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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,865 [Meredith] When something begins, 2 00:00:04,904 --> 00:00:09,068 you generally have no idea how it's going to end. 3 00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:11,600 The house you were going to sell becomes your home. 4 00:00:11,644 --> 00:00:13,168 [# Joy Williams: Charmed Life] 5 00:00:13,213 --> 00:00:16,148 The roommates you were forced to take in become your family. 6 00:00:17,083 --> 00:00:20,052 And the one-night stand you were determined to forget 7 00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:22,816 becomes the love of your life. 8 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,849 - Hey. How long have you been up? - All night. 9 00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:30,090 I was trying to figure out how to get the tumor out of Izzie's brain. 10 00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:34,325 - Then why are you smiling? - 'Cause I figured out how to do it. 11 00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:36,892 Once Izzie's in the clear, we go to the Bahamas, 12 00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:39,803 and have our wedding on the beach. The One & Only Beach Club. 13 00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:42,569 You're gonna actually have drinks during the ceremony. 14 00:00:47,147 --> 00:00:48,808 Sure you're OK to be up and around? 15 00:00:48,848 --> 00:00:51,339 Yes. I have good days and bad days. 16 00:00:51,851 --> 00:00:55,719 Plus, I don't want to spend our entire honeymoon in a hospital bed. 17 00:00:55,755 --> 00:00:58,349 - This is not our honeymoon. - It totally is. 18 00:00:59,192 --> 00:01:02,127 - I want you to meet my friends. - I know all your friends. 19 00:01:02,162 --> 00:01:03,686 You know all my doctor friends. 20 00:01:03,730 --> 00:01:06,665 I'm a patient now. You gotta meet my patient friends. 21 00:01:06,699 --> 00:01:08,564 And they are gonna love my new husband. 22 00:01:08,601 --> 00:01:11,092 - Don't make a big deal. - I'm not gonna make a big deal. 23 00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:13,804 I'm a bride! 24 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,239 Iz, come on. I'm getting her a real one. 25 00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:19,939 I love this one. That makes it a real one. 26 00:01:19,979 --> 00:01:24,211 - Everybody, this is Alex. My husband. - [all] Hi. 27 00:01:24,250 --> 00:01:28,949 Husband, this is Austin, Star, Meg, Miguel and Alison. 28 00:01:28,988 --> 00:01:31,456 Can you turn him around so we can see the butt? 29 00:01:32,025 --> 00:01:34,721 - Yes. Alex? - [scoffs] What, are you kidding me? 30 00:01:34,761 --> 00:01:36,422 [sighs] 31 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:39,364 Oh! A big trauma just came in. That's... 32 00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,225 - That's quality booty. - [Izzie] Right? 33 00:01:42,268 --> 00:01:44,463 - Congratulations, Izzie. - Thank you. 34 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:47,439 [both laughing] 35 00:01:48,508 --> 00:01:52,376 So, uh, I had a good session with my shrink this morning. 36 00:01:53,646 --> 00:01:55,477 Did you talk to her about your mom? 37 00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:00,582 Have you seen your mom yet? 38 00:02:00,620 --> 00:02:03,589 'Cause she lives a few miles away, and she thinks you're in Iraq. 39 00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:07,491 - I am planning to see her. - When? 40 00:02:13,633 --> 00:02:17,626 - Dr. Hunt? I'm not on trauma today? - [sighs] Follow me, O'Malley. 41 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:22,168 Lieutenant Lowell, I'm Dr. Hunt, we spoke on the phone. 42 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:25,575 Major Hunt, it's good to finally meet you. My CO's told me a lot about you. 43 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:28,137 You shouldn't believe anything Steve Mason tells you. 44 00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,342 This is Dr. O'Malley, you've met Dr. Torres. 45 00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:33,580 I'm looking at Charlie's scans, but not finding anything 46 00:02:33,620 --> 00:02:38,023 - functionally wrong with the leg. - Except I can't walk or run or move, 47 00:02:38,057 --> 00:02:40,685 really, without serious pain. I've tried everything. 48 00:02:40,727 --> 00:02:43,218 Medications, physical therapy, nothing works. 49 00:02:43,263 --> 00:02:46,357 - Which could indicate nerve damage. - Or chronic pain syndrome. 50 00:02:46,399 --> 00:02:50,233 [Callie] And we can look into pain management, but surgically, 51 00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:52,204 I'm afraid there's nothing I can do. 52 00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:55,264 Actually, there is. 53 00:02:56,876 --> 00:02:58,207 You could cut it off. 54 00:02:58,678 --> 00:02:59,770 You can cut it off, 55 00:02:59,812 --> 00:03:03,680 replace it with a prosthetic leg so I can get back to Iraq, where I'm needed. 56 00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:15,486 [indistinct chatter over PA] 57 00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,530 [sighs] 58 00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,294 - Did you know why he was here? - No. 59 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,234 - Is it such an unreasonable request? - Unreasonable? 60 00:03:23,269 --> 00:03:27,205 - Cutting off a limb is dismemberment. - That kid made lieutenant at 19. 61 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,538 He was planning on spending his life in the military. 62 00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:31,271 They'll take him back with one leg? 63 00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:35,042 There have been amputees who've returned to duty with prosthetics. 64 00:03:35,081 --> 00:03:37,072 - Voluntary amputees? - Maybe, I don't know. 65 00:03:37,116 --> 00:03:41,644 I have to turn this kid away? His CO sent him here because he trusts me. 66 00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:44,953 We could get another set of scans and then try an epidural for the pain. 67 00:03:46,292 --> 00:03:47,691 Dr. Torres? 68 00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:52,031 Fine. Do an MRI and an epidural. I'll take a look at the scans, 69 00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,590 but if the leg is healthy, I'm not cutting it off. 70 00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:02,673 - Dr. Bailey, you busy today? - That depends. 71 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,974 You got any dying children you want me to become overly attached to 72 00:04:06,012 --> 00:04:08,572 - before they expire? - I have an eight-year-old 73 00:04:08,615 --> 00:04:11,550 neuroblastoma patient and he's gonna live. I feel it in my bones. 74 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:16,920 - So scrub in with me and see the joy. - Dr. Bailey, may I borrow you? 75 00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:21,627 - Who is Santa Claus? - An old, white man 76 00:04:21,661 --> 00:04:25,028 who lives at the North Pole and enters people's homes inappropriately? 77 00:04:25,064 --> 00:04:26,395 No. 78 00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,328 I'm Santa Claus. 79 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:32,167 [whirring] 80 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:34,469 [computer] All systems ready. 81 00:04:34,507 --> 00:04:37,738 Oh, no, you did not! 82 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:42,942 Oh, yes, I did. The Da Vinci S-I HD Surgical System. 83 00:04:42,982 --> 00:04:47,612 Tell me you didn't wait until I'd all but left the general surgery program 84 00:04:47,654 --> 00:04:50,987 - to buy the Da Vinci. - Care to take it out for a spin? 85 00:04:52,191 --> 00:04:55,786 - Santa! [laughs] - [beeps] 86 00:04:56,362 --> 00:05:00,799 Hey. I was thinking, you know, with Derek and Meredith getting married, 87 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:03,859 they probably don't want us hanging out in the attic much longer. 88 00:05:03,903 --> 00:05:07,600 So I was thinking I'd start looking for a condo. 89 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,336 Perfect. Then you'd finally have a place of your own. 90 00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:14,870 Actually, I was, you know, thinking maybe you'd, uh... 91 00:05:14,914 --> 00:05:18,350 - ...you'd come with me. - Absolutely. I'd love to see it. 92 00:05:18,384 --> 00:05:19,749 I am so happy for you. 93 00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:22,949 [Derek clears throat] 94 00:05:25,391 --> 00:05:27,256 How much of that did you hear? 95 00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:31,161 The part where you asked her to move in with you or where she shot you down? 96 00:05:31,197 --> 00:05:33,995 I was here for both. And, by the way, 97 00:05:34,033 --> 00:05:36,866 it's just way too early for you to be moving in with Lexie. 98 00:05:36,903 --> 00:05:40,168 - You don't have to do everything I do. - This is not about you. 99 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,902 I have my own future to think about. Life is short. 100 00:05:42,942 --> 00:05:46,139 - Look at what's going on with Stevens. - Don't worry about Stevens. 101 00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:47,646 I got a plan. 102 00:05:47,680 --> 00:05:50,478 - You want to remove her hippocampus? - [Derek] One of them. 103 00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:51,949 It's a common procedure. 104 00:05:51,984 --> 00:05:55,317 Removing her hippocampus could compromise her memory, her speech. 105 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,653 She wouldn't be able to practice medicine. 106 00:05:57,690 --> 00:06:00,318 - I've performed this hundreds of times. - On cancer patients? 107 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,227 - [Derek] No, but it's... - If you do it, I could lose my memory? 108 00:06:05,765 --> 00:06:07,665 It's unlikely, but it's possible. 109 00:06:07,700 --> 00:06:09,531 [Izzie] And if you don't do the surgery... 110 00:06:09,569 --> 00:06:11,434 [Swender] We could shrink the tumor with IL2. 111 00:06:11,471 --> 00:06:13,996 - If the tumor doesn't kill me first. - [Derek] Why take the chance? 112 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,531 - Have you done a Wada test? - [Derek] Putting her brain to sleep 113 00:06:16,576 --> 00:06:19,807 and asking her to remember flash cards is not an accurate... 114 00:06:19,846 --> 00:06:22,747 But it would tell us whether or not she could function after. 115 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:25,216 - As her physician... - [Derek] I'll do it. It's unnecessary. 116 00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:28,516 - [Swender] The surgery is unnecessary. - [Derek] She's having hallucinations. 117 00:06:28,554 --> 00:06:31,546 [waves breaking] 118 00:06:33,059 --> 00:06:36,893 [seagulls squawking] 119 00:06:42,268 --> 00:06:44,259 Nice ring. 120 00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:45,463 Alex outdid himself. 121 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:49,106 [Izzie] We're gonna have beautiful kids, don't you think? 122 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:53,442 - Is four too many? - Four is perfect. 123 00:06:54,113 --> 00:06:56,581 [Izzie] Ideally, it would be two boys and two girls. 124 00:06:56,616 --> 00:06:59,813 One of which will definitely be a tomboy. 125 00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:03,253 And I should have them close together, though that might be stupid. 126 00:07:03,823 --> 00:07:06,257 - Why wait? - Exactly. 127 00:07:06,292 --> 00:07:10,319 That way, if I'm not able to practice medicine anymore... 128 00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:13,457 - You won't want to. - You don't think? 129 00:07:13,499 --> 00:07:15,990 - Do you? - I'm asking you. 130 00:07:16,035 --> 00:07:18,970 Why do you keep agreeing with everything I say? 131 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:22,439 Because I am you. I'm your tumor. 132 00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:25,069 You're talking to yourself. 133 00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,239 - Right. - At least until you have surgery. 134 00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:34,276 If you have surgery. Are you gonna have surgery? 135 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:55,006 If Derek cuts the tumor out, I could lose my memory. 136 00:07:55,041 --> 00:07:58,135 And if he doesn't, I could die. I don't know what to do. 137 00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:02,244 - Alex, tell me what to do. - I can't tell you what to do. 138 00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:06,081 Of course. You're my husband. That's what husbands do. They stomp around 139 00:08:06,118 --> 00:08:09,019 telling their wives what to do. It's your job. 140 00:08:09,055 --> 00:08:12,320 - My job is to support you. - I don't know what I want to do. 141 00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,383 That's why I'm asking you. 142 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,791 OK, I have an idea. Let's put it to a vote. 143 00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:23,825 - All in favor of the surgery. - We're not voting. No one's voting. 144 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,805 - Opposed? - I'm opposed. 145 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,867 - To voting. - Just decide for me. Please? 146 00:08:31,911 --> 00:08:35,142 You don't have to know right now. Think about it. 147 00:08:35,181 --> 00:08:37,172 I don't have time. 148 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:45,591 Captain Mason told me you saved his life four times in the field. 149 00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,822 A couple in the canteen, but don't tell Mace I told you that. 150 00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:51,261 So you think I'll get to go back? 151 00:08:53,432 --> 00:08:58,563 Are you sure you want to? I mean, why do you want to cut off your leg 152 00:08:58,604 --> 00:09:02,370 just to go back to the war? Don't you have family? 153 00:09:02,408 --> 00:09:07,812 You know what it's like to have family who don't know you, don't get you, 154 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:11,681 - maybe don't even like you? - Yeah, actually, I have brothers. 155 00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,309 Me too. 156 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:16,745 So there's that family, the guys I grew up with, 157 00:09:16,789 --> 00:09:20,850 and we've got nothing in common. And then there's my guys in Iraq. 158 00:09:23,195 --> 00:09:25,459 My real family. 159 00:09:26,365 --> 00:09:29,129 Whatever we got into, we were in it together. 160 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:32,897 But here, I'm alone. I'm nobody. 161 00:09:32,939 --> 00:09:38,172 And I've tried. I've tried fitting in here. I've tried being a regular person. 162 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:40,678 I've tried getting a job, but there aren't any. 163 00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:45,682 There are a lot of things I wanted to be in my life, things I wanted to do. 164 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:48,476 But none of 'em's here. 165 00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:56,992 [Swender] This is Alison Clark. She was referred to me two years ago. 166 00:09:57,029 --> 00:10:01,466 - Mets in her brain, liver, kidney. - She ended up having five surgeries 167 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:03,400 and extensive chemo, which worked. 168 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:04,895 But then... 169 00:10:08,507 --> 00:10:13,240 - The mets came back. - That's when I started her IL2 therapy. 170 00:10:14,146 --> 00:10:17,980 And now, after three treatments in as many months... 171 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:25,454 - The mets are gone? - The mets are gone. 172 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:30,720 Dr. Stevens should be patient. She should give her therapies a chance. 173 00:10:31,163 --> 00:10:36,567 As surgeons, we like to cut. But sometimes there's a better way. 174 00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:44,233 [Richard] Let me retract that small bowel 175 00:10:44,276 --> 00:10:46,107 so you'll have better visualization. 176 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:50,309 [Bailey] You know what, chief? Thanks to Leo, you don't have to. 177 00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:54,547 - [Richard] Leo? - Leonardo. Da Vinci. [laughs] 178 00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,385 Watch this. See? 179 00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:02,520 Five hundred and forty degrees of wristed movement. 180 00:11:03,562 --> 00:11:06,827 - Can't do that with a laparoscope. - [Richard] Or in open surgery. 181 00:11:06,866 --> 00:11:08,993 Feels pretty good, doesn't it? 182 00:11:09,035 --> 00:11:11,435 [making sound effects] 183 00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:18,905 Dr. Bailey? Are you making lightsaber noises? 184 00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,770 Uh, not anymore, sir. [clears throat] 185 00:11:23,816 --> 00:11:27,047 You know, Dr. Chalikonda at Cleveland Clinic is doing 186 00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:30,886 single-incision gallbladder removal through the belly button. 187 00:11:30,923 --> 00:11:32,754 We can try that on the next one. 188 00:11:35,494 --> 00:11:38,691 - If you're up to it. - Don't tease me, sir. 189 00:11:38,731 --> 00:11:42,792 I'm not. Why should Dr. Chalikonda have all the fun? 190 00:11:44,770 --> 00:11:46,829 [giggling] 191 00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,568 [making sound effects] 192 00:11:50,976 --> 00:11:52,102 [Bailey giggles] 193 00:11:52,144 --> 00:11:55,671 It's impressive, but it took two years to get these results. 194 00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:59,242 - These were three months apart. - Izzie may not have three months. 195 00:11:59,285 --> 00:12:02,516 That tumor could start bleeding in three days. Or three seconds. 196 00:12:03,255 --> 00:12:07,282 - Since when are you not about cutting? - It may not be in the best interest. 197 00:12:07,326 --> 00:12:09,886 Derek's not acting in Izzie's best interests? 198 00:12:13,432 --> 00:12:15,332 They're ready for us in radiology. 199 00:12:31,550 --> 00:12:35,919 - OK, Iz, I'm going to show you... - ...a series of images you want me 200 00:12:35,955 --> 00:12:39,652 to try to remember once Derek puts the right side of my brain to sleep. 201 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:40,716 Mm-hm. 202 00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,092 - Hit me. Show me what you got. - OK. 203 00:12:43,796 --> 00:12:47,425 Is that a schnauzer or a Scottie? How specific do I need to be? 204 00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:48,763 Dog is fine. 205 00:12:50,002 --> 00:12:54,200 - It's either a 727 or a 747. - Plane. 206 00:12:56,542 --> 00:13:00,911 - Ooh. A two-story Victorian mansion. - We would also accept the word house. 207 00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:05,007 Schnauzer, 747, mansion, schnauzer, 747, mansion. 208 00:13:05,050 --> 00:13:07,883 Or dog, plane, house. 209 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:11,151 I'm putting the right hemisphere of your brain to sleep now, OK? 210 00:13:11,190 --> 00:13:14,057 [Izzie] Dog, plane, house, dog, plane, house... 211 00:13:15,895 --> 00:13:18,921 Dog, plane, house, dog, plane, house... 212 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:22,229 Dog, plane, house, dog, plane, house, dog, plane, house... 213 00:13:22,268 --> 00:13:25,965 [Derek] OK. And now we wait for the brain activity in that area to stop. 214 00:13:27,873 --> 00:13:31,331 Dog, plane, house, dog, plane... 215 00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:44,917 OK, Iz, are you gonna tell me what you saw? 216 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,062 Show her the cards. 217 00:13:54,266 --> 00:13:55,358 What's this? 218 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:02,399 Dog. Can you say "dog"? 219 00:14:02,441 --> 00:14:03,669 [grunting] 220 00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,245 [grunting] 221 00:14:07,279 --> 00:14:10,271 - What's my name? - Just stick to the cards, Meredith. 222 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:16,353 Meredith. 223 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,983 You know my name. You can say my name. 224 00:14:20,292 --> 00:14:23,750 [moaning] 225 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:27,425 - This is what I was afraid of. - OK. Who's Alex? 226 00:14:29,802 --> 00:14:33,067 Iz, you don't have to speak. Just nod your head for me 227 00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:35,733 if you know who Alex Karev is. 228 00:14:49,788 --> 00:14:53,383 The test impaired your memory to such a degree that I strongly recommend 229 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,017 you don't have the surgery. 230 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:57,187 [Derek] Izzie, it was the worst-case scenario. 231 00:14:57,229 --> 00:15:00,255 - It has nothing to do with the surgery. - [Swender] We don't know that. 232 00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:04,065 I do know that not operating is every bit as risky, if not more so. 233 00:15:04,603 --> 00:15:06,161 But it's up to you. 234 00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:12,308 - What do you think? - I think he's talking to you, not me. 235 00:15:13,012 --> 00:15:15,845 - I'll leave you two alone to discuss. - I'll come with you. 236 00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,906 - I have a couple of questions. - Alex. 237 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:21,613 Think about what you want to do for a second, OK? I'll be right back. 238 00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:34,961 You are not having the surgery. 239 00:15:37,036 --> 00:15:41,564 I need you to not talk medicine to me. Talk to me like I'm your friend, 240 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:45,839 like I'm the guy whose cereal you eat in the morning, and tell me what to do. 241 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,038 - Karev... - Please. 242 00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:50,480 - Karev, I can't tell you what to do. - What if it was Meredith? 243 00:15:51,450 --> 00:15:54,317 What would you do if you had to choose 244 00:15:54,353 --> 00:15:58,949 between spending a few more months with Meredith knowing she was gonna die, 245 00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:01,824 watching her hurt, watching her sick... 246 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:06,591 ...or spending the rest of your life with someone who looked like Meredith, 247 00:16:06,632 --> 00:16:07,792 but wasn't her anymore. 248 00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:12,597 She's the one good thing that ever happened to me. The one good thing. 249 00:16:13,339 --> 00:16:16,433 So I need to know what to do. I need you to tell me, 250 00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:18,306 what if it was Meredith? 251 00:16:21,347 --> 00:16:23,713 I would ask her to have the surgery. 252 00:16:27,720 --> 00:16:31,986 [Meredith] You couldn't remember anything. You didn't know my name. 253 00:16:32,024 --> 00:16:35,824 You didn't know who Derek was, you didn't know who Alex was. 254 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:39,319 - You couldn't remember how to speak. - Why don't I remember this? 255 00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:42,960 The tumor is sitting right in the middle of everything that makes you you. 256 00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:48,500 I was standing there talking to you exactly like I am now, 257 00:16:48,540 --> 00:16:53,000 only you weren't there. You weren't you. 258 00:16:53,045 --> 00:16:54,979 You were gone. 259 00:16:56,248 --> 00:16:59,581 - So what do I do? - Swender has a patient, 260 00:16:59,618 --> 00:17:03,247 female, 22 years old, metastatic melanoma. 261 00:17:03,288 --> 00:17:06,052 - Alison Clark? - After three months of IL2, 262 00:17:06,091 --> 00:17:08,252 her mets were gone. All of them. 263 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:12,424 You're not having this surgery. 264 00:17:15,267 --> 00:17:18,828 Don't do it. That's my vote. 265 00:17:18,871 --> 00:17:23,308 Don't have the surgery. I didn't. I freakin' hate surgery. 266 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:28,474 I'm hallucinating, Alison. 267 00:17:28,514 --> 00:17:31,005 I have really long conversations with dead people, 268 00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,245 and I see things that aren't... 269 00:17:34,319 --> 00:17:39,951 Right now, I'm pretty certain there aren't birds flying over your head, 270 00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:42,688 because this is a hospital and that would be weird, 271 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:46,562 but that's what I'm seeing. I have a brain tumor. 272 00:17:46,598 --> 00:17:49,066 Am I really not gonna let them cut it out? 273 00:17:49,101 --> 00:17:51,831 I didn't let them cut out mine. 274 00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:56,466 It's like, OK, one minute I'm this college kid, 275 00:17:56,508 --> 00:18:00,535 rowing crew and being an idiot and forgetting my sunscreen 276 00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:03,548 and thinking it doesn't matter because I'm me, 277 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,380 and life has worked out pretty well for me. 278 00:18:06,418 --> 00:18:10,718 And then, the next minute they're cutting into my body every other week. 279 00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,185 I had 15 surgeries. 280 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,188 And then I said enough. 281 00:18:18,997 --> 00:18:23,457 Forget it. I'll row crew in heaven, or whatever. 282 00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:29,639 And then the IL2 worked. It worked. 283 00:18:29,675 --> 00:18:34,476 I come here every three weeks, I get my medicine, and... 284 00:18:34,980 --> 00:18:37,414 ...I don't have a brain tumor anymore. 285 00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:45,788 Charlie, if we admit you, if we do what you're asking us to do, 286 00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:50,158 the pain in your leg, there's no way of knowing if amputation will cure it. 287 00:18:50,195 --> 00:18:52,095 - But it might. - Yes, it might. 288 00:18:52,131 --> 00:18:55,032 - And once I get the prosthetic... - It will be months 289 00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:57,592 before I can even begin fitting you with a prosthetic. 290 00:18:57,636 --> 00:19:00,070 Which won't feel anything like a new leg, by the way. 291 00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:03,165 It'll feel like five pounds of metal that hurts and pinches. 292 00:19:03,208 --> 00:19:06,302 And what if the Army says no, what if they don't take you back? 293 00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:09,371 - They will. Chances are... - You really want to take that chance? 294 00:19:09,414 --> 00:19:12,474 You're asking me to remove one of your limbs. 295 00:19:12,518 --> 00:19:15,976 You think I don't know that, you think I want to cut my leg off? Of course not. 296 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:20,321 Am I sure about this? No. The only thing I'm sure about is I'm in hell right now. 297 00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:22,384 That I'm sure of. 298 00:19:23,295 --> 00:19:27,129 I've lost everything. Everything I've worked for, everything I care about, 299 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,693 and I traded it in for a six-times-a-day pain pill habit that doesn't work. 300 00:19:30,736 --> 00:19:36,231 So don't waste both our time trying to scare me, because you don't scare me. 301 00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:39,540 After everything I've been through, nothing scares me. 302 00:19:43,382 --> 00:19:45,373 So are we gonna do this or not? 303 00:19:50,355 --> 00:19:54,587 Dr. Robbins, Dr. Bailey just performed Seattle Grace's 304 00:19:54,626 --> 00:19:57,026 first single-incision gallbladder removal. 305 00:19:57,062 --> 00:20:00,225 - Oh, wow! Cool! - Through the patient's belly button. 306 00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:03,598 - And now it's kind of creepy. - No, you should've seen it. 307 00:20:03,635 --> 00:20:06,103 No scars, no bleeding, and about half the time 308 00:20:06,138 --> 00:20:09,437 - it would've taken laparascopically. - You want to do one after lunch? 309 00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:11,567 - I've got another colon. - You don't mind? 310 00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:15,740 Oh... So I guess I'm on my own for this afternoon? 311 00:20:15,781 --> 00:20:19,239 My neuroblastoma? No, don't worry. You don't have to. 312 00:20:19,284 --> 00:20:22,481 You'll have the rest of your life to do neuroblastomas. 313 00:20:22,521 --> 00:20:25,388 - Then I'll see you after lunch, sir. - OK. 314 00:20:27,292 --> 00:20:30,489 - Chief? - Yes, Dr. Robbins? 315 00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:37,292 - Chief... - Did you want to tell me something? 316 00:20:37,336 --> 00:20:42,774 I am going to cry. I just want you to know that I know it's going to happen, 317 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:45,470 and I just want you to ignore it. 318 00:20:45,510 --> 00:20:49,344 And I'm not crying because I'm upset. It's just what happens when I get mad 319 00:20:49,381 --> 00:20:51,611 - at people of authority. - You're mad at me? 320 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:56,979 I am mad at you. And I'm crying because you're the boss, my boss, 321 00:20:57,022 --> 00:21:00,480 which brings up issues with authority and my dad, who you remind me of. 322 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:03,619 Not that you're old. But you command respect. People respect you. 323 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:07,063 I mean, I know I do. I know Bailey does. Which is why I am mad. 324 00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:10,967 Because it's wrong, sir, it's wrong and mean 325 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,700 to use a robot to lure Bailey back to general surgery. I don't have a robot. 326 00:21:14,740 --> 00:21:18,676 All I have are little kids. They're not as fun as a robot. 327 00:21:18,710 --> 00:21:22,168 And they're not shiny and new and silver, 328 00:21:22,214 --> 00:21:25,672 and they don't have things coming out of their belly buttons but... 329 00:21:25,717 --> 00:21:28,311 I will fight you. And I will win. 330 00:21:28,887 --> 00:21:33,187 - Sir. - You think you can fight me and win? 331 00:21:34,626 --> 00:21:39,120 - Yes. - [scoffs] Good luck. 332 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:45,001 Because I have something you don't have. I have joy! Sir. 333 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:53,301 [woman over PA] Dr. Toretto, pathology. Dr. Toretto, pathology. 334 00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,876 - What's going on? - We're going over Izzie's IL2 schedule. 335 00:21:58,917 --> 00:22:00,179 Oh, for after the surgery? 336 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:08,651 I decided not to have the surgery. 337 00:22:09,728 --> 00:22:13,323 - What? - Maybe we should come back. 338 00:22:13,365 --> 00:22:14,559 Dr. Yang. 339 00:22:19,404 --> 00:22:21,167 - You're having the surgery. - What? 340 00:22:21,206 --> 00:22:23,674 - Shepherd said this is your last shot. - But I just... 341 00:22:23,709 --> 00:22:26,701 I am your husband, I say that you are having the surgery! 342 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:29,576 What happened to, "This is your decision..." 343 00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:32,276 That was when I thought you were gonna make the right one! 344 00:22:32,317 --> 00:22:36,014 You chose wrong, so you don't make this decision on your own, you married me! 345 00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:39,822 It's not just your life at stake anymore! It's my life, too! 346 00:22:39,858 --> 00:22:41,382 My life with you! 347 00:22:42,761 --> 00:22:46,720 You can tell Swender whatever you want, but I'm telling Shepherd, and you, 348 00:22:46,765 --> 00:22:48,960 you are having the surgery! 349 00:22:58,443 --> 00:23:00,138 [sighs] 350 00:23:05,617 --> 00:23:08,984 [Derek] She's your friend, but that doesn't give the right to talk her out 351 00:23:09,020 --> 00:23:12,183 of a surgery you know nothing about. You're Swender's resident. 352 00:23:12,224 --> 00:23:15,819 What you did was inappropriate, it is unprofessional. You crossed a line! 353 00:23:15,861 --> 00:23:19,854 No, she didn't. I did. I'm the one who convinced Izzie not to have surgery. 354 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,957 I'm the one you should be yelling at right now. 355 00:23:26,438 --> 00:23:28,838 Well, I'm gonna go now. 356 00:23:30,142 --> 00:23:33,634 Unless you wanna apologize... OK. 357 00:23:38,817 --> 00:23:42,218 My mother disappeared right in front of me. 358 00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:45,781 Everything she had, everything she was, her dignity, her memory. 359 00:23:45,824 --> 00:23:49,453 - In the end, she wasn't even my mother. - Izzie is not your mother. 360 00:23:49,494 --> 00:23:53,225 She doesn't have an untreatable brain condition. She has a tumor. 361 00:23:53,265 --> 00:23:56,257 And it can be treated. Don't make this personal. 362 00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,099 - I wasn't. - You went to Izzie, as her friend, 363 00:23:59,137 --> 00:24:03,039 and you made up her mind for her. As my resident, go back there and change it. 364 00:24:03,074 --> 00:24:05,838 Because this tumor will kill her. 365 00:24:10,682 --> 00:24:12,650 Quick consult, Dr. Yang? 366 00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:16,777 [Cristina] What are you doing? 367 00:24:19,658 --> 00:24:23,526 The reason I haven't told my mother I'm back is part of me is still there. 368 00:24:23,562 --> 00:24:26,122 I made a commitment to the Army I wasn't able to fulfill. 369 00:24:26,164 --> 00:24:31,796 If my unit hadn't been destroyed, I'd be there. No wonder I can't sleep at night, 370 00:24:31,837 --> 00:24:34,829 or look my mother in the eye. You and I can't move forward. 371 00:24:34,873 --> 00:24:39,867 My work there isn't done. And until it is, I have no business being here. 372 00:24:42,581 --> 00:24:45,812 So... I've decided to go back. 373 00:24:47,652 --> 00:24:49,517 I have to go. 374 00:24:50,055 --> 00:24:52,990 - Cristina, come on. - What? What am I supposed to say? 375 00:24:54,025 --> 00:24:58,792 - I could use your support. - You don't have it. 376 00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:05,327 [typing sounds] 377 00:25:06,104 --> 00:25:10,370 Dr. Torres? Dr. O'Malley? 378 00:25:10,408 --> 00:25:13,400 I just wanted to apologize. 379 00:25:13,445 --> 00:25:15,140 - It's OK. - You don't have to. 380 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:19,913 I do. 'Cause you were trying to do your job in there, 381 00:25:19,951 --> 00:25:23,717 your job is to put people back together, not take 'em apart. I get that. 382 00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:28,722 I know it doesn't make sense to you that I want to go back to a place 383 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,591 where people get hurt and die, 384 00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:34,531 but we're there because we're trying to help people. 385 00:25:34,566 --> 00:25:38,696 Save people. The same as you. It's my job. It's who I am. It's... 386 00:25:40,605 --> 00:25:44,507 If something happened and suddenly you couldn't be a doctor anymore, 387 00:25:44,543 --> 00:25:47,376 if someone told you you couldn't do it anymore, 388 00:25:47,412 --> 00:25:51,246 wouldn't you wanna do everything you could possibly do to be a doctor again? 389 00:25:56,488 --> 00:26:01,255 [Izzie] We haven't been married 24 hours, and we've had our first fight. 390 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:05,286 That's a good sign. Fighting leads to good make-up sex. 391 00:26:07,999 --> 00:26:11,059 Are you watching birds fly around my head again? 392 00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:13,536 Am I, like, totally Snow White right now? 393 00:26:15,507 --> 00:26:19,238 - I just don't want to hurt him. - He'll come around. 394 00:26:19,277 --> 00:26:22,906 It might take a while, but once that tumor disappears, 395 00:26:22,948 --> 00:26:27,282 once you're back at work cutting open other people, he'll come around. 396 00:26:31,022 --> 00:26:33,252 Is it hummingbirds at least? 397 00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,394 I really like hummingbirds. 398 00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:45,565 - [Meredith] We need to talk to Izzie. - We are not talking Izzie 399 00:26:45,604 --> 00:26:48,664 into having surgery because your future husband is mad at you. 400 00:26:48,707 --> 00:26:52,143 He has a right to be mad. We didn't talk Izzie out of the surgery as doctors, 401 00:26:52,177 --> 00:26:56,011 - we did it as her friends. - Our job as doctors is to present the 402 00:26:56,047 --> 00:26:59,778 options, answer questions and let the patient decide the course of treatment. 403 00:26:59,818 --> 00:27:03,413 - That's what we did. - Right. Except I may have 404 00:27:03,455 --> 00:27:07,858 presented her options as, "You're having this surgery over my dead body." 405 00:27:11,062 --> 00:27:14,361 - He has a right to be mad. - [pager beeping] 406 00:27:14,399 --> 00:27:16,060 - Crap. - Who is it? 407 00:27:16,101 --> 00:27:17,261 Come on. 408 00:27:17,469 --> 00:27:19,096 [monitor beeping] 409 00:27:19,137 --> 00:27:20,798 - [Cristina] Izzie, what...? - [Meredith] What happened? 410 00:27:20,839 --> 00:27:23,467 - I don't know. Where's Swender! - Izzie, let me take over. 411 00:27:23,508 --> 00:27:25,476 [Meredith] Yeah, Izzie, come sit down. 412 00:27:37,188 --> 00:27:39,520 [George] The vessels and nerves are separated. 413 00:27:39,557 --> 00:27:40,990 [Owen] Skin flap is done. 414 00:27:41,026 --> 00:27:45,554 Remind me again why I'm doing this. Someone remind me again. 415 00:27:49,367 --> 00:27:53,804 You don't know what's gonna happen to this kid, how many fights he could win, 416 00:27:53,838 --> 00:27:56,739 how many lives he could save. 417 00:27:58,376 --> 00:28:02,870 [Owen] If you don't do this, he's never gonna get the chance. 418 00:28:02,914 --> 00:28:07,010 We're not doing harm. We're not hurting him. We're saving him. 419 00:28:07,052 --> 00:28:08,747 [George] We're doing what he wants. 420 00:28:10,855 --> 00:28:12,618 It's what he wants. 421 00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:32,510 [drill sounding] 422 00:28:35,580 --> 00:28:38,014 [beeping] 423 00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:40,347 - BP's still dropping. - We need more blood. 424 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:42,910 - We need to move faster. - [Cristina] I'm done. I'm at the end. 425 00:28:42,954 --> 00:28:46,583 - I didn't see any bowel perforation. - It's there somewhere. Run it again. 426 00:28:46,624 --> 00:28:48,489 - [Cristina] Dr... - [Swender] Run it again. 427 00:28:50,562 --> 00:28:52,257 Yes, ma'am. 428 00:28:53,631 --> 00:28:55,326 So much for IL2. 429 00:28:57,168 --> 00:28:58,897 You think this is my fault? 430 00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:03,432 - You think I did this to her? - No, ma'am. 431 00:29:03,475 --> 00:29:08,572 There is no cure for cancer, Dr. Yang. There's only us, the two of us, 432 00:29:08,613 --> 00:29:12,549 right here, fighting this thing as aggressively as we know how. 433 00:29:12,584 --> 00:29:16,486 And sometimes that means pumping toxins into the patient to kill the cancer. 434 00:29:16,521 --> 00:29:22,153 And, yes, sometimes, not very often, those toxins kill the patient as well. 435 00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:26,459 But Alison had three months to live when she first came to see me, 436 00:29:26,498 --> 00:29:29,058 and I have managed to keep her alive for two years. 437 00:29:29,968 --> 00:29:34,996 So I am not about to give up on her, or the IL2, anytime soon, 438 00:29:35,039 --> 00:29:36,700 and neither are you. 439 00:29:45,283 --> 00:29:50,277 I wasn't asking you to see the condo. I was asking you to move in with me. 440 00:29:52,123 --> 00:29:54,751 If that's what you want. 441 00:29:56,427 --> 00:29:58,395 - I do. - You do? 442 00:29:58,429 --> 00:30:02,695 - Yeah. Not right away. - No, of course not. In like... 443 00:30:02,734 --> 00:30:05,225 - ...a year. I'm sorry, what, now? - Ten years. Oh. 444 00:30:05,270 --> 00:30:09,673 Well, because I'll still be a resident for, like, six more years, 445 00:30:09,707 --> 00:30:12,972 and then I'd want to get my practice up and running, so... 446 00:30:13,611 --> 00:30:15,875 - How about seven? - How about five years? 447 00:30:15,914 --> 00:30:19,441 - I'll still be a resident. - So? Stevens and Karev are residents. 448 00:30:19,484 --> 00:30:23,545 Meredith's a resident. Bailey's a resident. All married, or soon to be. 449 00:30:23,588 --> 00:30:25,920 And happily. Or whatever. 450 00:30:27,692 --> 00:30:32,220 I'm sorry, are you asking me to marry you? 451 00:30:32,263 --> 00:30:34,754 - No! - [laughs] 452 00:30:35,333 --> 00:30:36,891 - Why? Would you? - Um... 453 00:30:36,935 --> 00:30:40,063 - Should we be having this conversation? - No, probably not. 454 00:30:40,104 --> 00:30:41,833 OK... 455 00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:45,809 - Impressive work today, Dr. Bailey. - [chuckles] Thank you, sir. It was fun. 456 00:30:45,844 --> 00:30:48,608 Yeah, it was, wasn't it? 457 00:30:56,354 --> 00:31:01,485 - Sounds like you guys had a good day. - How'd the neuroblastoma kid do? 458 00:31:01,526 --> 00:31:05,018 Oh. He was awesome. The surgery was easy, he gonna make a full recovery. 459 00:31:05,063 --> 00:31:06,928 That's kinda why I wanted you there. 460 00:31:06,965 --> 00:31:10,765 Because the kids you can save almost make up for the ones you can't. 461 00:31:10,802 --> 00:31:13,396 Anyways, I'm gonna go monitor him at post-op, 462 00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:17,875 and then I'll tell his family the good news. Stop by, come see the joy. 463 00:31:18,176 --> 00:31:20,144 OK. 464 00:31:22,580 --> 00:31:26,209 [# Katie Herzig & Matthew Perryman Jones: Where The Road Meets The Sun] 465 00:31:45,203 --> 00:31:50,266 [Swender] We had to resect part of her bowel. 466 00:31:50,308 --> 00:31:53,300 Unfortunately, we weren't able to finish the surgery 467 00:31:53,344 --> 00:31:55,278 because she was too unstable. 468 00:31:56,347 --> 00:32:00,613 Right now, she's on a ventilator because she can't breathe on her own. 469 00:32:02,954 --> 00:32:05,479 But you'll be able to finish the surgery, right? 470 00:32:07,659 --> 00:32:10,321 [Swender] Yes, if she stabilizes. 471 00:32:10,361 --> 00:32:12,921 And then she'll be able to breathe on her own again? 472 00:32:20,071 --> 00:32:23,768 Your daughter's heart stopped during the surgery, 473 00:32:23,808 --> 00:32:26,276 which means her brain wasn't getting oxygen. 474 00:32:29,147 --> 00:32:32,241 So it's unlikely she'll be able to come off a ventilator. 475 00:32:38,222 --> 00:32:40,782 [sobbing] 476 00:32:53,871 --> 00:32:56,271 [waves crashing] 477 00:33:15,193 --> 00:33:16,353 [George] Izzie? 478 00:33:17,362 --> 00:33:20,331 Izzie. Izzie. 479 00:33:21,399 --> 00:33:23,663 - You're paging me. Are you OK? - [Izzie] No. 480 00:33:23,701 --> 00:33:26,829 I don't know what to do. 481 00:33:26,871 --> 00:33:30,432 I don't know if I should have the surgery. I'm gonna die either way. 482 00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:31,999 You gotta tell me what to do. 483 00:33:33,077 --> 00:33:35,671 - You know what to do. - No, I don't. 484 00:33:37,348 --> 00:33:40,613 - I don't. - Yes, you do. 485 00:33:41,386 --> 00:33:45,755 You're just scared to do it. All this back and forth, it's just fear. 486 00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:49,758 But... you've already made the decision. 487 00:33:51,996 --> 00:33:55,432 You made it. You made it the second you decided to fight this thing. 488 00:33:58,436 --> 00:34:01,803 Just look... look where you started. 489 00:34:03,307 --> 00:34:05,138 Look where you are now. 490 00:34:05,977 --> 00:34:10,676 I mean, now you're this incredible surgeon... 491 00:34:12,383 --> 00:34:14,112 ...and teacher. 492 00:34:16,754 --> 00:34:19,188 - You're a doer, remember? - [chuckles] 493 00:34:26,164 --> 00:34:29,065 You know exactly what you have to do. 494 00:34:37,842 --> 00:34:40,037 - [knocking on door] - Come in. 495 00:34:46,150 --> 00:34:47,777 You can do it. 496 00:34:48,352 --> 00:34:50,752 You can cut into my brain again. 497 00:34:54,025 --> 00:34:55,083 OK. 498 00:34:56,394 --> 00:35:00,455 You can do it, but I don't want to end up a vegetable. 499 00:35:00,498 --> 00:35:02,489 - Izzie, you won't... - No, just listen. 500 00:35:03,935 --> 00:35:07,803 I want the surgery right now. But, if something goes wrong, 501 00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:09,830 I don't want to end up on a ventilator. 502 00:35:12,243 --> 00:35:14,302 So I'm signing a DNR. 503 00:35:19,984 --> 00:35:21,849 [sighs] 504 00:35:26,057 --> 00:35:27,752 - Please. - Alex... 505 00:35:27,792 --> 00:35:31,455 You went crazy. When Denny signed that DNR, you went crazy. That what you want? 506 00:35:31,496 --> 00:35:34,590 You want me cutting LVADs? You want to wreck my career? 'Cause I will. 507 00:35:34,632 --> 00:35:38,864 I will freakin' cut LVADs before I let you just... Wait! Stop! 508 00:35:39,403 --> 00:35:43,066 You don't get to quit. You don't get to quit on me. 509 00:35:43,808 --> 00:35:49,075 Please. Tear it up. The DNR. Tear it up! 510 00:35:52,183 --> 00:35:55,675 Where your eyes are supposed to be right now, 511 00:35:55,720 --> 00:35:58,086 I see white, sandy beaches. 512 00:35:59,357 --> 00:36:04,021 And there's an ocean behind your head and ghosts wandering in and out. 513 00:36:05,563 --> 00:36:07,827 I can't live like this. 514 00:36:07,865 --> 00:36:10,026 And I can't live... 515 00:36:12,737 --> 00:36:17,140 If something goes wrong in that surgery, I don't want any extraordinary measures 516 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:21,703 taken to keep me alive. It's not what I want. 517 00:36:21,746 --> 00:36:26,740 I went crazy when Denny signed the DNR because I didn't understand. 518 00:36:26,784 --> 00:36:29,082 I didn't understand, but now I do. 519 00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,351 And I need you to understand. 520 00:36:33,357 --> 00:36:37,521 I don't want you to go crazy. I want you to have a brilliant career. 521 00:36:37,562 --> 00:36:40,793 And I hope I get to be here for it. But if I can't, 522 00:36:40,831 --> 00:36:43,823 I just want to go to the other side. 523 00:36:43,868 --> 00:36:46,701 I don't know what's there, but it's gotta be better 524 00:36:46,737 --> 00:36:50,332 than hospital beds and tubes down my throat. So please. 525 00:36:50,374 --> 00:36:54,037 Please don't cut LVADs. 526 00:36:54,078 --> 00:36:55,943 Just... 527 00:36:57,114 --> 00:37:01,414 ...if it comes down to it, 528 00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,215 just let me go. 529 00:37:12,530 --> 00:37:14,794 And right now, kiss me. 530 00:37:15,199 --> 00:37:17,963 Please just kiss me and close your eyes, 531 00:37:18,002 --> 00:37:20,402 because the beach is so distracting. 532 00:37:44,662 --> 00:37:46,755 I always thought it would be me. 533 00:37:48,532 --> 00:37:51,626 I'd get Alzheimer's, like my mother, and forget everyone. 534 00:37:57,875 --> 00:37:59,843 Let's go to city hall tomorrow. 535 00:38:01,679 --> 00:38:04,944 I don't want to spend another day not being married to you. 536 00:38:06,517 --> 00:38:08,280 OK. 537 00:38:30,107 --> 00:38:32,632 It doesn't matter how good you are. 538 00:38:33,477 --> 00:38:35,138 Or how hard you work. 539 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,614 You can do all the research, 540 00:38:37,648 --> 00:38:41,049 you can master all the latest techniques, 541 00:38:41,085 --> 00:38:45,021 I mean, you can be the best... you can be the best surgeon in the world... 542 00:38:46,824 --> 00:38:49,292 ...but your patients are still gonna die. 543 00:38:52,263 --> 00:38:57,098 Because the next day or the next month or the next year, 544 00:38:57,134 --> 00:39:02,504 you know, they're just gonna get hit by a car or find a mole on their back. 545 00:39:06,310 --> 00:39:08,676 And there's nothing you can do about it. 546 00:39:12,516 --> 00:39:14,882 I don't want you to die. 547 00:39:14,919 --> 00:39:17,945 [# Sugarplum Fairies: Hold On To Me] 548 00:39:29,600 --> 00:39:30,726 You OK? 549 00:39:33,771 --> 00:39:35,739 I cut off a healthy leg. 550 00:39:36,273 --> 00:39:38,264 I just cut it off. 551 00:39:39,110 --> 00:39:43,012 It was for the patient's own good. But still, I feel like a butcher. 552 00:39:43,047 --> 00:39:48,110 My miracle case is on life support. I thought I had one. 553 00:39:49,186 --> 00:39:53,054 One miracle. 554 00:39:53,090 --> 00:39:57,117 [sighs] I hate this job sometimes. 555 00:39:58,129 --> 00:39:59,994 I don't know why we do this. 556 00:40:02,666 --> 00:40:05,100 Come on. Come with me. 557 00:40:13,444 --> 00:40:15,469 OK. What are we doing here? 558 00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,375 We came to see that. 559 00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:22,284 - [Swender] What? - [Bailey] The joy. 560 00:40:23,721 --> 00:40:29,250 It comes around rarely. So rarely, we forget it can happen. 561 00:40:30,995 --> 00:40:34,863 But that... That's why we do this. 562 00:40:35,266 --> 00:40:37,029 The joy. 563 00:40:49,613 --> 00:40:54,050 [Meredith] We spend our whole lives worrying about the future, 564 00:40:54,084 --> 00:40:57,747 planning for the future, 565 00:40:57,788 --> 00:41:00,552 trying to predict the future. 566 00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:02,654 Will you come with me? 567 00:41:08,866 --> 00:41:12,302 [Meredith] As if figuring it out will somehow cushion the blow. 568 00:41:13,838 --> 00:41:16,432 But the future is always changing. 569 00:41:17,575 --> 00:41:21,909 We've got one more. He's a doctor. He says he needs to do it today. 570 00:41:29,086 --> 00:41:30,610 Come in. 571 00:41:30,654 --> 00:41:33,384 [Meredith] The future is the home of our deepest fears... 572 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:38,852 Owen? 573 00:41:40,431 --> 00:41:42,262 Hey, Mom. 574 00:41:45,636 --> 00:41:47,194 I'm home. 575 00:41:49,406 --> 00:41:51,397 [Meredith] ...and our wildest hopes. 576 00:42:00,117 --> 00:42:02,312 But one thing is certain: 577 00:42:03,721 --> 00:42:06,189 When it finally reveals itself... 578 00:42:06,223 --> 00:42:09,989 Congratulations, doctor. Welcome to the Army. 579 00:42:10,027 --> 00:42:12,427 - [Meredith] ...the future... - Thank you. 580 00:42:12,463 --> 00:42:14,829 [Meredith] ...is never the way we imagined it. 50136

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