:13:38,963
Then taking the hand, firmly take the
thumb, or whatever finger you'd use,
950
01:13:39,171 --> 01:13:42,007
roll it on the glass plate
from left to right.
951
01:13:42,216 --> 01:13:44,593
Transfer in the same
manner to the record.
952
01:13:44,802 --> 01:13:47,096
Now, we'll try it with you first.
953
01:13:47,304 --> 01:13:51,141
- All right? You'd rather have this hand?
- I'm nervous.
954
01:13:51,350 --> 01:13:54,395
It makes no difference.
The chart has for both hands.
955
01:13:54,603 --> 01:13:57,147
Now, just relax. Tha�s it.
956
01:13:57,356 --> 01:14:00,484
- I never been fingerprinted before.
- Doesn't hurt.
957
01:14:00,693 --> 01:14:04,238
Just relax. Now, we'll put it right here...
958
01:14:05,656 --> 01:14:08,450
- I'm sorry, but I'm nervous.
- I said to relax.
959
01:14:08,659 --> 01:14:12,371
- I will.
- Just relax your hand. All right, now.
960
01:14:12,579 --> 01:14:15,290
- Relax your hand.
- I'm trying, but I'm nervous.
961
01:14:15,499 --> 01:14:19,044
I'll tell you what. We will ink
the tips of the four fingers
962
01:14:19,253 --> 01:14:24,883
and transfer them in the same manner.
All right? Now, relax. Tha�s it.
963
01:14:26,677 --> 01:14:28,720
Well, I�s just that I was nervous.
964
01:14:28,929 --> 01:14:32,224
Don't get mad. I was just
gonna say that I'm nervous.
965
01:14:32,432 --> 01:14:38,188
I didn't mean... What I meant
to say was that because of this...
966
01:14:38,397 --> 01:14:42,359
- Wipe it off.
- Wipe it off?
967
01:14:42,567 --> 01:14:46,488
Well, I'm awfully sorry, sir,
but I'm nervous.
968
01:14:47,781 --> 01:14:49,866
A little will help it, I think.
969
01:14:50,075 --> 01:14:53,995
- Wipe it off.
- Yes, sir. I'm awfully sorry about...
970
01:14:54,204 --> 01:14:58,291
Maybe I got a different rag to get it.
971
01:15:31,324 --> 01:15:36,204
Today we're covering an important
facet of police work. Self-defence.
972
01:15:36,412 --> 01:15:40,792
We're very fortunate today in
having with us the Great Togo.
973
01:15:41,000 --> 01:15:44,212
He has graciously consented
to give us a demonstration
974
01:15:44,420 --> 01:15:46,756
in the art of sumo wrestling.
975
01:15:59,143 --> 01:16:01,187
How do you do, Mr Togo?
976
01:16:02,939 --> 01:16:04,899
How would you like to proceed?
977
01:16:10,863 --> 01:16:12,907
He would like to pick an opponent.
978
01:16:13,116 --> 01:16:16,994
Fine. Come on in.
Here are the boys.
979
01:16:40,476 --> 01:16:42,978
He prefers this young man.
980
01:16:43,187 --> 01:16:46,107
I don't wanna
tell Mr Togo his business here,
981
01:16:46,315 --> 01:16:49,443
but you'd better tell him
that I'd better wrestle him.
982
01:16:59,537 --> 01:17:02,498
He still prefers this man to wrestle with.
983
01:17:02,706 --> 01:17:05,292
Well, Excuse... I mean...
984
01:17:05,501 --> 01:17:10,547
Would you be good enough to ask him
for me, please, why he wants me?
985
01:17:20,349 --> 01:17:24,436
- What did he say?
- Because you look Japanese.
986
01:17:24,645 --> 01:17:27,356
Because I look Japanese.
987
01:17:28,816 --> 01:17:31,485
Oh, well...
988
01:17:31,693 --> 01:17:34,571
- If tha�s the way you want it.
- No, wait a minute.
989
01:17:34,780 --> 01:17:37,074
I�s all right.
He could have chosen anyone,
990
01:17:37,282 --> 01:17:40,994
but he picked me and tha�s fine,
except I don't think I�s fair.
991
01:17:41,203 --> 01:17:46,917
- No, I don't think I�s fair either.
- No, I'm taller and he can get hurt.
992
01:17:47,125 --> 01:17:50,712
All right, men! Disperse around
the edge of the mat. Sit down.
993
01:17:50,921 --> 01:17:54,591
Mr Terry. All right. Now, then, Mr Terry,
how do we begin?
994
01:17:54,800 --> 01:17:57,427
Assume the first position.
995
01:17:59,971 --> 01:18:02,641
He told me to take this place.
996
01:18:02,849 --> 01:18:04,476
Go!
997
01:18:08,814 --> 01:18:11,191
- Now what?
- Approach the opponent.
998
01:18:30,335 --> 01:18:32,712
Oh, wait a second. What a scare job!
999
01:18:32,921 --> 01:18:35,131
Hey, wait one second, please.
1000
01:18:35,340 --> 01:18:39,094
Don't hurt me. I mean, le�s talk a little.
1001
01:18:40,887 --> 01:18:45,141
What? Wait.
Friday, if I can get the car, all right?
1002
01:18:46,142 --> 01:18:49,270
- What did he say?
- He says, "Don't be afraid!"
1003
01:18:49,479 --> 01:18:52,732
I guess I�s silly.
Wha�s there to be... afraid of?
1004
01:18:52,941 --> 01:18:55,068
Wait a second. Don't you help me.
1005
01:18:55,276 --> 01:18:57,320
There's plenty to be afraid of. Wait.
1006
01:18:57,528 --> 01:19:01,532
The "inferityority" complex with
the smoking, I think, is what did it.
1007
01:19:01,741 --> 01:19:06,329
Sure, you're short, but don't take
it out on me. Wait a second!
1008
01:19:06,537 --> 01:19:11,167
I can be tough and rough, too. Don't go
with scaring me. I can scare a little, too.
1009
01:19:13,169 --> 01:19:14,879
Wait! Wait a minute.
1010
01:19:15,088 --> 01:19:19,717
I don't need this. With pain,
with hurting, with killing and hurts.
1011
01:19:19,926 --> 01:19:23,054
I shouldn't have volunteered
in the first place. No!
1012
01:19:23,262 --> 01:19:27,850
Judo. Tha�s good. Tha�s very...
Tha�s good judo.
1013
01:19:28,059 --> 01:19:29,644
He's got me now!
1014
01:19:29,852 --> 01:19:36,025
But try one of these! I got him.
He's a little heavy, but I think I got him.
1015
01:19:36,233 --> 01:19:38,027
Look at this, he'll never get...
1016
01:19:38,235 --> 01:19:41,030
I don't wanna do nothing no more.
Don't fight me.
1017
01:19:41,238 --> 01:19:44,367
Pick somebody else.
Don't do nothing, I�s not gonna...
1018
01:19:44,575 --> 01:19:46,827
I think I'm immune, 'cause you hit...
1019
01:19:47,036 --> 01:19:50,706
I�s nothing, you see,
I think you can hit me...
1020
01:20:10,684 --> 01:20:13,020
- Are you serious?
- No, I'm kidding.
1021
01:20:46,303 --> 01:20:47,763
- OK?
- Yeah.
1022
01:20:47,971 --> 01:20:50,807
- You feel better now?
- Tha�s fine.
1023
01:20:51,016 --> 01:20:53,060
- Mike?
- Here.
1024
01:20:53,268 --> 01:20:56,396
- Wow, he was a fat one, wasn't he?
- He was.
1025
01:20:56,605 --> 01:20:59,608
You shouldn't do that.
You can get yourself killed.
1026
01:20:59,816 --> 01:21:03,779
I had to do it. I knew I was
goofing in some of my classes.
1027
01:21:03,987 --> 01:21:06,823
I didn't want the other guys
to think I was scared.
1028
01:21:07,032 --> 01:21:10,702
Don't worry about the other guys!
You're doing fine. Keep it up.
1029
01:21:10,911 --> 01:21:12,537
- Am I really?
- Yeah!
1030
01:21:12,746 --> 01:21:16,333
I gotta go. My class for principles
of local government. See you.
1031
01:21:16,541 --> 01:21:18,543
All right, boy. Goodbye.
1032
01:21:22,130 --> 01:21:24,257
Hi, Johnny.
1033
01:21:24,466 --> 01:21:27,344
- Hello, Mike. Wasn't that Pythias?
- Yeah.
1034
01:21:27,552 --> 01:21:30,138
Say, how's he doing?
1035
01:21:31,765 --> 01:21:34,976
Fair. We might have to wash him out.
1036
01:21:35,185 --> 01:21:40,607
No, Johnny, you gotta do me a favour.
He's gotta get every possible break.
1037
01:21:40,815 --> 01:21:42,692
We know how you feel about him...
1038
01:21:42,901 --> 01:21:46,529
Please, Johnny! If I�s possible,
we've gotta get him through.
1039
01:21:46,738 --> 01:21:49,491
If he isn't police officer material,
he'll fail.
1040
01:21:49,699 --> 01:21:52,327
We can't show any favouritism,
you know that.
1041
01:21:52,535 --> 01:21:54,954
The next phase will make or break him.
1042
01:21:55,163 --> 01:21:59,918
Tomorrow night, he goes on police
patrol with a proven police officer.
1043
01:22:00,126 --> 01:22:02,837
If he gets by that, he should make it.
1044
01:22:03,046 --> 01:22:05,506
Yeah. Thanks.
1045
01:22:16,350 --> 01:22:20,271
Have something to eat, Mike.
I�s delicious.
1046
01:22:20,480 --> 01:22:23,065
I'm not very hungry, thanks.
1047
01:22:24,692 --> 01:22:26,819
Sidney trouble?
1048
01:22:29,447 --> 01:22:33,659
I hate to seem impatient with you,
but a girl can get bored,
1049
01:22:33,868 --> 01:22:36,704
having her evenings spoiled
by the ghost of Sidney.
1050
01:22:36,913 --> 01:22:40,499
- Don't start that again.
- I'm afraid I have to start it again.
1051
01:22:40,708 --> 01:22:44,754
Unfortunately, I'm an important
part of this whole situation.
1052
01:22:44,962 --> 01:22:48,716
I like you, Mike. Very much.
1053
01:22:49,133 --> 01:22:52,636
- I think you like me.
- You know I do.
1054
01:22:52,845 --> 01:22:57,349
I've got enough ego to wish I were
as important in your thoughts as Sidney.
1055
01:22:58,434 --> 01:23:02,813
- Am I, Mike?
- What are you trying to do, Martha?
1056
01:23:03,022 --> 01:23:06,567
Box me into a corner? You know
how much that kid means to me.
1057
01:23:06,775 --> 01:23:10,321
Yes, I do. Now I wanna know
how much I mean to you.
1058
01:23:16,493 --> 01:23:19,913
OK. I'm not gonna
play games with you.
1059
01:23:20,122 --> 01:23:22,583
I like you very much.
1060
01:23:23,000 --> 01:23:27,713
I like you more than any other
woman I've ever known.
1061
01:23:27,921 --> 01:23:31,592
But I think we better get something
understood right now.
1062
01:23:31,800 --> 01:23:36,138
You take me, you take the kid.
And tha�s only the beginning.
1063
01:23:36,346 --> 01:23:39,141
There'll be other Sidneys,
hundreds of them.
1064
01:23:39,433 --> 01:23:43,604
Kids that need help. They'll always be
an important part of my life.
1065
01:23:43,812 --> 01:23:47,816
- I see. I'm sort of third in this league.
- I didn't say that.
1066
01:23:48,025 --> 01:23:52,487
You don't think you did, but I�s
third place, barely in the money.
1067
01:23:52,696 --> 01:23:57,284
I'm sorry, but I've got to be a winner.
Or at least share first position.
1068
01:24:02,998 --> 01:24:05,625
- Mike?
- Yeah?
1069
01:24:05,834 --> 01:24:09,171
I wanted you to call me back.
1070
01:24:10,714 --> 01:24:14,384
Would you also want me to lie to you?
1071
01:24:16,178 --> 01:24:20,140
No. I wouldn't.
1072
01:24:44,414 --> 01:24:46,583
- Yeah.
- This is me, Sidney.
1073
01:24:46,791 --> 01:24:49,836
Excuse me, I know that
you're over there with Martha.
1074
01:24:50,044 --> 01:24:52,380
But I'm just working
on my examinations
1075
01:24:52,589 --> 01:24:55,049
and I'm not doing so good.
Could you help me?
1076
01:24:55,258 --> 01:24:57,594
Sure, kid, come right on over.
1077
01:24:57,802 --> 01:25:00,180
I can come over? Well, thanks a lot.
1078
01:25:00,388 --> 01:25:03,683
- You're sure Martha won't care?
- No, Sidney.
1079
01:25:03,892 --> 01:25:07,604
OK. I'll be right over, Mike.
Thank you very much. Goodbye.
1080
01:25:10,565 --> 01:25:12,900
Where you going, Sidney?
1081
01:25:14,485 --> 01:25:16,529
I'm going somewhere.
1082
01:25:17,655 --> 01:25:22,118
- I said I have to go somewhere.
- You're sure busy lately, kid.
1083
01:25:22,326 --> 01:25:24,412
What with police school and stuff.
1084
01:25:24,620 --> 01:25:27,832
Forgetting all about
your old friends, Sidney.
1085
01:25:28,040 --> 01:25:32,253
- What do you guys want?
- We don't want nothing, Sidney.
1086
01:25:32,462 --> 01:25:34,797
We're just trying to be sociable.
1087
01:25:35,006 --> 01:25:38,217
Thought we'd see how
you're doing at the police academy.
1088
01:25:38,426 --> 01:25:40,887
Gonna be a cop, huh, Sidney?
1089
01:25:41,095 --> 01:25:43,806
Yeah, I'm gonna be a cop.
If they'll have me.
1090
01:25:44,015 --> 01:25:50,021
What a snap for guys like us if they
load the force with goofs like you.
1091
01:25:50,229 --> 01:25:53,065
You're really going ahead
with this thing, kid?
1092
01:25:53,816 --> 01:25:57,403
- Yes, I'm going ahead with it.
- You gotta be nuts.
1093
01:25:57,611 --> 01:26:00,030
Wha�s the matter, you wanna be legit?
1094
01:26:00,239 --> 01:26:02,491
Yeah. Wha�s so strange about that?
1095
01:26:03,409 --> 01:26:06,370
Don't you know every cop's a sucker?
He's a chump.
1096
01:26:06,579 --> 01:26:08,956
He don't make enough
to buy cigarettes.
1097
01:26:09,165 --> 01:26:13,711
And he's a patsy, a 14-carat
patsy for every sharpie in town.
1098
01:26:13,919 --> 01:26:15,838
- Is that so?
- Yeah.
1099
01:26:16,046 --> 01:26:18,966
Well, let me tell you something,
Mr Smart Alec.
1100
01:26:19,717 --> 01:26:24,471
A police officer happens to have
the respect of decent people,
1101
01:26:24,680 --> 01:26:27,516
which eliminates you
and your friends, Monk.
1102
01:26:27,725 --> 01:26:30,811
Let him alone!
1103
01:26:31,020 --> 01:26:34,606
Come on, Artie. Let him alone.
Get out of here!
1104
01:26:49,079 --> 01:26:51,790
Maybe I got you figured all wrong.
1105
01:26:51,999 --> 01:26:56,795
- Maybe you're smarter than I figured.
- How do you mean?
1106
01:26:57,004 --> 01:26:58,922
The angle.
1107
01:26:59,131 --> 01:27:02,134
- What angle?
- Well, yours.
1108
01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:07,556
You gotta have one. Look, Sidney,
nobody does nothing without an angle.
1109
01:27:07,764 --> 01:27:12,144
Let me in on it,
maybe I can make it easier for you.
1110
01:27:12,352 --> 01:27:14,980
- You're crazy, Monk.
- I'm what?
1111
01:27:15,188 --> 01:27:20,819
You gotta be nutty, 'cause you figure
that the whole world is built sideways
1112
01:27:21,027 --> 01:27:24,614
and everybody's looking to
put a finger on everybody else.
1113
01:27:24,823 --> 01:27:27,617
- That don't add up?
- No, that don't.
1114
01:27:27,826 --> 01:27:31,162
All right, fat mouth, why don't you
show me where I'm wrong?
1115
01:27:31,371 --> 01:27:36,501
Maybe you're perfect? A janitor
making 60 stinking bucks a month
1116
01:27:36,710 --> 01:27:39,004
to wrestle garbage
people throw at you.
1117
01:27:39,212 --> 01:27:42,590
The same people that laugh
at you, spit at you!
1118
01:27:42,799 --> 01:27:46,720
You're a fine one to tell me that
there's a shining light somewhere!
1119
01:27:46,928 --> 01:27:48,680
Yeah? Well, I'm gonna...
1120
01:27:48,888 --> 01:27:54,811
You're gonna wind up like me, kicking
and scratching every inch of the way!
1121
01:27:55,019 --> 01:27:56,896
Look, Sidney, wise up.
1122
01:27:57,105 --> 01:28:00,692
There ain't no short cuts.
Man, you gotta draw blood!
1123
01:28:00,900 --> 01:28:03,027
Well, you're wrong, Monk.
1124
01:28:03,236 --> 01:28:05,321
You're all wrong, see?
1125
01:28:05,530 --> 01:28:07,866
'Cause nobody's gotta get hurt.
1126
01:28:08,074 --> 01:28:12,453
See, I used to be like you, Monk,
and I got lucky.
1127
01:28:12,662 --> 01:28:18,001
I found out I was wrong. That
nobody's looking to break your back.
1128
01:28:18,209 --> 01:28:21,629
There's an awful lot of nice
people in this world, Monk,
1129
01:28:21,838 --> 01:28:23,715
and I just wanna be one of them.
1130
01:28:27,927 --> 01:28:29,762
Yeah.
1131
01:28:29,971 --> 01:28:34,350
Well, you listen to me, Sidney,
and you listen hard.
1132
01:28:34,559 --> 01:28:36,894
You ain't got a chance.
1133
01:28:37,103 --> 01:28:40,648
Because guys like you
and me are born losers
1134
01:28:40,857 --> 01:28:43,192
and we gotta come up empty.
1135
01:28:43,401 --> 01:28:45,611
There ain't no other way.
1136
01:28:47,238 --> 01:28:49,407
But I got a clue for you.
1137
01:28:49,615 --> 01:28:54,662
Before I go under,
I'm gonna make a lot of noise.
1138
01:29:00,418 --> 01:29:03,462
Monk, why didn't you
let me belt that jerk?
1139
01:29:03,671 --> 01:29:06,841
- Wha�d you stop me for?
- I got confused.
1140
01:29:07,049 --> 01:29:09,093
- Confused?
- Yeah.
1141
01:29:09,718 --> 01:29:13,556
He made sense.
Le�s get out of here.
1142
01:29:15,266 --> 01:29:19,270
This phase in your training is
probably the most important one.
1143
01:29:19,478 --> 01:29:24,316
A chance for you to prove how you'll
function under typical circumstances.
1144
01:29:24,525 --> 01:29:28,195
Each one of you cadets will be
paired off with a police officer,
1145
01:29:28,404 --> 01:29:31,198
who will judge you on your performance.
1146
01:29:31,407 --> 01:29:35,536
You've now had 12 full weeks
of police training,
1147
01:29:35,744 --> 01:29:39,707
but should an emergency arise, you're
to make no decisions on your own.
1148
01:29:39,915 --> 01:29:43,836
But you're to look to him for
whatever solution is necessary.
1149
01:29:44,044 --> 01:29:47,756
And remember this,
you're under arms.
1150
01:29:47,965 --> 01:29:51,426
Don't touch that gun unless you
intend to shoot somebody.
1151
01:29:51,635 --> 01:29:56,181
And if you do, you'd better
have a sound reason.
1152
01:29:57,516 --> 01:29:59,309
Dismissed.
1153
01:30:00,894 --> 01:30:05,065
Mike, I'm all excited.
I wonder what part of town we'll get.
1154
01:30:05,274 --> 01:30:10,237
Well, I�ll look familiar to you, kid.
I�s your neighbourhood.
1155
01:30:21,081 --> 01:30:24,126
- Good evening, sir.
- Hello, Officer.
1156
01:30:27,587 --> 01:30:30,507
- Hi, Officer.
- Good evening, ma'am.
1157
01:30:36,388 --> 01:30:39,140
- Nice night.
- Get out of here!
1158
01:30:40,058 --> 01:30:44,312
It happens.
It is a nice evening, though, isn't it?
1159
01:30:44,521 --> 01:30:48,608
- Nice and quiet.
- A day without trouble is a plus.
1160
01:30:48,817 --> 01:30:52,862
- I was looking forward to a little action.
- Yeah?
1161
01:30:59,160 --> 01:31:00,954
Come on, we'd better go.
1162
01:31:03,790 --> 01:31:07,502
She's gonna have a baby!
Take her to the hospital. Mama.
1163
01:31:07,710 --> 01:31:11,381
Where's the telephone? I'll call
the ambulance. The telephone.
1164
01:31:15,677 --> 01:31:17,470
Where you going? You stay here!
1165
01:31:17,679 --> 01:31:19,180
- Me?
- Yeah, you!
1166
01:31:19,389 --> 01:31:23,476
- What if the baby...?
- Relax. She's got plenty of time.
1167
01:31:31,567 --> 01:31:33,945
Lady, don't do nothing.
1168
01:31:35,071 --> 01:31:38,407
I mean, ma'am,
they went to get a hospital
1169
01:31:38,616 --> 01:31:44,330
to come here to take you
to the ambulance. So, relax.
1170
01:31:47,792 --> 01:31:50,044
Well, just take it easy, ma'am.
1171
01:31:51,128 --> 01:31:53,256
Don't do nothing now.
1172
01:31:53,464 --> 01:31:55,591
Could you wait
just a few minutes?
1173
01:31:55,800 --> 01:31:59,261
How long does it take to
make a phone call, lady?
1174
01:31:59,679 --> 01:32:03,683
You see, because...
What is it?
1175
01:32:03,891 --> 01:32:07,269
Wait, please.
Just do me a favour, would you?
1176
01:32:07,478 --> 01:32:11,023
Personal. Wait, because...
They'll be right back.
1177
01:32:11,232 --> 01:32:13,442
Take your mind off it
for a second, lady.
1178
01:32:13,651 --> 01:32:16,529
If you took your
mind off it, you'll feel better.
1179
01:32:16,737 --> 01:32:19,281
Like I play baseball.
You like baseball?
1180
01:32:19,490 --> 01:32:22,535
Once, I was playing baseball...
Listen to this.
1181
01:32:22,743 --> 01:32:25,162
Please wait! They'll be back...
1182
01:32:25,371 --> 01:32:28,415
Oh, lady. Lady, wait!
1183
01:32:28,624 --> 01:32:35,339
Please, lady, wait!
I'm highly emotional. Wait!
1184
01:32:36,423 --> 01:32:39,635
Wha�s the matter?
Does it take an hour to get here?
1185
01:32:41,261 --> 01:32:43,138
Come on.
1186
01:32:43,639 --> 01:32:45,974
Here, boys. Ma'am, is...?
1187
01:32:47,518 --> 01:32:48,977
Sidney, wh...?
1188
01:32:49,186 --> 01:32:53,440
Look, Mike, I�s a boy baby!
1189
01:32:53,649 --> 01:32:58,278
And she wants to name him Sidney!
Ain't that nice?
1190
01:32:58,487 --> 01:33:03,617
It sure is.
1191
01:33:12,250 --> 01:33:17,839
Car 119. Go to 16th Street alley
entrance. Illegal entry.
1192
01:33:18,048 --> 01:33:21,468
- Isn't that us?
- Here's the action you asked for.
1193
01:33:24,638 --> 01:33:28,892
- May be real trouble this time.
- Yeah, it could be, kid.
1194
01:34:35,583 --> 01:34:39,170
Easy, boy, easy!
I�s only a flesh wound.
1195
01:34:39,379 --> 01:34:43,132
Who in the devil shot him?
That wasn't necessary.
1196
01:34:43,341 --> 01:34:45,468
You didn't have to shoot me.
1197
01:34:45,676 --> 01:34:48,513
- You didn't have to shoot me.
- Take it easy, son.
1198
01:34:48,721 --> 01:34:50,640
Call an ambulance.
1199
01:34:50,848 --> 01:34:53,392
- Let me have your gun.
- Yes, sir.
1200
01:34:54,435 --> 01:34:56,020
Yours.
1201
01:34:57,563 --> 01:35:00,233
All right, Carl. Let me see yours.
1202
01:35:00,441 --> 01:35:04,153
- Where is it?
- I don't know, sir. I had...
1203
01:35:04,362 --> 01:35:06,864
- That it?
- Yes, sir.
1204
01:35:07,073 --> 01:35:09,450
You've got some explaining to do.
1205
01:35:09,659 --> 01:35:11,702
- Wait a minute.
- He did it, sarge.
1206
01:35:11,911 --> 01:35:16,040
- He shot me, I saw him!
- That ain't true. You're lying, Artie!
1207
01:35:16,248 --> 01:35:19,001
I ain't lying! You shot me, copper!
1208
01:35:20,169 --> 01:35:23,589
I didn't, Mike. I didn't. He's lying.
1209
01:35:23,798 --> 01:35:26,509
Honest. I didn't do it.
1210
01:35:26,717 --> 01:35:28,969
- He assigned to you?
- Yes, sir.
1211
01:35:29,178 --> 01:35:33,432
Take him to Captain Riley. Carl, stay
with this boy till the ambulance comes.
1212
01:35:33,641 --> 01:35:35,559
You, come with me.
1213
01:35:36,810 --> 01:35:39,146
Artie, tell them I didn't shoot you.
1214
01:35:39,355 --> 01:35:42,316
Yes, you did. You shot me, copper.
1215
01:35:42,524 --> 01:35:44,818
- You're lying, Artie.
- I ain't lying.
1216
01:35:45,027 --> 01:35:48,781
- Artie, you're lying.
- I ain't lying. You shot me!
1217
01:35:57,247 --> 01:35:58,999
Sidney...
1218
01:36:05,506 --> 01:36:07,716
You're a loser, Sidney!
1219
01:36:32,365 --> 01:36:34,409
- Hello, Mike.
- Yeah.
1220
01:36:34,618 --> 01:36:38,246
- I heard about Sidney.
- You should feel real good.
1221
01:36:38,455 --> 01:36:41,791
- He's in bad trouble.
- I feel just delighted, Mike.
1222
01:36:42,000 --> 01:36:45,921
I came to volunteer
my services as his attorney.
1223
01:36:50,050 --> 01:36:52,385
- I'm sorry.
- All I want from you
1224
01:36:52,594 --> 01:36:54,888
are the facts
on what happened last night.
1225
01:36:55,096 --> 01:36:57,932
OK.
Fact number one. It was an accident.
1226
01:36:58,141 --> 01:37:00,852
- Yes.
- Fact number two.
1227
01:37:02,604 --> 01:37:04,647
I can't let that kid ruin his life.
1228
01:37:04,856 --> 01:37:07,984
- But if he shot the boy...
- He didn't. I did.
1229
01:37:08,193 --> 01:37:11,321
- You?
- The boys were involved in a heist.
1230
01:37:11,529 --> 01:37:15,366
They were coming down the stairs,
we came in the alley. We met...
1231
01:37:15,575 --> 01:37:17,869
- You're not listening.
- You're lying.
1232
01:37:18,077 --> 01:37:21,498
You're a liar, Mike Damon.
A wonderfully loyal liar.
1233
01:37:22,582 --> 01:37:26,502
- Captain Riley, what happened?
- The boy identified Sidney.
1234
01:37:26,711 --> 01:37:30,882
- We're going to have to book him.
- Captain Riley...
1235
01:37:31,090 --> 01:37:33,426
Captain, Sidney did not shoot that boy.
1236
01:37:33,635 --> 01:37:38,014
Tha�s what Sidney and you say.
OK, I'll play along. Who did?
1237
01:37:38,222 --> 01:37:40,141
Nobody did.
1238
01:37:43,644 --> 01:37:48,274
I saw his gun fall out of his holster,
and I ran over and picked it up.
1239
01:37:50,401 --> 01:37:53,863
You won't buy this,
but all I wanted to do was steal it.
1240
01:37:54,071 --> 01:37:56,199
I�s worth about 20 bucks,
you know.
1241
01:37:56,407 --> 01:38:01,662
Some guy belted me and the gun flew
out of my hand and landed on the street.
1242
01:38:01,871 --> 01:38:07,585
Went off and tha�s how Artie got hit.
Don't ask me why I came here.
1243
01:38:07,793 --> 01:38:12,423
I ain't bright enough to answer that.
Except...
1244
01:38:13,924 --> 01:38:16,010
I'm a stupe, but that ain't no reason
1245
01:38:16,218 --> 01:38:20,514
for Sidney not to climb
out of the garbage I'm buried in.
1246
01:38:20,723 --> 01:38:22,975
- He didn't shoot him.
- Artie said...
1247
01:38:23,184 --> 01:38:27,480
Artie's lying. Give me 30 seconds
with him and I'll prove it to you.
1248
01:38:28,564 --> 01:38:32,443
- Gee, thanks a lot, Monk.
- Don't thank me.
1249
01:38:32,651 --> 01:38:36,488
Any time you're ready, I'll talk
with Artie and sign a statement.
1250
01:38:36,697 --> 01:38:38,824
Fine, Monk.
1251
01:38:44,705 --> 01:38:47,499
Captain Riley, sir.
1252
01:38:47,708 --> 01:38:51,337
Captain, I was wondering about
Sidney's progress report.
1253
01:38:51,545 --> 01:38:53,589
Will this have any effect on it?
1254
01:38:53,797 --> 01:38:57,760
Are you asking if I'm recommending
his appointment as a police officer?
1255
01:38:57,968 --> 01:39:00,012
Yes, I'm recommending him!
1256
01:39:02,055 --> 01:39:05,058
I think you'll make a fine officer.
1257
01:39:05,267 --> 01:39:07,352
Thank you, Captain Riley, sir!
1258
01:39:07,561 --> 01:39:11,690
- Congratulations, boy!
- Thank you for all your help.
1259
01:39:11,899 --> 01:39:15,944
- It was my pleasure.
- I better call Patricia. She's waiting.
1260
01:39:16,153 --> 01:39:20,616
Thank you, Miss Henshaw. I know
why you came down and I appreciate it.
1261
01:39:20,824 --> 01:39:24,953
- You're welcome, and good luck.
- Thank you, Miss Henshaw.
1262
01:39:29,416 --> 01:39:34,171
Mike, Monk's not gonna be
in big trouble, is he?
1263
01:39:34,379 --> 01:39:36,715
No. I think everything will be all right.
1264
01:39:36,923 --> 01:39:40,385
- Good! OK. Goodbye.
- Goodbye, Sidney.
1265
01:39:40,594 --> 01:39:42,971
Is that a boy?
1266
01:39:47,642 --> 01:39:50,395
Sidney, you look wonderful.
1267
01:39:50,604 --> 01:39:52,689
Tall and handsome and...
1268
01:39:52,898 --> 01:39:55,483
- Respected?
- Respected.
1269
01:39:55,692 --> 01:39:58,528
- I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
1270
01:39:58,737 --> 01:40:02,532
Well, I have to go to work.
Would you sit here?
1271
01:40:02,741 --> 01:40:05,910
- Yes, sir.
- Right here.
1272
01:40:13,334 --> 01:40:19,174
Well, gentlemen, I suppose you're
wondering why I asked you here.
1273
01:40:19,382 --> 01:40:23,261
Well, le�s put it this way.
1274
01:40:24,095 --> 01:40:28,975
Your problems... are my problems.
1275
01:40:31,102 --> 01:40:36,524
Artie,
tell me something about yourself.
1276
01:40:37,900 --> 01:40:43,281
What are you
and what do you wanna be?
1277
01:40:44,281 --> 01:40:54,281
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