Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:22,039 --> 00:00:24,640
Wow. You got a whole world
going on in there, huh?
2
00:00:25,676 --> 00:00:26,709
Huh?
3
00:00:26,711 --> 00:00:28,644
Your... Your nightstand.
4
00:00:28,646 --> 00:00:30,046
What else have you got in there?
5
00:00:30,048 --> 00:00:33,550
Oh. I don't know, uh...
6
00:00:33,552 --> 00:00:36,129
Flashlight, earplugs,
deck of cards,
7
00:00:36,156 --> 00:00:37,019
nose spray,
8
00:00:37,021 --> 00:00:39,055
magnifying glass,
9
00:00:39,057 --> 00:00:42,492
Certs, Velamints, and
a Swiss army knife.
10
00:00:47,764 --> 00:00:50,032
I got some loose change
and a roll of caps.
11
00:00:51,935 --> 00:00:54,036
So, uh, give me
some of your stuff.
12
00:00:54,038 --> 00:00:56,906
No. Get your own stuff.
13
00:00:56,908 --> 00:00:58,040
Come on, Carrie.
14
00:00:58,042 --> 00:00:59,642
I need something big
to start my drawer.
15
00:00:59,644 --> 00:01:00,910
What's... What's that book?
16
00:01:00,912 --> 00:01:02,112
Tuesdays with Morrie.
Give me that.
17
00:01:02,114 --> 00:01:03,146
No! I am reading that.
18
00:01:03,148 --> 00:01:05,715
Now, get back to your own side.
19
00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:06,849
Fine.
20
00:01:06,851 --> 00:01:09,252
I don't need you or your drawer.
21
00:01:10,954 --> 00:01:14,056
Oh, look what rolled down.
22
00:01:14,058 --> 00:01:18,060
Cherry ChapStick. Huh?
23
00:01:18,062 --> 00:01:20,263
Mm. Oh, yeah.
24
00:01:20,265 --> 00:01:22,632
Oh, bring it. Bring
it, bring it.
25
00:01:24,201 --> 00:01:26,936
Soothing.
26
00:01:26,938 --> 00:01:27,921
Yeah, it doesn't feel so good
27
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,007
when it's turned around
on you, now, does it?
28
00:01:33,277 --> 00:01:34,577
Son of a...
29
00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:21,382
SPORTS COMMENTATOR:
And we are back.
30
00:02:21,984 --> 00:02:25,519
New York down two.
Fourteen seconds to go...
31
00:02:28,490 --> 00:02:29,723
Come on!
32
00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:31,725
Put it up, will you? No, no.
Plenty of time.
33
00:02:31,727 --> 00:02:33,527
Plenty of time. You got
to work the clock.
34
00:02:33,529 --> 00:02:34,728
Wait... Wait for your shot.
35
00:02:37,132 --> 00:02:39,533
I think that's enough waiting.
You might want to shoot it now.
36
00:02:39,535 --> 00:02:41,502
Shoot it!
37
00:02:41,504 --> 00:02:42,870
To the top of the key...
38
00:02:42,872 --> 00:02:43,905
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
39
00:02:43,907 --> 00:02:45,006
That's what I'm talking about!
40
00:02:45,008 --> 00:02:46,340
All right, boys,
41
00:02:46,342 --> 00:02:48,709
Settle in. We're looking
at some sweet overtime.
42
00:02:48,711 --> 00:02:51,279
CARRIE: Doug!
43
00:02:51,281 --> 00:02:52,713
Not now, not now.
44
00:02:52,715 --> 00:02:55,016
What's going on?
45
00:02:55,018 --> 00:02:57,285
Oh, she wants me to pick
up medicine for Arthur
46
00:02:57,287 --> 00:03:00,888
at the drugstore,
but it's overtime.
47
00:03:00,890 --> 00:03:03,191
CARRIE: Doug!
48
00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:05,293
It's all right. I got
this under control.
49
00:03:05,295 --> 00:03:08,462
Doug! Answer me!
50
00:03:08,464 --> 00:03:12,633
What, honey? I can't hear you.
I'm working on the car.
51
00:03:12,635 --> 00:03:15,369
I can see your legs.
52
00:03:15,371 --> 00:03:18,139
Yeah, I... I just finished.
53
00:03:18,141 --> 00:03:19,874
By the way, keep
your eye on the...
54
00:03:22,478 --> 00:03:25,279
CARRIE: Did you get my
dad's ear drops yet?
55
00:03:25,281 --> 00:03:27,448
I'm gonna go right
after the game.
56
00:03:27,450 --> 00:03:28,883
No, you have to go now.
57
00:03:28,885 --> 00:03:30,718
The drug store closes
in 15 minutes!
58
00:03:30,720 --> 00:03:32,820
Carrie, but it's overtime!
59
00:03:32,822 --> 00:03:34,755
Fine. Watch your stupid game.
60
00:03:36,825 --> 00:03:38,125
Putz.
61
00:03:38,127 --> 00:03:40,194
Look, Dad, Doug's
busy right now,
62
00:03:40,196 --> 00:03:41,428
and I've got all this work
63
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:42,864
that I've got to
get done tonight,
64
00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,265
so you think your
swimmer's ear thing
65
00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,299
will be okay until tomorrow?
66
00:03:45,301 --> 00:03:46,700
Because I could
pick up the drops
67
00:03:46,702 --> 00:03:47,701
first thing tomorrow morning.
68
00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:48,870
Is that okay?
69
00:03:48,872 --> 00:03:52,406
You realize I can't hear
a word you're saying?
70
00:03:54,209 --> 00:03:55,877
I'll go get the drops.
71
00:03:55,879 --> 00:03:57,711
Come again? I'll
go get the drops!
72
00:03:59,614 --> 00:04:02,350
Foul. Come on, give a foul!
73
00:04:02,352 --> 00:04:05,386
Your leg is touching me again.
74
00:04:05,388 --> 00:04:08,422
I'll be back in a little while.
75
00:04:08,424 --> 00:04:10,224
Whoa. Whoa, where you going?
76
00:04:10,226 --> 00:04:11,959
Where do you think I'm going?
77
00:04:11,961 --> 00:04:13,961
Carrie, I said I'd
get the ear drops.
78
00:04:13,963 --> 00:04:15,696
I need some cushioned
insoles anyway.
79
00:04:15,698 --> 00:04:16,998
Believe me, I want to go.
80
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,001
Well, that's touching, but
Walgreens closes at 10.
81
00:04:20,003 --> 00:04:21,568
I'll go to a different place.
82
00:04:21,570 --> 00:04:23,771
Walgreens has his
prescription on file.
83
00:04:23,773 --> 00:04:25,706
You know, I'll do it. I'll go...
84
00:04:25,708 --> 00:04:26,740
Yeah! Whoo!
85
00:04:26,742 --> 00:04:28,042
What happened?
86
00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:29,810
CARRIE: Goodbye.
87
00:04:29,812 --> 00:04:32,846
Wait a second... I'll go.
88
00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:40,221
I'm back.
89
00:04:40,223 --> 00:04:42,156
And I got your stupid insoles.
90
00:04:42,158 --> 00:04:43,657
Ow!
91
00:04:43,659 --> 00:04:45,293
Ow? They're foam!
92
00:04:45,295 --> 00:04:47,128
Where you been for so long?
It's almost 11.
93
00:04:47,130 --> 00:04:50,531
Well, I was lucky enough
to arrive at the pharmacy
94
00:04:50,533 --> 00:04:52,900
just as their
computers went down,
95
00:04:52,902 --> 00:04:54,468
so they sent me to
another drugstore
96
00:04:54,470 --> 00:04:55,836
where the computers were up...
97
00:04:55,838 --> 00:04:57,371
But no drops.
98
00:04:57,373 --> 00:04:58,839
So my father still can't hear,
99
00:04:58,841 --> 00:05:00,874
and I'm going to be up way
past midnight working.
100
00:05:00,876 --> 00:05:03,177
Thank you so much for your help.
101
00:05:03,179 --> 00:05:06,147
Look. Look at this. I'm
folding laundry. Huh?
102
00:05:06,149 --> 00:05:06,855
You know what?
103
00:05:06,880 --> 00:05:09,050
These don't fit me
so well anymore.
104
00:05:10,986 --> 00:05:13,654
Ha. You're a funny guy.
105
00:05:13,656 --> 00:05:16,623
Carrie, come on! Look,
I'm sorry, okay?
106
00:05:16,625 --> 00:05:19,327
I should've went to the
drugstore for you.
107
00:05:19,329 --> 00:05:20,995
Uh, the Knicks lost, by the way,
108
00:05:20,997 --> 00:05:22,563
if it makes you feel any better.
109
00:05:22,565 --> 00:05:23,998
Yeah, I'm dancing.
110
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,799
I swear to God, Doug,
it's like when you...
111
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:27,401
When you're in front
of that stupid TV,
112
00:05:27,403 --> 00:05:28,702
nothing else exists.
113
00:05:28,704 --> 00:05:30,737
Look, all right, I tell...
How about this.
114
00:05:30,739 --> 00:05:32,639
Tomorrow, I'll go pick up
your father's ear drops,
115
00:05:32,641 --> 00:05:34,575
and any time after this
he needs ear drops
116
00:05:34,577 --> 00:05:35,809
or nose drops
117
00:05:35,811 --> 00:05:37,411
or drops for any orifice
above the waist,
118
00:05:37,413 --> 00:05:38,312
I'm your guy.
119
00:05:40,748 --> 00:05:43,717
Hey, speaking of which,
you want to mess around?
120
00:05:43,719 --> 00:05:45,219
Okay, first of all,
121
00:05:45,221 --> 00:05:48,990
that was the worst
segue I've ever heard,
122
00:05:48,992 --> 00:05:50,391
and second of all, no.
123
00:05:50,393 --> 00:05:52,593
I've got at least two
more hours of work to do.
124
00:05:52,595 --> 00:05:55,062
Come on. I'll do that thing
that really gets you going.
125
00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:57,264
You know, the thing? You
want me to do the thing?
126
00:05:57,266 --> 00:05:59,133
You want me to do the thing.
127
00:05:59,135 --> 00:06:01,435
I'll do it. I'll do it.
I'll do the thing.
128
00:06:01,437 --> 00:06:04,405
Okay, I have no idea what
you're talking about.
129
00:06:14,816 --> 00:06:16,083
Cereal. Huh.
130
00:06:16,085 --> 00:06:17,451
I had you last night too.
131
00:06:36,171 --> 00:06:38,339
Carrie!
132
00:06:43,611 --> 00:06:45,046
Did you call me? Yeah.
133
00:06:45,048 --> 00:06:47,681
Could I see you in the garage for
a second, please? Come here.
134
00:06:51,686 --> 00:06:54,788
Huh?
135
00:06:54,790 --> 00:06:55,822
Where's your TV?
136
00:06:55,824 --> 00:06:57,124
I'm thinking it was stolen.
137
00:06:57,126 --> 00:06:59,460
Oh, my God!
138
00:06:59,462 --> 00:07:00,861
Well, how do you...
139
00:07:00,863 --> 00:07:02,263
Do you think somebody
broke in here?
140
00:07:02,265 --> 00:07:03,464
You know what,
that's one theory.
141
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:04,465
Here's another.
142
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:05,866
They came in through
the garage door
143
00:07:05,868 --> 00:07:06,900
that you left open!
144
00:07:06,902 --> 00:07:09,270
What? No. I did not!
145
00:07:09,272 --> 00:07:10,438
Did, Carrie. Did!
146
00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,639
Okay, you were the last one to use it.
It's open.
147
00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:14,408
That means... Try and
stay with me here...
148
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,976
That you left it open!
149
00:07:17,679 --> 00:07:19,980
Doug, would you stop
yelling at me, okay?
150
00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:23,084
Because I know I closed it.
I remember distinctly.
151
00:07:23,086 --> 00:07:25,018
I drove into the garage,
152
00:07:25,020 --> 00:07:29,423
got out of the car, walked
to the door, and...
153
00:07:29,425 --> 00:07:31,225
Oh.
154
00:07:31,227 --> 00:07:35,062
Oh? Innocent people don't
say, "Oh," Carrie.
155
00:07:35,064 --> 00:07:36,530
Well, my cell phone rang.
156
00:07:36,532 --> 00:07:38,566
It was my boss,
157
00:07:38,568 --> 00:07:40,968
yelling at me about the stuff
I hadn't faxed to him yet.
158
00:07:40,970 --> 00:07:43,770
I had... I had the
cell phone in one hand
159
00:07:43,772 --> 00:07:44,972
your insoles in the other,
160
00:07:44,974 --> 00:07:47,007
and I... I guess I forgot
to hit the button.
161
00:07:47,009 --> 00:07:49,009
Oh, come on!
162
00:07:49,011 --> 00:07:50,311
Well, the...
163
00:07:50,313 --> 00:07:52,779
The button's too small and
it's not lit up or anything.
164
00:07:52,781 --> 00:07:55,949
Don't you dare
blame that button.
165
00:07:55,951 --> 00:07:59,253
That button's been
nothing but good to us.
166
00:07:59,255 --> 00:08:00,887
Well, you know what?
167
00:08:00,889 --> 00:08:02,823
If you would have
picked up the ear drops
168
00:08:02,825 --> 00:08:04,458
like you said you would,
169
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:06,293
this never would have happened.
170
00:08:06,295 --> 00:08:08,162
No, that's not why it happened.
I'll tell you why it happened.
171
00:08:08,164 --> 00:08:09,563
It happened because you
wanted it to happen.
172
00:08:09,565 --> 00:08:11,465
What? You heard me.
173
00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:15,603
It all makes sense now, you know.
You hated my TV.
174
00:08:15,605 --> 00:08:17,438
So now you wished it
into the corn field
175
00:08:17,440 --> 00:08:19,006
and it's gone.
176
00:08:19,008 --> 00:08:20,974
The corn field?
177
00:08:20,976 --> 00:08:22,143
Yeah. Hi.
178
00:08:22,145 --> 00:08:23,377
Classic Twilight Zone?
Sci-fi channel?
179
00:08:23,379 --> 00:08:24,645
Ever hear of it? No?
180
00:08:24,647 --> 00:08:26,079
Hey, let me show you.
181
00:08:26,081 --> 00:08:27,914
Oh! I can't!
182
00:08:33,624 --> 00:08:35,725
Would you stop getting so upset?
183
00:08:35,750 --> 00:08:38,792
We'll just call the
insurance guy.
184
00:08:38,794 --> 00:08:39,893
Insurance? Oh, yeah.
185
00:08:42,303 --> 00:08:45,332
Yeah. We paid exactly
$2688 for it.
186
00:08:45,334 --> 00:08:49,303
Oh, I love insurance.
Great invention.
187
00:08:49,305 --> 00:08:50,804
Electronics Depot. That's right.
188
00:08:50,806 --> 00:08:52,039
Hey, you know,
189
00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,641
the price of bigscreens
has really come down.
190
00:08:53,643 --> 00:08:55,643
I should take the extra
money and get a Discman.
191
00:08:55,645 --> 00:08:57,244
You know, start power
walking, tone my abs...
192
00:08:57,246 --> 00:08:59,280
It's going to be a whole new me.
193
00:09:03,285 --> 00:09:06,887
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
194
00:09:06,889 --> 00:09:08,055
Uh-huh.
195
00:09:08,057 --> 00:09:09,590
What?
196
00:09:09,592 --> 00:09:12,125
Okay. Well, just
send us the check.
197
00:09:12,127 --> 00:09:14,728
Send the check. Send the check.
198
00:09:14,730 --> 00:09:16,630
Yeah! Ooh.
199
00:09:16,632 --> 00:09:17,898
That's awesome, man.
200
00:09:17,900 --> 00:09:19,800
Look, you screw up, I
get a brand-new TV.
201
00:09:19,802 --> 00:09:22,203
I love you, you dizzy
little dingbat.
202
00:09:22,205 --> 00:09:24,438
Uh, Doug? Yeah?
203
00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:28,842
They're only giving us $188.
204
00:09:28,844 --> 00:09:31,111
But that's not enough.
205
00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,046
I know. When I took
out the policy,
206
00:09:33,048 --> 00:09:35,782
I asked for the highest
deductible, 2500.
207
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:37,150
What did you do that for?
208
00:09:37,152 --> 00:09:38,452
To get the lowest premium.
209
00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:40,254
I didn't think we were
ever gonna get robbed.
210
00:09:40,256 --> 00:09:42,756
Well, then, why did we even get
insurance in the first place?
211
00:09:42,758 --> 00:09:45,992
Because the...
Commercial made me cry.
212
00:09:47,696 --> 00:09:49,796
And I guess that's what
you're supposed to do.
213
00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,798
Oh. Yeah. You know what
else you're supposed to do?
214
00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,367
You're supposed to
press little buttons
215
00:09:53,369 --> 00:09:55,769
that close giant doors!
216
00:09:55,771 --> 00:10:01,108
Look, Doug. I made a mistake,
and I am very, very sorry.
217
00:10:01,110 --> 00:10:03,410
But there's nothing that
we can do about it now,
218
00:10:03,412 --> 00:10:05,178
so you just have to let it go.
219
00:10:05,180 --> 00:10:06,380
Let it go? Let it g...
220
00:10:06,382 --> 00:10:07,914
Carrie, that TV was
important to me.
221
00:10:07,916 --> 00:10:09,182
If it was important to you,
222
00:10:09,184 --> 00:10:10,784
I don't think it
would be so easy
223
00:10:10,786 --> 00:10:12,152
for you to let it go.
224
00:10:12,154 --> 00:10:14,154
You know, there are other
things to do in life
225
00:10:14,156 --> 00:10:15,989
other than sitting on
your ass and watching TV.
226
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,524
Oh yeah? Like what?
227
00:10:19,026 --> 00:10:21,695
I don't know. How about I
buy you that Discman, huh?
228
00:10:21,697 --> 00:10:23,597
Work on your abs like
you said you would.
229
00:10:23,599 --> 00:10:24,998
Oh, get real.
230
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,033
That was never gonna
happen and you know it.
231
00:10:43,834 --> 00:10:45,935
I... I can't believe it.
232
00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,136
Just last night we
were sitting here...
233
00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,483
Watching...
234
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:54,219
Not a care in the world...
235
00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:56,054
Now it's gone.
236
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:58,490
You never think it'll
happen to you, huh?
237
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,658
Those bastards!
238
00:11:03,930 --> 00:11:04,930
How you doing, man?
239
00:11:04,932 --> 00:11:06,064
Look at this.
240
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:08,733
My TV had picture-in-picture
freeze frame...
241
00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,369
That's deep.
242
00:11:10,371 --> 00:11:11,403
Channel lock,
243
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,838
and a whole bunch of
other great features.
244
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,741
I never bothered to
read the manual.
245
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:19,444
I'd always thought
there'd be time.
246
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,215
5:00.
247
00:11:23,217 --> 00:11:24,482
Right about now,
we'd be watching
248
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:26,718
the college football
post-game show.
249
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,886
No, man.
250
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:29,554
We would've flipped over
to catch the end of golf.
251
00:11:29,556 --> 00:11:31,256
Golf blows. We'd be
watching the post-game show
252
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,624
or maybe Nascar.
253
00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,692
No. Come on. Wouldn't we
want a change of pace?
254
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:36,628
Like a double dose of Rhoda?
255
00:11:36,630 --> 00:11:37,796
No, I ain't watching Rhoda!
256
00:11:37,798 --> 00:11:39,231
I'm not watching Nascar.
257
00:11:39,233 --> 00:11:40,632
Would you guys stop
it, all right?
258
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,100
Look, it's gone!
259
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:43,568
Okay? There's no sports.
There's no Rhoda.
260
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:44,702
There's a wall! All right?
261
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:46,538
We can watch the rake
or the air filter.
262
00:11:46,540 --> 00:11:47,472
The choice is yours.
263
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:10,762
So where'd you get this?
264
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,464
New place.
265
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,801
I like the soup.
266
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,872
Actually it's... It's bisque.
267
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,441
What's the difference?
268
00:12:22,443 --> 00:12:24,309
I don't know.
269
00:12:27,146 --> 00:12:28,947
Actually, I think
bisque is thicker.
270
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,082
Uh-huh. Yeah.
271
00:12:30,084 --> 00:12:31,249
Yeah. Thicker. Yeah.
272
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,594
So how was your day?
273
00:12:42,596 --> 00:12:45,263
Was good.
274
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:47,499
Lots of packages.
275
00:12:48,234 --> 00:12:50,302
Yours?
276
00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:52,137
Fine, fine.
277
00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:58,410
Actually, they finally...
Gave me a new computer.
278
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:00,778
Really nice one too.
279
00:13:02,115 --> 00:13:04,282
Fast modem, big screen.
280
00:13:12,525 --> 00:13:13,658
Sorry.
281
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,239
Okay, Dad, if you
don't sit still,
282
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,840
I'm going to be cutting
more than hair.
283
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,442
Not too much off the top.
284
00:13:30,444 --> 00:13:33,311
I want that Robert Preston look.
285
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,812
Even if I knew who that was,
286
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,348
I couldn't pull it off.
287
00:13:36,350 --> 00:13:38,783
Just do your best and
lose the attitude.
288
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,954
I'm... I'm sorry, Dad.
It's just...
289
00:13:42,956 --> 00:13:44,122
I don't know.
290
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,258
Things are still weird
between Doug and me.
291
00:13:46,260 --> 00:13:48,593
It's this whole TV thing.
292
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,229
I wish I could get him to
just let this thing go.
293
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:55,633
Oh, the potent cocktail
of human emotion.
294
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,638
Hey, Dad, remember
when I was, like, 16
295
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,107
and we had that really big fight
296
00:14:02,109 --> 00:14:04,142
over some college
guy I was dating?
297
00:14:04,144 --> 00:14:07,712
Oh, yes. Russell from
SUNY Binghamton.
298
00:14:07,714 --> 00:14:09,114
Wow.
299
00:14:09,116 --> 00:14:11,483
Anyway, uh, remember
during the fight, I...
300
00:14:11,485 --> 00:14:13,251
I threw my shoe at the bookcase
301
00:14:13,253 --> 00:14:14,786
and it broke
302
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,921
your favorite Herb Alpert &
the Tijuana Brass album?
303
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:21,226
Herb Alpert? No. No. It was
my Allan Sherman record.
304
00:14:21,228 --> 00:14:23,562
No. It was the Herb
Alpert record.
305
00:14:23,564 --> 00:14:25,029
But anyway, that's
not the point.
306
00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,864
You were so mad at me
307
00:14:26,866 --> 00:14:29,201
for breaking that record.
308
00:14:29,203 --> 00:14:33,405
What... What was it that
made you finally forgive me?
309
00:14:33,407 --> 00:14:37,008
You want to know
why I forgave you?
310
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:38,843
Because you're my daughter
311
00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:40,345
and I love you.
312
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:45,117
My God, your head is tiny.
313
00:14:47,353 --> 00:14:48,853
Anyway, so that was it?
314
00:14:48,855 --> 00:14:50,955
You forgave me
because you love me?
315
00:14:50,957 --> 00:14:53,625
Well, also because you went out
and spent your hard-earned money
316
00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,160
to replace my record.
317
00:14:55,162 --> 00:14:56,728
I never replaced it.
318
00:14:56,730 --> 00:14:58,029
Of course you did.
319
00:14:58,031 --> 00:15:00,198
It's right on my shelf.
320
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:05,437
I exercised this morning to
"Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah."
321
00:15:05,439 --> 00:15:07,339
Yes. That's because I
never broke that record.
322
00:15:07,341 --> 00:15:09,474
I broke your Herb Alpert record.
323
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:10,609
Did you?
324
00:15:10,611 --> 00:15:11,943
Yes.
325
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,613
South of the Border. I
smashed it to bits.
326
00:15:14,615 --> 00:15:16,881
Oh, so that's why I haven't
heard it in 15 years.
327
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:21,686
Carrie Spooner, I'm very
disappointed with you.
328
00:15:21,688 --> 00:15:23,087
Leave the room!
329
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,391
Thanks for the talk, Dad.
330
00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,059
Sorry, pussycat.
331
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,728
Kiss won't save you this time.
332
00:15:36,302 --> 00:15:38,203
So she was just screaming at me.
333
00:15:38,205 --> 00:15:42,106
Finally I just said,
"Lady, two words: FedEx."
334
00:15:42,108 --> 00:15:43,408
You're lucky.
335
00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:45,610
I had to deliver to the guy
wearing a towel again.
336
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,479
Ooh. Yeah. It's brutal.
337
00:15:47,481 --> 00:15:48,913
You know. He's moving
and he's signing...
338
00:15:48,915 --> 00:15:52,016
I just don't have
faith in that tuck.
339
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:53,951
Hey. Want to get your
ass kicked in Foosball?
340
00:15:53,953 --> 00:15:55,153
Yeah. Let's do it. Come on.
341
00:15:55,155 --> 00:15:56,788
I tell you, you know,
at this point,
342
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,590
I just want the towel
to fall, you know?
343
00:15:58,592 --> 00:15:59,891
Get it over with.
344
00:15:59,893 --> 00:16:02,860
I'm just tired of
living in fear.
345
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:06,565
Whoa.
346
00:16:06,567 --> 00:16:07,999
What the...
347
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:13,638
"Doug, I love you,
348
00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,107
"and I really don't want to
spend the rest of my life
349
00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:18,510
"being the person who left
the garage door open.
350
00:16:18,512 --> 00:16:21,413
"So I got you this used,
but still very large TV.
351
00:16:21,415 --> 00:16:23,848
"And don't say we
can't afford it,
352
00:16:23,850 --> 00:16:25,049
"because I'm going
to work overtime
353
00:16:25,051 --> 00:16:26,084
"to pay it off.
354
00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,385
"Carrie.
355
00:16:27,387 --> 00:16:30,422
And don't worry.
I'm not hooking."
356
00:16:36,596 --> 00:16:39,097
Man, she bought me a TV!
357
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:42,934
I know. You read
the note out loud.
358
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:45,270
What an unbelievable
woman I married.
359
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:48,440
I mean, I've been acting
like such a baby about this.
360
00:16:49,609 --> 00:16:50,908
Oh, man.
361
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:55,213
I hate my ugly... Suck... Face!
362
00:16:58,651 --> 00:17:00,452
DOUG: Carrie? Honey?
363
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:16,234
Dear Carrie,
364
00:17:16,236 --> 00:17:22,073
You are the best wife ever.
365
00:17:22,075 --> 00:17:25,310
As long as they don't steal you,
366
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:27,979
I have everything I need.
367
00:17:27,981 --> 00:17:30,682
I love you.
368
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:34,386
Okay. Spell check. Spell check.
369
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:36,921
There we go.
370
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:40,057
Nine errors. Wow.
371
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:44,128
Oh, well.
372
00:17:53,773 --> 00:17:55,707
I broke her computer?
373
00:17:55,709 --> 00:17:59,277
No. I did. I just need
you to say that you did.
374
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:00,645
Why would I say that?
375
00:18:00,647 --> 00:18:02,447
Because I've been giving
her all kinds of crap
376
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,481
about getting my TV stolen.
377
00:18:03,483 --> 00:18:05,149
She'll think I did
this out of spite.
378
00:18:05,151 --> 00:18:06,384
I just couldn't handle it.
379
00:18:06,386 --> 00:18:08,553
That's true. You're
decent, but weak.
380
00:18:08,555 --> 00:18:11,289
Look, if you tell her that
you did it by accident,
381
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:12,924
she's not going to
get mad at you.
382
00:18:12,926 --> 00:18:14,091
You're her father.
383
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:16,795
You know, plus, you break
things all the time.
384
00:18:16,797 --> 00:18:19,698
So she's used to that.
385
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:22,534
Come on. What do you...
What do you say?
386
00:18:22,536 --> 00:18:25,760
All right. I'll take the
bullet for you, Douglas.
387
00:18:25,785 --> 00:18:27,034
Thank you. There you go.
388
00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:27,840
Okay. Now you...
389
00:18:27,865 --> 00:18:29,374
You say you were up there.
You were borrowing a pen,
390
00:18:29,376 --> 00:18:30,809
and, uh, you turned to walk away
391
00:18:30,811 --> 00:18:32,210
and your foot
caught on the cord,
392
00:18:32,212 --> 00:18:33,244
and bam!
393
00:18:33,246 --> 00:18:34,646
The computer fell on the floor.
Okay?
394
00:18:34,648 --> 00:18:36,180
No.
395
00:18:36,182 --> 00:18:37,382
Why not?
396
00:18:37,384 --> 00:18:38,916
It's ludicrous. She
wouldn't believe it.
397
00:18:38,918 --> 00:18:40,352
Arthur, that's exactly
how I broke it.
398
00:18:40,354 --> 00:18:41,753
I tripped on the cord.
399
00:18:41,755 --> 00:18:44,756
Yes, but I'm nimble. I
move like a dancer.
400
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:48,326
Fine. What do you
want to say, then?
401
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,429
Let's see. Okay. Got it.
402
00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:52,530
Early this morning,
403
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,432
I received a telegram
from the war department.
404
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,901
Oh, God.
405
00:18:56,903 --> 00:18:59,404
So it was only after I yanked
the computer off the desk
406
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:00,538
that I realized
407
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:03,107
the smoke was actually
just steam from my coffee.
408
00:19:08,508 --> 00:19:11,077
What were you even
doing in my office?
409
00:19:13,085 --> 00:19:15,186
I have no further comment.
410
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:20,725
Look, the important thing
is everyone's okay.
411
00:19:20,727 --> 00:19:24,061
Wait a minute.
412
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:26,264
Did you do this
to get back at me
413
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,867
for breaking your
Tijuana Brass record?
414
00:19:28,869 --> 00:19:32,704
Hey, if I had, I'd be
fully within my rights.
415
00:19:32,706 --> 00:19:33,971
I cannot believe you.
416
00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:36,307
I had all of my files
in that computer.
417
00:19:36,309 --> 00:19:38,777
I broke that stupid
record 15 years ago.
418
00:19:38,779 --> 00:19:41,112
Yes, but it stings
like it was yesterday.
419
00:19:41,114 --> 00:19:42,580
DOUG: You know what?
420
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,449
This sounds like a private
father-daughter thing, honey.
421
00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,951
I'll be out there
watching my new TV.
422
00:19:46,953 --> 00:19:48,520
Thanks again. I love you.
423
00:19:48,522 --> 00:19:49,721
And for what it's worth, Arthur,
424
00:19:49,723 --> 00:19:51,523
I think you're a
little out of line.
425
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:52,891
He did it!
426
00:19:52,893 --> 00:19:54,225
CARRIE: Oh, please.
427
00:20:06,613 --> 00:20:10,083
♪ Hello, Muddah Hello, Fadduh ♪
428
00:20:10,085 --> 00:20:14,254
♪ Here I am at Camp Granada
429
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:18,157
♪ Camp is very entertaining
430
00:20:18,159 --> 00:20:20,419
♪ And they say We'll
have some fun ♪
431
00:20:20,444 --> 00:20:22,395
♪ If it stops raining
432
00:20:22,397 --> 00:20:26,499
♪ I went hiking
With Joe Spivey ♪
433
00:20:26,501 --> 00:20:30,236
♪ He developed poison ivy
434
00:20:30,238 --> 00:20:34,640
♪ You remember Leonard Skinner? ♪
435
00:20:34,642 --> 00:20:38,811
♪ He got ptomaine poisoning
Last night after dinner ♪
436
00:20:38,813 --> 00:20:42,848
♪ All the counselors
Hate the waiters ♪
437
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:43,983
♪ And...
30663
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof