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1
00:00:05,500 --> 00:00:07,546
Frank, would you like
another buttered nipple?
2
00:00:08,590 --> 00:00:11,463
No. The cream
is making me gassy.
3
00:00:11,463 --> 00:00:14,118
- Yeah, well, you have had four of them.
- Yeah.
4
00:00:14,118 --> 00:00:16,207
You know, we could order you
5
00:00:16,207 --> 00:00:17,643
something that's a little bit
easier on the pipes.
6
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,297
- Yeah.
- You know, I know what you're doing.
7
00:00:19,297 --> 00:00:21,168
This is your annual
8
00:00:21,168 --> 00:00:23,431
"take me out and see
if you can talk me into
9
00:00:23,431 --> 00:00:25,085
giving you more of my money."
10
00:00:25,085 --> 00:00:26,782
- Oh, stop.
- Uh... Is he talking to us?
11
00:00:26,782 --> 00:00:28,828
- Give me money.
- We would never.
12
00:00:28,828 --> 00:00:30,612
And we just want you
to have a fun night.
13
00:00:30,612 --> 00:00:31,700
Yeah.
14
00:00:31,700 --> 00:00:32,832
Oh.
15
00:00:34,877 --> 00:00:37,097
- Yeah, get that.
- What you working on there, bud?
16
00:00:37,097 --> 00:00:39,143
I brought my own can
of anchovies
17
00:00:39,143 --> 00:00:41,319
because the fish in this place
is not salty enough.
18
00:00:41,319 --> 00:00:43,451
- Mm, that's...
- I agree.
19
00:00:43,451 --> 00:00:44,670
- Got no taste.
- Yeah.
20
00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,280
Yeah, no, I-I hear you.
21
00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,282
It's, uh, it's not salty enough.
22
00:00:48,282 --> 00:00:50,589
I want to point something out
here to you, Frank.
23
00:00:50,589 --> 00:00:53,157
I think we do a pretty good job
24
00:00:53,157 --> 00:00:54,717
of pretending like
you're not an animal.
25
00:00:55,550 --> 00:00:56,464
Is that thing loaded,
by the way?
26
00:00:56,464 --> 00:00:57,857
Nah, it's not loaded.
27
00:00:57,857 --> 00:01:00,642
And get off my back,
28
00:01:00,642 --> 00:01:01,643
huh?
29
00:01:01,643 --> 00:01:03,428
- Hey. Absolutely.
- Yup.
30
00:01:03,428 --> 00:01:04,516
You got it.
31
00:01:04,516 --> 00:01:05,821
Got no intention to be
32
00:01:05,821 --> 00:01:07,388
- riding on your back, pal.
- No.
33
00:01:07,388 --> 00:01:09,173
We like you
just the way you are.
34
00:01:09,173 --> 00:01:11,305
- Mm. Mm-hmm.
- And I think that, you know,
35
00:01:11,305 --> 00:01:14,134
maybe, just possibly, that
entitles us to a little taste
36
00:01:14,134 --> 00:01:15,918
- of your fortune after you die?
- Oh.
37
00:01:15,918 --> 00:01:16,832
- You know what I mean? I-I...
- Oh.
38
00:01:16,832 --> 00:01:18,225
I want to tell you something,
39
00:01:18,225 --> 00:01:20,880
I am not intending on dying
anytime soon,
40
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:22,795
so don't waste your breath.
41
00:01:24,188 --> 00:01:25,885
You know what? Screw this.
42
00:01:25,885 --> 00:01:27,408
- Okay.
- I... Dee, I told you this was a mistake.
43
00:01:27,408 --> 00:01:28,931
- No, I know, I know.
- I... You know what? I'm out
44
00:01:28,931 --> 00:01:30,150
- of here.
- Couple of vultures
45
00:01:30,150 --> 00:01:31,586
picking at my carcass.
46
00:01:31,586 --> 00:01:32,848
- Uh-huh.
- You know, I am in the prime
47
00:01:32,848 --> 00:01:34,285
- of my life.
- Yeah.
48
00:01:34,285 --> 00:01:36,330
I mean, if you think
that you can...
49
00:01:39,159 --> 00:01:40,291
You shot us!
50
00:01:40,291 --> 00:01:41,466
- You shot us!
- I'm shot in the face!
51
00:01:41,466 --> 00:01:42,902
You said there were no bullets!
52
00:01:42,902 --> 00:01:45,774
Okay, so it was loaded.
My mistake.
53
00:01:45,774 --> 00:01:47,559
Oh, don't be so dramatic.
54
00:01:47,559 --> 00:01:49,169
I just nicked you.
55
00:01:49,169 --> 00:01:52,346
It's not like anybody's
in any real danger.
56
00:01:54,000 --> 00:02:00,074
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57
00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:14,586
I'm saying don't shoot
58
00:02:14,586 --> 00:02:15,717
the whole balloon down, right?
Like, you-you...
59
00:02:15,717 --> 00:02:17,284
- you pull it down...
- Frank shot us.
60
00:02:17,284 --> 00:02:19,286
He shot us in the face.
We barely survived.
61
00:02:19,286 --> 00:02:20,287
Awesome!
62
00:02:20,287 --> 00:02:21,897
- Wha...
- Uh, no, not awesome.
63
00:02:21,897 --> 00:02:24,465
Oh, sorry.
You came in all excited.
64
00:02:24,465 --> 00:02:25,858
I thought you were bragging.
65
00:02:25,858 --> 00:02:27,468
I was picking up
on an excited energy, for sure.
66
00:02:27,468 --> 00:02:28,904
Getting shot in the face
and surviving is pretty cool.
67
00:02:28,904 --> 00:02:30,297
Yeah.
68
00:02:30,297 --> 00:02:31,733
This is insane.
69
00:02:31,733 --> 00:02:33,300
Listen, we got to get his gun
away from him, okay?
70
00:02:33,300 --> 00:02:34,649
I-I don't even care
about the money anymore.
71
00:02:34,649 --> 00:02:35,781
Oh, yeah, no, no, neither do I.
72
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:36,956
I don't give a shit
about the money.
73
00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:38,653
I mean, the man is a maniac
74
00:02:38,653 --> 00:02:40,307
and he's gonna wind up shooting
everyone in this bar.
75
00:02:40,307 --> 00:02:41,787
Oh, yeah. I do care
about the money, though.
76
00:02:41,787 --> 00:02:43,658
- Yeah, no, so do I. Absolutely.
- Yeah.
77
00:02:43,658 --> 00:02:44,920
- It's the only thing I care about. Are you kidding me?
- Yeah. Yeah.
78
00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:46,400
Come on. You know
what I'm worried about?
79
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,706
I'm worried he's gonna
kill himself with that gun
80
00:02:47,706 --> 00:02:49,316
before he gets
old and senile enough
81
00:02:49,316 --> 00:02:50,926
to rewrite us into the will.
82
00:02:50,926 --> 00:02:52,406
That's it. That's it.
We need him to live
83
00:02:52,406 --> 00:02:53,842
long enough
so he can become fully demented.
84
00:02:53,842 --> 00:02:54,887
- Mm-hmm.
- I know, but, guys,
85
00:02:54,887 --> 00:02:56,236
I'm picking up, like,
86
00:02:56,236 --> 00:02:57,716
a super stressed-out vibe
from you,
87
00:02:57,716 --> 00:02:59,848
and it's really important
to remember, like,
88
00:02:59,848 --> 00:03:02,677
you know,
money isn't everything.
89
00:03:02,677 --> 00:03:04,592
Yeah, of course
you don't care, Charlie,
90
00:03:04,592 --> 00:03:06,551
because your dad didn't have
anything to pass down to you.
91
00:03:06,551 --> 00:03:09,510
No, that's true,
but my mom does. Yeah.
92
00:03:09,510 --> 00:03:12,296
On my mom's family side, I got a
huge inheritance coming my way.
93
00:03:12,296 --> 00:03:14,733
Wait, what?
94
00:03:14,733 --> 00:03:16,517
H-How did I not know this?
You're gonna be rich?
95
00:03:16,517 --> 00:03:18,867
Yeah. Totally. Yeah.
96
00:03:18,867 --> 00:03:22,262
Well, uh,
rich in history and legacy
97
00:03:22,262 --> 00:03:24,264
and, uh...
...teeth, of course.
98
00:03:24,264 --> 00:03:26,310
Teeth?
99
00:03:26,310 --> 00:03:28,747
Yeah. It's a pretty sweet deal,
actually, you know.
100
00:03:28,747 --> 00:03:30,618
Everyone on my mom's side
of the family,
101
00:03:30,618 --> 00:03:33,273
going back to the Ni�a
and the-the Pinta
102
00:03:33,273 --> 00:03:35,057
and the, uh, Santa Margherita,
103
00:03:35,057 --> 00:03:37,538
um, they've all been putting
their teeth into a jar
104
00:03:37,538 --> 00:03:38,713
- when they die.
- Mm-hmm.
105
00:03:38,713 --> 00:03:40,889
And, uh, when I turn 40,
106
00:03:40,889 --> 00:03:42,543
that sweet little piece
107
00:03:42,543 --> 00:03:43,892
of history's coming my way.
108
00:03:43,892 --> 00:03:45,111
Just stop. Okay, Dee,
109
00:03:45,111 --> 00:03:46,504
we need to get that gun
away from Frank.
110
00:03:46,504 --> 00:03:47,896
Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh.
111
00:03:47,896 --> 00:03:49,768
You don't do something
like that.
112
00:03:49,768 --> 00:03:51,552
You know, because, like,
Frank's gun is a big piece
113
00:03:51,552 --> 00:03:52,945
of who he is, right?
114
00:03:52,945 --> 00:03:54,773
That's his legacy.
That's his history.
115
00:03:54,773 --> 00:03:57,341
That's like, that's like
my jar of teeth, right?
116
00:03:57,341 --> 00:03:59,386
I don't want that taken away
from me when I get old.
117
00:03:59,386 --> 00:04:00,735
What are you talking about?
118
00:04:00,735 --> 00:04:03,564
Charlie, I got some
bad news for you, bud.
119
00:04:03,564 --> 00:04:04,696
What?
120
00:04:04,696 --> 00:04:07,264
You turned 40 a long time ago.
121
00:04:09,701 --> 00:04:11,659
Yo. Hey, Ma, how you doing?
122
00:04:11,659 --> 00:04:13,705
- Hi, Mom.
- Oh, hi, boys.
123
00:04:13,705 --> 00:04:15,794
- What brings you by?
- Yeah, uh,
124
00:04:15,794 --> 00:04:17,970
hey, I want to show Mac
that jar of family teeth we got.
125
00:04:17,970 --> 00:04:19,058
Oh.
126
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:20,712
- Y-You-you do?
- Yeah.
127
00:04:20,712 --> 00:04:22,322
Hey, Ma, did you realize
I was over 40?
128
00:04:22,322 --> 00:04:24,585
You are?
129
00:04:24,585 --> 00:04:26,631
Yeah, turns out. Yeah, I figured
you probably forgot, too,
130
00:04:26,631 --> 00:04:27,893
or something, but, um, yeah,
131
00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,068
can I get that jar of teeth
now, please?
132
00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,505
Oh, okay, I-I'll go
look for them.
133
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:33,507
Okay, yeah, good.
Go-go get my teeth, please.
134
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:34,682
Cool. Hey, Mom,
135
00:04:34,682 --> 00:04:35,857
since we're here, um,
136
00:04:35,857 --> 00:04:36,945
do we have any kind of, like,
137
00:04:36,945 --> 00:04:38,425
family heirlooms or anything?
138
00:04:38,425 --> 00:04:40,340
No.
139
00:04:40,340 --> 00:04:42,386
Like, anything of value
140
00:04:42,386 --> 00:04:44,083
that our family owned
at some point?
141
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:46,085
No.
142
00:04:46,085 --> 00:04:48,783
Hm. Okay, what if it's just,
like, sentimental?
143
00:04:48,783 --> 00:04:50,350
Just, like,
proof that we existed?
144
00:04:50,350 --> 00:04:52,439
Nope.
145
00:04:52,439 --> 00:04:53,614
Wait, what about those letters?
146
00:04:53,614 --> 00:04:54,789
Weren't there
some kind of letters
147
00:04:54,789 --> 00:04:55,790
that my grandfather
wrote to my dad
148
00:04:55,790 --> 00:04:56,690
during World War II?
149
00:04:57,836 --> 00:04:59,359
Yeah.
150
00:04:59,359 --> 00:05:01,100
Those letters exist?
Well, well, who's got them?
151
00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:03,058
Donald.
152
00:05:03,058 --> 00:05:05,539
- Donald? Donald who?
- Oh...
153
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,628
Duck.
154
00:05:07,628 --> 00:05:09,804
Yeah.
155
00:05:09,804 --> 00:05:11,806
Donald... Donald Duck?
What's she talking about?
156
00:05:11,806 --> 00:05:13,808
Yeah, my mom's making a joke.
She's-she's really funny.
157
00:05:13,808 --> 00:05:15,419
She's got a great sense
of humor. Right, Mom?
158
00:05:15,419 --> 00:05:17,638
Yeah.
159
00:05:17,638 --> 00:05:19,379
Yeah. She's talking
about my Uncle Donald.
160
00:05:19,379 --> 00:05:21,163
Huh. I didn't even know
you had an uncle Donald.
161
00:05:21,163 --> 00:05:22,643
Yeah, yeah,
that's my dad's brother.
162
00:05:22,643 --> 00:05:24,384
Donald McDonald?
163
00:05:24,384 --> 00:05:25,472
Yeah.
164
00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:27,387
Ronald McDonald.
165
00:05:27,387 --> 00:05:29,824
Donald McDonald. Wow.
166
00:05:29,824 --> 00:05:32,105
Your dad really scored with
the name Luther, I guess, huh?
167
00:05:32,914 --> 00:05:35,395
Mom? What happened?
168
00:05:35,395 --> 00:05:37,005
Oh, shit.
169
00:05:37,005 --> 00:05:38,311
Did she try to pull out
her own teeth?
170
00:05:38,311 --> 00:05:39,747
Did you just try to pull out
your own teeth?
171
00:05:39,747 --> 00:05:41,793
- Mm-mm.
- She clearly did.
172
00:05:41,793 --> 00:05:43,873
- I can see the pliers.
- We can see the pliers, Mom.
173
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,493
- Ah! Ugh!
- Oh!
174
00:05:46,493 --> 00:05:48,843
- I'm so sorry.
- Mom.
175
00:05:48,843 --> 00:05:51,498
Oh, my God. Why did you do that?
176
00:05:51,498 --> 00:05:53,848
I didn't have the heart
to-to tell you,
177
00:05:53,848 --> 00:05:57,025
I gave away the jar.
178
00:05:57,025 --> 00:05:59,463
You gave away the jar of teeth?
To who?
179
00:05:59,463 --> 00:06:00,681
Your sisters.
180
00:06:00,681 --> 00:06:02,509
To my sisters?
181
00:06:02,509 --> 00:06:04,946
Those ungrateful bitches.
What the hell, Mom?
182
00:06:04,946 --> 00:06:06,426
They don't even live
in Philly anymore.
183
00:06:06,426 --> 00:06:07,427
They moved all the way
up to northern New Jersey.
184
00:06:07,427 --> 00:06:09,429
They're terrible to you.
185
00:06:09,429 --> 00:06:10,778
I'm the one who stayed. I'm
the one who takes care of you.
186
00:06:10,778 --> 00:06:12,084
How could you do that?
187
00:06:13,694 --> 00:06:15,870
- Now she's screaming.
- This is crazy.
188
00:06:15,870 --> 00:06:17,611
Now she's screaming.
Now she's screaming.
189
00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:19,047
- Well, you yelled at her.
- Now Mom's screaming.
190
00:06:19,047 --> 00:06:20,701
Now Mom's screaming.
191
00:06:20,701 --> 00:06:22,747
Ah, I can't believe
you did this!
192
00:06:22,747 --> 00:06:24,879
- Why are you yelling at her? I don't know...
- She gave it away to my sisters.
193
00:06:24,879 --> 00:06:26,446
They're the worst people
on the planet.
194
00:06:26,446 --> 00:06:27,447
I didn't even remember
that you had sisters.
195
00:06:27,447 --> 00:06:29,057
All right. Okay, okay.
196
00:06:29,057 --> 00:06:30,798
Look, we're just gonna have
to go and get them.
197
00:06:30,798 --> 00:06:32,452
I think she's having
a stroke, dude.
198
00:06:32,452 --> 00:06:34,149
We're just gonna have
to get in the car right now
199
00:06:34,149 --> 00:06:35,586
- and go get them. Come on, man.
- We should go to the hospital.
200
00:06:35,586 --> 00:06:36,978
Let's get in the car. Let's go.
201
00:06:36,978 --> 00:06:38,632
Mrs. Mac, we're taking your car.
Mom, just calm down.
202
00:06:38,632 --> 00:06:40,765
It's okay, okay? I'm not mad
at you. It's fine, okay?
203
00:06:40,765 --> 00:06:42,680
- I love you.
- Breathe through your, breathe through your nose.
204
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:44,203
- I love you, too. I love you, too.
- This is fucking insane.
205
00:06:44,203 --> 00:06:45,944
I made a mistake.
206
00:06:45,944 --> 00:06:48,207
You did make a mistake.
You did make this... All right.
207
00:06:48,207 --> 00:06:49,643
Christ, let's get her
cleaned up. All right.
208
00:06:49,643 --> 00:06:50,731
I didn't mean to upset you.
209
00:06:54,039 --> 00:06:55,693
Frank, um,
210
00:06:55,693 --> 00:06:57,259
could you stop scratching
yourself with the gun, please?
211
00:06:57,259 --> 00:06:58,957
- I'm itchy, I'm itchy.
- I-I bet.
212
00:06:58,957 --> 00:07:00,524
Probably from rolling around
in the grass
213
00:07:00,524 --> 00:07:01,655
outside of your apartment.
214
00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:03,091
No, I was rolling around
in the grass
215
00:07:03,091 --> 00:07:04,266
because I was itchy.
216
00:07:04,266 --> 00:07:05,572
The itch came first.
217
00:07:05,572 --> 00:07:07,052
Okay, well, why don't you
hand me the gun,
218
00:07:07,052 --> 00:07:08,227
- and I'll scratch you with my fingers.
- Yeah.
219
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:09,750
I'm not gonna hand you my gun,
220
00:07:09,750 --> 00:07:11,099
but I'll let you scratch.
You want to scratch me?
221
00:07:11,099 --> 00:07:13,711
- Go on. Yeah.
- Okay.
222
00:07:13,711 --> 00:07:15,103
- All right.
- Scratch me. See.
223
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,888
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do it down by the neck.
224
00:07:16,888 --> 00:07:18,672
- Frank, I... - The back of the
neck. The back of the neck.
225
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:19,847
Okay, but I just don't want
to get shot again, is all.
226
00:07:19,847 --> 00:07:21,153
The gun's not loaded.
227
00:07:21,153 --> 00:07:22,937
Yeah, that's what you said
last time, Frank.
228
00:07:22,937 --> 00:07:25,026
I got to take a piss.
229
00:07:25,026 --> 00:07:26,245
- Pull over.
- All right.
230
00:07:32,860 --> 00:07:33,992
Okay.
231
00:07:33,992 --> 00:07:35,646
Goddamn it.
232
00:07:35,646 --> 00:07:37,169
This is not working.
233
00:07:37,169 --> 00:07:38,649
Should we just attack him
and take it?
234
00:07:38,649 --> 00:07:40,520
What? No.
235
00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:42,566
He'd mow us down like Scarface.
We can't come at him like that.
236
00:07:42,566 --> 00:07:44,698
- We'll spook him.
- Yeah.
237
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:45,917
You know what?
He needs to be lulled
238
00:07:45,917 --> 00:07:47,788
into a false sense of security.
239
00:07:47,788 --> 00:07:49,181
You don't tell a dog
you're taking him to a vet
240
00:07:49,181 --> 00:07:50,530
to put him down.
241
00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:51,836
Right.
242
00:07:53,011 --> 00:07:56,014
You give that dog
the best day of his life,
243
00:07:56,014 --> 00:07:58,320
and then you turn out the lights
when he least suspects it.
244
00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:00,627
Okay.
245
00:08:00,627 --> 00:08:02,020
Okay. Oh...
246
00:08:02,020 --> 00:08:04,152
Ooh.
247
00:08:04,152 --> 00:08:06,677
Ooh, that was a long wait.
248
00:08:06,677 --> 00:08:07,895
Ooh!
249
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:09,244
Wow.
250
00:08:13,901 --> 00:08:15,337
Why is your mom driving
my mom's car?
251
00:08:15,337 --> 00:08:16,861
I don't know. Dude, they got
some weird arrangement
252
00:08:16,861 --> 00:08:19,298
worked out so your mom
can focus on smoking.
253
00:08:19,298 --> 00:08:21,605
Speaking of, I'm getting
choked to death back here.
254
00:08:21,605 --> 00:08:23,171
Mrs. Mac, do you mind, like,
cracking a window or something?
255
00:08:23,171 --> 00:08:25,173
No.
256
00:08:25,173 --> 00:08:27,045
Why not? I mean, it's ridiculous
to just sit in the smoke.
257
00:08:27,045 --> 00:08:30,701
'Cause it's too drafty.
It's unhealthy.
258
00:08:30,701 --> 00:08:32,050
- Right.
- Unheal... What?
259
00:08:32,050 --> 00:08:34,052
Sorry, my mom's on
a new health kick.
260
00:08:34,052 --> 00:08:35,706
Hey, Mom, it's working.
You look great.
261
00:08:35,706 --> 00:08:37,185
Shut up.
262
00:08:37,185 --> 00:08:38,926
Can we, like speed up
or something?
263
00:08:38,926 --> 00:08:41,363
Another car just passed us.
Mom, that's, like, the 50th car.
264
00:08:41,363 --> 00:08:42,713
Why are you going so slow?
265
00:08:42,713 --> 00:08:44,279
Well, highways are scary.
266
00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:46,064
You're going 35.
267
00:08:46,064 --> 00:08:47,195
- I can see you're going 35.
- But... And everybody's
268
00:08:47,195 --> 00:08:48,370
just in such a hurry.
269
00:08:48,370 --> 00:08:49,807
No, it's just the normal...
270
00:08:49,807 --> 00:08:51,330
It's the speed that people go
on the highway.
271
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:53,245
Okay, maybe I should drive.
Mom, can I drive your car?
272
00:08:53,245 --> 00:08:54,638
- Can Mac drive?
- No.
273
00:08:54,638 --> 00:08:57,118
Ugh, this is my worst
nightmare, man.
274
00:08:57,118 --> 00:08:58,816
This is absolutely terrible.
How much further?
275
00:08:58,816 --> 00:09:00,252
Anyone know? Mac?
276
00:09:00,252 --> 00:09:02,297
How much further? Mac?
277
00:09:02,297 --> 00:09:04,038
Mac? Hello?
278
00:09:04,038 --> 00:09:07,738
My mom's finger
is up, which means "no talking".
279
00:09:07,738 --> 00:09:09,391
She's annoyed. It's best if we
280
00:09:09,391 --> 00:09:11,742
just keep it down
until the finger goes down,
281
00:09:11,742 --> 00:09:14,005
otherwise, she might burn us
with the cigarette lighter.
282
00:09:14,005 --> 00:09:16,224
This is my worst nightmare
283
00:09:16,224 --> 00:09:17,356
in my entire life.
284
00:09:18,923 --> 00:09:20,838
Okay, finger's down. Um, great.
285
00:09:20,838 --> 00:09:22,622
Uh, okay, Mrs. Kelly,
you're gonna want to stay
286
00:09:22,622 --> 00:09:24,842
on the Jersey Turnpike
until you hit 287.
287
00:09:24,842 --> 00:09:27,018
You want to take 287
towards Hamburg.
288
00:09:27,018 --> 00:09:29,020
Mm, no. That...
No, you just stay on the 206
289
00:09:29,020 --> 00:09:30,021
the whole way up.
290
00:09:30,021 --> 00:09:31,196
No, no, we're gonna,
291
00:09:31,196 --> 00:09:32,719
we're gonna hit Hamburg
on the way.
292
00:09:32,719 --> 00:09:33,720
Why are we going to Hamburg?
293
00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:35,200
We're gonna visit
my Uncle Donald.
294
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,333
- Donald McDonald of Hamburger, New Jersey?
- Hamburg.
295
00:09:38,333 --> 00:09:40,248
A bunch of old letters that
weren't even written to you?
296
00:09:40,248 --> 00:09:41,902
That's not a legacy, it's
a bunch of meaningless shit.
297
00:09:41,902 --> 00:09:44,949
Not as meaningless as a jar
full of teeth.
298
00:09:44,949 --> 00:09:46,080
- Ah! She got you. She got you.
- Sorry, Mom, sorry, Mom.
299
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:47,386
Sorry, Mom.
I didn't see the finger.
300
00:09:47,386 --> 00:09:49,257
No, her hand was not
in the air that time.
301
00:09:49,257 --> 00:09:50,824
- She burnt the shit out of me.
- You didn't even put your hand...
302
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,739
- Oh, it's up now, it's up now.
- Yeah.
303
00:09:52,739 --> 00:09:55,002
Frank, we got a little
surprise for you, bud.
304
00:09:55,002 --> 00:09:56,177
What's that?
305
00:09:56,177 --> 00:09:58,223
Hamburgers.
306
00:09:58,223 --> 00:10:00,225
Oh, hamburgers?
307
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,140
Oh, that's one
of the best food there is.
308
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,403
Yeah, yes, they really are.
309
00:10:04,403 --> 00:10:06,710
And, you know what, you can eat
them right here in the car.
310
00:10:06,710 --> 00:10:09,190
You know, once in a while,
they give me the runs.
311
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,410
Yeah, that's why we put
that towel down for you, buddy.
312
00:10:11,410 --> 00:10:13,760
Mmm. Mmm!
313
00:10:13,760 --> 00:10:15,762
Okay. All right.
314
00:10:15,762 --> 00:10:16,937
- Mmm.
- You want to take it easy?
315
00:10:16,937 --> 00:10:18,286
Goddamn. Just one bite
at a time,
316
00:10:18,286 --> 00:10:19,766
or you're gonna barf everywhere.
317
00:10:19,766 --> 00:10:21,942
- Mmm.
- Yeah, it's good, huh?
318
00:10:21,942 --> 00:10:23,683
Yeah, really hammering them
down there, huh, bud?
319
00:10:23,683 --> 00:10:24,815
Very good. Mmm.
320
00:10:26,947 --> 00:10:29,123
Oh!
321
00:10:29,123 --> 00:10:30,690
I almost ate my gun.
322
00:10:31,778 --> 00:10:32,779
I dipped it in the ketchup.
323
00:10:32,779 --> 00:10:33,824
Thought it was a french fry.
324
00:10:33,824 --> 00:10:34,868
Yeah, that is funny.
325
00:10:34,868 --> 00:10:35,913
Wow.
326
00:10:35,913 --> 00:10:36,914
Hey, you know what?
327
00:10:36,914 --> 00:10:38,045
I'm-I'm gonna pull over, Frank.
328
00:10:38,045 --> 00:10:40,091
I got to take a piss anyway.
329
00:10:40,091 --> 00:10:41,440
Again. Okay.
330
00:10:43,747 --> 00:10:46,097
- Well, Frank...
- What?
331
00:10:46,097 --> 00:10:47,272
Look where we are.
332
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,969
We're at the bridge.
333
00:10:48,969 --> 00:10:50,971
Oh, I haven't been here
in forever.
334
00:10:50,971 --> 00:10:52,886
- Go check it out... Oh!
- Oh! - Oh.
335
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,323
- Ooh.
- Did-did you just slam your head into the window?
336
00:10:55,323 --> 00:10:57,325
Yeah, I didn't realize
it was up.
337
00:10:57,325 --> 00:10:59,110
Well, were you gonna
dive out of it?
338
00:10:59,110 --> 00:11:01,155
Yeah, I was very excited.
I want to go.
339
00:11:01,155 --> 00:11:02,940
- All right.
- Go see the boys.
340
00:11:02,940 --> 00:11:03,984
- Have fun, buddy.
- Go see the boys.
341
00:11:03,984 --> 00:11:05,594
- Get after it.
- Okay.
342
00:11:05,594 --> 00:11:08,815
- Okay.
- I don't know how much more of this I can take.
343
00:11:08,815 --> 00:11:11,035
Hey, we're almost there, Dee,
okay? He's getting tired.
344
00:11:11,035 --> 00:11:12,819
Let's let run him around
the bridge for a little while,
345
00:11:12,819 --> 00:11:14,659
- and then we have one more stop, okay?
- Uh...
346
00:11:18,042 --> 00:11:20,348
Oh, he's pissing
on another hydrant.
347
00:11:20,348 --> 00:11:22,176
Okay. He's...
348
00:11:22,176 --> 00:11:24,526
literally turning into a dog.
349
00:11:24,526 --> 00:11:25,789
Yeah.
350
00:11:28,008 --> 00:11:30,184
I got to smash.
351
00:11:30,184 --> 00:11:32,360
You just smashed. You smashed,
like, three times
352
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,232
on the way up here.
We keep having to pull over
353
00:11:34,232 --> 00:11:35,886
- so you can smash. What...
- There is a lot of smashing.
354
00:11:35,886 --> 00:11:37,365
She's very regular.
355
00:11:37,365 --> 00:11:39,063
Oh, no, I'm out of paper towels.
356
00:11:39,063 --> 00:11:41,108
Oh, I wouldn't worry
about that, Mrs. Kelly.
357
00:11:41,108 --> 00:11:43,197
I'm sure my Uncle Donald
has toilet paper.
358
00:11:43,197 --> 00:11:44,372
You've been wiping
with paper towels?
359
00:11:44,372 --> 00:11:46,897
I hope everyone
360
00:11:46,897 --> 00:11:48,768
brought their appetite
361
00:11:48,768 --> 00:11:51,292
because I made quiche.
362
00:11:52,511 --> 00:11:54,774
Aw, that's really nice,
Uncle Donald,
363
00:11:54,774 --> 00:11:55,949
but we're kind of in a hurry.
364
00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:58,778
W-Well, that's a shame.
365
00:11:58,778 --> 00:12:00,214
We never get to see each other.
366
00:12:00,214 --> 00:12:02,521
Yeah, that is a shame,
367
00:12:02,521 --> 00:12:05,480
but I'm really here
about the letters.
368
00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:07,787
You know, the letters that
369
00:12:07,787 --> 00:12:09,397
Grandpop wrote to you and Dad
during the war.
370
00:12:09,397 --> 00:12:12,792
Oh. Oh, yes, yes,
I-I-I have those letters.
371
00:12:12,792 --> 00:12:14,359
Oh, that's great.
372
00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,230
I was kind of hoping
they would pass down to me.
373
00:12:16,230 --> 00:12:18,276
You know, sort of like
a family heirloom.
374
00:12:18,276 --> 00:12:20,887
Well, that would make sense
because, well,
375
00:12:20,887 --> 00:12:22,976
they weren't actually
written to me.
376
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:25,936
They were addressed
only, uh, to your dad.
377
00:12:25,936 --> 00:12:28,852
Grandpop didn't write to you?
378
00:12:28,852 --> 00:12:31,376
He-he liked your dad, uh, more.
379
00:12:31,376 --> 00:12:33,160
Uh, you know, I was the, um,
380
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:35,032
you know, "funny" one, you know.
381
00:12:35,032 --> 00:12:37,251
It's the reason
I never got married.
382
00:12:37,251 --> 00:12:39,819
Not something we talked about
back then, but...
383
00:12:39,819 --> 00:12:42,169
but i-it always made me feel,
384
00:12:42,169 --> 00:12:44,998
uh, a little, uh...
385
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:47,218
different.
386
00:12:47,218 --> 00:12:49,002
Well, I-I'm sure
you can understand
387
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,162
what that feels like, Ronald.
388
00:12:52,614 --> 00:12:54,007
No.
389
00:12:54,007 --> 00:12:56,096
So, the letters?
390
00:12:56,096 --> 00:12:58,446
- Oh, yes.
- Yeah?
391
00:12:58,446 --> 00:13:00,231
- Oh!
- Sure.
392
00:13:00,231 --> 00:13:02,276
Okay.
393
00:13:02,276 --> 00:13:04,539
Yeah, this is, uh,
this is great, Uncle Donald,
394
00:13:04,539 --> 00:13:05,845
'cause it's really gonna tie
395
00:13:05,845 --> 00:13:07,847
a lot of things together
for me, you know?
396
00:13:07,847 --> 00:13:09,849
It's, uh... I have something
to pass down to my kids.
397
00:13:09,849 --> 00:13:11,372
It's-it's important
to have a legacy.
398
00:13:11,372 --> 00:13:13,113
Oh, yes. You know, I...
399
00:13:13,113 --> 00:13:15,202
I wouldn't know, though.
I, you know, I...
400
00:13:15,202 --> 00:13:17,117
I don't have
any children of my own.
401
00:13:17,117 --> 00:13:19,163
Oh, yeah.
402
00:13:19,163 --> 00:13:20,947
- What is this guy's deal?
- Oh, here they are.
403
00:13:20,947 --> 00:13:23,167
It's, like,
everything you've ever wanted.
404
00:13:23,167 --> 00:13:25,952
Kind of sad, really, uh,
me keeping letters
405
00:13:25,952 --> 00:13:28,259
that, uh, weren't even for me.
406
00:13:28,259 --> 00:13:30,609
You know. But, uh,
407
00:13:30,609 --> 00:13:34,134
I guess I just, uh,
wanted a connection, uh...
408
00:13:35,919 --> 00:13:37,137
...with my dad.
409
00:13:38,530 --> 00:13:40,140
Yeah.
410
00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:43,927
That is sad.
411
00:13:43,927 --> 00:13:45,972
If I could just... Yeah.
Thank you.
412
00:13:45,972 --> 00:13:48,279
I mean, you know,
there's nothing more...
413
00:13:48,279 --> 00:13:50,324
more important in this world
than the connection
414
00:13:50,324 --> 00:13:52,326
between a father and a son.
415
00:13:52,326 --> 00:13:55,068
Well, besides the connection
between a son and a mother.
416
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:56,548
Right, Mom?
417
00:13:58,506 --> 00:14:00,204
She's smashing.
418
00:14:00,204 --> 00:14:02,597
- Yeah, she took off, man.
- Yeah, she had to smash.
419
00:14:02,597 --> 00:14:05,557
Well, I guess we could wait
for her in the car.
420
00:14:05,557 --> 00:14:07,167
This is so annoying.
421
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:08,777
I mean, you're gonna
take time out of my day,
422
00:14:08,777 --> 00:14:10,301
and you have everything you've
ever dreamed of right here,
423
00:14:10,301 --> 00:14:12,259
but we're gonna just blow
right past it, aren't we?
424
00:14:12,259 --> 00:14:13,913
It's probably time to go, huh?
425
00:14:13,913 --> 00:14:15,915
- Well, uh, o-okay.
- Yeah.
426
00:14:15,915 --> 00:14:17,264
Okay, well-well, uh,
you know, hey,
427
00:14:17,264 --> 00:14:19,223
if you ever want to, uh,
you know, hang out,
428
00:14:19,223 --> 00:14:21,616
you know, we could throw
the old football around.
429
00:14:21,616 --> 00:14:23,401
Ah, I don't really like
playing football.
430
00:14:23,401 --> 00:14:25,055
It's kind of for jocks.
431
00:14:25,055 --> 00:14:26,360
- It's all he ever talks about
- No, it's like...
432
00:14:26,360 --> 00:14:28,145
Is wanting to have
a catch with his dad, so...
433
00:14:28,145 --> 00:14:29,015
Nah, 'cause remember
we were talking about how
434
00:14:29,015 --> 00:14:30,451
it was like a... for jocks?
435
00:14:30,451 --> 00:14:32,410
- Uh, no. That never happened.
- Oh.
436
00:14:32,410 --> 00:14:34,412
Uh, yeah, well, uh,
we could read.
437
00:14:34,412 --> 00:14:35,848
- We could read.
- Oh, but, like, he can't read.
438
00:14:35,848 --> 00:14:37,328
- Imagine that. Imagine that.
- He can't read, so...
439
00:14:37,328 --> 00:14:38,372
Yeah, but he's not talking
about me, he's talking about
440
00:14:38,372 --> 00:14:39,634
- bonding with you.
- Yeah, like...
441
00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:41,071
But we're gonna
blow right past this, huh?
442
00:14:41,071 --> 00:14:42,550
Reading is for nerds, so...
443
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:43,943
- Yeah, is that what it is?
- Yeah.
444
00:14:43,943 --> 00:14:45,249
- Uh, cards?
- Uh, well,
445
00:14:45,249 --> 00:14:47,381
the thing about cards
is, like, with the...
446
00:14:47,381 --> 00:14:50,123
the jacks and the queens
and the kings and, like,
447
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:51,733
I don't like
celebrating royalty.
448
00:14:51,733 --> 00:14:53,735
- You know, he-he knows that.
- Oh, my God, dude.
449
00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:55,563
- Oh, my God, man.
- You know that. We've talked about that.
450
00:14:55,563 --> 00:14:57,957
You're driving me crazy, dude.
All right, fine, let's go.
451
00:14:57,957 --> 00:15:00,220
- Bye-bye.
- Okay, maybe you guys can swap phone numbers or...
452
00:15:00,220 --> 00:15:02,570
- I think that would be weird.
- No? No, not gonna do it?
453
00:15:02,570 --> 00:15:04,487
- That would be weird. Okay.
- Fine, then this was a good waste of our time, wasn't it?
454
00:15:04,529 --> 00:15:07,532
- Well, there it is.
- The ocean.
455
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,750
- Yep.
- Mm.
456
00:15:08,750 --> 00:15:09,751
Beautiful.
Probably brings back
457
00:15:09,751 --> 00:15:10,970
a lot of good memories.
458
00:15:10,970 --> 00:15:12,754
- Right, Frank?
- Absolutely.
459
00:15:12,754 --> 00:15:15,757
- Yeah.
- You guys, uh, mind if I...
460
00:15:15,757 --> 00:15:18,197
- Oh, no. Of course. No, please. Please. Yeah.
- Please. Yeah.
461
00:15:19,457 --> 00:15:21,415
Take that you, cesspool.
462
00:15:21,415 --> 00:15:24,418
Polluted sack of shit.
463
00:15:24,418 --> 00:15:26,638
You know, Dee, I kind of feel
like we did a good thing here.
464
00:15:26,638 --> 00:15:29,380
I do, too.
We gave him a good day.
465
00:15:29,380 --> 00:15:31,077
- Mm-hmm.
- For him.
466
00:15:31,077 --> 00:15:32,644
Not for a normal person.
467
00:15:32,644 --> 00:15:33,645
Yeah. Jesus.
468
00:15:35,821 --> 00:15:37,257
Right.
469
00:15:37,257 --> 00:15:38,432
You all done, bud?
470
00:15:38,432 --> 00:15:40,782
- Yeah. Thanks, guys.
- Yeah.
471
00:15:40,782 --> 00:15:42,436
- Good. Hey, oh, absolutely.
- Yeah.
472
00:15:42,436 --> 00:15:44,438
- You got it.
- Hey, listen, where to now, Frank?
473
00:15:44,438 --> 00:15:46,092
- We want to take you somewhere.
- Uh, no, it's okay. I get it.
474
00:15:46,092 --> 00:15:48,051
I-I thought it was
a cash grab at first,
475
00:15:48,051 --> 00:15:50,053
but I see where you're going.
476
00:15:50,053 --> 00:15:52,446
The hamburger, playing
with Duncan under the bridge,
477
00:15:52,446 --> 00:15:53,665
and now the beach.
478
00:15:53,665 --> 00:15:55,493
A perfect day
can't last forever.
479
00:15:55,493 --> 00:15:57,277
I know why we're here.
480
00:15:57,277 --> 00:15:59,453
Oh. You do?
481
00:15:59,453 --> 00:16:00,759
Gosh.
482
00:16:00,759 --> 00:16:02,326
Thanks for making it
so easy on us.
483
00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:04,154
- We expected more resistance.
- Yeah.
484
00:16:04,154 --> 00:16:06,547
Well, I guess hung on
a little bit too long.
485
00:16:06,547 --> 00:16:09,028
- A little bit.
- And afterwards, you guys can have the money.
486
00:16:09,028 --> 00:16:10,638
- You mean it?
- Really?
487
00:16:10,638 --> 00:16:12,510
Yeah. Here.
488
00:16:12,510 --> 00:16:14,642
Oh. Gosh.
489
00:16:14,642 --> 00:16:17,036
I-I got to say, this-this went
490
00:16:17,036 --> 00:16:18,690
- so much more smoothly than I...
- Yeah, it really did.
491
00:16:18,690 --> 00:16:20,997
Uh, just do it when I'm looking
out at the ocean.
492
00:16:24,174 --> 00:16:25,305
Huh?
493
00:16:25,305 --> 00:16:28,134
Ah, don't be coy.
I had a good run.
494
00:16:28,134 --> 00:16:29,744
- What are you...
- And it's really good
495
00:16:29,744 --> 00:16:30,658
you didn't do it
in front of Charlie.
496
00:16:30,658 --> 00:16:31,833
That was a class move.
497
00:16:31,833 --> 00:16:33,661
Just put me down quick.
498
00:16:35,446 --> 00:16:37,056
Put you down? Wha...
499
00:16:37,056 --> 00:16:38,666
Oh, you know what?
I think I'm gonna run,
500
00:16:38,666 --> 00:16:40,581
and then you do
what you have to do.
501
00:16:40,581 --> 00:16:43,062
But if you shoot me in the leg,
come over and finish me off,
502
00:16:43,062 --> 00:16:44,716
because I don't want
to lay there and suffer.
503
00:16:44,716 --> 00:16:46,152
- Actually, here, I'm gonna take...
- What?
504
00:16:46,152 --> 00:16:47,675
What the hell are you doing?
505
00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:49,808
I'm gonna go natural,
because I've seen
506
00:16:49,808 --> 00:16:52,854
too many guys die
and take a shit in their pants.
507
00:16:52,854 --> 00:16:54,552
I don't want that.
And bury my poop.
508
00:16:54,552 --> 00:16:56,423
Or just kick some sand over it.
509
00:16:56,423 --> 00:16:58,338
'Cause... And then you can do
what you want to do.
510
00:16:58,338 --> 00:17:01,080
You can float me out into
the ocean and let sharks eat me.
511
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:02,342
Or you can leave me
on the ground,
512
00:17:02,342 --> 00:17:03,387
gruesome for the kids to see.
513
00:17:03,387 --> 00:17:05,519
Oh, ugh. Oh, my God.
514
00:17:05,519 --> 00:17:07,739
We are not gonna
kill you, Frank.
515
00:17:07,739 --> 00:17:09,697
- Huh?
- What, did you think
516
00:17:09,697 --> 00:17:11,830
we were just gonna shoot you
right here on the beach?
517
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:13,005
I mean,
there-there's people around.
518
00:17:13,005 --> 00:17:14,615
I'm actually surprised
they didn't run
519
00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:16,878
- when you started shooting the ocean.
- I-I'm not.
520
00:17:16,878 --> 00:17:18,837
It's the Jersey Shore.
But good God, man.
521
00:17:18,837 --> 00:17:20,447
Well, if you're not gonna
snuff me out,
522
00:17:20,447 --> 00:17:22,188
what the hell are you doing?
523
00:17:22,188 --> 00:17:23,842
We were giving you
one last day with your gun.
524
00:17:23,842 --> 00:17:25,583
Yeah, it's time
to let it go, Frank.
525
00:17:25,583 --> 00:17:26,671
You were stealing my gun?
526
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:27,846
- Well...
- Screw that.
527
00:17:27,846 --> 00:17:29,152
No, it's too dangerous, Frank.
528
00:17:29,152 --> 00:17:30,675
You're out of control
with that thing.
529
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,198
By the way,
you're out of the will again.
530
00:17:32,198 --> 00:17:33,808
- What?
- Why? Just because of the gun? - Yeah.
531
00:17:33,808 --> 00:17:37,160
Exactly. Because I don't
trust you two guys.
532
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:39,771
I mean, if you're in the will,
who knows?
533
00:17:39,771 --> 00:17:41,599
You may wind up
shooting me in the back.
534
00:17:41,599 --> 00:17:43,905
- Aah!
- You just told us to shoot you in the back!
535
00:17:43,905 --> 00:17:45,472
That's different.
It's not the same thing.
536
00:17:45,472 --> 00:17:46,647
Take me back to Philly.
537
00:17:46,647 --> 00:17:47,822
You get an Uber.
538
00:17:47,822 --> 00:17:49,476
- Yeah.
- Get in the car.
539
00:17:49,476 --> 00:17:51,174
- Goddamn it.
- Go on. Let's go. - Dee,
540
00:17:51,174 --> 00:17:53,214
- why'd you let him snatch that thing back?
- I-I...
541
00:17:54,742 --> 00:17:56,875
All right, let's go.
542
00:17:56,875 --> 00:17:58,703
- Just barge right in, Mom.
- O-Okay.
543
00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:00,748
Don't-don't be shy, okay?
544
00:18:00,748 --> 00:18:02,576
Bunny?
545
00:18:02,576 --> 00:18:04,839
Candy?
546
00:18:04,839 --> 00:18:08,234
- Are you home?
- Which one is the can?
547
00:18:08,234 --> 00:18:09,409
There's probably, like,
a million bathrooms.
548
00:18:09,409 --> 00:18:11,455
Just go find a bathroom,
Mrs. Mac.
549
00:18:11,455 --> 00:18:14,153
I don't remember those
being your sisters' names.
550
00:18:14,153 --> 00:18:16,155
No, it's not their names.
They had their names changed.
551
00:18:16,155 --> 00:18:18,331
Oh. How do they afford
to live like this?
552
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,332
T-They're doing
some, like, stupid,
553
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,899
like, social media thing.
554
00:18:20,899 --> 00:18:22,422
I-I don't know, I guess
they're making a killing on it.
555
00:18:22,422 --> 00:18:25,208
Hey! Candy, Bunny!
556
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:26,339
- Candy...
- Oh, my God.
557
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,949
Mom, what are you doing here?
558
00:18:27,949 --> 00:18:29,777
Well, we just wanted
to drive up...
559
00:18:29,777 --> 00:18:30,952
Why'd you bring Dirt Grub?
560
00:18:30,952 --> 00:18:32,302
Oh, yeah, hi.
Nice to see you, too.
561
00:18:32,302 --> 00:18:33,433
Shut up, fag!
562
00:18:33,433 --> 00:18:34,434
Why'd you bring your fag friend?
563
00:18:34,434 --> 00:18:35,653
Yeah, why is Mac here?
564
00:18:35,653 --> 00:18:37,785
This is so distasteful.
565
00:18:37,785 --> 00:18:39,309
Uh, dude, uh...
566
00:18:39,309 --> 00:18:40,440
You know what? I'm not
gonna argue with you guys.
567
00:18:40,440 --> 00:18:41,615
- Oh, you're not?
- Okay? No, I'm just here
568
00:18:41,615 --> 00:18:43,661
- for the teeth.
- No, you can't have them.
569
00:18:43,661 --> 00:18:45,184
Yeah, you can't
have them, Charlie.
570
00:18:45,184 --> 00:18:46,490
- You can't have them.
- Mom gave them to us.
571
00:18:46,490 --> 00:18:48,013
Well, what do you even care
about the teeth?
572
00:18:48,013 --> 00:18:49,710
I-I thought you always said
they were weird and gross.
573
00:18:49,710 --> 00:18:51,234
- They are weird and gross.
- Yeah, super gross,
574
00:18:51,234 --> 00:18:52,452
but people like that stuff,
so we need them.
575
00:18:52,452 --> 00:18:54,585
- We need them.
- Need them for what?
576
00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:55,673
ASMR, dickweed.
577
00:18:55,673 --> 00:18:58,241
Yeah. ASMR.
578
00:18:58,241 --> 00:18:59,981
What is that? What even is that?
579
00:18:59,981 --> 00:19:02,506
We stick our hands in the jar.
580
00:19:02,506 --> 00:19:04,551
People pay to watch us
stick our hand in the jar.
581
00:19:04,551 --> 00:19:05,944
- They pay for that shit.
- Yeah.
582
00:19:05,944 --> 00:19:07,467
They like the noise
of the teeth,
583
00:19:07,467 --> 00:19:08,947
and they give us a lot
of money on OnlyFans.
584
00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:10,470
- Like, a lot of money.
- What?
585
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:12,516
- More than you could ever imagine.
- Yeah.
586
00:19:12,516 --> 00:19:14,257
All you're doing is sticking
your hands in teeth
587
00:19:14,257 --> 00:19:16,476
and people pay you enough
to live like this?
588
00:19:16,476 --> 00:19:19,305
- We obviously take our tops off. Like...
- Obviously.
589
00:19:19,305 --> 00:19:20,698
- Oh, girls.
- Oh, my God.
590
00:19:20,698 --> 00:19:22,482
- Shut up, slut.
- You're literally a slut.
591
00:19:22,482 --> 00:19:24,310
All right, you know what? Give
me the teeth. Give me the teeth.
592
00:19:24,310 --> 00:19:25,572
No. Finders keepers, bitch.
593
00:19:25,572 --> 00:19:26,878
- Finders keepers.
- You did not find them!
594
00:19:26,878 --> 00:19:28,401
- Mom gave them to you!
- Yeah, she did.
595
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,838
- Okay, we're her favorite.
- I clogged the toilet.
596
00:19:30,838 --> 00:19:33,667
- What the hell? Gross.
- Who is this old lady clogging our toilet?
597
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:34,799
That's my mommy.
598
00:19:34,799 --> 00:19:36,496
- Gross, Mac!
- Gross, Mac!
599
00:19:36,496 --> 00:19:37,671
Why did you clog our toilet?
600
00:19:37,671 --> 00:19:39,543
Why'd you clog our toilet,
old lady?
601
00:19:39,543 --> 00:19:41,458
There was no TP.
602
00:19:41,458 --> 00:19:43,721
If there was no TP,
what did you wipe with?
603
00:19:44,939 --> 00:19:45,839
The letters.
604
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,074
You wiped your butt
with the letters
605
00:19:49,074 --> 00:19:51,337
that Grandpop sent Dad and then
flushed them down the toilet?
606
00:19:51,337 --> 00:19:52,860
Yeah.
607
00:19:52,860 --> 00:19:54,601
Oh, my God.
608
00:19:54,601 --> 00:19:56,255
This is so weird, guys.
You got to go.
609
00:19:56,255 --> 00:19:57,517
- All right, you know what?
- No. No.
610
00:19:57,517 --> 00:19:59,389
Hey, hey. Put that down.
611
00:19:59,389 --> 00:20:00,912
This is gonna be
the new Kelly family heirloom,
612
00:20:00,912 --> 00:20:02,696
and I'm gonna put
all my teeth in it
613
00:20:02,696 --> 00:20:05,743
and all of Mom's teeth in it
and none of yours.
614
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:08,833
Okay.
615
00:20:08,833 --> 00:20:09,921
Oh, uh, yep.
616
00:20:09,921 --> 00:20:12,010
- Yep. Yep.
- You got to stop
617
00:20:12,010 --> 00:20:14,404
doing that. You're not gonna
have any teeth left.
618
00:20:14,404 --> 00:20:15,753
You sure you don't want
to pop a couple in?
619
00:20:15,753 --> 00:20:16,710
You know, you can be
a part of my legacy, dude.
620
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:17,755
I-I feel like you should be.
621
00:20:17,755 --> 00:20:19,496
- No, I-I'm good.
- Yeah?
622
00:20:19,496 --> 00:20:20,801
- Yeah, I'm good.
- All right, I'll tell you what.
623
00:20:20,801 --> 00:20:21,802
When one-one falls out,
go ahead and toss it in.
624
00:20:21,802 --> 00:20:23,543
- It's cool.
- It won't.
625
00:20:27,417 --> 00:20:29,723
Yeah. There. Take that, lock.
626
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:33,292
Oh, what the hell, man?
627
00:20:33,292 --> 00:20:35,076
And the door wasn't even locked.
628
00:20:35,076 --> 00:20:36,295
You're paying
for that door, Frank.
629
00:20:36,295 --> 00:20:37,775
All right, all right.
630
00:20:37,775 --> 00:20:39,820
Well, this is great.
This is just great.
631
00:20:39,820 --> 00:20:40,734
You know, like, now
what are we supposed to all put
632
00:20:40,734 --> 00:20:42,997
- our teeth in?
- Our faces?
633
00:20:42,997 --> 00:20:44,651
- What are you talking about?
- I'm talking about our legacy.
634
00:20:44,651 --> 00:20:46,218
You know?
I can't hold onto it, man.
635
00:20:46,218 --> 00:20:47,959
Legacy? You want to talk legacy?
You know what our legacy is?
636
00:20:47,959 --> 00:20:49,569
Spending our lives
in this goddamn bar
637
00:20:49,569 --> 00:20:51,702
with a lunatic man
who acts like a dog
638
00:20:51,702 --> 00:20:53,573
and handles
his gun like a maniac!
639
00:20:53,573 --> 00:20:55,575
Oh, fine.
640
00:20:55,575 --> 00:20:58,535
I see where this
pity party's headed.
641
00:20:58,535 --> 00:21:00,406
If you're gonna be
crybabies about it,
642
00:21:00,406 --> 00:21:02,626
all right, take my gun.
643
00:21:05,019 --> 00:21:06,891
- Ow! Ow!
- Shit!
644
00:21:08,371 --> 00:21:09,763
Shit.
645
00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:11,939
Well, there you have it, Frank.
646
00:21:11,939 --> 00:21:13,941
You've officially shot
everyone in the bar.
647
00:21:13,991 --> 00:21:18,541
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