All language subtitles for Cop and A Half New Recruit

(SIRENS BLARING)

KARINA:
As any officer knows,

the key to good police work
is knowing your beat.

(CAMERA CLICKS)

I work the mean streets
of Darville Middle School.

It might look
like a harmless mix

of acne
and mind-numbing textbooks,

but to
my highly-trained eyes,

this is a hub of
nefarious activity,

and it must be patrolled.

Today's case
involves a cyber-bully,

screen name "Gewelz,"

who's been making not-so-nice
comments on social media pages.

I have a pretty
good idea who it is,

but I still need
to prove it.

Buenos nachos,
Mr. Alverez.

Just studying our Spanish.

Vaya con burritos.

(GROANS)

Got the suspect in sight.
Pretending to be studying. Over.

Look at this girl.

Is that a pimple
or a volcano?

(ALL LAUGHING)

(SIGHS) Classic line.
Gotta post it.

Suspect is about
to commit the crime.

As soon as the post is
complete, I'll make the bust.

Over.
(SIGHS)

We're on the phone, K.

You don't have to
keep saying "over."

"Is that a pimple or a..."

How do you spell "volcano"?

Gotcha.

Cyber-bullying is a crime,
and you're busted.

I don't know what
you're talking about.

I think you do,
Gewelz with a "G."

(GASPS) Yeah, well,
your screen name should be

"New Girl Who Everybody
Thinks is a Total Weirdo."

(GIGGLES)

You really took me down. I don't
know how I'm coming back from that.

I mean,
I guess I could just...

(CHIMES)

...delete your account.

Two thousand pictures, and, not
surprisingly, all of them of you.

Poof! Gone.

You hacked me?

I wouldn't
really call it a hack.

I mean, "Farrah1!"
as your password?

Whoa, whoa,
whoa, wait.

Before you do whatever
you're about to do,

let me just say
two words.

Look out!

(GASPS THEN SIGHS
IN RELIEF)

Nice try.

(GASPS)
BOY: Sorry, Farrah.

That was lucky.

You're so over!

Excuse me!
Pardon! On your left!

(YELLS)

KARINA: I knew
there would be danger.

But there's nothing sweeter than
serving up justice in an unjust world.

My name is Karina Foley.

(BRAKES SQUEALING)

(CRASHING)

(GROANS)

(STUDENTS LAUGHING)

KARINA: And I'm a cop.

You're not a cop!

You're a 12-year-old girl
with an overactive imagination

and 200 bucks in
janitorial fees.

Then why'd you make me hall monitor?
I didn't!

You made
that sash yourself!

Oh, really?

(CLICKS)

KARINA: Principal Miller,
can I be the hall monitor?

MILLER: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Now, run along, young man.

You recorded me?

I record everything.
It's good technique.

Well, don't!

I hate the sound
of my own voice.

I won't even make
the morning announcements

if I don't have my
smooth-jazz modulator.

Today, the lunch special
will be sloppyjoes.

(ECHOING)

See?

Sir, if you would just review the
video evidence, everything...

You can review it yourself,
after school, in detention.

KARINA: Yup,
it's a thankless job.

But there are bad people out
there doing bad things,

and somebody's gotta
catch 'em.

(TIRES SCREECHES)

Very tight-lipped...

WOMAN: Police have now...

Excuse me,
pardon me, excuse me.

What do we got?

Well, librarian showed up this
morning, saw the place was trashed,

heard some strange noises
inside, called 911.

So, what are we doing
out here?

Captain called the SWAT team.
They're on the way.

SWAT, for a library vandal?

She thinks
this could be our guy.

The Badge Bandit?

It's the fifth city building he's
hit this month. Do the math.

He never even leaves
a fingerprint.

This guy's a ghost. He's a phantom.
He's a zombie.

No, he can't be a zombie.
They got fingerprints.

Right.

That's some top-notch
police work, O'Leary.

Well, if we have him trapped
now, why are we waiting?

We got it covered,
Simmons.

(VEHICLE APPROACHING)

Great. All we need.

(LOUD BANG)

You two wait out here.

Uh, the Captain said...
Hey!

It wasn't locked.

(SIRENS BLARING IN DISTANCE)

Captain Novack. Captain.

Can you explain to us why someone
would launch a crime spree

targeting municipal sites?

I mean, last week, all the city's
pools were filled with hot sauce,

and the week before that,

all the city's hot sauce packets
were filled with pool water.

Crime spree is
a very strong phrase.

(SILLY STRINGS SHOOTS)

What the...

(VENT THUDS)

(READING)

"While you chase your tails,
I am laughing at you."

(TICKING)

(TICKING CONTINUES)

(DINGS)
Oh, no.

What we are dealing with here is
nothing more than a prankster,

someone who is being
apprehended as we speak

by one of the city's
finest police officers.

(SIMMONS SCREAMS)

(CROWD GASPS)

(CAMERAS CLICKING)

(CROWD MURMURING)

For those of you who've missed the
many Channel 5 special reports,

we now have multiple crime
scenes at city-owned locations.

Garbage truck Jenga
at City Sanitarium.

Toilet paper on
the City Power Plant.

Upside-down furniture
at the City Driving Center.

And a polka-dot paint job
for the City Fire Hall.

No forced entry, no DNA,
no clues whatsoever.

Except that our perpetrator
likes to leave us one of these.

And a little poem
mocking the police.

That's us.

(ALL LAUGHING)

(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

That'll suffice, Oliver.

Now we have
a nutcase out there

who thinks that he is
a comic book villain,

and we have to catch this
so-called "Badge Bandit"

before the Harvest Valley
Festival kicks off next week.

The last thing
this city needs

is panic on the biggest
weekend of the year.

Got it?

Dismissed.

You disobeyed a direct order and
went running into that scene

like a teen girl at
a boy-band concert.

I was following
my instincts.

Well, your instincts don't exactly
have a great track record.

Our suspect got away

and made us look like fools
in front of the press.

I can get this guy, Cap.

I want you to work
the police-badge angle.

Somebody's mad
at the system.

Go through all the convicts that have
been released from the local prison

over the last five years,
and see if anything sticks.

You've already got guys
doing that.

And now I have one more.

(SIGHS)

(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

"Leyden Industries."

KARINA: As the new kid
in this jurisdiction,

I need to bring down a bigger offender
than Farrah to prove my merit.

But other than gum girl
breaking the laws of chewing,

I'm not gonna find
any real action in here.

(SIGHS)

Wait a minute.

Maybe I spoke too soon.

(INHALES SHARPLY) Hmm.

Whoa. It's a stakeout.

(BELL RINGS)

See? He's still there.

Who?
Cop on a stakeout.

How do you know?
Bobby C,

if you want
to be my deputy,

you're gonna have to brush up on
your law-enforcement instincts.

I don't want to be
your deputy.

I get scared
watching cop shows on TV.

Let's check it out.
Negative.

If it is a cop,

the last thing he wants
is you sniffing around.

And if that isn't a cop,

then look at him.

That's one
creepy-looking dude.

Anyway, I gotta get home. My mom
doesn't like me out after dark.

It's 4:00
in the afternoon.

Yeah. Cuttin' it close.

Hi.
Hey!

Ah!

May I be
of assistance, Officer?

Move along, little girl,

and I would advise you not to
approach strangers in cars.

How's your back feeling?
Pretty stiff, I'd guess.

And you should
really consider

upgrading your stakeout
nutrition plan.

I mean, fast food is the perfect
recipe for constipation.

Listen, kid,

I'm not on a stakeout
and I'm not a cop,

so get out of here before I
call the real ones on you.

Give me a break. You're driving
a Crown Vic with steelies.

You may as well have a light
bar and municipal plates.

Oh, real mature.

Whatcha casing?

Bet it's that building
over there.

I pass it every day
on my way to school,

and I always wondered
about it.

I know you can hear me.

It's not like that's
bulletproof glass or anything.

Speaking of,
are you wearing a vest?

Hard to tell. You may
just be a little poochy.

Go get 'em, Officer. Should
I keep watch out here?

You should go home!

KARINA: Tell you what,
I'll circle around back.

You take the entrance.

I've got
your flank covered.

(READING)

MATTHEWS: Move and you're dead!
O'LEARY: Hands in the air!

MATTHEWS: How's he supposed
to put his hands in the air

when I told him
not to move?

O'LEARY: Well, tell him
you take it back.

What are you clowns
doing here?

Simmons.

We got a call about a homeless
guy kicking in the door.

Do I look like
a homeless guy?

"I now have
the power." Power.

Who in this town
has power?

A power lifter?
Maybe a bodybuilder.

MMA guy.
Electrician, ranger.

A Power Ranger.

Yes.

(SIMMONS WHISTLES)

Hey, didn't the Captain tell
you to work from your desk?

What can I say?

I couldn't resist seeing
you two heroes in action.

(GLASS SHATTERS)

Hey, little guy.

Say "cheese."

Hey!

(STAMMERS) Wait.

Before you do
whatever you're about to do,

let me just say two words.

Look out!

Smart tech.

(DRONE POWERS DOWN)

(SPUTTERING)

(SPUTTERING STOPS)

Now, that's what
I'm talkin' about.

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

Official police business.
Nothing to see here.

Weirdo.

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

You've had
quite the day, Detective.

Would you like to tell me what
you were doing at that building?

Following a lead.

A lead which you didn't share
with anyone else.

And, as it turns out,

a lead that's gonna cost you
another front door.

I found a bunch of these.

Leyden Industries makes
batteries, totally legit.

And it's not
a city-owned building

like the other
Badge Bandit targets.

So, what's the connection?

I would try to find out,
but I am sitting here

getting scolded
in a very small chair.

That's intentional, right,
the very small chair?

The Mayor is watching
closely how we handle this.

So, I think we need some fresh eyes
on this until things calm down.

Until you calm down.

Matthews, O'Leary.

These two? Come on.

I am giving them
the lead on this for now,

and you can monitor things
from your desk.

In case you were
gonna kick it down.

(CRACKS NECK)

(LAUGHS MOCKINGLY)

(CLEARS THROAT)

Just keeping it warm for
you, Detective Simmons.

How do you know my name?

Well,

you're not exactly
a closed book.

Look, pipsqueak, I don't
know who you are or...

Karina Foley, Hall Monitor,
Darville Middle School.

Wait, did you actually
just say "pipsqueak"?

Whoever you are,

please go home
and never come here again.

I am in no mood
to be bothered.

Big case, huh?
Goodbye.

Wait a second.

Are you on the big case?

The Badge Bandit?

The guy who set off
stink bombs

in all the city buses without
a single person spotting him?

Is this the file?

Suit yourself.

Guess I'll just pursue
this big lead on my own.

Yeah, good,
you do that.

I would break
this case wide open.

Right, you betcha.

10-4, Officer.

Over and out.

Okay!

Okay,
what's the big lead?

Make yourself at home.

I saw it fly out of the window
of that building you were in.

Drones.

That's how he escaped
from the library.

He was never there
in the first place.

He gets drones to do
his dirty work.

But why would he be interested
in high-tech batteries?

That's what
we gotta find out.

Yeah.

Wait a second.

Where did... How did...

I was recording it.

It pursued me,
so I took it out.

You took it out?

After it took a shot at me.

It took a shot at you?

Turns out these things
are armed.

(EXHALES DEEPLY)

Okay, listen, I admit you got a
couple of things right out there,

but I don't need
an overeager kid

interfering with my case,
you understand?

Yeah.

Do you understand?

Yes.

All right.

It's getting late.
I'm driving you home.

And I need to hold onto that, okay?
I know.

Come on.

KARINA: You mind
letting me out here?

Just something about getting
dropped off by the police.

You mean in my obvious,
unmarked squad car?

If the neighbors think
I'm a dangerous criminal,

I might get scratched off
their pool-party invite list.

So, hey, uh...

Keep up the good work monitoring
those middle school halls, okay?

Mom, I'm home!

SARAH: I'll be down
in a minute.

Wash up for dinner.
And can you feed Lucy?

KARINA: Yup. I'm on it!

Lucy, dinner!

Lucy?

(BARKING)

There you are.

(BARKING CONTINUES)

(BARKING RAPIDLY)

(LUCY WHINES)

Lucy.

(WHINES)

You're lucky
you're so darned cute.

So, this mom comes into the
ER today with her son,

who has lodged
M&Ms up his nose...

Plain or peanut?

That's what I said.

Anyway, there's
this gaggle of doctors

trying to figure out
which tweezers to use

and whether or not they
should sedate the poor kid,

because he is
screaming hysterically.

So, just as they're
about to book the OR,

I come running in
with my hair dryer,

and I melt the chocolate mess right
out of his nose in about 30 seconds.

Brilliant, Mom.

Like you always say, "Don't panic.
Just work the problem."

You got it, kiddo.

So, what about you?

Anything exciting happen
in your world today?

Nah, just an average day
of middle school shenanigans.

Right, "average day."

(KISSES)
Good night, munchkin.

What happened to this guy?

Every picture tells a story.

There's gotta be
something here.

No markings,
no serial numbers.

No etchings, no nothing.

(SIGHS)

Sooner or later, you're
gonna make a mistake.

KARINA: And when you do,

I'm gonna be there.

(VIDEO GAME PLAYING)

Got you this time.

ANNOUNCER: Car 55 makes its move
and wins the Need for Speed Championship.

Still undefeated.

Now, that's what
I'm talkin' about.

ANNOUNCER: Press play to race again.
(EXHALES)

Uh-oh. I know that look.

Listen up, K.

My advice is to stay as far
away from that cop as possible.

You sound like my mom.

You told her about this?
Heck, no.

She has a hard enough time
with my hall monitor gig.

Can you imagine what she'd
do if she saw this?

KARINA: Hey!

Whoa! I can't believe
you got this on camera.

Camera?

Camera.

MAYOR: (ON TV) While we
at City Hall acknowledge

that certain alleged
criminal shenanigans

may be causing some
hypothetical unrest,

let me just say this.

Even a broken clock
is right twice a day.

Rest assured, our police
force will restore

full order
before the weekend.

This is Mayor Marsh

looking forward to seeing you
at the Harvest Valley Festival.

(PHONE BEEPS)

(PHONE BEEPS)

(GASPS)

Quit doing that!

How did you know
where to find me?

And why do you look
like you just rolled out

of a low-budget
buddy cop movie?

To answer
your first question,

common police procedure,
called "deductive reasoning."

I saw the coffee cups
from this place on your dash

and on your desk yesterday.

As for your
second question,

this is my undercover outfit, so
no one suspects I'm on the case.

Yeah,
that's pretty inconspicuous.

So, do you normally take valuable
evidence out for breakfast?

I'm not exactly
on this case right now.

Goin' rogue. Love it!

Do you normally just skip
school whenever you want to?

Obscure school holiday
today called

(WHISPERS) Saturday.

But us dedicated detectives never
take a day off, am I right?

Anyway, I don't get it.

This thing just looks
like a kid's toy to me.

Carbon-fiber blades, composite
body, maybe some Kevlar.

This is no kid's toy.

How do you know
about all that stuff?

How do you not?

I'm a little resistant
to technology.

I'm not one to let gadgets
take over my life.

Noticed your flip phone.

(CHUCKLES)
I think you're safe.

No, I already checked.
No slot, no memory card.

Yeah, but most of these cameras
have a built-in memory.

A tiny hard drive
that might...

A-ha!

(CLICKS)

This must be the drone's last known
flight path. (DRONE BUZZING)

How did... Killer tech
program at my school.

You should meet my science
teacher, Miss McKean.

She's crazy smart
and actually pretty cute.

If you're looking.
I'm not.

So, are you married, dating?

Divorced.

Imagine that.

(CLICKING)
(DRONE BUZZING)

KARINA: I don't recognize
any of this.

I do.

It's the old
industrial district.

Good work, kid.
Now, go home.

Get out of the car, kid!

But I found you this lead. Out.

(SIGHS)

(BARKING)

Uber?

Old industrial district.

(MACHINERIES HISSING)

(BOTH SCREAM)

Come on!
What did I say?

And what did I say?

This is my lead.

If I hadn't texted you,

you'd be doing
whatever it is you do

after your greasy, artery-choked
breakfast, like...

Shaving, maybe?

Give me that.

How did you even
get my phone number?

There's this new invention
called the Internet.

It's super-cool,
has all kinds of information.

Saw your Boy Scout photo
by the way.

You made Tenderfoot.

Do you hear that?

Hold this.

(SIGHS)

Tired of paying
for doors.

Learn that at the Academy?

Boy Scouts.

Now, for the last time,
get outta here.

Jackpot.

(SIGHS)

I thought I told you
to get out of here.

(KARINA GASPS)

Hey, what's the deal?

Someone's watching us.

Think it's the perp?

Don't say "perp."
It sounds ridiculous.

I'm gonna go
check it out.

Don't move.

(CONVEYOR BELTS BEEPING)

Move! Move! Move!

(BOTH PANTING)

When I do what
I'm about to do,

you run as fast as you can
for that loading dock, okay?

What are you about to do?

Whoo-hoo! Whoo-hoo!

Hey! Hey! Right here! Hey!
Over here! Right here!

(SCREAMS)

(GASPS)

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS) Ow! Ow, ow.

Detective!

Get out! Now!

Come on, hurry!

(GRUNTING)

(BOTH PANTING)

Why are you running
like that?

Do you always run
like that?

The lasers zapped my arms.
I can't feel them.

Phew! Because if you always
ran like that,

and I was, like,
the first person

to tell you it was strange...

Stop talking.

(GRUNTS)

Let me get that for ya.

(YELLS)

(SEATBELT CLICKS)
Yeah.

You better let me drive.

You can't drive,
you're eight.

I'm 12.

And you haven't seen me play
Need for Speed.

Don't panic.

Work the problem.

What are you doing?

I can't drive,
and you can't drive,

but we can drive.

Hit it!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

We're in reverse!

What do you expect?
I'm 12!

Turn the wheel!

(BOTH SCREAMING)

All this
from video games?

Yeah. They're pretty
realistic these days.

I mean, I'm not saying
I could land a fighter jet

on an aircraft carrier
or anything, but...

You know, I probably could.

They're gaining on us.

Got an idea.

Hard right!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

And brakes! Now!

Got 'em.

Well done, kid. I guess.

Did you just smile?

I think you just smiled.

(LAUGHING)

I think the feeling
is starting to come back.

Thanks for saving
my life back there.

So, you gotta admit,
I'm a part of this now.

We're totally partners.

We're not partners.

I'm probably going to need
a badge and a gun.

So, back to HQ, right?

Karina.

I'm the adult here, okay?

I'm the one who gets to
decide where we go next.

Okay, but you should
go left here.

We gotta go back
to the station.

Download them on everything
that's been happening.

That is exactly
what I am going to do.

You, I'm going to leave
with your parents,

fill them in on
what's been going on.

It's just my mom.

My dad died.

He was a cop.

I'm sorry,
I didn't know.

I was pretty young. I only
remember bits and pieces of him.

My mom said
he wanted me to have this.

Looks like the one I had
when I was in uniform.

I take it with me
most of the time.

I mean, it's not like
I'd ever use it.

I just like having
a part of him close to me.

So, that's why
you want to be a cop?

It's in my blood.

Anyway, we should probably turn
around and head for the station.

Negative.

Fine. Then I won't share the
evidence I picked up back there

while you were playing
patty-cake with those drones.

What evidence?

Oh. I don't have anything.

What? How could you
lie to me?

Well, you wouldn't have
brought me here otherwise.

That's exactly my...
CAPTAIN: Simmons!

The Captain is a woman?
Love that.

I assume
there's a good reason

why you have brought a child
into the middle of our bullpen.

Good reason? Nope, I
don't have one of those.

I'm his new partner.

CAPTAIN: In my office, now.

And bring your
new partner with you.

She's not my partner.
Yes, she is.

Listen, I'm not supposed to be
active on this case, remember?

So, she's gonna be
a little edgy.

Don't worry.
We made such a big break.

She's gonna love it.

And if all else fails, we'll
give her our cute faces.

See?

Okay, now let's see yours.

Any time, Detective.

Well, uh...

Detective Simmons
and I are working

the Badge Bandit
case together.

Is that right?
Actually, we're not.

Turns out this perp has
been committing the crimes

with next-generation,
souped-up drones.

Drones?

Mmm-hmm.

No forced entry, no fingerprints,
able to access tight spaces.

Right.

So, this morning,
I followed a lead that

turned up a secret
manufacturing facility,

where I found a dozen of those machines...
(CLEARING THROAT)

I think
you meant to say "we."

Actually, I didn't.

Well, go ahead.

Ask him where
he got the lead.

What is the most important
thing is that I... We.

...might have gotten a glimpse
of someone on the scene

who could be our suspect, but
before I could question him, I...

We got into a gnarly scrape
with a bunch of those drones,

and Detective Simmons went
full-on superhero mode,

took a couple
laser zaps for me...

And came straight here
to fill you in.

You didn't tell her
the best part.

I think she's heard plenty.
CAPTAIN: No.

No, sweetie,
I'd love to hear more.

I drove.

The squad car?

Yeah. Well, sort of. It was
more of a team effort.

So, anyway, the drones
were hot on our tail,

so we threw some evasive
maneuvers at them and lost 'em.

It was totally superb.
Right, partner?

(EXHALES) Right, well...

I'm gonna get a team out there
to check the warehouse.

What about me?

You can't tell me that I haven't
earned my way back on this case.

Not only are you not
back on this case,

you are suspended.
What?

This is the third time you
have disobeyed a direct order,

and you somehow managed to
endanger a minor in the process.

Hand them over.

(SIGHS)

Now, I would like you
to escort

this fine young lady
back to her home,

and if I need anything more
from you, I'll call the diner.

(WHISPERS) Cute face.

Matthews, O'Leary!

Gear up! We're gonna go
check out that warehouse!

MATTHEWS: We're so on it!
O'LEARY: We're so on it!

Oh, God.

Maybe we should
sneak back out there.

If they squeeze the perp from the
warehouse, we'll be there to grab him.

Would you quit
saying "perp"?

It's short
for "perpetrator."

Anyway, they're not
gonna find anything.

This guy's too smart for that.
He's long gone by now.

Now, you heard the Captain, young lady.
I'm escorting you home.

But first, we need
to check on something.

Wait, but you just said
you were...

I get it now.

I need you to talk to our tech
specialist, Oliver, for me,

because I don't speak nerd.

You know, when you're
asking for help,

you could be a little more...
What's the word? Nice.

(COMPUTER BEEPING)
(CLEARS THROAT)

Oh. Hey, so I ran some tests on
that battery that you gave me,

and the ampere capacity
is insane.

Like, how much, 500, 600?

Try 25,000.

Whoa!

Might have to translate.
(WHISPERS) Flip phone.

Uh, the idea is that capacity
for a cell this size

is usually measured
in hours.

This one would be measured in days.
Or weeks.

All that from
a little battery?

Small, but very potent.

Like me.

Even the best consumer drones can
only fly for 10, maybe 15 minutes.

A drone with this much power could stay
aloft indefinitely without recharging.

With an energy source
this size,

the speed
would be ridonkulous.

Plus, those mini-laser weapons would
have the power to melt steel.

This is
military-grade stuff.

More range,
more power.

CAPTAIN: (ON RADIO) Okay, everyone,
stand by. Keep a look out.

More damage.

This guy is planning
something bigger.

CAPTAIN: The warehouse
is totally clean.

No drones,
no humans, no nothing.

You were right,
but now what?

He and his drones
could be anywhere.

And we have no way
to track them.

I have a way to track them.

(YELPS)
I hate these things!

(SIGHS)

What did you mean
back there about

having ways to
track the drones?

I'm about to show you
some real police work.

No cameras, no gadgets,
no hard drives

that make scary
whirring noises.

We're going old school.

Cops today rely too much
on technology.

It's put a void between the
citizens and the police.

Before computers, we had
to be out on the streets.

Among the people, taking
the pulse of the city.

When it comes down to it, good police
work is all about relationships.

What's shakin', Detective?

You know that guy?

Listen up, gentlemen,
for the next three minutes,

Slim-Mart havin' a "Do Not Ask
Where It Come From" sale.

I got all the best. Genuine
Gucci, Tory Burch, Coach.

That looks like a hustle.

I bet it's all counterfeit.

Hey, Slim,
how's business?

Detective Simmons.
My man.

It just me, or the rookies getting
younger and younger all the time?

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(CLEARS THROAT)

I could use
a little information, Slim.

And Slim needs to write seven
alimony checks by Saturday.

(GRUNTS)
You like this one?

Absolutely not.

We'll take it.

You know anything about a psycho
who likes to play with drones?

Oh, Slim know
lots of psychos,

but what the heck's
a drone?

An unmanned,
video-piloted quadcopter.

Slim don't know
nothin' 'bout that,

but Slim will toss some stones
into the water, see what ripples.

You're not gonna arrest him?
For what?

Peddling counterfeit goods,
selling without a permit,

referring to himself
in the third person?

You gotta pick
your battles, kid.

Slim has got connections
that the cops don't.

If someone is making
souped-up drones,

that someone might
need guys to help him.

Guys who Slim might
associate with.

Slim was definitely shady.

Whatever.
I can't accept that.

There's nothing illegal
about that bag.

Uh, it's
totally counterfeit.

Look a little closer.

"Coach" is not spelled
with a "K."

Something just isn't
sitting right.

It's that
disgusting food you eat.

Even my dog, Lucy,
would turn her butt to that.

I mean, the Badge Bandit's been running
the department in circles for weeks.

He's always
one step ahead of us,

like he knows what we're
gonna do before we do it.

You know what
my dad would say?

Sometimes the most obvious
answer is the right one.

So, who would know that much
about police procedure?

An ex-cop would know exactly
how to stage a crime scene.

Interesting theory.

Sure you don't want a bite? Ew!

Processed food can lead
to high cholesterol,

high blood pressure,
chronic grumpiness...

I don't worry about it.

What about your
close family and friends?

Don't have any.

I researched you online.

You were a rock-star cop,

all kinds of accolades
and awards.

What changed?

It was one case.

You've been gone all day. Won't
your mother be getting worried?

I texted her to
let her know I was okay.

Texting, right.

(PHONE BEEPING)

See? You like it.

I know, you should
totally get a phone

that doesn't have the word "flip"
in it, and we should FaceTime.

"FaceTime"?
It's like a video chat

where you can talk
while looking at each other.

Isn't that what
we're doing right now?

(GROANS)

(ALARM BLARING)

MAN: Oh, it smells terrible.

Oh... Oh...

I'm a cop.
What's going on?

(PANTING) They exploded.

Every toilet in the building.

Please. You have to do
something, Officer. Please.

WOMAN: Oh, no. Gosh.

(SIMMONS READING)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(CONTINUES READING)

(SIGHS) City Hall.

This guy is getting brash.

(SIRENS BLARING)

Come on.

Karina, you're a good kid
with great instincts.

Your dad would be proud.

But things are escalating,

and I can't have you
getting hurt.

You understand?

Oh.

Okay.

Almost forgot.
Found something of yours.

You found that?

Pretty crafty.

Exactly how much
have you shared with

your mother about
this whole adventure?

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) Well,
just sort of bits and pieces.

You know, just like little
nuggets here and there.

You haven't told her anything.
No.

I'm going to have to
speak with her.

Wait, wait, wait.
No. Wait, wait.

(PANTING)

Ah! Dang it!

Maybe

you could say I signed up
for a ride-along program.

The Counterfeit
Handbag Task Force.

Nothing dangerous.
Karina.

Oh. Uh...

Hi, ma'am.

(SIMMONS STAMMERING)

Mom, this is
Detective Simmons.

Oh, no. What did she do?

Oh. Uh...

Nothing. (CHUCKLES)
No, no, no, no, no.

(SCOFFS)
She's not in trouble.

Actually, she's, uh...

She's great.

I'm sorry, I was just
on the treadmill.

Oh, no,
you look really good.

I mean, uh...

Exercise, uh,
that's really good.

(CHUCKLES)

So, I'm assuming
there's a reason

my daughter was brought home
by a police officer?

Counterfeit Handbag
Task Force.

Karina.
Karina.

Actually, she came upon
an investigation

that was
just unfolding, and...

Let me guess,
she offered assistance?

That she did.
He needed it.

(SING-SONG) Karina.

May I speak with Detective
Simmons in private, please?

You and I will have
our own chat later.

Thank you.

So, did she tell you
about her father?

She did.

I can't tell you
how sorry I am.

She's a carbon copy
of him.

She's just got it in her mind
this is what she wants to do.

I have to say,
she has some natural talent.

Just promise me, if she shows
up, and she probably will,

you'll keep her
out of trouble.

I promise.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

Simmons.
Hi, partner.

Hi, yourself.

I just wanted to say thanks for not
mentioning the zapping drones,

car chases
and all that stuff.

Well, no need to
upset your mom more

now that you're done
with all this, right?

Right, Karina?

Yeah, I promise.
Good.

You can still be my unofficial
consultant in all of this.

I can keep you posted
on any new developments.

Text me the updates.

Right.

Did you just smile?

It sounded like
you just smiled.

I'd be able to see it if you
had a phone from this century.

Good night, Karina.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

I said good night already.

DISTORTED VOICE: But we have
so much to talk about, Detective.

I thought it might be time
for me to say hello,

since we didn't have a formal
introduction at the warehouse.

Nice investigative work,
by the way.

You seem to be
the only one capable

of following
the breadcrumbs I've left

for your
pathetic police force.

Don't you mean
our police force, pal?

Such irony.
We could have been pals.

I would have
liked that very much.

But it looks like
our paths are destined

to collide
in a much different way.

We're onto you.

It's only a matter of time,
you know that, don't you?

You're only as close as I'm
allowing you to get, Detective.

I could end this game
anytime with one click.

Over here!

The Badge Bandit
was one of us.

I don't listen to random theories
from suspended officers.

He just called me.

This is a wild goose chase.

Everyone who used to be a cop here
is either retired, in their 80s,

or moved to another state.

Keep digging.
All of you, keep digging.

zero in on the guys who got
fired or who left disgruntled.

Anyone with an ax to grind.

Man, I haven't seen
so many cops in one place

since we put on that talent
show at the Academy.

The Academy.
What is it, Simmons?

What if it's not an ex-cop,
but a wannabe cop?

Somebody who wanted to be on
the force but never made it.

That would certainly be
grounds for a vendetta.

Matthews, O'Leary, get me a
list of all police recruits

that did not make the cut
in the past 15 years.

We don't keep
those files here.

We'd have to access
the Academy database.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS) I really wish
you guys would just

take the computer classes
that I offered.

All right, I'm in.

Hold it. Why is that picture
all distorted?

It's like someone
messed with the file.

Why would
a civilian recruit

wear a full uniform
for his application pic?

I think that's
a Halloween costume.

The name is Wendell Dewey.

Failed his psych eval,
antisocial personality disorder.

Can you unblur
the picture?

I could try to run some facial
recognition software on this,

but it's just
a beta program.

It could take a while
with an image this bad.

I have no clue what you just
said, but make it happen.

In the meantime, we need an address.
I'm on it.

This all makes sense.

An obsessed wannabe cop
out for revenge

against the institution
that rejected him.

Strong work, Detective.

Yeah, it's a shame
I'm not on the case anymore.

I don't even have a badge

or a gun.

Oh! This goes against
every fiber of my being.

But you're the lead
on this again.

Thanks, Cap.
No, don't thank me.

Thank that nutjob
for calling you.

I got an address.

Let's do this!
Let's do this!

(SIRENS BLARING)

Let's take
this guy down.

BOTH: One!
Wait a second.

BOTH: Two!
Isn't this...

BOTH: Three!

(GASPS)

What the heck
is going on here?

Uh, Mr. Mayor, sir,
there's, uh, been a mistake.

You think so?

MAYOR: Damn!

"Eeny, meeny, miny, Moe, that's
not my house, by now you know.

"Tomorrow's chaos
is just for show.

"Harvest Fest
will be real, though."

"Tomorrow's chaos"?

(MAILBOX WHIRRING)

(GASPING)

Give me a "D."
GIRLS: "D."

Give me an "E."
GIRLS: "E."

Give me an "A."

Wait, how do you
spell "defense"?

(ZAPPING)

(SCREAMS)

With the festival just two days
away, this is a city in chaos.

I mean, how do you even cover
a person in cotton candy?

What will these renegade
drones think of next?

Due to the recent dastardly acts
besieging our beloved city,

I have no choice but
to postpone, not cancel,

but postpone this year's
Harvest Valley Festival,

until the responsible party
has been brought to justice.

Man, that's all kinds
of hoopty.

In no way should this
decision be misconstrued

as me thinking
our police force

has been exposed
as being utterly incompetent.

We just can't have
people thinking

that we don't have
the faintest idea

how to keep our citizens safe.

(BANGING)

Nobody's safe!

(BEEPS)

This whole thing has
gotten out of hand.

It's time I get back
in the game.

Come on, K.
You promised him.

Bobby C, deep down
he knows he needs me.

This city needs me.

Sugar?
Good God!

Really?

You have to stop doing that.

Do you have a home, or do you
actually live in this coffee shop?

We had a deal, remember?

I just thought you might
need some backup, partner.

You're not a cop,
and you're not my partner.

Karina, we know
who this guy is,

and any friend of
the police force

is an enemy of his.

I'm sorry
I snapped at you.

I'm just

frustrated.

With this case
or the old one?

You ever gonna tell me
what happened that night?

It doesn't matter.

It matters to me.

Even though you try
real hard to pretend

you don't care
about things,

I know you do.

I see it in the way
you protect me

and in the way you fumbled
around in front of my mom.

Whatever happened before doesn't
make you who you are today.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

(SNIFFS) Simmons.

Yeah, Slim,
what do you got?

Gucci wallets, yeah,
put me down for two of them.

You got an address? Hold on.

2575 52nd Street.
2575 52nd Street.

You got a pen?

Yeah, got it, Slim. Thanks.

Slim just got a tip on
some heavy drone activity.

Two minutes from here.

Back on the case. SIMMONS: You
are not back on the case.

What are we waiting for? Let's go
bust down some doors and get him.

You're starting
to sound like me.

But judges do not write
search warrants

based on tips
from guys named Slim.

So, we might be here
for a while.

(SIGHS)

This is how you
properly fuel a stakeout.

(SNIFFS)

That's the good stuff
right there.

Kale, spinach,
a little turmeric.

What?
It's a root.

Really good
for constipation.

By the way,
you should be having

two to three good
bowel movements per day.

Preferably S-shaped, and...

Okay, enough.

(RETCHING)

I know, probably a shock
to your system,

but a couple of those a day and
you'll feel like a new man.

"A new man."

Right.

I once had a partner.

We were pursuing
a really bad guy

but he got the jump on us
and took him hostage.

I had the chance
to take the shot,

but I hesitated.

I was afraid I'd shoot
my partner by mistake.

(INHALES SHARPLY)

I...

I just couldn't pull
the trigger.

So,

what happened?

The guy got away.

Went on to do some
really bad things,

and I could've stopped him.

I think my dad would've
made the same choice.

You're pretty sharp
for a pipsqueak.

(CHUCKLES)

(DRONE WHIRRING)

KARINA: I know.

(IMITATING SIMMONS)
"Stay in the car."

I'm tempted to
handcuff you to the wheel.

I'd still find a way.

Freeze! Hands in the air!

(GRUNTS)

Ah!

That's not good.

Karina, he trusted you
to stay in the car.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

(GROANING)

I'm coming for you, partner!

Seriously?

(GROANING)

(YELLING)

Move, and I'll slime you.

All right, dirtball,
come clean.

I'll handle this.

All right, dirtball,
come clean.

Come clean about what?

About the drones,
about everything.

Okay, I'm Daniel Woo.

I have a bunch of drones,
and I like to fly them.

So, why did you run?

Some scraggly dude
breaks into my apartment,

pulls a gun on me,
what am I supposed to do?

Told you,
you should shave.

You assaulted
a police officer.

I think you know
more than that.

You never identified yourself,
so I did what I had to do.

Wait a sec,

you think I'm part of all
this criminal drone stuff?

Not anymore. (GROANS)

Hey, sorry about kicking your butt.
You okay?

Yeah, what are you, some
kind of ninja or something?

Oh, right, yeah, just 'cause
I'm Asian, I must be a ninja.

That's not
what I meant.

That's what it sounded like to me.
That's how I took it.

(PHONE RINGING)

This is Mr. Woo, President
of the local drone club,

in what is arguably
the worst week

to be the President of
the local drone club.

See if he can give you anything
worthwhile, then turn him loose.

Oh, please tell me that's our guy.
He's not our guy.

(SIGHS)

And why are you here?

I apprehended him.

Of course you did.
DISPATCHER: Captain.

Getting another report
of drones.

Dozens of them moving through
town, right down Main Street.

(SIGHS) Oliver!

Can you locate those drones through
satellite feeds or traffic cams?

I'm still working on that
facial recognition scan.

Just do it.

Stay here.

CAPTAIN: Look at all of them.

It's like they're being beckoned
by some kind of mothership.

The Mayor made the right call
postponing the festival.

The festival's postponed?

I was gonna take my mom.

If only we could
infiltrate that squadron,

it would lead us right to
his base of operations.

Yeah, but how do we do that
without the drones seeing us?

I have no idea.

I do.

We go undercover as drones.

That's brilliant.

We just need someone who'd offer
up a couple of his drones.

Not really in the mood
for any favors.

How many do you need?

(SIZZLING)

CAPTAIN: Perfect match.

Well done, people.

Okay, here's the plan.

We are going to infiltrate the suspect's
drone cluster with our decoys,

then going to follow them
back to his hideout.

Oliver, you'll pilot
the decoys.

Oh, uh, I don't know
about that.

Not everyone's qualified
to do actual police stuff.

We need you, Oliver.

SIMMONS: You know, Cap,

I think Karina should pilot
one of the drones.

She's a whiz
at that kind of thing.

I'm not saying she could
land a fighter jet

on an aircraft carrier
or anything.

Actually,
she probably could.

CAPTAIN:
That's a good idea.

She'll be safe here, away
from any physical danger,

and if one of
the drones goes down,

the other one
will finish the job.

Roger that, Cap.

Meanwhile, Detective Simmons
will lead a small tactical unit

to tail the drones
to their landing site.

BOTH: Banzai!

Let's take
this guy down.

I got a pack of 'em,
headed west,

away from
the downtown corridor.

I see them.

Maneuvering the decoys
into the pack.

Nice and easy.

We're in.

Copy that.
Good work, you two.

Matthews, O'Leary, stay
close but not too close.

Don't want those drones
spotting us on their tail.

MATTHEWS AND O'LEARY: Banzai!
(BANGS)

Or mine.

MATTHEWS: Sorry.
O'LEARY: Sorry.

Entering some kind of warehouse,
and the eagles have landed.

I repeat,
the eagles have landed.

I've always wanted
to say that.

(IMITATES EXPLOSION)

We are on scene, and we're
going radio silent.

Keep your drone cameras rolling
for any sign of Dewey.

KARINA: Copy that.

Let's go.

The mother lode.

The mother lode.

But where's the Bandit?

I don't get it. All this
evidence just sitting around.

Well, without his drones,
he's done.

Hey, guys,
check this out.

It's an order
for drone parts.

"I've made my point,
so loud and clear.

"It's time for me
to disappear.

"The game is over,
my rhymes are done.

"If I were you,
I'd surely run."

What's that supposed
to mean?

(TIMERS TICKING)

It means run!

CAPTAIN: Let's go!
Come on! Move it!

SIMMONS: Move it, Matthews!

Move it!

(EXPLOSION)

(ALL YELLING)

It was a trap!

Detective Simmons!
Detective Simmons!

Are you okay?
I repeat, are you okay?

Detective Simmons! Detective
Simmons, can you hear me?

Everybody is fine.

Can't say the same for
the evidence, though.

They're okay.

Oh, thank goodness.

You all right?

Yeah.

Okay, well, I'm gonna go get
something from the snack machine.

Do you want anything?

No, thanks. I still got
some smoothie left.

CAPTAIN: I guess Dewey thought
we were getting too close,

so he decided to pull the
plug on his operation

and go out with a bang.

Literally.

But what was the point?

Like the poem said, to make us
look bad in the eyes of the city.

But in a weird way,

all he did was bring out
the best in us.

In you.

I mean,
like Oliver said,

not everyone is qualified
to do real police stuff.

Oliver.

(SIREN BLARING IN DISTANCE)

Oh, no. Karina.

Oops.

Why are you driving
so fast?

It was him all along!

It's the same writing.

SIMMONS: He's great
with computers.

He can fly the heck
out of a drone.

He even gave us
the Mayor's address

when we thought we were
going to Dewey's place.

He knew about
the plan tonight!

That's why he brought the
drones back to their home base,

so he could blow them all
to smithereens!

Are you saying that Oliver
is working with Dewey?

I'm saying that
Oliver is Dewey.

OLIVER: I really wish
you hadn't found that.

(DOORS SHUT)
(GASPS)

And yes, I know. My "O's"
really need some work.

You're the Badge Bandit.

I would've gone
with a different name.

I feel like the press
really has no imagination.

SIMMONS: (ON RADIO) Karina!
(GASPS)

Karina, are you there?

(CRACKLES)

(PANTING)

There's nowhere
to hide, Karina.

Karina, are you there?

You must think
you're pretty smart.

I mean,
I'll give you this.

You're smarter than the morons
that they let work here.

(OLIVER CHUCKLES)

I had them completely
flummoxed by my plan,

looking like
the fools they are.

(SCREAMS)
How telling

that they needed the help of
a little girl to get a clue.

Don't you see?

We both wanted to be cops,
and everyone dismissed us.

We're not so different,
you and me.

I'm nothing like you.

Let her go, Oliver.
Or should I say, "Dewey."

Look at you with your
badge and your gun,

looking all heroic.

See, that's...

That's all I ever wanted,
but they turned me down.

They said that I wasn't fit
to wear the uniform.

Imagine that?

But why go to all
the trouble with drones,

pulling all those stupid
pranks around the city?

My pranks exposed the truth about
you and your fellow officers.

That when push comes
to shove,

you can't serve
or protect a thing!

Take the shot, Detective!

Why now?

Technology takes time
to perfect.

Except for
facial-recognition software.

That stuff works
pretty well already.

Do it! Take the shot!

I trust you!

I can't.
I can't take the chance.

Then go old school.

I've always hated
those things.

This is what a real
police badge looks like.

Take him
to the holding cell.

O'LEARY: You're done, buddy.

MATTHEWS: Like a chicken dinner.
(SIGHS)

Congratulations, Detective.

Couldn't have done it
without my partner.

CAPTAIN: I couldn't
agree more.

Well done.

You okay?

I blew it.

(LAUGHING) What are you
talking about?

I was with Oliver
all night. I...

I should've known
he was Dewey.

What kind of cop am I?

(SIGHS)

That's just it, Karina.

You're not a cop.

But someday, you're gonna
make a great one.

Right now you're a kid,

and a pretty great one
of those, too.

MATTHEWS: Mayor just gave us
a primo shout-out on the news,

then announced
the festival is back on.

We are so hitting
the hayride! (GRUNTS)

(LAUGHING)

Something tells me you're not
much of a parade guy, right?

Actually, I love parades.

(CHUCKLES)

(CROWD CHEERING)

It's about time, Deputy.

I'm not your deputy.

MAN: Congratulations!

So, the Badge Bandit
is finally behind bars?

Yes, ma'am.

Congratulations, and thank
you for keeping her safe.

(LAUGHING)

(CONTINUES LAUGHING)

What are you laughing at?

Picturing all the fun stuff
you're missing out there?

Oh, I'm not missing
a thing.

(BEEPS)

(PHONE BEEPS)

"Rub-a-dub-dub,
your bust was a flub.

"No matter what you believe, you just
might cry if you look to the sky

"to see the last trick
I had up my sleeve."

(WHIRRING)

Look, there's a float
in the sky.

No, it's a giant drone.

I hate those things.

Oh!
(SCREAMS)

(ALL SCREAMING)

(LAUGHING)

(SCREAMING)

(GASPS)

(CRACKLES)

Karina!
I've got her, Sarah! Run!

Okay.

We've got to take
this thing down!

I have an idea, but I need
you to stay right here.

You should know
better than that by now.

(WHIMPERING)

I was gonna run
for governor.

(CRYING) I still have shoes
I've never worn.

Hi, fellas.
I need a favor.

Do you think this thing
still works?

She'll fire,
but only a spark.

We got one shell
to make a spark.

Now, the thing that goes boom goes
in there and comes out there.

Just make sure to
put these in here.

Gunpowder's not
going to be enough.

We need to find something
to shoot outta this thing.

How about

this?

Karina, are you sure?

Positive.

It's headed for the station!

(GRUNTS)

A little left!

A little more!

SIMMONS: It's too heavy.
This thing weighs a ton!

(RUMBLING)

Who are you again?

I'm her deputy.

(BOTH GRUNTING)

We've gotta take it out now.

Fire!

Direct hit!

(BEEPING RAPIDLY)

Oh. No.

(EXPLODES)

(CHEERING)

Now, that's what
I'm talking about!

(ALL CHEERING)

Yes!

Oh! Boo-ya!

Karina!

I am so proud of you.

Just an average day.

ALL: Aw.

KARINA: I learned a lot from my days
on the front lines of the police force.

Mostly, I learned that I have
plenty of time to become a cop.

Right now,
I'm cool with being a kid.

Hey, Karina.

There's a party at my place on Friday.
You wanna come?

Okay. Sounds fun.

Cool, and invite
your friend, Bobby C.

Will do.
Bye.

KARINA: And really,
when it comes down to it,

good police work
is all about relationships.

Morning, Officer.

I believe
this belongs to you.

Way to go, kiddo.

KARINA:
But don't get me wrong,

in this day and age,

even the most
old-school curmudgeons

need to make room for
a little technology.

"Pretty slow on
my watch. You?"

"Hope you're prepared."

(PHONE CHIMES)

(CAMERA CLICKS)

(CHUCKLES)

(WHIRRING)

All right, kicking
down doors is an art,

one that is totally underappreciated
by today's rookies.

So, we're gonna start with your
basic surprise burst-in maneuver.

You line yourself up, you square
yourself up to your target,

you lock in your core

so that you can swivel it to a
45-degree angle, just like...