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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000 ABOUT THE SUBTITLES: Some words are missing. If you are able to figure them out please do so and upload the file again as Version 2, Version 3 etc... Thank you! 2 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,144 A swan? 3 00:01:55,563 --> 00:01:57,603 What sort of a swan? 4 00:01:59,064 --> 00:02:00,682 Leda? 5 00:02:00,683 --> 00:02:02,397 Who is Leda? 6 00:02:03,239 --> 00:02:05,895 Is she the injured woman? 7 00:02:07,982 --> 00:02:10,350 Laid by whom? 8 00:02:11,961 --> 00:02:13,879 By Jupiter? 9 00:02:13,880 --> 00:02:16,258 Was that the cause of death? 10 00:02:18,256 --> 00:02:20,344 A female swan? 11 00:02:21,187 --> 00:02:23,385 How do you know it was female? 12 00:02:24,618 --> 00:02:25,963 Eggs? 13 00:02:26,407 --> 00:02:27,986 Egg-bound? 14 00:02:28,795 --> 00:02:30,682 Was it bold? 15 00:02:30,683 --> 00:02:32,654 Perhaps it was a goose. 16 00:02:34,759 --> 00:02:36,729 Did it come from the zoo? 17 00:05:24,726 --> 00:05:26,863 How fast does a woman decompose? 18 00:05:27,284 --> 00:05:30,025 Six months. Maybe a year. 19 00:05:30,426 --> 00:05:32,060 Depends on the conditions. 20 00:05:34,003 --> 00:05:36,460 Does being pregnant make any difference? 21 00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:37,651 No! 22 00:05:37,652 --> 00:05:38,679 And the baby? 23 00:05:39,283 --> 00:05:42,069 - How far gone was she? - Perhaps ten weeks. 24 00:05:42,070 --> 00:05:43,608 Then, you'd never know. 25 00:05:53,858 --> 00:05:56,641 I cannot stand the idea of her rotting away. 26 00:06:02,310 --> 00:06:04,125 What is the first thing that happens? 27 00:06:04,498 --> 00:06:07,630 The first thing that happens is bacteria set to work in the intestine. 28 00:06:07,631 --> 00:06:10,779 - What sort of bacteria? - Bisocosis populi. 29 00:06:12,106 --> 00:06:15,037 There is suppose to be 130.000 bisocosis 30 00:06:15,037 --> 00:06:17,126 in each lick of a human tongue. 31 00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:19,313 250.000 in a French kiss... 32 00:06:20,057 --> 00:06:24,433 First exchange at the very beginning of creation when Adam kissed Eve. 33 00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:26,306 I suppose Eve kissed Adam. 34 00:06:26,308 --> 00:06:27,417 Unlikely! 35 00:06:27,565 --> 00:06:30,095 She used her first 100.000 on the apple. 36 00:06:43,225 --> 00:06:46,576 If the evolutionary span of life on Earth 37 00:06:46,577 --> 00:06:51,277 is represented by a year of 365 days, 38 00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,665 then man made his first appearance 39 00:06:53,666 --> 00:06:56,796 on the evening of the 31st of December... 40 00:06:56,797 --> 00:06:59,016 just as the daylight was fading. 41 00:07:00,073 --> 00:07:03,875 It had taken some... 4.000 million years 42 00:07:03,876 --> 00:07:06,310 for the entrance to be made. 43 00:07:06,311 --> 00:07:10,066 A very slow, uneven progress of life forms, 44 00:07:10,067 --> 00:07:14,132 changing and evolving in a long, continuous procession. 45 00:07:15,387 --> 00:07:17,697 It's comparatively to the easy to comprehend 46 00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:20,608 how one species gave way to another. 47 00:07:20,609 --> 00:07:22,896 But perhaps more difficult to understand... 48 00:07:22,897 --> 00:07:25,412 the evolutionary leap, necessary 49 00:07:25,413 --> 00:07:28,615 to bridge the most sophisticated of the apes... 50 00:07:28,616 --> 00:07:29,803 with man. 51 00:07:29,804 --> 00:07:31,647 And more difficult, still... 52 00:07:31,648 --> 00:07:34,794 to contemplate how life can create itself, 53 00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:37,154 apparently, out of nothing. 54 00:07:41,388 --> 00:07:44,133 The conditions for the origin of life on Earth 55 00:07:44,134 --> 00:07:45,864 can never be reproduced again. 56 00:07:46,408 --> 00:07:49,322 The atmosphere is now rich in oxygen, 57 00:07:49,323 --> 00:07:53,882 the necessary ingredient for the respiratory life of all animals. 58 00:08:00,099 --> 00:08:03,590 But in the beginning there was little or no oxygen. 59 00:08:03,591 --> 00:08:05,763 There was methane, ammonia, 60 00:08:05,764 --> 00:08:08,731 carbon monoxide, water, 61 00:08:08,732 --> 00:08:10,225 electrical storms, 62 00:08:10,226 --> 00:08:12,046 ultraviolet light, 63 00:08:12,047 --> 00:08:14,018 the first carbon compounds. 64 00:08:14,906 --> 00:08:19,774 On the round volcanic stones like these... an abundance of hydrogen. 65 00:08:19,775 --> 00:08:21,703 These conditions were advantageous 66 00:08:21,704 --> 00:08:24,221 for the formation of the first cyanophycees 67 00:08:24,222 --> 00:08:26,527 or blue-green algae. 68 00:08:26,528 --> 00:08:30,477 Their utilization of hydrogen in water using chlorophyll 69 00:08:30,477 --> 00:08:32,841 in the process of photosynthesis 70 00:08:32,842 --> 00:08:35,974 liberated oxygen in abundant quantities 71 00:08:35,975 --> 00:08:39,135 to change radically the atmosphere of the Earth. 72 00:08:39,850 --> 00:08:42,909 Their evolving marks a major step 73 00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:46,452 towards the evolution of higher forms of life. 74 00:08:48,302 --> 00:08:49,587 How are you feeling? 75 00:08:52,434 --> 00:08:53,972 Short of a leg. 76 00:08:55,620 --> 00:08:57,805 In the land of the legless... 77 00:08:57,806 --> 00:08:59,997 the one-legged woman is queen. 78 00:09:02,411 --> 00:09:05,733 It was a legless whore in Marseilles during the war... 79 00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:07,749 who was very wealthy. 80 00:09:07,958 --> 00:09:11,002 She seldom left her bed because she couldn't. 81 00:09:11,003 --> 00:09:14,256 She got both her legs amputated at the brim. 82 00:09:14,464 --> 00:09:20,130 Imagine that gentlemen... no limbs to hint the entry� 83 00:09:20,846 --> 00:09:24,186 She was treated with great affection and regard� 84 00:09:25,187 --> 00:09:27,686 and had a great many lovers. 85 00:09:28,478 --> 00:09:30,481 She died young... 86 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,461 Some of her lover thought... 87 00:09:32,462 --> 00:09:35,370 she might liked to be buried in a short coffin. 88 00:09:36,069 --> 00:09:40,865 Others thought that the empty space should be filled with flowers. 89 00:09:40,866 --> 00:09:42,894 In the end, of course, her family turned up 90 00:09:42,895 --> 00:09:46,194 and they had the corpse fitted with artificial legs. 91 00:09:47,247 --> 00:09:49,051 Imagine that... 92 00:09:50,542 --> 00:09:55,685 the body... in all its delicious detail... 93 00:09:55,686 --> 00:09:57,362 fading away... 94 00:09:57,799 --> 00:10:01,665 leaving a skeleton with iron legs... 95 00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:06,942 Especially, since the legs had been made for a man called Felipe Arc-en-Ciel. 96 00:10:06,977 --> 00:10:09,185 You've been very thorough in your research. 97 00:10:09,186 --> 00:10:10,562 I made it up. 98 00:10:11,855 --> 00:10:15,776 I have now to find a Felipe Arc-en-Ciel to stop my crying... 99 00:10:16,902 --> 00:10:20,521 to discover what it tastes to have your legs borrowed 100 00:10:20,522 --> 00:10:22,304 by a dead woman. 101 00:10:22,988 --> 00:10:25,034 How is your daughter? 102 00:10:25,035 --> 00:10:26,991 Beta is fine. 103 00:10:26,992 --> 00:10:30,407 She says, my leg has walked off with a Dutchman. 104 00:11:30,309 --> 00:11:32,560 Morning Venus! How are the zebras? 105 00:11:32,561 --> 00:11:34,314 Black and white. 106 00:11:39,443 --> 00:11:42,236 Good morning Milo! What do you doing? 107 00:11:42,237 --> 00:11:45,615 Just come to see if you are looking after the animals properly. 108 00:11:45,616 --> 00:11:47,909 You can come and take care of me. 109 00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:49,202 Where could I do that? 110 00:11:49,203 --> 00:11:51,055 Back of the panda cages... 111 00:11:51,056 --> 00:11:52,722 we might give them a little encouragement. 112 00:11:52,723 --> 00:11:54,248 There's no bed there. 113 00:11:54,249 --> 00:11:56,584 Since when have you needed a bed, Milo? 114 00:11:56,585 --> 00:11:59,276 Since my back ached... just now! 115 00:12:00,839 --> 00:12:02,889 I'll give you... 116 00:12:03,690 --> 00:12:04,990 �5� 117 00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:09,222 and 2 pounds of zebra steak. 118 00:12:09,223 --> 00:12:11,974 Do the owls go hungry for your pleasure? 119 00:12:11,975 --> 00:12:13,301 Not yours! 120 00:12:13,302 --> 00:12:16,426 I was on that pheasant. They'll eat anything, even a lizard. 121 00:12:17,231 --> 00:12:21,526 Would you rather have a lizard... or a zebra afterbirth? 122 00:12:23,528 --> 00:12:24,780 Tell me Milo! 123 00:12:25,714 --> 00:12:27,497 Do you think a zebra... 124 00:12:27,498 --> 00:12:29,534 is a white animal with black stripes 125 00:12:29,535 --> 00:12:32,371 or a black animal with white stripes? 126 00:12:36,435 --> 00:12:38,198 Carry my shoes for me. 127 00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:43,257 There used to be a bed in the back of the vulture cages. 128 00:12:44,299 --> 00:12:47,802 You were younger then... Now you have less to bargain with. 129 00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:51,139 - Now I have experience. - With animals? 130 00:12:54,685 --> 00:12:55,936 All right then! 131 00:12:58,021 --> 00:13:02,187 I'll give 4 pounds of cow's liver... and a drink. 132 00:13:03,151 --> 00:13:05,444 Or I might have to see about your license to practise. 133 00:13:05,445 --> 00:13:09,316 Ooh, you only have to have a license to start the zoo, not to stock it. 134 00:13:09,317 --> 00:13:11,535 You could start a zoo, Hoyten. 135 00:13:11,536 --> 00:13:14,579 But you'd have to pay me to visit you. 136 00:13:14,580 --> 00:13:16,623 You can keep your free meat. 137 00:13:16,832 --> 00:13:20,877 I'll take a... �10 for half an hour... 138 00:13:20,878 --> 00:13:23,546 and the tail feathers of an American bold eagle. 139 00:13:23,547 --> 00:13:25,231 You're making a hat? 140 00:13:25,232 --> 00:13:26,447 No! 141 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,881 I'm writing a dirty story. 142 00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:30,596 We don't have an American bold eagle. 143 00:13:30,597 --> 00:13:33,849 Oh, I was forgetting, it's a black and white bird. 144 00:13:35,017 --> 00:13:37,894 Then I'll settle for an introduction to Oliver and Oswald. 145 00:13:37,895 --> 00:13:39,103 What do you want with them? 146 00:13:39,104 --> 00:13:41,848 I could help! Their wives have died� 147 00:13:42,441 --> 00:13:44,442 and I need a bath. 148 00:13:44,443 --> 00:13:47,478 You can have a bath, provided I can watch. 149 00:13:47,479 --> 00:13:49,530 Surprise, surprise! 150 00:13:49,531 --> 00:13:52,701 That's what all the animals are here for, isn't it? 151 00:14:31,031 --> 00:14:33,121 In a spoonful of pond water 152 00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:37,495 there may be as many as 10.000 minor microorganisms... 153 00:14:37,496 --> 00:14:40,785 In the seas there are uncountable numbers of creatures. 154 00:14:41,577 --> 00:14:44,553 Myriads of simply structured organisms, 155 00:14:44,554 --> 00:14:49,507 whose ancestors began to appear some... 2.000 million years ago 156 00:14:49,508 --> 00:14:53,178 from among the primitive bacteria and the first algae. 157 00:15:01,270 --> 00:15:03,373 Oliver, I'm sorry about your bad news. 158 00:15:08,318 --> 00:15:09,861 Can the zoo help? 159 00:15:15,325 --> 00:15:16,862 What are you watching? 160 00:15:17,494 --> 00:15:19,072 The beginnings of life. 161 00:15:19,580 --> 00:15:21,790 - Is cathartic. - What is? 162 00:15:22,332 --> 00:15:23,876 Watching life begin. 163 00:15:24,726 --> 00:15:26,072 - Yes? - Yes! 164 00:15:26,073 --> 00:15:27,577 'Cause I know how it ends. 165 00:15:28,297 --> 00:15:30,525 - How does it end? - With a swan. 166 00:15:31,780 --> 00:15:33,443 - Ah, yes! - And a white car... 167 00:15:33,444 --> 00:15:37,498 a Ford Mercury, registration number NID26BW 168 00:15:37,499 --> 00:15:39,388 driven by a woman with flaming red hair, 169 00:15:39,389 --> 00:15:42,536 surrounded by white feathers, called Alba Bewick. 170 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,474 Then I'm sorry that you'll find this film... inaccurate. 171 00:15:47,060 --> 00:15:48,737 Don't ruin it for me, Fallast. 172 00:15:49,985 --> 00:15:51,880 I'm going to take it in stages. 173 00:15:52,762 --> 00:15:54,289 Needs absorbing... 174 00:15:55,324 --> 00:15:58,618 Sure, I must have read it wrong before and now I'm on the lookout for clues. 175 00:15:58,676 --> 00:16:00,776 What sort of clues? 176 00:16:00,787 --> 00:16:03,540 In a try and separate the true clues and the red herrings. 177 00:16:06,919 --> 00:16:10,838 I'm told, that all 8 parts of the second copy of this film 178 00:16:10,839 --> 00:16:12,080 are out on loan as well. 179 00:16:13,008 --> 00:16:15,561 Perhaps someone else is also looking for red herring. 180 00:16:17,012 --> 00:16:19,847 Myriads of simply structured organisms, 181 00:16:19,848 --> 00:16:24,769 whose ancestors began to appear some... 2.000 million years ago 182 00:16:24,770 --> 00:16:28,398 from among the primitive bacteria and the first algae. 183 00:16:30,188 --> 00:16:38,115 Protozoa, primitive jelly fish, sponges, coral polyps, colonizers... 184 00:16:38,116 --> 00:16:43,120 Innumerable individuals making the first oceans... a rich soup. 185 00:16:43,121 --> 00:16:46,488 Ripe for the further and more sophisticated development... 186 00:16:46,489 --> 00:16:48,003 of life forms. 187 00:16:50,258 --> 00:16:53,564 Oliver, entre! 188 00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:56,818 Where is Oswald? 189 00:16:57,379 --> 00:16:59,820 Ah, he's... just working. 190 00:17:01,265 --> 00:17:02,843 Work consoles him. 191 00:17:03,696 --> 00:17:04,726 I think. 192 00:17:08,647 --> 00:17:10,497 How did you first know my wife? 193 00:17:11,446 --> 00:17:14,694 I met her at the zoo... with my daughter... 194 00:17:14,695 --> 00:17:17,739 when I took to Beta to the Insects House to watch butterflies. 195 00:17:19,241 --> 00:17:22,578 Your wife said... they should be let free. 196 00:17:23,704 --> 00:17:26,623 She didn't approve of zoos, did she? 197 00:17:29,209 --> 00:17:31,211 Why is your daughter called Beta? 198 00:17:32,087 --> 00:17:36,592 Alpha, Beta, Gamma... I wanted 26 children. 199 00:17:37,134 --> 00:17:38,968 Beta wasn't the first. 200 00:17:38,969 --> 00:17:40,679 The first one died. 201 00:17:41,597 --> 00:17:45,224 I had an infection... mercury poisoning. 202 00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:48,265 Where I come from, you take mercury to put you an abortion. 203 00:17:48,266 --> 00:17:51,421 There aren't 26 letters in the Greek alphabet, there's only 23. 204 00:17:51,732 --> 00:17:53,723 What Oswald Deuce's doing here? 205 00:17:54,142 --> 00:17:56,278 Watching an apple fade away. 206 00:17:56,778 --> 00:17:58,405 How original... 207 00:17:59,198 --> 00:18:01,490 - "A" is for... - Angelfish. 208 00:18:01,491 --> 00:18:03,498 - "B" is for... - Butterfly. 209 00:18:10,542 --> 00:18:12,436 Do you think that's wise? 210 00:18:13,712 --> 00:18:15,589 There are too many of them. 211 00:18:16,298 --> 00:18:17,925 Will they survive the cold? 212 00:18:19,593 --> 00:18:21,345 This zoo is too crowded. 213 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:27,198 There're too many staff, for a start. 214 00:18:27,809 --> 00:18:30,145 Haven't you got anything better to do than watch me? 215 00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:41,298 Venus de Milo's been asking after you. 216 00:18:43,325 --> 00:18:47,335 I cannot stand the idea of her body rotting away... 217 00:18:47,636 --> 00:18:48,705 for nothing. 218 00:18:49,831 --> 00:18:51,500 Or was it for some reason? 219 00:19:00,300 --> 00:19:01,453 Where is this? 220 00:19:02,886 --> 00:19:04,663 It's where I was born. 221 00:19:05,138 --> 00:19:06,807 It's called L'Escargot. 222 00:19:09,434 --> 00:19:11,455 Tell me what happened... 223 00:19:11,456 --> 00:19:12,658 in detail. 224 00:19:12,896 --> 00:19:15,148 You know what happened. 225 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:18,539 Paula and Griselda were shopping for china... 226 00:19:18,540 --> 00:19:19,888 What was Griselda wearing? 227 00:19:20,568 --> 00:19:23,239 A green hat, black shoes... 228 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:26,292 - We left there about 3 o' clock. - Was she wearing a scarf? 229 00:19:26,293 --> 00:19:27,974 Yes! 230 00:19:27,975 --> 00:19:29,697 We turned out of the car parking and then� 231 00:19:29,698 --> 00:19:31,373 Why was she buying china? 232 00:19:32,199 --> 00:19:34,650 She said she needed china. 233 00:19:35,322 --> 00:19:37,044 She bought 6 soup-bowls� 234 00:19:37,045 --> 00:19:38,589 What were they like? 235 00:19:39,298 --> 00:19:42,300 They were white... with blue markings... 236 00:19:42,301 --> 00:19:44,639 and an egg-timer... and a milk-jug. 237 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,556 An egg-timer... What the hell did she want with an egg-timer? 238 00:19:48,315 --> 00:19:51,931 - I imagine those vaulty timers... - And why did she want to time eggs? 239 00:19:51,932 --> 00:19:54,623 Oswald, think what you say! 240 00:19:55,439 --> 00:19:56,999 What else did she buy? 241 00:19:58,108 --> 00:20:00,485 Paula wanted to go to the fishmonger. 242 00:20:01,403 --> 00:20:03,881 - I bought a lobster. - Why did you buy a lobster for? 243 00:20:03,882 --> 00:20:06,242 Oswald, this is getting silly! 244 00:20:06,243 --> 00:20:08,208 Did my wife buy anything? 245 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,523 Oh yes... prawns. 246 00:20:11,524 --> 00:20:13,273 - Prawns? - Yes! 247 00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,227 Thank you! 248 00:20:16,228 --> 00:20:17,907 That will do for now. 249 00:20:17,908 --> 00:20:20,228 But all this is the long way back in the story. 250 00:20:20,227 --> 00:20:21,958 Oh well! Thank you for telling me. 251 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,051 Oswald, where are you going? 252 00:20:24,978 --> 00:20:27,637 The variety of shape, form and structure 253 00:20:27,638 --> 00:20:29,890 in the development of animals at this time 254 00:20:30,098 --> 00:20:31,600 is extraordinary. 255 00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:35,978 Slight scuffing crabs, slow moving snails, 256 00:20:35,979 --> 00:20:40,233 animals that look like stones, that take on the colour of sand, 257 00:20:40,234 --> 00:20:43,724 animals that presented claws, that scavenge, 258 00:20:43,725 --> 00:20:46,622 that develop poisons and stinging apparatus, 259 00:20:46,623 --> 00:20:49,536 that live on detritus and each other� 260 00:20:49,576 --> 00:20:54,039 creating systems of defence and attack whose ingenuity is limitless. 261 00:20:58,627 --> 00:21:00,212 Anything in the park gazette? 262 00:21:01,672 --> 00:21:04,698 - Why don't you sit down, plead? - Thank you a lot Oliver! 263 00:21:04,699 --> 00:21:06,244 I heard you were in here. 264 00:21:06,245 --> 00:21:08,720 - There's a funny smell in here. - It's me... 265 00:21:08,721 --> 00:21:10,148 I've stop washing. 266 00:21:11,343 --> 00:21:13,588 - Now, I'm sorry very about your wife. - So am I. 267 00:21:16,153 --> 00:21:18,481 Venus de Milo has been asking after you. 268 00:21:21,441 --> 00:21:23,943 Everyone's pimp and messenger, right plead? 269 00:21:23,944 --> 00:21:25,070 Suit yourself! 270 00:22:43,954 --> 00:22:45,988 Milo, have you ever done it with animals? 271 00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:48,460 If that's what you want, if it would help... 272 00:22:48,461 --> 00:22:50,196 I could invent for you. 273 00:22:50,197 --> 00:22:52,615 It'll cost a... �5 a story. 274 00:22:52,616 --> 00:22:55,785 That's what Anais Nin charged in 1927... 275 00:22:55,786 --> 00:22:58,120 and she did it professionally. 276 00:22:58,121 --> 00:23:00,915 I haven't started professionally, yet. 277 00:23:00,916 --> 00:23:05,753 �5 or... an introduction to a publisher. 278 00:23:05,754 --> 00:23:09,557 - Or credit note to a large bookshop... - That's all right! All right, go on! 279 00:23:12,261 --> 00:23:15,604 Once upon a time... there were three birds... 280 00:23:15,605 --> 00:23:17,128 No nursery stories! 281 00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:20,102 No? All right! 282 00:23:21,061 --> 00:23:24,108 Circus owner in Anchorage... 283 00:23:24,109 --> 00:23:26,934 kept a polar bear called Fairbanks 284 00:23:26,935 --> 00:23:28,992 to entertain Eskimo wives... 285 00:23:28,993 --> 00:23:31,836 - Unlikely! And how come you know about Alaska? 286 00:23:31,837 --> 00:23:33,611 I was attentive in Geography. 287 00:23:33,949 --> 00:23:38,406 The bear... had a narrow snout, 288 00:23:38,407 --> 00:23:43,040 a sweet nature, and a rough and probing tongue. 289 00:23:43,041 --> 00:23:44,851 It also liked honey� 290 00:23:44,852 --> 00:23:46,753 It's beginning to sound like a bedtime story. 291 00:23:46,754 --> 00:23:48,282 Isn't that just what you wanted? 292 00:23:48,283 --> 00:23:49,722 And there are no bees in Alaska. 293 00:23:49,723 --> 00:23:52,163 There are as many bees in Alaska as snails. 294 00:23:53,468 --> 00:23:55,011 Why do you like snails? 295 00:23:55,012 --> 00:23:58,806 They're a nice primitive form of life. They helped the world decay... 296 00:23:58,807 --> 00:24:01,864 and they are hermaphrodites, they can satisfy their own sexual needs. 297 00:24:01,865 --> 00:24:04,687 - I don't believe it! - Neither do I! 298 00:24:04,688 --> 00:24:08,821 The circus owner by leashing out the bear with a jar of honey 299 00:24:08,822 --> 00:24:11,117 had two profitable sources of income... 300 00:24:11,118 --> 00:24:14,363 Come on! Now this is another wingding story about money! 301 00:24:14,364 --> 00:24:17,605 - And I disapprove of circuses! - I disapprove of zoos! 302 00:24:17,606 --> 00:24:19,289 Just shut up and get out! 303 00:24:19,494 --> 00:24:21,263 But I haven't got to the erotic part yet. 304 00:24:21,264 --> 00:24:22,298 Get out! 305 00:24:23,392 --> 00:24:24,329 Get out! 306 00:24:27,780 --> 00:24:28,502 Get out! 307 00:24:28,503 --> 00:24:30,207 Oh, mind your snails! 308 00:24:30,208 --> 00:24:31,208 Out! 309 00:24:32,007 --> 00:24:33,634 Get out! Go on! 310 00:24:38,265 --> 00:24:39,089 Out! 311 00:24:41,850 --> 00:24:45,135 If you go down to the woods today... 312 00:24:45,136 --> 00:24:47,481 you'd better go in disguise. 313 00:24:48,864 --> 00:24:51,922 If you go down to the woods today... 314 00:24:51,923 --> 00:24:52,923 be sure of... 315 00:24:53,779 --> 00:24:56,365 Be careful with that, you stupid idiot! 316 00:24:56,740 --> 00:24:59,952 It's best mohair. I spent a lot of time on this suit. 317 00:25:01,161 --> 00:25:06,708 If you go down to the woods today you'd better go in disguise. 318 00:25:07,417 --> 00:25:10,852 If you go down to the woods today... 319 00:25:10,853 --> 00:25:13,874 be sure of a big surprise. 320 00:25:14,633 --> 00:25:17,969 What sort of stories does your brother Oswald like? 321 00:25:17,970 --> 00:25:20,305 Why don't you go and ask him? 322 00:25:21,701 --> 00:25:26,751 At 6 o'clock... their mummies and daddies... 323 00:25:26,752 --> 00:25:29,601 will take them home to bed... 324 00:25:30,671 --> 00:25:32,976 because they're tired... 325 00:25:34,111 --> 00:25:38,002 little... teddy bears. 326 00:25:49,793 --> 00:25:53,369 And leave those little snails alone, you dirty old man. 327 00:26:09,229 --> 00:26:12,775 And oh, Lord! This Oswald Deuce again! 328 00:26:12,776 --> 00:26:14,312 What's he up to? 329 00:26:14,313 --> 00:26:16,945 What's the connection between apples and prawns? 330 00:26:18,344 --> 00:26:21,074 What the gob of prawns remind you of? 331 00:26:21,450 --> 00:26:25,746 And what was the betting? All of Oswald wives smell like agar? 332 00:26:26,496 --> 00:26:29,874 Maybe he enjoyed the smell so much he's trying to recapture it. 333 00:26:29,875 --> 00:26:31,459 You're disgusting! 334 00:26:31,460 --> 00:26:34,430 You are too prim for words� Make him eat a prawn! 335 00:26:40,438 --> 00:26:41,565 Oswald wouldn't mind. 336 00:26:43,824 --> 00:26:45,936 Take that off. Put this on. 337 00:26:56,443 --> 00:26:58,181 It belongs to my wife. 338 00:27:03,829 --> 00:27:05,565 And this hat. 339 00:27:20,509 --> 00:27:22,495 Open the coat down the front. 340 00:27:27,775 --> 00:27:28,892 Fold your arms. 341 00:27:33,245 --> 00:27:34,476 All right, begin! 342 00:27:36,149 --> 00:27:40,220 In Bostwana, they kept a bull in a cave� 343 00:27:40,221 --> 00:27:41,794 I've heard it. 344 00:27:42,254 --> 00:27:43,874 You have? 345 00:27:46,016 --> 00:27:47,130 Well! 346 00:27:47,703 --> 00:27:51,957 In the 1870s, in the Regent's Park Zoo in London... 347 00:27:53,439 --> 00:27:58,185 there was an enclosure reserved... for certain rare animals. 348 00:27:58,677 --> 00:28:04,204 They came to be called... The Obscene Animals Enclosure. 349 00:28:07,306 --> 00:28:11,434 One of the animals, in this special enclosure, 350 00:28:11,435 --> 00:28:13,984 was a toad... 351 00:28:13,985 --> 00:28:15,987 at least it had the body of a toad. 352 00:28:16,288 --> 00:28:18,191 Was it all your bloody fault? 353 00:28:18,567 --> 00:28:20,985 - What was? - The death of my wife! 354 00:28:20,986 --> 00:28:22,320 I see. 355 00:28:22,321 --> 00:28:25,531 I'm expected to have a pilot's license? 356 00:28:25,532 --> 00:28:27,927 How could I anticipate swans? 357 00:28:28,618 --> 00:28:30,741 You're wearing white feathers... 358 00:28:30,742 --> 00:28:32,598 and you were driving a Ford Mercury. 359 00:28:32,599 --> 00:28:33,497 So? 360 00:28:33,498 --> 00:28:35,976 You were asking for trouble. 361 00:28:35,977 --> 00:28:37,084 Why? 362 00:28:37,711 --> 00:28:41,104 You said you took mercury to procure an abortion. 363 00:28:41,718 --> 00:28:43,507 You were pregnant. 364 00:28:43,508 --> 00:28:46,430 How the hell did you know I was pregnant? 365 00:28:46,637 --> 00:28:49,711 Pregnant women are notoriously unreliable. 366 00:28:51,642 --> 00:28:54,803 Especially, when they're trying to procure an abortion. 367 00:28:55,896 --> 00:28:59,066 It was all your fault, you bitch! 368 00:28:59,067 --> 00:29:00,067 Oliver! 369 00:29:11,036 --> 00:29:13,509 Was my story worth �10? 370 00:29:13,747 --> 00:29:17,375 I normally get 25 for 4.000 words. 371 00:29:17,376 --> 00:29:20,789 That's 1/8 of what Pauline Reage got for "The Story of O". 372 00:29:23,006 --> 00:29:25,050 - Did I tell it well? - Yes! 373 00:29:26,504 --> 00:29:28,637 Write it down and I'll see if it gets published. 374 00:29:29,418 --> 00:29:31,107 That's what your brother said. 375 00:29:31,812 --> 00:29:32,609 Is it? 376 00:29:35,602 --> 00:29:38,864 Isn't it time you and he became a little more friendly? 377 00:29:40,315 --> 00:29:41,483 How is he? 378 00:29:43,569 --> 00:29:44,862 He's miserable... 379 00:29:47,030 --> 00:29:48,808 like you. 380 00:29:52,452 --> 00:29:55,162 Oliver says, that rot starts in the stomach. 381 00:29:55,163 --> 00:29:56,414 With an apple? 382 00:29:56,415 --> 00:30:00,291 In the intestines, in the liver, pancreas... 383 00:30:00,292 --> 00:30:03,968 the spleen... near the womb... 384 00:30:05,226 --> 00:30:06,966 I'm going to see Oliver. 385 00:30:06,967 --> 00:30:08,802 Do you want me to give him a message? 386 00:30:10,484 --> 00:30:12,260 No, I've got nothing to say. 387 00:30:13,348 --> 00:30:14,516 Yes, tell him... 388 00:30:15,976 --> 00:30:17,728 to look after himself. 389 00:30:56,118 --> 00:30:57,048 Oliver! 390 00:30:58,435 --> 00:31:00,479 Oliver, what... what are you doing? 391 00:31:00,854 --> 00:31:02,648 I'm having breakfast. 392 00:31:24,403 --> 00:31:25,587 Stop it, you bloody idiot! 393 00:31:29,049 --> 00:31:30,967 You pathetic idiot! 394 00:31:30,968 --> 00:31:32,093 It's only ice. 395 00:31:32,094 --> 00:31:34,441 Ice floats and you don't put ice in your wine. 396 00:31:34,442 --> 00:31:36,640 Since when is etiquette being your strong point? 397 00:31:37,891 --> 00:31:40,860 Oh, all right! Call for an ambulance, I've had enough. 398 00:31:40,861 --> 00:31:41,811 Thank you! 399 00:31:42,646 --> 00:31:44,606 - Shall I call for Oswald? - No! 400 00:31:46,441 --> 00:31:47,734 All right, yes! 401 00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:50,106 Tell him... 402 00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,778 I am bleeding. He'll come. 403 00:31:54,575 --> 00:31:56,618 He always used to come when I was bleeding. 404 00:32:00,372 --> 00:32:03,350 - What's Oliver looking for? - I don't know. 405 00:32:03,750 --> 00:32:05,433 I mean, look at all this stuff. 406 00:32:08,484 --> 00:32:11,215 Maybe he's looking for an answer to his wife's death. 407 00:32:11,216 --> 00:32:14,142 He will not find it here. This is just a straight-forward account. 408 00:32:15,220 --> 00:32:19,181 The squid is among the most intelligent of the invertebrates. 409 00:32:19,182 --> 00:32:22,060 Darwin was a good story-teller. 410 00:32:22,724 --> 00:32:25,018 Both brothers have taken one copy. 411 00:32:26,061 --> 00:32:28,207 Do I got to sit through them all? 412 00:32:28,605 --> 00:32:31,149 There are 8 parts. This is only the third. 413 00:32:32,359 --> 00:32:35,732 God, it's all such a... very fiction! 414 00:32:38,407 --> 00:32:41,466 Were right... Though I don't deserve this, ok. 415 00:32:41,467 --> 00:32:42,828 How was he right? 416 00:32:43,198 --> 00:32:44,538 I was pregnant. 417 00:32:45,372 --> 00:32:47,791 I not only lost a leg in that crash. 418 00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:50,085 I lost a child. 419 00:32:50,502 --> 00:32:53,379 Though I wasn't, by any means, trying to. 420 00:32:53,380 --> 00:32:56,424 Gamma is not a very good name for a child. 421 00:32:56,425 --> 00:33:00,053 I have yet to work out my greater loss. 422 00:33:02,389 --> 00:33:06,560 But I know that I want another leg and another child. 423 00:33:08,395 --> 00:33:10,390 As you can see... 424 00:33:10,791 --> 00:33:12,922 it was inferior china. 425 00:33:12,923 --> 00:33:15,020 Why do you want to keep those for? 426 00:33:15,402 --> 00:33:17,812 Throw them away, you stupid boy! 427 00:33:30,334 --> 00:33:31,960 I'd like to see this place. 428 00:33:35,130 --> 00:33:36,495 Then go and see it... 429 00:33:38,634 --> 00:33:41,469 and come back and tell me how it's getting on. 430 00:33:41,470 --> 00:33:43,096 The key is in my bag. 431 00:33:43,847 --> 00:33:45,474 You could go together. 432 00:33:47,059 --> 00:33:48,602 So who found you? 433 00:33:49,353 --> 00:33:51,312 - De Milo. - Who is she? 434 00:33:51,313 --> 00:33:54,399 The stage name is Venus, the clients call her de Milo. 435 00:33:55,067 --> 00:33:56,485 The seamstress. 436 00:33:57,402 --> 00:33:59,363 She's beautiful stitcher. 437 00:33:59,817 --> 00:34:01,415 When she's not watching the zebras, 438 00:34:01,416 --> 00:34:03,301 she meets her clients at the Panda House. 439 00:34:04,159 --> 00:34:06,086 And what's her speciality? 440 00:34:06,828 --> 00:34:07,746 Bamboo. 441 00:34:20,759 --> 00:34:23,511 - "J" is for... - Jaguar. 442 00:34:23,512 --> 00:34:26,889 - "K" is for... - Kangaroo. 443 00:34:26,890 --> 00:34:29,225 - "L" is for... - Lion. 444 00:34:29,226 --> 00:34:31,561 - "M" is for... - Monkey. 445 00:34:39,695 --> 00:34:41,779 Mon dieu, Oswald! What's this? 446 00:34:41,780 --> 00:34:43,358 Prawns on their way back. 447 00:34:43,929 --> 00:34:44,782 Way back? 448 00:34:44,783 --> 00:34:46,368 To where they came from. 449 00:34:47,286 --> 00:34:49,078 Ooze... 450 00:34:49,079 --> 00:34:50,998 slime, murk... 451 00:34:57,713 --> 00:34:59,005 One's still alive. 452 00:34:59,006 --> 00:35:02,359 - Something interfered with my experiment. - Perhaps they were hungry. 453 00:35:03,510 --> 00:35:04,678 Who the hell is he? 454 00:35:05,721 --> 00:35:09,223 He's the surgeon, who removed my leg. 455 00:35:09,224 --> 00:35:12,310 He wants to be a painter... a Dutch painter. 456 00:35:12,311 --> 00:35:15,355 In fact, the Dutch painter Vermeer. No less! 457 00:35:15,564 --> 00:35:19,067 Vermeer only painted 26 paintings and 3 of those are dubious. 458 00:35:19,109 --> 00:35:21,000 - That's enough. - Obviously not! 459 00:35:21,001 --> 00:35:23,572 Van Meegeren tried to paint some more. 460 00:35:24,323 --> 00:35:26,158 - That's his name! - Whose name? 461 00:35:26,366 --> 00:35:28,367 - The surgeon's. - Pardon? 462 00:35:28,368 --> 00:35:30,257 Van Meegeren. 463 00:35:30,258 --> 00:35:33,580 He's the cousin of the faker who painted the Vermeers. 464 00:35:34,416 --> 00:35:36,209 What's his speciality? 465 00:35:36,960 --> 00:35:38,545 Vermeer women. 466 00:35:39,713 --> 00:35:44,092 Van Meegeren says, I look like the lady standing at the virginal. 467 00:35:44,968 --> 00:35:48,096 I suspect it's because you never see her legs. 468 00:35:48,972 --> 00:35:51,266 She's not standing really. 469 00:35:51,475 --> 00:35:54,311 She's strapped and stitched to a music stool. 470 00:35:55,228 --> 00:35:58,023 Van Meegeren has a great reputation for stitching. 471 00:35:58,024 --> 00:35:59,579 Stitching? 472 00:36:00,067 --> 00:36:01,275 Suturing. 473 00:36:01,276 --> 00:36:04,112 Sewing up wounds... operations... 474 00:36:05,656 --> 00:36:08,116 He's made a beautiful job on me. 475 00:36:08,867 --> 00:36:10,868 - Look. - No, I can't. 476 00:36:10,869 --> 00:36:13,182 - Why not? - Because... 477 00:36:15,290 --> 00:36:17,000 You see what I mean? 478 00:36:17,793 --> 00:36:19,531 I see more than that. 479 00:36:19,532 --> 00:36:22,192 Oh! That, well... 480 00:36:23,048 --> 00:36:25,717 That's pretty redundant now, isn't it? 481 00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:28,553 I mean, except to pee through. 482 00:36:31,348 --> 00:36:32,639 I want you to make sure 483 00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,499 those two brothers don't get too close to Alba Bewick. 484 00:36:36,743 --> 00:36:37,980 How do I do that? 485 00:36:39,147 --> 00:36:40,453 Distract them... 486 00:36:41,632 --> 00:36:43,754 as only you know how. 487 00:36:46,655 --> 00:36:48,198 What's in it for me? 488 00:36:48,991 --> 00:36:50,762 My patient's... 489 00:36:51,576 --> 00:36:53,370 Our patient's that'd be. 490 00:36:53,578 --> 00:36:57,749 and a... continuant place in my operating theatre... 491 00:36:58,375 --> 00:37:00,457 and in my bed. 492 00:37:11,206 --> 00:37:12,346 Oliver! 493 00:37:12,347 --> 00:37:13,773 I was thinking... 494 00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:16,897 at the crash... which way was the wind blowing? 495 00:37:17,477 --> 00:37:19,316 Was it blowing off the buildings at the north side 496 00:37:19,317 --> 00:37:20,938 or the buildings on the south side? 497 00:37:20,939 --> 00:37:23,406 S'tempere Oliver, enough! 498 00:37:23,407 --> 00:37:24,775 You've got to stop! 499 00:37:24,776 --> 00:37:26,570 What difference does it make? 500 00:37:27,112 --> 00:37:30,364 You exhaust me with your obsessions. Both of you! 501 00:37:30,365 --> 00:37:32,116 You're our only witness. 502 00:37:32,117 --> 00:37:34,505 What sort of witness was I? 503 00:37:34,506 --> 00:37:35,786 Injured, in pain.. 504 00:37:35,787 --> 00:37:38,664 a face full of feathers... an egg yolk... 505 00:37:38,665 --> 00:37:41,584 my leg's mashed to pulp... bleeding... 506 00:37:41,585 --> 00:37:44,004 and you ask me for wind directions. 507 00:37:45,505 --> 00:37:46,564 Sorry! 508 00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,094 - Where's Beta? - She's with Oswald. 509 00:37:52,208 --> 00:37:55,390 Look! It was an accident. 510 00:37:55,599 --> 00:37:58,118 5.000 accidents happen every day. 511 00:37:58,404 --> 00:38:01,437 - This one is... - Bizarre, tragic, fascicle! 512 00:38:01,438 --> 00:38:06,025 They're acts of God! Did only to amaze the survivors... 513 00:38:06,026 --> 00:38:07,953 and irritate the insurance company. 514 00:38:07,954 --> 00:38:10,364 This one is different, for God's sake! 515 00:38:10,365 --> 00:38:11,072 Is it? 516 00:38:11,073 --> 00:38:15,121 The wives of two zoologists die in a car driven by a woman called Bewick, 517 00:38:15,122 --> 00:38:17,662 who's attacked by a swan on Swan's Way... 518 00:38:17,663 --> 00:38:21,999 You are already the beginning to build yourself a case for the supernatural. 519 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,922 But another set of details, from the same crash, 520 00:38:24,923 --> 00:38:27,706 could produce something completely different. 521 00:38:40,269 --> 00:38:41,926 What about me? 522 00:38:42,938 --> 00:38:45,190 Don't I deserve some consideration? 523 00:38:47,567 --> 00:38:52,155 With a daughter, who can't sit still... and why should she? 524 00:38:53,448 --> 00:38:55,409 Take her out for me, will you? 525 00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:59,705 Van Meegeren is going to fit me with an artificial leg tomorrow. 526 00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:03,125 Kiss me. 527 00:39:04,376 --> 00:39:07,921 I haven't been kissed since your wife kissed me one month ago. 528 00:39:09,047 --> 00:39:11,299 Kiss me on the cheek. 529 00:39:11,300 --> 00:39:13,959 Here... where she did. 530 00:39:29,610 --> 00:39:31,236 And the ostrich eats anything at all... 531 00:39:31,570 --> 00:39:33,989 It buries its head in the sand when it's afraid... 532 00:39:34,448 --> 00:39:36,158 And the elephant lives to be a 100... 533 00:39:36,913 --> 00:39:38,660 And never forgets a face... 534 00:39:39,077 --> 00:39:42,581 So, you see between us... we know everything. 535 00:39:42,789 --> 00:39:44,124 You don't know everything. 536 00:39:44,916 --> 00:39:46,434 Between us we do. 537 00:39:46,763 --> 00:39:48,175 All right then! 538 00:39:49,546 --> 00:39:51,757 You see that woman over there? 539 00:39:52,549 --> 00:39:54,760 What colour knickers is she wearing? 540 00:39:55,260 --> 00:39:57,637 - Red ones, like her hat. - No, she isn't. 541 00:39:57,638 --> 00:39:59,431 - How do you know? - I know. 542 00:40:01,850 --> 00:40:03,894 Well, Oliver... 543 00:40:03,895 --> 00:40:06,650 You could always go and ask... to find out. 544 00:40:07,606 --> 00:40:09,600 Go on, ask her! 545 00:40:21,994 --> 00:40:22,996 Excuse me, madam! 546 00:40:22,997 --> 00:40:25,572 I'm sorry to bother you. I think we may just have met before. 547 00:40:26,375 --> 00:40:29,720 May I trouble you in the interest of that child's education. 548 00:40:29,721 --> 00:40:31,492 May I ask you a few questions? 549 00:40:31,493 --> 00:40:32,695 Like? 550 00:40:32,696 --> 00:40:34,563 Like? Uh... 551 00:40:35,050 --> 00:40:36,969 Are these ostrich feathers? 552 00:40:37,719 --> 00:40:40,221 Who are you exactly? Do I know you? 553 00:40:40,222 --> 00:40:42,516 I'm an animal behaviourist, madam. 554 00:40:43,225 --> 00:40:46,186 Then your question doesn't sound very well informed. 555 00:40:47,062 --> 00:40:48,931 What animals are you behaving, mister? 556 00:40:48,932 --> 00:40:50,170 All animals! Madam... 557 00:40:50,812 --> 00:40:53,151 can I ask you a personal question? 558 00:40:54,475 --> 00:40:55,589 Which do you prefer... 559 00:40:55,862 --> 00:40:57,572 What colour are your knickers? 560 00:40:58,198 --> 00:41:00,241 - Black and white striped. - Thank you! 561 00:41:00,242 --> 00:41:01,493 It's a pleasure! 562 00:41:08,709 --> 00:41:11,670 You see! Black and white stripes. 563 00:41:12,087 --> 00:41:14,479 You didn't know. I knew all the time. 564 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:17,040 - You did? - Yes, I saw them yesterday. 565 00:41:17,467 --> 00:41:20,128 And why did you make me go through all that, then? 566 00:41:23,765 --> 00:41:25,267 Excuse me! 567 00:41:25,856 --> 00:41:28,519 Just in case you don't believe me, I can show you. 568 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,272 No, thank you very much! We believe you. 569 00:41:31,273 --> 00:41:33,931 - I insist! - It's really quite all right. 570 00:41:33,932 --> 00:41:34,932 Thank you! 571 00:41:37,988 --> 00:41:41,198 If you are both zoologists as you claim... 572 00:41:41,199 --> 00:41:43,666 you pride yourself in your powers of observation. 573 00:41:43,667 --> 00:41:45,837 You must continue these experiments. 574 00:41:46,663 --> 00:41:49,666 If you don't look at the evidence, you'll cheat on the child. 575 00:41:50,751 --> 00:41:52,761 Come with me or... 576 00:41:52,762 --> 00:41:55,612 I swear... I'll kick this table over. 577 00:41:56,465 --> 00:41:57,299 Go on then! 578 00:42:00,322 --> 00:42:01,131 God! 579 00:42:01,762 --> 00:42:04,351 And now I'll knock over this one if you don't go with me at once. 580 00:42:04,352 --> 00:42:06,766 All right! All right! Where to? 581 00:42:06,767 --> 00:42:07,893 Just follow me. 582 00:42:11,773 --> 00:42:13,039 Go on then! 583 00:42:14,024 --> 00:42:15,275 Thanks very much! 584 00:42:21,782 --> 00:42:24,826 All right smart zoologist. Now see for yourself. 585 00:42:30,180 --> 00:42:31,222 Go on! 586 00:42:37,005 --> 00:42:41,217 That will cost you �40... and there is another thing... 587 00:42:41,218 --> 00:42:42,997 Van Meegeren and I believe... 588 00:42:42,998 --> 00:42:44,997 it's better for you and your precious brother 589 00:42:44,988 --> 00:42:48,860 not to see Alba Bewick... before it's too late. 590 00:42:48,861 --> 00:42:50,017 Too late? 591 00:42:50,018 --> 00:42:53,253 If you both feel so lonely, you can't help yourself... 592 00:42:53,254 --> 00:42:54,619 come and see me. 593 00:42:55,065 --> 00:42:58,828 Together, if you must. And I don't tell dirty stories. 594 00:43:22,342 --> 00:43:24,219 Don't press too hard. 595 00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:26,137 My back aches. 596 00:43:26,138 --> 00:43:27,431 Where does it ache? 597 00:43:27,639 --> 00:43:30,308 It was the hips... and along the spine. 598 00:43:30,309 --> 00:43:32,352 Don't worry! It's natural recovering. 599 00:43:32,561 --> 00:43:34,521 Let's have you in a seating position. 600 00:43:37,149 --> 00:43:40,693 - Tell me. What happened to my leg? - What do you mean? 601 00:43:40,694 --> 00:43:43,112 Where is it now? Have you sold it? 602 00:43:43,113 --> 00:43:44,238 It was incinerated. 603 00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:44,921 Where? 604 00:43:44,922 --> 00:43:46,493 Don't concern yourself with it. 605 00:43:46,494 --> 00:43:47,575 Where? 606 00:43:47,576 --> 00:43:49,577 In the hospital incinerator. 607 00:43:49,578 --> 00:43:51,772 What is your connection with the zoo? 608 00:43:52,497 --> 00:43:54,540 I am veterinarian consultant. Why do you ask? 609 00:43:54,541 --> 00:43:56,992 Do you perform amputations on animals? 610 00:43:57,377 --> 00:43:58,712 If they are necessary. 611 00:43:59,755 --> 00:44:02,757 Do you fit animals with artificial legs? 612 00:44:02,758 --> 00:44:05,301 Where are these questions leading, Alba? 613 00:44:05,302 --> 00:44:08,764 Is animal surgery so different from human surgery? 614 00:44:10,307 --> 00:44:12,184 There are many similarities. 615 00:44:24,738 --> 00:44:26,238 What's this for? 616 00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:27,406 It's for a surprise. 617 00:44:27,407 --> 00:44:29,075 What sort of a surprise? 618 00:44:29,076 --> 00:44:31,661 Don't be alarmed. I'm sure you'll like it. 619 00:44:31,662 --> 00:44:34,705 What sort of surprise will it be if we tell you? 620 00:44:34,706 --> 00:44:37,833 You take too many liberties. 621 00:44:37,834 --> 00:44:40,879 I do! They're all in your interest. 622 00:44:46,677 --> 00:44:49,762 - Is that a real angelfish? - Yes! 623 00:44:49,763 --> 00:44:51,263 Can it fly? 624 00:44:51,264 --> 00:44:54,926 Well it could... it still couldn't escape. It's a caged fish. 625 00:44:54,927 --> 00:44:57,770 - Can it swim away? - But where to swim to? 626 00:44:57,771 --> 00:45:00,588 The Sargasso sea. That's where all fish go. 627 00:45:00,849 --> 00:45:01,803 Is it? 628 00:45:01,804 --> 00:45:04,236 Yes! That's where mother's leg has gone. 629 00:45:05,070 --> 00:45:06,153 How come? 630 00:45:06,154 --> 00:45:07,780 It was taken by a shark. 631 00:45:07,781 --> 00:45:10,272 Call him Van Meegeren, perhaps... 632 00:45:10,409 --> 00:45:11,914 Who's he? 633 00:45:11,915 --> 00:45:14,214 Oh... just a keeper of legs. 634 00:45:15,747 --> 00:45:18,258 Do you keep lots of black-and-white fish? 635 00:45:18,259 --> 00:45:20,335 - Yes! - Zebra-fish? 636 00:45:20,336 --> 00:45:23,649 We also have... parrot-fish, elephant-fish... 637 00:45:23,650 --> 00:45:25,822 rat-fish and tiger-sharks. 638 00:45:25,823 --> 00:45:29,027 You see, fish anticipated everything that was to come. 639 00:45:29,334 --> 00:45:32,263 I don't know why even it's involved to go on... 640 00:45:32,264 --> 00:45:35,142 - Why go further? - There are no swan-fish. 641 00:45:42,058 --> 00:45:45,610 Oliver? I mean... Oswald? 642 00:45:45,611 --> 00:45:47,695 What do you doing here so late? 643 00:45:47,696 --> 00:45:48,905 Reptiles. 644 00:45:49,906 --> 00:45:51,124 I want to tell you about... 645 00:46:12,763 --> 00:46:13,782 Seat here. 646 00:46:14,306 --> 00:46:18,100 Reptiles differ from their immediate amphibian ancestors 647 00:46:18,101 --> 00:46:21,813 by having a skin capable of retaining body moisture. 648 00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,315 Which meant that animals for the first time... 649 00:46:24,316 --> 00:46:27,610 Isn't it a bit late to be watching reptiles? 650 00:46:27,611 --> 00:46:29,577 A forty million years to that. 651 00:46:32,115 --> 00:46:34,116 What's all this watching for? 652 00:46:34,117 --> 00:46:35,608 We're trying to work it out. 653 00:46:36,161 --> 00:46:37,703 What out? 654 00:46:37,704 --> 00:46:41,011 Why we should come all this way... slowly and painfully... 655 00:46:41,625 --> 00:46:44,752 inch by inch, fraction by fraction, second by second... 656 00:46:44,753 --> 00:46:47,560 so that my wife should die by a swan? 657 00:46:47,923 --> 00:46:49,966 Very personal view of evolution. 658 00:46:49,967 --> 00:46:53,719 What of a swan and my wife got in common? 659 00:46:53,720 --> 00:46:55,347 - Me! - You? 660 00:46:55,764 --> 00:47:01,310 And my car, an amputated leg, my lost child.... 661 00:47:01,311 --> 00:47:04,772 Before the vast majority of reptiles by now� 662 00:47:04,773 --> 00:47:06,640 Reptiles didn't die out. 663 00:47:08,068 --> 00:47:10,459 They grew feathers and became birds. 664 00:47:11,196 --> 00:47:14,532 So our swan was a flying lizard? 665 00:47:14,533 --> 00:47:16,867 Did Jupiter know that when he raped Leda? 666 00:47:16,868 --> 00:47:19,050 He didn't raped her. She was willing. 667 00:47:19,737 --> 00:47:20,955 Mon Dieu, Oswald! 668 00:47:20,956 --> 00:47:22,632 Are you implying I was? 669 00:47:22,633 --> 00:47:24,000 What do you mean? 670 00:47:24,001 --> 00:47:27,086 You've been trying to tell me, you and Oliver, 671 00:47:27,087 --> 00:47:29,755 that I was responsible for your wives death. 672 00:47:29,756 --> 00:47:31,675 No! We haven't! 673 00:47:33,468 --> 00:47:36,096 And things have suddenly changed. 674 00:47:37,681 --> 00:47:41,310 Forcing the development of new sexual apparatus... 675 00:47:41,768 --> 00:47:43,161 Where is Oliver? 676 00:47:43,604 --> 00:47:45,071 He's working. 677 00:47:46,773 --> 00:47:51,819 He heaps stinking snails... letting butterflies free. 678 00:47:51,820 --> 00:47:53,271 He should go there. 679 00:47:53,780 --> 00:47:56,283 It's full of snails and butterflies. 680 00:47:56,700 --> 00:48:00,036 If you left a bicycle by the back door... 681 00:48:00,037 --> 00:48:02,830 and you went indoors to use the toilet... 682 00:48:02,831 --> 00:48:07,336 when you came out... the saddle was covered in snails... 683 00:48:07,878 --> 00:48:10,441 licking up your sweat! 684 00:48:12,799 --> 00:48:14,885 I haven't been there for 15 years... 685 00:48:16,386 --> 00:48:18,347 I'd quite like to die there. 686 00:48:19,681 --> 00:48:21,266 You must go there for me. 687 00:48:21,475 --> 00:48:24,144 You might find my Felipe Arc-en-Ciel. 688 00:48:24,811 --> 00:48:26,438 The key is in my bag. 689 00:48:30,692 --> 00:48:32,778 Good Lord, Alba! Which one? 690 00:48:33,612 --> 00:48:36,999 I don't know! I've forgotten. 691 00:48:37,491 --> 00:48:39,076 You better try them all. 692 00:48:42,871 --> 00:48:46,521 Start with this one. It looks right. 693 00:48:52,631 --> 00:48:54,341 Why did you keep all these? 694 00:48:55,133 --> 00:48:56,830 I've always had them. 695 00:48:57,678 --> 00:49:02,057 You must never throw a key away. Did you know that? 696 00:49:03,558 --> 00:49:04,873 Kiss me. 697 00:49:06,478 --> 00:49:11,038 Crocodiles and their relatives, the gharials, alligators and caimans... 698 00:49:11,039 --> 00:49:13,610 - Your leg... - What leg? 699 00:49:15,362 --> 00:49:17,155 Don't be so sensitive. 700 00:49:18,198 --> 00:49:22,369 You'd be surprised... what a novelty it is. 701 00:49:23,370 --> 00:49:27,059 Come on! I want more than a kiss. 702 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:29,583 You might like it. 703 00:49:29,584 --> 00:49:31,253 Your brother did! 704 00:50:22,262 --> 00:50:23,764 What's the charge? 705 00:50:24,097 --> 00:50:25,057 Charge... 706 00:50:25,933 --> 00:50:28,560 The charge is �30. 707 00:50:32,105 --> 00:50:34,191 Do you think the zebra was a mistake? 708 00:50:36,026 --> 00:50:36,985 Never! 709 00:50:37,611 --> 00:50:40,380 Do you think that black and white stripes are useful? 710 00:50:41,823 --> 00:50:43,492 I'm sure they are. 711 00:50:44,451 --> 00:50:46,954 Since the zebra is such a beautiful animal... 712 00:50:47,704 --> 00:50:48,806 you'd have thought that. 713 00:50:48,807 --> 00:50:51,510 That man would have invented a fanciful hybrid, 714 00:50:51,511 --> 00:50:52,511 wouldn't you? 715 00:50:53,335 --> 00:50:55,742 You know, like a... Centaur. 716 00:50:56,755 --> 00:51:01,424 A black and white Centaur... half woman, half zebra... 717 00:51:02,344 --> 00:51:08,500 with striped breasts, ever-ready haunches, and a white tail... 718 00:51:10,060 --> 00:51:11,478 a black hair... 719 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:15,722 They'd only put it in the zoo. 720 00:51:16,275 --> 00:51:17,985 Next to the Unicorn. 721 00:51:18,568 --> 00:51:20,070 And the mermaid. 722 00:51:21,530 --> 00:51:23,824 Animals are always kept for profit. 723 00:51:25,409 --> 00:51:27,952 Maybe that's what they are for. 724 00:51:27,953 --> 00:51:30,871 There're many ways of making a profit. 725 00:51:30,872 --> 00:51:33,083 If I had the money to own a zoo... 726 00:51:33,292 --> 00:51:35,921 I would stock it with mythological animals. 727 00:51:36,378 --> 00:51:38,005 And where would you find them? 728 00:51:39,256 --> 00:51:41,124 It would ask you to help me. 729 00:51:42,327 --> 00:51:44,511 Oh, I'm very expensive. 730 00:52:07,784 --> 00:52:11,787 You don't seem to have protected Alba from the attentions of Oliver and Oswald. 731 00:52:11,788 --> 00:52:14,374 I can't control the world like a sentry. 732 00:52:15,167 --> 00:52:19,338 You could ensure for more effective alternatives than a woman with one leg. 733 00:52:22,299 --> 00:52:26,178 Would they be interested in a woman with no legs at all? 734 00:52:27,137 --> 00:52:30,973 Since you, obviously, put more interest in her than you do in me 735 00:52:30,974 --> 00:52:33,268 you ought to be able to answer the question yourself. 736 00:52:40,525 --> 00:52:42,693 Captain Hook had one leg... 737 00:52:42,694 --> 00:52:44,112 It was his arm. 738 00:52:44,321 --> 00:52:45,780 and Long John Silver. 739 00:52:45,781 --> 00:52:47,990 They were both fictional, so they don't count. 740 00:52:47,991 --> 00:52:49,742 And Victor Hugo's father. 741 00:52:49,743 --> 00:52:51,827 He wrote fiction so he doesn't count. 742 00:52:51,828 --> 00:52:53,490 It was a cork leg. 743 00:52:54,066 --> 00:52:55,363 Really? 744 00:52:56,083 --> 00:53:00,544 Oh, I wonder if he had that much trouble having it fitted it as I am. 745 00:53:00,545 --> 00:53:02,540 Next time you two must come with me. 746 00:53:02,541 --> 00:53:03,372 Why? 747 00:53:03,373 --> 00:53:05,659 To protect to me from unnecessary attentions. 748 00:53:05,660 --> 00:53:06,897 You're imaging it. 749 00:53:06,898 --> 00:53:09,804 Pinocchio's legs were wooden... well... Toulouse-Lautrec... 750 00:53:09,805 --> 00:53:12,929 He had legs... they were just a little short. 751 00:53:12,930 --> 00:53:14,517 Now, his father kept horses. 752 00:53:14,518 --> 00:53:17,311 So? Marie Antoinette's father kept pigs that'd go after her. 753 00:53:17,312 --> 00:53:19,522 Marie Antoinette's father didn't keep pigs... 754 00:53:19,523 --> 00:53:21,024 Somebody's father did. 755 00:53:21,608 --> 00:53:23,652 You two are improving, aren't you? 756 00:53:24,403 --> 00:53:27,811 What a twosome, you and another. Yeah, Beta... 757 00:53:35,664 --> 00:53:37,899 Shall we jump in now or later? 758 00:53:38,917 --> 00:53:40,816 How'd we taste like? 759 00:53:41,545 --> 00:53:43,671 Grief doesn't flavour anything. 760 00:53:43,672 --> 00:53:45,465 It's just sour. 761 00:53:45,757 --> 00:53:47,926 - Excuse me! Can I have a word with you? - Go ahead! 762 00:53:49,219 --> 00:53:50,990 Wouldn't you like to speak to me alone? 763 00:53:50,991 --> 00:53:53,138 - No! - Oh, dear! 764 00:53:53,139 --> 00:53:54,640 Grief is a great healer. 765 00:53:54,641 --> 00:53:56,934 I hear you might be looking for some dead animals. 766 00:53:56,935 --> 00:53:57,935 I may be. 767 00:53:57,936 --> 00:53:59,166 Well, what exactly are you looking for? 768 00:53:59,167 --> 00:53:59,865 Reptiles. 769 00:53:59,866 --> 00:54:01,731 - Would something a bit bigger do? - Not yet. 770 00:54:01,732 --> 00:54:02,898 Would a crocodile do? 771 00:54:02,899 --> 00:54:04,900 Well, it might but I'm unlikely to find one. 772 00:54:04,901 --> 00:54:07,236 - How much would you pay? - Pay? I haven't thought. 773 00:54:07,872 --> 00:54:09,746 Well, with the insurance money and that, you're not badly off. 774 00:54:09,747 --> 00:54:10,996 That's none of your business. 775 00:54:10,997 --> 00:54:12,621 - �40. - That seems a lot. 776 00:54:12,622 --> 00:54:14,785 All right! �35. 777 00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,495 Where did you get that? 778 00:54:16,496 --> 00:54:20,374 In a zoo community of 7.000 animals there are deaths every day. 779 00:54:20,375 --> 00:54:22,753 I mean crocodiles are not immortal. 780 00:54:27,215 --> 00:54:30,260 De Milo, with my instructions, has made you a dress. 781 00:54:30,719 --> 00:54:34,138 It's a copy in every detail of the one worn by madam Van Heysen 782 00:54:34,139 --> 00:54:36,725 both to "Concert" and "The Music Lessons". 783 00:54:37,434 --> 00:54:41,355 We now nearly have the entire wardrobe seen in Vermeer's paintings. 784 00:54:42,064 --> 00:54:45,316 I came for an artificial leg, not an artificial dress. 785 00:54:45,317 --> 00:54:46,901 Just to please me. 786 00:54:46,902 --> 00:54:49,279 Milo, help Alba with her dress. 787 00:54:51,448 --> 00:54:52,950 Have you two met? 788 00:54:54,242 --> 00:54:58,830 I know enough Milo... to know that you favour black 789 00:54:59,039 --> 00:55:01,917 and plan to earn your living as a writer. 790 00:55:03,168 --> 00:55:05,212 I know a publisher. 791 00:55:05,420 --> 00:55:08,923 You must come and tell me... some dirty stories. 792 00:55:08,924 --> 00:55:10,466 Oh, what you would like? 793 00:55:10,467 --> 00:55:11,789 I can tell you about... 794 00:55:11,790 --> 00:55:15,391 what Venus did to the Unicorn in Beardsley's "Under the Hill". 795 00:55:15,392 --> 00:55:16,055 Milo... 796 00:55:16,056 --> 00:55:18,225 He got paid 60 guineas. 797 00:55:18,684 --> 00:55:21,310 Would you think 60 guineas was worth it? 798 00:55:21,311 --> 00:55:22,657 Milo, put the dress up! 799 00:55:23,230 --> 00:55:26,984 In this room, as you can see, I am in use for holding pins. 800 00:55:28,318 --> 00:55:30,028 Do I really have to? 801 00:55:31,113 --> 00:55:33,656 Come on! Sit at the piano. Can you play? 802 00:55:33,657 --> 00:55:35,617 Nothing very complicated. 803 00:56:04,605 --> 00:56:06,356 It needs a tack here. 804 00:56:08,108 --> 00:56:09,818 There's not enough spread. 805 00:56:11,153 --> 00:56:12,863 Pity about the hair. 806 00:56:17,034 --> 00:56:20,084 Let me out of here. C'est terrible! 807 00:56:21,038 --> 00:56:22,623 What's so terrible? 808 00:56:22,831 --> 00:56:27,293 I'm an excuse for medical experiments... and Art theory. 809 00:56:27,294 --> 00:56:30,254 You must get me out of here and out of the hospital. 810 00:56:30,255 --> 00:56:32,798 They are trying to help you. 811 00:56:32,799 --> 00:56:35,594 Help me, for God's shake! What do you thinking? 812 00:56:36,637 --> 00:56:40,634 I am staged... and sewn to the music stool. 813 00:56:41,433 --> 00:56:43,894 Look! I'm imprisoned! 814 00:56:51,568 --> 00:56:54,371 This is one of the most specialized of birds 815 00:56:54,372 --> 00:56:57,239 which is evolved during the past few million years 816 00:56:57,240 --> 00:57:00,034 to exploit this one particular environment. 817 00:57:00,286 --> 00:57:05,499 Shallow ??? lakes and lagoons swamp with microscopic life. 818 00:57:11,421 --> 00:57:12,631 Milo! 819 00:57:40,534 --> 00:57:41,762 It's beautiful! 820 00:57:43,245 --> 00:57:45,621 Does Alba really know what she's got here? 821 00:57:45,622 --> 00:57:46,957 I'm sure of that. 822 00:57:48,125 --> 00:57:49,810 Does she really know what she's doing? 823 00:57:50,168 --> 00:57:52,461 She's trying to start all over again. 824 00:57:52,462 --> 00:57:54,613 By sleeping with two brothers who can't tell the difference 825 00:57:54,614 --> 00:57:57,644 between pleasure and grief and take advantage of her loneliness? 826 00:57:57,679 --> 00:58:00,888 My impression was she was taking advantage of our loneliness. 827 00:58:01,123 --> 00:58:01,889 So... 828 00:58:02,889 --> 00:58:06,684 who's gaining most out of this... neutral exploitation? 829 00:58:06,685 --> 00:58:07,893 At the moment I am. 830 00:58:07,894 --> 00:58:09,228 Why you? 831 00:58:09,229 --> 00:58:10,655 'Cause I'm enjoying this! 832 00:58:11,440 --> 00:58:13,995 You are here but worry about exploitation... 833 00:58:13,996 --> 00:58:16,570 and Alba is not here but in bed without a leg. 834 00:58:38,467 --> 00:58:40,177 Now, open your eyes. 835 00:58:41,737 --> 00:58:43,903 We've not find you a Felipe Arc-en-Ciel 836 00:58:43,904 --> 00:58:46,179 but we have find you an apartment. 837 00:58:46,808 --> 00:58:49,144 Now you'll be safe from Art and the Medicine. 838 00:58:49,353 --> 00:58:52,571 It looks very expensive... 839 00:58:53,909 --> 00:58:55,755 and a little bit vulgar. 840 00:58:57,235 --> 00:58:59,454 It's certainly convenient for the zoo. 841 00:59:00,113 --> 00:59:02,324 And who's going to pay for all this? 842 00:59:03,134 --> 00:59:04,088 We are! 843 00:59:04,089 --> 00:59:07,991 And here is a reminder of how it really goes... 844 00:59:16,171 --> 00:59:17,734 I see... 845 00:59:17,735 --> 00:59:20,202 Exchanging one prison for another... 846 00:59:20,968 --> 00:59:23,303 but the music is still the same. 847 00:59:25,138 --> 00:59:28,350 - So, I am to be a kept woman? - Not so you'd notice. 848 00:59:29,476 --> 00:59:31,894 Will I be able to escape if I want to? 849 00:59:31,895 --> 00:59:34,397 Of course! You know I don't believe in cages. 850 00:59:34,398 --> 00:59:37,693 Suppose... I don't want to escape... 851 00:59:37,694 --> 00:59:38,694 Grief, Alba! 852 00:59:39,259 --> 00:59:41,238 Free to come and go as you please. 853 00:59:41,446 --> 00:59:44,199 Good! Just want to get that straight. 854 00:59:44,825 --> 00:59:47,405 You know they clip the wings of birds in the zoo. 855 00:59:47,406 --> 00:59:49,361 Yeah! But they always grow again. 856 00:59:50,080 --> 00:59:53,791 Now that wasn't a such a blithe thing to see in the circumstances, was it? 857 00:59:53,792 --> 00:59:54,806 Sorry! 858 00:59:56,128 --> 00:59:57,688 Who has the keys? 859 00:59:57,963 --> 00:59:59,488 You can have the keys... 860 00:59:59,489 --> 01:00:03,263 The keys are in it. Look! You are as free as a bird! 861 01:00:05,345 --> 01:00:06,888 Just like Leda. 862 01:00:08,682 --> 01:00:11,178 Prove I am as free as a bird. 863 01:00:11,179 --> 01:00:12,019 Prove it? 864 01:00:14,760 --> 01:00:15,731 All right! 865 01:00:16,440 --> 01:00:18,666 All right! You just sit on your balcony 866 01:00:18,667 --> 01:00:21,134 at 9 o' clock tomorrow morning and I'll show you 867 01:00:21,135 --> 01:00:23,144 how easy it is to free birds. 868 01:00:23,755 --> 01:00:24,295 Ok! 869 01:00:24,823 --> 01:00:28,737 Let's hear all the changes in the face of new evidence... 870 01:00:29,661 --> 01:00:32,288 I am about to become a mother... 871 01:00:32,289 --> 01:00:34,843 and you are about to become a father... 872 01:00:35,601 --> 01:00:36,500 or fathers. 873 01:00:36,501 --> 01:00:37,719 - You what? - You are? 874 01:00:37,720 --> 01:00:38,944 - I am! - Good lord! 875 01:00:38,945 --> 01:00:39,850 - Why not? - You can? 876 01:00:39,851 --> 01:00:41,092 Of course! 877 01:00:41,093 --> 01:00:43,023 Is leglessness a form of contraception? 878 01:00:43,024 --> 01:00:45,386 - I'm not sure. - You're not sure! 879 01:00:45,387 --> 01:00:47,887 - I'm delighted! - You are delighted! 880 01:00:47,888 --> 01:00:50,556 A pregnant cripple and you're delighted. 881 01:00:50,557 --> 01:00:52,516 Think of what it will do to my sense of balance! 882 01:00:52,517 --> 01:00:54,226 It might help! Give you more stability. 883 01:00:54,227 --> 01:00:56,228 Then you recommend it? 884 01:00:56,229 --> 01:00:58,327 Recommendation is one thing. 885 01:00:58,328 --> 01:01:00,373 A womb on crutches is another. 886 01:01:00,374 --> 01:01:02,778 So... who's the father? 887 01:01:03,496 --> 01:01:05,598 Well, well, well... 888 01:01:05,599 --> 01:01:07,708 Why don't you discuss it between yourselves? 889 01:01:07,709 --> 01:01:08,884 Why, don't you know? 890 01:01:08,885 --> 01:01:10,104 Grand Dieu! 891 01:01:10,105 --> 01:01:13,360 Does an animal behaviourist need to ask such questions? 892 01:01:14,373 --> 01:01:17,751 As far as I'm concerned... you both are. 893 01:01:17,752 --> 01:01:19,267 - But you... - No buts! 894 01:01:21,555 --> 01:01:24,462 You're brothers, aren't you? 895 01:01:24,463 --> 01:01:27,425 What's a few spermatozoa among brothers! 896 01:02:03,765 --> 01:02:04,776 Oliver! 897 01:02:05,924 --> 01:02:08,126 Invigorating as the sight may be to you, 898 01:02:08,127 --> 01:02:12,681 perhaps, you can tell me... something about their escape. 899 01:02:13,390 --> 01:02:14,783 You think I should know? 900 01:02:15,726 --> 01:02:20,031 I understand that you are critical about my... custody of birds. 901 01:02:22,566 --> 01:02:24,192 They look like twins. 902 01:02:24,985 --> 01:02:28,863 Could they fly like that? Do you think? Trying together like that? 903 01:02:28,864 --> 01:02:30,073 We could learn them. 904 01:02:31,408 --> 01:02:33,117 Could my fish learn? 905 01:02:33,118 --> 01:02:34,161 I'm sure! 906 01:02:34,911 --> 01:02:36,079 It's lonely. 907 01:02:37,581 --> 01:02:40,234 I'll show you what to do. Come with me! 908 01:02:40,542 --> 01:02:44,838 Both the tiger and the zebra carry their own prison bars. 909 01:02:45,756 --> 01:02:49,671 But whereas the tiger stripes undoubtedly service camouflage, 910 01:02:50,279 --> 01:02:53,146 the stripes of the zebra are now no longer believed 911 01:02:53,147 --> 01:02:54,844 to be protective colouring. 912 01:02:56,308 --> 01:02:59,614 The flamingo chromism it gets on crustaceans. 913 01:03:00,115 --> 01:03:02,005 The richer the dark pink of the feathers. 914 01:03:02,230 --> 01:03:04,065 Your birds are too pale. 915 01:03:04,066 --> 01:03:07,193 Fresh prawns are rather difficult to keep, 916 01:03:07,194 --> 01:03:08,611 as I'm sure you understand. 917 01:03:08,612 --> 01:03:11,822 The flamingo enclosure is a 10 feet by 12. 918 01:03:11,823 --> 01:03:16,661 You have 123 birds, which gives each bird... 1 square feet. 919 01:03:16,662 --> 01:03:18,622 A flamingo is not aroused standing on, my lads. 920 01:03:19,581 --> 01:03:22,125 There you are! A mirror image. 921 01:03:22,918 --> 01:03:25,045 It's not that impossible to find. 922 01:03:25,837 --> 01:03:29,632 Flamingos never express a temperature lower than 5 C. 923 01:03:29,633 --> 01:03:31,510 Nor do they respect traffic tickets. 924 01:03:32,344 --> 01:03:35,680 Your fugitive cold... and anaemic flamingos 925 01:03:35,681 --> 01:03:38,432 don't look terribly like they're waiting for taxi, do they? 926 01:03:38,433 --> 01:03:41,339 We've got it wrong. They're waiting for a bus... 927 01:03:42,312 --> 01:03:43,480 to Africa. 928 01:03:44,356 --> 01:03:45,774 How charming! 929 01:03:46,191 --> 01:03:47,818 Oliver, a warning: 930 01:03:48,485 --> 01:03:52,001 Snails, butterflies and our birds have escaped from the zoo. 931 01:03:52,002 --> 01:03:54,387 I can't prove that you are responsible Oliver... 932 01:03:54,388 --> 01:03:56,925 but I'm sure my suspicions are not too far from the truth. 933 01:03:58,120 --> 01:03:59,496 Be careful! 934 01:05:25,415 --> 01:05:27,501 I've got to go back to the hospital. 935 01:05:28,043 --> 01:05:28,961 Why? 936 01:05:29,586 --> 01:05:32,373 - I'm going to lose the other one. - Other what? 937 01:05:35,634 --> 01:05:37,401 This one. 938 01:05:44,643 --> 01:05:46,455 What's the matter with you? 939 01:05:47,020 --> 01:05:48,688 It looks alright, doesn't it? 940 01:05:48,689 --> 01:05:51,649 Of course it does! What's wrong with it? 941 01:05:51,650 --> 01:05:52,935 It's got to go. 942 01:05:52,936 --> 01:05:54,822 Oh, you're joking! You can't be serious! 943 01:05:54,823 --> 01:05:56,298 You're pulling my leg? 944 01:05:57,614 --> 01:05:58,824 It's dying! 945 01:05:59,533 --> 01:06:01,285 How could it be dying? 946 01:06:02,035 --> 01:06:03,987 It's all on its own. 947 01:06:05,122 --> 01:06:06,431 It's lonely. 948 01:06:09,001 --> 01:06:12,065 You never see a female leg in Vermeer. 949 01:06:12,789 --> 01:06:13,989 Have you noticed? 950 01:06:14,923 --> 01:06:17,634 Do you think it's a conspiracy by Van Meegeren? 951 01:06:18,844 --> 01:06:22,910 It's Van Meegeren who says, "He's got to come off". 952 01:06:22,911 --> 01:06:25,475 He says it's a shock to the spine. 953 01:06:27,666 --> 01:06:30,432 I'm getting so that I can hardly move. 954 01:06:32,220 --> 01:06:33,691 Feel it! 955 01:06:33,692 --> 01:06:36,069 It's cold! Don't you think? 956 01:06:37,779 --> 01:06:41,033 Could you both love this leg as much as me? 957 01:06:42,618 --> 01:06:45,383 It's the only leg I've got left. 958 01:06:47,664 --> 01:06:51,668 How much of your body can you lose and still recognize yourself? 959 01:06:55,756 --> 01:07:00,959 Two legs look so good together, don't you think? 960 01:07:02,262 --> 01:07:04,601 They complement one another. 961 01:07:07,392 --> 01:07:11,187 It's as just they were made for each other. 962 01:07:14,232 --> 01:07:15,618 Like us. 963 01:07:16,944 --> 01:07:18,715 Like your legs, Alba... 964 01:07:20,030 --> 01:07:21,840 We are complementary. 965 01:07:22,407 --> 01:07:24,242 Of course you are. 966 01:07:25,504 --> 01:07:28,985 Oh! What's the name of the piece at the back of the knee? 967 01:07:28,986 --> 01:07:30,509 Hasn't got a name. 968 01:07:30,510 --> 01:07:31,916 Oh! That I won't miss it! 969 01:07:31,917 --> 01:07:34,094 Oh, some other common features haven't got a name 970 01:07:34,095 --> 01:07:36,963 Like this small piece of gristle that separates the nose. 971 01:07:36,964 --> 01:07:38,775 It also keeps them together. 972 01:07:39,508 --> 01:07:41,927 Why do we have to have two nostrils? 973 01:07:42,261 --> 01:07:44,400 Why do we have to have two of everything? 974 01:07:44,401 --> 01:07:47,115 - Symmetry is all. - We are twins. 975 01:07:50,060 --> 01:07:52,164 I know you are. 976 01:07:54,356 --> 01:07:58,327 Just because you've chosen now to reveal your amazing secret, 977 01:07:58,841 --> 01:08:00,403 doesn't mean I have to be surprised. 978 01:08:00,404 --> 01:08:03,031 - Who told you? - No one! 979 01:08:03,240 --> 01:08:04,666 I guessed! 980 01:08:05,284 --> 01:08:07,660 - Not even your wives told me. - They didn't know. 981 01:08:07,661 --> 01:08:09,221 They didn't know? Come on! 982 01:08:09,222 --> 01:08:10,110 They didn't know! 983 01:08:10,111 --> 01:08:13,084 They knew we were brothers, but they were never told that we were twins. 984 01:08:13,085 --> 01:08:16,520 Well, now... That is a surprise! 985 01:08:23,222 --> 01:08:24,200 Well! 986 01:08:25,520 --> 01:08:30,302 They can't torture me anymore by running straws between my toes. 987 01:08:30,303 --> 01:08:33,690 I can't be tickled to death on the soles of my feet. 988 01:08:33,691 --> 01:08:34,520 I can't be knee capped. 989 01:08:34,521 --> 01:08:36,856 Or get housemaid's knee or athlete's foot. 990 01:08:36,857 --> 01:08:40,068 - Or get verrucas. - You can get verrucas on your hands. 991 01:08:41,987 --> 01:08:43,697 Say goodbye to my leg. 992 01:08:44,865 --> 01:08:46,014 Both of you. 993 01:08:49,192 --> 01:08:50,346 Bye, leg! 994 01:08:50,919 --> 01:08:52,581 Go on, Oswald. 995 01:08:55,596 --> 01:08:57,100 Goodbye, leg! 996 01:08:58,228 --> 01:08:59,229 Kiss it! 997 01:09:00,547 --> 01:09:02,132 It needs a send-off. 998 01:09:04,676 --> 01:09:06,841 Here... 999 01:09:06,842 --> 01:09:08,322 and here. 1000 01:11:30,113 --> 01:11:31,448 Come to the window. 1001 01:11:37,537 --> 01:11:38,705 Turn off the light. 1002 01:11:45,295 --> 01:11:46,672 What are you watching? 1003 01:11:47,297 --> 01:11:49,063 It's a condolescence present... 1004 01:11:49,306 --> 01:11:51,923 to celebrate your return to the zoo hotel. 1005 01:11:53,595 --> 01:11:55,565 I turned out the rhino. 1006 01:11:56,014 --> 01:11:57,370 It followed me to the corner. 1007 01:11:57,371 --> 01:11:59,078 - And then you abandoned it. - It'll be all right. 1008 01:11:59,079 --> 01:12:01,833 - Suppose it will attack someone. - It won't! It's short-sighted. 1009 01:12:01,834 --> 01:12:03,551 Carry me to the window. 1010 01:12:03,552 --> 01:12:05,649 I've never been to Africa. 1011 01:12:22,057 --> 01:12:24,976 The rhino seems able to look after himself. 1012 01:12:28,188 --> 01:12:29,690 Take me back to bed! 1013 01:12:32,442 --> 01:12:33,985 Come and join me. 1014 01:13:17,487 --> 01:13:20,032 Now! How about changing sides? 1015 01:13:20,407 --> 01:13:22,324 No, I'm happy on the left. 1016 01:13:22,325 --> 01:13:25,454 I exactly know my place and feel very comfortable in it. 1017 01:13:26,872 --> 01:13:28,108 Though it's possibly on this night 1018 01:13:28,109 --> 01:13:31,000 for the first time that I'm prepared to acknowledge this. 1019 01:13:31,001 --> 01:13:32,335 Know your place! 1020 01:13:33,211 --> 01:13:34,921 Since before I was three. 1021 01:13:35,839 --> 01:13:37,506 You have a long memory. 1022 01:13:37,507 --> 01:13:39,843 And a few scars to prove it. 1023 01:13:42,387 --> 01:13:43,690 Bellow the ear. 1024 01:13:44,931 --> 01:13:46,141 At the shoulder. 1025 01:13:49,603 --> 01:13:51,063 Along the hip. 1026 01:13:54,191 --> 01:13:55,650 And along the shin. 1027 01:13:59,446 --> 01:14:01,365 Oswald and Oliver... 1028 01:14:02,824 --> 01:14:04,618 Siamese twins. 1029 01:14:07,329 --> 01:14:10,247 Why haven't you acknowledged it before? 1030 01:14:10,248 --> 01:14:11,416 Maternal advice. 1031 01:14:11,625 --> 01:14:13,876 "Say nothing and nobody will ever know". 1032 01:14:13,877 --> 01:14:16,406 But it's something special to shout of it, isn't it? 1033 01:14:16,407 --> 01:14:17,407 Was it? 1034 01:14:17,408 --> 01:14:19,906 Freaks and rarities used to be kept in the circuses. 1035 01:14:20,560 --> 01:14:22,635 Now that we're civilized they're kept in zoos. 1036 01:14:22,636 --> 01:14:25,746 Our mother didn't like the idea of us being a rare species. 1037 01:14:25,747 --> 01:14:26,747 In the zoo... 1038 01:15:03,093 --> 01:15:05,624 You have no right to use zoo equipment... 1039 01:15:05,625 --> 01:15:07,763 for any old animal you find in the street. 1040 01:15:07,764 --> 01:15:09,961 Especially not a black and white one. 1041 01:15:09,962 --> 01:15:11,892 Not to die on by a malicious driver. 1042 01:15:11,893 --> 01:15:14,182 What is it, Hoyten, about black and white animals 1043 01:15:14,183 --> 01:15:17,151 that you must preserve your special animosity for them? 1044 01:15:17,607 --> 01:15:19,476 - Nothing! - What did you say? 1045 01:15:20,485 --> 01:15:23,779 Unless you pay me a �200 for the use of that dog... 1046 01:15:23,780 --> 01:15:25,299 It's not yours to sell. 1047 01:15:25,300 --> 01:15:28,218 And if we can prove you killed it, you will do the paying. 1048 01:15:28,744 --> 01:15:32,002 I should report this misuse of zoo property... 1049 01:15:32,371 --> 01:15:33,891 to Fallast. 1050 01:15:35,167 --> 01:15:36,284 You do that. 1051 01:15:52,184 --> 01:15:54,061 I sit here for hours! 1052 01:15:57,272 --> 01:15:59,524 It's like sitting amongst lighthouses. 1053 01:16:02,277 --> 01:16:06,281 Each lighthouse is giving you a bearing of lost spaces of time. 1054 01:16:08,867 --> 01:16:11,842 There're tens of thousands of photographs taken here. 1055 01:16:12,496 --> 01:16:14,428 All taken very patiently. 1056 01:16:14,429 --> 01:16:16,846 Because decay can be very slow. 1057 01:16:18,460 --> 01:16:20,629 Nine months for the human body... 1058 01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:22,994 they say! 1059 01:17:22,482 --> 01:17:23,984 Why zebras... 1060 01:17:25,819 --> 01:17:29,239 always given for the last letter of the alphabet? 1061 01:17:30,198 --> 01:17:32,242 Can you think of a better word? 1062 01:17:35,037 --> 01:17:40,167 What did they use for "Z"... before they knew zebras existed? 1063 01:17:40,751 --> 01:17:44,094 That was so long ago, nobody needed an alphabet. 1064 01:17:45,172 --> 01:17:48,423 I think the letter "Z" was invented especially for zebras. 1065 01:17:50,552 --> 01:17:52,262 What is your name? 1066 01:17:54,306 --> 01:17:55,198 Why? 1067 01:17:56,641 --> 01:17:58,643 Felipe Arc-en-Ciel. 1068 01:18:12,949 --> 01:18:17,534 If you've got any control of it, I want to be buried here. 1069 01:18:18,288 --> 01:18:20,120 It's not consecrated ground. 1070 01:18:20,121 --> 01:18:24,127 Well! We could make it consecrated ground. 1071 01:18:24,336 --> 01:18:28,589 I'll be cremated and you can scatter my ashes here. 1072 01:18:28,590 --> 01:18:30,258 Snails don't like ashes. 1073 01:18:30,467 --> 01:18:32,552 They'll just have to put up with them! 1074 01:18:33,970 --> 01:18:36,889 By the way, you still owe me a cripple. 1075 01:18:36,890 --> 01:18:37,766 Pardon! 1076 01:18:38,308 --> 01:18:43,012 I said you could only come here, if you find me a cripple to cherish... 1077 01:18:43,313 --> 01:18:46,440 and I expect you to find him before I deliver. 1078 01:18:46,441 --> 01:18:48,995 Are we likely to find him for you? 1079 01:18:48,996 --> 01:18:50,986 You intend to make him push us out? 1080 01:18:50,987 --> 01:18:52,816 Push you out? 1081 01:18:52,817 --> 01:18:55,574 You are both zoologists. 1082 01:18:55,575 --> 01:18:57,869 I want you to be there when I deliver. 1083 01:18:58,412 --> 01:19:01,535 It might cure you with your obsession with decay. 1084 01:19:02,207 --> 01:19:03,999 Keep looking! 1085 01:19:19,725 --> 01:19:22,143 - "P" is for... - Penguin. 1086 01:19:22,144 --> 01:19:24,687 - "Q" is for... - Quagga. 1087 01:19:24,688 --> 01:19:27,189 - "R" is for... - Rhinoceros. 1088 01:19:27,190 --> 01:19:28,942 - "S" is for... - Swan. 1089 01:19:50,756 --> 01:19:53,717 I'm told Vermeer's wife never sat for him. 1090 01:19:53,925 --> 01:19:57,554 Vermeer's wife, Catherina Bolnes, gave him 14 children. 1091 01:19:57,929 --> 01:20:00,264 My Catherina Bolnes is barren. 1092 01:20:00,265 --> 01:20:02,392 Your Catherina Bolnes... 1093 01:20:03,685 --> 01:20:06,813 She changed her name by ??? because I asked it. 1094 01:20:09,383 --> 01:20:12,235 Oh dear, what an influence you must have! 1095 01:20:13,070 --> 01:20:15,906 I understand that you are now called... Leda? 1096 01:20:16,281 --> 01:20:19,409 It is an affectionate joke with no strings. 1097 01:20:19,618 --> 01:20:20,994 I'm glad! 1098 01:20:22,371 --> 01:20:23,597 You glad? 1099 01:20:24,606 --> 01:20:26,330 Dear Alba... 1100 01:20:26,331 --> 01:20:29,179 I've been very close to you... to the operating table. 1101 01:20:29,628 --> 01:20:33,297 With just a little encouragement from you I could be as close again. 1102 01:20:33,298 --> 01:20:35,092 Take your arms off! 1103 01:20:36,093 --> 01:20:38,928 Come on! What excite??? a legless woman come by? 1104 01:20:38,929 --> 01:20:41,681 Enough to make your attention superfluous. 1105 01:20:41,890 --> 01:20:45,018 Get off, Meegeren, you fake! 1106 01:20:45,227 --> 01:20:47,204 Your shoes are ??? 1107 01:20:47,813 --> 01:20:50,273 I can always take my shoes off. 1108 01:20:51,400 --> 01:20:54,360 If that was calculated to be cruel... 1109 01:20:54,361 --> 01:20:56,738 you, certainly, don't know how to make an appeal. 1110 01:20:56,739 --> 01:20:58,690 Even, on the poorest level! 1111 01:20:59,449 --> 01:21:02,452 Now leave... and take Vermeer with you! 1112 01:21:03,578 --> 01:21:06,246 Your Catherina Bolnes is waiting for you. 1113 01:21:06,247 --> 01:21:07,347 Barren or not! 1114 01:21:10,711 --> 01:21:14,135 I've got... got this new story for you about the origin of the species. 1115 01:21:14,136 --> 01:21:14,999 You know one... 1116 01:21:15,424 --> 01:21:17,811 What walks on four legs in the morning, 1117 01:21:17,812 --> 01:21:21,271 two legs in midday and... three legs in the afternoon? 1118 01:21:21,722 --> 01:21:23,515 Do you think Alba would like it? 1119 01:21:23,724 --> 01:21:26,226 It's yours for �25. 1120 01:21:26,852 --> 01:21:28,769 We want you to make us a suit. 1121 01:21:28,770 --> 01:21:30,771 I know! Plenty of measuring inside leg? 1122 01:21:30,772 --> 01:21:33,065 God, Milo! You got a one track mind! 1123 01:21:33,066 --> 01:21:36,111 By that you mean you've got two... one each! 1124 01:21:37,612 --> 01:21:40,781 We want you... to make us a suit. 1125 01:21:40,782 --> 01:21:42,992 There are plenty of respectable tailors. 1126 01:21:42,993 --> 01:21:45,219 A three-piece suit. 1127 01:21:45,871 --> 01:21:47,456 Who's the third part for? 1128 01:21:47,664 --> 01:21:49,663 All three parts are for us, Milo. 1129 01:21:50,208 --> 01:21:53,462 But are you capable of handling the inside arms? 1130 01:21:56,911 --> 01:21:57,690 All right! 1131 01:21:58,175 --> 01:22:00,010 I'll strike a bargain with you. 1132 01:22:00,594 --> 01:22:02,972 You get me a story published... 1133 01:22:02,973 --> 01:22:05,152 and I'll make the underwears that go with the suit. 1134 01:22:39,091 --> 01:22:41,907 Zebras die here with unfailing regularity. 1135 01:22:41,908 --> 01:22:42,885 Why is that? 1136 01:22:42,886 --> 01:22:46,013 It's about the only black and white animal left in the zoo. 1137 01:22:46,014 --> 01:22:47,973 - What about the panda? - It's stuffed. 1138 01:22:47,974 --> 01:22:51,016 - It isn't! - It is! Ask Plate! 1139 01:22:51,728 --> 01:22:54,209 It moves in about daily along the bamboo sheets. 1140 01:22:54,210 --> 01:22:55,648 How often do you see it move? 1141 01:22:55,649 --> 01:22:58,275 - It was always asleep. - Permanently asleep. 1142 01:22:58,276 --> 01:23:00,614 Plate makes dump pellets out of plasticine, 1143 01:23:00,615 --> 01:23:03,501 scatters them above the cage each afternoon. 1144 01:23:03,502 --> 01:23:05,792 - He doesn't! - He does! 1145 01:23:06,201 --> 01:23:08,536 The only trouble is he gets the colour wrong. 1146 01:23:08,537 --> 01:23:10,413 Very different color every day... 1147 01:23:10,414 --> 01:23:13,499 But don't worry! The kids know exactly what is going on. 1148 01:23:13,500 --> 01:23:15,668 I bet if you ask Beta she'd tell you. 1149 01:23:15,669 --> 01:23:17,038 What a fake! 1150 01:23:17,671 --> 01:23:19,213 How could they get away with it? 1151 01:23:19,214 --> 01:23:21,856 They've been get away with this all the time. 1152 01:23:21,857 --> 01:23:22,883 Haven't you noticed? 1153 01:23:22,884 --> 01:23:25,261 Catherina Bolnes is never the same twice. 1154 01:23:25,262 --> 01:23:27,656 You can only recognize her by that dreadful hat. 1155 01:23:28,473 --> 01:23:32,977 I'm not so certain whether Van Hoyten is always the same person. 1156 01:23:32,978 --> 01:23:34,510 The clothes are the same. 1157 01:23:34,511 --> 01:23:37,064 You always suppose to recognize him. 1158 01:23:37,065 --> 01:23:39,776 You can never fail to recognize a zebra. 1159 01:23:39,985 --> 01:23:41,403 Or an angel! 1160 01:23:41,967 --> 01:23:42,981 Hello! 1161 01:23:44,239 --> 01:23:46,160 I thought you said he had legs. 1162 01:23:46,992 --> 01:23:48,571 He's taken them off... 1163 01:23:48,572 --> 01:23:50,273 to meet you on an equal footing. 1164 01:23:50,695 --> 01:23:53,161 Felipe... Arc-en-Ciel! 1165 01:23:53,162 --> 01:23:54,970 Hello! 1166 01:23:59,588 --> 01:24:01,164 I'm a whore for freaks! 1167 01:24:01,465 --> 01:24:05,009 Separated Siamese twins... my speciality! 1168 01:24:05,010 --> 01:24:07,553 I have been told, madam, of your dramas. 1169 01:24:07,554 --> 01:24:08,757 I sympathize! 1170 01:24:09,598 --> 01:24:10,378 I, madam... 1171 01:24:10,379 --> 01:24:13,146 I'm an inordinate admirer of horses. 1172 01:24:13,393 --> 01:24:15,110 Pregnant mares, especially! 1173 01:24:15,479 --> 01:24:18,690 I've always wished that I could've served a white pregnant mare. 1174 01:24:18,899 --> 01:24:20,541 And have you tried? 1175 01:24:21,276 --> 01:24:25,030 In this present maimed company I can admit to anything. 1176 01:24:25,238 --> 01:24:27,360 A white mare was my downfall... 1177 01:24:27,361 --> 01:24:28,361 literary! 1178 01:24:28,450 --> 01:24:30,910 I was tossed and kicked... 1179 01:24:30,911 --> 01:24:33,622 but I still last after riding her. 1180 01:24:34,039 --> 01:24:36,166 Her name was Hortensia. 1181 01:24:38,418 --> 01:24:40,212 I'm jealous already! 1182 01:24:41,088 --> 01:24:43,548 Doesn't a horse has four legs? 1183 01:24:43,757 --> 01:24:46,301 Then that, madam, is just enough for both of us. 1184 01:24:50,472 --> 01:24:53,141 And this, Milo, is for you! 1185 01:24:54,226 --> 01:24:56,061 For bringing us together. 1186 01:25:02,776 --> 01:25:05,404 Come on, Oliver! You've done enough. 1187 01:25:05,612 --> 01:25:06,405 Enough? 1188 01:25:07,489 --> 01:25:11,000 This tiger walks 10 miles up and down this cage every day. 1189 01:25:11,001 --> 01:25:14,162 Do you really think it will walk fewer miles with you inside him? 1190 01:25:14,371 --> 01:25:18,107 In a striped, flannel suit with a grease in your trousers? 1191 01:25:18,108 --> 01:25:20,427 Maybe I should take a few clothes off! 1192 01:25:21,795 --> 01:25:23,422 Make it easier! 1193 01:25:23,630 --> 01:25:26,807 You suppose to let the animals out, not go in there with them. 1194 01:25:26,808 --> 01:25:29,660 How can I let out the tiger? They'd only shoot it. 1195 01:25:29,661 --> 01:25:32,205 Oliver, if you don't come out we'll shoot it anyway. 1196 01:25:32,414 --> 01:25:36,084 Enough room for this bloody change... or a strip-tease. 1197 01:25:36,293 --> 01:25:38,853 Enough of room there to what you've got. 1198 01:25:38,854 --> 01:25:41,047 Look, I think better join you. 1199 01:25:41,048 --> 01:25:44,167 Oswald! One fool in there is enough! 1200 01:25:44,168 --> 01:25:45,188 Stop him! 1201 01:25:45,469 --> 01:25:47,195 What in earth are they trying to prove? 1202 01:26:04,571 --> 01:26:07,658 The tiger was, obviously, making a prophetic gesture. 1203 01:26:10,369 --> 01:26:13,827 I can't consider the possibilities of joining you together but... 1204 01:26:13,828 --> 01:26:16,203 between us� could we satisfy the experts? 1205 01:26:16,204 --> 01:26:18,695 You've seemed to satisfy the experts before. 1206 01:26:18,696 --> 01:26:19,710 Meaning? 1207 01:26:19,711 --> 01:26:22,755 By providing the zoo with the one-legged gorilla. 1208 01:26:22,756 --> 01:26:25,124 Do you feel that the gorilla is here abused? 1209 01:26:25,425 --> 01:26:27,000 If you feel that my care is incomplete, 1210 01:26:27,001 --> 01:26:28,302 I must look at the animal again. 1211 01:26:28,303 --> 01:26:31,056 What for? To amputate its other leg? 1212 01:26:31,431 --> 01:26:34,642 If it's painful, cut it off! Is that your answer? 1213 01:26:34,643 --> 01:26:38,104 Animals on the whole are designed with a view of... symmetry. 1214 01:26:38,105 --> 01:26:40,691 Surely, in your experiments you must have seen it. 1215 01:26:40,899 --> 01:26:43,179 One of decay's first characteristics is to 1216 01:26:43,180 --> 01:26:45,127 spoil that symmetry, wouldn't you say? 1217 01:26:45,128 --> 01:26:47,071 You leave that animal alone, Meegeren! 1218 01:26:47,072 --> 01:26:48,898 Dear me... What do you think I am? 1219 01:26:48,899 --> 01:26:50,197 You're certainly not Vermeer. 1220 01:26:50,198 --> 01:26:53,661 Was it really necessary to amputate a second time on Alba Bewick? 1221 01:26:53,662 --> 01:26:55,103 Yes it was! 1222 01:26:55,414 --> 01:26:58,417 And if you doubt my abilities, I wonder why you're here! 1223 01:27:01,795 --> 01:27:03,463 Why do you want it done? 1224 01:27:04,590 --> 01:27:05,882 Completeness! 1225 01:27:08,135 --> 01:27:10,873 I will do it for nothing, though I understand that you're rich. 1226 01:27:10,874 --> 01:27:12,388 That's just not true! 1227 01:27:12,389 --> 01:27:14,308 But don't tell me. 1228 01:27:14,808 --> 01:27:15,900 How? 1229 01:27:16,560 --> 01:27:17,928 For a start... 1230 01:27:19,187 --> 01:27:21,052 let me be the father of her child. 1231 01:27:21,053 --> 01:27:22,098 - No! - No! 1232 01:27:23,275 --> 01:27:25,277 I could help you, maybe, even more. 1233 01:27:26,028 --> 01:27:26,991 I noticed, Oswald, 1234 01:27:26,992 --> 01:27:29,643 all your experimental subjects have been female. 1235 01:27:30,532 --> 01:27:32,992 Do you envisage taking your... 1236 01:27:32,993 --> 01:27:35,416 photographic experiment to completion? 1237 01:27:35,871 --> 01:27:38,623 See, Milo is a good friend of mine. 1238 01:27:38,624 --> 01:27:43,378 She weights 126 pounds. She's 5'6" in her stocking feet 1239 01:27:43,787 --> 01:27:46,506 One inch shorter than your wife, I believe. 1240 01:27:46,715 --> 01:27:50,298 Like your wife... she's now 10 weeks pregnant. 1241 01:27:51,011 --> 01:27:52,387 Child is mine. 1242 01:27:53,597 --> 01:27:55,849 She may very well have an abortion. 1243 01:27:57,392 --> 01:27:59,018 I can perform it. 1244 01:27:59,019 --> 01:28:01,270 There could be complications... 1245 01:28:01,271 --> 01:28:03,148 and I can juggle the outcome. 1246 01:28:05,359 --> 01:28:08,211 You see how much I am prepared to bargain for. 1247 01:28:09,696 --> 01:28:11,323 Stand together! 1248 01:28:12,449 --> 01:28:15,123 You see, it could be made to work. 1249 01:28:15,577 --> 01:28:17,487 I could stitch you together... 1250 01:28:18,038 --> 01:28:19,373 for a price. 1251 01:28:30,801 --> 01:28:33,418 Evolution as you know it Oswald, 1252 01:28:33,419 --> 01:28:36,806 undoubtedly, and for the moment ends with man. 1253 01:28:36,807 --> 01:28:39,433 - Some say woman. - And an apple. 1254 01:28:39,434 --> 01:28:41,937 How do you anticipate completing you inquiries? 1255 01:28:42,604 --> 01:28:46,233 How much would you pay, do you think, for a human corpse? 1256 01:28:47,025 --> 01:28:49,652 God, Hoyten! I really believe you mean it! 1257 01:28:49,653 --> 01:28:54,699 Milo is about your wife's build... and age and wit. 1258 01:28:54,700 --> 01:28:56,540 And she is pregnant with my child. 1259 01:28:59,454 --> 01:29:00,956 What's so amusing? 1260 01:29:01,873 --> 01:29:06,085 Venus de Milo is unusually fertile... or rather careless... 1261 01:29:06,086 --> 01:29:08,130 For someone without arms. 1262 01:29:08,505 --> 01:29:12,634 A little persuasion and I know that Milo is ready to visit the zebras. 1263 01:29:12,843 --> 01:29:17,114 Now zebras are notoriously fickle... very possessive of their mares. 1264 01:29:17,723 --> 01:29:19,725 Especially ??? zebra. 1265 01:29:20,350 --> 01:29:23,753 You know! The one with the soft eyes and the sharp hooves 1266 01:29:23,754 --> 01:29:26,606 - and the vicious kick - And the big prick! 1267 01:29:26,607 --> 01:29:28,567 You deceive yourself, Hoyten. 1268 01:29:28,775 --> 01:29:32,279 Just the thought you alone, I'd make sure Milo never died. 1269 01:29:38,368 --> 01:29:41,832 Here's your �400 for one female zebra. 1270 01:29:41,830 --> 01:29:44,749 Killed, no doubt, in a corner. 1271 01:29:44,750 --> 01:29:49,581 But for the same 400... you must put in... a tranquilliser gun. 1272 01:29:50,339 --> 01:29:54,843 I'm not! You're not thinking of doing your own killing, are you? 1273 01:29:55,052 --> 01:29:57,304 I strongly advise against it. 1274 01:30:14,237 --> 01:30:16,948 - Do you have a flat piece of plastic? - No! 1275 01:30:16,949 --> 01:30:19,325 - Do you have a sharpened pencil? - No! 1276 01:30:19,326 --> 01:30:20,910 You are well equipped... 1277 01:30:20,911 --> 01:30:23,156 Why're you doing this for us? 1278 01:30:24,539 --> 01:30:26,082 Isn't it obvious? 1279 01:30:26,083 --> 01:30:31,255 Venus... locks me into the hearts of men... and monkeys. 1280 01:31:44,786 --> 01:31:47,503 What makes you two think you can behave such cavalierly on this zoo? 1281 01:31:47,504 --> 01:31:50,292 We have saved this gorilla from further mutilation. 1282 01:31:51,668 --> 01:31:52,753 By killing it? 1283 01:31:53,629 --> 01:31:57,382 Thanks to you, it was ailing. Has been for the last three years. 1284 01:31:57,966 --> 01:31:59,080 Is that for you to decide? 1285 01:31:59,081 --> 01:32:02,178 This zoo is ran by an incompetent nutty bum. 1286 01:32:02,179 --> 01:32:04,513 I wonder why they've stayed here so long? 1287 01:32:04,514 --> 01:32:06,682 You need to stay no longer. You are fired! 1288 01:32:06,683 --> 01:32:08,310 On what excuse? 1289 01:32:09,019 --> 01:32:11,103 Maltreatment of animals, the one. 1290 01:32:11,104 --> 01:32:13,522 Misuse of zoo property, for another. 1291 01:32:13,523 --> 01:32:15,382 Unauthorized freeing of animals... 1292 01:32:16,068 --> 01:32:18,527 - We haven't finished. - Finish what? 1293 01:32:18,528 --> 01:32:22,011 Some bogus experiment that satisfies your obsession of grief? 1294 01:32:22,524 --> 01:32:25,257 What valuable conclusion can be gained from all this rotten meat? 1295 01:32:25,258 --> 01:32:26,577 Nothing! 1296 01:32:26,578 --> 01:32:28,079 How can you measure decay? 1297 01:32:28,080 --> 01:32:30,581 By degrees of grief, perhaps... 1298 01:32:30,582 --> 01:32:33,334 Or by planning a zoo devoted to black and white animals 1299 01:32:33,335 --> 01:32:34,607 because you're colour-blind... 1300 01:32:34,608 --> 01:32:37,393 They can assure there's no opposition by killing off 1301 01:32:37,394 --> 01:32:39,624 some of the black and white animals that aren't yours... 1302 01:32:39,625 --> 01:32:43,536 For the using a zoo for some exotic gaming of barter and blackmail... 1303 01:32:43,537 --> 01:32:47,933 Or by maiming animals so that they can be expensively patched up! 1304 01:32:56,108 --> 01:32:58,109 God grief, Alba! You kept that quiet? 1305 01:32:58,110 --> 01:33:00,070 How did you manage one each? 1306 01:33:00,279 --> 01:33:02,071 I thought I had failed. 1307 01:33:02,072 --> 01:33:04,491 After all they are not Siamese! 1308 01:33:06,118 --> 01:33:07,160 Careful! 1309 01:33:09,413 --> 01:33:11,872 - So where've you been? - We were busy. 1310 01:33:11,873 --> 01:33:13,375 How did you do it? 1311 01:33:13,584 --> 01:33:15,794 I just sat on the eggs! 1312 01:33:16,503 --> 01:33:17,643 How do you mean you were busy? 1313 01:33:17,644 --> 01:33:19,256 We got to call them. 1314 01:33:19,464 --> 01:33:21,841 - Castor and Polydeuces? - From the reign of the swan. 1315 01:33:21,842 --> 01:33:23,134 Too obvious! 1316 01:33:23,135 --> 01:33:25,595 - Gamma and Delta. - Wrong sex. 1317 01:33:25,596 --> 01:33:27,889 Do Greek letters have a sex? 1318 01:33:28,807 --> 01:33:31,170 What's the excuse for the bruises? 1319 01:33:31,977 --> 01:33:33,270 It's not important. 1320 01:33:33,854 --> 01:33:36,183 - Did you know? - Must've known? 1321 01:33:36,302 --> 01:33:39,650 No! I can't safely say I didn't... 1322 01:33:39,651 --> 01:33:41,694 but I should have guessed. 1323 01:33:41,695 --> 01:33:43,864 And what's not important? 1324 01:33:44,364 --> 01:33:47,825 We've been fired... sacked, dismissed from there 1325 01:33:47,826 --> 01:33:49,077 From the zoo? 1326 01:33:50,037 --> 01:33:52,038 What was the last drop? 1327 01:33:52,039 --> 01:33:54,374 Did you photograph a camel with a broken back? 1328 01:33:54,875 --> 01:33:56,168 How are you? 1329 01:33:56,376 --> 01:34:00,589 Tired and my feet ache. So does my back. 1330 01:34:01,465 --> 01:34:04,166 - We're sorry we weren't here. - So am I! 1331 01:34:04,167 --> 01:34:05,301 Are you pleased? 1332 01:34:05,302 --> 01:34:06,511 Of course! 1333 01:34:07,679 --> 01:34:09,306 Now give them back. 1334 01:34:14,603 --> 01:34:17,313 - What are you going to do now? - Continue! 1335 01:34:17,314 --> 01:34:19,691 Where and with what? 1336 01:34:21,360 --> 01:34:23,978 We thought you wouldn't mind us working at L'Escargot. 1337 01:34:25,572 --> 01:34:26,697 What do you doing? 1338 01:34:26,698 --> 01:34:28,200 Making a zoo. 1339 01:34:28,609 --> 01:34:31,202 - Can I look? - Only if you pay. 1340 01:34:31,203 --> 01:34:32,995 The old story! 1341 01:34:32,996 --> 01:34:35,499 But with a brand new taxonomy. 1342 01:34:36,792 --> 01:34:39,885 Only an innocent would put a spider and a fly 1343 01:34:39,886 --> 01:34:42,296 in the same cage because they were both brown. 1344 01:34:42,297 --> 01:34:44,389 Well, putting them together will probably tell an innocent 1345 01:34:44,390 --> 01:34:46,821 more of our spiders and flies, than keeping them apart. 1346 01:34:47,386 --> 01:34:50,132 - And you mustn't cheat. - Cheat? 1347 01:34:50,430 --> 01:34:54,792 I must mark the back of your hand with ink to make sure you've paid. 1348 01:34:54,793 --> 01:34:56,227 Whatever for? 1349 01:34:56,228 --> 01:35:00,607 Now you look so alike, I can't tell the difference between you any more. 1350 01:35:23,463 --> 01:35:25,107 We have L'Escargot ready. 1351 01:35:26,842 --> 01:35:28,694 When will you be allowed to come? 1352 01:35:29,428 --> 01:35:31,780 I'm well enough, but I'm not coming. 1353 01:35:33,515 --> 01:35:35,099 Why ever not? 1354 01:35:35,239 --> 01:35:39,110 I'm ill. Van Meegeren says, my spine is damaged. 1355 01:35:39,111 --> 01:35:40,381 Oh, why listen to him? 1356 01:35:41,064 --> 01:35:42,773 Haven't had enough of him? 1357 01:35:42,774 --> 01:35:44,192 I'm not coming. 1358 01:35:45,277 --> 01:35:49,781 I want to stay here... near the hospital... near the zoo. 1359 01:35:51,575 --> 01:35:53,857 But I'm well enough to tell you something... 1360 01:35:53,858 --> 01:35:55,860 that I know you are not going to like. 1361 01:35:57,706 --> 01:36:01,251 I do not want you to be the legal father of my children. 1362 01:36:03,795 --> 01:36:05,212 You what? 1363 01:36:05,213 --> 01:36:07,129 Van Meegeren has squeezed that out of you. 1364 01:36:07,130 --> 01:36:08,424 Non, pas du tout! 1365 01:36:08,425 --> 01:36:10,885 We are the father! 1366 01:36:10,886 --> 01:36:11,928 You see? 1367 01:36:11,929 --> 01:36:14,513 A bad grammar doesn't signify anything. 1368 01:36:14,514 --> 01:36:18,727 Went in in twos and they came out in twos. 1369 01:36:19,770 --> 01:36:21,146 It stopped raining. 1370 01:36:21,855 --> 01:36:24,274 I found my Arc-in-Ciel. 1371 01:36:24,983 --> 01:36:27,276 I cannot have my children having three parents. 1372 01:36:27,277 --> 01:36:29,404 What difference does that make? 1373 01:36:29,511 --> 01:36:30,405 Listen! 1374 01:36:30,992 --> 01:36:33,617 You found Felipe for me... you and Milo. 1375 01:36:34,117 --> 01:36:36,327 He's an ideal father. 1376 01:36:36,328 --> 01:36:38,871 Grief has made you unreliable. 1377 01:36:38,872 --> 01:36:41,707 On your own admission, you are jobless. 1378 01:36:41,708 --> 01:36:44,835 - I cannot risk your extreme behaviour. - You risked it before. 1379 01:36:44,836 --> 01:36:47,271 It's too much responsibility for you... 1380 01:36:47,272 --> 01:36:49,592 and you would be prevented from being together. 1381 01:36:49,593 --> 01:36:50,591 Nonsense! 1382 01:36:50,592 --> 01:36:52,760 Felipe will make a better father. 1383 01:36:52,761 --> 01:36:54,679 He's legless! 1384 01:36:54,680 --> 01:36:56,639 Did that stop me being a mother? 1385 01:36:56,640 --> 01:36:58,524 Motherhood isn't voluntary! 1386 01:37:00,060 --> 01:37:01,975 We'll take legal action. 1387 01:37:01,976 --> 01:37:05,267 Oswald, stop being petulant! 1388 01:37:05,816 --> 01:37:07,566 What would you gain? 1389 01:37:07,567 --> 01:37:13,448 I'm sure that a married male twins don't make a good legal precedent. 1390 01:37:13,657 --> 01:37:17,118 Beta now can't even tell which of you is which. 1391 01:37:17,119 --> 01:37:21,622 In the court-room... I can't imagine that you would win. And if you did... 1392 01:37:21,623 --> 01:37:24,501 you would know it was against my wishes. 1393 01:38:08,942 --> 01:38:11,881 I think Adam was a Siamese twin. 1394 01:38:11,882 --> 01:38:13,926 What happened to his brother? 1395 01:38:36,907 --> 01:38:38,701 Perhaps for some minds 1396 01:38:38,702 --> 01:38:40,650 the most difficult step to comprehend 1397 01:38:40,651 --> 01:38:42,685 in the Theory of Natural Selection 1398 01:38:42,686 --> 01:38:45,340 is the enormous leap from the higher apes 1399 01:38:45,341 --> 01:38:46,927 to 20th century man. 1400 01:38:52,381 --> 01:38:56,376 All that way to bring me to this... 1401 01:39:04,935 --> 01:39:07,179 Now I want you to be here tonight... 1402 01:39:07,180 --> 01:39:10,225 and I mean it! No prior engagements. 1403 01:39:10,691 --> 01:39:13,526 Bring Beta's record and you can watch me go. 1404 01:39:13,527 --> 01:39:15,444 Go? Where you going? 1405 01:39:15,445 --> 01:39:17,606 - I've had enough! - What do you mean? 1406 01:39:18,140 --> 01:39:20,999 My children are now spoken for, aren't they? 1407 01:39:22,369 --> 01:39:23,812 Aren't they? 1408 01:39:24,913 --> 01:39:26,498 And I am exhausted. 1409 01:39:27,916 --> 01:39:30,543 The swan succeeded in the end. 1410 01:39:30,544 --> 01:39:32,703 I'm busy tonight, so you can't go tonight. 1411 01:39:33,714 --> 01:39:35,603 What are you doing that's so important? 1412 01:39:35,604 --> 01:39:37,231 - I'm grieving! - Still? 1413 01:39:37,232 --> 01:39:38,232 Always! 1414 01:39:38,719 --> 01:39:40,678 I'm now childless as well as wifeless. 1415 01:39:40,679 --> 01:39:42,555 You've forgotten jobless and homeless. 1416 01:39:42,556 --> 01:39:43,807 Let's strike a bargain. 1417 01:39:45,225 --> 01:39:48,686 Thanks for thirty seconds of your sympathy. No bargains! 1418 01:39:48,687 --> 01:39:51,002 - No record! - No record? 1419 01:39:52,065 --> 01:39:55,151 I'm not going to bargain about a gramophone record. 1420 01:39:55,152 --> 01:39:56,360 You can stay away. 1421 01:39:56,361 --> 01:39:58,572 We will come, on one condition. 1422 01:39:59,364 --> 01:40:01,598 Don't tell me, I know! 1423 01:40:02,451 --> 01:40:04,177 You want my corpse. 1424 01:40:06,732 --> 01:40:11,292 Mon Dieu! My body for a gramophone record... 1425 01:40:11,293 --> 01:40:14,588 and a visit from a pair of Siamese twins. 1426 01:40:16,048 --> 01:40:18,132 Haven't you had enough of my body? 1427 01:40:18,133 --> 01:40:20,732 - You're our last chance! - And you were my first choice. 1428 01:40:20,733 --> 01:40:22,470 Well! Thank you both! 1429 01:40:22,471 --> 01:40:26,600 And we need the use of the garden of L'Escargot for nine months. 1430 01:40:27,184 --> 01:40:29,435 - A significant period. - Or longer. 1431 01:40:29,436 --> 01:40:32,813 We figured we can ask this because we've given up legal parenthood. 1432 01:40:32,814 --> 01:40:36,692 You've learned a thing or two from the zoo, haven't you? 1433 01:40:36,693 --> 01:40:38,904 Even if it's only how to bargain. 1434 01:40:39,863 --> 01:40:41,198 All right! 1435 01:40:41,490 --> 01:40:43,909 In the interest of science... 1436 01:40:44,117 --> 01:40:45,911 some science... 1437 01:40:46,703 --> 01:40:49,973 you can have it, if you can get it. 1438 01:40:50,374 --> 01:40:53,794 But I know you won't get it because now I have a family. 1439 01:40:54,002 --> 01:40:55,836 And you know what families are for. 1440 01:40:55,837 --> 01:40:57,623 With your permission in writing how can they stop us? 1441 01:40:57,624 --> 01:40:58,506 Oh! Easily! 1442 01:40:58,507 --> 01:41:02,426 They could write the words... insanity... Oh! Insanitary! 1443 01:41:02,427 --> 01:41:05,763 It's long been respectable to leave your body to medical science. 1444 01:41:05,764 --> 01:41:07,974 What's scientific about watching a body rot? 1445 01:41:07,975 --> 01:41:10,893 You always said, you wanted to go back to L'Escargot, so be it. 1446 01:41:10,894 --> 01:41:12,687 You'll lie quietly in the garden. 1447 01:41:12,688 --> 01:41:15,857 - With you watching? - Only the camera will be watching. 1448 01:41:17,526 --> 01:41:19,403 What's the point of watching me? 1449 01:41:19,945 --> 01:41:21,863 My body is only half here. 1450 01:41:22,197 --> 01:41:24,663 Then you'll fit better into the film frame. 1451 01:41:27,828 --> 01:41:30,247 A fine epitaph... 1452 01:41:31,415 --> 01:41:35,627 "Here lies a body cut down to fit the picture." 1453 01:41:38,088 --> 01:41:39,590 ...to share his intelligence. 1454 01:41:40,507 --> 01:41:42,967 And whatever the system he has used 1455 01:41:42,968 --> 01:41:46,721 the ability to store and pass on his knowledge... 1456 01:41:46,722 --> 01:41:48,599 is the key to his success. 1457 01:41:49,099 --> 01:41:51,100 "X" is for... 1458 01:41:51,101 --> 01:41:54,061 There aren't any animals beginning with "X". 1459 01:41:54,062 --> 01:41:55,438 "Y" is for... 1460 01:41:55,439 --> 01:41:58,482 Yak! It's a sort of ox. 1461 01:41:58,483 --> 01:42:00,986 - And "Z" is for... - Zebra! 1462 01:42:14,875 --> 01:42:16,168 Good evening, Milo! 1463 01:42:17,586 --> 01:42:19,046 It's a clear night. 1464 01:42:20,088 --> 01:42:22,633 It's not like you to speculate on the weather. 1465 01:42:23,717 --> 01:42:26,803 That's the sort of night you've been waiting for, perhaps. 1466 01:42:28,388 --> 01:42:31,545 Isn't it time you decided to do what you've been wanted to do 1467 01:42:31,546 --> 01:42:33,584 ever since I've known you Milo? 1468 01:42:41,735 --> 01:42:44,029 - You got a flat piece of plastic? - Yes! 1469 01:42:45,822 --> 01:42:47,992 - A sharpen pencil? - Yes! 1470 01:42:49,618 --> 01:42:53,333 - You are well equipped. - Yes, I am! 1471 01:42:55,486 --> 01:42:56,676 Hold this! 1472 01:44:19,082 --> 01:44:21,717 Well! Here we go! 1473 01:44:23,086 --> 01:44:25,129 What's the time? 1474 01:44:25,130 --> 01:44:26,298 One o' clock. 1475 01:44:26,715 --> 01:44:28,342 You won't be long. 1476 01:44:29,718 --> 01:44:32,303 I didn't mother 26 children of the alphabet. 1477 01:44:32,304 --> 01:44:34,806 You made an encouraging last fling. 1478 01:44:35,974 --> 01:44:37,996 I am the last of L'Escargot. 1479 01:44:38,727 --> 01:44:42,806 From here on, it's yours... along with my corpse. 1480 01:44:43,231 --> 01:44:44,815 Don't worry! 1481 01:44:44,816 --> 01:44:47,109 The papers are signed and sealed. 1482 01:44:47,110 --> 01:44:49,988 You are the last and we are already finished. 1483 01:44:51,531 --> 01:44:54,283 A zed and two noughts! 1484 01:44:54,284 --> 01:44:55,827 What a zoo! 1485 01:44:58,651 --> 01:45:00,325 All right! 1486 01:45:01,792 --> 01:45:05,128 Don't do anything with my body I wouldn't do. 1487 01:45:08,215 --> 01:45:11,134 Now I want to lie still and quiet. 1488 01:45:12,261 --> 01:45:14,304 Put on Beta's record. 1489 01:46:06,565 --> 01:46:08,691 Dogs were born for howling. 1490 01:46:08,692 --> 01:46:10,901 Cats are always prowling. 1491 01:46:10,902 --> 01:46:12,987 Beasts are always bawling. 1492 01:46:12,988 --> 01:46:15,197 Nature makes them do it. 1493 01:46:15,198 --> 01:46:19,368 All the jungle folk have habits of their own. 1494 01:46:19,369 --> 01:46:23,623 A worm will turn in quite the nicest way... 1495 01:46:23,624 --> 01:46:24,791 Oh God! 1496 01:46:26,585 --> 01:46:28,003 She's gone! 1497 01:46:32,269 --> 01:46:34,051 And what are the signs? 1498 01:46:40,933 --> 01:46:42,059 No pulse. 1499 01:46:45,646 --> 01:46:47,648 No eye movement. 1500 01:46:51,443 --> 01:46:52,986 No breathing. 1501 01:46:58,784 --> 01:47:00,369 No heart-beat. 1502 01:47:09,044 --> 01:47:11,446 The skin pales and becomes stiff. 1503 01:47:11,880 --> 01:47:13,564 Turn off that awful record! 1504 01:47:13,565 --> 01:47:15,384 Wait until is finished! 1505 01:47:16,635 --> 01:47:21,055 A horse, of course, it's such a noble beast. 1506 01:47:21,056 --> 01:47:25,518 It never shops but works and works and doesn't mind at least. 1507 01:47:25,519 --> 01:47:30,022 It shops an ox, to treat it like your pet. 1508 01:47:30,023 --> 01:47:34,653 The beasts that live can all forgive but an elephant never forgets. 1509 01:47:48,000 --> 01:47:49,250 Now what? 1510 01:47:49,251 --> 01:47:51,128 We take her to L'Escargot. 1511 01:47:52,337 --> 01:47:53,296 In a coffin? 1512 01:47:53,297 --> 01:47:56,004 For decency�s sake, we take her in a coffin. 1513 01:47:56,383 --> 01:47:58,543 In a long or a short coffin? 1514 01:47:59,886 --> 01:48:03,056 I'm sure Alba would've been amused by a short coffin. 1515 01:48:04,820 --> 01:48:08,103 At least it leaves no room for artificial legs. 1516 01:48:17,738 --> 01:48:19,489 In a long or a short coffin? 1517 01:48:19,698 --> 01:48:22,242 I don't think that it'll be for us to decide. 1518 01:48:22,910 --> 01:48:25,203 The family have arrived. 1519 01:48:26,413 --> 01:48:28,916 I'm sure they all want a long coffin. 1520 01:48:34,254 --> 01:48:38,299 Now, I see that you're upset... and you like animals. 1521 01:48:38,300 --> 01:48:40,677 So I gave you this as a present. 1522 01:48:44,848 --> 01:48:48,718 I will not be taking Alba to L'Escargot to film her decay. 1523 01:50:05,554 --> 01:50:10,766 If you go down in the woods today, you're sure of a big surprise. 1524 01:50:10,767 --> 01:50:16,063 If you go down in the woods today, you'd better go in disguise. 1525 01:50:16,064 --> 01:50:21,527 For every bear that ever there was will gather there for certain because 1526 01:50:21,528 --> 01:50:25,897 today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic. 1527 01:50:57,898 --> 01:51:02,943 Every Teddy Bear who's been good is sure of a treat today. 1528 01:51:02,945 --> 01:51:08,157 There's lots of marvellous things to eat and wonderful games to play. 1529 01:51:08,158 --> 01:51:13,579 Beneath the trees where nobody sees They'll hide and seek as long as they please 1530 01:51:13,580 --> 01:51:18,750 That's the way the Teddy Bears have their picnic. 1531 01:51:18,751 --> 01:51:22,977 Picnic time for Teddy Bears... 1532 01:51:22,978 --> 01:51:28,829 The little Teddy Bears are having a lovely time today. 1533 01:51:28,830 --> 01:51:39,041 Watch them, catch them unawares, and see them picnic on their holiday. 1534 01:51:39,042 --> 01:51:43,177 See them gaily gad about. 1535 01:51:43,178 --> 01:51:48,860 They love to play and shout. They never have any care. 1536 01:51:48,861 --> 01:51:51,448 At six o'clock their Mummies and Daddies 1537 01:51:51,449 --> 01:51:58,026 will take them home to bed, 'cause they're tired little Teddy Bears. 1538 01:52:09,094 --> 01:52:14,181 If you go down in the woods today, you'd better not go alone. 1539 01:52:14,182 --> 01:52:18,729 It's lovely down in the woods today, but safer to stay at home. 1540 01:52:19,606 --> 01:52:20,606 God! 1541 01:52:20,981 --> 01:52:22,983 This floor is hard... 1542 01:52:24,669 --> 01:52:29,255 Today's the day the Teddy Bears have their picnic. 116015