All language subtitles for 0888

From the raw
Australia of the 1900s

comes a turbulent saga
that spans the decades...

in Colleen McCullough's
bestselling novel,

The Thorn Birds.

The story of an
ambitious priest,

a beautiful woman,

and a love that
lasted a lifetime.

You could marry me.

You love me.

But I love God more.

His ambition took him
from the woman he loved

to the corridors of power.

Her desire brought her

to the man she thought
could take his place.

I've got my own
announcement to make.

I'm going to marry
Luke O'Neill.

But her heart

was with the man
she could never have.

What I wouldn't give if she
was yours instead of Luke's.

God knows how much
I've hurt you,

but I do love you.

Meghann's my wife,
not yours.

Then be a husband to her,
man.

What kind of God

would shut men out of paradise
for loving women?

A God I still can't
give up for you.

And tonight,
the story continues.

I found a pleasure in her
I never dreamed existed.

Meghann,
what are you doing here?

You complacent,

conceited-

Meghann, shut up!

I've come back.

Will you tell Ralph?

What should I tell him?

That he has a son.

And from generation
to generation,

their desire and torment
live on...

from the London stage
to the islands of Greece,

and back to Australia.

What else have I ever done
but pay for the great sin

of loving
Ralph de Bricassart?!

Featuring Christopher
Plummer...

Piper Laurie...

Earl Holliman...

Ken Howard...

Mare Winningham...

Phillip Anglim...

Jean Simmons...

Bryan Brown...

Rachel Ward...

and Richard Chamberlain.

A love unattainable...

forbidden...

forever.

The Thorn Birds.

Himmelhoch's
the same as ever,

but we missed you,
Meggie.

Anne's dying
to see you.

Oh, go ahead.
I'll get your bag.

Wait till you
see little Justine.

Jussie remembers me,
all right.

Ralph did come,
didn't he?

What was I to do? When he saw
you weren't here,

I thought the man was
going die on the spot,

and he already looked like

he'd been haunting
houses as it was,

and I thought maybe

he might even need to
give it all up for you.

And you can
still look so happy?

I'll never have what you
and Luddie have together,

but I can live forever
on those few days with Ralph

if I have to.

And far better that

than watching him grow
to hate me more each day

for keeping him
from what he thinks he needs.

You'll be leaving us.

Yes.

Ralph,
welcome back to Rome.

You have chosen.

You said I must

if I'm to go on
in the Church.

But having chosen,
how can I go on?

I have broken...

all my vows.

You went to the rose.

Yes!

Vittorio...

I never felt such ecstasy
in God's presence

as I felt with her.

I found a pleasure in her
I never dreamed existed.

Not just in her body...

but because
I loved to be with her...

to smile at her...

talk with her...

share her food,
share her thoughts.

I wanted
never to leave her.

But you left her.

You found the strength
to leave her.

But I haven't
let go of her.

That's what wounds me,

and I don't know
how to heal myself!

Perhaps you're not meant to.

Perhaps that wound
has saved you.

Do you remember

the Greek story
of Hippolytus?

The play we saw in Athens?
Yes.

Yes. He was killed
because he couldn't love.

No.

Because he was
too proud

to love...

Too arrogant

to count himself
among mortal men.

Yes, your vows are broken.

But so, too,

let us hope it's
that proud spirit

that kept you

from the thing
you wanted most.

You see,

one cannot truly
be a priest

without the humility
to understand

that one is first a man.

When you think
of your rose,

think that it was she

that led you
to understand that.

No.

Oh, no.

To see her only as...

as some means
of saving me

would be the greatest
arrogance of all.

She loves, Vittorio,
despite everything.

And with a singleness
of mind and heart.

If only I...

could love like that.

Oh, Anne.

How can I ever thank you?

You've been more
like parents to me

than my own ever were.

Oh, rubbish!

We'll be down to see you
in Drogheda, one day,

won't we, Luddie?

I wouldn't mind
having a look at it.

Come on, Jussie.

Hold on to him.

There are few enough
like him.

Thank God!

Yep. Well...

The outfit's
perfect, Meggie.

Wish I could see
the farewell performance!

Bye.

Take him down!
Take him down!

That's a takedown!
That's a takedown!

Hello, Luke.

Meghann,
what are you doing here?

What the hell do you mean
coming here with the kid?

That's right, you've never
seen her, have you?

Luke, this is Justine.

If you've come
with another of your

"let's settle down
in our nest" speeches...

Ha! Is that what you think?

Wasn't it enough you sending
your damn Roman priest

here after me?

What are you
talking about?

Aw, come on,
when I wouldn't take

your precious
Father Ralph's money.

You sent him here to beg
for you, didn't you?

I haven't seen him since
the day Justine was born.

It sounds like him, though,
like all meddling priests.

He'd be only too happy
to see me settle down

with half a dozen
more bloody brats!

Yeah, well, that's what
you want, isn't it?

I was stupid
enough to think so.

Thanks to you, Luke,

I've had plenty of time
to get around

and to find out
what I've been missing

and to realize that
the last thing I want

is to be stuck out
in some dried up station

in Western Queensland
with you

for the rest of my life!

Meghann, shut up!

That would be
my big reward, wouldn't it?

After wasting God knows
how many years

waiting while you try
to prove you're a real man,

when you're not

and you never will be,

so I'm leaving you.

Leaving?
Oh, no, you're not.

Cheer up, Luke.

You still got
your mate Arne.

Maybe you'll
be more use to him

because you're none to me!

And if I did
want to have more kids,

it wouldn't be hard
to find a better breeder,

'cause I found
out something else lately.

You complacent,

conceited,

self-centered bastard!

You can't
make love for toffee!

Oh, and about the money

you stole from me, Luke...

take it!

I'm happy to sacrifice it.

On one condition.

Don't ever make me
set eyes on you again,

not as long as I live.

Take me to Dungloe Station.

Mail truck's coming!

Oh, good!

I hope he's brought
my pastry flour.

Bob, Jack, it's me!
I'm home.

Yoo-hoo!

Meghann,
what are you doing here?

Oh, my God!

Mrs. Cleary!

Mrs. Cleary, come!

Oh, Meggie, it's you!
You've come back!

Oh, what a surprise!

Oh, what have we here?

Couldn't you tell a person
you were coming?

Oh, look at
this little angel.

Where's Luke?

Coming later,
no doubt.

Mum.

I've come back...

to stay.

So you've
left Luke then?

He didn't want me

or his children.

Children?

Yes.

I'm going to have
another baby.

Dane. I knew
he'd be beautiful.

He's got the Cleary mouth,
all right.

Yeah, he's a bonzer
little bloke.

But can he
sit a horse?

He will, he will.

Jussie, Jussie.
There you are.

Look... look at what's here.

Come here, darling.

Look at your new
little brother Dane.

Jussie!

It's all right, darling.

It's all right.

Take care
of yourself, Meggie.

Rest, well, Meggie.

See you later.

Mum... wouldn't you
like to hold Dane?

Will you tell Ralph?

Father de Bricassart?
I don't know.

What should I tell him?

That he has a son.

Mum...

how could you?

That's insane.

Don't lie to me,
Meggie, not to me.

I knew it the moment
you came home.

That's why you came home.

You had what you wanted.

You didn't need
Luke anymore.

No. I told you
Luke didn't want me!

Meggie...

I've been watching you

and Ralph de Bricassart
for years.

All he ever had to do

was crook his little finger
and you went running,

but it was
the same for him

from the moment
he laid eyes on you.

Poor Ralph.

When he came here last year
and found you married and gone,

I knew that sooner or later
he would have to go to you,

and he did, didn't he?

You're very cruel, Mum.

Mum, I think that you of all
people would understand...

because of Frank.

Well, well.

You can give
as good as you get.

How long have you known?

Since I was a little girl.

Since Frank went away.

Mum.

I was 16 when I met him.

He was everything
that Paddy wasn't.

Sophisticated,
cultured,

charming.

I thought I couldn't
live without him.

But he was an important man,

a politician.

And already married.

He wasn't about to sacrifice
all that for me.

I was nothing
to his noble ambition...

just as you're
nothing to Ralph's.

I know I can
never have Ralph,

but at least
I've got part of him

the Church can never have.

Oh, yes. That's what I thought.

To take of him what I could.

To have his child
to love at least.

But what have I got now?

I lost Frank.

I paid in the worst way

a mother could.

And you're going
to pay too.

Believe me,
God will see to that.

You think I haven't
paid already?

What else have I ever done

but pay for the great sin

of loving Ralph de Bricassart?

All my life I've trod
the straight and narrow

for fear of God almighty!

And what did it get me
but a broken heart!

Oh, no, Mum, I'm not afraid
of God anymore.

And as for Ralph,

he'll never know Dane's his,

unless you tell him.

And if you do, I warn you,

I'll be as merciful to you

as you have always been to me!

Oh, yes,
you'll beat God himself...

as I did.

I have beaten God.

Dane's mine and nothing's
gonna take him from me.

Hello!

Hello!

"He has outsoared
the shadow of our night.

"Envy and calumny
and hate and pain

"and that unrest
which men miscall delight

"can touch him not
and torture not again.

"From the contagion
of the world's slow stain

"he is secure.

"And now can never mourn
a heart grown cold,

a head grown gray in vain."

No, no, no!
You forgot again.

It's "he lives, he wakes.

Tis death is dead, not..."

Good day. We were
just pretending.

Can we help you, sir?

I've come to see the Clearys.

Uncle Jack's taken everyone
to Sydney

for Christmas shopping.

They'll be back soon.

Oh, if it's about
the stud rams...

you must be Meggie's boy Dane.

Yes, sir.

I'm Cardinal de Bricassart.

But your eminence...

we weren't expecting you
until tomorrow.

Are you actually
the cardinal?

You're disappointed.

Well, I did think
you'd arrive all decked out,

trailing clouds of glory
or something.

Jussie!

You'll have to come
to the Vatican for that.

Pity. I bet you're
smashing in red.

I'm Justine, by the way.

Could we dispense
with the ring business?

I'm afraid I think religion
is rather a load of codswallop.

Jussie!

It's all right, Dane.

Justine and I
are old friends...

and the first time we met,
you wet on me as I remember.

Mother's going to be
so happy to see you.

It must be 20 years
since I was here last.

Hello, my darling.

Mum, look who's here.

Father Ralph.

Hello, Meggie.

Isn't it wonderful?

Wonderful.

I was ready
to administer last rites.

There was Dane,

evidently past all hope,

and you were
very convincing, my dear.

Our Jussie considers herself
quite the actress.

Thanks, Mum.

Actually,
I'm rather good,

as you might discover

if you'd ever come
to a performance.

Jussie's wonderful.

She's the best one
in the theater group.

Well, if you ask me, I think
it's a lot of nonsense, Jussie.

You what, just turned 20?
Best be thinking of marriage

instead of parading up and down
some stage in Sydney.

Marriage, Uncle Bob?

And spoil the family tradition?

Anyway, I hardly think
I'm gonna waste my talent

wiping snotty noses

and salaaming to some joker
just because he's my husband.

Jussie.

Charmingly phrased,
Jussie, as always.

It looks as though it will be
up to Dane

to keep the Cleary
clan from dying out.

Oh, Mum,
have a heart.

Well, you better have
a houseful of sons handy

when you take over Drogheda,
lad.

The way we've been growin'.

Yes, you've been doing
splendidly since the war.

I'd say so.

Why, our yield
this year alone

could have bought
and sold Mary Carson

several times over.

And I think 1955
could be even better,

so I don't think we've
given the Mother Church

much to complain of.

Now, Mum, if the Mother Church
hadn't owned us,

the bloody government
would've broken us up.

Why, MacQueen's place
is down to half its size.

Think of that, Ralph.

One day, Dane will be the head
of the only truly great station

left in all
of New South Wales.

Hear, hear.

I can't imagine a better
future for you, Dane.

Hear, hear.

So, Judy, still here
on Drogheda?

Well, I was meaning
to go, of course.

Was it 30 years?
More than 30.

That long?
Why, I remember so well

when you were queen
of the Gilly Fair.

I was, wasn't I?

Nanna Fee,
look at that hat.

Why, Jussie, that was considered
quite smart in my day.

Mum, you amaze me.

I had no idea you'd
kept these photographs

all these years.

I've only looked at them
once since the fire, myself.

I thought it was time
the children saw them.

Now, this is your
grandfather Paddy,

little Hal, and Stuie.

Dear Stuie.

He's the one
I remind you of, Mum?

Yes, he is, darling,

in so many ways.

Who's this hero
in the gloves?

Never a Cleary, surely?

Jus.

Oh, that's all right, Jussie.

This is my Frank.

It was in his things

the prison sent back
to me when he died.

Mum, is this you?

Oh, you were beautiful.

Were?

Ah, the cruelty of youth.

What a lovely dress.

Blue, wasn't it?

No, Mum. Yours was blue.

Meggie's dress was rose.

Ashes of roses
it was called,

and in it, she was
the most beautiful thing

any of us had ever seen.

It never really changes,
does it?

Not even after all these years
of silence between us.

Only that you're lovelier
than ever.

Much lovelier
than that girl

in her
ashes of roses gown.

It's because
I'm so happy.

When you left me
on Matlock Island,

I thought it was forever.

And here you are
again... so soon.

Why now?

When you have everything
you said you wanted.

Everything...

except what I had with you
on Matlock Island.

In all these years
since then,

I've fought against
my need for you...

but I couldn't bear
to leave this life

without being
with you again.

You're not ill?

Oh, no.

Just getting old.

Feeling my mortality,
like any man.

And God help me,
after all these years...

it still hurts.

That after Matlock Island,
you could go back to Luke,

give him a son.

You must never think
of Dane as Luke's son

or as anyone's but mine.

You love Dane very much,
don't you?

Almost too much,
I sometimes think...

as I've always
loved you too much.

Father, it's gonna be
a scorcher of a day.

Perhaps we'd best
take the jeep instead.

It might be wiser,
Ralph.

It must be years
since you've ridden,

and we're none of us
any younger, are we?

Well, I'll just try
to struggle along

if you're sure
she's nice and gentle.

Shall we?

Ho! Come on!

Yee-haw!

Be careful!

Dane's very taken
with him, Meggie.

He's never
had a father.

Let him enjoy Ralph
while he can.

I thought you might
tell Ralph after all.

Who would it serve?

Who does it serve not to?

Oh, Mum.

I honestly think
you're disappointed

I haven't been struck by some
retributive bolt of lightning.

I'm happy for
once in my life.

Can't you let me
enjoy it?

Where's Dane?

Damn!
I wanted to tell him.

Jussie, what on Earth
are you doing?

I'm off to tread the boards,
Mum.

They just phoned me
from the theater.

Seems our Mrs. Cratchit's
got the pip.

God bless us
every one.

You're going
back to Sydney?

Uncle Jack's flying me down.

Jussie, it's Christmas!

Yes, Mother.

That's often when one stages
Dickens' Christmas Carol.

Jussie, you know how much
this Christmas means to me

with Ralph here.

Well, I am understudy.

I mean, I really shouldn't have
come home as it was.

Well, that's just
wonderful, isn't it?

Yes, I think it is.

Really, Mum, you might
be happy for me.

I may get to do as many
as a dozen performances.

My God, girl.
You are exactly like-

My father?

So you've said.

I should look him up one day.

We'd have lots to talk about.

Ta, Nanna Fee.

It means a great deal
to me to have you here.

I realize you know
very little about me,

but I've wanted for
so long to know you,

to talk with you.

Father...

did you ever have any regrets

about entering the priesthood?

Well, yes. Inevitably,
I suppose.

I've missed things.

A woman to share my life.

Perhaps even a son like you.

I would've liked that,
Dane, very much.

What caused you
to make your decision

to become a priest?

Well, curiously,

it wasn't really like
a conscious decision.

More like something
you've always known,

from the first.

My fate, you might say.

Father...

I also want to be a priest.

Dane.

Why?

When you could do
anything with your life,

be anything.

How can you say that?

When you are everything
I want to be.

Oh, Dane, no.

You know nothing
of the man I am.

You look at me
and see the cardinal,

the prince of the Church.

I see the priest,

the perfect priest.

Then you're wrong.

To say it was my fate
to be a priest

is not to say it was
given to me like a gift.

An entire lifetime of trying

to offer myself up
totally to God

has brought me no more than...

moments of oneness with him...

and I have broken every vow.

Do you understand?

Every vow.

I have not been equal

to the sacrifice God asks.

But you have spent
your life trying.

Father, when I said
the perfect priest,

I didn't mean some
infallible being.

I mean someone who
strives to do God's will.

Maybe I won't be equal
to the sacrifice either...

but if I don't try...

my life will have no meaning.

It's the only way
I know to show God

how much I love him.

Do you know what this will
mean to your mother?

It's why I've tried for so long

to put it out of my mind.

I know how important
it is to her

to have me stay on here
in Drogheda,

and I love her so much.

But...

I must do this.

Then you must
let me help you, son.

I'll tell her
because I love her too.

Don't!

Don't touch me!

Please believe me.

Dane's mind was made up
long before I arrived.

Oh, I believe you!

Don't you think
I don't know

you're just here
to collect for what I stole?

I don't understand.

No, you wouldn't,

but understanding's
rather beside the point

for you men of God, isn't it?

Faith! That's the great thing!

Well, let me tell you, Ralph,

I've got more faith
than you and Dane

than all the heavenly hosts
combined

'cause God has never failed me!

He's always there to take away
whatever happiness I've got!

Dane isn't being taken from you.

He's simply doing what he must.

Can't you see what
this is costing him?

He loves you...

so much.

But Ralph...

he loves God more!

Meggie, stop it!

When I became a priest,

my mother swore
she'd never forgive me

and she never did.

Don't do that
to Dane, Meggie.

Then take him.

If I must give him up,
let it be to you.

Take him?

Yes.

When he finishes
his schooling this spring,

I'll send him to you in Rome

where you can look after him.

Keep him safe...

and promise me that
if he should ever wish it,

you'll send him back.

Because he belonged
to me first.

You don't have to do this.

I can see that he's settled

in a seminary in Sydney
where you can be near him.

You know it takes years

to prepare for the priesthood.

No, Ralph.

Your God wants reparation.

Very well.

Let Dane go to you,

and then I'll have nothing
more to repay.

I will have given everything

that I have ever had or loved

in my whole life.

Surely even God
can't ask for more than that.

I'm so sorry.

Please forgive me.

I didn't want
to hurt you.

"In loving wrongly,
and beyond all reason,

"I have sinned
against the gods.

"I tremble that the burden

"of my crime
will fall upon my children,

fell them both."

You're going to be
a wonderful Phaedra.

I mean, if I had
talent like that...

believe me, Martha,

talent you don't need.

The virgin goddess
Artemis

bids you enter.

Darling!

Was my performance
that good?

Oh, Jus,
I'm so sorry.

I missed
the whole matinee.

Let me guess.

You were just having
a little talk with Jesus

and forgot
all about the time.

Dane, honestly!

Let me finish dressing.

I won't be a minute.

Hello.

I haven't seen you
in a long time.

Oh, h-hello, Martha.

Uh, how are you?

Stunned, as always,

by your resemblance
to Adonis.

Maybe I'll wait
in the park.

Never mind.
I'm going.

Another time.

Ta-ta.

Ta.

Poor Martha.

She'll
never forgive you

for saving it
all for God.

Oh, which reminds me.

Guess what
I did last night?

Ah, you finally murdered
your leading man.

Close. I went to bed
with him.

I needed the experience.

I play the lead
in Phaedra next,

so I have to know about
passion, right?

Right?

Jussie...

all this pretending
you don't care,

as if you're much too smart
to need anyone

or love anyone.

Well, maybe
I am too smart.

So far, loving
and needing people

hasn't bought me
a lot, has it?

Are you ever going
to forgive me?

For becoming
Father Rhubarb?

Probably not.

When do you
leave for rome?

Thursday.

I want to go spend
some time with Mum first.

I wish you'd visit
Mum sometimes.

I know things have never
been very good between you two.

Yes, I used to weep
salt tears about it,

but I'm done
with tears forever, okay?

Anyway, I can't go

and hold
Mum's hand for you

because I won't be here,
either.

What do you mean?

I've decided I've
far too much talent

to stay buried here
in Aussie land,

so I'm taking myself
off to London

after Phaedra's
finished, of course.

London? That means
I'll get to see you.

Dane, I've always
taken care of you.

You surely can't
expect to get along

without me now,
can you?

I love you.

I couldn't sleep
either.

What time does your
plane leave from Sydney?

Not till
late tomorrow.

Do you want to fly down
with Uncle Jack

and see me off?

It's freezing in here.

You'll catch your death.

Mum...

Come on.

I've always
loved your bed...

the way
it smells of you.

I remember when
I used to come in

in the cold mornings.

Jussie would
sort of...

lurk about
in the doorway,

half in
and half out.

I wonder if you realize
how much she needed you.

You've always
been so different

from one another.

I guess I thought

she never really
needed me.

She did.

And does.

She loves you every
bit as much as I do.

Well, I'm glad she's
going to be near you.

We've got it
all planned out.

Every year when I get time off
from the seminary,

we're going to tour

and visit a different
country together,

then fly home
for Christmas.

It's not as if I'm
going away forever, is it?

No.

Oh, Dane.

There's so much that
I wanted to say to you.

To tell you that you've
brought my life joy...

and meaning in ways
that you can never know.

It hurts to leave you.

I wish you
could understand.

But I do.

And it's that
that I most wanted

to say to you, Dane.

I can't share
your love of God,

but I do understand
your need

to give your life
to him...

because each of us
has within us

something that just
won't be denied...

something to which
we are driven,

even though it
makes us

scream
aloud to die.

Has it been
like that for you, Mum?

Dane, goodbye.

Goodbye.

Cappuccino
for you.

Grazie.

How do you do?

I'm Rainer Hartheim.
Welcome to rome.

Well, you have
a terrific approach,

Mr. Hartman,
but I don't think

I'll be needing
a tour guide.

Bitte?

You are Miss O'Neill?
Dane's sister?

Yes.

Is Dane all right?

He was supposed to
meet me at the station.

Ah, Dane. He was also
to leave you a message here

saying that I
would bring you along.

Along?

To tea with
Cardinal de Bricassart.

Shall we?

Well, why not?

You look
safe enough.

Do I?

How very
disappointing.

I must say, you don't
look at all like Dane.

So they tell me.
Look... Herr Hartman-

Hartheim.

Rainer Moerling Hartheim.

All that?

Impressive.

Isn't it?
I chose it myself.

Who are you, exactly?

Just an old friend of
Cardinal de Bricassart.

I see.

And do all his friends

have those little flags
on their fenders?

I'm a member of
the West German Parliament.

I make a point

of visiting the cardinal
whenever I'm in rome.

Remarkable man,
the cardinal.

A matter of taste,
I suppose.

You're not like
your brother, are you?

No. I'm
the comic relief.

Bitte?

Sorry.

It's just it's always
been rather difficult

measuring up
to Dane,

his being so
Christlike and all.

I gather it's a case
of sibling rivalry.

No. None.

It's strange, isn't it?

By rights, I should
resent him terribly,

but in fact, I've
always adored him.

Good Lord!

Do you always
do this?

What?

Go about
worming intimate facts

from perfect strangers.

Whenever possible.

And...

I doubt
that you're perfect.

Ah! Here we are.

Crikey!

Well... I always wanted
to play the Vatican.

The latest reports
from our U.N. observer

are not encouraging.

Your Eminence.

My dear Justine,

you
disappoint me.

Just rendering unto
Caesar, Your Eminence.

Besides, I'm determined
not to embarrass Dane.

Well, I won't
hold you to it.

Come. I want you to meet
Cardinal Contini-Verchese.

Really, darling,

must I meet
the entire team?

Uh, Miss O'Neill...

Dane tells me
you're an actress.

In London, yes.

How exciting.

And, uh... what play
are you doing now?

I'll start Joan of Arc
in January.

I see.

Well...

no doubt you will
be quite splendid.

After this,
I'll be better.

I get the feeling

that our little world
antagonizes you, my dear.

Oh, I suppose it
shouldn't, really.

One doesn't
often get

such good theater,

it's very male,
though, isn't it?

I mean, what,
with the exception

of the Virgin Mary,
women

are rather relegated
to the cheap seats,

in the
upper balcony?

Ah, but you
are forgetting

that we call
that upper balcony

il paradiso...

paradise.

Your Eminence.

Grazie.
Thank you.

I'll see you
when I return.

Thank you,
Your Eminence.

So you are now
looking forward

to your holiday?

Cardinal, it's been
a fascinating afternoon.

You Cleary women!

Forever
pitting yourselves

against God
and the Church.

Our fate, perhaps.

Or maybe
it's hereditary...

a sort of bad seed.

There's
little question

you're descended from
Mary Carson, anyway.

And from your mother.

Much as Mum
might wish otherwise.

Fortunately,

we Cleary women have Dane
to pray for our redemption.

You feel very protective
toward Dane, don't you?

And I think...

rather fearing
for him,

here among we
red-robed vultures.

Even I wouldn't have put it
that uncharitably.

But it is
pretty fast company

for a boy
whose only ambition

is to give
his soul to God.

Touché, my dear.

You're very young
to be so cynical.

And so wise.

Rainer will
take care of you.

How very
disappointing.

A bit of fresh pasta...

a green salad...

exquisite!

Here.

You know, when you
suggested dinner,

I had some mad idea we'd
end up in a restaurant.

An understandable error.

Grazie, Giovanni.

I thought you
lived in Germany.

Yes, but I'm often
here in Rome,

so I keep this place.

I've another
in London as well.

I seem to need to make
a home for myself

wherever I go.

Perhaps because
I was orphaned as a child.

Bit of posh life
for an orphan,

wouldn't you say?
And if you're

all that domesticated,
why not marry?

I did once...

but for the worst
of reasons.

I'm sure
I'll never marry...

not for any reason.

No? But why?

Well, for starters,
there's my work.

Oh, come, now.

You're saying that
an actress can't marry?

Oh... some can,
of course.

But each of us

has only so much
to give, haven't we?

And just imagine...

on the stage, I can commit
suicide or murder.

I can go mad,

sacrifice myself for love,

save men or ruin 'em.

Compared to all that,

I suppose marriage
does sound rather dull.

You seem to have forgotten

that there is an excellent
reason to marry.

Falling in love.

Oh, that.

Of course that.
What could be better?

Almost anything,
I think.

The truth is,
if you love people,

they kill you.

If you need people,
they kill you.

So I don't want to
need anyone, not ever.

How very sad.

It's what I want...
most of all.

Then I hope
you find it.

You're awfully certain
about things, aren't you?

Why not wait
and give life a chance,

see what develops?

Nothing will,
I can assure you.

What about...
friendship, at least?

Is that allowed?

Only if
you feed me.

I'm starving.

Then you'd best start
doing your share,

hadn't you?

So... my Ralph...

the children

of the rose.

I very much
like this... Justine.

Most entertaining.

But one wonders what hurts
could be so deep

that she must
make such an effort

to keep them hidden.

Rather sad.

It is easier
to be fond of Dane.

You're very...

taken with Dane...

aren't you?

Sometimes
when I watch him...

it's like watching
my own self

at his age.

We'd best
get you in bed.

My beautiful bed...

in which I shall die

one of these fine days.

And not even
a pope's bed,

hmm, Ralph?

But there
still may be time...

for you.

Ah, Vittorio.

Oh, yes.
Lovely party.

Excuse me.

Good evening. Will you
tell Herr Hartheim

that I'm here?

Rain! I'm sorry I'm late.

Oh, bloody
London traffic.

How are you?

How's Germany?
How's Dane?

I'm fine,
Germany's cold,

and Dane's dying
to see you in Rome

when your play's
finished here.

Herzen...

you look marvelous.

Thanks, but the black's
to match my mood.

I trust
you've seen my reviews.

I rather doubt

this evening's going
to cheer you up.

It's all politicians
and diplomats.

Oh, God.

And their little wives.

Look, if you'd
rather not...

Nonsense, darling.

I've been playing hostess
to you for the past three years,

and I shall do so again
brilliantly.

I mean, what
are friends for, huh?

You're sure?

Lay on, MacDuff.

Good evening.

How delightful
to see you again.

You just look stunning,
simply stunning.

Regarding the election
of the new Roman pontiff,

we of the College
of Cardinals in Conclave

do promise and swear

that we will most religiously
keep secret all those things

which in any manner
pertain to that election.

Well, Dane. How good
to find you here.

You must've been waiting
a very long time.

Are you all right,
Father?

Quite all right.

Just rather hot work,

this business
of electing a pope.

But I think we've
done very well.

I think he may
surprise them all,

our new Pope John.

Not the most conventional
of choices, eh?

I must say,
you're very contained

for a seminary student
who's just witnessed

one of the world's
greatest events.

Well... there
have been rumors-

That I was among those
favored for election?

Yes, I know.

The strange thing is
I feel no regret.

It's a pity Vittorio
couldn't hear me say that.

He had such a taste
for irony.

You still miss him
very much, don't you?

Very much.

I find it appropriate that
I should have his quarters now.

I've always followed
in his footsteps.

He was almost
like a father to me.

As you are to me.

You make me
very happy, Dane.

And if I have no regrets
about today...

it's because my ambitions
now are all for you.

I must admit to hoping

that you will
follow in my footsteps

in the Church.

Father... I've
a long way to go

before I'm even
made a priest.

And I'm far
from knowing yet

how best
I may serve God.

Of course.

But I already see
such promise in you.

What more could I want

than to help you
all I can?

Really, Rain, you're supposed
to herd the poor beasts,

not scare them to death.

I thought
you were a leader.

Of men, herzen, of men.

Don't listen to her,
Rain.

You can have a place
here anytime.

I can see it now-

Rainer Hartheim,
head cocky.

Cocky?
What's a cocky?

Maybe you should
take Uncle Bob up

on that job offer just
for the sake of the outfit.

It's awfully
dashing on you.

Do you know
I've never seen you

in anything
but a suit and tie?

I've always been dashing.

You just never noticed.

Rain...

I'm so glad you
came home with me.

Danke.

Thank you.

Justine,
I've already told you.

I'm not going
to Dane's ordination,

and I'd rather not
discuss it any further.

Mother,
I have come 12,000 miles

and interrupted my work
to discuss it.

Well, it's a pity you've made
such a sacrifice, Jussie,

for something that
need not concern you.

Dane's counting
on you to come.

Surely you can
understand that.

I wish you'd
let it alone!

I'll talk with Dane when
he comes home for Christmas.

What if
he doesn't come?

He won't be
a seminary student

with long vacations anymore.
He'll be a priest.

He'll come.

Mother, I don't think
you understand.

There's no place
in the world

as exciting for Dane
right now as Rome,

especially with
Vatican II going on

and Ralph the aide
to Pope John.

And Ralph will see that Dane
has a part of all that.

Justine, please!

I have my reasons.

Have you, Mum?
Have you?

Well, I hope they're
damned good ones.

I hope they're
worth hurting Dane

as deeply
as you're going to.

You're really
something, Mother.

I mean,
if it were my ordination,

I would understand it.

But Dane is supposedly
the one you love.

God!

I'm sorry,
Mr. Hartheim.

I'm afraid
my daughter and I

never understood
one another very well.

And I'm sorry you've
come 12,000 miles

for nothing too.

My reasons
for coming

are...
rather different.

I've heard about
Drogheda for years

from Dane
and Justine...

and from
the cardinal.

I am sorry
that you will miss

the ordination,
Mrs. O'Neill.

The cardinal
speaks of you

so very often.

And he has been quite ill,
you know, this winter.

Well...

I hope that you will
give my love to Ralph...

and to my son for me.

I've never
been very clear,

Mr. Hartheim,

about your relationship
to Ralph.

I was a young soldier
when I met him,

quite by accident.

I had come
to St. Peter's to pray.

I ended up

talking with him
through the night

all about my hopes
for Hitler's downfall,

my dreams of rebuilding
a new and better Germany,

single-handedly,
of course.

Well, you've certainly been

a part of that effort,
haven't you?

At a cost, yes.

I'm afraid
I used my wife...

rather badly
in the process.

I was quite the ambitious
idealist, you see.

I thought that such
noble ends as mine

justified any means.

When Cardinal de Bricassart
learned of this,

he told me something

which has been
very useful to me since-

that...

there are no ambitions
noble enough

to justify
breaking someone's heart.

He said that,
did he?

Yes.

Well, you were kind
to your wife in the end.

You got rid of her.

Whereas Jussie
can keep you...

'cause she'll never let
you get under her skin.

Unfortunately,
you may be correct.

I'm no longer an idealist,
Mrs. Cleary,

but I do still
have some dreams.

And I have patience.

The Father anointed
Jesus Christ as Lord

through the power
of the Holy Spirit.

May Jesus
keep you worthy

of offering
sacrifice to God

and of sanctifying
the Christian assembly.

Peace be with you.

And also with you.

Alleluia.

Where are you,
herzen?

Just...

rather a day,
what?

Thanks for
being a dear

with the uncles
all week.

Is Dane traveling back
to Australia with them?

No. He's gonna spend
a few days in Greece first.

He always wanted
to do that.

I think you are...

rather disappointed
about Dane's decision.

No, not really.

No.

It'll thrill
Mum, at least.

Dane is what
she's always wanted.

I never was,
God knows.

But then I assume
you got the picture

when we were there.

But one can hardly
blame Mum,

given the way I am.

That doesn't
sound like you.

And I would have you
no other way.

You know,
I was just your age

when, as a priest,
I came to gilly,

but for such
different reasons.

I was forced to go

as penance
for my pride.

You choose it

out of humility
and love.

But it is
very difficult...

because I love
you, too.

You once said to me

that becoming a priest
for you wasn't a gift

but something hard won

by sacrifice
and suffering.

I understand that
better, leaving you.

It is a sacrifice...

giving up
all the things

you could have made
possible for me here.

But I think I will feel
closer to God

and better able
to do his work

in a simpler place.

And in choosing Gilly,

I can make
my mother happy.

She deserves that.

Yes.

She deserves that.

You know, I had
great hopes for you...

great ambitions...

that you would go as far
as I in the Church.

Perhaps even farther.

But you have
made me see

what I only glimpsed
long ago

about my ambitions
for myself...

that they had less to do
with God's will

than with my own.

The truth is, you have
always been far beyond me.

I'm so proud
of you, Dane.

I doubt that a man could
be prouder of his own son.

Thank you, Father.

I hope I may be
truly worthy of that.

But I wonder...
if the time comes

when I must
truly suffer...

can I accept it?

Can I put myself
into God's hands

and not fight his will?

You must never
doubt it...

because you are
that rarest of things...

a truly holy man.

Oh, you don't really
know how I am.

You only know
what I let you see.

You insult me.

I don't mean to.

But I'm a better actress
than you think,

and I'm not
about to let you

into the dark recesses
of my mind

and risk
scaring you away.

I need you
too much.

Not only insulting,
but selfish.

Ah, we knew that,
didn't we?

Anyway, I'm not really
disappointed about Dane.

I mean, I think he's
mad to give up Rome,

but Drogheda's
home to him.

He's always
belonged to it

in a way
I never could.

But that's no failing
on your part.

If you don't
belong to Drogheda,

it's because
it simply isn't you.

Sometimes I wonder
where I do belong.

Sometimes I feel...

a little lost.

Usually, in fact, unless
I'm actually performing.

Do you think there's such
a thing as off-stage fright?

It's very simple,
Justine.

You belong with me.

Oh, really, Rain?
In Bonn?

Oh, do grow up.
What do you think,

I'd want to turn you
into a... a hausfrau?

Obviously,
for people like us,

it isn't a question
of place.

It's a question
of love.

I've grown to love you
very much.

I think
you love me too.

It could never work.

I told you that
from the first.

But, herzen...

No. I can't.

Hey! You'll
get it wet.

"As flies
to wanton boys

"are we
to the gods.

They kill us for
their sport."

Poor Lear.

Poor me, you mean.

Fancy me in the role
of Cordelia.

How's the water?

It's a pretty
strong undertow,

but it's wonderful.

Communing
with mighty Neptune.

Really, Father O'Neill,
too pagan of you.

You'll be
excommunicated.

Your soul's already
in mortal danger as it is.

Don't tell me
you haven't noticed

those two dying for you.

He's cute.

I wonder how
we can meet him.

They'd be after you
like a shot

if I weren't here
protecting you.

I'll tell you something

I have noticed,
sister dear.

I've noticed
that you

haven't given me
a straight answer

as to what you're doing
here in Greece with me.

Now, now, you can
tell me anything,

my child.

Remember,
I am a priest.

All right.

It's Rain.

He wants me
to marry him.

That's wonderful!

Oh, Jus, I hoped it'd
be something like this.

You did?

The man's been in love
with you for ages.

But I can't marry him.

You know I've always said
I'd never marry anyone.

This is hardly the time
to stand on principle.

I thought you'd
understand, at least.

I'm sorry. But
if you love him-

But that's just it!

I don't... think
I can love anyone.

I don't think I've
really got it in me.

I... well, you know how
it's always been with me.

I know you've always
been able to love me.

That's different.

You're my brother.

And besides,
if I love you,

it's because you've
always accepted me

warts and all.

Because I'm
such a saint, huh?

Isn't that how it
goes-Saint Dane?

Look, Jus...

all our lives,
you've always known

that I was
the favorite.

A lot of sisters might
have hated me for it,

but you...
you never gave me

anything but love.

Well, that's because...

I always
used to deny it

when you said that Mum
didn't love you...

always used to
imply that...

somehow, if you just tried
a little bit harder,

everything would
be all right...

because I couldn't
bear the thought

of Mum being
unloving. I...

I couldn't stand
the guilt

of getting your share
as well as mine.

The truth is that
mum didn't love you

the way she should.

She didn't
show you the love

you should've had.

I know it's hard
for her, knowing that.

It isn't that
you can't love.

It's that you've
been made to feel

that you don't
deserve to be loved.

But you do.

You do.

Jussie! Are
you coming?

Jussie!

Where were you
all morning?

Rain's coming.

Right now.

Really!
I'll be right up.

Dane...

just... go commune with
mighty Neptune a while,

all right?

Jussie...

it'll be all right.

Rain.

Hello.

Where's our new
Father O'Neill?

I sent him out
for a dip.

He'll be up later.

You see how easily

you command
the fates of your men.

Oh, really, Rain.

I hardly think
I commanded you to come.

But you must admit

your wire was much
too intriguing to resist.

"Did you
mean it, Rain?"

Did I mean what,
herzen?

That you love me.

Is that what
all this is about?

Well, why else
would you have come?

Why else?

To salvage what I could
of friendship.

I'll settle for that,
if I must.

Oh, look, sport,
you're the one

who changed the status
quo between us, not I.

And you want what now,
an apology for that?

If I offered one,
you'd throw me out

like a smelly old rag.

I can do that yet,
mate.

Oh, but you won't,

because you need me
to keep you on the hop.

Is... that
why you came?

What do you think?

I think you're
a prize sadist.

Say you love me again,
you big Kraut,

and watch me
spit in your eye!

Ha! And you would too.

You'd love to have
another chance to humiliate me

for the unpardonable sin
of finding you worth loving.

You can't stand it,
can you?

It goes against everything
you believe about yourself.

Oh, God, Rain.

I'm sorry.

I... I was gonna tell you
that I love you

and that I want you.

Oh, I'm such an ass.

I had this marvelous
seduction scene

all planned, and-

Oh, poor darling.
You could still show me

how it would've gone.

Rain! Uhh!

Jean.

What?

Look,
he just went in.

Let's meet him, okay?

Okay, let's go.

We've got him
all to ourselves.

Ooh, it's cold.

Let me up there.

Hello!
Hello!

Hi.

Careful!

The undertow is strong.

Help!

All right,
hang on!

I'm coming!

I don't deserve
to be this happy.

Why didn't all this
happen years ago?

Because...

you weren't ready.

And I'm not sure
I am now.

Too late.

Where are you going?

I bought you
a Christmas present

in the market.

Just in case
you did come.

What is it?

Nothing.

Just some people
on the beach.

Expect we'll hear
all about it from Dane.

I'm so glad
you're here.

It wouldn't
be Christmas

without Anne
and Luddie.

How many have we missed
in the last 20 years?

There.

Watch your step.

What do you think?

I think... it's gonna be
the best Christmas ever.

Oh, Luddie,
you say that every year.

I'll get it.

Thank you, Judy.

You know, Luddie may
be right this time.

I did think of having a do
for the whole district,

but I'm not certain
Dane would want that.

I mean, I think it's best
to wait and talk to him first.

He said so little
in his letter.

Mind you,
Bob and Jack did say

he seemed very happy
about coming home.

You don't seem
quite as thrilled

as I thought you
would be, somehow.

Oh, Anne, I am.

Of course I am.

It's just that...

well, I hope it's what
he really wants.

I hope he's
not just doing it

for my sake.

When he went
to Ralph... I vowed

that I would never
try to influence him.

Is that the reason
you didn't go to Rome?

Which, by the way,

I personally
haven't forgiven you for.

I know. Nor has Jussie
or the boys.

Or Mum.

Although I think at least
she understands it.

It's just that...

I felt it would be
tempting fate to go.

Or tempting God.

Oh, Meggie. How absurd!

I know, I know.

Fancy what Jussie
would make of it.

But I fought God
so hard for so long

that I wanted to show
him finally

that I could
accept the fact

that Dane and Ralph
are his, not mine.

I sacrificed
the chance to go

in hopes of making
peace with God at last.

Don't question why
Dane is coming home.

Take it as a sign
of peace. Hmm?

Fee.

What's
the matter?

Mum?

What is it?

Oh, Meggie...

Dane is dead.

Oh, Mum.

No.

He's coming home.

Jussie telephoned.

He drowned.

He was trying
to save somebody.

He...

He's dead.

Mum.

Oh, Mum.

Nanna Fee.

Father,

we entrust
unto you...

Dane...

whom we loved
so much in this life.

Welcome him
into paradise

where there will be
no more sorrow or pain...

no more weeping...

but only peace and
joy with your son

and with
the Holy Spirit

forever...

and ever.

Amen.
Amen.

Amen.
Amen.

The Lord is
merciful and kind...

and rich in mercy.

Man's days are
like the grass.

He flowers like
the flowers of the field.

The wind blows...

and he is gone.

And his place
never sees him again.

How will we live
without him?

We will.

Your God gathers in
the good ones...

and leaves the living
to those of us who fail.

Your greedy God!

There is no peace
with him.

Meggie, no.

No more.

What can God
do to me now?

What more do
I have to lose?

Your soul.

Your heart.

Your love.

The love you've
always had within you,

despite everything.

Despite everything

but this.

I loved you,
Ralph.

I never stopped
loving you...

despite everything.

Despite the fact that
you were never mine.

What part of you
I got,

I had to steal.

But that part...
was the best.

Because that part
was Dane.

Dane was
your son too.

Yours...

and mine.

It isn't true.

He was your son,
Ralph.

And you couldn't
see it...

couldn't see
that he was

just a more perfect
version of you.

Couldn't love me
enough

to see that I would
never have gone back

to Luke or to any man
after you.

And now you say
it isn't true.

Poor Ralph.

Poor Cardinal
de Bricassart.

It's no good, Rain.

Please, let's just not talk
about it anymore. All right?

Mrs. O'Neill...
your mother and I

would like
to speak with you.

Please.

Meggie, Jussie's
in a very bad way.

She's got it
into her head somehow

that Dane's death
is her fault.

She insists that she must
give up the theater and me

and stay here with you
on Drogheda.

She won't listen
to either of us,

but if you
will help her see-

My son is dead!

How can you ask
anything of me now?

Yes, Dane is dead,

and we also
mourn him.

But you still have
a daughter.

She needs you
very much right now.

She needs to know
that you don't blame her

so that she can take up
her life again.

Mr. Hartheim,

I don't know why
she feels to blame.

But Jussie has never
listened to anything

that I had to say.

She feels to blame

because she sent
Dane off swimming

so that she could be
alone... with me.

I... love her,
Mrs. O'Neill.

And Dane died
at the very moment

she finally
understood

that she could
be loved.

If you won't
help her,

she'll waste
her life away

here on Drogheda

trying
to make it up to you

for living
while he died.

Meggie!

Mr. Hartheim,
I should like to speak

to my daughter alone.

Of course.

Meggie...

for years, I've sat by

and watched you do
all the things that I did-

Crying for a man
that you could never have...

giving all your love
to his son,

the way I gave mine
to Frank...

neglecting Jussie...
as I neglected you.

You've lived your life
as I did mine-

Driven.
Always driven.

I don't know
and never will

how much of our lives
we're allowed to choose...

how much is decided
long before we're born.

But looking back...

I see now choices
I could've made...

and didn't...

even after Paddy died,

even after
I lost Frank.

I might have asked
your forgiveness years ago.

But it's too late
for me now, Meggie.

But it's not
too late for you!

And it's not
too late for Jussie,

if you'll help her!

Oh, Mama!

I've always
loved this place.

When I was little,

I used to make believe
it was a stage.

My very own stage,
where I was the star.

I never knew that.

No, you wouldn't.

No one did.

Except Dane.

Poor Dane.

I'd go on and on,
and he'd applaud.

When I was little,
I thought God lived here.

I'd steal in
very quietly

hoping to
catch him out...

so I could see him.

He was always
too quick for me.

You know I learned to dance
on this very floor.

Your father taught me.

He laughed because
I didn't know how,

even though
I was 20-something.

Did you ever
love him, Mom?

Not enough
to marry him.

And I did wrong
to marry him, Jussie.

No matter what
he may have done to me...

he wasn't
what I wanted,

and I couldn't love him
for what he was.

Oh, Jussie, I've made
you pay so dearly

for being his child

and for... for so many
of my other sins

that you know
nothing of, and...

and now you think
you have to pay

for Dane's death,
too.

He was coming
back to you.

If it weren't for me,
you'd have him back.

Jussie, no.

I sent him
out there all alone.

I didn't go with him.

He was drowning,
and Rain and I were-

Jussie, it wasn't
your fault!

Dane wasn't a child!

He wasn't your
responsibility!

I don't know why

you always
thought he was.

Because he was.

Oh, Mom...
I did love Dane.

Truly, I did.

But I was
always afraid

something bad was gonna
happen to him because...

because I used to wish
that he were gone

so you would
love me instead.

Oh, Jussie.

I asked what more
God could do to me.

Now I know.

Jussie, you must
listen to me!

I do love you.

I always have.

But I've always
hurt you,

and I'm not
gonna hurt you now

by pretending that
I didn't love Dane more.

I did.

But you must
understand

that you're no more
to blame for that

than you are
for his death.

Don't think of staying
here on Drogheda.

Please... I need to be
what comfort to you I can.

It cannot comfort me

to watch you
hand me your life

like a sacrifice.

What I need most
is your forgiveness.

You have your work.

And you have
the love of a man

who will never
break your heart.

That's more
than most of us get

in a lifetime,
Jussie.

Don't give it up
for anything...

and least of all,
for me.

But how can I
leave you here...

grieving for Dane and-

You must!

To give us hope.

A light
has gone out...

not just for me,
but for all of us.

And we will spend
who knows how long

in mourning it.

But if you go,

your light
can burn for us.

And knowing that
will bring an end

to our mourning.

Oh, Jussie.

My precious girl.

When we go,
there will be no one.

Drogheda will go on
with new people.

But there'll be
no one left

to remember
what it was like for us.

Well...

best go and see how dry
that grass has got.

I'll come out
when I get back.

Bye, Nanna Fee.

Come back next Christmas
if you can.

Always.

Where's Ralph?

He...

isn't returning
to Rome.

He asked that we
go on without him.

He's very ill,
Mrs. O'Neill.

He asked for you.

Be happy, Jus.

Thank you.

My Meggie.

I knew you'd
forgive me.

I knew.

All your life...

I've watched you

wage your battles
against God.

And yet you were
always closer

to his desires
for us than I.

In the end...

you've always
been able to love.

For all you've lost...

you've never lost that.

Somewhere in me, I...

I must have known
from the very first

that Dane was mine.

But... I didn't
want to know.

I wanted to be Cardinal
de Bricassart...

more than I wanted...
our son.

More than I wanted you.

Of all the wrong
I've done,

the worst...

is that I never
made a choice

for love.

Half given to you,
half given to God...

but really given
to my own ambition.

I knew it...

and I did it anyway.

I told myself
it was meant to be.

Long ago...

I told you a story,
a legend about a bird

that sings...
only when it dies.

The bird with the thorn
in its breast.

You said it pays its life
for that one song.

But the whole world
stills to listen...

and God
in his heaven smiles.

Driven to the thorn with no
knowledge

of the dying
to come.

But when we...

when we press
the thought

to our breast,

we know...

we understand.

And still,
we do it.

Still...

we do it.