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1
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:05,059
(MAN AND WOMAN SINGING
"O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL")
2
00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,526
That was beautiful--
3
00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:16,488
(SINGING "DECK THE HALLS")
4
00:03:28,417 --> 00:03:30,252
Take it, Russ.
5
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:35,423
Dad, can you explain again
what we're doing?
6
00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:39,260
Sure, Russ. We're kicking off our fun,
old-fashioned family Christmas...
7
00:03:39,428 --> 00:03:42,973
...by heading out into the country
in the old front-wheel drive sleigh...
8
00:03:43,140 --> 00:03:45,642
...to embrace the majesty
of the winter landscape...
9
00:03:45,809 --> 00:03:48,937
...and select that most important
of Christmas symbols.
10
00:03:49,104 --> 00:03:53,108
We're not driving all the way here so
you can get one of those stupid ties...
11
00:03:53,275 --> 00:03:57,445
...with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?
-No, I have one of those at home.
12
00:03:57,612 --> 00:04:01,115
What we're looking for today
is the Griswold family Christmas tree.
13
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:02,200
What we're looking for today
is the Griswold family Christmas tree.
14
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,415
(snvenue
"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS")
15
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,542
(snvenue
"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS")
16
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:14,796
- What's the matter?
-Some jackass is riding my tail.
17
00:04:17,549 --> 00:04:20,176
Slow down and let him pass.
18
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,978
(smes
"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS")
19
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,398
Clark! Don't provoke them.
20
00:04:35,484 --> 00:04:36,902
Hey, kids, look a deer.
21
00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,118
(TIRES SCREECHING)
22
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,042
(LAUGHING)
23
00:04:57,005 --> 00:05:00,008
Clark, slow down!
24
00:05:00,175 --> 00:05:02,677
You wanna ride behind somebody
who does that?
25
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:05,179
I'll pull around them
and leave them behind us.
26
00:05:05,347 --> 00:05:09,059
Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.
27
00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:13,188
RUSTY: Dad, I think what you mean is,
"Burn rubber," and, "Eat my dust."
28
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,023
Whatever, Russ. Whatever.
29
00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:23,240
Eat my road grit, liver lips!
30
00:05:26,368 --> 00:05:28,244
Okay. That's enough of that.
31
00:05:30,372 --> 00:05:32,874
(TRUCK HONKS)
32
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,877
CLARK: Speaking of trees, kids,
can one of you tell me...
33
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:38,629
...what the first tree displayed
at the White House was?
34
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,965
Dad, they're back.
35
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:49,057
Clark, stop it!
I don't want to spend the holidays dead.
36
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:52,602
Honey, please! I'll do the driving, okay?
37
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,064
Will you just take it easy, Ellen?
I'm in complete control.
38
00:05:57,649 --> 00:05:59,067
I'll get around this egg timer.
39
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,573
Dad. Dad.
40
00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,504
- Thank God, we're all right!
-Clark, we're stuck under a truck!
41
00:06:20,714 --> 00:06:24,426
CLARK: Do you think I don't know that?
AUDREY: Come on, guys, don't fight.
42
00:06:24,593 --> 00:06:27,012
For chrissake,
I didn't do this on purpose!
43
00:06:30,682 --> 00:06:35,019
Our Father, who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
44
00:06:35,186 --> 00:06:38,105
And forgive my husband.
He knows not what he does.
45
00:06:38,273 --> 00:06:39,941
Amen!
46
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:44,362
ELLEN: Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
-Oops!
47
00:06:57,959 --> 00:07:00,002
Made pretty good time.
48
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:10,388
RUSTY: Dad, didn't they invent tree
lots so people wouldn't have to drive...
49
00:07:10,555 --> 00:07:13,599
...all the way out to nowhere
and waste a whole Saturday?
50
00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,852
CLARK: They made them
because people forgot...
51
00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,979
...how to have
an old-fashioned Christmas...
52
00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:20,565
...and are satisfied with scrawny,
overpriced trees...
53
00:07:20,732 --> 00:07:23,443
...that have no special meaning.
AUDREY: My toes are numb.
54
00:07:23,610 --> 00:07:27,530
CLARK: This is what our forefathers did.
AUDREY: I can't feel my leg.
55
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:31,450
CLARK: They walked out into the woods,
picked it and cut it with their hands.
56
00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:34,412
AUDREY: Mom, I can't feel my hips.
ELLEN: Clark.
57
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:37,498
CLARK: Yes, honey?
ELLEN: Audrey's frozen from the waist.
58
00:07:37,666 --> 00:07:40,168
That's all part of the experience, honey.
59
00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:43,504
There it is.
60
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:05,276
The Griswold family Christmas tree.
61
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:14,494
-Isn't it a little big?
-it's not big, it's just full.
62
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:15,786
-Isn't it a little big?
-it's not big, it's just full.
63
00:08:15,954 --> 00:08:19,457
- Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard.
-it's not going in our yard, Russ.
64
00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:20,958
- Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard.
-it's not going in our yard, Russ.
65
00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:23,586
It's going in our living room.
66
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,379
(TEETH CHATTERING)
67
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,885
- Look at it.
-It really is beautiful, Clark.
68
00:08:31,052 --> 00:08:33,554
-It's something else, huh, Russ?
-Yeah, Dad.
69
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:36,391
-Isn't it a beaut, Audrey?
ELLEN: She'll see it later, hon.
70
00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:39,018
Her eyes are frozen.
71
00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:42,771
Most enduring traditions of the season
are best enjoyed in the warm embrace...
72
00:08:42,939 --> 00:08:45,107
...of kith and kin.
73
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:49,446
This tree is the symbol of the spirit
of the Griswold Christmas.
74
00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:53,407
Dad, did you bring a saw?
75
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:42,498
Looks like the toad overestimated
the height of his living room ceiling.
76
00:09:54,302 --> 00:09:58,639
Hey, Griswold. Where do you think
you're gonna put a tree that big?
77
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,185
Bend over and I'll show you.
78
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:05,229
You've got a lot of nerve
talking to me like that.
79
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:08,065
I wasn't talking to you.
80
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:26,083
Clark, do you think there's enough room
for the angel?
81
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:30,004
Oh, sure, honey. I have
a little more trimming to do...
82
00:10:30,171 --> 00:10:32,590
...but that won't be a problem.
Ready?
83
00:10:33,007 --> 00:10:36,385
I give you
the Griswold family Christmas tree.
84
00:10:36,553 --> 00:10:38,763
(CREAKING)
85
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:46,145
CLARK:
There's a lot of sap in here.
86
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,813
(CLARK SPITTING)
87
00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,066
CLARK:
It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.
88
00:11:13,381 --> 00:11:16,884
- Did I tell you I talked to my mother?
-And?
89
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:20,554
They've decided they're coming
for Christmas too.
90
00:11:20,972 --> 00:11:24,475
-It's not too late to change our plans.
-No, no, that's great. That's great.
91
00:11:24,475 --> 00:11:25,726
-It's not too late to change our plans.
-No, no, that's great. That's great.
92
00:11:26,603 --> 00:11:28,813
You're forgetting how difficult
it's gonna be...
93
00:11:28,980 --> 00:11:30,982
...having everybody in the house.
94
00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,985
Honey, they're family.
They're not strangers off the street.
95
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:36,362
All they do is argue.
96
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,614
Christmas is about
resolving differences...
97
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:41,033
...and seeing through the problems
of family life.
98
00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:45,580
Yeah. And about my mother accusing
your mother of buying cheap hot dogs.
99
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:49,751
And your mother accusing my mother
of waxing her upper lip.
100
00:11:49,918 --> 00:11:53,379
- Then they don't speak to each other--
-Your mother waxes her upper lip?
101
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,758
- She has for years.
-It doesn't show.
102
00:11:57,926 --> 00:12:00,929
- I don't know, Sparky. I have a feeling--
-Ellen.
103
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:03,764
I want to have Christmas
here in our house.
104
00:12:03,932 --> 00:12:08,186
It means a lotto me. All my life I've
wanted to have a big family Christmas.
105
00:12:08,353 --> 00:12:10,229
I know.
106
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:16,652
It's just that I know how you build
things up in your mind, Sparky.
107
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:20,990
You set standards that no family event
can ever live up to.
108
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,032
You set standards that no family event
can ever live up to.
109
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,618
When have I ever done that?
110
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:31,125
- Parties. Weddings. Anniversaries.
-Good night, honey.
111
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:34,044
- Parties. Weddings. Anniversaries.
-Good night, honey.
112
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:38,341
- Funerals. Holidays.
CLARK: Oh, great.
113
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:41,511
ELLEN:
Vacations. Graduations.
114
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,119
You should be looking at
a fat Christmas bonus this year, huh?
115
00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:11,040
Word is you're an excellent choice to be
named Additive Designer of the Year.
116
00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:13,834
- Nah.
-I'm not kidding.
117
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:16,170
What's that new thing you got
at Food and Drug?
118
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:20,049
Oh, the crunch enhancer?
Yeah, it's a non-nutritive cereal varnish.
119
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,219
It's semipermeable, not osmatic.
It coats and seals the flake...
120
00:13:23,386 --> 00:13:25,846
...prevents the milk from penetrating it.
-Yeah.
121
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,349
-It's a beautiful product.
-I like it, yeah.
122
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,851
The question is,
what will you do with that bonus?
123
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:34,397
- Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.
-Me? Heck, no.
124
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,565
Take a look at this.
125
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:43,030
I hope my Christmas bonus check
will cover it.
126
00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:46,366
Oh, my God, you're putting in a pool.
127
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:59,171
I went ahead and I put a $7500
deposit down on it.
128
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,257
You're the last true family man.
129
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:06,721
FRANK: Mark.
CLARK: Clark.
130
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,182
That's Bill, sir.
131
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,060
Were you working on that
non-nutritive cereal varnish?
132
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:15,229
- Yes, sir.
-I gotta give a speech to a trade group.
133
00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:18,899
I'd like to mention it. Write a summary
and have it to me by the end of the day.
134
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:20,026
I'd like to mention it. Write a summary
and have it to me by the end of the day.
135
00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,986
- My pleasure.
-Layman's terms.
136
00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,822
None of that inside bullshit jargon
nobody understands.
137
00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:27,658
Yes, sir.
138
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,915
Oh, Mr. Shirley. We got
your Christmas card the other day...
139
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:37,126
...and my family and I are very flattered
that you remembered us.
140
00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:40,462
Corporate cards.
141
00:14:44,008 --> 00:14:47,302
- Don't forget that report, Bill.
-Yes, sir. Thank you. Merry Christmas.
142
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,763
Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
143
00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:53,434
Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.
Happy Hanukkah.
144
00:14:53,434 --> 00:14:55,310
Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.
Happy Hanukkah.
145
00:15:20,962 --> 00:15:23,422
Can I show you something?
146
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:33,307
I was just smelling-- Smiling.
I was just blouse-- Browsing.
147
00:15:33,307 --> 00:15:35,309
I was just smelling-- Smiling.
I was just blouse-- Browsing.
148
00:15:36,477 --> 00:15:39,313
For your wife or your girlfriend?
149
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,108
What? What happened?
150
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,492
I guess it wouldn't be any--
151
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:55,662
Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping
season if stores were less hooter--
152
00:15:55,830 --> 00:15:58,165
Hotter than they are.
153
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,960
- It is warm in here.
-You have your coat on.
154
00:16:01,127 --> 00:16:03,921
- Yes. Oh, do I? How did that happen?
-Because it's cold out.
155
00:16:04,422 --> 00:16:08,634
Yes. Yes. It is. It's a bit nipply out.
I mean, nippy out.
156
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:09,843
(LAUGHING)
157
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,430
What did I say, nipple?
158
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:16,684
- There is a nip in the air though.
-Can I take something out for you?
159
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:19,186
(CHUCKLING)
160
00:16:26,486 --> 00:16:29,989
I was just... I was just looking
at something for my wife.
161
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,198
I was just... I was just looking
at something for my wife.
162
00:16:31,365 --> 00:16:34,368
- God rest her soul.
-Oh, God, I'm so sorry.
163
00:16:34,619 --> 00:16:38,122
Oh, no, no, she's not dead.
We're just divorced. She's history.
164
00:16:38,122 --> 00:16:40,290
Oh, no, no, she's not dead.
We're just divorced. She's history.
165
00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:44,295
Obviously she doesn't wear underwear.
There are plenty of shopping days left...
166
00:16:44,462 --> 00:16:47,965
...until adultery-- Adulthood.
Which is to say Christmas, as in Yule.
167
00:16:47,965 --> 00:16:49,132
...until adultery-- Adulthood.
Which is to say Christmas, as in Yule.
168
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,803
Yule log. Not a log, I don't have a log.
But, I mean, you know, if I had a log...
169
00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:54,137
Yule log. Not a log, I don't have a log.
But, I mean, you know, if I had a log...
170
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:57,808
...not in the sense that you think
I said I did. Good golly.
171
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:59,559
...not in the sense that you think
I said I did. Good golly.
172
00:17:00,561 --> 00:17:02,563
'Tis the season to be merry.
173
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:05,107
- Well, that's my name.
-No shit.
174
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:17,119
What do these do? Do they clip on here?
Down there?
175
00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:18,328
What do these do? Do they clip on here?
Down there?
176
00:17:18,496 --> 00:17:20,915
MARY: Would you like this one?
CLARK: Sure.
177
00:17:21,207 --> 00:17:24,960
These are cut really high on the hip.
Look, I'm wearing something similar.
178
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,003
See? You can't see the line.
179
00:17:27,171 --> 00:17:29,673
- You can't see the line, can you, Russ?
-No.
180
00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:31,591
No.
181
00:17:33,094 --> 00:17:36,680
MAN OVER TV: That's a present
from a very dear friend of mine.
182
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:41,435
Look, Daddy, teacher says
every time a bell rings...
183
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,104
...an angel gets his wings.
184
00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:50,402
(DOORBELL CHIMING)
185
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:53,822
(MUSIC PLAYS OVER HEADPHONES)
186
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:03,666
Ho,ho,ho,ho,ho,ho,ho,ho.
187
00:18:05,418 --> 00:18:07,753
(ARGUING)
188
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:20,849
Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas.
189
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:27,356
- Hey! How you doing, son?
-Fine.
190
00:18:27,648 --> 00:18:31,026
There he is! Oh, my boy.
191
00:18:31,193 --> 00:18:34,988
- Look at how big you've gotten.
-Merry Christmas.
192
00:18:35,406 --> 00:18:36,990
- Mom.
-Sweetheart.
193
00:18:37,158 --> 00:18:41,328
Oh, knock on the door.
Lift up the ladder.
194
00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,788
- Listen. Doesn't Nora look old?
-You promised.
195
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:47,167
- Of course I do.
-They took a pint of fluid from my back.
196
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,545
Do you see this mole?
This mole on my neck?
197
00:18:49,712 --> 00:18:51,213
- Think it's changing color?
-No.
198
00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:55,550
- You keep touching it, it gets redder.
-I got hemorrhoids. Can you believe that?
199
00:18:55,718 --> 00:18:57,761
- Oh, Mother.
-isn't that terrible?
200
00:18:57,928 --> 00:19:00,430
- You're not getting the garage space.
-After what you--
201
00:19:00,598 --> 00:19:02,474
I'm doing the parking.
Russ, want to help?
202
00:19:02,683 --> 00:19:05,686
Mom, they're not sleeping in my room.
I'm gonna go crazy, Mom.
203
00:19:05,895 --> 00:19:09,189
NORA: Sweetheart. Your grandma's
got a real painful burr on my heel.
204
00:19:09,357 --> 00:19:11,692
If you rub it for me,
I'll give you a whole quarter.
205
00:19:11,859 --> 00:19:14,611
- A quarter. A quarter.
NORA: I'll give Audrey a quarter too.
206
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:18,157
- I'm gonna put my car in the garage!
-He damaged my car, you believe that?
207
00:19:18,324 --> 00:19:19,408
I'll park the cars.
208
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:23,495
This is what Christmas is all about.
209
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:27,624
I'll park the cars
and check the luggage...
210
00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:31,212
...and yeah,
I'll be outside for the season.
211
00:19:34,465 --> 00:19:36,842
We're gonna have the best-looking house
in town.
212
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:40,512
- I've always wanted to do this.
-That's a lot of lights, Dad.
213
00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:43,599
I'm sure it's a lot of work too,
but if I'm out in the cold...
214
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:46,935
...and I'm committed to decorating
the house, I'm gonna do it right...
215
00:19:47,103 --> 00:19:49,563
...and I'm gonna do it big.
216
00:19:49,814 --> 00:19:52,441
You want something
you can be proud of, don't you?
217
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:55,235
- Yeah, I guess so.
-Sure you do.
218
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:59,781
- You think you might be overdoing it?
-When did I last overdo anything?
219
00:19:59,782 --> 00:20:02,242
- You think you might be overdoing it?
-When did I last overdo anything?
220
00:20:05,371 --> 00:20:06,413
Come on, unravel these.
221
00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:12,252
You have to check every bulb.
Got a little knot here. You work on that.
222
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,341
I'll get the other box.
223
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,773
- I hope he falls and breaks his neck.
-I'm sure he'll fall.
224
00:20:32,940 --> 00:20:35,776
I don't think we're lucky enough
to have him break his neck.
225
00:20:39,113 --> 00:20:40,989
Let's go.
226
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:11,353
MAN OVER TV: These winds appear
to be playing havoc with that giant float.
227
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,645
MAN OVER TV: These winds appear
to be playing havoc with that giant float.
228
00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,941
At this point I can't even see the nuts.
They must have blown away.
229
00:21:16,150 --> 00:21:17,192
(SNORING)
230
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:21,321
But nothing is going to dampen the spirit
of this holiday crowd, I can tell you that.
231
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:25,743
Oh, here they are. Here come the nuts.
These look like giant nuts to me.
232
00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:29,455
Yeah, I'm reminded of a couple years
ago, the winds were so high here...
233
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,041
...we almost lost Santa's reindeer.
234
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:35,711
Rudolph's red nose took out a third floor
window at Marshall Field's.
235
00:21:35,711 --> 00:21:37,045
Rudolph's red nose took out a third floor
window at Marshall Field's.
236
00:21:37,213 --> 00:21:41,383
They better keep their eyes out
on their nuts before someone gets hurt.
237
00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:44,445
Would it be indecent to ask
the grandparents to stay at a hotel?
238
00:22:44,613 --> 00:22:46,072
Audrey.
239
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:48,951
Well, can we at least forbid them
to answer the phone?
240
00:22:49,118 --> 00:22:53,038
Alex called this morning. Grandpa Clark
told him I couldn't come to the phone...
241
00:22:53,205 --> 00:22:57,542
...because I was going to the bathroom.
-We're all making sacrifices, Audrey.
242
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,878
Everybody? Do you sleep
with your brother?
243
00:23:00,045 --> 00:23:02,464
Do you know how sick and twisted
that is, Mom?
244
00:23:02,756 --> 00:23:07,010
Well, I'm sleeping with your father.
Don't be so dramatic.
245
00:23:07,595 --> 00:23:09,847
I have nightmares about
what he does in his bed...
246
00:23:10,014 --> 00:23:11,890
...when I'm not lying right next to him.
247
00:23:12,099 --> 00:23:15,602
Well, I don't know what to say except
it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
248
00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:18,188
Well, I don't know what to say except
it's Christmas and we're all in misery.
249
00:23:18,606 --> 00:23:21,817
FRANCE:
Ellen, are you smoking again?
250
00:23:21,984 --> 00:23:24,361
No!
251
00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:30,992
(STAPLING)
252
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,452
OW!
253
00:23:34,622 --> 00:23:36,999
Hey, Dad, where do you want
these reindeer?
254
00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:40,085
Just put them down there on the lawn,
Russ.
255
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,797
I can't find the Santa Claus.
256
00:23:45,215 --> 00:23:48,843
It's in the basement. We'll get it later.
257
00:24:12,910 --> 00:24:14,494
(SCREAMING)
258
00:24:36,850 --> 00:24:38,560
(YELLS)
259
00:24:44,024 --> 00:24:47,527
- Clark. Dinner's ready.
CLARK: Okay, honey. I'm starving.
260
00:24:47,528 --> 00:24:50,113
- Clark. Dinner's ready.
CLARK: Okay, honey. I'm starving.
261
00:24:50,280 --> 00:24:52,282
(CLARK SPITTING)
262
00:24:59,957 --> 00:25:02,709
(GLASS TINKLING)
263
00:25:08,590 --> 00:25:10,758
Obviously something
had to break the window!
264
00:25:10,926 --> 00:25:13,887
Something had to hit the stereo!
265
00:25:22,730 --> 00:25:26,233
- And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?
-I don't know, Margo.
266
00:25:26,233 --> 00:25:28,735
- And why is the carpet all wet, Todd?
-I don't know, Margo.
267
00:25:35,951 --> 00:25:38,954
ART: You want to hurry this up?
I'm freezing my baguettes off.
268
00:25:39,121 --> 00:25:41,665
CLARK: Two hundred and fifty strands
of light...
269
00:25:41,832 --> 00:25:43,750
...100 individual bulbs per strand...
270
00:25:43,917 --> 00:25:47,503
...for a grand total of 25,000
imported Italian twinkle lights.
271
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:49,715
(CHEERING)
272
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:53,009
CLARK: Twenty-five thousand.
-I hope nobody I know drives by...
273
00:25:53,177 --> 00:25:57,055
...and sees me standing in the yard,
staring at the house in my pajamas.
274
00:25:57,222 --> 00:25:59,933
If they know your dad,
they won't think anything of it.
275
00:26:00,434 --> 00:26:01,935
Fire it up, Dad!
276
00:26:03,103 --> 00:26:07,603
I dedicate this house
to the Griswold family Christmas.
277
00:26:07,858 --> 00:26:09,442
ALL:
Aw...
278
00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:12,571
Drum roll, please.
279
00:26:14,615 --> 00:26:17,492
- Drum roll.
-Oh, uh...
280
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:19,869
(MIMICKING DRUM)
281
00:26:30,214 --> 00:26:33,800
(SINGS "JOY TO THE WORLD")
282
00:26:45,145 --> 00:26:46,771
museums)
283
00:26:48,398 --> 00:26:49,899
Beautiful, Clark.
284
00:26:50,234 --> 00:26:52,861
FRANCIS:
Talk about pissing your money away.
285
00:26:53,821 --> 00:26:58,242
I hope you kids see
what a silly waste of resources this was.
286
00:26:58,408 --> 00:27:02,495
- He worked really hard, Grandma.
-So do washing machines.
287
00:27:07,543 --> 00:27:09,711
Let's get in where it's warm.
288
00:27:09,878 --> 00:27:13,381
Clark, baby, I can picture it in my mind.
And it's breathtaking.
289
00:27:13,382 --> 00:27:15,675
Clark, baby, I can picture it in my mind.
And it's breathtaking.
290
00:27:18,011 --> 00:27:21,431
- Thanks, Mom.
-it's probably a bad bulb, son.
291
00:27:21,598 --> 00:27:24,851
You know, if one goes out,
the whole thing doesn't work.
292
00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:28,354
Now, if I were you
I'd personally check each one.
293
00:27:28,522 --> 00:27:31,525
- I did that, Dad. I can't--
-Now, look, if you need any help...
294
00:27:31,692 --> 00:27:36,029
...give me a holler. I'll be asleep.
-Thanks.
295
00:27:36,196 --> 00:27:39,699
Sorry, Daddy. It looks good
even if they're not lit.
296
00:27:39,700 --> 00:27:41,493
Sorry, Daddy. It looks good
even if they're not lit.
297
00:27:42,244 --> 00:27:43,578
Thank you, sweetheart.
298
00:27:50,252 --> 00:27:53,755
- Well, Dad, it was a good try.
-Thanks, Russ.
299
00:27:53,755 --> 00:27:55,089
- Well, Dad, it was a good try.
-Thanks, Russ.
300
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:57,050
- Russ.
-Yeah?
301
00:27:57,217 --> 00:28:00,720
- We checked every bulb, didn't we?
-Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure of it.
302
00:28:00,721 --> 00:28:03,223
- We checked every bulb, didn't we?
-Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm sure of it.
303
00:28:03,891 --> 00:28:08,061
I thought so. Well, maybe
we ought to go up there and just get--
304
00:28:08,228 --> 00:28:12,440
Jeez! Look at the time.
I gotta get to bed.
305
00:28:12,608 --> 00:28:15,193
Brush my teeth. Feed the hog.
306
00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:19,655
I've still got some homework to do.
Do the laundry. Wash the car.
307
00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:22,575
I've still got those bills to pay...
308
00:28:22,743 --> 00:28:27,243
Clark, don't stay up too late.
309
00:28:35,464 --> 00:28:37,048
(SNORING)
310
00:28:49,019 --> 00:28:52,605
Get off me, you little fungus.
311
00:30:52,559 --> 00:30:55,728
Where the hell is that cold coming from?
312
00:30:55,896 --> 00:30:59,649
Ooh... Oh.
313
00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:12,412
Hey!
314
00:31:14,373 --> 00:31:16,041
Hey.
315
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:18,126
Hello?
316
00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:20,962
- I need to get a few more--
-Pay by check.
317
00:31:21,129 --> 00:31:25,508
- I will. Not a card?
ART: If they return it, it's a hassle...
318
00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:27,927
CLARK:
Russ!
319
00:31:29,262 --> 00:31:31,430
(HONKING)
320
00:31:31,765 --> 00:31:35,059
- Help!
ELLEN: Daddy, is Clark coming?
321
00:31:35,227 --> 00:31:37,270
ART: How would I know?
-Is he in the house?
322
00:31:37,437 --> 00:31:40,273
If he isn't farting around
with his lights, he must be inside.
323
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,192
I'm sure he wants to come shopping
and have lunch with us.
324
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:46,863
He's got another car. He can drive.
I have to eat so I can take my back pills.
325
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:49,282
He's got another car. He can drive.
I have to eat so I can take my back pills.
326
00:32:06,883 --> 00:32:09,218
(CAR STARTING)
327
00:32:19,813 --> 00:32:22,565
Ellen! Hey! Ellen!
328
00:33:10,238 --> 00:33:13,324
(CREAKING)
329
00:35:40,055 --> 00:35:42,849
(CLATTERING)
330
00:35:50,357 --> 00:35:53,860
I want to take off these clothes, sit
with a glass of wine and kiss your body.
331
00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:55,319
I want to take off these clothes, sit
with a glass of wine and kiss your body.
332
00:35:55,487 --> 00:35:57,739
- After you shower, of course.
-Of course.
333
00:36:14,422 --> 00:36:16,632
ELLEN: Sparky?
-Yes, honey.
334
00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:29,728
Are you out here for a reason,
or are you just avoiding the family?
335
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:33,441
No. I still have a couple hundred
more bulbs to check.
336
00:36:33,817 --> 00:36:37,904
In the meantime, I can light the Santa,
the deer and the Merry Christmas sign.
337
00:36:38,738 --> 00:36:41,699
That should look good. Ready?
338
00:36:41,866 --> 00:36:45,369
- You want me to do the drum roll thing?
-No, it's okay. Here goes nothing.
339
00:36:45,370 --> 00:36:47,080
- You want me to do the drum roll thing?
-No, it's okay. Here goes nothing.
340
00:36:53,253 --> 00:36:55,588
I don't understand it.
341
00:36:56,589 --> 00:37:00,134
The house lights don't work,
the flood lights don't work.
342
00:37:02,095 --> 00:37:03,763
Is it plugged in?
343
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:06,599
Do you honestly think I would check
thousands of lights...
344
00:37:06,766 --> 00:37:09,018
...if the extension cord
wasn't plugged in?
345
00:37:11,771 --> 00:37:14,607
You used more than one cord,
didn't you?
346
00:37:16,651 --> 00:37:20,154
Maybe the kids have been fooling
around with it. I'll check in back.
347
00:37:20,155 --> 00:37:21,239
Maybe the kids have been fooling
around with it. I'll check in back.
348
00:37:41,468 --> 00:37:43,470
Clark!
349
00:37:44,262 --> 00:37:46,639
Todd! What's that light?!
350
00:37:47,849 --> 00:37:49,225
ELLEN:
Clark!
351
00:37:50,143 --> 00:37:51,811
Honey, I think I know what's wrong.
352
00:38:08,369 --> 00:38:10,204
TODD:
I can't see.
353
00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:13,165
MARGO:
No, no, no-- Oh, my God--
354
00:38:28,097 --> 00:38:30,516
CLARK:
This ought to do it.
355
00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:42,319
(TODD GROANS)
356
00:38:42,695 --> 00:38:44,029
Ellen, I fixed it!
357
00:38:45,824 --> 00:38:47,700
MARGO: Oh, right!
TODD: Oh, God!
358
00:38:47,867 --> 00:38:51,370
Everybody! Come out quick!
Look at the lights!
359
00:38:59,796 --> 00:39:02,632
- Get a towel.
-Okay!
360
00:39:05,385 --> 00:39:08,638
CLARK: Wait. I don't believe this!
-What's all the yelling about?
361
00:39:09,055 --> 00:39:12,558
What?! But--
What's going on here?
362
00:39:14,686 --> 00:39:16,813
Twenty-five thousand twinkle lights.
363
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:21,817
- What's he doing, Clark?
-I haven't the foggiest.
364
00:39:21,985 --> 00:39:24,070
CLARK:
What?
365
00:39:24,237 --> 00:39:27,740
What the hell? What is wrong with this?
366
00:39:27,740 --> 00:39:28,907
What the hell? What is wrong with this?
367
00:39:30,410 --> 00:39:33,413
Damn it! Damn it!
368
00:39:36,457 --> 00:39:39,543
You goddamn light!
369
00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:49,720
(YELLS)
370
00:39:57,437 --> 00:39:58,771
CLARK:
Go! Go! Do it!
371
00:40:00,273 --> 00:40:01,732
(SCREAMS)
372
00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:13,285
Dad, it's beautiful!
373
00:40:26,257 --> 00:40:28,717
(SOBBING)
374
00:40:28,885 --> 00:40:30,469
Oh, my carpet!
375
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:42,982
- Oh, Clark, it's so lovely.
-Mom.
376
00:40:42,982 --> 00:40:44,483
- Oh, Clark, it's so lovely.
-Mom.
377
00:40:45,276 --> 00:40:49,613
You deserve a home like this
to spend Christmas in.
378
00:40:51,240 --> 00:40:54,743
-It's a beaut, Clark. It's a beaut.
-Dad, Dad, Dad.
379
00:40:54,744 --> 00:40:55,953
-It's a beaut, Clark. It's a beaut.
-Dad, Dad, Dad.
380
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:58,914
You taught me everything
I know about exterior illumination.
381
00:40:59,082 --> 00:41:01,834
Thank you, thank you.
382
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:04,962
CLARK:
Russ. Audrey.
383
00:41:07,674 --> 00:41:10,885
Dear, dear Francis.
384
00:41:12,845 --> 00:41:15,556
I hope this adds to your enjoyment
of the holidays.
385
00:41:15,723 --> 00:41:19,560
-It's just wonderful.
-Yeah.
386
00:41:20,436 --> 00:41:23,939
Arthur. Art.
387
00:41:25,191 --> 00:41:26,483
Dad.
388
00:41:26,651 --> 00:41:31,151
- Thanks for being here.
-The little lights are not twinkling.
389
00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:34,366
I know, Art, and thanks for noticing.
390
00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:40,706
EDDIE:
The house sure does look swell, Clark.
391
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:44,585
Thanks, Eddie. I hope it enhances
your holiday spirit. Dear Cathrine.
392
00:41:44,585 --> 00:41:47,045
Thanks, Eddie. I hope it enhances
your holiday spirit. Dear Cathrine.
393
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:49,882
Eddie?
394
00:41:50,216 --> 00:41:53,719
- Oh, the house is gorgeous, Clark.
-Eddie?
395
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,263
- Oh, the house is gorgeous, Clark.
-Eddie?
396
00:41:55,430 --> 00:41:58,724
I hope you didn't do this
all on our account, Clark.
397
00:41:58,891 --> 00:42:02,394
Kids, come on out here and see what
Uncle Clark's done to the house.
398
00:42:02,562 --> 00:42:04,063
Eddie?
399
00:42:04,313 --> 00:42:06,398
(DOG GROWLING)
400
00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:12,821
Eddie?
401
00:42:14,741 --> 00:42:18,786
Yeah. If you don't remember,
this here is Rocky.
402
00:42:19,162 --> 00:42:22,415
- You got a kiss for me?
EDDIE: Better take a rain check on that.
403
00:42:22,582 --> 00:42:24,917
He's got a lip fungus
they ain't identified yet.
404
00:42:28,129 --> 00:42:32,299
- You remember Ruby Sue?
-Oh, yeah.
405
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,426
Oh, my gosh!
406
00:42:36,304 --> 00:42:39,432
- Her eyes aren't crossed anymore.
EDDIE: That's something, ain't it?
407
00:42:39,599 --> 00:42:41,225
Falls in a well, eyes go crossed.
408
00:42:41,392 --> 00:42:44,186
She gets kicked by a mule,
they go back to normal.
409
00:42:44,353 --> 00:42:45,896
I don't know.
410
00:42:46,064 --> 00:42:48,483
(CHUCKLING)
411
00:42:48,941 --> 00:42:51,944
And this here's our pride and joy. Snots.
412
00:42:52,111 --> 00:42:53,445
(SNOTS SNEEZES)
413
00:42:53,613 --> 00:42:54,697
Pretty name, Ed.
414
00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:57,783
We named him that
because he's got this sinus condition.
415
00:42:58,618 --> 00:43:01,954
Snots, you roll over and let
Uncle Clark scratch your belly.
416
00:43:04,123 --> 00:43:06,959
You ain't never seen a set on a dog
like this one's got, Clark.
417
00:43:07,126 --> 00:43:09,711
- Oh, Ed.
-That's okay, Eddie.
418
00:43:10,254 --> 00:43:12,839
EDDIE: That's something, ain't it?
You pet him...
419
00:43:13,007 --> 00:43:15,217
...and he'll love you till the day you die.
420
00:43:15,384 --> 00:43:18,303
I really shouldn't.
My hands are all chapped.
421
00:43:18,471 --> 00:43:22,391
We were gonna call, but Eddie
wanted to make it a surprise.
422
00:43:22,558 --> 00:43:26,311
- Yeah. You surprised?
-Surprised, Eddie?
423
00:43:26,479 --> 00:43:29,982
If I woke up with my head sewn to
the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised.
424
00:43:29,982 --> 00:43:31,149
If I woke up with my head sewn to
the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised.
425
00:43:33,486 --> 00:43:36,572
We have plenty of room.
426
00:43:37,490 --> 00:43:41,202
We have plenty of towels.
We have plenty of everything.
427
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:47,165
We're pretty well set up here in the RV.
It's a little tight...
428
00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:50,878
...but we didn't come to impose.
-Hell, there's plenty of room.
429
00:43:51,045 --> 00:43:53,756
- Quit being so damn polite, Ed.
-Oh...
430
00:43:53,923 --> 00:43:57,635
Cathrine and I, we're pretty
comfy in there, you know.
431
00:43:57,802 --> 00:44:01,180
But maybe you wouldn't mind
the youngsters shacking up with you.
432
00:44:01,347 --> 00:44:04,850
After that long drive, we could
use a little private time together.
433
00:44:04,851 --> 00:44:06,602
After that long drive, we could
use a little private time together.
434
00:44:06,769 --> 00:44:08,645
Why don't you get the kids' things?
435
00:44:08,813 --> 00:44:11,607
Don't forget the rubber sheets
and gerbils.
436
00:44:11,774 --> 00:44:14,359
Come on. I wanna show you the home.
437
00:44:14,527 --> 00:44:17,530
NORA: Audrey, help me get some
hot chocolate. It's cold.
438
00:44:17,822 --> 00:44:20,449
(CHATTERING)
439
00:44:36,883 --> 00:44:39,135
(WHIMPERING)
440
00:44:51,731 --> 00:44:55,943
That's a honey of a tree, Clark.
Is it real?
441
00:44:56,110 --> 00:44:58,821
Yeah. Yeah, I dug it out
of the ground myself.
442
00:44:58,988 --> 00:45:02,574
- Is that a fact?
-Hey, get out of there. Snots! Yo!
443
00:45:02,742 --> 00:45:06,120
Don't worry about it, Clark.
A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him.
444
00:45:06,287 --> 00:45:08,998
Before we left, he drank
a half a quart of Pennzoil.
445
00:45:09,165 --> 00:45:12,668
Boy, when he lifted his leg
the next morning...
446
00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:14,294
Boy, when he lifted his leg
the next morning...
447
00:45:14,462 --> 00:45:18,007
If he drinks the water, the tree's
gonna dry up. Come on, out of there.
448
00:45:18,174 --> 00:45:20,259
- Snots.
CLARK: Out, out, out.
449
00:45:20,426 --> 00:45:22,302
Get out of there.
Get in the kitchen now.
450
00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,639
Get in the kitchen there and get
you something to eat. Go on.
451
00:45:25,806 --> 00:45:29,309
He's cute, ain't he? Problem is, he's got
a bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.
452
00:45:29,310 --> 00:45:31,437
He's cute, ain't he? Problem is, he's got
a bit of Mississippi leg hound in him.
453
00:45:31,604 --> 00:45:35,107
If the mood catches him right, he'll
grab your leg and just go to town.
454
00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:36,608
If the mood catches him right, he'll
grab your leg and just go to town.
455
00:45:36,776 --> 00:45:40,279
Don't want him around if you're wearing
short pants, if you know what I mean.
456
00:45:40,279 --> 00:45:41,405
Don't want him around if you're wearing
short pants, if you know what I mean.
457
00:45:41,989 --> 00:45:45,492
A word of warning, though. If he lays
into you, it's best to just let him finish.
458
00:45:45,493 --> 00:45:47,953
A word of warning, though. If he lays
into you, it's best to just let him finish.
459
00:45:49,121 --> 00:45:53,416
I can't believe you're actually standing
here in my living room, Eddie.
460
00:45:53,584 --> 00:45:57,838
- Never thought the day would come.
-Yeah, I'm excited about it too.
461
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:01,717
It's a crying shame
the older kids couldn't make it.
462
00:46:04,470 --> 00:46:08,765
I'll get that. Don't worry about it.
Let me get it.
463
00:46:11,185 --> 00:46:14,688
Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic,
getting cured off the Wild Turkey.
464
00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:16,148
Yeah, I got the daughter in the clinic,
getting cured off the Wild Turkey.
465
00:46:16,315 --> 00:46:19,818
And the older boy, bless his soul,
is preparing for his career.
466
00:46:19,819 --> 00:46:20,861
And the older boy, bless his soul,
is preparing for his career.
467
00:46:21,028 --> 00:46:22,487
- College?
-Carnival.
468
00:46:23,781 --> 00:46:26,158
- You gotta be proud.
-Oh, yeah.
469
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:30,412
Yeah, last season he was
a pixie-dust spreader on the Tilt-O-Whirl.
470
00:46:30,579 --> 00:46:32,330
He thinks maybe next year...
471
00:46:32,498 --> 00:46:35,751
...he'll be guessing people's weight
or barking for the Yak Woman.
472
00:46:37,962 --> 00:46:39,588
- You ever see her?
-No.
473
00:46:39,755 --> 00:46:43,258
She's got these big horns
growing right out above her ears.
474
00:46:43,426 --> 00:46:47,012
Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal.
And a hell of a good cook.
475
00:46:47,179 --> 00:46:49,723
Can I refill your eggnog?
Get you something to eat?
476
00:46:50,099 --> 00:46:52,351
Drive you out to nowhere
and leave you for dead?
477
00:46:52,518 --> 00:46:56,688
No, I'm doing just fine, Clark.
Just glad to be here.
478
00:46:56,856 --> 00:47:00,359
Yeah. So when did you get
the tenement on wheels?
479
00:47:00,359 --> 00:47:01,693
Yeah. So when did you get
the tenement on wheels?
480
00:47:01,861 --> 00:47:04,947
Oh, that there? That's an RV.
481
00:47:05,114 --> 00:47:09,201
Yeah, yeah. I borrowed it off a buddy
of mine. He took my house...
482
00:47:09,368 --> 00:47:13,622
...I took the RV.
It's a good-looking vehicle, ain't it?
483
00:47:13,789 --> 00:47:16,041
Yeah. Looks so nice parked
in the driveway.
484
00:47:16,208 --> 00:47:20,337
Yeah, it sure does. But don't
you go falling in love with it now.
485
00:47:20,504 --> 00:47:23,715
Because we're taking it with us
when we leave here next month.
486
00:47:33,309 --> 00:47:36,729
FRANK: Well, get Ed Leftic up here
to look over these figures.
487
00:47:36,896 --> 00:47:39,440
Oh, retooling. That's a great excuse.
488
00:47:41,067 --> 00:47:44,737
Retooling?! I'll retool you!
489
00:47:46,447 --> 00:47:49,992
CLARK: Mr. Shirley, merry Christmas.
-Who's that?
490
00:47:50,993 --> 00:47:53,412
-It's me, Clark Griswold.
-What do you want?
491
00:47:55,414 --> 00:47:59,668
My wife and I came up with a little
something special. It's a gift.
492
00:48:00,836 --> 00:48:04,422
Put it over there with the others,
greaseball.
493
00:48:12,098 --> 00:48:13,849
Oh.
494
00:48:14,016 --> 00:48:18,478
By the way, I hope my report
helped out at the trade show.
495
00:48:23,442 --> 00:48:26,069
I'm sure it did, Grisball.
496
00:48:26,237 --> 00:48:29,949
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm in the middle of an important call.
497
00:48:30,449 --> 00:48:33,660
Get me somebody. Anybody.
498
00:48:34,829 --> 00:48:36,330
And get me somebody while I wait.
499
00:48:49,552 --> 00:48:53,055
This is a new silicon-based kitchen
lubricant my company's working on.
500
00:48:53,055 --> 00:48:54,931
This is a new silicon-based kitchen
lubricant my company's working on.
501
00:48:55,099 --> 00:48:58,852
It creates a surface 500 times
more slippery than any cooking oil.
502
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:01,354
We're gonna fly down
the hill with this stuff.
503
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:05,192
- Has anyone ever used it on a sled?
-Not that I know of, Russ.
504
00:49:07,987 --> 00:49:11,323
Well, don't go putting
none of that stuff on my sled, Clark.
505
00:49:11,490 --> 00:49:14,618
- You know that metal plate in my head?
-How could I forget?
506
00:49:14,785 --> 00:49:18,580
I had to have it replaced because every
time Cathrine revved up the microwave...
507
00:49:18,747 --> 00:49:21,833
...I'd piss my pants and forget
who I was for a half-hour or so.
508
00:49:22,001 --> 00:49:25,504
Over at the V.A. they replaced it with
a plastic one and it ain't as strong, so...
509
00:49:25,504 --> 00:49:27,422
Over at the V.A. they replaced it with
a plastic one and it ain't as strong, so...
510
00:49:27,590 --> 00:49:30,843
I don't know if I ought to go down
no hill with nothing between...
511
00:49:31,010 --> 00:49:34,179
...the ground and my brain
but a piece of government plastic.
512
00:49:36,015 --> 00:49:39,518
- You really think it matters, Eddie?
-The plate runs underneath my part here.
513
00:49:39,518 --> 00:49:42,187
- You really think it matters, Eddie?
-The plate runs underneath my part here.
514
00:49:42,813 --> 00:49:45,190
Over here it's, you know, nothing.
515
00:49:45,357 --> 00:49:48,860
But here, if this gets dented,
then my hairjust ain't gonna look right.
516
00:49:48,861 --> 00:49:50,195
But here, if this gets dented,
then my hairjust ain't gonna look right.
517
00:49:52,907 --> 00:49:56,410
Yeah, I know the feeling.
I better try this first, see how it works.
518
00:49:56,410 --> 00:49:58,036
Yeah, I know the feeling.
I better try this first, see how it works.
519
00:49:58,204 --> 00:50:01,415
EDDIE: You be careful there.
CLARK: There's nothing to worry about.
520
00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:06,586
Going for a new amateur recreational
saucer-sled land-speed record:
521
00:50:07,004 --> 00:50:09,548
Clark W. Griswold Jr.!
522
00:50:10,174 --> 00:50:14,595
Remember, don't try this at home, kids.
I am a professional.
523
00:50:16,597 --> 00:50:20,100
Later, dudes. Let her rip. Hang 10.
524
00:50:20,100 --> 00:50:21,434
Later, dudes. Let her rip. Hang 10.
525
00:50:22,394 --> 00:50:24,896
Oh, shit!
526
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:27,732
Oh...
527
00:50:35,407 --> 00:50:36,991
Hey! Hey! Hey! Ah!
528
00:50:37,868 --> 00:50:41,079
This is great! It's great! It's great!
I'm dead!
529
00:50:42,790 --> 00:50:44,082
No, not-- Hey!
530
00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:48,837
(SCREAMING)
531
00:50:58,889 --> 00:51:00,432
(WOMAN SCREAMS)
532
00:51:00,599 --> 00:51:02,017
CLARK:
Look out!
533
00:51:22,913 --> 00:51:24,831
(CRASHING)
534
00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:28,502
Bingo.
535
00:51:39,972 --> 00:51:43,475
- Clark? You staying late?
-Oh, hi, Bill. Yeah.
536
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:44,809
- Clark? You staying late?
-Oh, hi, Bill. Yeah.
537
00:51:44,977 --> 00:51:48,814
Just finishing up a few things.
Last day of the year for me.
538
00:51:48,981 --> 00:51:52,275
Well, have a really Merry Christmas.
539
00:51:53,193 --> 00:51:54,569
You too.
540
00:51:56,989 --> 00:52:00,200
- Are you okay?
-Yeah.
541
00:52:01,827 --> 00:52:04,412
Bill, did you get your bonus yet?
542
00:52:04,580 --> 00:52:06,873
I just talked to my son.
543
00:52:07,041 --> 00:52:10,169
Company messenger brought something
to the house. I guess that's it.
544
00:52:10,336 --> 00:52:14,836
Nothing like waiting till the
last minute, huh? Did you get yours?
545
00:52:17,051 --> 00:52:19,386
If it isn't at the house,
I'm sure it's on its way.
546
00:52:19,762 --> 00:52:24,016
If I don't get that bonus,
I'm in it up to here.
547
00:52:24,183 --> 00:52:26,560
Don't sweat it. It'll come.
Merry Christmas.
548
00:52:27,144 --> 00:52:29,229
Same to you.
549
00:52:43,285 --> 00:52:45,662
(WATER SPLASHING)
550
00:52:45,829 --> 00:52:47,997
(BING CROSBY'S
"MELE KALIKIMAKA" PLAYS)
551
00:53:45,556 --> 00:53:46,598
Me?
552
00:54:39,985 --> 00:54:42,153
RUBY SUE:
Santy Claus!
553
00:54:42,321 --> 00:54:44,698
Uncle Clark, are you Santy Claus?
554
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:48,034
What? Oh.
555
00:54:49,620 --> 00:54:51,830
You scared me.
556
00:54:53,207 --> 00:54:55,083
No, I'm not Santa Claus.
557
00:54:58,670 --> 00:55:01,297
I wish I was.
558
00:55:01,924 --> 00:55:04,760
What are you doing up, sweetheart?
559
00:55:06,011 --> 00:55:08,179
RUBY SUE: Rocky bit my thumb.
-What?
560
00:55:08,347 --> 00:55:11,183
Him's nervous because
Christmas is almost here.
561
00:55:12,392 --> 00:55:15,603
- Nervous or excited?
-Shitting bricks.
562
00:55:17,022 --> 00:55:20,859
- You shouldn't use that word.
-Sorry. Shitting rocks.
563
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:23,736
I see. Good.
564
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:27,824
Him's nervous because he don't
know if he's getting nothing.
565
00:55:30,410 --> 00:55:33,538
I don't think he should be nervous
and you shouldn't be either.
566
00:55:33,705 --> 00:55:36,374
Because if you're good, Santa knows it.
567
00:55:37,251 --> 00:55:41,546
If you believe in him and you believe
in your mom and you believe in your...
568
00:55:41,713 --> 00:55:44,048
Your dad.
569
00:55:44,216 --> 00:55:48,716
If you've been good all year round,
Santa is gonna bring you something.
570
00:55:49,555 --> 00:55:52,933
Sometimes I think all that
Santa crap is just bull.
571
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:56,478
If he was so real, how come
we didn't get squat last year?
572
00:55:56,645 --> 00:55:59,314
We didn't do nothing wrong
and we still got the shaft.
573
00:56:00,190 --> 00:56:04,152
Well, I happen to know for a fact
that Santa Claus is real.
574
00:56:04,903 --> 00:56:07,405
And in the next couple of days...
575
00:56:07,573 --> 00:56:09,741
...somehow I'm gonna prove it to you.
576
00:56:11,201 --> 00:56:14,245
You know, every year he comes
to our house. I've seen him.
577
00:56:15,581 --> 00:56:19,334
- That's true?
-Cross my heart.
578
00:56:19,835 --> 00:56:21,503
So...
579
00:56:22,337 --> 00:56:25,715
-it's good you came to stay with us.
-I love it here.
580
00:56:25,883 --> 00:56:28,594
You don't gotta put on your coat
to go to the bathroom.
581
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,262
And your house is always parked
in the same place.
582
00:56:34,933 --> 00:56:37,894
I think you'd better go back to bed now.
583
00:56:39,563 --> 00:56:42,607
Okay. How come you ain't sleeping?
584
00:56:44,943 --> 00:56:48,071
Oh, I was just looking for something.
585
00:56:50,741 --> 00:56:54,244
You didn't notice if a man came here
and delivered a letter today, did you?
586
00:56:54,244 --> 00:56:55,370
You didn't notice if a man came here
and delivered a letter today, did you?
587
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:57,580
Nope. How come?
588
00:56:57,748 --> 00:57:00,083
Oh, just wondering.
589
00:57:05,005 --> 00:57:07,507
Now you get back to bed. Come on.
590
00:57:13,972 --> 00:57:16,516
Uncle Clark, are you sure
you ain't Santy Claus?
591
00:57:18,143 --> 00:57:19,936
I'm sure.
592
00:57:24,274 --> 00:57:27,443
I can't even afford to be an elf.
593
00:57:29,279 --> 00:57:31,823
(YELLING)
594
00:57:36,870 --> 00:57:41,370
Two containers of K rations!
Two containers of K rations!
595
00:57:41,541 --> 00:57:45,002
Then I had Spam until
it was coming out of my ears.
596
00:57:45,170 --> 00:57:47,172
Oh, bullshit!
597
00:57:56,765 --> 00:58:00,268
ELLEN: Aren't you having any breakfast?
-I'm not in the mood.
598
00:58:00,268 --> 00:58:01,352
ELLEN: Aren't you having any breakfast?
-I'm not in the mood.
599
00:58:01,895 --> 00:58:04,355
What are you looking at?
600
00:58:05,107 --> 00:58:08,276
Oh, the silent majesty
of a winter's morn.
601
00:58:08,443 --> 00:58:11,612
The clean, cool chill of the holiday air.
602
00:58:11,780 --> 00:58:15,450
And an asshole in his bathrobe emptying
a chemical toilet into my sewer.
603
00:58:20,706 --> 00:58:23,583
- Shitter was full!
-Yeah.
604
00:58:23,750 --> 00:58:26,502
- Have you checked our shitters, honey?
-Clark, please.
605
00:58:26,670 --> 00:58:29,089
- He doesn't know any better.
-it's illegal.
606
00:58:29,256 --> 00:58:33,426
It's a sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity
the person who lights a match near it.
607
00:58:39,975 --> 00:58:42,936
(BURPING)
608
00:58:53,363 --> 00:58:55,448
(SNIFFING)
609
00:58:57,117 --> 00:59:00,620
Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.
610
00:59:00,620 --> 00:59:01,787
Merry Christmas. Shitter was full.
611
00:59:15,719 --> 00:59:19,556
ELLEN: I have a suspicion Cathrine and
Eddie don't have presents for their kids.
612
00:59:20,098 --> 00:59:23,601
Rocky said something about Eddie telling
him Santa wasn't coming this year.
613
00:59:23,602 --> 00:59:25,520
Rocky said something about Eddie telling
him Santa wasn't coming this year.
614
00:59:26,354 --> 00:59:29,940
Yeah. Ruby Sue said something
like that last night.
615
00:59:30,108 --> 00:59:33,861
- How can they have nothing for the kids?
-He's been out of work for seven years.
616
00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:36,156
In seven years he couldn't find a job?
617
00:59:36,323 --> 00:59:40,452
Cathrine says he's been holding out
for a management position.
618
00:59:44,122 --> 00:59:47,625
- So how's the live-bait business, Eddie?
-Well, I can't complain. How you doing?
619
00:59:47,626 --> 00:59:49,502
- So how's the live-bait business, Eddie?
-Well, I can't complain. How you doing?
620
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:51,462
Not that good, actually.
621
00:59:51,630 --> 00:59:54,966
Your company kill off all them
people over in India not long ago?
622
00:59:55,133 --> 00:59:58,636
No. We missed out on that one. You're
pretty set so far as shopping goes?
623
00:59:58,637 --> 01:00:00,805
No. We missed out on that one. You're
pretty set so far as shopping goes?
624
01:00:00,972 --> 01:00:04,475
Well, I can't lie to you, Clark. The truth
is, things ain't going too good at all.
625
01:00:04,476 --> 01:00:06,269
Well, I can't lie to you, Clark. The truth
is, things ain't going too good at all.
626
01:00:06,436 --> 01:00:09,939
You know, I told you I borrowed the RV
from my neighbor? Nope. It's mine.
627
01:00:09,940 --> 01:00:11,733
You know, I told you I borrowed the RV
from my neighbor? Nope. It's mine.
628
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:15,403
We live in it. I had to sell off
the house, the barn, the 10 acres.
629
01:00:15,403 --> 01:00:17,738
We live in it. I had to sell off
the house, the barn, the 10 acres.
630
01:00:17,906 --> 01:00:21,409
All I kept was a 50-foot plot,
the pigs and the worm farm.
631
01:00:21,409 --> 01:00:24,328
All I kept was a 50-foot plot,
the pigs and the worm farm.
632
01:00:24,830 --> 01:00:27,207
If only I had back the money
that me and Cathrine...
633
01:00:27,374 --> 01:00:31,836
...sent that TV preacher that was
screwing the hockey players.
634
01:00:32,003 --> 01:00:33,879
What about the kids?
635
01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:37,717
- His kids can fend for themselves.
-No, your kids.
636
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:41,387
Oh, well, that's the bitch of it.
See, I don't know what to do.
637
01:00:41,555 --> 01:00:45,058
We coasted into town on fumes.
The gas money give out in Gurnee.
638
01:00:45,058 --> 01:00:46,768
We coasted into town on fumes.
The gas money give out in Gurnee.
639
01:00:47,602 --> 01:00:49,478
Eddie...
640
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:53,941
Ellen and I want to help you
give the kids a nice Christmas.
641
01:00:54,109 --> 01:00:57,570
- Clark, I couldn't do that.
-No, no, we insist.
642
01:00:57,737 --> 01:01:00,239
Oh, no. I'm not one
for charity, now.
643
01:01:00,407 --> 01:01:03,910
Oh, I know that, Eddie.
This isn't charity. It's family.
644
01:01:06,204 --> 01:01:09,415
- I don't know about that.
-Now, come on.
645
01:01:09,583 --> 01:01:13,378
If you don't tell me what they want,
I'll go out and get it on my own.
646
01:01:15,213 --> 01:01:19,383
Oh, boy.
This is a surprise, Clark.
647
01:01:20,010 --> 01:01:23,513
This is just a real nice surprise.
Just a real nice surprise.
648
01:01:23,513 --> 01:01:25,806
This is just a real nice surprise.
Just a real nice surprise.
649
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:27,892
(BONES CRACKING)
650
01:01:30,896 --> 01:01:34,941
Here's a little list.
Alphabetical, starting with Cathrine.
651
01:01:35,108 --> 01:01:39,070
And if it wouldn't be too much,
I'd like to get something for you, Clark.
652
01:01:39,237 --> 01:01:42,281
Something really nice.
653
01:01:59,049 --> 01:02:03,053
BETHANY: ls your house on fire, Clark?
CLARK: No, those are Christmas lights.
654
01:02:03,220 --> 01:02:06,598
BETHANY: Don't throw me down, Clark.
- I'll try not to, Aunt Bethany.
655
01:02:07,265 --> 01:02:10,184
BETHANY: Is this the airport, Clark?
-We're here!
656
01:02:10,560 --> 01:02:14,105
Hey, Gris, me and Bethany
figured out the perfect gift for you.
657
01:02:14,272 --> 01:02:16,983
Oh, Uncle Lewis, you didn't
have to buy me anything.
658
01:02:17,150 --> 01:02:20,111
Damn it, Bethany, he guessed it.
659
01:02:20,278 --> 01:02:24,615
Oh, that was fun.
I love riding in cars.
660
01:02:25,617 --> 01:02:28,453
When did you move to Florida?
661
01:02:29,955 --> 01:02:33,249
Ellen, are you still dating Clark?
662
01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:38,963
Oh, Aunt Bethany, you know
you shouldn't have done that.
663
01:02:39,130 --> 01:02:41,841
Oh, dear. Did I break wind?
664
01:02:42,133 --> 01:02:45,678
Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany?
665
01:02:45,845 --> 01:02:49,390
Hell, no. She means presents.
You shouldn't have brought presents.
666
01:02:49,891 --> 01:02:53,728
It isn't every day somebody
moves into a new house.
667
01:02:53,895 --> 01:02:56,022
They didn't move into a new house.
668
01:02:56,398 --> 01:02:59,359
- Um... Mom?
-In the living room, Russ.
669
01:03:01,695 --> 01:03:05,156
This house is bigger
than your old one.
670
01:03:05,824 --> 01:03:07,784
Is Rusty still in the Navy?
671
01:03:07,951 --> 01:03:11,996
Aunt Bethany, why don't you go with
Francis and Cathrine to the living room...
672
01:03:12,163 --> 01:03:14,665
...and say hello to everybody.
-Hello, everybody?
673
01:03:14,833 --> 01:03:16,960
- Just in the living room.
-I should say it?
674
01:03:17,127 --> 01:03:20,088
ELLEN: You should say it.
BETHANY: Hello, everybody!
675
01:03:21,256 --> 01:03:22,840
RUSTY: Mom.
-What?
676
01:03:23,008 --> 01:03:26,177
- This box is meowing.
CLARK: Let me see it.
677
01:03:28,013 --> 01:03:30,015
(MEOWING)
678
01:03:31,516 --> 01:03:34,727
- She wrapped up her cat.
-Take it in the kitchen and open it up.
679
01:03:34,894 --> 01:03:38,063
- Then we'll have a cat running around.
-You can't leave it in the box.
680
01:03:38,231 --> 01:03:40,483
Why would somebody
wrap up a cat in a box?
681
01:03:40,650 --> 01:03:44,195
She gets confused, Rusty. She and
Uncle Lewis don't have much money...
682
01:03:44,362 --> 01:03:47,615
...so she takes things from the house
and gives them as presents.
683
01:03:47,782 --> 01:03:49,700
Great. Can't wait to see what I got.
684
01:03:49,868 --> 01:03:52,954
EDDIE:
This one here is leaking.
685
01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:02,630
-It's lime.
-That's her Jell-O mold. I'll take it.
686
01:04:02,797 --> 01:04:06,550
Why don't you go back in the living room
and enjoy yourself? Russ?
687
01:04:06,718 --> 01:04:08,052
Come on, boy.
688
01:04:09,512 --> 01:04:11,222
Let's go find your sister.
689
01:04:12,766 --> 01:04:14,476
(MEOWING)
690
01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:31,284
Daddy, don't do this.
691
01:04:32,285 --> 01:04:35,788
Before we begin, since this is
Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas...
692
01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:37,248
Before we begin, since this is
Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas...
693
01:04:37,415 --> 01:04:39,834
...I think she should lead us
in the saying of grace.
694
01:04:40,001 --> 01:04:42,753
ALL: Aw...
ELLEN: Great.
695
01:04:44,589 --> 01:04:46,549
BETHANY:
What, dear?
696
01:04:47,759 --> 01:04:49,302
Grace!
697
01:04:50,053 --> 01:04:54,265
Grace? She passed away
30 years ago.
698
01:04:54,432 --> 01:04:56,767
They want you
to say grace.
699
01:04:59,521 --> 01:05:01,814
The blessing.
700
01:05:08,488 --> 01:05:09,572
(CLEARING THROAT)
701
01:05:18,498 --> 01:05:22,001
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America...
702
01:05:22,001 --> 01:05:24,044
I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America...
703
01:05:24,462 --> 01:05:27,923
...and to the republic
for which it stands...
704
01:05:28,091 --> 01:05:30,510
...one nation under God,
indivisible...
705
01:05:30,677 --> 01:05:34,180
...with liberty
and justice for all.
706
01:05:34,180 --> 01:05:35,931
...with liberty
and justice for all.
707
01:05:36,599 --> 01:05:38,475
- Amen.
-Amen.
708
01:05:43,606 --> 01:05:47,568
Cathrine, if this turkey tastes
half as good as it looks...
709
01:05:47,735 --> 01:05:50,612
...I think we're all in
for a very big treat.
710
01:05:51,322 --> 01:05:52,990
Thank you.
711
01:05:54,659 --> 01:05:58,162
- Save the neck for me, Clark.
-Okay, Eddie.
712
01:06:03,960 --> 01:06:05,878
(GROANING)
713
01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:08,422
LEWIS:
Look at that.
714
01:06:09,424 --> 01:06:12,802
(couemwe)
715
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:14,512
Sorry.
716
01:06:15,013 --> 01:06:19,017
- Why are you crying?
-I told you we put it in too early.
717
01:06:19,184 --> 01:06:23,396
- Oh, it's just a little dry. It's fine.
-It looks good to me.
718
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:25,439
Here's the heart.
719
01:07:26,376 --> 01:07:28,086
Aunt Bethany?
720
01:07:29,337 --> 01:07:31,422
Does your cat, by any chance,
eat Jell-O?
721
01:07:33,967 --> 01:07:37,470
Well, I don't know about the cat,
but I sure am enjoying it.
722
01:07:50,775 --> 01:07:51,942
Hey, kids?
723
01:07:52,569 --> 01:07:56,072
I heard on the news that a pilot spotted
Santa's sled on its way from New York.
724
01:07:56,072 --> 01:07:57,615
I heard on the news that a pilot spotted
Santa's sled on its way from New York.
725
01:07:58,783 --> 01:08:01,243
ALL:
Ooh...
726
01:08:04,122 --> 01:08:06,040
You serious, Clark?
727
01:08:08,042 --> 01:08:11,545
Art, you want to load me up with
a little more there. it is good.
728
01:08:11,546 --> 01:08:12,880
Art, you want to load me up with
a little more there. it is good.
729
01:08:13,047 --> 01:08:14,548
(couemwe)
730
01:08:21,639 --> 01:08:22,848
- Ed?
EDDIE: Yeah, Clark.
731
01:08:23,016 --> 01:08:24,851
What's wrong with the dog?
732
01:08:25,518 --> 01:08:28,103
(SNOTS COUGHING)
733
01:08:28,271 --> 01:08:29,730
Oh, he's just yacking on a bone.
734
01:08:29,897 --> 01:08:30,939
(SNOTS THROWING UP)
735
01:08:31,107 --> 01:08:33,067
He's got it up. He's all right now.
736
01:08:34,736 --> 01:08:37,488
Maybe if you wouldn't
feed him from the table.
737
01:08:38,990 --> 01:08:41,367
No, no.
738
01:08:41,534 --> 01:08:44,495
He's probably just nosing
through the trash there.
739
01:08:52,920 --> 01:08:56,673
Hey, Gris, if you're not doing
anything constructive...
740
01:08:56,841 --> 01:09:00,177
...run into the living room,
get my stogy.
741
01:09:01,012 --> 01:09:04,098
Is there anything else I can
do for you, Uncle Lewis?
742
01:09:04,265 --> 01:09:07,685
He's an old man.
This may be his last Christmas.
743
01:09:07,852 --> 01:09:10,646
If he keeps it up,
it will be his last Christmas.
744
01:09:44,389 --> 01:09:46,391
That should be it.
745
01:09:49,143 --> 01:09:50,310
(MEOWING)
746
01:09:52,897 --> 01:09:54,398
CLARK:
Honey?
747
01:10:02,115 --> 01:10:06,202
- You had too many plugs in one outlet.
CLARK: Oh, God.
748
01:10:07,286 --> 01:10:09,246
LEWIS:
What is it?
749
01:10:10,498 --> 01:10:14,001
Nothing. Let's go in
and finish our dessert.
750
01:10:16,003 --> 01:10:19,756
If that thing had nine lives,
she just spent them all.
751
01:10:20,133 --> 01:10:22,135
Whoo!
752
01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,640
If you don't mind, Clark, I'd like to see
if I can fumigate this here chair.
753
01:10:27,640 --> 01:10:28,682
If you don't mind, Clark, I'd like to see
if I can fumigate this here chair.
754
01:10:28,850 --> 01:10:31,644
It's a good, quality item.
755
01:10:32,895 --> 01:10:36,398
If you don't mind me asking,
how much it set you back?
756
01:10:36,399 --> 01:10:37,817
If you don't mind me asking,
how much it set you back?
757
01:10:37,984 --> 01:10:39,819
You smell something?
758
01:10:41,904 --> 01:10:43,947
Fried pussycat.
759
01:10:45,950 --> 01:10:48,911
It's not the chair. It's some kind
of gas coming from the sewer.
760
01:10:49,078 --> 01:10:51,497
(EDDIE CHUCKLING)
761
01:11:37,168 --> 01:11:38,627
Lewis?
762
01:11:39,670 --> 01:11:41,421
My tree!
763
01:11:43,007 --> 01:11:44,717
So, what's the matter with you?
764
01:11:46,219 --> 01:11:48,763
Look what you've done to my tree!
765
01:11:51,390 --> 01:11:52,891
Lewis.
766
01:12:03,694 --> 01:12:06,154
It was an ugly tree, anyway.
767
01:12:06,322 --> 01:12:08,699
At least it's out of its misery.
768
01:12:09,033 --> 01:12:11,201
- Dad's gonna flip out.
-Nobody's gonna flip out.
769
01:12:11,369 --> 01:12:13,162
We're gonna have
a wonderful Christmas.
770
01:12:13,329 --> 01:12:15,039
(KNOCKING)
771
01:12:17,208 --> 01:12:18,709
What the hell do you want?
772
01:12:18,876 --> 01:12:22,379
I have a delivery for Clark W. Grisman.
I was supposed to deliver it yesterday...
773
01:12:22,380 --> 01:12:24,048
I have a delivery for Clark W. Grisman.
I was supposed to deliver it yesterday...
774
01:12:24,215 --> 01:12:27,718
...but it fell between the seats,
and I didn't see it. I'm sorry.
775
01:12:27,718 --> 01:12:29,219
...but it fell between the seats,
and I didn't see it. I'm sorry.
776
01:12:35,726 --> 01:12:37,769
Merry Christmas.
777
01:12:38,437 --> 01:12:40,188
Merry Christmas.
778
01:12:43,568 --> 01:12:45,820
- I can't believe it.
ART: What is it?
779
01:12:45,987 --> 01:12:49,156
A letter confirming your reservation
at the nut house?
780
01:12:49,323 --> 01:12:51,283
It's from my company.
781
01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:53,994
- Your bonus.
-My bonus.
782
01:12:54,287 --> 01:12:55,621
ALL:
Oh!
783
01:12:57,248 --> 01:12:59,291
FRANCIS:
That's great!
784
01:12:59,709 --> 01:13:01,585
Open it, Clarkie.
Open it.
785
01:13:02,295 --> 01:13:04,755
Yeah, I hope it's a fortune, Clark.
786
01:13:04,922 --> 01:13:06,924
I bet you do, Eddie.
787
01:13:10,928 --> 01:13:12,220
I was afraid...
788
01:13:12,388 --> 01:13:15,307
Are you gonna bawl all over it,
or are you gonna open it?
789
01:13:17,435 --> 01:13:20,938
I was gonna wait till tomorrow to tell
you all this, but what the heck.
790
01:13:20,938 --> 01:13:22,481
I was gonna wait till tomorrow to tell
you all this, but what the heck.
791
01:13:23,190 --> 01:13:26,693
With this bonus check,
I'm putting in a swimming pool.
792
01:13:31,073 --> 01:13:33,825
That's it. That's the big one!
793
01:13:35,786 --> 01:13:37,204
ELLEN:
Open it!
794
01:13:39,123 --> 01:13:42,876
I'm sorry if I've been a little short
with everyone lately.
795
01:13:43,044 --> 01:13:45,129
I've been waiting
for this bonus.
796
01:13:45,296 --> 01:13:47,965
To make sure the pool goes in
when the ground thaws...
797
01:13:48,132 --> 01:13:50,843
...I had to pay in advance.
And until this arrived...
798
01:13:51,010 --> 01:13:54,179
...I didn't have enough in my account
to cover the check.
799
01:13:54,347 --> 01:13:56,557
- Tear the sucker open, Dad.
-Yeah.
800
01:13:58,100 --> 01:14:01,561
Drum roll. Just kidding.
801
01:14:07,735 --> 01:14:12,156
If there's enough left over, I'm gonna fly
you all down here to help us dedicate it.
802
01:14:12,323 --> 01:14:15,868
(CHEERING)
803
01:14:16,118 --> 01:14:18,328
I can't swim, Clark.
804
01:14:18,996 --> 01:14:20,956
I know that, Eddie.
805
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:33,593
Oh.
806
01:14:35,221 --> 01:14:37,264
Clark, what's wrong?
807
01:14:37,431 --> 01:14:38,849
Honey?
808
01:14:39,976 --> 01:14:42,687
It's bigger than you expected?
809
01:14:45,898 --> 01:14:47,482
Smaller?
810
01:14:49,860 --> 01:14:51,486
What is it?
811
01:14:52,530 --> 01:14:56,450
It's a one-year membership
in the Jelly of the Month Club.
812
01:14:56,617 --> 01:14:57,659
Oh, God.
813
01:14:57,827 --> 01:15:02,206
Clark, that's the gift that keeps
on giving the whole year.
814
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:07,627
That it is, Edward.
That it is, indeed.
815
01:15:07,795 --> 01:15:10,881
I'm sorry. Clark...
816
01:15:11,382 --> 01:15:14,885
If this isn't the biggest punch
in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!
817
01:15:14,885 --> 01:15:16,887
If this isn't the biggest punch
in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!
818
01:15:17,054 --> 01:15:18,555
Son.
819
01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:35,739
That's good. That's good.
That's good.
820
01:15:38,534 --> 01:15:41,119
Ahh... Hey!
821
01:15:42,079 --> 01:15:45,582
If any of you are looking for any
last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.
822
01:15:45,583 --> 01:15:47,459
If any of you are looking for any
last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one.
823
01:15:47,626 --> 01:15:50,420
I'd like Frank Shirley, my boss,
right here, tonight.
824
01:15:51,630 --> 01:15:54,966
I want him brought from his happy
holiday slumber on Melody Lane...
825
01:15:55,134 --> 01:15:58,220
...with all the other rich people,
and I want him right here.
826
01:15:58,387 --> 01:16:00,764
With a big ribbon on his head.
827
01:16:00,931 --> 01:16:03,475
I wanna look him straight
in the eye and tell him...
828
01:16:03,642 --> 01:16:06,519
...what a cheap, lying, no good,
rotten, four-flushing...
829
01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:09,773
...low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating,
inbred, overstuffed...
830
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:13,443
...ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing,
brainless, dickless, hopeless...
831
01:16:13,444 --> 01:16:14,736
...ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing,
brainless, dickless, hopeless...
832
01:16:14,904 --> 01:16:18,657
...heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed,
stiff-legged, spotty-lipped...
833
01:16:18,824 --> 01:16:21,827
...worm-headed sack
of monkey shit he is!
834
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:26,289
Hallelujah! Holy shit!
Where's the Tylenol?
835
01:16:39,845 --> 01:16:43,348
- He's got that crazed look in his eye.
RUSTY: We should've gone to Hawaii.
836
01:16:43,349 --> 01:16:44,391
- He's got that crazed look in his eye.
RUSTY: We should've gone to Hawaii.
837
01:16:44,558 --> 01:16:47,811
Turn that thing off
and get in the house!
838
01:16:47,978 --> 01:16:50,021
I'll talk to him, Mom.
839
01:16:53,150 --> 01:16:55,861
You know, Dad.
I've been thinking.
840
01:16:57,822 --> 01:16:59,240
Good talk, Dad.
841
01:17:04,995 --> 01:17:07,664
Aren't you a bit sorry we didn't
get a Christmas tree?
842
01:17:07,832 --> 01:17:11,335
Even though they're dirty and
messy and corny and cliched.
843
01:17:11,502 --> 01:17:15,047
Well, where you gonna find a tree
at this hour on Christmas Eve?
844
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:36,026
What's the matter?
845
01:17:37,361 --> 01:17:39,738
Was that really necessary?
846
01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:43,700
- We needed a tree.
-May I remind you that--
847
01:17:43,868 --> 01:17:48,038
That this was all my idea. No.
No, no. I'm well aware of that, honey.
848
01:17:48,372 --> 01:17:51,708
Could you just keep it in mind
the next time you go berserk?
849
01:17:52,001 --> 01:17:55,212
I didn't go berserk.
I simply solved a problem.
850
01:17:57,548 --> 01:18:01,885
We needed a coffin.
I mean, a tree.
851
01:18:02,052 --> 01:18:04,179
There are no lots open
on Christmas Eve.
852
01:18:04,346 --> 01:18:08,308
Lewis burned down my tree,
so I replaced it as best I could. Voila).
853
01:18:08,893 --> 01:18:12,229
- Are you okay?
-I'm fine, honey.
854
01:18:16,400 --> 01:18:18,527
(WHISTLING)
855
01:18:32,917 --> 01:18:35,044
(THUDDING)
856
01:18:36,462 --> 01:18:38,589
Fixed the newelpost.
857
01:19:00,986 --> 01:19:02,445
What's that sound?
858
01:19:09,536 --> 01:19:11,329
(SQUEAKING)
859
01:19:24,510 --> 01:19:28,013
Do you hear it?
It's a funny squeaky sound.
860
01:19:28,013 --> 01:19:29,139
Do you hear it?
It's a funny squeaky sound.
861
01:19:30,057 --> 01:19:34,394
You couldn't hear a dump truck
driving through a nitroglycerin plant.
862
01:19:34,561 --> 01:19:37,772
Shh. I hear it too.
863
01:19:46,156 --> 01:19:48,074
I don't hear it anymore.
864
01:19:51,912 --> 01:19:54,331
(SCREAMING)
865
01:20:01,714 --> 01:20:03,590
What was it?! Oh, my God!
866
01:20:10,055 --> 01:20:12,307
Quiet! Shut up!
867
01:20:25,070 --> 01:20:27,197
Mom, don't move.
868
01:20:28,407 --> 01:20:31,201
We can't let it get out
of the living room.
869
01:20:32,036 --> 01:20:34,705
Where's Eddie? He usually eats
these goddamn things.
870
01:20:34,872 --> 01:20:38,375
Oh, not recently, Clark. He read that
squirrels were high in cholesterol.
871
01:20:38,375 --> 01:20:39,876
Oh, not recently, Clark. He read that
squirrels were high in cholesterol.
872
01:20:40,044 --> 01:20:41,920
Thank you, Cathrine.
873
01:20:42,796 --> 01:20:44,214
I'll try and trap it.
874
01:20:44,465 --> 01:20:46,300
- Russ!
-Right here, Dad.
875
01:20:47,009 --> 01:20:48,885
Oh, there you are.
876
01:20:49,636 --> 01:20:51,054
Go get the hammer.
877
01:20:51,221 --> 01:20:53,389
Clark, what do you need
a hammer for?
878
01:20:53,557 --> 01:20:57,102
I'm gonna catch it in the coat
and smack it with the hammer.
879
01:21:04,693 --> 01:21:06,820
I'm going in with him.
880
01:21:09,948 --> 01:21:11,574
Nora?
881
01:21:12,576 --> 01:21:15,412
- Nora!
-Is it gone?
882
01:21:15,579 --> 01:21:18,623
It probably got scared
and ran back into the tree.
883
01:21:18,916 --> 01:21:20,751
Squirrel!
884
01:21:26,256 --> 01:21:27,298
(GROWLING)
885
01:21:32,638 --> 01:21:35,515
(SCREAMING)
886
01:21:59,415 --> 01:22:03,627
You just march right over there
and slug that creep in the face.
887
01:22:03,794 --> 01:22:06,838
- I can't just attack someone.
-If you're not man enough...
888
01:22:07,005 --> 01:22:09,924
...to put an end to this shit,
then I am.
889
01:22:21,854 --> 01:22:23,272
Ha!
890
01:22:30,904 --> 01:22:31,946
Gone.
891
01:22:34,241 --> 01:22:36,326
(DOOR CLOSES)
892
01:22:37,661 --> 01:22:39,829
Oh, my God!
893
01:22:42,499 --> 01:22:44,626
What happened to you?
894
01:22:51,758 --> 01:22:55,178
CLARK:
Beautiful. God.
895
01:22:56,805 --> 01:22:59,808
Where do you think you're going?
Nobody's leaving.
896
01:22:59,975 --> 01:23:02,644
Nobody's walking out
on this family Christmas.
897
01:23:02,811 --> 01:23:05,230
No, no. We're all in this together.
898
01:23:05,481 --> 01:23:08,400
This is a full-blown, four-alarm
holiday emergency here.
899
01:23:08,775 --> 01:23:12,236
We're gonna press on, and we're gonna
have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas...
900
01:23:12,404 --> 01:23:14,697
...since Bing Crosby tap-danced
with Danny Kaye.
901
01:23:15,199 --> 01:23:18,160
And when Santa squeezes his ass
down that chimney tonight...
902
01:23:18,327 --> 01:23:22,289
...he's gonna find the jolliest bunch
of assholes this side of the nut house.
903
01:23:22,706 --> 01:23:23,957
You're goofy.
904
01:23:24,124 --> 01:23:25,917
- Don't piss me off, Art.
ELLEN: Clark?
905
01:23:26,960 --> 01:23:29,170
-It's over.
-Not according to Santa's watch.
906
01:23:29,338 --> 01:23:31,173
- Come on, son.
-Stay out of this, Dad.
907
01:23:31,340 --> 01:23:34,384
Clark, I think it's best
if everyone just goes home.
908
01:23:34,927 --> 01:23:37,888
- Before things get worse.
-Worse?
909
01:23:38,055 --> 01:23:39,598
How could they
get any worse?
910
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:44,144
Take a look around you, Ellen.
We're at the threshold of hell.
911
01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:03,288
Son?
912
01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:07,084
I love you.
We all love you.
913
01:24:07,334 --> 01:24:11,504
But this is a terrible night.
Nothing's gone right. It's a disaster.
914
01:24:11,672 --> 01:24:14,925
You losing your temper with the whole
family only makes things worse.
915
01:24:15,092 --> 01:24:18,136
You're too good a father
to act like this.
916
01:24:19,429 --> 01:24:23,929
In years to come, you'll want your family
to remember all the love you gave us.
917
01:24:24,101 --> 01:24:26,978
And how hard you tried
to make the perfect Christmas.
918
01:24:27,145 --> 01:24:30,106
- Well, I just--
-You just cocked it up.
919
01:24:31,608 --> 01:24:34,944
Oh, it's okay. It happens.
920
01:24:37,030 --> 01:24:40,825
- Our holidays were always such a mess.
-Oh, yeah.
921
01:24:41,326 --> 01:24:43,369
How did you
get through it?
922
01:24:43,996 --> 01:24:46,999
I had a lot of help
from Jack Daniels.
923
01:24:55,716 --> 01:24:57,634
I love you.
924
01:24:59,303 --> 01:25:01,138
CLARK: Dad?
-Yeah.
925
01:25:01,638 --> 01:25:03,973
Are you gonna recite
The Night Before Christmas?
926
01:25:04,141 --> 01:25:08,395
No. It's your house.
It's your Christmas.
927
01:25:09,187 --> 01:25:11,147
I'm retiring.
928
01:25:12,232 --> 01:25:15,109
CLARK: "The children were nestled
all snug in their beds...
929
01:25:15,277 --> 01:25:18,738
...while visions of sugarplums
danced in their heads.
930
01:25:18,905 --> 01:25:21,574
And Mama in her kerchief
and I in my cap...
931
01:25:21,742 --> 01:25:24,494
...had just settled our brains
for a long winter's nap.
932
01:25:24,828 --> 01:25:27,747
When out on the lawn,
there arose such a clatter...
933
01:25:28,040 --> 01:25:30,333
...I sprang from my bed to see
what was the matter.
934
01:25:30,626 --> 01:25:32,836
Away to the window,
I flew like a flash...
935
01:25:33,003 --> 01:25:35,672
...tore open the shutters
and threw up the sash.
936
01:25:35,839 --> 01:25:40,093
The moon on the new-fallen snow gave
a luster of midday to objects below.
937
01:25:40,344 --> 01:25:41,386
(CLATTERING)
938
01:25:41,553 --> 01:25:45,056
When what to my wondering eyes should
appear but a miniature sleigh and..."
939
01:25:45,057 --> 01:25:46,224
When what to my wondering eyes should
appear but a miniature sleigh and..."
940
01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:50,019
And Eddie with a man in his
pajamas with a dog chain...
941
01:25:50,187 --> 01:25:52,272
...tied to his wrists and ankles.
What the--?
942
01:25:52,439 --> 01:25:53,982
(EDDIE CHUCKLING)
943
01:25:55,025 --> 01:25:56,735
CLARK:
Stay here.
944
01:26:01,239 --> 01:26:05,034
Ho,ho,ho.
Merry Christmas, Clark.
945
01:26:05,952 --> 01:26:08,788
You about ready to do some kissing?
946
01:26:10,457 --> 01:26:13,042
WOMAN: Yes, officer, it seems
my husband's been abducted.
947
01:26:13,210 --> 01:26:15,253
The man was...
948
01:26:15,420 --> 01:26:18,923
...wearing a blue leisure suit,
and the plates were from Kansas.
949
01:26:18,924 --> 01:26:19,966
...wearing a blue leisure suit,
and the plates were from Kansas.
950
01:26:20,133 --> 01:26:23,594
He was a huge, beastly,
bulging man and--
951
01:26:23,845 --> 01:26:26,180
I've never been treated
like this in my life.
952
01:26:26,348 --> 01:26:29,726
I'm sorry. This is our family's
first kidnapping.
953
01:26:29,893 --> 01:26:33,062
You're fired. And where's the phone?
I'm calling the police.
954
01:26:33,230 --> 01:26:37,275
Hey, just hold your wad there, fella.
Clark had nothing to do with this.
955
01:26:37,442 --> 01:26:39,569
This here was my idea.
956
01:26:39,736 --> 01:26:43,614
All right. He's still fired,
and you are going to jail.
957
01:26:43,782 --> 01:26:47,076
Oh, no. Eddie, it was my fault.
958
01:26:47,911 --> 01:26:50,038
I lost my temper
when I got my bonus.
959
01:26:50,205 --> 01:26:53,291
- I guess I said things I shouldn't have.
-Bonus?
960
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:56,752
How did you get a bonus?
I cut out bonuses this year.
961
01:26:56,920 --> 01:26:59,172
Yeah. Thanks for telling us.
962
01:26:59,589 --> 01:27:03,426
I was expecting a check.
Instead I got enrolled in a jelly club.
963
01:27:03,593 --> 01:27:07,680
Seventeen years with the company. I've
gotten a bonus every year but this one.
964
01:27:07,848 --> 01:27:09,641
You don't wanna give bonuses, fine!
965
01:27:09,808 --> 01:27:12,602
But when people count on them
as part of their salary...
966
01:27:12,769 --> 01:27:15,271
...well, what you did just plain--
RUSTY: Sucks.
967
01:27:17,274 --> 01:27:18,942
Thank you, Russ.
968
01:27:20,444 --> 01:27:22,154
My...
969
01:27:22,320 --> 01:27:25,323
...cousin-in-law, whose heart
is bigger than his brain--
970
01:27:25,490 --> 01:27:27,742
I appreciate that, Clark.
971
01:27:28,410 --> 01:27:31,746
Is innocent. I'll be more than happy
to take the rap on this.
972
01:27:31,913 --> 01:27:35,416
On behalf of myself and every other
employee you rear-ended this Christmas.
973
01:27:35,417 --> 01:27:36,501
On behalf of myself and every other
employee you rear-ended this Christmas.
974
01:27:54,853 --> 01:27:56,521
Look“.
975
01:27:57,856 --> 01:28:01,025
...sometimes things look
good on paper...
976
01:28:01,193 --> 01:28:05,155
...but lose their luster when you see
how it affects real folks.
977
01:28:06,072 --> 01:28:08,407
I guess a healthy bottom line
doesn't mean much...
978
01:28:08,575 --> 01:28:11,828
...if to get it you have to hurt
the ones you depend on.
979
01:28:13,830 --> 01:28:16,749
It's people that make the difference.
980
01:28:16,917 --> 01:28:19,044
Little people, like you.
981
01:28:20,921 --> 01:28:23,840
So, Carl...
982
01:28:24,674 --> 01:28:27,134
...whatever you got last year...
983
01:28:27,302 --> 01:28:29,846
...add 20 percent.
984
01:28:31,139 --> 01:28:32,390
Our pool!
985
01:28:33,683 --> 01:28:35,601
ELLEN:
Clark?
986
01:28:37,354 --> 01:28:38,438
RUSTY:
Dad.
987
01:29:21,189 --> 01:29:22,648
(KNOCKING)
988
01:29:22,816 --> 01:29:25,401
MARGO:
Go away, Todd.
989
01:29:25,569 --> 01:29:29,072
If you wanna come in, you are gonna
have to break down the goddamn door!
990
01:29:29,072 --> 01:29:30,323
If you wanna come in, you are gonna
have to break down the goddamn door!
991
01:29:30,657 --> 01:29:32,909
(MARGO SCREAMING)
992
01:29:41,543 --> 01:29:44,754
Merry Christmas to all
and to all a good night!
993
01:29:47,507 --> 01:29:48,841
(SCREAMING)
994
01:29:56,308 --> 01:29:58,101
Freeze!
995
01:29:59,644 --> 01:30:01,937
Not you, them!
Them!
996
01:30:04,941 --> 01:30:07,234
(MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY
OVER RADIO)
997
01:30:11,197 --> 01:30:13,115
This way, please.
998
01:30:15,619 --> 01:30:19,539
- I think you've made a terrible mistake.
-I told you to freeze, mister.
999
01:30:19,706 --> 01:30:21,290
May we blink?
1000
01:30:24,878 --> 01:30:26,588
Frank.
1001
01:30:26,963 --> 01:30:28,756
- Helen!
HELEN: You're all right.
1002
01:30:28,924 --> 01:30:30,759
Oh, I'm fine.
I'm just fine.
1003
01:30:30,926 --> 01:30:32,802
It was a big misunderstanding tonight.
1004
01:30:32,969 --> 01:30:36,514
Excuse me. Would you and
Mrs. Shirley like to step outside...
1005
01:30:36,681 --> 01:30:38,766
...so we can take care
of business here?
1006
01:30:38,934 --> 01:30:41,478
There's no business.
I'm not pressing any charges.
1007
01:30:41,811 --> 01:30:43,771
- What?
-It was a mistake.
1008
01:30:43,939 --> 01:30:46,983
Mistake? Frank, honey,
you were kidnapped.
1009
01:30:47,150 --> 01:30:50,862
I did something I shouldn't have,
and these people called me on it.
1010
01:30:51,029 --> 01:30:54,073
This is Clark Griswold
and his family.
1011
01:30:54,240 --> 01:30:56,325
Welcome to our home.
1012
01:30:57,160 --> 01:30:58,578
What's left of it.
1013
01:30:58,745 --> 01:31:01,664
- Release B Squad.
-What's going on here?
1014
01:31:01,957 --> 01:31:05,460
Remember I was toying with the notion
of suspending the Christmas bonuses?
1015
01:31:05,460 --> 01:31:06,919
Remember I was toying with the notion
of suspending the Christmas bonuses?
1016
01:31:07,087 --> 01:31:10,590
You didn't. Well, of all the cheap,
lousy ways to save a buck!
1017
01:31:10,590 --> 01:31:11,924
You didn't. Well, of all the cheap,
lousy ways to save a buck!
1018
01:31:12,092 --> 01:31:15,720
That's pretty low, mister. If I had
a rubber hose, I would beat you to--
1019
01:31:15,887 --> 01:31:17,930
I changed my mind.
1020
01:31:18,390 --> 01:31:20,308
I'm reinstating the bonuses.
1021
01:31:20,558 --> 01:31:22,059
Look!
1022
01:31:23,812 --> 01:31:25,730
Look, look!
1023
01:31:27,941 --> 01:31:29,359
Look!
1024
01:31:29,526 --> 01:31:32,278
CATHRINE:
Ruby Sue, sweetheart.
1025
01:31:35,782 --> 01:31:38,242
RUBY SUE: It's Santa Claus.
RUSTY: What? What's wrong?
1026
01:31:40,036 --> 01:31:42,288
FRANCIS: What?
-She thinks she sees Santa.
1027
01:31:42,455 --> 01:31:46,250
RUBY SUE: Santa Claus.
-No, it's the Christmas star.
1028
01:31:47,085 --> 01:31:49,420
And that's all that matters tonight.
1029
01:31:50,547 --> 01:31:54,884
Not bonuses or gifts
or turkeys or trees.
1030
01:31:55,051 --> 01:31:56,844
See, kids...
1031
01:31:57,303 --> 01:32:00,097
...it means something different
to everybody.
1032
01:32:02,058 --> 01:32:04,310
Now I know what it means to me.
1033
01:32:05,854 --> 01:32:08,231
That ain't the frigging Christmas star.
1034
01:32:08,398 --> 01:32:11,484
It's a light
on the sewage treatment plant.
1035
01:32:11,651 --> 01:32:13,069
Sewer gas.
1036
01:32:15,071 --> 01:32:16,906
Don't drop that!
1037
01:32:17,157 --> 01:32:18,658
(SCREAMING)
1038
01:32:26,207 --> 01:32:28,834
(BETHANY SINGS
"THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER")
1039
01:32:41,389 --> 01:32:44,850
(SINGING)
1040
01:33:05,121 --> 01:33:06,622
Play ball!
1041
01:33:09,375 --> 01:33:12,878
(SINGING "DECK THE HALLS")
1042
01:33:14,672 --> 01:33:17,174
Merry Christmas, Sparky.
1043
01:33:17,926 --> 01:33:19,886
Merry Christmas, honey.
1044
01:33:21,638 --> 01:33:23,139
Come here.
1045
01:33:48,456 --> 01:33:50,124
I did it.
1046
01:33:53,586 --> 01:33:54,920
(CRACKING)
1047
01:36:57,228 --> 01:36:59,146
(English SDH)
87261
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