Original subtitles

This film contains some strong language

and some scenes of a sexual nature.

I want you. I want YOU!

SHE SIGHS

'Iris!'

Iris, wait for me! Just keep tight hold of me and it'll be all right!

You won't keep still! I can't keep still! I can't catch up with you!

Speed up! Oh! Whoa!

IRIS SCREAMS, JOHN LAUGHS

CHURCH BELL TOLLS

Iris, you've got bicycle oil on your ankle. I don't care, John. Oh.

Those of you, our guests, on whose magnificent generosity we depend,

we really are most frightfully grateful,

will need no introduction to one of our most distinguished graduates,

and an honorary fellow, Dame Iris Murdoch.

She's a noted philosopher, as well as author of some 26 novels,

and we're honoured to have her with us today, and the distinguished Warton Professor of Literature,

who has the great good fortune

of being married to her.

HE WHISPERS, AUDIENCE LAUGHS

I need say no more, for good wine needs no bush,

but she will not mind comparison with, say, a really fine vintage claret.

LAUGHTER

Dame Iris will speak to you about the importance of education.

Education doesn't make you happy, and nor does freedom.

We don't become happy just because we're free, if we are,

or because we've been educated, if we have,

but because education may be the means by which we realise we are happy.

It opens our eyes, our ears,

tells us where delights are lurking,

convinces us that there is only one freedom

of any importance whatsoever - that of the mind -

and gives us the assurance, the confidence,

to walk the path our mind, our educated mind, offers.

# I shall tell him all my love

# All my soul's adoration

# And I think he will hear me

# And will not say me nay

# It is this that gives my soul

# All its joyous elation

# As I hear the sweet lark sing

# In the clear air of the day. #

Of course there's something fishy about describing people's feelings!

Try to be accurate, but when you define it, language lets you down.

When we really speak the truth, words are insufficient.

Almost everything, except things like, "Pass the gravy," is a lie of a sort.

That being the case,

I shall shut up.

PEOPLE LAUGH

Oh, and pass the gravy.

MORE LAUGHTER

But love...

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

..and real love, extreme love, once recognised, has the stamp... Ah, John. Meet Miss Murdoch.

Iris, my dear - John Bayley, one of the more promising lecturers in the English school,

though I caught him out over Old English grammar. His weakness, I fear.

A minor question of syntax...

SHE WALKS AWAY

Wine...

HE COUGHS

I mean...went down the wrong way. COUGHING CONTINUES

Yes, I like that. There is a right way down.

Amazing how most of us find it without even thinking about it... I-I rarely think.

If you think about it, you won't find it. Best to trust the body. I do.

OLDER IRIS: Human beings love each other.

In sex, in friendship, and when they're in love.

And they cherish other beings -

humans, animals, plants, even stones.

The quest for happiness and the promotion of happiness is in all of this,

and the power of our imagination.

I'm writing a n-novel. I don't suppose you'd have the time or the inclination to r-read the n-novel.

I've written one. It's going to be published.

And I'm writing another. Oh? C-can I read it?

No-one has read it. None of my friends.

What's it about? About?

It has something for everyone. A b-bit like Shakespeare?

Perhaps, yes. Please don't talk to anyone about it.

N-no! Of course not! I won't t-tell a soul!

Every human soul has seen, perhaps even before their birth...

..pure forms, such as justice, temperance,

beauty, and all the great moral qualities which we hold in honour.

We are moved towards what is good by the faint memory of these forms.

Simple, and calm and blessed,

which we saw once in a pure clear light,

being pure ourselves.

JINGLE ON TANNOY FOLLOWED BY ANNOUNCEMENT

Wholegrain. Do we have wholegrain or something other?

What is whole? Something in itself or with parts?

Spaghetti. If you have a whole, you have a whole. Sausages.

We are a whole. If you toddle off, there's a hole in it, or if I do.

A whole can't be broken. It just forms another whole. Beans. Beans!

Do you want premium points? Do we deserve them?! Do you want bags? Bags, yes.

It's all around us - people like us talking nonsense.

I know! I know! Bag for life? For life?! That's what it says.

We have to ask - give you the choice. Ooh, rather! You just have to listen. That's the job.

You call it a job. It's like music, what you do.

You live with angels, speak their language, the music of the spheres.

The fact is the only language anyone understands is pictures.

Paint the picture!

See? Now I'm bagged for life.

THEY LAUGH

Love's the only language everyone understands. Love, yes!

I can read it, but I can't speak it!

Ooh! Ooh! I'm caught on your chair.

Captain says, "Two weevils drop out of a biscuit - which would you rather have?" The bigger one, sir.

"Wrong, Mr Smith, wrong. In the Navy, you should choose the lesser of the two weevils."

Patrick O'Brien. "Between two evils, choose the one you haven't tried." Mae West.

Oh, my vest! I tore my vest today! We must get some new vests. Good.

We must get some new vests.

I just said that.

You're always saying that you just said something. Me, too!

Good job you reminded me I had two lectures today. You remembered?

No, only to apologise for the one I forgot. They were sweet about it.

Glad not to have to listen to you, I expect. Oh, I'm sure!

They'd have been delighted to have listened to you. I always have been.

THUNDER RUMBLES

Iris! John! Eugh!

Thank you. Keep the change ..Janet! Janet!

Oh, my God! Iris!

Am I late?!

Oh, no! It's the hokey cokey! Everything will be over!

John, wait! My stocking! Oh, dear!

MUSIC STARTS

Stupid thing!

MUSIC: INSTRUMENTAL VERSION OF "Sway"

Sorry.

# Cha-cha-cha! Cha-cha-cha! Cha-cha-cha! #

Oh!

# Cha-cha-cha... #

Thank you. You, too.

That was my husband.

Are you with Iris?

H-H-Hoping so! You know we have... I thought we had. ..nearly met.

Are you a friend of Iris? Yes!

She seems to have a lot of...

IRIS HUMS ALONG WITH THE TUNE

IRIS SQUEALS AND LAUGHS

Janet Stone. John Bayley! How do you do? H-how do you do?

Shall we? What are your rooms like?

Adequate, thank you. I'd like to see them. Oh?!

BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

Do you have a lot of friends? Is a list of my friends necessary?

I-I just wondered if you had many. There aren't many people that one wants to know one. Do you...?

SHE SCREAMS

Iris!

SHE LAUGHS

You might f-fall. Would you like some champagne? That would be nice.

I've had some since Christmas. It does keep, doesn't it?

I sh-shouldn't be doing this.

What? Having women in my room. It's not p-permitted.

I wouldn't say you'd had me exactly.

Have you danced before? It was all right, wasn't it?

Oh, I think so. It b-broke the ice, so to speak.

Ice! What?

Oh, it'll do.

Aren't you particular about words at your college?

I-I'm only here on a sufferance, really, as a tutor and guide.

I get all the Americans and Frenchmen to m-mother.

You love words, don't you?

If one doesn't have words, how does one think?

Shall I do that? Hmm...

W-What is your n-novel about?

About?

How to be free. How to be good.

CORK POPS

And how to love.

Well, that's all there is, I'd say.

Well, language is all very well, you know, but it's not the only way of understanding each other.

There's sight and smell and... and touch, of course.

I-I love your nose.

It's snub.

Snubby.

(Snubby, snubby.)

(Snubby, snubby, snubby.)

Let me do that to you. Take off your jacket.

If we were, as it were, m-married, we could do this all the time.

Perhaps.

We should be doing it nearly all the time. Yes, we...

Thank you.

HOWLING >

Look.

Ah!

Stopping you working? Yes, well, I don't mind.

How's it coming along?

It's harder to write than all the others, much. Have you noticed?

Just that you've seemed... puzzled every now and again.

That's it, yes.

Puzzled.

Puzz... Pu...

Puzzled. That's a funny word.

All words are like that when you take them by surprise, aren't they?

Have you got a title?

A Lot Of Trees Seem Near.

FOX HOWLS CAT SQUEALS >

CAT HISSES

We must stop it!

What to do? What to do? The window, John! The window! We must stop it!

Look, see.

It's gone.

Hmm.

We all worry about going mad, don't we?

How would we know?

Those of us who live in our minds anyway?

Other people would tell us.

Would they, John?

MUSIC: "I Don't Want To Set The World On Fire!" by the Ink Spots

BICYCLE BELL RINGS

Sorry!

John Bayley.

I haven't seen her for ages. Oh, j-jolly good. Nice.

Takes all sorts. Not that I...

We're all m-men at St Anthony's.

Do you like women? I mean, do women like you?

You mean lesbians? Yes. Would it bother you if they did?

The s-same thing happens with me, with h-homosexuals, I mean.

And do you go to bed with them? Lord, no!

At the college, they're all, as somebody once said to me,

"Old-fashioned lesbians of the very highest type."

HE LAUGHS LOUDLY And do you go to bed with them?

TYPEWRITER CLICKS

SHE SIGHS, SHE WHISPERS TO HERSELF

DOG BARKS

MEN ON STREET ARE SINGING AND LAUGHING

Dame Iris!

It's this way.

'She's written philosophy and plays and poetry,'

but her novels are her lasting literary legacy.

Iris Murdoch is acknowledged as the foremost English novelist of her generation.

A little excessive, don't you think?

What do you reckon? Shall I take that again?

Her novels embrace the subjects of freedom and what it means to be good...

Dame Iris? ..studies in the successes and failures of love.

She's written philosophy and plays and poetry, but her novels are her lasting...

YOUNG IRIS: People are very secretive, and, for many reasons,

want to appear what we call ordinary.

Everybody has thoughts they want to conceal.

Perhaps even quite simple aspects of their lives.

People have obsessions and fears and passions which they don't admit to.

I think any character is interesting and has extremes.

It's a novelist's privilege to...see how odd everyone is.

In your novels, you yourself are very exact in your use of language.

But in general terms, do you think the language is becoming debased?

Well, reading and writing and the preservation of language and its forms

and...the kind of eloquence and the kind of beauty that language is capable of

is something terribly important to human beings, because...

..this is connected to thought.

If children are not taught...

W-What did you say? I was asking about the importance of language.

'John!'

John?! John?! John?!

Iris?!

John?!

Oh, you're there! What is it? I'm back. Earlier than I thought.

I came straight back. I didn't know why I was there.

To do an interview. What interview?! I don't know.

So, um... To see your publisher?

So... Was it your publisher? So I came back.

I didn't expect you back...! Is she around? You didn't answer. Is Nora?! Iris, Nora's dead!

Oh, so she is! Oh, that is sad. Oh, never mind.

It must've been Ed...before.

Oh, yes! My book!

Oh! So I came back.

What is, er... the name of the Prime Minister?

Oh, me? Are you asking me? Yes, I am.

I know. OK, what is the name of the Prime Minister?

I don't know. Ask John. Surely it doesn't matter.

OK, well... No, not really. Someone will know.

JOHN GIGGLES

Who would you like to see?

Is there anyone...? I don't know! Shall I look up some names?

Talk to someone? I have ideas, but they won't come together.

It happens all the time - forgetting names.

Um... Does it happen all the time?

Does she mean writer's block? I suppose she does. Iris can always write... I know.

Iris is a person... But it doesn't work like...

Surely, in her case - a woman with a first-class mind...

We'll have to be certain. There'll have to be tests, scans.

I don't think I can... I mean, it's a little beyond my competence.

Iris finds her new book very tiring and difficult.

Basically, I'll arrange something. Iris has a very clear mind.

Mine's a muddle, but not hers. She does everything. Always has.

Food, shopping, tickets for things.

I never know how she m-manages and does her b-books as well!

Well, they can get you help.

N-No, no.

N-Nobody would suit. We're a bit odd.

There's a good place, a specialist nursing home. Unnecessary. Not yet.

I'm sorry. Not your fault.

Well, take care. Goodbye, Doctor. Thank you.

MILK BOTTLES CLINK

Goodbye.

Iris?! I'm sure the country won't go to the dogs.

Not knowing the Prime Minister is not a capital offence. Absolutely! I know the names that matter.

It'll be all right. I will be, if you stop worrying. I've got a book to finish.

Ah! Tony Blair! So there!

Iris, are you comfortable? I'm going to start the scan now.

Just keep nice and still. Try to relax.

It'll take about 15 minutes.

John! Janet. Sorry! Is Iris still...?

I'm so sorry I'm late! I don't know what's going to happen, Janet.

The car's outside. The engine's running. I won't be a mo. Right. See you out there! Yes!

John, I'm frightened. Everyone's doing their best.

Janet's got the car.

It'll...be...

It's done. You've finished?! I thought you were close.

So far, it hasn't made any difference.

Here's to it. I'll just try and keep working.

You must! I will. Here's to the next one.

Keep working, keep talking, keep the words coming. Keep at it.

I'll be like a deprived animal if I can't write, like a starved dog.

No, keep at it! I'll keep you at it.

I feel...as though I'm sailing into darkness.

COMPUTER WHIRS, BUTTON CLICKS

A thing you eat with.

An-im...al.

Toothbrush.

Er... Er, no.

Yes!

Por...

P... No.

Tennis thing.

A god.

Iris is getting t-tired, I'm afraid. John!

Can we have the blinds? Dame Iris, thank you very much.

PEOPLE APPLAUD Well done. Dame Iris, thank you. Thank you, Dame, Iris. Thank you.

So kind of you to come, Dame Iris. Thank you, I like it. Is it any help? To us? Yes.

It's...implacable. What does that mean?

It means...inexorable. I know what the word means.

Um, to me, to us.

You see? Words have meant everything to her.

They still mean something, some thought. It can't just be dead bird's dropping!

I know what it means and... it doesn't surprise me.

It frightens me, but then, sometimes it doesn't frighten me,

and that's just as bad, because that's it winning, isn't it?

N-n-no, no!

It's not! It won't win!

It WILL win. There - it will win.

That's very kind.

WOMAN SCREAMING

'Iris!'

Iris, wait for me! Just keep tight hold of me and it'll be all right!

You won't keep still! I can't keep still! Oh, I can't catch up with you!

Speed up! Oh! Whoa!

IRIS SCREAMS, JOHN LAUGHS

THUNDER RUMBLES, CAR DOOR SLAMS

Oh, good morning! Oh, no!

Er... I...

I think it's the...person who brings the post, John!

Yes, it is. Yes. ..John? ..So sorry. Thank you.

Thank you very much indeed. Thank you. So sorry.

Right.

Go on. Go on.

It's only the postman. It's only the postman.

Don't repeat everything, puss. It's only the postman.

It's for you! It's your book!

What's that?! Your book! It's only the postman.

It's your book! Isn't it perfectly splendid?!

Why don't you look at it? It's only the postman.

CUPS CLINK

CRASH!

Oh, damn!

Stop nudging up to me like a water buffalo!

I have a lot to do! Lots to do, Iris!

See what I've done now?! ..It's not your fault. I'm sorry.

It's only the postman. Yes! All right! It's only the postman! Sorry, so sorry. Lots to do.

Which side do I go?

HE SIGHS

TONY BLAIR ON TV: 'Ask me my three main priorities for government,'

and I tell you - education,

education and education.

APPLAUSE

John! John! Why does he keep saying that?!

What does he mean?! By what?

Education, education, education!

It means learning and getting enough of it.

Why does he keep saying it?! Politicians have to repeat things to make themselves heard.

They have to be like travellers eating sheep's eyes with Bedouins -

they have to do anything to make themselves liked.

Why does he want to eat a sheep's ear? Shall I turn it off?

No!

We could go for a swim tomorrow, if it's not raining. No. Yes! You love water.

When you swim, you love it. Swim? Swim is good for you.

When are we leaving? Not today.

Are we going to London? No, we're going for a swim.

When are we leaving?

Not today.

When are we leaving?

Iris? Iris, wait for me!

You dirty old man! Hello!

There we go.

No, not with your socks on! Your socks!

BOYS LAUGH

Come on! Come on! Come along!

Go on!

Ooh! Terribly...

HE MUMBLES AND LAUGHS

THEY SHOUT AND LAUGH

Ah!

Agh! Give me your hand. Agh! ..That's it. That's it.

No, no, don't! You'll pull me in! Agh!

Are you all right?

SHE COUGHS

Hand up. Up with your hands. Oh! Let's get you warm.

That's it. That's it.

Come on. That's you. No! No, Iris! Iris! What?!

Put your hands like this. Let's get your head... Let go!

Let go now! As soon as we have your head in! No!

As soon as... Let go! Come on! YOUNG IRIS: Where's my petticoat?

Here. Ah.

SHE RINGS THE BELL Are you sure he's expecting me?

DOORBELL RINGS

Maurice. I brought John. You said I might. Did I? And did you say you would?

Yes. Well, come in.

Maurice, John. J-John Bayley.

Isn't it hot? Yes, it is. I've got just the thing will cool.

I imagine your friend Maurice is hoping to have his wicked way.

Not today, is he?

HE BREAKS THE FOOD NOISILY

You and I are much the same age, aren't we, John? I-I think so.

Does it matter? No.

It's not important, is it? Maurice means that most of my real f...

my OTHER friends are... older than me. Much older.

There's a very good reason for that, isn't there?

Is there?! What? She likes people with a bit of a past.

She uses them, don't you? No, I don't. For your novel.

Don't you, Iris? I haven't read it. ..Haven't you?

Neither have you, Maurice, so don't

play games. Nobody has read it.

CORK POPS

The gentle lady hasn't yet bestowed her favour on anyone.

Iris doesn't like to talk about it. ..Do you, Iris? It's because it's full of people she knows.

All these masters of thought you're so chummy with. Bound to be. We all know.

Isn't it, Iris? No, it isn't, but you can think what you like. You know nothing about it.

Nobody knows but me, and...I'm not telling.

I thought it was a secret - Iris doesn't want it talked about.

Come on, Iris. I'm sure we'll all recognise ourselves. I don't see how you or anyone can. They won't!

Th-they... They won't! I hate that sort of thing!

I won't write a novel that's an autobiography. That's no fun. They won't see themselves.

People written about in novels see themselves differently. I'm sure...

Who said that you can use anyone you like in a novel as long as you say they're good in bed?

Even though... They might not be.

Evelyn Waugh. "And so to bed." Samuel Pepys.

So have you granted your favour to John? ..Told him who's in the novel.

We h-have other things to talk about!

No-one has read my novel. No-one but the publisher.

It doesn't matter. Well, it does. I feel let down.

Am I not a part... some small part of your life?

You were very gallant. V-Very stupid. No, John.

Will you come in?

Have you been e-entertaining?

Yes.

All these people. And to think I chose you.

Obviously, I thought that... I thought, "No competition."

What's this?

A friend made it. Is she a cook, your friend?

No, he's a philosopher, but his real interests are cooking and telephones.

I'd like you to read this.

I was rather afraid you might not like it.

Thank you.

I value your opinion.

Perhaps it's time we made love.

Yes?

Yes. That's what I thought.

Have you got a French letter?

SHE SNIGGERS

A rubber thingy. Oh! Lord, no!

Well...

We'll just have to be careful.

I-I don't exactly...

Probably easier if you take your trousers off.

HE LAUGHS Yes! Yes, of course. I've never...

I'm a r-rather late s-starter. My brother used to have to...

tie my shoelaces for me till I was seven. I don't know if... I do.

It'll all go...

HIS BREATHING QUICKENS Swimmingly.

Oh! Go!

Agh! Help! No! No!

No, no, no! No, Iris!

SHE WHIMPERS

Help! No! No! Don't, Iris! No, Iris! Don't...! No! No!

No! Help! No! Help! Help! I'm trying to help you!

BOTTLES CLATTER, DOOR SLAMS

SHE TAPS LIGHTLY

S-s-s-s... (Sorry.)

WHIMPERING: Please don't, Iris.

You have n-n-nothing to be sorry about.

It'd be unfair, and I couldn't bear it.

We should be saying s-sorry to you.

And not just sorry, but...

Shall I read to you?

Shall I?

"Occupied in observing Mr Bingley's attentions to her sister,

"Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself

"becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend.

"Mr Darcy had, at first, scarcely allowed her to be pretty..."

I...wrote.

Yes, my darling, clever cat. You wrote books!

Books...I wrote.

You wrote novels.

Wonderful novels!

I wrote.

Such things you wrote.

Special things.

Secret things.

Do you know many secrets now, Iris?

You have shown me a map of Iris's brain world empty,

tell me that its hidden mysteries

and all the unknown life in there has gone, has been wiped.

How then can she say things of such a terrible lucidity?

Which bit of the empty jungle does that come from?

Well, we don't know... WE?! YOU don't know!

Don't hide, please!

Is it not remotely possible

that what Iris says is of some consequence, yes?

Yes, perhaps.

So perhaps we ought to learn her language

before the lights go out, what?

The lights WILL go out. Yes, of course they will!

You all keep telling me...us that! I know that! SHE may even know!

Iris!

I'm sure you can write. Just get one word down! Persevere!

Iris! Your notebook!

Wait! No, no, no!

There! There!

Now... That's it.

Well... Come on.

Walk.

We'll read, paddle in the sea...

HE GASPS

..then you'll write,

just like the old days.

CHILDREN LAUGH AND SHOUT

John! Ha-ha!

Iris, Mama.

Look who's here, Iris.

Look who's here. ..Hello! Hello!

Hello.

IRIS IMITATES THE WAVES

Yes, Iris! Sea!

I thought we'd walk, to calm her down. She has an idea for a novel.

Hello, Iris. BOTH GIRLS: Hello, Iris. Talk to her, Janet.

Hello, Iris. The sea's a bit cold for swimming.

Stay as long as you like. There's plenty of room. Don't worry. We don't want to be... You're not!

It's as much for Mum - give her a bit of rest. I can't rush around these days - tummy trouble.

Is she ill? She gets tired easily. She's really not...

What do we do? Just talk to her. Say things that she can write. She can, you know.

It's all right, is it, John?

You know, it'll get better as you get to know each other better.

Iris has got more than one world going on inside her head.

A secret world. Until another book comes out.

I'm the only friend that knows of her secret world.

Oh, John! No, no. It's like living in a fairy story.

I'm the young man in love with a beautiful maiden who disappears into an unknown

and mysterious world every now and again, and who always comes back.

Iris!

Look! Iris!

- Look! He's got his clothes on! - He's got his clothes on!

He's got his clothes on!

THEY KEEP REPEATING: He's got his clothes on!

Seems very sensible to me.

THE GIRLS GIGGLE

CAMERA CLICKS

Janet, are you all right? I'm absolutely fine. I'm fine.

I thought I'd get her to sign this.

Anything. Anything is fine. Just get her to write.

Does she know anything about her past?

Her career, work, friends?

Something of a closed book.

But it's there. I know it.

FOOTSTEPS ON THE PEBBLES >

That's wonderful! Well done, puss!

Good to see your book so well received, Iris. Yes, wasn't it?

You thought you'd never finish it, remember? ..I read her the reviews.

I read you the reviews, Iris. You hated me doing it before.

Would you sign your new book for me, Iris?

It's like postcards - do it at once or you don't. Please.

LAUGHTER

I see an angel.

I think it's you.

They're underwater now.

There are some drugs, aren't there, Iris?

They don't last long, when the friendly fog disperses.

There yawns the precipice before you, doesn't it, puss?

They're beautiful.

Horrible, isn't it? Horrible.

Horrible thing. You're there with your toes at the edge of the precipice.

HE GIGGLES You can say what you like, as long as you make it sound like a joke.

Don't, John! That's cruel. You're wrong. It's nothing, because it's not understood.

She's in her own world now.

Perhaps what she's always wanted.

Come on. Let's go in.

MUSIC: "Que Reste-t-il De Nos Amours?" by Charles Trenet

# Que reste-t-il de nos amours?

# Que reste-t-il de ces beaux jours?

# Une photo, vieille photo

# De ma jeunesse

# Que reste-t-il des billets doux? #

When do we go? # Des mois d'avril Des rendez-vous

# Un souvenir qui me poursuit

# Sans cesse

# Bonheur fane, cheveux au vent

# Baisers voles, reves mouvants

# Que reste-t-il de tout cela?

# Dites-le-moi

# Un petit village Un vieux clocher

# Un paysage

# Si bien cache... #

Chin up, John.

Janet. Yes, puss! Yes!

Don't go. Now, do go.

Soon. We'll... We'll go soon.

Now...

Now.

Who is it? ..Who is it?!

Hello?! Hello?!

HE STIRS

Are you there?!

Wear this!

SHE SINGS TO HERSELF

# ..enchanted... #

HER SINGING CONTINUES

# How much is that doggie in the window? Woof-woof!

# The one with the waggly tail!

# How much is that doggie in the window? Woof-woof!

# I do hope that doggie's for sa-a-a-ale! #

CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

Bravo! Bravo! And another!

Sing your mother's song. ..Sing your mother's song.

OLDER IRIS: # All my soul's adoration

# And I think he will hear me... #

< IRIS HUMS THE SONG'S TUNE

SHE CONTINUES HUMMING

# It is this that gives my soul

# All its joyous elation

# As I hear the sweet lark sing

# In the clear air... #

ECHOED: # Of the day. #

# Dear thoughts are in my mind

# And my soul soars enchanted

# As I hear the sweet lark sing

# In the clear air of the day

# For a tender beaming smile

# To my hope has been granted

# And tomorrow he shall hear

# All my fond heart can say. #

OLDER IRIS: # I hear the sweet lark sing... #

NEWSPAPER RUSTLES AS SHE STEPS ON IT, SHE SIGHS >

Come, gentlemen. We shall have to do better than this.

Aren't you a bad cat?

# And tomorrow he shall hear... # SHE BEGINS TO SING WITH HIM

BOTH: # All my fond heart can tell. #

Teletubbies!

HAPPY JINGLE PLAYS

Morning! Ah, morning. Oh, thank you. Bye. Bye.

THEME TO "Teletubbies"

PLAYS ON TELEVISION

It's only the postman.

'Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies! Time for Teletubbies!

'Tinky Winky! Tinky Winky!' Eh-oh!

Eh-oh. It's only the postman.

It's only the postman. 'Teletubbies! Teletubbies!'

Only the postman. 'Say hello! Eh-oh!'

Only the postman.

"Teletubbies" CONTINUES ON TV

HE CONTINUES TYPING

TELETUBBIES: Uh-oh!

CAR HORN BLARES OUTSIDE

'Where have the Teletubbies gone?'

Remember Proteus! What about Proteus? I'm like Proteus!

You've got to keep hold of me the way Hercules kept hold of him!

Even though he changed into a lion, and a fish, and a snake! Whoa!

BRAKES SCREECH

CAR HORNS BLARE

THUNDER RUMBLES

I'm w-worried about the river. We swim.

You never know, sir.

I have, of course, looked everywhere here already.

YOUNG JOHN: 'Everything you do,

'everything you say, write...

'you do it superbly.'

And you're always going to,

all your life, whatever you do. I know it.

And I-I know you must feel I don't belong in your world.

I don't.

CAR HORN BLARES

KNOCKING

Ah! Ah!

Ah! Between the soup and the baked beans. Thank you! Thank you so much!

I caught her before she got to the checkout. She's been gone for hours!

I thought I'd never see her again! Never!

Well, all's well that... Please. Do tell me your name.

I'm Maurice, John.

Iris's friend?

I was a witness at your wedding. Oh!

Well, I'm late for a meeting.

Maurice, so sorry. So sorry.

W-Were you trying to get away from me?

Did you want to leave me, Iris?

Please?

'Oh!'

MOANING >

'I feel as if I don't know you! When you know everything about me, then I'll be dead!'

He lectures in ancient history. They've a malign influence on you! All of your friends!

He's a teacher! A master of thought! You talk?! You master thoughts together?

We make love, yes, but that's not important! Then he goes home to his wife! Does it frighten you?

I feel like I'm standing in a line of suitors waiting for a kind word.

I'll always give you a kind word! You must accept me as I am!

And I'm to be kept in my box or not kept at all!

Nothing matters, except loving what is good.

Am I good?

Just...

'keep tight hold of me and it'll be all right!'

HE SIGHS

Who are you with now, Iris?!

Who is it?!

SHE STIRS

We're lost! We're lost!

We're lost! We're lost! Shh! MUFFLED: We're lost! We're lost!

We're lost!

SHE GIBBERS, HE IMITATES HER

HE CONTINUES, SHE IMITATES HIM

There's no reason for this! If there is, I don't know it!

John. I hate you, Iris, you stupid cow!

I bloody loathe you! Every bloody inch of you!

All your friends have finished with you! I've got you now!

Nobody else has you any more, except your fucking best friend,

Dr Fucking Alzheimer, with all his fucking gifts!

I've got you now, and I don't want you!

I've never known anything about you at all, and now I don't care!

SHE MUMBLES

I think it's time I told you about some of my friends.

The people in my past. Of my heart...and not.

Oh, dear.

I thought I'd...take notes.

There was a friend who was a student with me.

Um...he'll wait.

He was not the first person I went to bed with. That was Harry.

Then there was Roger, who wanted to marry me.

And Oscar, who said he couldn't live without me.

And Tom... who far too clearly could, but...

So, the student friend I had resisted going to bed with

joined the army during the war and promptly asked me to marry him

for he was certain he was going to be killed and wanted me to have the widow's pension.

SHE SIGHS Yes, I know they all said that.

Anyway...

I didn't want to marry him.

But I did go to bed with him. I...

I thought that best before he went to fight, because you never know.

Anyway, he was killed. My student friend.

And we weren't married.

So, no pension.

There. It wouldn't have been much. I know, because I had friends killed.

Their wives got very little... get very little.

Is that all? I mean...roughly.

What about the friends in your other world?

You know more about me than anyone on earth.

You ARE my world.

Thank you.

After all that, I hoped it might be time for me to get my kind word.

'You don't need to do it alone! Vale House is very good!'

No, Doctor! You're exhausted! Of course I am!

It's something that we share! We're in a state of grace. I think we understand each other!

What do you think?

I don't know.

There's always help, if you need it. There isn't any help for her!

< LAUGHTER ON TELEVISION

HE GIBBERS

What?

Sorry? ..Sorry?

Nothing!

DOOR OPENS, MILK BOTTLES CLINK AND DOOR CLOSES >

Janet's dead, Iris.

ROAR OF PASSING TRAFFIC

They want me to say a few words, but I can't think of any. No, no! Janet... Janet's dead, Iris!

I-I...miss Janet very much.

I miss Janet, because I used to store up

funny things to tell her that happened to us.

Things I can no longer tell Iris.

Another friend visited us in Oxford overnight recently,

and I found her cleaning the bath.

I said, "Oh, please! There's n-no need."

She said, "Oh, yes, there is. I want to take a bath."

I was hoping to be able to tell Janet that story.

She would have enjoyed it.

She would have laughed.

I mean, I think...

Anna Karenina - Tolstoy, you know - on her way to the station to throw herself under a train,

sees something funny, which she thinks to tell Vronsky, her lover, about. We all do it.

I do it with Iris and Janet, all our friends.

But then, Anna thought that she wouldn't be seeing Vronsky again,

because she was about to kill herself.

You... You don't want to hear this.

Janet didn't k-kill herself.

But if there's one thing that would have prevented Anna

from throwing herself under a train, that would be it -

the...the thought of t-telling something funny

to the man she loves.

The... The love is over.

Life will...s-soon be over.

That's all.

Goodbye, Janet.

No, no! Iris! Janet! Janet! Iris! BOTH GIRLS: It's all right!

It's all right, Iris! Janet! Janet! No! Help! Help!

Help me! Help me! No! Calm down! Janet! Janet!

'Janet!'

Wrong! Wrong driving! No! Stop it, Iris! Wrong driving! Stop it, Iris!

Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!

Not house! No! No!

PLANE FLIES OVERHEAD

Help! Help!

CAR HORNS BLARE

Help! Iris!

BRAKES SCREECH

Puss!

Puss! My old mouse! My old cat mouse!

Where are you?!

CAR HORN BLARES

HE GASPS, FAST TRAFFIC PASSES

IRIS LAUGHS

Oh!

JOHN LAUGHS

I...

..love...

..you.

Aw!

Little mouse!

I know you do!

JOHN SIGHS

I used to be so afraid of being alone with you.

Now I can't be without you.

HE LAUGHS

Let's get us home.

And then, there'll be tomorrow...

..and the next day...and the next.

And on we go.

Getting closer then closest together.

Oh, your ring! It's so worn now. YOUNG IRIS: 'Where did you get it?'

From a pawnbroker's.

I like things that are worn down...

..which wear, wear, wear...

..until they go.

SHE GIGGLES

We've had a bit of luck.

The usual thing, I'm afraid - somebody's died.

Iris? Don't you have a smile for Dr Gudgeon?

No?

No.

So, the time has come.

You knew it would, Professor Bayley.

Yes.

She d-didn't have a smile for you today. Yes.

Well, we must make a start.

What do I do? Nothing any more.

Vale House is a very friendly place.

I was, er... Well, I mean, this is one of the best.

More difficult to get into than...well, Eton.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Taxi for Vale House? Yes.

The l-lady's on the s-stairs. I can't get her down.

Shall I?

You all right, my love?

We're going for a little drive. That's all right, isn't it?

What's your name, then?

Iris.

Yes, it's Iris. All right, then, Iris.

You'll be all right, my love. Come on, upsy-daisy.

There you go.

'Human beings love each other.'

In sex, in friendship, and when they're in love.

And they cherish other beings -

humans, animals, plants,

even stones.

She'll be fine now, won't you, Iris?

You can visit any time you like. Come all day, if you want to.

Stay the night. That's all right.

We can make arrangements for you to do that any time.

It was so q-quiet...

..when she died.

Do you know, I thought, "I wouldn't mind doing that myself."

I had a joke to tell her.

It wasn't a very good one, but she'd have laughed.

We need to believe in something divine without the need for God.

Something we might call love.

Or goodness.

As the psalm says,

"Whither shall I go from thy spirit?

"Whither shall I flee from thy presence?

"If I ascend unto Heaven, thou art there.

"If I make my bed in Hell, behold, thou art there.

"If I take the wings of the morning

"and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

"even there shall thy hand lead me.

"And thy right hand shall hold me."

HE BREATHES IN DEEPLY

# Dear thoughts are in my mind

# And my soul soars enchanted

# And tomorrow he shall hear

# All my fond heart can say. #