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1
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:35,698
[ Bzzzzz ]
2
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:39,199
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
3
00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:55,821
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
4
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,475
* On the edge
of outer space *
5
00:02:26,514 --> 00:02:27,954
* Space, space, space
6
00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,521
* She's the one
with a serious face *
7
00:02:30,551 --> 00:02:34,191
* Face, face, face
face, face *
8
00:02:34,222 --> 00:02:35,592
* When I dropped in,
checked it out *
9
00:02:35,623 --> 00:02:37,793
* Alien girls
were all about *
10
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,485
* Eons since
I had a date *
11
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:43,658
* Another light-year's
too long to wait *
12
00:02:43,697 --> 00:02:45,327
* Earth girls are easy
13
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:47,366
* Earth girls, so easy
14
00:02:47,401 --> 00:02:50,241
* Earth girls
15
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,412
* Hey, those girls
are loads of fun *
16
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:58,484
* Fun, fun, fun, fun
17
00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,552
* Even hotter
than the sun *
18
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,381
* Sun, sun, sun
19
00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:05,887
* You know that I've had
lots of girls *
20
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,219
* Most of them
from other worlds *
21
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:10,316
* While trippin' through
the galaxy *
22
00:03:10,358 --> 00:03:13,328
* The valley girls
are the ones for me *
23
00:03:13,361 --> 00:03:15,531
* Earth girls are easy
24
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:17,633
* Earth girls, so easy
25
00:03:17,665 --> 00:03:20,295
* Earth girls
26
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:49,799
* Earth girls
27
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:53,395
* Girls
28
00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,838
* You know that I've had
lots of girls *
29
00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:58,910
* Most of them
from other worlds *
30
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,009
* Eons since
I had a date *
31
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,551
* Another light-year's
too long to wait *
32
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:06,348
* Earth girls are easy
33
00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,350
* Earth girls, so easy
34
00:04:08,382 --> 00:04:11,252
* Earth girls
35
00:04:12,753 --> 00:04:15,063
* Earth girls are easy
36
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,288
* Earth girls, so easy
37
00:04:17,325 --> 00:04:19,355
* Earth girls
38
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,393
* Earth girls
39
00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:21,828
* So easy
40
00:04:21,862 --> 00:04:23,402
* So easy, so easy
41
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,831
* Earth girls
42
00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,266
* Earth girls *
43
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,500
[ Door Opens ]
44
00:04:58,532 --> 00:05:00,402
Valerie.
45
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,104
[ Hiss ]
46
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,935
I'm home.
47
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:08,111
You're not supposed to
see me in this
before the wedding.
48
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:09,711
It's bad luck.
49
00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:11,713
Don't worry about it.
50
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:13,445
I mean, sweetheart,
51
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:17,751
it's just some stupid
superstition anyway.
52
00:05:17,785 --> 00:05:18,985
Yeah, you're right.
53
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:21,589
We met
on Friday the 13th
54
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,432
and look
how happy we are.
55
00:05:24,458 --> 00:05:26,688
Ted, what happened?
You said 11:00.
56
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,697
Sorry, Val. It was
blood and guts night
57
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:32,700
at the old
emergency room.
58
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:33,933
Again?
59
00:05:35,836 --> 00:05:37,706
I wish
you'd called me.
60
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,838
I would have but,
you know,
61
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:43,113
five minutes
on the phone could, uh,
62
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:44,453
cost a life.
63
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,078
Oh.
64
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:49,078
I'm ready, Teddy.
65
00:05:51,485 --> 00:05:54,555
Oh, what a day.
66
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:58,429
Oh, boy.
67
00:06:02,496 --> 00:06:04,896
I was fluffing it
for you.
68
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,479
Could you get
the light, please?
69
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,415
Teddy...
70
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:31,787
look what I found.
71
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,425
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry.
72
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:36,201
I have to take out
a gall bladder
73
00:06:36,229 --> 00:06:38,429
first thing
in the morning.
74
00:06:38,466 --> 00:06:40,196
Tomorrow night.
I promise.
75
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:44,203
I won't be here.
I'll be at the nail expo.
76
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,437
The cuticle convention,
remember?
77
00:06:46,474 --> 00:06:48,214
I'll be gone
till Monday.
78
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,481
Well, Monday, then.
I promise.
79
00:06:53,814 --> 00:06:56,784
I was reading an ad
for these pyramids
80
00:06:56,817 --> 00:06:58,787
you put over the bed.
81
00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:01,219
They're supposed to
increase sexual energy.
82
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:03,194
Valerie, please.
83
00:07:03,223 --> 00:07:06,163
Good night,
sweetheart.
84
00:07:06,193 --> 00:07:07,863
'Night.
85
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,768
K-Earth 101
southland weather--
86
00:07:16,804 --> 00:07:18,774
Another gorgeous day
in L.A.
87
00:07:18,806 --> 00:07:21,636
Sunny and warm.
86 degrees in Malibu.
88
00:07:21,675 --> 00:07:24,645
94 in the valley.
88 in Hollywood.
89
00:07:24,678 --> 00:07:26,978
That's K-Earth 101 news.
I'm Claudia Marshall.
90
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:31,985
* It's the summer of love,
love, love *
91
00:07:32,019 --> 00:07:35,059
* I'm in love
with love, love, love *
92
00:07:35,088 --> 00:07:39,588
* For everyone
transcends who *
93
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:42,257
* I'm thinking of you
94
00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:44,125
* Boy
95
00:07:44,164 --> 00:07:46,004
* Love energy
96
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:48,743
* Is giving us a shove
97
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:54,069
* Making this
the summer of love **
98
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:55,637
Hi, Miss Lana.
99
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:57,076
I'm so sorry.
100
00:07:57,110 --> 00:07:59,080
I missed
our appointment.
101
00:07:59,112 --> 00:08:01,052
You look so great.
102
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:03,051
That's
a great outfit.
103
00:08:03,083 --> 00:08:06,153
Thanks, dear.
That door is a real bitch.
104
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:07,616
Hi, Val.
105
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:09,015
Good morning.
106
00:08:09,056 --> 00:08:11,986
It's a really
good color for me.
107
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,585
Wow.
108
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:16,597
You need a fill.
109
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:18,000
Uh, morning, all.
110
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:19,601
Good morning.
111
00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:23,643
You better have a note
from your mother, young lady.
112
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,011
* He's showing off
his body... **
113
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,609
I don't know.
114
00:08:27,641 --> 00:08:30,611
I'm just not that
turned on by her lately.
115
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,614
I hear
oysters are good
for potency.
116
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,617
I tried that,
117
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,119
but they
kept slipping off.
118
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,650
If I was any more potent,
I'd kill somebody.
119
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:42,018
Whoa!
Oh, right!
120
00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,625
I gave this cute
little nurse
121
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:47,058
a ride home
the other night.
122
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:48,904
And?
And?
123
00:08:48,929 --> 00:08:51,769
And nothing.
I'm getting married
next month.
124
00:08:51,799 --> 00:08:53,999
And why are you
so tardy?
125
00:08:54,034 --> 00:08:57,614
I was up real late
last night with Ted.
126
00:08:57,638 --> 00:09:00,008
Dr. Dolittle
finally came through, huh?
127
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,610
No. He was
dead on arrival.
128
00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:05,353
Again? Sanka?
Sure.
129
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:08,348
At the rate we've
been having sex,
130
00:09:08,381 --> 00:09:11,351
we might as well
be married already.
131
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:13,594
It's been,
like, a week?
132
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,791
Two weeks.
133
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:19,933
Valerie, Ted's obviously
a victim of PMS.
134
00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:22,930
What?
Premarital stress.
135
00:09:22,963 --> 00:09:25,603
Oh. What'll
snap him out of it?
136
00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:26,973
A new woman.
137
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,600
Thanks.
138
00:09:28,636 --> 00:09:29,996
Wait. That's it!
139
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:33,107
We'll make you
a new woman.
140
00:09:33,140 --> 00:09:35,280
This is great.
Watch this.
141
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,108
Let's see how you look
on the makeover machine.
142
00:09:38,145 --> 00:09:39,345
Oh, housewife from hell.
143
00:09:41,181 --> 00:09:43,251
Matron on drugs.
144
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,023
Look at that.
145
00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,892
That's it.
We'll make you blonde
146
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,021
with blue eyes.
147
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:52,126
Maybe
when I get back
from the expo--
148
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,359
Skip the expo.
Stay home
and ambush Ted.
149
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,995
What if
he doesn't like it?
150
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:02,301
At this point,
what have you got to lose?
151
00:10:02,335 --> 00:10:04,665
Come on. We're
doing a makeover.
152
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,805
Ooh! Ooh!
153
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,181
Oh! Oh!
Oh! Oh! Oh!
Come on!
154
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,650
A perm.
155
00:10:11,679 --> 00:10:12,749
A perm.
156
00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:14,920
A butch.
157
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,748
A facial.
158
00:10:16,784 --> 00:10:18,854
A body wrap.
159
00:10:18,886 --> 00:10:19,886
Gravel scrub.
160
00:10:19,920 --> 00:10:21,890
A gravel scrub.
161
00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:23,792
Bikini wax.
162
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,394
We'll do it all.
163
00:10:25,425 --> 00:10:26,955
All right!
164
00:10:37,337 --> 00:10:40,667
* It's time to face the music,
it's time to make you see *
165
00:10:40,708 --> 00:10:44,908
* The root of all your problems
is that you don't look like me *
166
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:49,175
* Now this is gonna hurt you,
but I just got to say *
167
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:53,916
* Your love life's going nowhere
'cause you look like Doris Day *
168
00:10:53,954 --> 00:10:55,194
* Who's the one
they can't resist? *
169
00:10:55,222 --> 00:10:57,832
* The brand new girl
170
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,758
* Who's on
the most wanted list? *
171
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,163
* The brand new girl
172
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,034
* Honey,
if you vixenize *
173
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:06,034
* Guaranteed
he'll get a rise *
174
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,166
* Believe me, you can be
a brand new *
175
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,401
* Brand new
176
00:11:09,436 --> 00:11:11,066
* Brand new
177
00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:12,444
* Brand new
178
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,912
* Brand new
179
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:14,781
* Brand new girl
180
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:16,738
Ow!
181
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,707
Rrrroww!
182
00:11:22,783 --> 00:11:25,453
Aah!
183
00:11:25,485 --> 00:11:27,185
* You're cute
and fresh and wholesome *
184
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:29,220
* But science has a cure
185
00:11:29,256 --> 00:11:31,786
* The natural look
is nowhere *
186
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,455
* Your hairdresser
knows for sure *
187
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:35,363
* You got to learn
the art of teasing *
188
00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:37,825
* Change your repertoire
189
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:40,025
* All you need's
a little faith *
190
00:11:40,067 --> 00:11:42,097
* And a see-through
pushup bra *
191
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,139
* If you want to be
a femme fatale *
192
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,335
* You can't rest
on your L'oreals *
193
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,047
* You know, I think
she might be right *
194
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,409
* Grab the bleach,
she's seen the light *
195
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,177
Ow!
Ow!
196
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:57,786
* Maybelline
197
00:11:57,818 --> 00:11:58,748
Ooh.
198
00:11:58,786 --> 00:11:59,816
* Revlon
199
00:11:59,853 --> 00:12:00,793
Aah.
200
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,461
* Rubbermaid
201
00:12:02,489 --> 00:12:04,759
* Talk to me,
Max Factor *
202
00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,392
* Who's the one
they can't resist? *
203
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:08,356
* The brand new girl
204
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:10,295
* Who's on
the most wanted list? *
205
00:12:10,330 --> 00:12:12,430
* The brand new girl
206
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,765
* Honey,
if you vixenize *
207
00:12:14,802 --> 00:12:16,302
* Guaranteed
he'll get a rise *
208
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,306
* Believe me, you can be
a brand new *
209
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,309
* Brand new
210
00:12:21,341 --> 00:12:22,111
* Brand new
211
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,182
* Brand new
212
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,181
* Brand
213
00:12:26,213 --> 00:12:28,253
* New
214
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:32,951
* Girl
215
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,146
* Girl *
216
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:39,893
[ Stereo Playing
Theme From Love Story ]
217
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,927
Hello, Dr. Gallagher.
218
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,903
Surprised?
219
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:49,302
Yes, it's me.
220
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,306
Oh! Tsk. Tsk.
Dr. Gallagher.
221
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:55,409
Why are you
looking at me like that?
222
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:59,314
You want to do what?
223
00:12:59,346 --> 00:13:02,876
Oh, no, no.
I couldn't.
224
00:13:02,916 --> 00:13:04,276
No.
225
00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,217
No, please. Stop.
226
00:13:06,253 --> 00:13:07,823
No, no.
227
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,855
Well...
228
00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:11,490
all right.
229
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:15,261
OK.
230
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:17,825
Let's see.
231
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:22,095
Now, champagne,
flowers,
232
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,095
sushi, feathers,
233
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:26,867
um, sensual oil,
234
00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,237
right,
235
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,875
and incense or...
let's see.
236
00:13:31,912 --> 00:13:34,852
"Sprinkle a light bulb
with your favorite perfume
237
00:13:34,882 --> 00:13:38,392
to sensualize the atmosphere
of your love trap."
238
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,989
[ Record Skips ]
239
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,227
[ Ssss! ]
240
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:52,168
[ Pop! ]
241
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,499
Oh, no!
242
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,369
[ Car Door Closes ]
243
00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,574
Oh, God. He's here.
244
00:14:15,255 --> 00:14:18,225
Well, this is
where we live.
245
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,628
We?
246
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,629
Yeah. Uh, you know,
247
00:14:21,661 --> 00:14:26,071
me and, uh,
the cat-- Bambi.
248
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:31,472
Just make yourself
at home,
249
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,174
all right?
250
00:14:42,049 --> 00:14:44,049
[ Rrrr ]
251
00:14:44,084 --> 00:14:45,324
[ Hiss ]
252
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:57,264
"How to Drive a Man Crazy."
253
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,135
[ Toilet Flushes ]
254
00:15:06,573 --> 00:15:07,573
Aah!
255
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,407
Eat me,
I'm a cookie!
256
00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,481
I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
257
00:15:13,513 --> 00:15:16,123
I didn't know
Ted had company.
258
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:17,519
I'm Valerie.
259
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:20,120
I don't usually
dress like this.
260
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,393
Here comes Dr. Love.
261
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,534
All right, Robin,
a pileup.
262
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:29,700
Who's your friend?
263
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:32,099
Shit! Val.
264
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,102
Ted, what
are you doing?
265
00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:36,074
Uh, gee, nothing.
266
00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:38,443
Wh-What is
going on here?
267
00:15:38,471 --> 00:15:40,371
You brought her home
to have sex?
268
00:15:40,407 --> 00:15:42,437
You weren't
supposed to be here.
269
00:15:42,475 --> 00:15:45,405
You were going to
have sex without me?
270
00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,975
Of course not.
271
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:50,354
I don't know
what you two had in mind,
272
00:15:50,383 --> 00:15:52,993
but I'm not
into kinky scenes.
273
00:15:53,020 --> 00:15:54,390
Bye.
274
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:55,761
You look incredible.
275
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:59,088
Honey, she doesn't
mean a thing to me.
276
00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:01,656
If meaningless sex
is what you want,
277
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,504
why can't you
have it with me!
278
00:16:03,530 --> 00:16:06,000
I made
a stupid mistake.
279
00:16:06,033 --> 00:16:09,143
I wanted a last fling,
that's all.
280
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,769
You can't expect me
to be more evolved.
281
00:16:11,804 --> 00:16:14,574
Evolved? I'll show
you evolved.
282
00:16:14,607 --> 00:16:18,007
Wait a minute.
No. Now, don't do that.
283
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,445
That's very dangerous.
284
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,409
Cut it--Val, stop it!
285
00:16:21,448 --> 00:16:22,748
Cut it out!
286
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:26,552
Val, come on!
287
00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,556
The neighbors
are watching!
288
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:31,490
Val, open up.
289
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:34,164
Sweetheart,
open the door!
290
00:16:34,194 --> 00:16:36,434
You're wanted
in emergency,
Dr. Love.
291
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:40,033
You can't do this to me!
I'm a doctor!
292
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:45,711
Here! Take these
with you, Dr. Love.
293
00:16:47,274 --> 00:16:49,314
And don't come back!
294
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:54,111
[ Muttering ]
295
00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:57,283
[ Car Starts ]
296
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,417
Ted!
297
00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,523
[ Tires Squeal ]
298
00:17:01,554 --> 00:17:03,524
Ted!
299
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:06,256
Ted,
where are you going?
300
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:15,400
Go to bed, Mrs. Merkin!
301
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,265
[ Reverberating ]
Mrs. Merkin!
Mrs. Merkin!
302
00:17:19,272 --> 00:17:21,472
[ Meow ]
303
00:17:21,508 --> 00:17:25,378
* You're a liar,
and it took me forever *
304
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,152
* To figure that out
305
00:17:31,218 --> 00:17:33,088
* You could
switch on a smile *
306
00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:36,190
* Pretend to be tender
307
00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,863
* But I know now
what you're all about *
308
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,132
* What a nightmare
309
00:17:42,162 --> 00:17:46,772
* My friends thought
you were a dream *
310
00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:52,608
* You could
switch on a smile *
311
00:17:52,639 --> 00:17:55,209
* And seem so sincere
312
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,712
* But you don't even know
what that means *
313
00:17:58,745 --> 00:18:03,115
* I don't think
you'll ever understand *
314
00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:08,220
* Ooh, did cheating on me
make you feel like a man? *
315
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:12,855
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
316
00:18:12,892 --> 00:18:16,662
* I did anything
you wanted me to *
317
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:21,766
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
318
00:18:21,801 --> 00:18:27,411
* Now I've lost my faith
in you *
319
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,110
[ Glass Shatters ]
320
00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,714
* Aah
321
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:38,148
* Sunday mornings
I'd wake up *
322
00:18:38,185 --> 00:18:42,685
* Lie in bed
watching you sleep *
323
00:18:44,524 --> 00:18:47,394
* It was almost religious
324
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,927
* How I believed in you
325
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:54,302
* It hurt when you
destroyed my belief *
326
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:58,514
* I don't think
you'll ever understand *
327
00:18:58,538 --> 00:19:03,478
* Ooh, did cheatin' on me
make you feel like a man? *
328
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:07,350
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
329
00:19:07,380 --> 00:19:11,620
* I did anything
you wanted me to *
330
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:17,421
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
331
00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:21,627
* Now I've lost my faith
in you *
332
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:25,631
* Oh, I've lost
my faith in you *
333
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:41,546
* I used to worship
the ground you walk on *
334
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:45,891
* Didn't think
I'd get by without you *
335
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:50,888
* Now I don't worship
the ground you walk on *
336
00:19:50,923 --> 00:19:55,703
* And I'm stronger
than I knew *
337
00:19:55,728 --> 00:20:00,498
* I'm stronger
than you knew **
338
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,514
Come here, you.
339
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:11,742
No, Doctor.
What about your wife?
340
00:20:11,778 --> 00:20:14,678
She's in a coma.
You're not.
341
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:17,624
No. Oh.
342
00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:20,790
Mmm. Oh.
343
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,960
John?
John?
344
00:20:22,989 --> 00:20:26,429
Uh! Oh.
345
00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:28,359
You weasel dick!
346
00:20:28,395 --> 00:20:31,495
[ Telephone Rings ]
347
00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:34,371
Hello.
Oh, Candy,
348
00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,371
the worst thing
in the world happened.
349
00:20:37,404 --> 00:20:39,774
No, Bambi's fine.
350
00:20:39,806 --> 00:20:41,366
It's Ted.
351
00:20:41,408 --> 00:20:44,378
Yeah. The blonde thing
did not work.
352
00:20:44,411 --> 00:20:47,911
It's the show that shows
the ins and outs
353
00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,877
of the southern California
fitness craze.
354
00:20:50,917 --> 00:20:53,987
Let's face it.
Inner beauty is for losers.
355
00:20:54,954 --> 00:20:58,594
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
356
00:21:31,991 --> 00:21:34,891
Ooh.
357
00:22:22,875 --> 00:22:23,975
Ha ha ha ha ha!
358
00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,010
[ Bonk ]
359
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,075
Uh!
360
00:22:44,096 --> 00:22:46,026
Whoa!
361
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,602
Mac!
362
00:22:57,444 --> 00:23:00,484
Whoa!
Whoa!
363
00:23:44,624 --> 00:23:46,094
Aah!
364
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,700
Oh, great.
365
00:23:58,037 --> 00:24:00,007
Oh, this is too good.
366
00:24:00,039 --> 00:24:03,879
There's a giant blow dryer
in my pool.
367
00:24:12,519 --> 00:24:14,949
Oh, shit!
368
00:24:14,987 --> 00:24:18,627
Ted, you're not going to
control my mind
369
00:24:18,658 --> 00:24:20,628
when you're not here.
370
00:24:20,660 --> 00:24:23,660
OK, just release
all of this negative energy
371
00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:25,666
out into the universe.
372
00:24:25,698 --> 00:24:28,768
You're just going to
swim right through it.
373
00:24:39,011 --> 00:24:41,651
[ Thud ]
374
00:24:41,681 --> 00:24:44,751
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
375
00:25:26,058 --> 00:25:27,828
[ Pop ]
376
00:25:32,064 --> 00:25:34,604
Oh, Teddy bear,
377
00:25:34,634 --> 00:25:36,274
you're back.
378
00:25:40,039 --> 00:25:42,239
Aah!
379
00:25:42,274 --> 00:25:44,614
Aah!
Aah!
380
00:25:44,644 --> 00:25:46,184
Aah!
Aah!
Aah!
381
00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,012
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
382
00:25:48,047 --> 00:25:52,617
What is this?
What's going on?
383
00:25:52,652 --> 00:25:54,852
This isn't
what it looks like, is it?
384
00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:56,987
Is it?
Zis zit?
385
00:25:57,023 --> 00:25:59,633
Oh, my God, it is.
386
00:25:59,659 --> 00:26:01,029
It's a spaceship.
387
00:26:01,060 --> 00:26:03,630
Oh, like things
weren't bad enough,
388
00:26:03,663 --> 00:26:06,373
now I've been abducted
by a UFO.
389
00:26:06,398 --> 00:26:09,998
You're just going to
do some experiments on me
390
00:26:10,036 --> 00:26:13,766
and let me go like in
the National Enquire Right?
391
00:26:13,806 --> 00:26:16,676
Right?
Right?
Right?
392
00:26:19,211 --> 00:26:20,951
OK. OK.
393
00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:24,720
Just don't take out
anything I'll need later.
394
00:26:29,321 --> 00:26:31,921
Get it over with
and let me go.
395
00:26:35,928 --> 00:26:38,158
I don't why
you abducted me anyway.
396
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,697
I'm sure you're looking for
somebody more important
397
00:26:40,733 --> 00:26:43,243
like Nancy Reagan.
398
00:26:43,269 --> 00:26:46,009
I'll tell you
where to find her
399
00:26:46,038 --> 00:26:48,368
because
I'm just a manicurist.
400
00:26:48,407 --> 00:26:51,737
I don't know about anything
except nails.
401
00:26:51,778 --> 00:26:52,908
You know, nails.
402
00:26:52,945 --> 00:26:54,945
Nails.
Nails.
Nails.
403
00:26:59,218 --> 00:27:01,218
Really. I could
keep my mouth shut.
404
00:27:01,253 --> 00:27:04,423
You could tell me anything.
I'd never tell.
405
00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:06,426
Ask my cousin.
406
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:08,658
She got her boobs done,
and I never told anyone.
407
00:27:10,329 --> 00:27:12,029
Except I just told you.
408
00:27:16,102 --> 00:27:19,212
Oh, my God.
You're aliens.
409
00:27:19,238 --> 00:27:22,838
Ooh!
Ooh!
410
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:24,935
Ooh!
411
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,307
Zeebo.
412
00:27:26,345 --> 00:27:30,645
Is that your name--
Zeebo?
413
00:27:31,483 --> 00:27:34,323
Wiploc.
414
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:36,963
Wiploc. Hi.
415
00:27:36,989 --> 00:27:38,889
Makelsolakveder.
416
00:27:38,925 --> 00:27:42,185
Maybe I'll just
call you Mac.
How's that?
417
00:27:42,228 --> 00:27:44,198
Oh, and I'm Valerie.
418
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:46,900
Valerie.
Walerie.Volare.
419
00:27:46,933 --> 00:27:50,343
You guys aren't
going to hurt me, are you?
420
00:27:53,139 --> 00:27:55,409
Your planet is weird.
421
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:57,381
We're still
in my pool.
422
00:27:57,409 --> 00:28:00,379
Oh.
Oh!
Oh!
423
00:28:00,412 --> 00:28:03,252
Listen, it was really nice
meeting you, fellas,
424
00:28:03,282 --> 00:28:05,382
but I have to go.
425
00:28:05,417 --> 00:28:07,817
Feel free
to use the pool,
426
00:28:07,854 --> 00:28:10,794
but you've caught me
at a bad time.
427
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:11,963
[ Shouting ]
428
00:28:11,991 --> 00:28:13,491
Aah!
429
00:28:13,525 --> 00:28:15,925
Aah! Aah!
430
00:28:15,962 --> 00:28:18,332
[ Alarm Sounds ]
431
00:28:25,337 --> 00:28:26,907
[ Alarm Stops ]
432
00:28:26,939 --> 00:28:29,909
Did I do that?
I flooded the ship.
433
00:28:29,942 --> 00:28:32,182
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm so embarrassed.
434
00:28:32,211 --> 00:28:33,811
I'm really sorry,
435
00:28:33,846 --> 00:28:36,946
but I'm sure you can
fix it, right?
436
00:28:39,385 --> 00:28:40,915
Don't freak out.
437
00:28:40,953 --> 00:28:43,363
This is
just like the time
438
00:28:43,389 --> 00:28:46,329
I dropped my lady schick
in the toilet.
439
00:28:46,358 --> 00:28:49,458
After it dried out,
it worked fine.
440
00:28:55,467 --> 00:28:58,937
Let's go in my house.
I'll make some lunch,
441
00:28:58,971 --> 00:29:01,371
and I'll get
the pool drained.
442
00:29:01,407 --> 00:29:05,277
Then you guys can take off
back to your planet.
443
00:29:05,311 --> 00:29:06,881
Blast off. Pow.
444
00:29:06,913 --> 00:29:10,823
Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
¿Comprende?
445
00:29:10,850 --> 00:29:12,120
¿Comprende?
446
00:29:12,151 --> 00:29:14,321
¿Comprende?
447
00:29:14,353 --> 00:29:16,493
Comprende.
448
00:29:28,434 --> 00:29:31,944
Be careful. This ladder's
a little loose.
449
00:29:31,971 --> 00:29:34,571
Oh, I'm glad
you can breathe OK.
450
00:29:34,606 --> 00:29:37,476
The air quality
is actually
very good today.
451
00:29:37,509 --> 00:29:39,949
[ Coughing ]
452
00:29:39,979 --> 00:29:41,849
Careful.
453
00:29:41,881 --> 00:29:43,551
It's kind of wet.
454
00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:49,920
OK?
455
00:29:49,956 --> 00:29:53,286
Well, uh, come on.
Let's go in the house.
456
00:29:53,325 --> 00:29:55,085
This way.
457
00:29:58,931 --> 00:30:00,301
Those are lemons.
458
00:30:00,332 --> 00:30:03,002
You know,
lemonade, lemon Pledge.
459
00:30:03,035 --> 00:30:06,365
Oh. It's OK.
It's a sprinkler.
460
00:30:06,405 --> 00:30:10,435
Earth people are going to
freak out if they see you.
461
00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:12,076
No offense,
462
00:30:12,111 --> 00:30:14,911
but you do look like
wookies or werewolves.
463
00:30:14,947 --> 00:30:17,347
People will want to
shoot you,
464
00:30:17,383 --> 00:30:19,423
so just be cool, OK?
465
00:30:21,087 --> 00:30:24,857
Let's go inside.
Come on. Come on.
466
00:30:25,925 --> 00:30:29,895
What's going on
in my horoscope today?
467
00:30:33,332 --> 00:30:35,572
Well, this is
my house.
468
00:30:35,601 --> 00:30:38,171
Um...sorry about
the mess.
469
00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:40,144
Make yourselves at home.
470
00:30:46,412 --> 00:30:47,882
[ Cuckoo ]
471
00:30:47,914 --> 00:30:48,954
[ Cuckoo ]
472
00:30:48,981 --> 00:30:50,351
[ Cuckoo ]
473
00:30:50,382 --> 00:30:52,182
Hi. This is
Valerie Gale.
474
00:30:52,218 --> 00:30:55,188
Could you send Woody
to drain my pool?
475
00:30:55,221 --> 00:30:58,191
Yeah. Right away.
It's an emergency. I--
476
00:30:58,224 --> 00:31:00,164
[ Meow ]
477
00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:03,403
[ Rrreow ]
478
00:31:08,034 --> 00:31:09,374
[ Purr Purr ]
479
00:31:11,537 --> 00:31:15,437
Wow! I've never see her
do tha before!
480
00:31:15,474 --> 00:31:18,914
What is that,
some kind of
love touch?
481
00:31:18,945 --> 00:31:22,605
[ Speaking
Alien Language ]
482
00:31:22,648 --> 00:31:24,278
Oh! Hi. Yeah.
483
00:31:24,316 --> 00:31:27,586
Listen. This is a matter
of life and death.
484
00:31:27,619 --> 00:31:30,519
I lost my contact lens
in the pool--
485
00:31:30,556 --> 00:31:33,426
No. Send Woody.
He found it last time.
486
00:31:33,459 --> 00:31:34,489
Hey!
487
00:31:34,526 --> 00:31:36,396
Those are Ted's fish!
488
00:31:36,428 --> 00:31:37,528
Thanks.
489
00:31:37,563 --> 00:31:39,533
No. No. No. No.
490
00:31:39,565 --> 00:31:41,125
Not food!
491
00:31:41,167 --> 00:31:43,337
Not food!
492
00:31:44,736 --> 00:31:47,706
Let's see.
Oh, not much here,
493
00:31:47,739 --> 00:31:50,979
but I didn't expect
I'd have aliens for lunch.
494
00:31:51,010 --> 00:31:52,410
Oh, look.
495
00:31:52,444 --> 00:31:54,414
Low-cal Pop Tarts.
496
00:31:54,446 --> 00:31:56,146
These are natural.
497
00:31:56,182 --> 00:31:57,982
Great.
498
00:31:59,751 --> 00:32:02,451
[ Speaking
Alien Language ]
499
00:32:02,488 --> 00:32:03,558
OK.
500
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:06,429
We have an entree.
What else?
501
00:32:09,561 --> 00:32:11,631
Uh...instant pudding!
502
00:32:11,663 --> 00:32:14,503
Add water, hmm...
too much work.
503
00:32:14,533 --> 00:32:16,503
Oh, spray-on cheese!
504
00:32:16,535 --> 00:32:18,095
This is great.
505
00:32:18,137 --> 00:32:20,607
You have eggs
on your planet?
506
00:32:22,141 --> 00:32:24,611
I could cook those
for you.
507
00:32:26,145 --> 00:32:27,505
Uh...
508
00:32:27,546 --> 00:32:29,116
[ Pop ]
509
00:32:29,148 --> 00:32:31,478
[ Thud ]
510
00:32:31,517 --> 00:32:32,517
[ Plop ]
511
00:32:35,187 --> 00:32:37,187
This is wonderful.
512
00:32:46,632 --> 00:32:49,342
[ Crunch Crunch
Crunch ]
513
00:32:51,270 --> 00:32:52,700
[ Crunch Crunch
Crunch ]
514
00:32:52,738 --> 00:32:54,108
[ Meow Meow ]
515
00:32:54,140 --> 00:32:55,740
[ Meow ]
516
00:33:00,546 --> 00:33:03,246
Oh, Wiploc!
No! No! Not there!
517
00:33:03,282 --> 00:33:05,552
No. Come with me.
518
00:33:15,194 --> 00:33:18,104
OK. So you go
in there...
519
00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:22,301
No! No!
Come here. No.
520
00:33:22,334 --> 00:33:25,044
You... go in there...
521
00:33:25,071 --> 00:33:27,311
Go in there...
522
00:33:27,339 --> 00:33:30,039
Yeah...
and then you flush.
523
00:33:30,076 --> 00:33:32,676
[ Whoosh ]
524
00:33:34,513 --> 00:33:38,023
[ Whoosh ]
525
00:33:58,237 --> 00:33:59,437
[ Scratch ]
526
00:34:01,207 --> 00:34:03,177
Oh, my God!
Woody's here!
527
00:34:03,209 --> 00:34:05,639
Whatever you do,
just stay inside.
528
00:34:48,587 --> 00:34:50,557
[ Horse Neighs ]
529
00:34:53,459 --> 00:34:55,189
Aah!
530
00:34:55,227 --> 00:34:57,157
[ Neigh ]
531
00:34:57,196 --> 00:34:59,866
[ Singing In Spanish ]
532
00:35:04,303 --> 00:35:05,303
[ Click Click ]
533
00:35:05,337 --> 00:35:07,407
You are Americans.
534
00:35:07,439 --> 00:35:09,509
You're the product
of the freest--
535
00:35:09,541 --> 00:35:11,381
[ Eee! Eee! ]
536
00:35:11,410 --> 00:35:12,540
[ Click Click ]
537
00:35:12,578 --> 00:35:15,508
You're tearing me apart!
538
00:35:15,547 --> 00:35:18,777
You say one thing,
he says another--
539
00:35:18,817 --> 00:35:20,717
A new car!
540
00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:22,722
A new car!
Aah!
541
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:24,794
* Take
a mind excursion *
542
00:35:24,823 --> 00:35:26,793
* It's just... *
543
00:35:26,825 --> 00:35:29,495
Hey! How's it going?
544
00:35:29,528 --> 00:35:31,498
Hey, Woody.
545
00:35:31,530 --> 00:35:32,860
What's that?
546
00:35:32,898 --> 00:35:34,828
Some kind of giant
boogie board?
547
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:37,766
No. It's my new
pool patio.
Bitchin', huh?
548
00:35:37,803 --> 00:35:39,343
Pretty rad.
549
00:35:39,371 --> 00:35:40,271
[ Meow ]
550
00:35:40,306 --> 00:35:41,266
Whoa!
551
00:35:41,307 --> 00:35:43,737
Shoot the curl, kitty!
552
00:35:43,775 --> 00:35:45,835
Those little guys
love the water.
553
00:35:47,779 --> 00:35:51,649
Listen, Valerie,
how come you want
your pool drained?
554
00:35:51,683 --> 00:35:52,783
How come?
555
00:35:52,818 --> 00:35:54,388
I don't know.
556
00:35:54,420 --> 00:35:57,790
You know, the water
just seems really stale.
557
00:35:57,823 --> 00:35:59,963
We've seen
a lot of that.
558
00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,791
How long
will this take?
559
00:36:01,827 --> 00:36:04,457
Uh...about...a day.
560
00:36:06,332 --> 00:36:08,302
Whoa! Check out
the sets.
561
00:36:08,334 --> 00:36:12,704
If I was six inches tall,
I'd be out there now.
562
00:36:12,738 --> 00:36:15,708
They were pumping
like that this morning--
563
00:36:15,741 --> 00:36:17,711
I don't believe this.
564
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,353
No, for real.
565
00:36:19,378 --> 00:36:22,578
I was getting barreled
in this totally cool tube.
566
00:36:22,614 --> 00:36:25,454
I had just Sex Waxed
my board.
567
00:36:25,484 --> 00:36:28,624
Someone shoots his board,
hits me in the head.
568
00:36:28,654 --> 00:36:30,594
This is the worst.
569
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:33,732
Would have been
the ride of the decade.
570
00:36:33,759 --> 00:36:36,759
What am I supposed to
do until tomorrow?
571
00:36:36,795 --> 00:36:39,625
Waste your brain.
Wax your board.
572
00:36:39,665 --> 00:36:42,225
Pray for waves.
573
00:36:42,268 --> 00:36:47,268
[ Whistling
Andy Griffith Theme ]
574
00:36:47,306 --> 00:36:49,536
[ Speaking Japanese ]
575
00:36:49,575 --> 00:36:51,805
[ Speaking Japanese ]
576
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:53,513
Try this.
577
00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,475
* What'll it be? Hmm *
578
00:36:55,514 --> 00:36:57,024
* What'll it be?
579
00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:58,478
* Hmm *
580
00:36:58,517 --> 00:37:01,387
Make me an Alaskan
polar bear heater
581
00:37:01,420 --> 00:37:02,750
on the double.
582
00:37:02,788 --> 00:37:04,758
We'll make
our own music, gorgeous.
583
00:37:04,790 --> 00:37:06,530
You and you stay.
584
00:37:06,558 --> 00:37:09,428
Tubby, rest your thumbs.
I'll drive.
585
00:37:09,461 --> 00:37:12,001
Now watch, baby.
Every move a picture.
586
00:37:13,599 --> 00:37:16,399
[ Telephone Rings ]
587
00:37:18,704 --> 00:37:20,044
[ Click ]
588
00:37:20,071 --> 00:37:23,281
[ Ted's Voice ]
Is there a doctor
in the house? Not now.
589
00:37:23,309 --> 00:37:25,979
Leave a message
when you hear the beep.
590
00:37:26,011 --> 00:37:27,451
[ Beep ]
591
00:37:27,479 --> 00:37:29,279
Valerie?
Are you there?
592
00:37:29,315 --> 00:37:30,645
Please pick up.
593
00:37:30,682 --> 00:37:32,822
I need to talk to you.
594
00:37:32,851 --> 00:37:35,391
Sorry I was
such an asshole.
595
00:37:35,421 --> 00:37:37,761
Val, you've got to
believe this.
596
00:37:37,789 --> 00:37:40,759
I've never ever
been unfaithful to you. Ever.
597
00:37:40,792 --> 00:37:42,292
I'm only guilty
598
00:37:42,328 --> 00:37:44,998
of a little kissy-face
with one nurse.
599
00:37:45,030 --> 00:37:46,570
You stopped me
600
00:37:46,598 --> 00:37:49,438
from making a big mistake
last night.
601
00:37:49,468 --> 00:37:52,798
Val, I'm so sorry.
Please forgive me.
602
00:37:52,838 --> 00:37:55,968
I'll see you
when I get home. Bye.
603
00:38:00,078 --> 00:38:02,408
Come back to Finland.
604
00:38:02,448 --> 00:38:05,918
Come back to winter
all year round.
605
00:38:05,951 --> 00:38:09,621
Come back
to parkas and goat's cheese.
606
00:38:09,655 --> 00:38:12,315
Finland knows
what you want.
607
00:38:12,358 --> 00:38:15,758
Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
608
00:38:15,794 --> 00:38:18,564
Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
609
00:38:18,597 --> 00:38:19,827
hee-hoo!
610
00:38:19,865 --> 00:38:20,795
[ Click ]
611
00:38:20,832 --> 00:38:22,402
Television!
612
00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:24,044
[ Speaking
Alien Language ]
613
00:38:26,705 --> 00:38:28,735
OK. Well,
we're all set.
614
00:38:28,774 --> 00:38:30,844
Finland is here?
615
00:38:30,876 --> 00:38:33,106
Finland? No.
This is the valley.
616
00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:35,654
Finland is the capital
of Norway.
617
00:38:35,681 --> 00:38:36,951
You learn fast.
618
00:38:36,982 --> 00:38:39,552
Sorry I was
such an asshole.
619
00:38:39,585 --> 00:38:42,545
Oh! I see you found
a cable station.
620
00:38:42,588 --> 00:38:43,958
[ Imitating Ted ]
Valerie?
621
00:38:43,989 --> 00:38:46,119
Are you there?
Please pick up.
622
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:47,627
Did Ted call?
623
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:50,629
I'll be over
right after work tonight.
624
00:38:50,662 --> 00:38:52,032
OK, honey? Bye.
625
00:38:52,063 --> 00:38:53,873
Oh, my God!
626
00:38:53,899 --> 00:38:55,969
Ted is, like,
a trained doctor.
627
00:38:56,001 --> 00:38:57,941
One look at you guys
628
00:38:57,969 --> 00:39:00,539
and he'll know
you're not local.
629
00:39:00,572 --> 00:39:04,482
If I only had
a zillion gallons of Nair.
630
00:39:04,510 --> 00:39:06,380
Nair.Nair.
Nair.
631
00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:11,477
* I'm a sex pixy
632
00:39:11,517 --> 00:39:12,877
* Is that OK?
633
00:39:12,918 --> 00:39:15,918
* Do do do do do
634
00:39:15,954 --> 00:39:19,464
* Do do do
do do do do do *
635
00:39:19,491 --> 00:39:23,661
* Hey, hey,
do do do do *
636
00:39:23,695 --> 00:39:25,695
* Do do do do
637
00:39:25,731 --> 00:39:27,631
* Da-do, oh, oh *
638
00:39:27,666 --> 00:39:30,666
Candy, whatever you do,
don't freak out.
639
00:39:30,702 --> 00:39:31,442
Valerie!
640
00:39:31,470 --> 00:39:34,640
Promise me
you will not freak out.
641
00:39:34,673 --> 00:39:37,043
Stop! You are
freaking me out!
642
00:39:37,075 --> 00:39:39,645
Um...a UFO landed
in my pool,
643
00:39:39,678 --> 00:39:41,648
and they captured me,
644
00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,980
but we made friends,
and I fed them Pop Tarts.
645
00:39:44,015 --> 00:39:46,785
You've got to
cut their hair.
646
00:39:46,818 --> 00:39:48,618
What did you say?
647
00:39:48,654 --> 00:39:52,694
Oh, nothing.
I'm on drugs.
Candy, help them.
648
00:39:52,724 --> 00:39:55,064
Would you listen
to yourself?
649
00:39:55,093 --> 00:39:57,063
Valerie,
no man is worth
650
00:39:57,095 --> 00:39:59,695
getting yourself
in this state over.
651
00:39:59,731 --> 00:40:02,071
Mel Gibson, maybe,
but not Ted!
652
00:40:02,100 --> 00:40:03,670
Valerie, come here.
653
00:40:03,702 --> 00:40:05,702
Just sit down, honey.
654
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:07,107
Relax.
655
00:40:07,138 --> 00:40:09,108
Have a mental Margarita.
656
00:40:09,140 --> 00:40:11,910
Now I'm going to
show you something
657
00:40:11,943 --> 00:40:14,183
that's going to
change your life.
658
00:40:14,212 --> 00:40:16,952
In that case,
let me get a cigarette.
659
00:40:20,919 --> 00:40:24,189
You got little
alien house guests...
660
00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:25,562
let's see them.
661
00:40:27,626 --> 00:40:29,086
[ Coughing ]
662
00:40:29,127 --> 00:40:30,657
Shit, Valerie!
663
00:40:30,696 --> 00:40:32,056
Those are aliens!
664
00:40:32,097 --> 00:40:33,967
I told you.
665
00:40:33,999 --> 00:40:36,229
Oh, God! Oh, shit!
666
00:40:36,267 --> 00:40:37,667
Valerie! Valerie!
667
00:40:37,703 --> 00:40:38,673
Those are--
668
00:40:38,704 --> 00:40:40,914
Those are big...
aliens!
669
00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,809
What do they want
from us?
670
00:40:42,841 --> 00:40:45,211
What do you want
from us?
671
00:40:45,243 --> 00:40:48,213
Did they take control
of your brain?
672
00:40:48,246 --> 00:40:49,976
Oh...I don't
think so.
673
00:40:50,015 --> 00:40:51,515
Can they talk?
674
00:40:51,550 --> 00:40:52,780
* What'll it be?
Hmm **
675
00:40:52,818 --> 00:40:54,788
I ate all
the Frusen Gladje.
676
00:40:54,820 --> 00:40:56,960
Panty shields
make me feel fresh.
677
00:40:56,988 --> 00:40:59,058
Are they straight?
678
00:40:59,090 --> 00:41:01,660
I don't know.
They're aliens!
679
00:41:01,693 --> 00:41:03,063
This is Mac,
680
00:41:03,094 --> 00:41:04,664
and this is,
uh...Zeebo,
681
00:41:04,696 --> 00:41:05,996
and this is
Wiploc.
682
00:41:06,031 --> 00:41:08,201
[ Coughing ]
683
00:41:08,233 --> 00:41:10,503
Well, they're
just darling.
684
00:41:10,536 --> 00:41:12,496
Get them
out of here.
685
00:41:12,538 --> 00:41:15,268
They can't leave
until the pool is drained.
686
00:41:15,306 --> 00:41:17,736
If Ted finds out
they're aliens,
687
00:41:17,776 --> 00:41:20,046
he'll want to
dissect them.
688
00:41:20,078 --> 00:41:22,608
We could make them
look more...human.
689
00:41:22,648 --> 00:41:25,778
I thought you never
wanted to see Ted again.
690
00:41:25,817 --> 00:41:28,747
I don't. I just want
to talk to him.
691
00:41:28,787 --> 00:41:30,887
Valerie,
this is insane.
692
00:41:30,922 --> 00:41:33,832
They're, like,
throwing up on my stuff!
693
00:41:33,859 --> 00:41:35,489
Come on, Candy.
694
00:41:38,329 --> 00:41:41,729
Well, I see split ends
are universal.
695
00:41:43,635 --> 00:41:46,605
Lost in space
with no conditioner, huh?
696
00:41:46,638 --> 00:41:50,008
I think they've
been up there
a long time.
697
00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:53,041
Well, it's all dead.
It's got to come off.
698
00:41:53,078 --> 00:41:55,008
Can you do it?
699
00:41:55,046 --> 00:41:57,616
Does Tina Turner
wear a wig?
700
00:41:57,649 --> 00:41:59,019
That's a wig?
701
00:41:59,050 --> 00:42:01,620
That's a wig.
Great!
702
00:42:01,653 --> 00:42:03,023
I'll get clothes!
703
00:42:03,054 --> 00:42:05,664
If I find one flea,
the deal's off!
704
00:42:07,659 --> 00:42:09,729
OK, Val,
are you ready?
705
00:42:09,761 --> 00:42:11,631
I think
they're almost done.
706
00:42:11,663 --> 00:42:15,103
I gave the red one
the blond-surfer look.
707
00:42:17,302 --> 00:42:19,672
Wow!
708
00:42:19,705 --> 00:42:21,565
Which one
is that?
709
00:42:21,607 --> 00:42:22,837
Wiploc.
710
00:42:22,874 --> 00:42:25,084
We are human now!
711
00:42:25,110 --> 00:42:27,850
I don't believe it!
He's even cute!
712
00:42:27,879 --> 00:42:29,979
I know!
Bitchin', huh?
713
00:42:30,015 --> 00:42:32,815
Val, you won't
believe this.
714
00:42:32,851 --> 00:42:34,921
OK...
715
00:42:36,722 --> 00:42:38,092
Surprise!
716
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:43,160
Is that Zeebo?
717
00:42:43,194 --> 00:42:47,004
[ Imitating Candy ]
Oh, my God!
You're, like, totally black!
718
00:42:49,801 --> 00:42:50,801
OK...
719
00:42:50,836 --> 00:42:53,196
and...behind
door number three...
720
00:42:53,238 --> 00:42:56,908
this is
the ultimate!
721
00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:06,823
Wow!
722
00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:10,917
You're incredible.
723
00:43:15,026 --> 00:43:18,356
Well, it was easy.
I started on poodles.
724
00:43:18,396 --> 00:43:20,626
Good?
725
00:43:20,666 --> 00:43:22,796
Real good.
726
00:43:26,171 --> 00:43:27,741
OK. OK.
727
00:43:27,773 --> 00:43:29,743
Group picture. Come on.
728
00:43:29,775 --> 00:43:31,835
Come on.
Get down there.
729
00:43:33,812 --> 00:43:35,182
All right...
730
00:43:35,213 --> 00:43:38,083
now say,
Velveeta Slices.
731
00:43:38,116 --> 00:43:40,646
Sl--Vegakld.
Vel--salksi.
732
00:43:42,220 --> 00:43:45,190
OK, you guys,
what's the plan for tonight?
733
00:43:45,223 --> 00:43:47,263
Whoa! Candy,
reality check.
734
00:43:47,292 --> 00:43:49,862
We can't go out.
They're aliens!
735
00:43:49,895 --> 00:43:52,295
So? They can still
be dates!
736
00:43:52,330 --> 00:43:55,400
Do you guys have Margaritas
on your planet?
737
00:43:55,433 --> 00:43:58,343
It's not safe.
I'll take you home.
738
00:43:58,369 --> 00:44:01,409
Don't get your panties
in a bunch.
739
00:44:01,439 --> 00:44:04,409
We're with major cute guys.
It's Saturday night!
740
00:44:04,442 --> 00:44:06,212
Come on!
741
00:44:11,116 --> 00:44:15,046
You guys are so lucky
you crashed in the valley.
742
00:44:15,086 --> 00:44:17,216
It's the baddest place
on earth.
743
00:44:25,864 --> 00:44:27,674
Candy, sit down!
744
00:44:28,734 --> 00:44:30,774
Hi, sweets.
745
00:44:30,802 --> 00:44:34,872
I think we'd like to keep
a low profile, Candy.
746
00:44:34,906 --> 00:44:37,206
Guys, what you
doing later?
747
00:44:40,846 --> 00:44:43,976
I never would have believed
that this could happen.
748
00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:46,785
That you'd be cruising
with shaved Martians?
749
00:44:46,818 --> 00:44:50,018
No. That Ted would
do this to me.
750
00:44:50,055 --> 00:44:53,115
Give men enough rope,
they'll dig their own grave.
751
00:44:53,158 --> 00:44:54,288
So true.
752
00:44:54,325 --> 00:44:57,255
He said he wanted
one last fling.
753
00:44:57,295 --> 00:44:59,865
Maybe that's normal,
I don't know.
754
00:44:59,898 --> 00:45:02,828
I'm sure
we'll be happy
once we're married,
755
00:45:02,868 --> 00:45:05,298
but I can't pretend
this didn't happen.
756
00:45:05,336 --> 00:45:08,166
Valerie, you work hard
to make Ted happy.
757
00:45:08,206 --> 00:45:10,236
Who is making you happy?
758
00:45:17,482 --> 00:45:19,182
Woo!
Woo!
759
00:45:19,217 --> 00:45:20,447
Finland babes!
760
00:45:20,485 --> 00:45:24,085
Yodel-aydi, yodel-aydi,
yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
761
00:45:24,122 --> 00:45:27,062
Didn't you go to
Van Nuys High?
762
00:45:27,092 --> 00:45:28,932
Van Nuys High?
763
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,500
Aren't you
Terry Harper's brother?
764
00:45:30,528 --> 00:45:32,328
Terry Harper's
brother?
765
00:45:32,363 --> 00:45:33,833
Ha ha ha!
766
00:45:33,865 --> 00:45:35,925
Someone should
hose those girls down!
767
00:45:35,967 --> 00:45:37,367
Want to party?
768
00:45:37,402 --> 00:45:38,872
Want to party?
769
00:45:38,904 --> 00:45:40,244
Come on!
770
00:45:46,511 --> 00:45:47,481
Wiploc!
771
00:45:51,082 --> 00:45:53,152
Look! There they are!
772
00:45:57,088 --> 00:45:58,458
OK. Don't worry.
773
00:45:58,489 --> 00:46:00,459
I'll go get him.
774
00:46:00,491 --> 00:46:02,461
Me, too.
Me, too, too.
775
00:46:02,493 --> 00:46:03,463
Wait--
776
00:46:03,494 --> 00:46:05,904
It'll only take
a minute.
777
00:46:09,968 --> 00:46:12,998
Come on, you guys,
what are you doing?
778
00:46:13,038 --> 00:46:18,508
[ Tarzan Yell ]
779
00:46:20,011 --> 00:46:22,811
* When I need something
to help me unwind *
780
00:46:22,848 --> 00:46:26,548
* I find a six-foot baby
with a one-track mind *
781
00:46:26,584 --> 00:46:30,394
* Smart guys are nowhere,
they make demands *
782
00:46:30,421 --> 00:46:33,421
* Give me a moron
with talented hands... *
783
00:46:33,458 --> 00:46:35,858
Where did you buy those?
784
00:46:35,894 --> 00:46:37,134
They're my dad's.
785
00:46:37,162 --> 00:46:38,862
Those are fabulous.
786
00:46:38,897 --> 00:46:40,527
I know.
787
00:46:40,565 --> 00:46:42,265
* ...In love
till we're done *
788
00:46:42,300 --> 00:46:44,540
* Then they're
out in the hall *
789
00:46:44,569 --> 00:46:46,439
* I like 'em big and
790
00:46:46,471 --> 00:46:48,071
* Stupid
791
00:46:48,106 --> 00:46:50,336
* I like 'em big and
792
00:46:50,375 --> 00:46:51,305
* Real dumb
793
00:46:51,342 --> 00:46:53,342
* I like 'em big and
794
00:46:53,378 --> 00:46:54,548
* Stupid
795
00:46:58,516 --> 00:47:02,346
* What kind of guy
does a lot for me? *
796
00:47:02,387 --> 00:47:05,257
* Superman
with a lobotomy *
797
00:47:05,290 --> 00:47:07,260
* My father's
out of Harvard *
798
00:47:07,292 --> 00:47:09,032
* My brother's out of Yale
799
00:47:09,060 --> 00:47:10,930
* But the guy
I took home last night *
800
00:47:10,962 --> 00:47:12,932
* Just got
out of jail... *
801
00:47:12,964 --> 00:47:14,574
Valerie! Hi!
Over here!
802
00:47:14,599 --> 00:47:16,899
Candy!
Hi!
803
00:47:16,935 --> 00:47:19,595
Are you nuts?
What are you doing?
804
00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:21,507
Having cocktails.
805
00:47:22,908 --> 00:47:25,178
Alaskan
polar bear heater.
806
00:47:25,210 --> 00:47:27,150
Ted is coming home
tonight,
807
00:47:27,178 --> 00:47:31,148
and there's a UFO
in my pool. A UFO!
808
00:47:31,182 --> 00:47:34,552
B.F.D. Ted won't be there
for a few hours.
809
00:47:34,585 --> 00:47:36,215
Just chill out.
810
00:47:36,254 --> 00:47:38,264
Let's get
these guys out
811
00:47:38,289 --> 00:47:40,159
before anyone realizes
they're aliens.
812
00:47:40,191 --> 00:47:43,191
No one's going to know
they're aliens, OK?
813
00:47:43,228 --> 00:47:44,328
Tanya!
814
00:47:46,064 --> 00:47:48,074
Hi. You know Val,
815
00:47:48,099 --> 00:47:50,469
and this is Mac,
Wiploc, and Zeebo.
816
00:47:50,501 --> 00:47:53,541
They're from Mars
or something!
Could you die?
817
00:47:53,571 --> 00:47:55,641
Hey, Zeebo,
want to dance?
818
00:47:56,607 --> 00:47:58,137
Want to dance?
819
00:47:58,176 --> 00:47:59,636
Great idea.
820
00:48:02,180 --> 00:48:03,650
Wiploc.
821
00:48:05,183 --> 00:48:07,093
Should I dance?
822
00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,388
Sure.
823
00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:10,989
Fine. Hey,
party down.
824
00:48:11,022 --> 00:48:13,092
When you're ready
for your chauffeur,
825
00:48:13,124 --> 00:48:15,234
I'll be out
on the patio.
826
00:48:16,561 --> 00:48:18,231
What's her problem?
827
00:48:20,565 --> 00:48:22,365
Two weeks?
828
00:48:23,268 --> 00:48:24,438
Whoa!
829
00:48:24,469 --> 00:48:26,939
* ...'Cause
it was so stupid *
830
00:48:26,972 --> 00:48:30,012
* The bigger they come,
the harder I fall *
831
00:48:30,041 --> 00:48:31,581
* In love till we're done
832
00:48:31,609 --> 00:48:33,239
* Then they're
out in the hall... *
833
00:48:33,278 --> 00:48:35,508
Come on.
Let's dance.
834
00:48:35,546 --> 00:48:37,216
Woo!
835
00:48:37,248 --> 00:48:39,218
* I like 'em big and
836
00:48:39,250 --> 00:48:41,020
* Real dumb
837
00:48:41,052 --> 00:48:42,522
* I like 'em big and...
838
00:48:42,553 --> 00:48:43,853
He left?
839
00:48:47,725 --> 00:48:50,095
* She likes 'em big and
840
00:48:50,128 --> 00:48:51,528
* Stupid *
841
00:48:56,267 --> 00:48:57,937
[ Piano Playing ]
842
00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:10,452
You, go rest
your thumbs.
I'll drive.
843
00:49:41,312 --> 00:49:43,252
You could actually
play that?
844
00:49:43,281 --> 00:49:46,781
Valerie, are we limp
and hard to manage?
845
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:49,447
Oh, no, no.
You're fine.
846
00:49:49,487 --> 00:49:50,587
I'm sorry.
847
00:49:50,621 --> 00:49:54,591
I just don't feel
like talking much.
848
00:49:54,625 --> 00:49:58,195
I guess I figured that
everything would
just fall into place
849
00:49:58,229 --> 00:50:00,169
if I found
Mr. Right.
850
00:50:00,198 --> 00:50:02,268
Mr. Right?
851
00:50:02,300 --> 00:50:06,300
Mr. Right is
like the guy you
dream of meeting
852
00:50:06,337 --> 00:50:08,807
ever since you're
a little girl.
853
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,439
You'd go anyplace
or do anything
854
00:50:11,476 --> 00:50:13,276
to be together.
855
00:50:13,311 --> 00:50:15,051
He feels
the same way about you
856
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:18,120
because you're right
for each other.
857
00:50:18,149 --> 00:50:19,519
I don't know.
858
00:50:19,550 --> 00:50:21,520
Maybe
I'm kidding myself.
859
00:50:21,552 --> 00:50:24,222
Maybe there's
no such thing.
860
00:50:31,796 --> 00:50:34,226
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
861
00:50:34,265 --> 00:50:36,365
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
862
00:50:36,401 --> 00:50:38,401
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
863
00:50:38,436 --> 00:50:40,366
* Out on the floor
864
00:50:40,405 --> 00:50:42,365
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
865
00:50:42,407 --> 00:50:44,507
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
866
00:50:44,542 --> 00:50:46,112
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
867
00:50:46,144 --> 00:50:47,554
Hey, baby.
868
00:50:47,578 --> 00:50:52,678
Why be with a zero
when you can dance
with a hero?
869
00:50:52,717 --> 00:50:55,587
* Oh, baby
870
00:50:56,554 --> 00:50:58,494
* You got to tell me
871
00:50:58,523 --> 00:51:01,633
* Where it takes us
you don't care *
872
00:51:01,659 --> 00:51:04,659
* Ooh, yeah
873
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:06,795
* Baby, just fix up
your hair *
874
00:51:06,831 --> 00:51:12,641
* It doesn't matter
what you wear to me *
875
00:51:12,670 --> 00:51:14,610
* Get yourself back
in your car *
876
00:51:14,639 --> 00:51:17,639
* We don't have to
go too far *
877
00:51:17,675 --> 00:51:19,375
* To see
878
00:51:19,410 --> 00:51:21,210
* Oh, baby
879
00:51:21,246 --> 00:51:22,146
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
880
00:51:22,180 --> 00:51:24,880
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
881
00:51:24,915 --> 00:51:27,485
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
882
00:51:27,518 --> 00:51:28,618
* Out on the floor
883
00:51:28,653 --> 00:51:30,663
* Come on, now, hurry
884
00:51:30,688 --> 00:51:32,288
* There's always something
we can do *
885
00:51:32,323 --> 00:51:37,203
Why be with a hero
when you can dance
with a zero?
886
00:51:37,228 --> 00:51:39,228
* Don't have to worry
887
00:51:39,264 --> 00:51:42,134
* As long as I'm not there
with you *
888
00:51:42,167 --> 00:51:44,667
* Oh, yeah, yeah
889
00:51:44,702 --> 00:51:47,672
* Baby, just fix up
your hair *
890
00:51:47,705 --> 00:51:52,235
* It doesn't matter
what you wear to me *
891
00:51:54,179 --> 00:51:55,409
* Get yourself back
in your car *
892
00:51:55,446 --> 00:51:58,416
* We don't have to
go too far *
893
00:51:58,449 --> 00:52:00,419
Whoa.
894
00:52:00,451 --> 00:52:01,851
Back off, Jack!
895
00:52:01,886 --> 00:52:03,816
The lucky lady's
with me,
896
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:07,194
and don't be copping
my dance moves.
897
00:52:07,225 --> 00:52:09,785
I'll dance
with you both.
I don't care.
898
00:52:09,827 --> 00:52:12,427
No, no, no.
You don't
understand.
899
00:52:12,463 --> 00:52:13,833
He can't dance.
900
00:52:13,864 --> 00:52:17,244
All right. I know
he can't do this.
901
00:52:18,369 --> 00:52:20,269
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
902
00:52:20,305 --> 00:52:22,535
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
903
00:52:22,573 --> 00:52:24,943
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
904
00:52:24,975 --> 00:52:26,435
* Out on the floor
905
00:52:26,477 --> 00:52:28,477
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
906
00:52:28,513 --> 00:52:30,723
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
907
00:52:30,748 --> 00:52:32,548
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
908
00:52:32,583 --> 00:52:34,453
* Out on the floor
909
00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:36,445
* Shake all night
910
00:52:36,487 --> 00:52:37,687
* Don't you
want to shake it? *
911
00:52:37,722 --> 00:52:39,962
* Baby gonna dance
all night *
912
00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:42,530
* Come shake it, baby
913
00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:43,930
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
914
00:52:43,961 --> 00:52:44,831
* Shake it, baby
915
00:52:44,862 --> 00:52:46,832
* Shake it, baby,
shake it *
916
00:52:46,864 --> 00:52:48,804
* Dance all night
917
00:52:48,833 --> 00:52:50,843
* Out on the floor
918
00:52:57,608 --> 00:52:59,678
Come on, man.
919
00:53:02,847 --> 00:53:05,647
Hot damn!
Hot damn!
920
00:53:07,985 --> 00:53:11,385
* There's nothing
I'd rather do *
921
00:53:12,990 --> 00:53:16,690
* Right here
while you're mine *
922
00:53:16,727 --> 00:53:19,657
* Being here with you
923
00:53:19,697 --> 00:53:23,827
* Leaving it
all behind, baby *
924
00:53:26,003 --> 00:53:29,373
All right!
Hey! Woo!
925
00:53:38,983 --> 00:53:41,293
* Baby, just fix up
your hair *
926
00:53:41,319 --> 00:53:46,989
* It doesn't matter
what you wear to me *
927
00:53:47,024 --> 00:53:49,434
* Get yourself back
in your car *
928
00:53:49,460 --> 00:53:52,560
* We don't have to
go too far *
929
00:53:52,597 --> 00:53:53,697
* To see
930
00:53:53,731 --> 00:53:55,301
* Oh, baby
931
00:53:55,333 --> 00:53:57,343
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
932
00:53:57,368 --> 00:53:59,398
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
933
00:53:59,437 --> 00:54:01,937
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
934
00:54:01,972 --> 00:54:03,472
* Out on the floor
935
00:54:03,508 --> 00:54:05,808
* Baby gonna
shake all night *
936
00:54:05,843 --> 00:54:06,943
* Baby gonna
shake it right *
937
00:54:06,977 --> 00:54:09,777
* Baby gonna
shake so fast *
938
00:54:09,814 --> 00:54:11,824
* Out on the floor
939
00:54:11,849 --> 00:54:13,479
* Shake all night
940
00:54:13,518 --> 00:54:15,348
Damn!
941
00:54:15,386 --> 00:54:17,686
* Baby *
942
00:54:26,397 --> 00:54:28,497
I'm going home
with him.
943
00:54:28,533 --> 00:54:30,603
I'm going home
with him.
944
00:54:32,337 --> 00:54:34,307
I'm going home
with him.
945
00:54:35,973 --> 00:54:38,583
Bitch.
946
00:54:38,609 --> 00:54:41,009
I don't even know
what planet
you're from.
947
00:54:41,045 --> 00:54:42,605
Jhazalla.
948
00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:46,317
Oh. We've only been
as far as the moon.
949
00:54:49,654 --> 00:54:51,624
You know, at first,
950
00:54:51,656 --> 00:54:53,956
I thought you
kind of looked
951
00:54:53,991 --> 00:54:56,591
like a giant bigfoot
or something,
952
00:54:56,627 --> 00:55:00,967
but now...
if I didn't know
you were an alien,
953
00:55:00,998 --> 00:55:05,568
I would just think
that you were
a really cute guy
954
00:55:05,603 --> 00:55:08,343
who, I'm sure,
has a girlfriend.
955
00:55:08,373 --> 00:55:11,313
No Mr. Right girlfriend.
956
00:55:20,751 --> 00:55:22,451
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
957
00:55:24,589 --> 00:55:26,959
Oh, my God.
That's Wiploc.
958
00:55:26,991 --> 00:55:28,731
* Hit me *
959
00:55:29,594 --> 00:55:30,904
All right!
960
00:55:30,928 --> 00:55:32,498
All right!
961
00:55:32,530 --> 00:55:34,600
All right!
962
00:55:47,878 --> 00:55:49,848
Give me your autograph
on my forehead.
963
00:55:49,880 --> 00:55:51,620
Sign these.
964
00:55:54,184 --> 00:55:57,124
Candy, you're frenching
an alien in public!
965
00:55:57,154 --> 00:56:00,534
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
966
00:56:02,693 --> 00:56:04,563
You OK?
967
00:56:04,595 --> 00:56:06,455
Wiploc.
Wiploc.
968
00:56:06,497 --> 00:56:11,537
I want to be zero.
I want to be zero.
969
00:56:11,569 --> 00:56:13,039
No, no, no.
970
00:56:17,141 --> 00:56:19,011
Candy, uh,
I'll call you.
971
00:56:19,043 --> 00:56:21,453
Oh, what
was it like?
972
00:56:21,479 --> 00:56:23,709
Oh, my God!
You're so lucky!
973
00:56:23,748 --> 00:56:25,448
Did you get
his number?
974
00:56:25,483 --> 00:56:27,893
I want his baby.
975
00:56:30,154 --> 00:56:31,824
Sweetheart?
976
00:56:31,856 --> 00:56:33,986
Sweetheart,
I'm sorry.
977
00:56:34,024 --> 00:56:35,794
Val?
978
00:56:39,764 --> 00:56:40,934
Honey?
979
00:56:41,932 --> 00:56:43,632
Hey, Val?
980
00:56:47,838 --> 00:56:49,808
What?
Oh, wait a second.
981
00:56:49,840 --> 00:56:53,180
They said the Commodore
would stand up to anything.
982
00:56:53,210 --> 00:56:55,780
[ Thud ]
Oh!
983
00:56:55,813 --> 00:56:58,623
Beamer?
Beamer?
984
00:57:00,785 --> 00:57:03,145
Beamer.
[ Making Fish Noise ]
985
00:57:03,187 --> 00:57:05,117
Astin, where's Martin?
986
00:57:05,155 --> 00:57:06,755
Where's Val?
Don't, don't panic.
987
00:57:06,791 --> 00:57:09,031
She probably wasn't here
when it happened.
988
00:57:09,059 --> 00:57:13,699
Operator,
give me the police.
This is an emergency.
989
00:57:27,177 --> 00:57:28,777
Police?
This is Dr. Gallagher.
990
00:57:28,813 --> 00:57:31,883
I'd like to report
a break-in
991
00:57:31,916 --> 00:57:36,186
and...
and a possible kidnapping.
992
00:57:36,220 --> 00:57:37,760
Oh, God.
Ted's here.
993
00:57:37,788 --> 00:57:40,628
You guys,
act human, OK?
994
00:57:40,658 --> 00:57:42,758
Just act human.
995
00:57:43,794 --> 00:57:45,804
Oh, sweetheart,
you're all right.
996
00:57:45,830 --> 00:57:48,770
Oh, I was so worried
about you.
997
00:57:48,799 --> 00:57:51,899
When I came home,
the house was wrecked.
998
00:57:54,304 --> 00:57:57,074
Who are they?
999
00:57:57,107 --> 00:57:59,807
Who?
Those guys?
Yeah.
1000
00:57:59,844 --> 00:58:01,014
A band.
1001
00:58:01,045 --> 00:58:04,005
Boy,
I'm totally clear.
[ Humming ]
1002
00:58:04,048 --> 00:58:06,548
You mean like
a rock 'n' roll
band?
1003
00:58:06,584 --> 00:58:09,554
What are you doing
with a band, Val?
1004
00:58:09,587 --> 00:58:11,257
I won them
on MTV.
1005
00:58:11,288 --> 00:58:14,258
I won an MTV weekend
with a band.
1006
00:58:14,291 --> 00:58:16,791
Hi. I am, uh, Mac.
1007
00:58:16,827 --> 00:58:19,197
How is it hanging,
Mr. Dude?
1008
00:58:19,229 --> 00:58:22,129
Dr. Dude.
Dr. Dude?
1009
00:58:22,166 --> 00:58:27,296
I came home
to talk to you alone.
1010
00:58:27,337 --> 00:58:31,137
This is private.
I'm sure you won't mind
when I ask you to leave.
1011
00:58:31,175 --> 00:58:34,135
They can't leave.
They're spending
the weekend.
1012
00:58:34,178 --> 00:58:38,148
No, Val. They can't.
This is my house.
1013
00:58:38,182 --> 00:58:42,652
Your house? Wait.
I threw you out,
Dr. Love.
1014
00:58:42,687 --> 00:58:45,217
I'm going to
throw them out.
What about that?
1015
00:58:45,255 --> 00:58:47,285
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
1016
00:58:47,324 --> 00:58:50,764
I won them.
What?
1017
00:58:50,795 --> 00:58:54,625
You're tearing
me apart!
1018
00:58:54,665 --> 00:58:57,795
You have no business being
with these weird people.
1019
00:58:57,835 --> 00:59:00,605
I never won
a band before.
They're staying.
1020
00:59:00,638 --> 00:59:02,808
I want you
to be happy,
but--
1021
00:59:02,840 --> 00:59:04,210
Dr. Dude?
What now?
1022
00:59:04,241 --> 00:59:06,681
Yee-wah.
Ah!
1023
00:59:06,711 --> 00:59:09,051
He was good.
You animal!
1024
00:59:10,615 --> 00:59:13,275
I ought to give you
a tracheotomy.
1025
00:59:13,317 --> 00:59:16,347
That was Mercedes,
my most expensive
fish!
1026
00:59:16,386 --> 00:59:20,626
Hey, what's
going on here?
Break it up.
1027
00:59:20,658 --> 00:59:24,658
Hey, hey! Come on!
Break it up.
1028
00:59:24,695 --> 00:59:26,055
What are you doing?
1029
00:59:26,096 --> 00:59:27,796
Who's
Dr. Gallagher?
1030
00:59:27,832 --> 00:59:30,032
I'm
Dr. Gallagher.
1031
00:59:30,067 --> 00:59:31,937
Uh-huh.
I'm Officer Demonte.
1032
00:59:31,969 --> 00:59:33,739
This is
Officer Murphy.
1033
00:59:33,771 --> 00:59:36,611
You reported a break-in
and possible kidnapping?
1034
00:59:36,641 --> 00:59:39,011
Yes, I did,
but she's fine.
1035
00:59:39,043 --> 00:59:43,983
However,
these degenerates
broke into my home
1036
00:59:44,014 --> 00:59:45,854
and destroyed
my property.
1037
00:59:45,883 --> 00:59:48,623
I want them arrested
right now.
They're MTV scum!
1038
00:59:48,653 --> 00:59:52,063
Ma'am, you mind telling us
what's going on here?
1039
00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,989
This man doesn't
live here anymore,
1040
00:59:54,024 --> 00:59:57,664
and he's strangling
my guests.
1041
00:59:57,695 --> 00:59:59,295
He was eating
my Blue-Gilled
Dorky.
1042
00:59:59,329 --> 01:00:01,199
Watch your mouth!
1043
01:00:01,231 --> 01:00:04,771
10-13. We got
a false report.
1044
01:00:04,802 --> 01:00:07,202
Just a domestic
dispute.
1045
01:00:07,237 --> 01:00:11,277
His girlfriend
dumped him
for a rock band.
1046
01:00:11,308 --> 01:00:13,178
Bullshit!
1047
01:00:13,210 --> 01:00:16,010
Let's go where
you can cool off.
1048
01:00:16,046 --> 01:00:17,976
I'm a doctor!
1049
01:00:18,015 --> 01:00:20,345
If we bust your arm,
you can put on
your own cast.
1050
01:00:20,384 --> 01:00:24,024
You're right, Val.
I don't know you.
1051
01:00:24,054 --> 01:00:27,094
If you thought I'd spend
my life with you,
1052
01:00:27,124 --> 01:00:29,934
your friends, and
that psychotic cat of yours,
1053
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:31,160
you're crazy!
1054
01:00:31,195 --> 01:00:34,665
The wedding's off, Val!
Come on, buddy.
1055
01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:40,735
You want to dance
with a zero?
1056
01:00:40,771 --> 01:00:42,811
I'm sorry.
1057
01:00:42,840 --> 01:00:46,210
I think I have to
go to my room now.
1058
01:00:55,953 --> 01:00:58,063
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1059
01:01:21,111 --> 01:01:23,181
Is Ted
coming back?
1060
01:01:25,382 --> 01:01:28,152
[ Sigh ]
1061
01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:30,185
No. Ted doesn't want
to come back.
1062
01:01:30,220 --> 01:01:31,490
[ Door Closes ]
1063
01:01:31,521 --> 01:01:33,791
I don't know
what Ted wants,
1064
01:01:33,824 --> 01:01:36,234
but it's not me.
1065
01:01:36,260 --> 01:01:38,360
What does
Valerie want?
1066
01:01:39,529 --> 01:01:41,099
I don't know.
1067
01:01:41,131 --> 01:01:43,731
I just want
to be happy.
1068
01:01:43,768 --> 01:01:46,368
Mac could make
Valerie happy.
1069
01:01:46,403 --> 01:01:49,013
Thanks, but I don't think
1070
01:01:49,039 --> 01:01:52,509
anybody could make me feel
very good right now.
1071
01:01:52,542 --> 01:01:54,482
Mac could make
Valerie feel
1072
01:01:54,511 --> 01:01:57,211
very, very good.
1073
01:01:57,247 --> 01:02:00,787
Wait a minute.
Are you coming on to me?
1074
01:02:00,818 --> 01:02:02,318
Is this a pass?
1075
01:02:02,352 --> 01:02:07,522
Because if it is,
sex is totally
out of the question.
1076
01:02:07,557 --> 01:02:09,527
What is sex?
1077
01:02:09,559 --> 01:02:11,929
Sex? You know,
making love.
1078
01:02:11,962 --> 01:02:14,932
A man and a woman
like each other,
1079
01:02:14,965 --> 01:02:18,065
and they take
their clothes off, and...
1080
01:02:18,102 --> 01:02:20,472
OK.
1081
01:02:20,504 --> 01:02:22,444
Well, no, no, no!
1082
01:02:22,472 --> 01:02:25,482
We can't because
me and Ted are, uh...
1083
01:02:25,509 --> 01:02:28,479
I guess we're not,
but, I mean, uh...
1084
01:02:28,512 --> 01:02:31,082
we can't because
you're an alien,
1085
01:02:31,115 --> 01:02:33,045
and I'm from the valley.
1086
01:02:33,083 --> 01:02:37,053
We may not even be
anatomically correct
for each other.
1087
01:02:37,087 --> 01:02:39,457
That could be
a real problem.
1088
01:02:39,489 --> 01:02:40,459
[ Zipper Unzips ]
1089
01:02:40,490 --> 01:02:42,060
No problem.
1090
01:02:42,092 --> 01:02:45,062
But, I mean, uh,
no, no, no.
1091
01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:47,495
I mean,
it just wouldn't work.
1092
01:02:47,531 --> 01:02:49,471
You're from out of town.
1093
01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:52,499
The phone bills
would just be hell...
1094
01:02:52,536 --> 01:02:53,296
Shh.
1095
01:02:53,337 --> 01:02:56,437
Well, I just don't
want you to think
1096
01:02:56,473 --> 01:02:58,443
Earth girls are easy.
1097
01:02:58,475 --> 01:03:00,435
What is easy?
1098
01:03:00,477 --> 01:03:02,447
This is easy.
1099
01:04:56,393 --> 01:04:58,303
Aah!
1100
01:05:04,001 --> 01:05:06,171
Ah!
1101
01:05:06,203 --> 01:05:07,503
[ Siren ]
1102
01:05:07,537 --> 01:05:09,037
Oh!
1103
01:05:20,617 --> 01:05:22,287
Yeah,
yeah, yeah!
1104
01:05:22,319 --> 01:05:23,489
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
1105
01:05:23,520 --> 01:05:27,260
I told you
not to have fun.
1106
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:34,701
[ Ring ]
1107
01:05:34,731 --> 01:05:37,331
[ Ring ]
1108
01:05:39,536 --> 01:05:43,066
[ Ring ]
1109
01:05:43,107 --> 01:05:44,537
Help!
1110
01:05:59,523 --> 01:06:01,393
Ted!
1111
01:06:02,592 --> 01:06:05,502
Help!
1112
01:06:05,529 --> 01:06:08,669
Uh-oh.
Uh, don't go anywhere.
1113
01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:10,668
I've been paged.
1114
01:06:10,700 --> 01:06:12,440
Oh, sweetheart.
1115
01:06:12,469 --> 01:06:13,239
Ted.
1116
01:06:13,270 --> 01:06:15,210
Ted, make it stop.
1117
01:06:15,239 --> 01:06:16,269
Ted.
1118
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:21,678
What happened
to my fish?
1119
01:06:24,381 --> 01:06:26,151
Ted!
1120
01:06:33,423 --> 01:06:35,233
Beamer!
1121
01:06:35,259 --> 01:06:38,229
Your face!
What happened?
1122
01:06:38,262 --> 01:06:40,402
[ Ribbit Ribbit ]
1123
01:06:47,071 --> 01:06:50,511
Ted!
Stop it.
1124
01:06:50,540 --> 01:06:52,540
Stop it! Stop it!
1125
01:06:56,413 --> 01:06:59,383
Aaah!
1126
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,778
Hi.
1127
01:07:34,151 --> 01:07:35,391
Hi.
1128
01:07:39,589 --> 01:07:40,359
God.
1129
01:07:40,390 --> 01:07:43,530
I had the weirdest
dream last night.
1130
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:45,560
All I remember is--
1131
01:07:45,595 --> 01:07:46,655
Shh...
1132
01:07:51,435 --> 01:07:54,235
[ Thump Thump ]
[ Thump Thump ]
1133
01:07:54,271 --> 01:07:56,871
You have
the strangest heartbeat.
1134
01:07:56,906 --> 01:07:59,506
Sounds like
you have two hearts.
1135
01:07:59,543 --> 01:08:00,783
Yes.
1136
01:08:00,810 --> 01:08:02,450
Don't you?
1137
01:08:03,680 --> 01:08:06,450
No. I just have one.
1138
01:08:07,651 --> 01:08:09,621
Tell me
about Zimbabwe.
1139
01:08:09,653 --> 01:08:11,793
Jhazalla?
1140
01:08:11,821 --> 01:08:15,291
Jhazalla.
Is it like Earth?
1141
01:08:15,325 --> 01:08:17,525
Yes.
It's beautiful.
1142
01:08:17,561 --> 01:08:21,671
Sounds neat.
Is driving a UFO
a good job?
1143
01:08:21,698 --> 01:08:23,528
Oh, yes.
1144
01:08:23,567 --> 01:08:26,397
Do you own
your own home or rent?
1145
01:08:26,436 --> 01:08:28,166
No water.
Come look.
1146
01:08:29,239 --> 01:08:31,409
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1147
01:08:51,395 --> 01:08:54,125
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1148
01:09:34,938 --> 01:09:36,938
Hi, guys.
1149
01:09:36,973 --> 01:09:39,543
Hope instant decaf
is OK.
1150
01:09:39,576 --> 01:09:40,706
Breakfast is on the way.
1151
01:09:40,744 --> 01:09:43,554
I'm making pancakes
from scratch.
1152
01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:45,950
Yeah. Valerie, uh...
1153
01:09:45,982 --> 01:09:47,652
we can go home now.
1154
01:09:47,684 --> 01:09:48,754
Oh.
1155
01:09:49,853 --> 01:09:52,863
Gee...
that's great.
1156
01:09:54,391 --> 01:09:58,701
Wow. I didn't think
it would be so soon.
1157
01:09:58,728 --> 01:10:00,458
Yeah.
1158
01:10:01,598 --> 01:10:04,668
That's, uh,
that's really good.
1159
01:10:04,701 --> 01:10:07,701
Yeah. Uh, Valerie...
1160
01:10:10,006 --> 01:10:12,276
[ Telephone Rings ]
1161
01:10:12,309 --> 01:10:14,809
Well, I better go
get that.
1162
01:10:14,844 --> 01:10:16,684
Pool man!
1163
01:10:16,713 --> 01:10:19,583
Hey, dudes,
what's happening?
1164
01:10:20,650 --> 01:10:23,450
Woody.
Woody.
1165
01:10:23,487 --> 01:10:25,487
What is this?
1166
01:10:25,522 --> 01:10:29,692
A spaceship?
Spaceship?
1167
01:10:32,362 --> 01:10:34,332
No way, Jose.
1168
01:10:34,364 --> 01:10:36,474
What is it?
A car.
1169
01:10:36,500 --> 01:10:38,900
That's why she wanted me
to drain it.
1170
01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:40,595
She drove her car
into the pool.
1171
01:10:40,637 --> 01:10:42,667
I'm always doing that.
1172
01:10:42,706 --> 01:10:46,806
Pretty rad car, though.
Where is it made?
1173
01:10:46,843 --> 01:10:48,683
Finland.
1174
01:10:48,712 --> 01:10:49,952
Finland.Finland.
1175
01:10:49,979 --> 01:10:52,019
Oh, I heard of that.
1176
01:10:52,048 --> 01:10:55,948
Ted, bringing that girl
here was inexcusable.
1177
01:10:55,985 --> 01:11:00,355
Now that I've slept on it,
I could probably
forgive you,
1178
01:11:00,390 --> 01:11:02,730
but what about
calling off the wedding?
1179
01:11:02,759 --> 01:11:05,299
Sweetheart,
I didn't mean that.
1180
01:11:05,329 --> 01:11:08,299
Marrying you is the most
important thing in the world.
1181
01:11:08,332 --> 01:11:11,302
I need you
to take care of me.
1182
01:11:11,335 --> 01:11:14,695
I won't so much
as look at another woman,
1183
01:11:14,738 --> 01:11:19,708
unless, of course, I'm giving
her a physical examination.
1184
01:11:19,743 --> 01:11:24,683
A relationship is
like a porcelain nail--
1185
01:11:24,714 --> 01:11:27,684
You can break it,
you can glue it
back together,
1186
01:11:27,717 --> 01:11:29,687
but it won't be
as strong as before
1187
01:11:29,719 --> 01:11:32,959
unless the person's
committed and not
bringing home nurses.
1188
01:11:32,989 --> 01:11:36,089
You should've seen me
today, man.
1189
01:11:36,125 --> 01:11:38,555
Nothing but radical rips
all the way in.
1190
01:11:38,595 --> 01:11:39,995
You want
some slushy?
1191
01:11:40,029 --> 01:11:43,099
I was barely
off my board
1192
01:11:43,132 --> 01:11:45,742
when the wahines
were all over me.
1193
01:11:45,769 --> 01:11:47,999
Ew! Wahines!
1194
01:11:48,037 --> 01:11:51,777
Wahines.
You know, girls.
1195
01:11:51,808 --> 01:11:54,708
Girls?
You know girls?
1196
01:11:54,744 --> 01:11:56,114
Does the Woodburger
know girls?
1197
01:11:56,145 --> 01:11:58,415
Pinocchio got
a wooden butt?
1198
01:11:58,448 --> 01:12:01,788
I could fix you up
with some bodacious chicks
1199
01:12:01,818 --> 01:12:03,948
just like that.
1200
01:12:03,987 --> 01:12:07,417
You don't believe me?
Like that.
1201
01:12:07,457 --> 01:12:11,127
Come on. Let's hit the beach.
Ride the wild bikinis!
1202
01:12:11,160 --> 01:12:13,700
We go get Candy?
1203
01:12:13,730 --> 01:12:16,700
Candy, gum,
beer nuts,
anything you want.
1204
01:12:16,733 --> 01:12:18,033
Twizzlers.
I got some
Milk Duds.
1205
01:12:18,067 --> 01:12:19,897
You ought to
lay off coffee.
1206
01:12:19,936 --> 01:12:22,836
It'll kill you
in a day.
1207
01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:27,012
I will take you
to Zuma Beach.
1208
01:12:27,043 --> 01:12:28,553
I need surprises.
1209
01:12:28,578 --> 01:12:30,078
I need romance.
1210
01:12:30,113 --> 01:12:32,053
How long has it been
1211
01:12:32,081 --> 01:12:36,121
since you said
I love you, I need you,
1212
01:12:36,152 --> 01:12:38,492
I'm crazy about you?
1213
01:12:40,790 --> 01:12:42,490
Well, Ted?
1214
01:12:42,526 --> 01:12:44,486
Get in the car,
will you?
1215
01:12:44,528 --> 01:12:47,598
Wiploc.
Zeebo.
1216
01:12:47,631 --> 01:12:50,471
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1217
01:12:50,500 --> 01:12:53,840
Zeebo going
to Zuma Beach!
1218
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,470
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1219
01:12:55,505 --> 01:12:56,835
Zeebo!
1220
01:12:56,873 --> 01:12:58,613
Wiploc!
1221
01:12:58,642 --> 01:13:01,082
Hey, dudes,
I just remembered
something.
1222
01:13:01,110 --> 01:13:02,650
What was it?
1223
01:13:02,679 --> 01:13:04,679
At the beach today,
1224
01:13:04,714 --> 01:13:07,684
they're having
a blond-of-the-month
contest.
1225
01:13:07,717 --> 01:13:08,647
Blond?
1226
01:13:08,685 --> 01:13:10,085
Yeah, you know,
1227
01:13:10,119 --> 01:13:12,889
blond beach bunnies,
California's finest.
1228
01:13:27,471 --> 01:13:30,071
* Because I'm blond
I don't have to think *
1229
01:13:30,106 --> 01:13:31,776
* I talk like a baby
1230
01:13:31,808 --> 01:13:33,108
* And I never pay
for drinks *
1231
01:13:33,142 --> 01:13:35,852
* Don't have to worry
about getting a man *
1232
01:13:35,879 --> 01:13:38,549
* If I keep this blond
and I keep these tanned *
1233
01:13:38,582 --> 01:13:41,452
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1234
01:13:41,485 --> 01:13:44,045
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1235
01:13:44,087 --> 01:13:45,817
* I see people working
1236
01:13:45,855 --> 01:13:47,215
* It just makes me giggle
1237
01:13:47,256 --> 01:13:48,456
* 'Cause I don't
have to work *
1238
01:13:48,492 --> 01:13:50,692
* I just have to jiggle
1239
01:13:50,727 --> 01:13:52,857
* 'Cause I'm blond,
b-l-o-n-d *
1240
01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:54,996
* 'Cause I'm a blond
Don't you wish you were me? *
1241
01:13:55,031 --> 01:13:56,801
* I never
learned to read *
1242
01:13:56,833 --> 01:13:58,573
* And I never learned
to cook *
1243
01:13:58,602 --> 01:14:01,672
* Why should I bother
when I look like I look? *
1244
01:14:01,705 --> 01:14:04,005
* I know lots of people
are smarter than me *
1245
01:14:04,040 --> 01:14:08,140
* But I have this philosophy--
so what? *
1246
01:14:10,146 --> 01:14:12,916
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1247
01:14:12,949 --> 01:14:14,549
* I see girls without dates
1248
01:14:14,584 --> 01:14:15,694
* And I feel
so sorry for them *
1249
01:14:15,719 --> 01:14:18,659
* 'Cause whenever I'm around
all the men ignore them *
1250
01:14:18,688 --> 01:14:21,118
* 'Cause I'm blond,
nyah, nyah, nyah *
1251
01:14:21,157 --> 01:14:24,587
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
nyah, nyah, nyah *
1252
01:14:24,628 --> 01:14:27,198
* They say to make it
you need talent and ambition *
1253
01:14:27,230 --> 01:14:30,770
* Well, I got a TV show
and this was my audition *
1254
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,270
Um, what was it?
OK, don't tell me.
1255
01:14:33,302 --> 01:14:35,612
Oh, yeah, OK.
"Duck, Magnum, duck!"
1256
01:14:35,639 --> 01:14:38,609
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1257
01:14:38,642 --> 01:14:42,012
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1258
01:14:42,045 --> 01:14:44,875
* I took an IQ test,
and I flunked it, of course *
1259
01:14:44,914 --> 01:14:47,084
* I can't spell "VW,"
but I got a Porsche *
1260
01:14:47,116 --> 01:14:49,546
* 'Cause I'm a blond
b-l-o-n-d *
1261
01:14:49,586 --> 01:14:52,816
*'Cause I'm a blond
don't you wish you were me? *
1262
01:14:52,856 --> 01:14:53,856
* I just want to say
1263
01:14:53,890 --> 01:14:56,190
* That being chosen
as this month's Miss August *
1264
01:14:56,225 --> 01:14:57,525
* Is, like, a compliment
I'll remember *
1265
01:14:57,561 --> 01:14:58,901
* For as long as I can
1266
01:14:58,928 --> 01:14:59,898
* Right now,
I'm a freshman *
1267
01:14:59,929 --> 01:15:01,259
* In my fourth year
at U.C.L.A. *
1268
01:15:01,297 --> 01:15:03,097
* But my goal is
to become a veterinarian *
1269
01:15:03,132 --> 01:15:04,732
* 'Cause I love children
1270
01:15:04,768 --> 01:15:07,038
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1271
01:15:07,070 --> 01:15:10,210
* 'Cause we're a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1272
01:15:10,239 --> 01:15:13,109
* Girls think I'm snotty
and maybe it's true *
1273
01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:15,782
* With my hair and body
you would be, too *
1274
01:15:15,812 --> 01:15:18,752
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
b-l...I don't know *
1275
01:15:18,782 --> 01:15:21,222
* I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1276
01:15:21,250 --> 01:15:24,290
* Yes, I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah *
1277
01:15:24,320 --> 01:15:27,690
* 'Cause I'm a blond,
yeah, yeah, yeah **
1278
01:15:35,331 --> 01:15:37,231
Hey, dudes.
1279
01:15:37,266 --> 01:15:38,896
Dudes, come on.
Snap out of it.
1280
01:15:38,935 --> 01:15:41,095
We're making
a pit stop.
1281
01:15:49,913 --> 01:15:52,283
Bang! Bang!
1282
01:15:53,182 --> 01:15:54,882
Hello, Opie.
1283
01:15:56,352 --> 01:15:58,962
Bryan, come on
over here!
1284
01:15:58,988 --> 01:16:01,018
Will you get
in this car
right now?
1285
01:16:01,057 --> 01:16:04,027
Mom, he's got
my gun!
1286
01:16:04,060 --> 01:16:06,900
I told you
not to tell fibs!
1287
01:16:06,930 --> 01:16:09,600
Hey!
Leave home, kid!
1288
01:16:10,299 --> 01:16:12,639
Hey, dudes! Listen.
1289
01:16:12,669 --> 01:16:14,099
Since I'm springing
for the gas,
1290
01:16:14,137 --> 01:16:16,867
you pick up some brews
and some sandwich stuff.
1291
01:16:16,906 --> 01:16:19,736
Some brews
and some sandwich stuff.
1292
01:16:19,776 --> 01:16:22,876
Yeah. Like
bread and junk.
OK, dudes?
1293
01:16:22,912 --> 01:16:24,182
OK, dude.
1294
01:16:26,249 --> 01:16:28,279
Bread and junk.
1295
01:16:32,756 --> 01:16:35,286
Give us bread.
We need junk.
1296
01:16:35,324 --> 01:16:39,804
Don't shoot. Don't shoot.
I just work here.
1297
01:16:39,829 --> 01:16:42,199
I'm an American.
There. Take it.
1298
01:16:42,231 --> 01:16:43,631
[ Ding ]
Take it all.
1299
01:16:44,934 --> 01:16:49,044
Where is Candy?
Candy? Oh!
1300
01:16:49,072 --> 01:16:52,112
Right here.
Take as much as you want.
1301
01:16:55,378 --> 01:16:58,878
Thank you.
Thank you too much.
1302
01:16:59,716 --> 01:17:01,146
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1303
01:17:09,425 --> 01:17:10,425
Hey, troops!
1304
01:17:10,459 --> 01:17:12,699
Had to drain
the lizard!
1305
01:17:12,729 --> 01:17:14,399
Be right with you.
1306
01:17:18,802 --> 01:17:20,042
What do I
owe you?
1307
01:17:20,069 --> 01:17:21,669
Get down!
What?
1308
01:17:21,705 --> 01:17:23,335
Get down!
1309
01:17:25,341 --> 01:17:27,411
I was just held up.
1310
01:17:27,443 --> 01:17:29,113
They're out there.
They got guns!
1311
01:17:29,145 --> 01:17:30,205
Guns?
1312
01:17:30,246 --> 01:17:32,246
My buddies
are out there.
1313
01:17:49,065 --> 01:17:51,665
Where are they?
That green wreck.
1314
01:17:54,971 --> 01:17:57,741
Excuse me.
1315
01:17:57,774 --> 01:17:59,344
Could you back up?
1316
01:17:59,375 --> 01:18:05,275
I need to get
some unleaded.
1317
01:18:05,314 --> 01:18:06,054
Back up.
1318
01:18:06,082 --> 01:18:07,952
Back up.
1319
01:18:15,358 --> 01:18:17,828
[ Ding! Ding! ]
Aah!
1320
01:18:19,829 --> 01:18:22,229
That's my wagon!
1321
01:18:22,265 --> 01:18:23,465
Back up.
1322
01:18:24,467 --> 01:18:27,037
* Cosmic
1323
01:18:27,070 --> 01:18:29,440
* I was having
this out-of-body experience *
1324
01:18:29,472 --> 01:18:31,842
* Of all these
cosmic things *
1325
01:18:31,875 --> 01:18:34,305
* Everywhere
I went up there *
1326
01:18:34,343 --> 01:18:36,453
* They were shakin'
their cosmic things *
1327
01:18:36,479 --> 01:18:38,879
* Like someone gave you
a wild goose *
1328
01:18:38,915 --> 01:18:41,075
* Or a freight train
with a loose caboose *
1329
01:18:41,117 --> 01:18:42,447
* You better shake your
1330
01:18:42,485 --> 01:18:44,085
* Honey buns
1331
01:18:44,120 --> 01:18:45,820
* Shake your honey buns...
1332
01:18:45,855 --> 01:18:48,885
We are party Martians!
We are MTV scum!
1333
01:18:50,393 --> 01:18:52,833
* Shake
that cosmic thing *
1334
01:18:52,862 --> 01:18:53,802
* Shake that thing
1335
01:18:53,830 --> 01:18:54,460
* Shake it
1336
01:18:54,497 --> 01:18:57,967
* Shake
1337
01:18:58,001 --> 01:18:59,341
* Shake that thing
all night long *
1338
01:18:59,368 --> 01:19:02,038
* Shake it fast,
you can't go wrong *
1339
01:19:02,071 --> 01:19:04,411
* Don't let it rest
on the president's desk *
1340
01:19:04,440 --> 01:19:07,280
* Rock the house
1341
01:19:07,310 --> 01:19:08,410
* Cosmic
1342
01:19:08,444 --> 01:19:11,854
* Woo, cosmic
1343
01:19:11,881 --> 01:19:15,051
* Cosmic, woo...
Hey!
1344
01:19:15,084 --> 01:19:17,054
That looks great!
1345
01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:18,816
* Shake it
1346
01:19:18,855 --> 01:19:19,785
* Cosmic *
1347
01:19:22,125 --> 01:19:23,485
Hey, guys!
1348
01:19:23,526 --> 01:19:25,926
Brunch is ready.
Come and get it.
1349
01:19:25,962 --> 01:19:28,062
[ Telephone Rings ]
1350
01:19:28,097 --> 01:19:30,827
Hey, Valerie.
It's Woody.
1351
01:19:30,867 --> 01:19:31,867
Hi.
1352
01:19:31,901 --> 01:19:35,101
Listen, you know your friends?
Those Finland guys?
1353
01:19:35,138 --> 01:19:36,508
We were heading
to the beach--
1354
01:19:36,539 --> 01:19:39,239
What? They're gone?
They're with you?
1355
01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:41,005
No. They were.
1356
01:19:41,044 --> 01:19:44,154
They kind of robbed
the mini mart
when I wasn't lookin'.
1357
01:19:44,180 --> 01:19:46,150
Then they totaled
the gas station.
1358
01:19:46,182 --> 01:19:48,422
Then they ripped off
my van!
1359
01:19:48,451 --> 01:19:50,391
I don't belive this!
Where are you?
1360
01:19:50,419 --> 01:19:53,089
I'm at the mini mart
down the street.
1361
01:19:53,122 --> 01:19:54,862
Toys 'R' Us.
1362
01:19:54,891 --> 01:19:56,231
That's it?
1363
01:19:56,259 --> 01:19:57,989
You seen Zeebo
and Wiploc?
1364
01:19:58,027 --> 01:20:00,057
I got water
in here.
1365
01:20:00,096 --> 01:20:01,826
Maybe that's
one of them.
1366
01:20:01,865 --> 01:20:02,925
Sure?
1367
01:20:02,966 --> 01:20:04,526
Not really.
1368
01:20:04,567 --> 01:20:07,097
Good enough
for me.
1369
01:20:07,136 --> 01:20:09,836
So look--
Uh!
1370
01:20:09,873 --> 01:20:11,413
What's going on?
1371
01:20:11,440 --> 01:20:12,480
Woody!
1372
01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:14,338
What's happening?
1373
01:20:14,377 --> 01:20:15,947
I gotta go now,
Valerie.
1374
01:20:15,979 --> 01:20:18,209
I'm gettin'
my butt kicked.
1375
01:20:20,984 --> 01:20:26,364
* Well, if you plan
to motor West *
1376
01:20:28,424 --> 01:20:30,934
* Travel my way
1377
01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:34,130
* Take a highway
that's the best *
1378
01:20:36,365 --> 01:20:37,925
* And get your kicks
1379
01:20:37,967 --> 01:20:41,097
* On Route 66...
1380
01:20:41,137 --> 01:20:43,937
Aah!
1381
01:20:43,973 --> 01:20:45,543
* Well, it winds
1382
01:20:45,574 --> 01:20:48,614
* From Chicago to L.A.
1383
01:20:51,114 --> 01:20:54,284
* More than 2,000 miles
1384
01:20:54,317 --> 01:20:57,387
* All the way
1385
01:20:57,420 --> 01:20:59,560
* Get your kicks
1386
01:20:59,588 --> 01:21:02,488
* On Route 66
1387
01:21:02,525 --> 01:21:04,955
Wiploc!
1388
01:21:04,994 --> 01:21:06,234
* Well, it goes
to St. Louis *
1389
01:21:06,262 --> 01:21:09,372
* Down to Missouri
1390
01:21:09,398 --> 01:21:12,298
* Oklahoma City,
it's oh, so pretty *
1391
01:21:12,335 --> 01:21:14,395
* You'll see
1392
01:21:14,437 --> 01:21:16,207
* Amarillo
1393
01:21:16,239 --> 01:21:18,939
* Gallup, New Mexico
1394
01:21:18,975 --> 01:21:23,645
* Flagstaff, Arizona,
don't forget Winona *
1395
01:21:23,679 --> 01:21:27,079
* Kingman, Barstow,
San Bernadino *
1396
01:21:27,116 --> 01:21:32,286
* Won't you get hip
to this timely tip? *
1397
01:21:32,321 --> 01:21:34,061
Aah!
Aah!
1398
01:21:34,090 --> 01:21:39,260
* And you'll take
that California trip *
1399
01:21:39,295 --> 01:21:41,255
Oh!
Oh!
1400
01:21:41,297 --> 01:21:46,267
* Get your kicks
on Route 66 **
1401
01:21:46,302 --> 01:21:50,542
[ Sirens ]
1402
01:21:56,245 --> 01:21:58,075
You have the right
to remain silent.
1403
01:21:58,114 --> 01:22:01,484
Anything you say
can and will be used...
1404
01:22:01,517 --> 01:22:02,487
Hey!
1405
01:22:02,518 --> 01:22:04,618
Jail isn't so bad.
1406
01:22:04,653 --> 01:22:07,663
It's where I learned
how to surf.
1407
01:22:08,757 --> 01:22:11,487
He's dead meat.
You hang 10 now.
1408
01:22:11,527 --> 01:22:13,327
You've got to
believe me.
1409
01:22:13,362 --> 01:22:14,732
This is all
a misunderstanding.
1410
01:22:14,763 --> 01:22:16,203
Sorry.
1411
01:22:16,232 --> 01:22:17,602
Then arrest me.
1412
01:22:17,633 --> 01:22:18,603
Yeah.
1413
01:22:18,634 --> 01:22:20,644
Stay out of this,
flipper.
1414
01:22:20,669 --> 01:22:22,709
You didn't
do anything.
1415
01:22:26,609 --> 01:22:29,209
Hey, lady!
Don't do that!
1416
01:22:31,314 --> 01:22:33,124
Paramedic unit 104.
1417
01:22:33,149 --> 01:22:35,649
We picked up two victims
fitting the description
1418
01:22:35,684 --> 01:22:37,654
of the mini mart
robbery suspects.
1419
01:22:37,686 --> 01:22:39,616
Taking them to
Our Lady of the Valley
Hospital.
1420
01:22:39,655 --> 01:22:41,385
10-13. Copy.
1421
01:22:42,425 --> 01:22:44,185
That's Ted's hospital.
1422
01:22:44,227 --> 01:22:46,497
We have to get there.
1423
01:22:46,529 --> 01:22:50,629
Joe, take us
to hospital, please.
1424
01:22:50,666 --> 01:22:51,996
Hey, clown,
1425
01:22:52,035 --> 01:22:54,765
you're going to
the slammer.
1426
01:22:54,803 --> 01:22:56,543
We go
to slammer first.
1427
01:22:57,540 --> 01:22:59,580
Give them
that love touch,
1428
01:22:59,608 --> 01:23:02,178
then they'll
come on to me.
1429
01:23:02,211 --> 01:23:04,411
They'll be putty
in my hands.
1430
01:23:04,447 --> 01:23:06,247
You want sex
with Joe and Mike?
1431
01:23:06,282 --> 01:23:11,292
No. Just so we
can get away. Do it.
1432
01:23:19,262 --> 01:23:20,202
Hey!
1433
01:23:20,229 --> 01:23:22,529
How about
those Lakers, huh?
1434
01:23:25,201 --> 01:23:28,271
What about
those incredible
eyes of yours?
1435
01:23:29,572 --> 01:23:30,812
What?
1436
01:23:30,839 --> 01:23:33,279
They're just this far
1437
01:23:33,309 --> 01:23:36,079
from Liz Taylor
violet.
1438
01:23:45,421 --> 01:23:47,661
Oh, Michael!
1439
01:23:50,426 --> 01:23:52,656
Joseph.
1440
01:23:52,695 --> 01:23:54,755
Two new patients
in emergency...
1441
01:23:54,797 --> 01:23:57,397
Dr. Love.
1442
01:23:59,268 --> 01:24:02,608
* It's the summer
of love, love, love *
1443
01:24:02,638 --> 01:24:06,238
* I'm in love
with love, love, love *
1444
01:24:06,275 --> 01:24:10,445
* For everyone
transcends here *
1445
01:24:10,479 --> 01:24:13,549
* I'm thinking of you
1446
01:24:13,582 --> 01:24:15,552
* Boy *
1447
01:24:15,584 --> 01:24:18,294
Bye, you guys.
Thanks for the lift.
1448
01:24:18,321 --> 01:24:20,121
I hope things
work out.
1449
01:24:20,156 --> 01:24:21,356
Bye.
1450
01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:23,260
Happy house hunting.
Ciao.
1451
01:24:23,292 --> 01:24:24,862
Thank you
very much.
1452
01:24:24,893 --> 01:24:28,663
They're such
a nice couple.
1453
01:24:28,697 --> 01:24:30,397
Bye.
Bye.
1454
01:24:30,433 --> 01:24:34,543
Totally cool, Tim.
1455
01:24:34,570 --> 01:24:37,540
Ride cool rips
all the way in.
1456
01:24:38,841 --> 01:24:41,711
Great.
You two.
1457
01:24:41,744 --> 01:24:42,684
Hi, Dr. Dude.
1458
01:24:42,711 --> 01:24:44,781
The party's over.
Settle down.
1459
01:24:44,813 --> 01:24:47,123
Take us
to Valerie's house.
1460
01:24:47,150 --> 01:24:50,820
You're not setting foot
in my house again.
1461
01:24:51,854 --> 01:24:54,124
We're looking
for two patients
1462
01:24:54,157 --> 01:24:56,457
who were
just admitted.
1463
01:24:56,492 --> 01:24:59,132
That's kind of
a nasty bump.
1464
01:24:59,162 --> 01:25:00,132
Does this hurt?
1465
01:25:00,163 --> 01:25:01,703
Aah!
1466
01:25:01,730 --> 01:25:02,570
Good.
1467
01:25:02,598 --> 01:25:05,468
Let's just have
a listen here, shall we?
1468
01:25:05,501 --> 01:25:07,641
Surf's up.
Surf's up.
1469
01:25:07,670 --> 01:25:10,540
Leave it alone.
1470
01:25:10,573 --> 01:25:12,543
Breathe.
1471
01:25:12,575 --> 01:25:13,505
[ Thump Thump ]
[ Thump Thump ]
1472
01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:17,282
Again.
1473
01:25:17,313 --> 01:25:19,683
Wait a second.
Breathe.
1474
01:25:20,449 --> 01:25:22,689
Breathe.
Breathe.
1475
01:25:23,686 --> 01:25:25,646
It's incredible.
1476
01:25:26,689 --> 01:25:28,719
It's amazing.
1477
01:25:28,757 --> 01:25:30,487
You each...
1478
01:25:30,526 --> 01:25:32,656
have two heartbeats.
1479
01:25:32,695 --> 01:25:34,595
Wiploc and Zeebo?
1480
01:25:34,630 --> 01:25:36,930
What are
their last names?
1481
01:25:36,965 --> 01:25:38,795
They don't have
last names.
1482
01:25:38,834 --> 01:25:40,544
They're performers
like...Cher.
1483
01:25:40,569 --> 01:25:42,869
Oh!
1484
01:25:42,905 --> 01:25:45,465
Yes. They're in
the emergency room
1485
01:25:45,508 --> 01:25:47,478
being examined
by Dr. Gallagher.
1486
01:25:47,510 --> 01:25:49,580
Oh! He'll
dissect them.
1487
01:25:51,580 --> 01:25:53,520
You can't go in there.
1488
01:25:53,549 --> 01:25:56,349
Medical personnel only.
1489
01:25:56,385 --> 01:25:57,645
We've got to
get in there.
1490
01:25:59,955 --> 01:26:01,685
I have an idea,
but it means
1491
01:26:01,724 --> 01:26:04,834
doing something terrible
to an innocent person.
1492
01:26:04,860 --> 01:26:06,530
Let's do it.
1493
01:26:09,698 --> 01:26:11,828
Which floor?
1494
01:26:11,867 --> 01:26:13,397
Two, please.
1495
01:26:13,436 --> 01:26:16,536
I think I'm going to
enjoy this.
1496
01:26:20,443 --> 01:26:22,453
Feel this?
It's a gun.
1497
01:26:22,478 --> 01:26:23,448
What--
1498
01:26:23,479 --> 01:26:25,309
Shut up. Walk.
1499
01:26:26,449 --> 01:26:28,719
Come in here.
1500
01:26:28,751 --> 01:26:31,421
Help. She's got
a gun.
1501
01:26:31,454 --> 01:26:33,424
Take off
your uniform.
1502
01:26:33,456 --> 01:26:34,456
What?
1503
01:26:34,490 --> 01:26:36,430
Take it off!
Quick!
1504
01:26:37,526 --> 01:26:40,356
I know you.
You're Ted's girlfriend.
1505
01:26:40,396 --> 01:26:41,126
Strip.
1506
01:26:41,163 --> 01:26:43,273
I don't want any part
of you, Ted,
1507
01:26:43,299 --> 01:26:44,999
or your kinky
sex trips.
1508
01:26:45,033 --> 01:26:46,573
Strip!
1509
01:26:46,602 --> 01:26:47,842
She said strip.
1510
01:26:51,974 --> 01:26:54,684
The call button.
Push the call button.
1511
01:26:54,710 --> 01:26:55,410
Nuh-uh.
1512
01:26:55,444 --> 01:26:57,684
You'll go to prison
for this...
1513
01:26:57,713 --> 01:26:58,483
Excuse me.
1514
01:26:58,514 --> 01:27:00,884
For molesting me,
for having a gun--
1515
01:27:00,916 --> 01:27:03,686
It's not real.
1516
01:27:12,428 --> 01:27:14,398
Your heart...
Excuse me, Doctor.
1517
01:27:14,430 --> 01:27:17,870
This doctor's
here to pick up
these patients.
1518
01:27:17,900 --> 01:27:18,930
These guys aren't
going anywhere.
1519
01:27:18,967 --> 01:27:21,567
I'm admitting them
for observation under my care.
1520
01:27:21,604 --> 01:27:23,374
They seem OK
to me.
1521
01:27:23,406 --> 01:27:25,366
Nurse, listen
to their hearts,
1522
01:27:25,408 --> 01:27:27,708
and tell me what
you hear.
1523
01:27:28,777 --> 01:27:30,747
* Cover of
Time Magazine *
1524
01:27:30,779 --> 01:27:32,819
* Man of the year
1525
01:27:32,848 --> 01:27:36,318
* Yes, I'll be
rich and famous **
1526
01:27:36,352 --> 01:27:37,292
I'll be on
the Tod show.
1527
01:27:37,320 --> 01:27:39,560
Shh, Zeebo.
It's me.
1528
01:27:39,588 --> 01:27:41,488
He sounds
perfectly normal
to me, Doctor.
1529
01:27:41,524 --> 01:27:43,434
Oh, no.
That's impossible.
1530
01:27:43,459 --> 01:27:46,299
They each have
two distinct heartbeats.
1531
01:27:46,329 --> 01:27:47,959
Try me, Doctor.
1532
01:27:47,996 --> 01:27:49,696
Yes.
I could try you.
1533
01:27:50,899 --> 01:27:52,699
[ Heartbeat Sound ]
1534
01:27:56,672 --> 01:27:58,742
Oh, my God!
1535
01:27:58,774 --> 01:27:59,714
You, too.
1536
01:28:00,743 --> 01:28:02,853
[ Ding! Ding! Ding! ]
1537
01:28:04,980 --> 01:28:07,950
[ Beep! Beep!
Beep! Beep! ]
1538
01:28:07,983 --> 01:28:09,453
It's my beeper!
1539
01:28:09,485 --> 01:28:12,415
No. My beeper's never
done this before.
1540
01:28:12,455 --> 01:28:14,315
[ Ring ]
Get the phone.
1541
01:28:14,357 --> 01:28:15,457
What phone,
doctor?
1542
01:28:18,594 --> 01:28:19,964
Hello?
1543
01:28:19,995 --> 01:28:23,095
Doctor, I'm afraid
you must be
hearing things.
1544
01:28:23,131 --> 01:28:24,401
[ Ruff Ruff Ruff ]
1545
01:28:25,601 --> 01:28:27,871
Yodel-aydi...
[ Neigh ]
1546
01:28:27,903 --> 01:28:29,103
Yodel-ay-hee-hoo!
1547
01:28:29,137 --> 01:28:30,967
Is there something
wrong, Doctor?
1548
01:28:31,006 --> 01:28:33,776
Oh, hello, Doctor.
Should I call you
a doctor, Doctor?
1549
01:28:33,809 --> 01:28:36,779
Make it stop!
1550
01:28:36,812 --> 01:28:41,352
I can't stand it.
[ Ring ]
1551
01:28:41,384 --> 01:28:43,454
[ Thud, Ring ]
1552
01:28:43,486 --> 01:28:45,586
[ Thud, Ring ]
1553
01:28:45,621 --> 01:28:46,921
[ Thud, Thud ]
1554
01:28:46,955 --> 01:28:47,755
[ Thud, Thud ]
1555
01:28:47,790 --> 01:28:49,930
[ Thud, Thud ]
1556
01:28:50,959 --> 01:28:53,359
You guys,
you came this close
1557
01:28:53,396 --> 01:28:55,726
to being
a science project.
1558
01:28:55,764 --> 01:28:56,974
Come on.
1559
01:28:56,999 --> 01:28:58,769
Ted's car! Follow me.
1560
01:29:01,136 --> 01:29:03,736
Quick! Get in quick!
1561
01:29:03,772 --> 01:29:07,112
Oh! Oh, God!
Here comes Ted!
1562
01:29:07,142 --> 01:29:08,612
Hide!
Get down and hide.
1563
01:29:12,948 --> 01:29:14,148
Valerie?
1564
01:29:14,182 --> 01:29:16,122
Sweetheart, I'm
so glad to see you.
1565
01:29:16,151 --> 01:29:17,621
Can we go home?
1566
01:29:17,653 --> 01:29:21,393
These last two days
have been hell.
1567
01:29:21,424 --> 01:29:24,464
Sweetheart, I actually think
I've been hearing things.
1568
01:29:24,493 --> 01:29:26,633
Oh, Val,
could you drive?
1569
01:29:26,662 --> 01:29:27,802
Please, Valerie.
1570
01:29:27,830 --> 01:29:29,900
OK, Ted.
Here.
1571
01:29:29,932 --> 01:29:31,502
Get in, honey.
1572
01:29:31,534 --> 01:29:33,444
I'm exhausted.
1573
01:29:33,469 --> 01:29:35,839
I thought
about what you said.
1574
01:29:35,871 --> 01:29:38,641
I've decided
to do something impulsive.
1575
01:29:38,674 --> 01:29:40,744
Let's go to Vegas tonight
and get married.
1576
01:29:40,776 --> 01:29:42,476
Tonight?
1577
01:29:42,511 --> 01:29:45,711
What about the church
and my dress?
1578
01:29:45,748 --> 01:29:48,918
We can do the big
church wedding later.
1579
01:29:48,951 --> 01:29:50,851
Well...
1580
01:29:50,886 --> 01:29:52,886
what do you say?
1581
01:29:52,921 --> 01:29:55,791
I don't know...
I'm just so surprised.
1582
01:29:55,824 --> 01:29:57,764
Come on.
You wanted surprises.
1583
01:29:59,562 --> 01:30:01,132
Ted.
1584
01:30:01,163 --> 01:30:05,033
[ Love Story Theme Plays ]
1585
01:30:22,150 --> 01:30:24,120
You got to bring
1586
01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:26,122
that one-piece
night thing,
1587
01:30:26,154 --> 01:30:27,724
that, uh, corset
1588
01:30:27,756 --> 01:30:30,086
that looks
like underwear.
1589
01:30:39,067 --> 01:30:42,867
What is it now?
Something old...
1590
01:30:42,905 --> 01:30:45,105
Oh! These pantyhose
are old.
1591
01:30:45,140 --> 01:30:47,140
Something new.
1592
01:30:47,175 --> 01:30:49,575
This veil is new.
1593
01:30:51,213 --> 01:30:52,723
Dr. Tushman, please.
1594
01:30:54,783 --> 01:30:56,493
Hey, Barbara, Ted here.
1595
01:30:56,519 --> 01:30:59,249
Listen, uh, I need
a really big favor.
1596
01:30:59,287 --> 01:31:00,887
I want you
to cover my shift
1597
01:31:00,923 --> 01:31:04,663
at the hospital tomorrow.
I'm going to Vegas.
1598
01:31:04,693 --> 01:31:06,663
Well, I'm going to...
1599
01:31:06,695 --> 01:31:09,695
lose a little money,
take in a show,
1600
01:31:09,732 --> 01:31:11,102
and get married.
1601
01:31:11,133 --> 01:31:15,773
Barbara.
Barbara--
1602
01:31:15,804 --> 01:31:18,114
Look, just because
I'm getting married
1603
01:31:18,140 --> 01:31:21,080
doesn't mean we can't date,
all right?
1604
01:31:21,109 --> 01:31:22,909
What?
1605
01:31:30,018 --> 01:31:31,248
[ Speaking Alien Language ]
1606
01:31:35,123 --> 01:31:36,493
Valerie.
1607
01:31:37,993 --> 01:31:39,863
Good-bye.
Bye.
1608
01:31:39,895 --> 01:31:43,565
Nice planet
you have here.
Give Tanya my number.
1609
01:31:43,599 --> 01:31:46,539
Take care, Zeebo.
1610
01:31:47,603 --> 01:31:48,873
Aw, Wiploc.
1611
01:31:48,904 --> 01:31:51,144
I think I'll miss you
least of all.
1612
01:31:51,173 --> 01:31:53,143
You got liplock
for Wiploc?
1613
01:31:55,077 --> 01:31:58,007
Valerie...
1614
01:31:58,046 --> 01:32:00,216
I don't know
the words.
1615
01:32:00,248 --> 01:32:01,178
Oh, Mac.
1616
01:32:01,216 --> 01:32:04,946
I'm going to
miss you so much.
1617
01:32:04,987 --> 01:32:07,257
I'll miss you, too.
1618
01:32:07,289 --> 01:32:10,259
Sweetheart, I booked
the Cave Man Suite
at Cupid's Lodge.
1619
01:32:15,230 --> 01:32:18,000
What the hell
is this?
1620
01:32:18,033 --> 01:32:21,673
OK, Ted,
they're not a band.
1621
01:32:21,704 --> 01:32:23,814
They're from
another planet.
1622
01:32:23,839 --> 01:32:26,709
Go back in the house.
I'll be in soon.
1623
01:32:26,742 --> 01:32:29,142
Oh, my God!
They're aliens.
1624
01:32:29,177 --> 01:32:31,247
Aliens!
Got you covered.
1625
01:32:31,279 --> 01:32:34,819
It's OK.
Ted. Ted. It's OK.
1626
01:32:36,251 --> 01:32:37,721
You're contaminated.
1627
01:32:39,955 --> 01:32:40,915
I--I have
to go now.
1628
01:32:40,956 --> 01:32:43,726
Ted!
I'll call the police.
1629
01:32:43,759 --> 01:32:45,829
I gotta go.
Stop it.
1630
01:32:54,102 --> 01:32:55,272
Good-bye, Valerie.
1631
01:33:13,856 --> 01:33:15,856
Mac!
1632
01:33:15,891 --> 01:33:18,691
It didn't work!
1633
01:33:18,727 --> 01:33:19,827
Mac!
1634
01:33:19,862 --> 01:33:22,162
I have to tell you
something.
1635
01:33:22,197 --> 01:33:24,767
I love you!
Take me with you!
1636
01:33:24,800 --> 01:33:26,740
To Jhazalla?
1637
01:33:26,769 --> 01:33:28,369
Anyplace!
1638
01:33:28,403 --> 01:33:30,643
I am Mr. Right?
1639
01:33:30,673 --> 01:33:32,943
Yes!
Yes!
1640
01:33:39,081 --> 01:33:41,651
Well, uh...
good-bye, Ted.
1641
01:33:41,684 --> 01:33:44,054
Um, I guess
it wasn't meant to be,
1642
01:33:44,086 --> 01:33:46,956
but, uh, I really
want to thank you
1643
01:33:46,989 --> 01:33:50,829
for, um...thanks
for the, uh...
1644
01:33:51,860 --> 01:33:54,300
Good-bye, Ted.
1645
01:33:59,467 --> 01:34:00,737
Mac!
1646
01:34:15,217 --> 01:34:16,217
Mac!
1647
01:34:18,821 --> 01:34:22,091
Wait, you guys!
You can't leave
without Margaritas!
1648
01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:33,168
Valerie,
what are you doing?
1649
01:34:34,102 --> 01:34:36,072
Good-bye, Candy.
I'll miss you.
1650
01:34:36,104 --> 01:34:38,974
Well, good luck, Val.
1651
01:34:39,007 --> 01:34:40,877
Call me.
1652
01:34:44,079 --> 01:34:45,909
[ Meow ]
1653
01:34:45,948 --> 01:34:47,978
Happy trails.
1654
01:34:50,418 --> 01:34:53,488
[ Meow ]
Bambi, I never knew.
1655
01:34:53,521 --> 01:34:55,021
Wait!
1656
01:35:01,496 --> 01:35:04,166
Hey!
1657
01:35:04,199 --> 01:35:06,869
Give my love
to Finland!
1658
01:35:18,046 --> 01:35:21,116
Oh! Oh! Ha ha ha!
1659
01:35:47,843 --> 01:35:50,853
* People all over
the world *
1660
01:35:50,879 --> 01:35:52,379
* Join hands
1661
01:35:52,414 --> 01:35:55,084
* Start a love train,
love train *
1662
01:35:55,117 --> 01:35:57,047
* People all
over the world *
1663
01:35:57,085 --> 01:35:59,045
* All over the world,
join hands *
1664
01:35:59,087 --> 01:36:01,087
* Start a love train
1665
01:36:01,123 --> 01:36:04,433
* Love train, love train
1666
01:36:04,459 --> 01:36:07,859
* First stop
that we'll make *
1667
01:36:07,896 --> 01:36:10,166
* Will be England
1668
01:36:12,300 --> 01:36:14,240
* Tell all the folks
in Russia *
1669
01:36:14,269 --> 01:36:17,039
* And China, too
1670
01:36:17,072 --> 01:36:19,412
* Get on board
1671
01:36:19,441 --> 01:36:22,111
* Don't you know
1672
01:36:22,144 --> 01:36:24,154
* It's time
to get on board *
1673
01:36:24,179 --> 01:36:26,209
* Time to get on board
1674
01:36:26,248 --> 01:36:30,088
* Let the train
keep on ridin' *
1675
01:36:30,118 --> 01:36:32,218
* Ridin' on through
1676
01:36:32,254 --> 01:36:35,224
* Ridin' on through
1677
01:36:35,257 --> 01:36:37,527
* People all over
the world *
1678
01:36:37,559 --> 01:36:38,529
* Join hands
1679
01:36:38,560 --> 01:36:39,830
* Join your hands
1680
01:36:39,862 --> 01:36:40,832
* And start a love train
1681
01:36:40,863 --> 01:36:41,833
* And start a love train
1682
01:36:41,864 --> 01:36:43,034
* Love train
1683
01:36:43,065 --> 01:36:45,465
* People all over
the world *
1684
01:36:45,500 --> 01:36:46,470
* Join hands
1685
01:36:46,501 --> 01:36:47,471
* Everybody
1686
01:36:47,502 --> 01:36:48,472
* Get on the love train
1687
01:36:48,503 --> 01:36:49,943
* Get on the love train
1688
01:36:49,972 --> 01:36:51,172
* Love train
1689
01:36:51,206 --> 01:36:54,406
* All of your brothers
1690
01:36:54,442 --> 01:36:56,212
* Over in Africa
1691
01:36:56,244 --> 01:36:57,284
* Come on now, people
1692
01:36:58,513 --> 01:37:01,453
* Tell all the folks
in Egypt *
1693
01:37:01,483 --> 01:37:04,253
* And Israel, too
1694
01:37:05,620 --> 01:37:10,090
* Please don't miss
this train *
1695
01:37:10,125 --> 01:37:12,155
* At the station
1696
01:37:13,195 --> 01:37:15,495
* 'Cause if you miss it
1697
01:37:15,530 --> 01:37:20,070
* I feel sorry,
sorry for you *
1698
01:37:20,102 --> 01:37:22,372
* Sorry, oh, for you
1699
01:37:22,404 --> 01:37:25,174
* People all over
the world *
1700
01:37:25,207 --> 01:37:26,407
* Join hands
1701
01:37:26,441 --> 01:37:28,481
* Start a love train
1702
01:37:28,510 --> 01:37:29,610
* Love train
1703
01:37:29,644 --> 01:37:31,354
* Start a love train
1704
01:37:31,379 --> 01:37:33,079
* Sisters and brothers
1705
01:37:33,115 --> 01:37:34,245
* Join hands
1706
01:37:34,282 --> 01:37:35,482
* Come on
1707
01:37:35,517 --> 01:37:37,247
* Start the love train
1708
01:37:37,285 --> 01:37:41,355
* Get on board
1709
01:37:51,967 --> 01:37:54,197
* Well, yeah
1710
01:37:54,236 --> 01:37:56,196
* People all over
the world *
1711
01:37:56,238 --> 01:37:57,238
* Join hands
1712
01:37:57,272 --> 01:37:58,272
* Join your hands
1713
01:37:58,306 --> 01:37:59,266
* And start a love train
1714
01:37:59,307 --> 01:38:00,437
* And start a love train
1715
01:38:00,475 --> 01:38:01,505
* Love train
1716
01:38:01,543 --> 01:38:04,153
* People all over
the world *
1717
01:38:04,179 --> 01:38:05,109
* Join hands
1718
01:38:05,147 --> 01:38:06,107
* Everybody
1719
01:38:06,148 --> 01:38:07,118
* Get on the love train
1720
01:38:07,149 --> 01:38:08,149
* Get on the love train
1721
01:38:08,183 --> 01:38:09,123
* Love train
1722
01:38:09,151 --> 01:38:10,351
* Hey
1723
01:38:10,385 --> 01:38:13,555
* First stop
that we'll make *
1724
01:38:13,588 --> 01:38:15,988
* Will be England
1725
01:38:18,293 --> 01:38:20,263
* Tell all the folks
in Russia *
1726
01:38:20,295 --> 01:38:22,655
* And China, too
1727
01:38:22,697 --> 01:38:25,197
* Get on board
1728
01:38:25,233 --> 01:38:27,703
* Don't you know
1729
01:38:27,735 --> 01:38:30,265
* It's time
to get on board *
1730
01:38:30,305 --> 01:38:31,965
* It's time
to get on board *
1731
01:38:32,007 --> 01:38:35,637
* And let this train
keep on ridin' *
1732
01:38:35,677 --> 01:38:38,147
* Ridin' on through
1733
01:38:38,180 --> 01:38:40,650
* Ridin' on through
1734
01:38:40,682 --> 01:38:43,452
* People all over
the world *
1735
01:38:43,485 --> 01:38:44,415
* Join hands
1736
01:38:44,452 --> 01:38:45,452
* Everybody
1737
01:38:45,487 --> 01:38:46,487
* And start a love train
1738
01:38:46,521 --> 01:38:47,521
* Join the love train
1739
01:38:47,555 --> 01:38:48,615
* Love train
1740
01:38:48,656 --> 01:38:51,086
* Come on, come on,
come on, come on *
1741
01:38:51,126 --> 01:38:52,326
* Join hands
1742
01:38:52,360 --> 01:38:53,400
* Everybody
1743
01:38:53,428 --> 01:38:54,958
* Get on the love train
1744
01:38:54,997 --> 01:38:56,157
* Yeah
1745
01:38:56,198 --> 01:39:00,068
* Get on board
1746
01:39:00,102 --> 01:39:02,542
* Get on board
1747
01:39:02,570 --> 01:39:04,310
* Get on board
1748
01:39:04,339 --> 01:39:07,409
* Get on board
1749
01:39:07,442 --> 01:39:08,512
* Hey
1750
01:39:08,543 --> 01:39:10,713
* Get on board
1751
01:39:10,745 --> 01:39:13,345
* Well, yeah
1752
01:39:13,381 --> 01:39:16,621
* New York,
are you in the house? *
1753
01:39:16,651 --> 01:39:20,761
* L.A., are you
in the house? *
1754
01:39:20,788 --> 01:39:24,058
* Motor city,
are you in the house? *
1755
01:39:24,092 --> 01:39:25,062
* Everybody
1756
01:39:25,093 --> 01:39:27,503
* Miami,
are you in the house? *
1757
01:39:27,529 --> 01:39:29,699
* Start a love train
1758
01:39:29,731 --> 01:39:32,071
* All over the world
join hands *
1759
01:39:32,100 --> 01:39:33,040
* Get on
1760
01:39:33,068 --> 01:39:34,098
* Atlanta
1761
01:39:34,136 --> 01:39:35,666
* Get on the love train
1762
01:39:35,703 --> 01:39:37,273
* D.C.
1763
01:39:37,305 --> 01:39:38,635
* All over the world
1764
01:39:38,673 --> 01:39:39,643
* Join hands
1765
01:39:39,674 --> 01:39:40,714
* Everybody
1766
01:39:40,742 --> 01:39:43,012
* Everybody
get on the love train *
1767
01:39:43,045 --> 01:39:44,505
* Get on the love train
1768
01:39:44,546 --> 01:39:46,606
* People all over
the world *
1769
01:39:46,648 --> 01:39:47,778
* Join hands
1770
01:39:47,815 --> 01:39:51,445
* And start a love train,
love train *
1771
01:39:51,486 --> 01:39:52,646
* Everybody
1772
01:39:52,687 --> 01:39:54,487
* People all over
the world *
1773
01:39:54,522 --> 01:39:56,362
* Come on, come on,
come on, come on *
1774
01:39:56,391 --> 01:39:57,631
* Get on the love train
1775
01:39:57,659 --> 01:39:58,689
* Love train
1776
01:39:58,726 --> 01:40:00,156
* Come on, people, now
1777
01:40:00,195 --> 01:40:02,125
* People all over
the world *
1778
01:40:02,164 --> 01:40:04,104
* Join hands
1779
01:40:04,132 --> 01:40:07,142
* And start a love train,
love train *
1780
01:40:07,169 --> 01:40:08,439
* All over the world
1781
01:40:08,470 --> 01:40:10,110
* People all over
the world *
1782
01:40:10,138 --> 01:40:11,138
* Join hands
1783
01:40:11,173 --> 01:40:13,683
* Come on, boys and girls,
join the love train *
1784
01:40:13,708 --> 01:40:14,738
* Love train
1785
01:40:14,776 --> 01:40:16,106
* Don't need no ticket *
109168
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