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00:00:07,791 --> 00:00:10,916
♪ O come, all ye buttful... ♪
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00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,916
Merry Anal Day.
3
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,625
- And a Merry Anal Day to you, Mazola.
- Grazie.
4
00:00:15,708 --> 00:00:19,833
- And may the Lord bless your asshole.
- And the assholes of all your family.
5
00:00:19,916 --> 00:00:21,750
Ugh, this holiday is gross.
6
00:00:21,833 --> 00:00:25,958
Hey, Anal Day is when Hormone Monsters
celebrate the gifts of love, sharing,
7
00:00:26,041 --> 00:00:28,375
and loving to share butt stuff.
8
00:00:28,458 --> 00:00:31,375
Uh-oh! Caught beneath the cameltoe.
9
00:00:31,458 --> 00:00:32,976
Watch out.
10
00:00:34,708 --> 00:00:38,208
Ugh, I fucking hate jubilation.
Why did I let you drag me here?
11
00:00:38,291 --> 00:00:42,833
I thought it would be fun for you
to see the old gang, have some schmeg-nog,
12
00:00:42,916 --> 00:00:45,375
get away from all the Hitlers
for a minute.
13
00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:46,916
Emmy, Merry Anal Day.
14
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:48,625
Oh, and Rochelle.
15
00:00:48,708 --> 00:00:50,125
You're, uh, looking well.
16
00:00:50,208 --> 00:00:51,916
Whatever.
I'm just here for the schmeg-nog.
17
00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,083
Petey-Pete, I got you something.
18
00:00:54,166 --> 00:00:55,541
Oh, you really didn't have to.
19
00:00:55,625 --> 00:00:57,583
Label maker tape.
20
00:00:57,666 --> 00:01:00,666
And it's PTH107B compatible!
21
00:01:00,750 --> 00:01:02,208
- You like it?
- It's perfect.
22
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:06,333
"PT-blooh-bleeh-bleeh compatible."
I can't believe I fucked such a dork.
23
00:01:06,416 --> 00:01:08,458
I don't find that hurtful at all.
24
00:01:08,541 --> 00:01:11,541
Jesus, Rochelle. It's a party.
25
00:01:11,625 --> 00:01:14,333
Can you dial back the Hate Worm
just a little bit?
26
00:01:14,416 --> 00:01:16,625
Nope. I can't, I won't,
and I don't want to.
27
00:01:16,708 --> 00:01:17,583
- Oh my God.
- What?
28
00:01:17,666 --> 00:01:22,458
Whatever you do, Rochelle,
do not turn around, unless you wanna see...
29
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,416
Dante?
30
00:01:24,500 --> 00:01:25,750
Oh God, she turned around.
31
00:01:25,833 --> 00:01:27,416
- Dante?
- That's right, everybody.
32
00:01:27,500 --> 00:01:29,166
Your favorite scoundrel is back.
33
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,250
Son of a bitch.
34
00:01:30,333 --> 00:01:32,791
Oh, shit. Drama!
35
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,875
Dante better hold on to his two dicks
36
00:01:34,958 --> 00:01:36,958
because Rochelle's
gonna rip another one off.
37
00:01:37,041 --> 00:01:38,416
I'd like to introduce everyone
38
00:01:38,500 --> 00:01:41,416
to the gorgeous souvenir
I picked up in South America.
39
00:01:41,500 --> 00:01:46,250
Here she is, the llama of my life,
my fiancée, Daphne.
40
00:01:46,333 --> 00:01:47,250
Daphne, hi.
41
00:01:47,333 --> 00:01:49,916
Who let this asshole into the anus party?
42
00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,833
Rochelle, I-I see you're angry,
43
00:01:51,916 --> 00:01:54,583
and you have every right to be,
after what he did.
44
00:01:54,666 --> 00:01:56,625
Damn right! I... Hold up. He?
45
00:01:56,708 --> 00:01:58,416
The old Dante.
46
00:01:58,500 --> 00:02:04,125
I would love to apologize for what he did,
but I don't even know that jerk anymore.
47
00:02:04,208 --> 00:02:06,375
Yeah, Dante changed, from travel.
48
00:02:06,458 --> 00:02:07,500
- Daphne, hi.
- Ugh!
49
00:02:07,583 --> 00:02:10,041
Anyway, I'm in
a really good place right now...
50
00:02:11,208 --> 00:02:13,750
...and I'm ready for us to be friends.
51
00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:15,250
Friends?! Ah!
52
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:16,958
Oh no! The ass tree.
53
00:02:17,041 --> 00:02:19,916
Rot in absolute shit, Dante. And you...
54
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,666
- Daphne.
- Yes, Daphne.
55
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:22,583
- Hi.
- Hi.
56
00:02:22,666 --> 00:02:25,291
You are a pathetic fuck-donkey!
57
00:02:25,375 --> 00:02:26,250
Rochelle!
58
00:02:26,333 --> 00:02:30,375
I can't wait for this marriage
to blow up in your stupid mule face!
59
00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:31,291
- What?
- Jesus!
60
00:02:31,375 --> 00:02:32,875
What the fuck did she ever do to you?
61
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:35,142
- Shh, shh. Come here, baby.
- She is an innocent llama.
62
00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,406
Fuck that, Walter.
63
00:02:36,458 --> 00:02:39,291
Nobody's innocent, okay?
Everybody's a shithead.
64
00:02:39,375 --> 00:02:41,833
She's a shithead. You're a shithead.
Pete's a fucking dork.
65
00:02:41,916 --> 00:02:42,916
- Okay.
- You know what?
66
00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,708
I should've never invited you.
67
00:02:44,791 --> 00:02:46,125
No shit, shithead.
68
00:02:46,208 --> 00:02:49,958
Rochelle, enough!
Girl, you're ruining this party.
69
00:02:50,041 --> 00:02:52,500
Oh, good.
All my fucking favorites are here.
70
00:02:52,583 --> 00:02:54,791
No one else
is gonna say this to your face,
71
00:02:54,875 --> 00:02:59,125
but your little "I hate the world" routine
is gettin' real old.
72
00:02:59,208 --> 00:03:02,250
Haven't I been clear
that I don't give a shit what you think?
73
00:03:02,333 --> 00:03:03,625
I don't fucking need you.
74
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:07,333
I don't need any of you.
Now get your tacky tits out of my way.
75
00:03:07,416 --> 00:03:10,500
Uh-oh, caught beneath the cameltoe!
76
00:03:10,583 --> 00:03:12,833
That means our buttholes have to kiss.
77
00:03:12,916 --> 00:03:14,000
Oh, honey.
78
00:03:14,083 --> 00:03:14,916
Yes?
79
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:15,875
Never.
80
00:03:15,958 --> 00:03:17,558
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
81
00:03:17,583 --> 00:03:19,875
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
82
00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:23,333
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
83
00:03:23,416 --> 00:03:26,083
♪ A-ha
So good, so good, so fuckin' real ♪
84
00:03:26,166 --> 00:03:28,208
- ♪ So good, so good, so fuckin' real ♪
- ♪ A-ha ♪
85
00:03:28,291 --> 00:03:30,083
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
86
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,250
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
87
00:03:32,333 --> 00:03:37,416
♪ It's like I'm powerful
With a little bit of tender ♪
88
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:41,583
♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪
89
00:03:41,666 --> 00:03:45,958
♪ Mess me up, yeah
But no one does it better ♪
90
00:03:46,041 --> 00:03:48,041
♪ There's nothing better ♪
91
00:03:48,125 --> 00:03:50,291
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
92
00:03:51,291 --> 00:03:55,041
Then Dante says,
and I do quote this cunt...
93
00:03:55,125 --> 00:03:56,833
"I'm ready for us to be friends."
94
00:03:56,916 --> 00:03:58,416
- Nein!
- I know.
95
00:03:58,500 --> 00:04:00,833
And after all of that,
who goes and takes his side?
96
00:04:00,916 --> 00:04:01,750
- Hope.
- Boo!
97
00:04:01,833 --> 00:04:05,291
She's all, "Hate's so yucky.
Everybody love everybody."
98
00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:07,916
Hope is delusional.
99
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:11,916
"Everything is fun and nice.
Let's dance to my big chest."
100
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:15,125
Idiota. This world is not fun, not nice.
101
00:04:15,208 --> 00:04:17,791
No, it's ugly, so act accordingly, bitch.
102
00:04:17,875 --> 00:04:19,750
Yes, smart girl.
103
00:04:19,833 --> 00:04:23,666
And at the end of the day,
that's what hate is all about.
104
00:04:23,750 --> 00:04:27,166
Ugh, I'm just so glad you guys understand
how toxic Hope is.
105
00:04:27,250 --> 00:04:30,250
We should wipe her
off the face of the planet.
106
00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:34,083
Sorry. I know,
that's kind of a go-to for me.
107
00:04:34,166 --> 00:04:37,166
- Hmm, I don't mind that idea.
- Yeah, me either.
108
00:04:37,250 --> 00:04:39,291
Humans would be better off without Hope.
109
00:04:39,375 --> 00:04:42,083
- Hell, without everyone except for us.
- Yeah!
110
00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:45,875
They keep us down here in the basement,
but we should be running this place.
111
00:04:45,958 --> 00:04:47,791
Hmm, interesting.
112
00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,791
Alice time. Gotta go.
113
00:04:49,875 --> 00:04:52,041
Hate strong out there, Hillhurst.
114
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,791
I always do, General Malice.
115
00:04:54,333 --> 00:04:58,125
Hmm... Hillhurst is right.
We should be running this place.
116
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:01,333
Ja. I'm sick of having
less than total power.
117
00:05:01,416 --> 00:05:04,125
But what are we gonna do about it,
General Malice?
118
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:07,208
Oh, I tell you what we're going to do.
119
00:05:07,291 --> 00:05:12,166
We're going to crash
a little Anal Day party.
120
00:05:12,250 --> 00:05:15,291
Let's go!
121
00:05:16,291 --> 00:05:18,708
Oh, sweetheart, you're gonna love it.
122
00:05:18,791 --> 00:05:20,458
It's sweet. You... Mm-mm!
123
00:05:20,541 --> 00:05:22,416
- Sorry, pardon...
- Oh! Uh... Uh... Oh.
124
00:05:22,500 --> 00:05:24,250
- Hello.
- Um, uh, hi.
125
00:05:24,333 --> 00:05:26,541
So, what's... What's new with you, Pete?
126
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:28,625
Um, well, uh, let's see.
127
00:05:28,708 --> 00:05:31,875
I, uh, bumped into your severed dick
the other day.
128
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:34,458
Shh! Not in front of Daphne. Shh! Jesus!
129
00:05:34,541 --> 00:05:37,666
She doesn't know I used to have three.
To her, two is a lot.
130
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:42,166
Okay. Ending this conversation
could be fun, I feel, so goodbye.
131
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:45,208
No, no, no, wait. You said you saw
my favorite dick?
132
00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:50,000
It's barely a story.
He's just, like, undead now or whatever.
133
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,250
Just like a zombified penis who I battled
to become his equal or something.
134
00:05:53,333 --> 00:05:55,458
But I'm boring you.
Let's both mingle, shall we?
135
00:05:55,541 --> 00:05:58,291
Oh my God, my favorite donger is alive.
136
00:05:58,375 --> 00:05:59,583
It's...
137
00:05:59,666 --> 00:06:01,916
it's an Anal Day miracle.
138
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:05,041
Come on, honey. Loosen up in there.
139
00:06:05,125 --> 00:06:06,208
Oh, Montel!
140
00:06:06,291 --> 00:06:08,708
Aren't you gonna help Mommy
stuff goodies into my ass
141
00:06:08,791 --> 00:06:10,916
for me to crap out
at the stroke of midnight?
142
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,708
I'm sorry, I-I just...
I can't with Anal Day.
143
00:06:13,791 --> 00:06:15,708
Yes, I quite agree.
144
00:06:15,791 --> 00:06:19,250
Oh, do you? Do you "quite"?
You crumpet fuck.
145
00:06:19,333 --> 00:06:23,250
I do, my recent sexual conquests.
146
00:06:23,333 --> 00:06:24,416
- Uck!
- Get off me.
147
00:06:24,500 --> 00:06:26,166
I disavow that threesome.
148
00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,333
Even if I do find you fucking scrumptious.
149
00:06:28,416 --> 00:06:29,791
- What?
- Scrumptious, you say?
150
00:06:29,875 --> 00:06:33,041
What? No, nothing. Is the ass tree
on fire again? I'm gonna go check.
151
00:06:33,125 --> 00:06:36,375
So, uh, do you want your own cookie
or are we, uh, sharin'?
152
00:06:36,458 --> 00:06:38,750
Sharin'? Sharon! God. Holy shit!
153
00:06:38,833 --> 00:06:42,500
I forgot to buy Sharon an Anal Day gift.
I'm such a nancy.
154
00:06:42,583 --> 00:06:44,583
Nancy... Nancy!
155
00:06:44,666 --> 00:06:47,958
- Damn it! I forgot to buy one for Nancy.
- We're idiots, Joe.
156
00:06:48,041 --> 00:06:50,916
And we can't go to a store
this late on Anal Eve.
157
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,625
The crowds we'd endure.
158
00:06:52,708 --> 00:06:56,333
You're right. Nancy's a fine wife,
but not an "endure something" wife.
159
00:06:56,416 --> 00:07:00,416
All right, I need a gift. I need a thing.
Where are things? The supply closet!
160
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:04,416
Great idea. I'll get her a stapler.
Maybe a box of binder clips.
161
00:07:04,500 --> 00:07:06,500
If she wants a better gift, she can work.
162
00:07:07,958 --> 00:07:09,583
Hey. Where the hell are you going?
163
00:07:09,666 --> 00:07:12,625
- To talk to Sal's class.
- You're going to Sal's class?
164
00:07:12,708 --> 00:07:13,541
Uh-uh!
165
00:07:13,625 --> 00:07:16,416
- Alice, we said...
- Fuck everybody, I know.
166
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:18,708
But Sal's teacher said he's being bullied.
167
00:07:18,791 --> 00:07:21,750
Who cares?
Fuck everybody means fuck everybody.
168
00:07:21,833 --> 00:07:24,291
But this is Sal, the cute motherfucker.
169
00:07:24,375 --> 00:07:25,958
Sure, he's cute.
170
00:07:26,041 --> 00:07:27,881
But you've been helping people
your whole life,
171
00:07:27,958 --> 00:07:29,166
and nothing has changed.
172
00:07:29,250 --> 00:07:32,250
Because the world is garbage,
and it doesn't give a shit about anybody.
173
00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:35,000
Yeah, I guess
I do kind of agree with that.
174
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:39,041
I know you do. So, fuck everyone,
including Sal. Right?
175
00:07:39,125 --> 00:07:42,083
- Right.
- Alice, I'm gonna need to hear you say it.
176
00:07:42,166 --> 00:07:44,541
- But, uh, he's four.
- Alice...
177
00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:46,958
Okay, okay, fine.
178
00:07:47,541 --> 00:07:49,833
- Fuck Sal.
- That's my girl.
179
00:07:49,916 --> 00:07:52,416
♪ We three twinks... ♪
180
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:56,416
Smile. And don't forget
to breathe through your balls.
181
00:07:58,458 --> 00:07:59,708
Afternoon, General Malice.
182
00:07:59,791 --> 00:08:04,250
Ciao, Peg. My friend and I are going up
to the Poopy Day festivities.
183
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:07,708
I'm sorry, sir, it says here you're... Oh!
184
00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:10,041
- Dead? Oh, no, no, no.
- Ahh!
185
00:08:10,125 --> 00:08:13,791
Turns out Anthony Piñata
doesn't need a head to live
186
00:08:13,875 --> 00:08:15,666
or to pop.
187
00:08:16,791 --> 00:08:19,125
So we'll just head in. Get it?
188
00:08:19,208 --> 00:08:21,541
Did I stump you?
189
00:08:22,666 --> 00:08:24,208
I'm having fun.
190
00:08:24,291 --> 00:08:26,750
Are you having fun, Anthony?
191
00:08:26,833 --> 00:08:27,708
It's go time.
192
00:08:27,791 --> 00:08:30,500
On your knees. Hate is in charge now.
193
00:08:32,375 --> 00:08:35,125
- Hands where we can see 'em.
- No funny business.
194
00:08:35,208 --> 00:08:38,000
We're doing a Die Hard.
You guys know the deal. Scream.
195
00:08:38,083 --> 00:08:38,916
Ah!
196
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:41,083
Up to the bullpen. Go!
197
00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:43,958
No, not the sack!
198
00:08:49,708 --> 00:08:54,125
Ugh, uh, my phone is in my breast pocket,
you brute. I have no weapons.
199
00:08:54,208 --> 00:08:57,500
That's just label maker tape.
My label maker needs it.
200
00:08:57,583 --> 00:09:00,041
How dare you, on this sacred day?
201
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:03,500
This? This is an affront
to all Judeo-Rectal faiths.
202
00:09:03,583 --> 00:09:08,083
Silence! I will kill you all if I hear
one more complaining or belly-ouching.
203
00:09:08,166 --> 00:09:11,166
- What do you Haters even want from us?
- Hate! Hate! Hate!
204
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:14,291
New Jersey's about to become Hater Nation.
205
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:17,250
Of course. They wanna keep us
away from humans.
206
00:09:17,333 --> 00:09:20,083
That's right. No love, no logic.
207
00:09:20,166 --> 00:09:22,208
Just pure hate on Earth.
208
00:09:24,541 --> 00:09:27,375
The bad guys, Joe.
They have no idea we're in here.
209
00:09:27,458 --> 00:09:30,583
I guess they just forgot
to check the supply closet.
210
00:09:30,666 --> 00:09:34,458
You know what this means, don't you, Joe?
We're the Bruce Willises.
211
00:09:34,541 --> 00:09:36,250
The-the-the Bruce Willi.
212
00:09:36,333 --> 00:09:39,583
Of course. The writers
let us escape the takeover...
213
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,958
So that we could save the day.
214
00:09:42,041 --> 00:09:44,583
Action heroes! Wow!
215
00:09:44,666 --> 00:09:48,125
Okay. We just, uh, hop up
into the air vent, yeah?
216
00:09:48,208 --> 00:09:50,291
Yeah, that's what we do, and crawl around.
217
00:09:50,375 --> 00:09:51,750
Now, hoist my caboose,
218
00:09:51,833 --> 00:09:54,291
and don't be afraid
to get your thumb involved.
219
00:09:54,375 --> 00:09:56,666
'Tis the season.
Okay, come on here.
220
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:58,708
You struck brown.
221
00:09:59,708 --> 00:10:01,083
Rochelle!
222
00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:02,333
- Holy shit.
- Welcome back.
223
00:10:02,416 --> 00:10:05,500
- Is that Peg?
- Ja, well, that's the bottom part of Peg.
224
00:10:05,583 --> 00:10:07,458
We did it, Fräulein.
225
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:08,833
Did what?
226
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:11,916
Oh God. What the fuck?
227
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,541
Can you believe it, Hillhurst?
We run this place now.
228
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,833
Thank God. Rochelle, help us!
229
00:10:17,916 --> 00:10:20,000
Why would she help you?
230
00:10:20,083 --> 00:10:23,125
This was all
her delicious, despicable idea.
231
00:10:23,208 --> 00:10:24,791
- What? No!
- Rochelle!
232
00:10:24,875 --> 00:10:27,541
Usually, I am all for office drama,
233
00:10:27,625 --> 00:10:30,291
but, girl, this is terrorism.
234
00:10:30,375 --> 00:10:32,583
- You actually did it.
- We did it.
235
00:10:32,666 --> 00:10:35,583
Humans are finally getting
the hate they deserve.
236
00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:36,750
What the fuck...
237
00:10:36,833 --> 00:10:40,750
Glorious, isn't it?
They're fighting over the dumbest shit.
238
00:10:40,833 --> 00:10:43,541
Look how many stupid cantaloupe there are,
239
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:46,375
and they still knife each other.
240
00:10:46,458 --> 00:10:48,208
Oh, shit. Sal.
241
00:10:48,291 --> 00:10:51,666
- Fuck Sal. It is exactly what you wanted.
- I guess it is.
242
00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:55,541
And HR Tri-State is only Phase One.
243
00:10:55,625 --> 00:10:58,250
Let me guess, Phase Two is the world?
244
00:10:58,333 --> 00:11:02,458
Yes. You see, you know me.
You know I don't like a lot of phases.
245
00:11:02,541 --> 00:11:06,416
Oh, I almost forgot.
I got you a present for tushy Christmas.
246
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,750
Let's move, toots.
247
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,291
- Get your hands off of me!
- Hope?
248
00:11:10,375 --> 00:11:14,500
Once we get rid of Hope,
hate will be unstoppable.
249
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:17,208
I thought you should do the gun violence.
250
00:11:17,291 --> 00:11:20,833
- Me?
- Of course. You hate her most of all.
251
00:11:20,916 --> 00:11:24,916
- That's true.
- Arrivederci her ass for good.
252
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,916
Yeah, she deserves it.
253
00:11:27,625 --> 00:11:29,166
Honey, you don't wanna do this.
254
00:11:29,250 --> 00:11:31,458
Shut up, Hope. Of course she does.
255
00:11:31,541 --> 00:11:32,750
Hillhurst, now.
256
00:11:34,541 --> 00:11:36,166
Rochelle, no!
257
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:37,875
What is she gonna do?
258
00:11:37,958 --> 00:11:40,833
Rochelle, this is not who you are.
259
00:11:40,916 --> 00:11:42,375
Shut up.
260
00:11:43,250 --> 00:11:46,291
- What are you doing? You fucking snake!
- Run!
261
00:11:47,833 --> 00:11:50,166
- Get them!
- Not so fast!
262
00:11:50,250 --> 00:11:52,541
Just shoot everywhere!
263
00:11:53,250 --> 00:11:54,958
Oh, shit. My shoulder!
264
00:11:58,958 --> 00:12:01,708
I just did a slow-motion shoot and dive.
265
00:12:01,791 --> 00:12:04,000
Oh, man. Am I the Bruce Willis?
266
00:12:04,083 --> 00:12:07,083
Find the snake. Find them both.
267
00:12:07,166 --> 00:12:09,083
Holy shit, she saved Hope.
268
00:12:09,166 --> 00:12:11,583
I knew the old Rochelle
was still in there.
269
00:12:11,666 --> 00:12:13,208
Hey, Pete, isn't that...
270
00:12:14,291 --> 00:12:15,833
- My friend!
- My dick!
271
00:12:16,833 --> 00:12:19,208
- Sorry, that's, um, your...
- Not now, Daph.
272
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:21,666
Hey, buddy. You wanna come
and untie your daddy?
273
00:12:22,666 --> 00:12:25,041
Hey, wh-wh-wh-where you going, guy?
274
00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:26,500
No, no, come here. Come to Papa.
275
00:12:26,583 --> 00:12:29,083
It's okay. Go to who you love most.
276
00:12:29,166 --> 00:12:30,916
Yes, the one you love the most.
277
00:12:33,041 --> 00:12:35,583
- What?
- Me? Really?
278
00:12:35,666 --> 00:12:37,916
Oh, this is sweet.
279
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,833
Oh, this is bullshit.
280
00:12:39,916 --> 00:12:44,041
Um, excuse me, guards?
This, uh, this is bullshit. Um...
281
00:12:44,125 --> 00:12:46,476
- Look. The Rock's trying to escape.
- What the fuck, Dante?
282
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:49,583
- Shut your traitorous Linda Tripp trap.
- You there!
283
00:12:49,666 --> 00:12:50,833
- Don't hurt him!
- Freeze!
284
00:12:52,791 --> 00:12:54,583
Maybe I'm the Bruce Willis!
285
00:12:54,666 --> 00:12:56,750
Oh, a tattletale, I see.
286
00:12:56,833 --> 00:13:00,291
So, what? Are you on my side, Mr. Snitch?
287
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:02,875
On your... your... your side. Yes.
288
00:13:02,958 --> 00:13:06,083
Yes, I think you and I
could do great things together, General.
289
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:10,583
Just set me free, hand me a gun,
and... I'm yours, baby.
290
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:14,250
Wow, you do seem
like a hateful piece of shit.
291
00:13:14,333 --> 00:13:16,250
Just not the kind I like.
292
00:13:16,333 --> 00:13:18,666
Anthony, I don't like this one.
293
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,375
Look, that puffy thing's hugging Dante.
294
00:13:23,458 --> 00:13:26,958
Or giving him a chiropractic adjustment?
295
00:13:27,041 --> 00:13:30,416
Hey, that's too hard.
That's a bad chiropractor.
296
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,916
Oh God!
297
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,833
They've killed off fucking Hugh Jackman!
298
00:13:36,916 --> 00:13:39,083
If he can die, any of us could.
299
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:41,708
Now, look, I know
you guys don't like Lionel,
300
00:13:41,791 --> 00:13:44,125
and there's some weird sexual baggage...
301
00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:46,166
- There's no baggage.
- So much baggage.
302
00:13:46,250 --> 00:13:49,375
Regardless, we've gotta work together
if we're gonna get out of here.
303
00:13:49,458 --> 00:13:52,041
- Agreed.
- Aww! That's the Anal Day spirit!
304
00:13:52,125 --> 00:13:55,666
Wait, guys, I have so much stuff
stuck up my ass right now.
305
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:58,750
There's gotta be something
we can use as a weapon.
306
00:13:58,833 --> 00:14:00,791
Oh, good. Connie, you're already up there.
307
00:14:00,875 --> 00:14:03,875
- Uh, that's not Connie.
- Oh!
308
00:14:03,958 --> 00:14:06,250
I hate how much I love it.
309
00:14:08,125 --> 00:14:11,625
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I'm so stupid.
Why did I shoot at them?
310
00:14:11,708 --> 00:14:15,416
- Because you're a good bug.
- I'm not good and I'm not a bug.
311
00:14:16,208 --> 00:14:18,684
- Hey, they're on this floor.
- Get those doors open.
312
00:14:18,708 --> 00:14:21,958
- Oh, shit.
- The-the-the hatch! It's the only way.
313
00:14:22,041 --> 00:14:24,750
Fuck, I really am the Bruce Willis.
314
00:14:24,833 --> 00:14:28,541
Ugh, all this duct crawling
is so tough on the knees.
315
00:14:28,625 --> 00:14:30,166
I hope we get an action sequence.
316
00:14:33,125 --> 00:14:36,291
Holy shit. We killed a henchman!
317
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,250
Absolute Bruces.
318
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:40,500
And he has a walkie and a gun.
319
00:14:40,583 --> 00:14:43,708
Oh, yeah. You know what to do, baby.
320
00:14:46,541 --> 00:14:50,625
"I have a machine gun now. Ho ho ho."
321
00:14:50,708 --> 00:14:52,250
Who the fuck sent this?
322
00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:54,208
And why is the gun still on his lap?
323
00:14:54,291 --> 00:14:56,708
- Wait, where's the gun?
- I thought you had it.
324
00:14:56,791 --> 00:14:58,958
- I was busy writing on the shirt!
- Shoot.
325
00:14:59,041 --> 00:15:00,250
Well, honest mistake.
326
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:03,083
We're still Bruce,
and Bruce is undeterred.
327
00:15:03,166 --> 00:15:04,000
That's right!
328
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:07,291
And, if I remember the movie correctly,
impervious to glass.
329
00:15:07,875 --> 00:15:10,041
- Oh, shit! I'm pervious!
- You need my help?
330
00:15:10,125 --> 00:15:11,958
- Okay. All right.
- I'm very pervious.
331
00:15:12,041 --> 00:15:15,416
There should be hedge clippers
next to the big bag of M&M's.
332
00:15:15,500 --> 00:15:17,333
I-I can't reach 'em. I'm tryin'.
333
00:15:17,416 --> 00:15:20,708
A little to the left...
334
00:15:20,791 --> 00:15:23,166
- Cool, so you got the hockey stick?
- I did.
335
00:15:23,250 --> 00:15:28,583
Now, observe as I use
my feminine Noah Wyles to lure a guard.
336
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:30,416
Oh, guard.
337
00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:32,041
I have to pee-pee.
338
00:15:32,125 --> 00:15:35,458
Fine, but no period stuff in there
or I'll puke.
339
00:15:35,541 --> 00:15:38,250
- Die, shitworm, die!
- Give me that!
340
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:39,583
- Ow! Shit.
- No!
341
00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:43,208
Ooh, Connie is not the Bruce Willis.
342
00:15:43,291 --> 00:15:45,226
- They're gonna get us.
- We are going to get them.
343
00:15:45,250 --> 00:15:47,208
- We're so fucked.
- They're completely fucked.
344
00:15:47,291 --> 00:15:48,625
No, we're not.
345
00:15:48,708 --> 00:15:51,750
We're gonna get out of here
and we're gonna beat those Haters.
346
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:53,833
Will you stop with the hopeful bullshit?
347
00:15:55,291 --> 00:15:57,208
Come on.
348
00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:01,583
- Oh, shit! They're coming.
- Look! We can jump across.
349
00:16:01,666 --> 00:16:03,041
What? No, we can't.
350
00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:06,166
You're shot and bleeding,
and I have zero legs.
351
00:16:06,250 --> 00:16:08,958
I'm telling you, we can do it, Rochelle.
352
00:16:09,041 --> 00:16:10,750
How the fuck can you be so sure?
353
00:16:10,833 --> 00:16:14,958
I'm not, but I know that if we don't try,
we're gonna die anyway.
354
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:18,291
Here you go. Some bombs for you guys.
355
00:16:18,375 --> 00:16:19,625
Fuck. Okay.
356
00:16:19,708 --> 00:16:21,083
- We got this.
- Maybe.
357
00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:22,250
Come on!
358
00:16:23,708 --> 00:16:26,750
Hope! Hold on.
359
00:16:26,833 --> 00:16:28,291
- Honey, I can't.
- You have to.
360
00:16:28,375 --> 00:16:29,791
I'm slipping.
361
00:16:29,875 --> 00:16:31,625
- Hope!
- Rochelle!
362
00:16:31,708 --> 00:16:33,666
No!
363
00:16:35,333 --> 00:16:37,666
- Hold still, bud.
- No, it's gonna hurt.
364
00:16:37,750 --> 00:16:39,666
No, no, no,
it's just a tiny piece of glass.
365
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:43,083
- I don't like it. I don't like you!
- I prom... It's gonna go...
366
00:16:43,166 --> 00:16:45,125
Hey! No biting!
367
00:16:46,208 --> 00:16:47,958
- I got it.
- You were right. Didn't hurt.
368
00:16:48,833 --> 00:16:50,083
Hope's gone.
369
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,541
She's really... really gone.
370
00:16:54,625 --> 00:16:56,625
Anthony Piñata.
371
00:17:02,375 --> 00:17:04,791
Whoa! Whoa!
372
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:12,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today
373
00:17:16,958 --> 00:17:19,875
Well, well, well. Trying to escape, huh?
374
00:17:19,958 --> 00:17:21,416
This displeases me,
375
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:23,041
but also excites me
376
00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:25,416
because now we get to do punishment.
377
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:26,416
You, step forward.
378
00:17:26,500 --> 00:17:27,791
- Oh God!
- No!
379
00:17:27,875 --> 00:17:29,833
They're just a child.
380
00:17:29,916 --> 00:17:30,934
- Oh.
- Oh, thank goodness.
381
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:33,583
- Oh. Wait, what?
- Nothing to be scared of.
382
00:17:33,666 --> 00:17:36,625
You just have to kill one of your amici.
383
00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:39,166
Or else, you'll all die.
384
00:17:39,250 --> 00:17:40,458
Uh, what?
385
00:17:40,541 --> 00:17:42,791
- Uh, no, please.
- Have fun!
386
00:17:42,875 --> 00:17:45,500
I'm gonna grab some popcorn
and watch.
387
00:17:45,583 --> 00:17:47,916
Oh God, this is so fucked up.
388
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,291
It is, but also...
389
00:17:50,375 --> 00:17:51,916
- I feel safe.
- No, of course.
390
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,833
I'm not gonna shoot you.
391
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:55,583
Oh, great. Parents are safe.
392
00:17:55,666 --> 00:17:57,541
- Well...
- What do you mean, "well"?
393
00:17:57,625 --> 00:17:59,750
I can't just kill my idol, Dad.
394
00:17:59,833 --> 00:18:00,833
- What?
- Oh, goody.
395
00:18:00,916 --> 00:18:05,666
Honey, please. You can't shoot the daddy
who birthed you from his bung-hole.
396
00:18:05,750 --> 00:18:08,083
I don't know what to do!
397
00:18:08,166 --> 00:18:12,958
Monty, you listen to your father
and murder your mentor right this minute.
398
00:18:13,041 --> 00:18:16,041
Fine, but Lionel deserves
a chance to speak.
399
00:18:16,125 --> 00:18:18,541
Lionel, is there anything
you'd like to say
400
00:18:18,625 --> 00:18:22,166
about why you should, um, you know, exist?
401
00:18:22,250 --> 00:18:24,791
Uh, me? Oh, uh, why... Why should I exist?
402
00:18:24,875 --> 00:18:29,666
Well, well, if I perished,
my mummy would be so distraught.
403
00:18:29,750 --> 00:18:31,083
Oh, honey, no she wouldn't.
404
00:18:31,166 --> 00:18:34,458
Yeah, no, I know.
I guess I'm going to die then?
405
00:18:34,541 --> 00:18:36,958
Allora, what else is on?
406
00:18:37,041 --> 00:18:39,958
Fuck you, you headless maniac.
407
00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:42,208
- Oh my God. Is that...
- Rochelle?
408
00:18:42,291 --> 00:18:45,875
I give up. There's no Hope.
There's no point.
409
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:49,333
Just pop me already, Anthony Piñata.
410
00:18:50,750 --> 00:18:51,875
Whoa!
411
00:18:51,958 --> 00:18:53,875
- Oh God, no!
- Oh!
412
00:18:53,958 --> 00:18:55,458
She's getting popped!
413
00:18:55,541 --> 00:18:59,541
Awww, they are so sad. How tasty.
414
00:18:59,625 --> 00:19:02,125
Please, tell Anthony Piñata to stop.
415
00:19:02,208 --> 00:19:05,958
Why, because you love her? That's silly.
416
00:19:06,041 --> 00:19:08,208
- She hates all of you.
- She doesn't hate us.
417
00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:11,875
Yeah, she's just been really mean
to us lately, especially Pete.
418
00:19:11,958 --> 00:19:15,250
But that's only because they boned
and it's complicated.
419
00:19:15,333 --> 00:19:16,708
Boned is sex.
420
00:19:16,791 --> 00:19:19,875
- Oh, did they?
- She doesn't need all this backstory.
421
00:19:19,958 --> 00:19:23,541
I know Rochelle loves us.
She's just in pain.
422
00:19:23,625 --> 00:19:26,541
Oh, yes, she's about to be.
423
00:19:26,625 --> 00:19:27,745
Come on, Anthony.
424
00:19:27,791 --> 00:19:29,208
Just do it already.
425
00:19:29,291 --> 00:19:31,500
Don't you fucking dare give up!
426
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:33,625
Hope!
427
00:19:33,708 --> 00:19:35,208
- Yes!
- Wait, what's going on?
428
00:19:35,291 --> 00:19:37,416
- I think Rochelle's okay.
- No!
429
00:19:37,500 --> 00:19:38,708
But you fell.
430
00:19:38,791 --> 00:19:41,125
Yeah, but I had a little help.
431
00:19:41,208 --> 00:19:42,875
From me, the Zombie Dick!
432
00:19:42,958 --> 00:19:45,333
Rochelle!
433
00:19:46,625 --> 00:19:48,916
Hey, gorgeous! Over here!
434
00:19:50,250 --> 00:19:51,875
Get hard, baby!
435
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,583
Get harder than you've ever been before!
436
00:19:57,375 --> 00:20:00,458
- That was harder than I've ever been!
- Oh, honey, I'm flattered.
437
00:20:00,541 --> 00:20:01,666
Oh, shit.
438
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:03,333
Look!
439
00:20:03,416 --> 00:20:05,458
I'll handle this, Sweet Tits!
440
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,500
This has been a weird Anal Day.
441
00:20:20,833 --> 00:20:22,916
- Rochelle?
- I thought you were dead.
442
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,666
- What?
- I was ready to give up
443
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,416
- and let him pop me.
- Honey, it's okay.
444
00:20:27,500 --> 00:20:30,916
No, it's not okay. Nothing is okay.
445
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:34,416
I made sweet Alice choose hate.
I let down Sal.
446
00:20:34,500 --> 00:20:37,041
People are stabbing each other
over cantaloupes.
447
00:20:37,125 --> 00:20:40,208
And now, all my friends are gonna die.
448
00:20:40,291 --> 00:20:42,125
And it's all my fault.
449
00:20:42,208 --> 00:20:46,250
But it's not over yet, Rochelle.
You can still make things better.
450
00:20:46,333 --> 00:20:49,250
Just stop! You always say that.
But how can I trust you?
451
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:51,000
Well, what's the alternative, baby?
452
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:53,375
Despair? Hate?
How's that working out for you?
453
00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:55,750
Terrible.
454
00:20:55,833 --> 00:20:57,708
I hate being hateful.
455
00:20:57,791 --> 00:21:02,458
You don't have to be.
I know you, and I know you can fix this.
456
00:21:02,541 --> 00:21:06,083
- You really believe that, don't you?
- Always have, always will.
457
00:21:06,166 --> 00:21:08,791
- I love you, Ro-Ro.
- I love you too.
458
00:21:08,875 --> 00:21:12,833
I tried real hard not to,
but I can't help it. I do.
459
00:21:12,916 --> 00:21:14,125
- Oh!
- Ooh!
460
00:21:14,208 --> 00:21:16,958
Here she comes! I see arms.
461
00:21:17,500 --> 00:21:20,375
- And some wings too.
- I'm back, baby!
462
00:21:20,458 --> 00:21:23,666
Sorry to interrupt
this touching moment, ladies,
463
00:21:23,750 --> 00:21:28,416
but seeing that you're still alive,
I need you to come turn yourself in,
464
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,333
or else the bitch gets it.
465
00:21:30,416 --> 00:21:32,666
- The bitch?
- Uh, hi, Rochelle.
466
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,541
It would seem that I'm the bitch.
467
00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:38,583
Oh, you love your little sex friend, huh?
468
00:21:38,666 --> 00:21:40,875
Prove it! On the rooftop. Ten minutes.
469
00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:42,458
- Oh God.
- Uh-uh!
470
00:21:42,541 --> 00:21:45,750
We're not giving up yet, honey.
You still got Hope...
471
00:21:45,833 --> 00:21:47,458
and tape.
472
00:21:47,541 --> 00:21:50,208
PTH1-bleep-bloop compatible.
473
00:21:50,291 --> 00:21:52,666
Let's go, kid. Time to kill the wizard.
474
00:21:52,750 --> 00:21:55,416
O-Okay. Okay. Ready, Lionel?
475
00:21:55,500 --> 00:21:59,166
It's been a great shame knowing you,
young Montel.
476
00:21:59,250 --> 00:22:00,500
- Aww.
- Bye, Lionel.
477
00:22:00,583 --> 00:22:02,583
- See you.
- Uh, safe travels?
478
00:22:06,166 --> 00:22:07,000
- Ew!
- Mm.
479
00:22:07,083 --> 00:22:08,833
- Why?
- Sick fuck.
480
00:22:08,916 --> 00:22:11,458
Ugh, Jesus Christ, what are you doing?
481
00:22:11,541 --> 00:22:14,458
I don't know. What?
I've never been a martyr before.
482
00:22:14,541 --> 00:22:16,416
Just... Ugh, just stand over there.
483
00:22:16,500 --> 00:22:17,541
All right, all right.
484
00:22:18,750 --> 00:22:20,434
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
485
00:22:20,458 --> 00:22:23,041
I'd really like to be done with this.
486
00:22:23,125 --> 00:22:26,458
I know. I just need to say something
before he fucking croaks.
487
00:22:26,541 --> 00:22:29,541
- Okay, Lionel, the threesome happened.
- Maury!
488
00:22:29,625 --> 00:22:33,416
- And it was the best sex of my life.
- Okay, yeah. I liked it too.
489
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:36,000
Oh-ho-ho, you guys!
490
00:22:36,083 --> 00:22:38,208
And even the gun thing
was pretty hot to me.
491
00:22:38,291 --> 00:22:40,666
So that's it. Go die now or whatever.
492
00:22:40,750 --> 00:22:43,000
All right, I'm ready for my murder.
493
00:22:43,083 --> 00:22:44,291
Not so fast!
494
00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:48,416
Bruce!
495
00:22:48,500 --> 00:22:51,166
- Drop the weapon.
- Yeah, sure, whatever. I'm just a temp.
496
00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:52,500
Freeze right there!
497
00:22:56,375 --> 00:23:01,166
Looks like y'all are outgunned,
so you might wanna outrun.
498
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,791
Bruce! Bruce! Bruce!
499
00:23:03,875 --> 00:23:05,750
I'm alive!
500
00:23:05,833 --> 00:23:08,750
And you want to kiss me.
501
00:23:08,833 --> 00:23:13,000
You were only supposed to know that
if you were dead.
502
00:23:13,083 --> 00:23:15,833
- Well, we got all the bad guys.
- Yeah, we did.
503
00:23:15,916 --> 00:23:19,916
We definitely saved the day.
The episode ends here.
504
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:25,750
You wanna suck on the pistola
while we wait?
505
00:23:25,833 --> 00:23:27,291
Ew! No.
506
00:23:27,375 --> 00:23:29,416
What psycho would do that with a gun?
507
00:23:29,500 --> 00:23:31,041
General Malice, behind you!
508
00:23:36,708 --> 00:23:39,333
I've missed these wings.
They really are very handy.
509
00:23:39,416 --> 00:23:42,250
Ah, you could have been
a great worm, Hillhurst,
510
00:23:42,333 --> 00:23:44,916
but now, just a dead bug.
511
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:46,916
Bring it on, you hateful motherfucker.
512
00:23:48,791 --> 00:23:50,375
Oh, damn. Well brought.
513
00:23:50,458 --> 00:23:51,791
Drop the weapon.
514
00:23:52,291 --> 00:23:53,500
Rochelle, don't.
515
00:23:53,583 --> 00:23:55,750
You got me, Malice. Now let Pete go.
516
00:23:55,833 --> 00:23:56,916
Uh-uh-uh!
517
00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:58,875
Where is your busty friend?
518
00:23:58,958 --> 00:24:01,458
Right here. Just don't hurt him.
519
00:24:01,541 --> 00:24:04,458
Oh, oh, oh. "Don't hurt him."
Bo-bo-bo.
520
00:24:04,541 --> 00:24:06,541
Weepy, weepy, weepy. Finish them!
521
00:24:07,166 --> 00:24:08,583
No!
522
00:24:08,666 --> 00:24:10,791
- Oh, shit.
- We're too late!
523
00:24:10,875 --> 00:24:13,166
Wait. Where is your titty?
524
00:24:13,250 --> 00:24:16,291
Oh, you mean this?
525
00:24:17,250 --> 00:24:18,333
Titty bomb!
526
00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:23,875
Pete!
527
00:24:26,916 --> 00:24:29,059
- Jesus, he's heavy.
- I can't hold on.
528
00:24:29,083 --> 00:24:30,875
The pants! Lose the pants.
529
00:24:30,958 --> 00:24:32,500
Ah, no! Not the pants.
530
00:24:33,625 --> 00:24:36,375
So, as I do this, I should clarify,
531
00:24:36,458 --> 00:24:39,125
I do love you, Pete,
but just platonically.
532
00:24:39,208 --> 00:24:41,166
Yeah, great.
Just take off my fucking pants!
533
00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,416
- Hell yeah!
- We did it!
534
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:52,625
Bye, Malice.
535
00:24:52,708 --> 00:24:55,208
I love you guys. I'm so sorry.
536
00:24:55,291 --> 00:24:58,416
- We love you too.
- We're just glad you're back.
537
00:24:58,500 --> 00:25:00,333
You look much better as a bug.
538
00:25:00,416 --> 00:25:03,041
- I'm glad you're back too.
- Thanks, Petey-Pete.
539
00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:05,291
Platonic? Girl, you fucking up.
540
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,833
Hey, Alice, what you doing?
541
00:25:08,916 --> 00:25:11,083
Nothing. Nothing's worth doing.
542
00:25:11,166 --> 00:25:14,083
Yeah, I know I told you that,
but I was wrong.
543
00:25:14,166 --> 00:25:16,416
Whoa, Rochelle, you're...
544
00:25:16,500 --> 00:25:18,333
A big, beautiful bug again.
545
00:25:18,416 --> 00:25:22,041
And I'm sorry I made you so hateful.
That's not who you are.
546
00:25:22,125 --> 00:25:24,708
You are a bad bitch who helps people.
547
00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:28,041
No, you were right. The world is shit.
548
00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:29,541
Everything is hopeless.
549
00:25:29,625 --> 00:25:31,958
Yeah, about that.
550
00:25:32,041 --> 00:25:34,750
I know how scary it is
when Hope disappears.
551
00:25:34,833 --> 00:25:36,083
It's fucking awful.
552
00:25:36,166 --> 00:25:37,750
But hate can't protect you.
553
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:41,208
It just makes you angrier and angrier
until you finally just wanna...
554
00:25:41,291 --> 00:25:44,000
- Give up.
- Yeah, but don't you fucking dare, okay?
555
00:25:44,083 --> 00:25:47,291
Because Alice Wong
has too damn much to do,
556
00:25:47,375 --> 00:25:48,958
and too much love to give.
557
00:25:49,041 --> 00:25:50,583
You're right.
558
00:25:50,666 --> 00:25:53,500
- I am a bad bitch.
- Hell yeah!
559
00:25:53,583 --> 00:25:56,041
I'm gonna take care of myself
and my community.
560
00:25:56,125 --> 00:25:57,708
Now, that's my girl.
561
00:25:57,791 --> 00:26:00,416
This shitty world
is lucky to have you, Alice,
562
00:26:00,500 --> 00:26:02,416
and I'm damn proud to be your Lovebug.
563
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:07,750
♪ Well, there's an ounce of good
In every crazy human condition ♪
564
00:26:08,875 --> 00:26:12,250
♪ Even grief will have your back
When push comes to shove ♪
565
00:26:13,750 --> 00:26:18,041
♪ And though I know them all quite well
I must make a confession ♪
566
00:26:18,708 --> 00:26:22,833
♪ If I had to pick just one
Baby, I'd choose love ♪
567
00:26:23,750 --> 00:26:27,416
♪ Well, it makes no sense
When analyzed on paper ♪
568
00:26:28,625 --> 00:26:32,583
♪ And it's a wild and dangerous
Clusterfuck of stress ♪
569
00:26:33,875 --> 00:26:38,708
♪ It gives you stupid rosy glasses
When you could be kickin' asses ♪
570
00:26:38,791 --> 00:26:42,750
♪ But without love
Life's one big pointless mess ♪
571
00:26:43,541 --> 00:26:45,541
♪ I choose love, yes, love ♪
572
00:26:45,625 --> 00:26:48,541
♪ It puts the passion in your boning ♪
573
00:26:48,625 --> 00:26:50,666
♪ Give me love, sweet love ♪
574
00:26:50,750 --> 00:26:53,458
♪ And it will supercharge your chub ♪
575
00:26:53,541 --> 00:26:58,666
♪ I've known joy and laughter
I've known rage and pain ♪
576
00:26:58,750 --> 00:27:02,958
♪ I've made up my mind
Baby, I choose love ♪
577
00:27:03,041 --> 00:27:05,708
♪ Ooh, give me that love ♪
578
00:27:05,791 --> 00:27:09,416
♪ Well, it's more yummy
Than a shitfaced 2:00 a.m. burrito ♪
579
00:27:09,500 --> 00:27:10,708
♪ So much better ♪
580
00:27:10,791 --> 00:27:14,375
♪ Oh, it's more powerful
Than a sexy slap in the face ♪
581
00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:16,208
♪ So sweet and strong ♪
582
00:27:16,291 --> 00:27:21,041
♪ It's not half as fun as shame
But kind of awesome, all the same ♪
583
00:27:21,125 --> 00:27:25,125
♪ And I'd sell my soul
For just one tiny taste ♪
584
00:27:26,541 --> 00:27:28,083
♪ I choose love, sweet love ♪
585
00:27:28,166 --> 00:27:30,958
♪ Yes, it's the magic
It's the power ♪
586
00:27:31,041 --> 00:27:34,291
♪ No more anger, no more hate
I've had enough ♪
587
00:27:34,375 --> 00:27:36,041
♪ We've all had enough ♪
588
00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:38,541
♪ No excuse and no disclaimer ♪
589
00:27:38,625 --> 00:27:41,125
♪ It's a fucking no-brainer ♪
590
00:27:41,208 --> 00:27:45,166
♪ I've made up my mind
Baby, I choose love ♪
591
00:27:46,375 --> 00:27:48,166
♪ I've made my choice ♪
592
00:27:48,250 --> 00:27:50,958
- ♪ Baby, I choose love ♪
- ♪ Sweet love ♪
593
00:27:51,041 --> 00:27:53,083
- ♪ Oh, baby, choose love ♪
- ♪ Sweet love ♪
594
00:27:53,166 --> 00:27:55,500
- ♪ All you need is love ♪
- ♪ Sweet love ♪
595
00:27:55,583 --> 00:28:02,583
♪ Oh, baby, choose love ♪
596
00:28:03,305 --> 00:29:03,443
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00:29:03,493 --> 00:29:08,043
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