All language subtitles for Good Dick (2008) 1080p WEBRip.en

**

* Well, I got into my car *

* I try to take a drive *

* But the thought of you
weighed on me *

* And the traffic
killed my high *

* So I got out of my car *

* And I bid it farewell *

* Now I'm tearing
through the 16 *

* Like a bat out of hell *

* The night is coming *

* Boys, put on your suits *

* My armor
It is stunning *

* Yes, I got big boots *

* I keep my boots on *

* I keep 'em on
all night long *

* I keep my big boots on *

* Ain't nobody gonna tell me
it's wrong *

* I keep my boots on *

* I keep 'em on
all night long *

* I keep my big boots on *

* Ain't nobody gonna tell me
it's wrong *

* I walked across
the mountains *

* With my heels in the mud **

Hi.

Just these?
Yeah.

Uh, can I make
a suggestion?

I thought this looked like
it had amazing potential too,

but it is actually
really, really bad.

It's, like, two definitely
underage European girls...

hitchhiking through
the most unattractive
shots of Germany.

Greasy fat guys, like,
basically raping them.

I mean, it-it is--
it's a turn-off.

We should probably move it
to a different section,
like "Bad."

Um--

Do you want to pick
out something else?

No, thanks.

Are you sure?
We're open till midnight.
Just these.

Just these three then?

Okay. Will you, um--

Yeah.

He's gonna--

How you doing?

Great.

Okay.

We'll get that.

Two seconds.

Due back Friday
before midnight.

Dude, you can't talk
to the porn customers...

the same way you talk
to the ones who are renting
Truffaut for the 12th time.

That was an incredibly
odd exchange.

- Thanks, dude.
- I think it's cool.

Now we know
she's not mute.

We're in a new period of time.

McDonald's on every
corner in Poland.
Right, dude?

Yeah.

We think we're free because we
get to choose between a latte
and a mocha at Starbucks.

That's not freedom, man.
It's a bad situation.
Bad situation.

History is cyclical though.
It's all gonna come back around.

Bullshit! We're all fucked!

You guys been watching
Charlie Rose? We are changing
what it means to be human.

Come on.
We've always been changing
what it means to be human.

The pendulum has to swing all
the way to the extreme before
it's gonna swing back again.

"Pendulum?" What the fuck
are you talking about?

I'm talking about
the end of the world.

Good night.
Later, dude.

**

Hello?
Uh, delivery.

What?

U.P.S.

One moment.

Hi.

Don't I know you
from the video store?
I was there yesterday.

Yeah, yeah.

Hey, maybe we could--
Oh!

Uh, just get
a coffee or something?

Just as friends
or film buffs?

Can we rent all these?
Can we rent all
three of these?

Please.
Yeah, please,
we love Alain Delon!

Sure.
When are they due back?

What?

How long can we rent them?
Yeah.

Uh, Wednesday
before midnight.

Hey, it's me.

I have a friend
in the building.

I just wanted to let
you know, 'cause yesterday--

Uh, any-- anyway, I, uh--
I have a present for you.

It's really a great one.
Okay.

I'd still like to
take you out.

We could go to the, um,
Museum of Jurassic Technology.
Do you know about that place?

I'm really great at
picking out films for people.

It's-- It's a gift I have,

if you can even
call this a film.

This is from
the video store?

Oh, yeah. Yes, it is.

But you know, no charge or--

I'll return it
with the others tomorrow.
Cool.

When you know me, there
aren't any late fees, so--

I hope you enjoy it.

Hi.
Yes?

What did you think?
Um--

Can I come in?
No.

Can I come in for a second?
No!

My... great aunt had
to go to the hospital.

What?

She's the one who lives
in the building.

I guess I'm looking
after her place now.

But did you wanna
get some breakfast or something?
No.

Don't ask me again.
It's a waste of time
to keep asking me.

I'm sorry about your aunt.
I hope she's okay.

So that's a black mamba--
first deadliest snake
in the entire world.

Hey, here she comes.

Hey!

I don't know what
the second deadliest--
You said Taipan?

Go away!

No, please!
Something's happened!

Go away.
I'll call our super!

No, please! I need your help!
She died!

She's dead.
Please, can I come in?

I don't have anyone.
I'm all alone.

She died.
I don't have anyone!

Oh, fuck.
What is that thing for?

It's in case
you fucking try anything.

Um, can I open some windows?
I just feel like
I can't breathe.

Talk.

I was gonna talk...
about my great aunt.

Talk then.

Well, um--

You have a really
nice apartment.

Which apartment
did she live in?

Uh, uh, is this trash?

Yeah.

I'm gonna, uh-- I'm gonna
throw it away, okay?

Okay.

You wanna know something
my great aunt said tonight?

What?

She said, um,

"Knowledge is when you learn
something new every day.

Wisdom is when you let
something go every day."

Emerson said that.

You know that quote?
Yeah.

She didn't come up with
that one on the spot
tonight. Sorry.

Well, anyway,
she knew the quote.

I knew your aunt.
I'd see her at
the mailbox downstairs.

She always said
hello to me.

Um--

It's okay to watch erotica.

And I say that
as a lifelong Catholic.

Catholics are pervs.
Not me.

Well, you're not a priest.

You're right.
I am not a priest.

No one really gets fucked
in the films you rent.

There's no penetration.

And I also understand
the allure of the
old battered V.H.S.'s.

They're like antiques.
I don't wanna
talk about it.

Yeah. Okay,
neither do I.

I think you just call it...

that place between
your collarbones.

Is it the sternum?

Yeah, maybe.

Anyway,

I gotta go to bed.

I'm really sorry
about your aunt.

Um,

could I maybe sleep
on your couch tonight?

Um--

Hey, why are you late?

You know it's Simon's
day off?

I have never
been late before.

I know. I thought
you were dead.

Sorry.
I am so sorry.

Your "mamoosh" called.

Oh, fuck! That's right.
It's Wednesday!
Yeah.

Oh!
She had a bit...

of an emotional outburst
when you missed
your phone date.

You've never been
late before.

She started screaming
at me in Polish.

I had to smoke this
to relax.

I'm sorry, man.

That'll be her.
Every 10 minutes for
a solid two hours.

She's scaring Derek.

She's messed up, Simon.
You don't
know that, dude.

No, I know. She is.
You think so?

She just doesn't love me.
And me having this whole wealth
of love for her doesn't help.

I've been thinking
about the great writers
lately.

How many of them
were really in love--
in love for decades?

None of 'em.
Shut up, Derek.

How many were in love
with just some girl they
were fucking at the time...

who didn't even
love them back...

in this lonely,
torturous existence?

An empty fucking cave.

Have you found
her clit, Simon?

What?
You know where
her clit is, right?

I think so.
So you don't know.

Yeah, I know.
So, where is it?

It's-- It's--
It's where everything--
Where?

It's where all the stuff--
It's the thing that looks
like the flux capacitor.

Oh, my God!

Stop looking at me
like that, Eric.
I thought you knew, man.

This accounts for 90%
of your problems with
this chick. I swear.

You don't know what
it is, do you?

It's an anatomical part
of the female... vagina.

Shut the fuck up, Derek.
Do you know what it is?

The clitoris?
Yes, I do.

I am religious
about the clitoris.

Did you get the tape?

Yeah, I got it.

You're liking them,
right?

Shut up.

They're terrible,
but-- but that's part
of it for you, right?

Where's your cross?

Checking out my neck, huh?

I know you're not Catholic.
Yeah, sorry.

No, no, no, no, no.
It still counts.
I'd like you to wear it.

It's better safety
than a meat cleaver.
Butcher knife.

Well, this will keep you safer
than any butcher knife could.

Safe from you?

I guess. If you feel like
you need protection, so--

Whoa!
Before you put it on--
What?

I have to wash your hair.

You can't wear a cross
with dirty hair.

Oh, I hate this.

It's almost done.
The water's getting
in my eyes.

It is not.
I am being careful,
and you know it.

Okay.

Okay, done.
You're done.

Okay, here.

Here. Sit right--

Lemme just--

Polish people
wash each other?
Yeah.

I've never heard
of that before.

Well, how many Polish people
do you know?

None.

- You know me.
- Not really.

This will keep you safe.

You said that already.
Let me put it on.

No, I have to put it on.
Fine.

But don't brush my hair
anymore. I don't like it.

"I don't like it."

Uh, do you--
do you wanna watch
one of your movies?

We could watch one
together.

You have to go,
or I'll get upset.
Don't upset me.

Okay. I'm going.

We'll do it another time.

I care about you.

Wake up, buddy.
Hi. Excuse me.

What?

Roll your window down,
please.

Uh, yeah?

Uh, you can't be sleeping
in the parking lot.

Um, yeah.

My-- My wife kicked me out
for the night, but, uh--

Yeah, I'm sorry.
Um, it's a one-time thing.
It won't happen again.

I know. We saw you
for the past six
nights or so, so--

Yeah, I know. Um--

My wife kicked me out a long
time ago, but I'm about to get
back into her good graces.

But you're right. I shouldn't
be sleeping in the parking lot.
It's crazy.

'Cause see, if we catch
you again, we're gonna
have to call the cops.

And my boss wanted
to call the cops
this morning,

but I wanted
to come down here
and warn you first.

Thank you.
Thanks a lot.
I'm assistant manager.

Oh, yeah. Cool.

All right, um--
All right, I'm leaving now.

Watch your fingers.

Bye.

She doesn't want to see me.

I'm so sorry, man.

I don't ever wanna talk
about this again. So, um--

It's weird that
that girl stopped coming in.

Which girl?
That weird one.

- Yeah. How long's it been?
- I'd say about a week.

She used to come in
every day.
Yeah, in the late afternoon.

Yeah, it's been ever
since lover boy here
scared her away.

I told you
she's weird, man.

She's probably sitting
in a garbage can somewhere...

still embarrassed that
you tried to talk to her.

- Isn't it your day off?
- Yeah. What are you, a loser?

I was getting some groceries
in the neighborhood, Simon.

- You live in Echo Park.
- Yeah, I still need groceries.

All the grocery stores in
this neighborhood are Pan Asian.

Fuck off, you guys, okay?

Maybe I wanted
to make stir fry.

Plus, there's like 10
grocery stores within a mile
of your house, dude.

I like the breeze
on this side of town.
The ocean breeze.

It... clears my head.

Yeah. Just admit it, dude.

What?

You have no life.

Oh. Is this because of
that bitch whose clit
you could never find?

Derek!

You're an imbecile.

I'm never talking
to you again.

Dude.
He bothers me, man,
a lot.

Have a heart.
They just broke up.

I don't care.
He really bothers me.

I'll sit behind you like this
so you don't see me.
Uh-huh.

Okay? And I won't
make a sound.
Not a word.

I promise.
Do you have a cell phone?

No.

**

I can't do anything while
you're here, so it kind
of ruins it for me.

It's kind boring if you
aren't getting off, isn't it?
Shut up!

You said you
wouldn't talk.
You talked to me.

I can do that.
I can talk to you.
You can't talk to me.

Plus, I just thought
of one more rule.

If you get a boner,

you're out.

**

Well--

Hey, hold down the fort, okay?
Eric and I are going next door.
Okay.

And, uh, Simon's in the back.
Don't tell him where we went.
He'll miss me too much.

Which movie?

Okay. Cool.
Is it from the '70s?

Well, tell me
which decade!

I doubt it. Why would I
like it? You don't think
I'm gonna like it that much?

**

I hate this.
I hate this shit.
I hate all of this bullshit.

I can't believe you thought
I'd be into this.

My God. I am so bored.

How big is this guy's dick
would you say?

It's hard to tell.

Not bigger than me.

What?
About--

Your penis is not even
half of that, I bet.

Excuse me.
How would you know?

I've seen it
bulging out your pants,
and it's not that.

So, been checking
out my bulge.

Don't call it "a bulge."

When was this?

I don't even remember.
I just remember thinking that
there's probably not much to it.

Mmm. You must have me confused
with someone else.

Look, I don't care.
The size, I don't care.

It's just really pitiful
if you lie about it.

Okay. That guy is, what?
What would you say?

I'd say I don't care.
No, let's make a bet.

If I am bigger than that guy,
then I get to sleep
in your bed tonight.

No.
Come on.
It's a fair bet.

If I am bigger
than that guy, I win.

It's so late!
No touching.
No touching?

No, touching, I swear.
I can't sleep out here again.
It gets so cold. Desert cold.

What do I get if I win?
What do you want
if you win?

I want you
to not talk at all
when you come over here.

Just make the food,
we'll watch the movie...

and you don't speak.

I can do that.

Okay, well, proportionally,
let's say he's... eight?

Eight and a half?
Sure.

Let's say eight and a half.
Let's just say he's eight.

You have to be bigger
than him to win, remember?

Okay. Uh, well,
how do you want
to measure me?

I'll have to be erect
to make it fair.
Fuck that!

I do!
He's fucking erect!
Fine.

You measure yourself though.
I'm not fucking touching you.

Fine.

Okay, um--

Are you gonna put a sock
over it or something?

Over my cock?
Don't fucking say "cock"!

Over my dick?
You're such a pig.

Over my... pee-pee?

This is why
you shouldn't talk.

Okay, okay, so confirming,

if my, um, penis...

is bigger than 8 1/2 inches,
I get to sleep
in your bed tonight?

Use one of your socks
to cover it. I don't want
to see it.

Well-Well, how will
you be sure how big it is
if you don't see it?

I'll observe from over here.

Okay.

Um--

I just have
to concentrate.

Okay.

I mean it. I will call
the police if you rape me.

I'm not going
to rape you, man!
I'm here every night.

Don't you think
I would have tried by now?
Just don't do anything.

Okay!

It is cold in your house
in the middle of the night.

It gets pretty cold.

I'm not trying anything.

Can I just... put
my back up against yours?

Okay.

This is called
plecki do plecki.

My Polish grandmother,
Babcia,

used to, uh, make us
sleep like this in pairs
when we were kids.

She did it as a kid too.
It was the only way they
kept warm during the winter.

Plecki do plecki.
And they lived in a hut.

And she didn't
get her period
until she was 17...

because she was
so malnourished.

Plecy are your back.

All your back's muscles
are one thing.

But Plecy is plural.

That's nice.

I love this.

Was your great aunt
Polish too?

Um, yeah.

It feels like
we're connected.

I started my period.

Let's go out.

I don't like L.A.

What? You live here.
I don't go out to places,
I mean.

You're touching me again.

I know.

On the first day
of their period,
girls are sick.

So even if I was a normal girl,
I still couldn't go anywhere
with you today.

You are normal.

Uh--
Hey, do you want
some tea?

Yeah.
Honey?

I don't have any.
I brought some for ya.

Honey is better
than sugar.

Honey's better
than sugar?

I bought it for you.

Fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck!
I'm fucking!

I'm fucking! I'm fucking!
I'm fucking!

I'm gonna come!
I'm gonna come!

I'm gonna come!
Oh! Fuck!

Fuck! Fuck!

What do you think?

I think
you're funny.

You thought
that was funny?
Yeah.

Can I do it
to you now?

Great.

Eh-- Ah, whatever
you want. Yep. Uh, the same
fish I made last week?

The trout
or the halibut?

Okay, I'll see you
after I'm done here.

- Uh, bye.
- Thanks for calling.

Who's that?
A customer.

"See you
after I'm done"?

It's a movie.

Really?
Yeah.

It's, uh, Scottish--

the movie.

I got some sleep
for the first time
in a long time...

having you in my bed
last night.

That's good.
Get off!

Night, you guys.
Auf Wieder--

What?
Auf Wiedersehen.

I'll see you guys
tomorrow.
Not if I see you first.

Not talkin' to you.
All right.
Good-bye, Simon.

Come on, guys.

I should probably head--
Sit.

Want one?

No, Eric.
Okay.

Why do you always ask me?
It gets annoying.

Don't know. Polite.

One day you
might want one.
I don't smoke.

Okay.

I went past
your place yesterday.

Huh?

Yeah. Went past where
your apartment building
should've been,

and right there was
a huge pile of rubble.

It's demolished, man.
Wire fence, cement mixers--
Oh, I moved.

Where to?

Another apartment.
When?

A few months ago.
A few months ago?
Why didn't you say anything?

I didn't think
it was a big deal.

- Are you living
in your car again?
- No!

So you haven't spent
one night in that car.

- Dude--
- Goddamn it, dude! I knew it
the minute I drove by!

Listen to me!
I have a place to go!

Great. Awesome.
Let's see this place.
Should I drag you?

No, no, no!

What the fuck, man?
What's goin' on?

Are you using again?

I have a place--
a-a nice place.

I can't explain it
to you right now.
Just trust me.

Trust me, man!
I know! I do!

It's funny?

No, no.
It's not
fuckin' funny, man!

You made me feel like a moron
for caring what happens to you.
Don't feel like a moron!

Fuck you, man.
Fuck you! Let's go
see this place right now.

Come on!
No, no. You can't see it.
I-- It's--

What, is it a place
only you can see? What?
No! It's messy.

It's messy?

Yeah, it's a mess.

I talk to you
about everything,

and I'm always--
always honest with you.
Eric--

No. You don't wanna talk to me?
I don't wanna talk to you. Over.
Go sleep on the beach, man.

Get fucked in the ass by MS-13
guys all night long, 'cause
I don't care anymore, man.

Done!
Eric!

I'm going home.

I haven't masturbated
in a long time.

I'm getting
really sick of you.

Annie Sprinkle?
Yeah. Um--

She does really great...
pro-women stuff apparently.

Eric gave this to me. I should
have watched it a long time ago.

What's it called?
Um, Zen Pussy.

There's, uh,
11 different girls.

No penises,
so you'll like it.

Ugh.

It's just extreme close-ups
of vaginas?

Fast forward.
See if there's
anything else on here.

Oh, fucking--
Turn it off!

Should I?
Yeah! Fuck!

Okay, I thought, uh--

That was-- Jesus, fuck!
That was so fucked up
I'm about to cry.

That was just,
like, gynecological.
Oof!

"Eleven vulvas."

I-- I really think
you'll like it.

So what's the deal?
Is it porn?

Uhh-- I don't want
to spoil it.

Just-Just take it home.
You'll love it.

Okay.
I trust your judgment.

So, what's, um--
what's the deal
with you and Eric?

He's not talkin' to me.
Yeah.

Why?

Uh, you should
just ask him.

You're not really
that easy to talk to.
You should know that.

It's playing next door,
I think.

At The Nuart.
Yeah, yeah.

I was thinking
since she liked
Kieslowski so much...

and I know you wouldn't
want to go see the film
alone, and--

I mean,
if we all went with you,

it might be a little bit
better for you, man.

Maybe make you feel--
Derek, are you saying
you want to--

you want to see
a Kieslowski film with me?

- That's so romantic!
- Is there a midnight movie?

Maybe. Hey!
We should all go.
What the hell?

Yeah.
Hmm.
Let's go check it out.

Yeah, let's go
check right now.
Uh, you guys need anything?

Hey, hang on. I'll go
get some smokes with ya.

What, are you scared
to be alone with me?

Huh!

Uh, hey, it's me.

Um-- Listen,
at midnight they're
playin' a Kieslowski film,

and I-I just wanted to see
if you wanted to come.

So it's gonna be really good,
so, um, come meet
all the dudes.

All right. Uh, hopefully
I'll see you there.
It's at midnight. Bye.

- Where's dinner?
- Huh?

I thought you were gonna bring
pizza tonight. Mmm. Mushrooms.

I don't wanna eat pizza
in the middle of the night.

Well, I do.
Well, you should
get on that!

Why didn't you answer
the phone when I called?

- I was sleeping.
- Liar!

I called you
a trillion different times.
I left you messages.

I know you heard them.

What's your problem?
Why don't you want
to meet my friends?

I don't have family here.
They're like my family.

You're so whiny and clingy...

and needy and annoying.

What if I died
and you had ignored my calls?

I'm not having
this conversation.

Well, you're never
having any conversation.
You never talk to anyone.

You ignore my calls.
You ignore your father's calls.

I'm glad it's across the board,
not just with me. You ignore
the guy who delivers your water.

I want you to meet
Eric and the dudes, okay?
I wanna meet your dad.

Who the fuck
do you think you are?

I don't give a shit
about you.

When are you gonna
figure that out?

I am your boyfriend.

What kind of
fucked-up boyfriend/girlfriend
situation would this be?

We don't have sex.
I don't even like you.

What happened to you?
What?

Were you raped?

No.

Were you raped?

Were you assaulted?
Has anyone ever hurt you
like that?

No.

I love you.

Just meet my friends!
They are the nicest guys!

You should find a girl
who can do that with you.

A girl you can fuck
like a punching bag
whenever you want.

What?

It's a great solution
to our problem.

What is our problem?

You're disruptive.
What do you mean?

You're disrupting
my whole life.
All I am is good for you.

- What life?
- What do you do? What?

You don't do anything!
You're right.

Maybe I should start
writing my memoir.
I'm helping you!

Why are you always
so pissed off all the time?
Just come out with my friends.

I can't.

It's simple.
You just come.
No! I can't!

I don't know, man.
Is it like a yoga thing?

Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
No, just take it home.
You'll like it.

It's a great title.

So I, uh,
just talked to Eric,

and he won't talk
about what's going on.

This shit happens
with friends.

Mmm, no,
not with them.

Something's really wrong.
What do you
think happened?

I don't know, man.
Must be huge though.

This is unprecedented
behavior for them.

- Shit.
- I know.

That's clit, by the way.

You're a little kid.
You work in a video store.

You don't have money for rent.
You don't have money for gas.
It's pathetic.

Me having no money?
Yes.

You're a piece-of-shit excuse
for a person.

Well, I think it's pathetic
to piss away every day
not doing a thing...

except watching girls
who are underpaid
and exploited...

rub up
against each other.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I jerk off too.
Live with it.

I would love
to live with it.
That's my point.

Shut up!

Listen. It is really
fucking hard, okay?

And I'm doing better than most.
You don't have to be
so heartless all the time!

You're a scrounger.
I have a job!

So-- I have a job at least.
What the fuck do you do?
You have a shit job.

You have money!

You could be studying
anywhere on the planet
right now, but no!

Hanging art on your wall
that Daddy got you
as a present isn't a job!

You have a shit job, and people
do hang art for a living.
They're called curators.

I know what
a fucking curator is.

There is no reason for
you not to be with me!
You're searching.

It takes time.
We can do it gently.

We can go slowly.
You can guide me.
However you want.

Remember I talked to you
about the vaginal dilator?

You're sexually deformed.
You want to live here?

Yes!
I want to be with you!

What, do you want me
to buy you a mink coat
and some diamonds?

You're not staying here
and fucking me. I won't let you!
Give me a fucking break!

I don't need your money!
Well, we both know
that's not true.

Nothing you can say
can hurt my feelings.

What's the point of me
saying anything to you then?
I love you. This fight is over.

I think you should take
the vaginal dilator, and I think
you should use it in your butt.

Get your dork friends to help.
Get out!

I'm staying here tonight
in your bed,

I am touching you,
and we are going to try it.

End of discussion.

What are you doing?
Who are you calling?

Give me the fucking phone.
This is not domestic violence!
This is not a police matter!

You're clogging up the line
for people who are really
in trouble. Selfish as usual.

Selfish!

You can't go to sleep.
It's 4:30 in the afternoon!
I'm sleeping here.

Okay.

Rape! Rape! Help!
Shut up!

Rape! Help! Rape! Rape!
Shut up! I'm not
raping you! You wish!

Rape!
You wish I-- Shut up!

Okay.

Get me my book.

Where is it?

In the bedroom
on the dresser.

Why don't you
come get it?
Give it to me.

Just this, please, now.

Sure thing, Charlie.

The place looks good.

- Are you boys in love?
- Sorry, Charlie?

Love. Amour. Dancing.

Huh? Are you in love?

There's no use
wasting away alone.

And you need it.
Fall in love.

Sure.

Fall in love quick--
with a girl or a boy.

Hmm. Find someone.

Thank you. We will.
Huh?

That's great advice, sir.
Thank you.

You know what today is?

It's your anniversary!

Yeah. She loved this film.

Don't-- Don't forget
your tape there.
Oh. Oh, yes, yes, yes.

I mean it, boys.

Make it snappy.

You're getting old.

See ya.

Ah, thank you.
Thank you, Charlie.

I'll see you later.
See you next time.

You bet.
Take care.

**

**

So, anyway,
I think as a general rule,

if you committed yourself...

to watching sexual film
of a higher quality--

um, meaning
psychologically sexual--

uh, European, thoughtful--

I'm never gonna have sex
with you. I'm frigid.
Are you a virgin?

No, I'm not.

Bless you.
You're not frigid.

How would you know?
Good sex isn't dumb or cheap
like the sex in porn.

Thank you.
I'm not a dumb-ass.

Okay, well, the stuff
I'm going to bring over...

will actually
make you want...

to think about
having real sex--
loving sex.

I've had a lot of sex.
I know what I'm doing.

Yeah,
I'll bet you do.

You know, you're--

you're so ugly.

Well, I know you
find me attractive.

Not at all. Why don't you
sleep in your great aunt's
old apartment tonight?

Her old apartment freaks me out.
I know you find me attractive.

If I wanted to have sex,
I would go find someone sexy--
not like you.

Okay, so you don't
think I'm sexy?
I don't like your face.

Well, it's not your face
I like the most either.

You're disgusting to me.
The thought of your penis--

Shh!
is even more disgusting.

When have you ever seen
a dick that looked nice
or smelled nice?

You should feel ashamed.
Limp or erect, it's sick.

Well, you said dick.
You never say dick.

You're an asshole.
I think my dick
looks really nice.

That's because
you're an idiot.

You like this?
Is this what you want?

I'll take what
I can get.

You'll take whatever
I give you, huh?

I'll take whatever
you give me.

I'll take it.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck!

I hate you!
Wait.

I couldn't help it.
Get out, you fucking--

No--

No, it just happened. All right?
I wasn't gonna do anything
with it. You're beautiful!

It's biology!
Sicko fucking pervert!

It's biology!
I can't believe
I let you in my bed!

I wasn't gonna do anything!
The sounds you were making
were sexy.

Oh! Sexy!
I wasn't gonna do anything!
I wasn't gonna do anything!

Now it can happen anytime!
You said you wouldn't!
You said you wouldn't!

No-- It's gone now!
It's gone now!
It's gone now! It's gone now!

No, no.
I just mean, it's gone,
so you can stop stressing!

I'm stressed!
I can't trust you now, you fuck!

Pervert!

Stop. Stop.
I don't want to do this.

I can go back to just
kissing the right thigh.
No, just stop. Get up.

I can kiss your thighs all day.
We can--
No. Get up!

That was great.
Step by step.

That was just what
I was talking about.
I want you to leave.

Huh?
I'm never
seeing you again.

It's over.

Wait, what are you talking
about? This was good.
This was progress.

Leave or I'll scream.

But--
Leave! Leave!

No. No.
Leave! Leave!

Leave! Leave!
Don't do this.
Don't do this!

Leave! Leave! Leave!
It's okay,
it's okay!

Leave! Leave!
Leave! Leave!
Please, we can figure this--

Leave! Leave!
Leave! Leave!
Leave! Leave!

Leave. Leave.
Oh, no, no, no.
It's okay.

Leave! Leave!

Okay, I'm going.
I'm going. Okay.
Leave! Leave!

Mm-hmm.

Just this then?

Yeah, just-just that.
Mmm!

Oh, thank you.
Mm-hmm.

Thank you.
Have a good night.
Hmm!

You too.

Hello.
Hello.

Hey, baby,
how are you?
Hey.

Nice.

I'm sorry to bother you.
I know you're busy.

No, you don't bother me.
I wish you stopped
up here more often.

I just wanted
to talk to you,
because--

Uh, I have a job--
I mean, I have a job.
I got a job.

So--
You got a job?

Yeah!
Oh, my God!
That's so cute!

Yeah, I got a job, um,

and I wanted you to know,
because I know you
bought the apartment.

But I'm moving out,
renting a smaller place,

uh, 'cause I'd--
I'd like to live in
a different place, uh--

Right.
'cause I have a job now.

Right, right.
So I have a job.

What is your job?

Oh, you want it to be
a surprise. Are you
working in a restaurant?

No, you'd probably be
a terrible waitress!

Is it a--
Is it a strip club?

Because, uh, you have to start
workin' out a little more
if that's what it is.

I don't want to tell you
what it is or where it is.

It's just my job.

So, you decided to become
financially independent
at 24?

I guess you owe me about
three million dollars...

if you consider all the therapy
and the clothes--

Listen, your apartment's
paid for. It's yours.

Uh, I called Bob
and told him to--

Well, he closed
my account.

And, uh--

here are the keys...
to the-- to my-- to the car.

You've grown accustomed
to a certain lifestyle.

And if you want to rough it
for a while with this... job,

then I understand that,
okay?

But you need to keep
your accounts open.

I don't want your
money anymore, Dad.

I don't need it.

Hey, sit down and shut up.
I want you to li--
Sit your ass down.

Sit down!
You're being stupid.

I'm gonna talk to you
like an adult for a change.

Have you even considered
health insurance?

If you want to move into
a different apartment, fine.

You know, I'll have Jared
find some places. You just
tell me the neighborhood.

I'll find you the best places--
I don't need to find a place.
I have a new place.

Where is it?

If you try to find me,
I'll call the cops.

Sweetheart,

the cops don't give a shit
what you have to say.

They don't care
about what happened.

And don't ever,

ever fucking
threaten me again.

Do you understand?

I'll call the press.
I'll call your clients.

I can go to
Bob's office anytime...

and sign whatever
you need me to sign.

He has my e-mail address.

I don't love you.

Oh, my--

**

* When there's
so much to lose *

* There's no method
to choose *

* Which way is the best *

* When you second-guess *

* It feels like
you're nowhere *

* At all *

* Then when you're
finally through *

* They'll come lookin'
for you *

* I know all
that we should do *

* Let's go to your room *

* We'll tell them
we're nappin' *

* And see what happens *

* Because the day's
almost done *

* And you got nothin' *

* To prove to no one *

* So stop your fussin' *

* And take off your dress *

* And try to get some rest *

* While I clean up the mess *

* Now that everyone's gone *

* Now that we're all alone *

* Let's go back to your room *

* And let's resume *

* What we were makin' *

* For a game *

* Because the day's
almost done *

* And you got nothin' *

* To prove to no one *

* So stop your fussin' *

* And take off your dress *

* And try to get some rest *

* While I clean up the mess *

* 'Cause there is no end *

* To this, my friend *

* So try and ignore *

* What we got in store *

* And try to ignore *

* The mess on the floor *

* It'll be there *

* Later *

* I swear *

* Because the day's
almost done *

* And you got nothin' *

* To prove to no one *

* So stop your fussin' *

* And take off your dress *

* And try to get some rest *

* While I clean up *

* The mess **