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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,458
[automated voice]
Now serving D46 at counter three.
2
00:00:09,541 --> 00:00:12,958
Now serving D46 at counter three.
3
00:00:13,041 --> 00:00:15,500
Ugh, the DMV fucking sucks.
4
00:00:15,583 --> 00:00:17,166
[chuckles] Totally, Van.
5
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:20,541
What a hot and sexy take. Say more.
6
00:00:20,625 --> 00:00:22,166
What's up with you today?
7
00:00:22,250 --> 00:00:24,041
[laughing] Nothing-uh.
8
00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:28,583
I mean, Van is just, like, so fascinating.
No? I-I think so.
9
00:00:28,666 --> 00:00:29,791
Take it easy, Emmy.
10
00:00:29,875 --> 00:00:33,750
- Oh, I'm very easy. Everybody knows it.
- [phone chimes]
11
00:00:33,833 --> 00:00:37,333
- Ugh, it's Ben.
- Ooh, it's Ben! The urinal guy!
12
00:00:37,416 --> 00:00:38,958
[Emmy] "You around tonight?"
13
00:00:39,041 --> 00:00:42,041
"Wanna martini emoji?" [laughs]
14
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:43,833
All right, we need an excuse.
15
00:00:43,916 --> 00:00:47,000
You're out of town.
You've got an aunt thing in Colorado.
16
00:00:47,083 --> 00:00:49,916
- Got it. "Aunt thing."
- Wait. What's an "aunt thing"?
17
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,958
No one knows. It sounds specific,
but it conveys nothing.
18
00:00:53,041 --> 00:00:55,041
We've used it to bail on so many people.
19
00:00:55,125 --> 00:00:58,041
Yeah, no, no, it makes sense.
Aunts are frail.
20
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:01,250
Um, but couldn't we also
just get the drink with Ben?
21
00:01:01,333 --> 00:01:02,208
Definitely not.
22
00:01:02,291 --> 00:01:05,500
But the dong did respectable work,
and he was sweet.
23
00:01:05,583 --> 00:01:06,500
Mmm, nah.
24
00:01:06,583 --> 00:01:10,250
- Now serving D47 at counter nine.
- Oh, that's me. Aunt thing sent.
25
00:01:10,333 --> 00:01:16,041
Cool. Uh, we'll just be here then.
Uh, me and Van's exposed clavicle.
26
00:01:16,125 --> 00:01:17,500
[both chuckle]
27
00:01:17,583 --> 00:01:21,000
So, how have you been?
Since the last time I... Since... Since we...
28
00:01:21,083 --> 00:01:23,500
- Since we kissed?
- Kissed, yes kissed.
29
00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:24,833
We... When we were kissing.
30
00:01:24,916 --> 00:01:27,083
I've been good. And kissing's fun.
31
00:01:27,166 --> 00:01:30,833
I must say,
I do find you oddly compelling.
32
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:36,125
And I find you to be the prettiest
lady rock in the history of the world.
33
00:01:36,208 --> 00:01:37,708
But you're too into me,
34
00:01:37,791 --> 00:01:40,875
and I don't do
your Lovebug relationship thingies.
35
00:01:40,958 --> 00:01:44,916
Well, that's cool, I'm not even
interested in a relationship, bro.
36
00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:47,833
- Let's get married.
- Absolutely. Let's do it in Santa Barbara.
37
00:01:47,916 --> 00:01:48,958
See? Too into me.
38
00:01:49,041 --> 00:01:51,875
[laughing] Okay, okay.
We're not getting married.
39
00:01:51,958 --> 00:01:54,041
But, uh, can we still make out?
40
00:01:54,125 --> 00:01:56,708
We'll see. But right now
I gotta go help Sarah.
41
00:01:56,791 --> 00:02:00,375
Okay, I'll be here,
not wanting a relationship.
42
00:02:00,458 --> 00:02:04,083
Little do you know,
I am such a good kisser,
43
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,458
you will want to marry me.
44
00:02:06,541 --> 00:02:08,208
[cackles] Woo-woo!
45
00:02:08,291 --> 00:02:10,208
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
46
00:02:10,291 --> 00:02:12,583
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
47
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:16,041
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
- ♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
48
00:02:16,125 --> 00:02:18,750
♪ A-ha
So good, so good, so fuckin' real ♪
49
00:02:18,833 --> 00:02:20,916
- ♪ So good, so good, so fuckin' real ♪
- ♪ A-ha ♪
50
00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,791
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
51
00:02:22,875 --> 00:02:24,958
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
52
00:02:25,041 --> 00:02:30,125
♪ It's like I'm powerful
With a little bit of tender ♪
53
00:02:30,208 --> 00:02:34,291
♪ An emotional, sexual bender ♪
54
00:02:34,375 --> 00:02:38,708
♪ Mess me up, yeah
But no one does it better ♪
55
00:02:38,791 --> 00:02:40,583
♪ There's nothing better ♪
56
00:02:40,666 --> 00:02:42,958
♪ That's just the way you make me feel ♪
57
00:02:44,875 --> 00:02:47,000
- First day. You nervous?
- No.
58
00:02:47,083 --> 00:02:48,500
- Well, don't be.
- I'm not.
59
00:02:48,583 --> 00:02:51,833
Good, because it's just an internship.
It doesn't even count.
60
00:02:51,916 --> 00:02:54,500
I mean, it's like you're barely
even a Shame Wizard.
61
00:02:54,583 --> 00:02:57,000
- I am too a Shame Wizard.
- Okay, fine.
62
00:02:57,083 --> 00:02:59,559
- You said you'd respect my choice.
- It's a bad choice though.
63
00:02:59,583 --> 00:03:00,875
- You promised.
- I know.
64
00:03:00,958 --> 00:03:02,708
Hey! Shut the hell up!
65
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:07,083
Montel, I think you're gonna be
a lovely Shame Wizard.
66
00:03:07,166 --> 00:03:09,458
Thank you, Connie Mommy.
You're my favorite.
67
00:03:09,541 --> 00:03:12,375
- Goes without saying.
- "Goes without saying." Blech.
68
00:03:13,250 --> 00:03:15,000
- There they are.
- [cheering]
69
00:03:15,083 --> 00:03:16,750
- All right!
- It's our coach.
70
00:03:16,833 --> 00:03:20,375
That's right. Happy softball season,
A-Rods and A-Holes.
71
00:03:20,458 --> 00:03:23,416
- And there's our star slugger.
- Say, Joe, knuckle me a donut.
72
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:25,625
Mm-hmm. Here comes a heater. [spits]
73
00:03:26,125 --> 00:03:27,333
- [grunts]
- [cheering]
74
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:28,416
- Yeah.
- There you go.
75
00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:31,458
And that's how we're gonna do it
this season. But with a ball.
76
00:03:31,541 --> 00:03:32,583
[Mona] Hell yeah!
77
00:03:32,666 --> 00:03:34,791
So there's an office softball league?
78
00:03:34,875 --> 00:03:37,458
- Yeah.
- How very pre-gig-economy.
79
00:03:37,541 --> 00:03:40,875
Your mother is actually
a pretty legendary hitter.
80
00:03:40,958 --> 00:03:45,291
Back in the Jazz Age,
she hit a ball so hard, it shat itself.
81
00:03:45,375 --> 00:03:46,791
[Walter] Now approaching the plate,
82
00:03:46,875 --> 00:03:50,375
that hotsy-totsy dame
they call Lil Syphilis.
83
00:03:50,458 --> 00:03:52,041
That's right, because her swing,
84
00:03:52,125 --> 00:03:55,500
just like the infection,
is lethal in this era.
85
00:03:56,166 --> 00:03:57,166
[ball farts]
86
00:03:57,208 --> 00:03:59,708
[Kitty] What in the F. Scott Shitzgerald?
87
00:03:59,791 --> 00:04:03,291
Oh my God, it's a Great Shatsby.
88
00:04:03,375 --> 00:04:07,041
That moment gave us all a little hope
in a time of...
89
00:04:07,125 --> 00:04:08,416
so much jazz.
90
00:04:08,500 --> 00:04:11,375
There you are. My uncompensated protégé.
91
00:04:11,458 --> 00:04:14,750
- Tell me, can you play shortstop?
- Whatever you need, boss.
92
00:04:14,833 --> 00:04:16,750
- [groans]
- Connie Mommy, look.
93
00:04:16,833 --> 00:04:19,708
I'm a hot little slice of Americana,
just like you.
94
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:23,416
Oh, you play on whichever team
you want, okay, baby?
95
00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,708
Okay.
96
00:04:24,791 --> 00:04:26,083
But if you play against me,
97
00:04:26,166 --> 00:04:29,166
I'll make you shit like a ball.
98
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,791
- Oh.
- Have a good first day, kiddo.
99
00:04:32,375 --> 00:04:34,625
- Um, are you guys in there again?
- [moaning]
100
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,625
- Get your stupid staples later, Ethan.
- [Ethan] Well, maybe I will.
101
00:04:37,708 --> 00:04:39,000
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
102
00:04:39,083 --> 00:04:42,125
- You're naughty.
- Not naughty, Pete. Hateful.
103
00:04:42,208 --> 00:04:43,666
I hate Dante.
104
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:46,083
- Ooh! [laughs]
- I hate that glitter-titted Hope.
105
00:04:46,166 --> 00:04:47,208
Oh God, yeah.
106
00:04:47,291 --> 00:04:51,833
And I hate that you're still wearing
that dorky little outfit of yours.
107
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:52,958
[chomps, gulps]
108
00:04:53,041 --> 00:04:55,666
Oh, uh... [chuckles] That was a $30 tie,
109
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,541
but, you know what,
whatever the lady likes.
110
00:04:57,625 --> 00:05:01,583
Well, the lady would like you
dick naked and cheeks up, now.
111
00:05:01,666 --> 00:05:03,083
[yells]
112
00:05:03,666 --> 00:05:05,375
- Hoo! [chuckles]
- [exhales]
113
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:08,000
Now that's what I call intercourse.
[chuckles]
114
00:05:08,083 --> 00:05:09,250
All right, Pete. I'm out.
115
00:05:09,333 --> 00:05:11,625
Bring that rubble butt
back here at lunchtime.
116
00:05:11,708 --> 00:05:13,833
[chuckles] Um... [clears throat]
117
00:05:13,916 --> 00:05:18,083
Speaking of my buttocks,
I was thinking about, uh, you know,
118
00:05:18,166 --> 00:05:21,916
other things you could bite,
like, I don't know, a nice meal sometime?
119
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:22,833
[scoffs] A what?
120
00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:25,000
Well, uh, maybe even two meals. [chuckles]
121
00:05:25,083 --> 00:05:26,666
Vigorous coitus demands nutrients.
122
00:05:26,750 --> 00:05:29,125
No dates.
That's not how hate-fucking works.
123
00:05:29,208 --> 00:05:31,375
Oh, uh, "hate-fucking." I see.
124
00:05:31,458 --> 00:05:34,208
Look, when you're a worm,
all fuckin' is hate-fuckin'.
125
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:36,000
- It's not personal.
- Oh! Heh.
126
00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:39,625
"Not personal." Uh, so you don't hate me?
127
00:05:39,708 --> 00:05:42,208
- Not particularly.
- Well, heh, cool beans then.
128
00:05:42,291 --> 00:05:44,083
Yeah, cool beans, Pete.
129
00:05:44,166 --> 00:05:48,000
Okay, well, I'm gonna, uh, go urinate,
so I don't get a UTI.
130
00:05:48,083 --> 00:05:49,458
I suggest you do the same.
131
00:05:49,541 --> 00:05:51,375
[humming]
132
00:05:51,458 --> 00:05:53,041
Hey, Pete, do these shiny lips
133
00:05:53,125 --> 00:05:56,083
make you wanna kiss
and eventually marry me?
134
00:05:56,166 --> 00:05:58,541
- Uh...
- I mean, if you were Van.
135
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:02,416
Ohh, I see. Sounds like you two
are getting serious.
136
00:06:02,500 --> 00:06:05,916
Oh, you know. [giggles] Kinda serious.
137
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,666
I mean, she keeps telling me
she doesn't want a relationship,
138
00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:10,416
but I'm gonna show her how wrong she is.
139
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,250
- We're cute.
- Well, cheers. [chuckles]
140
00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:16,250
You know, incidentally,
I also have romantic news about Rochelle.
141
00:06:16,333 --> 00:06:18,083
Shut up. Tell me everything. Shut up!
142
00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:19,791
Okay, okay, I'll tell you two things.
143
00:06:19,875 --> 00:06:23,375
Supply closet and...
[whispering] ...ten minutes ago.
144
00:06:23,458 --> 00:06:24,708
[laughs]
145
00:06:24,791 --> 00:06:26,875
- Holy holy shit!
- [chuckles]
146
00:06:26,958 --> 00:06:28,916
Yeah. It's all happening.
147
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:32,875
Me in the relationship I've always wanted,
you getting back out there. Look at us go.
148
00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:34,625
We're thriving this season.
149
00:06:34,708 --> 00:06:37,875
Everything is coming up Pete and Emmy.
[chuckles]
150
00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:40,250
All right. Well, I'll let you return
to your seduction.
151
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:43,541
And I'll let you get back
to humping in storage.
152
00:06:43,625 --> 00:06:45,958
Man, I love a sexy office romance.
153
00:06:46,041 --> 00:06:48,166
Wait. "Office romance"?
154
00:06:48,250 --> 00:06:50,750
- Huh?
- Oh my God, that's exactly what it is.
155
00:06:50,833 --> 00:06:53,125
Emmy! Emmy! We have to get
to Creature Administrations
156
00:06:53,208 --> 00:06:55,000
and report our workplace liaisons.
157
00:06:55,083 --> 00:06:57,625
Cool, I'll meet you down there.
Hope there are forms.
158
00:06:57,708 --> 00:07:01,500
Ho-ho, you won't be disappointed, friend.
There are so many forms.
159
00:07:01,583 --> 00:07:03,333
Yeah, no, I'm goin' this way.
160
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:05,583
Yeah, that's it, Black Cloaks,
161
00:07:05,666 --> 00:07:09,541
get better at the thing
you'll do in the game.
162
00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:11,666
- You know, the... the thing.
- [chuckles]
163
00:07:11,750 --> 00:07:12,750
Pathetic.
164
00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,250
[chitters]
165
00:07:14,333 --> 00:07:17,000
Of course they're not a real threat,
Moneyballs.
166
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:19,916
- But a little intel never hurts.
- [Lionel] Oh!
167
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,375
What's this now?
168
00:07:21,458 --> 00:07:23,625
[Lionel] Yes, Montel. Never stop.
169
00:07:23,708 --> 00:07:24,958
Oh, shit.
170
00:07:25,041 --> 00:07:26,291
[whistles]
171
00:07:26,375 --> 00:07:27,750
[Maury pants]
172
00:07:27,833 --> 00:07:29,833
- Uh, here. You're gonna need all of this.
- Mm?
173
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:33,458
HGH? Bull steroids?
What is all this shit for?
174
00:07:33,541 --> 00:07:36,416
It's Montel. They're good. Uh, too good.
175
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,958
They might even be
a better softball player than y...
176
00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:40,083
How dare!
177
00:07:40,166 --> 00:07:44,625
Hey, if you're mad, then why did you do
the sexiest possible thing to me?
178
00:07:44,708 --> 00:07:46,166
- Ah!
- [grunts]
179
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:48,958
It's all incredibly hot.
I... I... I don't know what to tell you.
180
00:07:49,041 --> 00:07:51,958
Well, I don't need your stupid pills
to win this game.
181
00:07:52,041 --> 00:07:53,583
- But, Connie...
- Please observe.
182
00:07:53,666 --> 00:07:57,375
Hey, Sonya, one softball shit
on the rocks, please.
183
00:07:57,458 --> 00:07:59,875
Uh, we don't have softball shit.
184
00:07:59,958 --> 00:08:02,583
Oh, my mistake and my apologies.
185
00:08:02,666 --> 00:08:05,458
Why, pray tell,
don't you have softball shit?
186
00:08:05,541 --> 00:08:10,541
Because it hasn't existed since the 1920s
when you hit that homer.
187
00:08:10,625 --> 00:08:12,541
That will be all, Sonya. Thank you.
188
00:08:12,625 --> 00:08:16,333
Point taken, okay? You're the best,
and I should not have questioned that.
189
00:08:16,416 --> 00:08:17,250
Thank you, Maury.
190
00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:21,125
Well, if you really wanna thank me,
you'll slap me around some more.
191
00:08:21,208 --> 00:08:23,041
Maybe step on my nuts?
192
00:08:23,125 --> 00:08:24,125
Yeah, all right.
193
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:28,166
Get those suckers on the bar,
and I'll get my Doc Martens.
194
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,083
[amusing music playing]
195
00:08:30,166 --> 00:08:31,333
[snores]
196
00:08:31,416 --> 00:08:33,666
Oh, hello, sleepy Sarah.
197
00:08:33,750 --> 00:08:35,958
- Hello, random sex man.
- [Van chuckles]
198
00:08:36,041 --> 00:08:37,333
And, oh, hey, Van.
199
00:08:37,416 --> 00:08:41,458
Fancy meeting you here
with my lips all glossed up and kissable.
200
00:08:41,541 --> 00:08:43,791
They do look very wet.
201
00:08:43,875 --> 00:08:46,000
But they're really just sticky.
202
00:08:46,083 --> 00:08:47,434
- [phone vibrates]
- [gasps, sighs]
203
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,125
- Time to skedaddle?
- Right. Skedaddle.
204
00:08:49,208 --> 00:08:51,500
We skedaddle because we, as a collective,
205
00:08:51,583 --> 00:08:53,666
don't give a shit about relationships,
206
00:08:53,750 --> 00:08:56,666
even though it is nice
to have a partner to share your life with.
207
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:57,750
Emmy...
208
00:08:57,833 --> 00:09:02,208
What? I'm not talking about us.
I meant theoretically.
209
00:09:02,791 --> 00:09:05,291
[groans] Where the hell is the door? Ow!
210
00:09:05,375 --> 00:09:07,041
Oh my God. Shit. I-I'm so sorry.
211
00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:10,041
I was getting water.
I didn't even see you. Sarah?
212
00:09:10,125 --> 00:09:11,416
- Ben?
- It's Ben! Ben's here!
213
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:12,791
[both] What the fuck?
214
00:09:12,875 --> 00:09:16,041
What the fuck me?
Uh, this is... [chuckles] ...my home.
215
00:09:16,125 --> 00:09:18,291
So what the fuck you, actually.
216
00:09:18,375 --> 00:09:20,916
Wha... Oh God, this is the same apartment.
217
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:25,125
Which we could not have known.
Every dude lives in this apartment.
218
00:09:25,208 --> 00:09:28,458
Uh, so, are you stalking me or something?
219
00:09:28,541 --> 00:09:30,708
Ew, no! I... I was just...
220
00:09:30,791 --> 00:09:31,916
I, um...
221
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:32,875
[babbles]
222
00:09:32,958 --> 00:09:35,833
...went home with some guy,
223
00:09:35,916 --> 00:09:39,625
and it turns out he's your roommate.
224
00:09:39,708 --> 00:09:41,625
Oh, wow. With Cody?
225
00:09:41,708 --> 00:09:43,250
Yep, I know. I'm an asshole.
226
00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,500
- Uh, I'm getting an Uber and leaving.
- [sighs]
227
00:09:45,583 --> 00:09:49,875
So I guess your "aunt thing"
was just not wanting to hang out with me?
228
00:09:49,958 --> 00:09:52,875
- Aw, Sarah, he's sad.
- Who cares?
229
00:09:52,958 --> 00:09:57,041
Shit. Um...
It's a 57-minute wait and it's raining.
230
00:09:57,125 --> 00:10:00,083
Can I take this CVS bag
so I can put it on my head?
231
00:10:00,166 --> 00:10:01,250
[groans]
232
00:10:01,333 --> 00:10:02,666
Wow. Fine. Keep it.
233
00:10:02,750 --> 00:10:05,708
No, that's not what I...
Look, I'll just give you a ride.
234
00:10:05,791 --> 00:10:09,333
I'm sorry. I like him.
I like when they provide services.
235
00:10:09,416 --> 00:10:11,500
[thunderclap]
236
00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,375
You know, you could have sat up front.
237
00:10:13,458 --> 00:10:16,833
It's cool. Just thought
I'd keep it professional.
238
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:20,875
Ugh, I really am sorry
about the "aunt thing" thing.
239
00:10:20,958 --> 00:10:22,208
Ew, why are you apologizing?
240
00:10:22,291 --> 00:10:26,291
And if it makes you feel any better,
Cody sucks at sex.
241
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:29,041
[chuckles] That...
That does help a little bit.
242
00:10:29,125 --> 00:10:31,916
- You should talk to him about that.
- Actually, I don't think I will.
243
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:32,833
[laughs]
244
00:10:32,916 --> 00:10:35,583
- Vibe. Sarah, the vibe is back.
- Is not, shut up.
245
00:10:35,666 --> 00:10:37,875
Hey, can I ask you something weird?
246
00:10:37,958 --> 00:10:38,958
Uh, okay?
247
00:10:39,041 --> 00:10:42,333
That night that we were together,
did you steal my deodorant?
248
00:10:42,416 --> 00:10:45,000
- She did. She's wearing it.
- That's crazy and weird.
249
00:10:45,083 --> 00:10:47,125
Why... Why would I want your deodorant?
250
00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:49,958
I... I don't know. Why would you be
in my kitchen at 1:00 a.m.?
251
00:10:50,041 --> 00:10:52,500
- Like, are you obsessed with me...?
- Definitely not, dude.
252
00:10:52,583 --> 00:10:54,291
Or do you wanna murder me?
253
00:10:54,375 --> 00:10:57,208
- We don't. You're hot.
- I promise it's neither.
254
00:10:57,291 --> 00:11:01,625
But this ride was very kind,
and I guess I'm glad I ran into you.
255
00:11:01,708 --> 00:11:03,588
[navigation voice]
Arriving at your destination.
256
00:11:03,625 --> 00:11:06,958
- Okay, well, uh, have a good...
- We should try one date.
257
00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:09,583
- [all] What?!
- Wait, right? I can't tell anymore.
258
00:11:09,666 --> 00:11:14,916
Knowing you has been very confusing,
but I find you... oddly compelling.
259
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:17,458
- [gasps] Oh my God.
- It's a coincidence.
260
00:11:17,541 --> 00:11:18,625
Bitch, say yes.
261
00:11:18,708 --> 00:11:20,517
- Nope. No, thank you.
- Um... I... I don't kno...
262
00:11:20,541 --> 00:11:22,142
- Ow! I... I have to think.
- Nope. Come on.
263
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:23,666
- Good night.
- I'll text you.
264
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,666
[sighs] Yeah, I'm sure you will.
265
00:11:25,750 --> 00:11:27,125
I know you can't hear me, sir,
266
00:11:27,208 --> 00:11:29,791
but I am gonna do
everything in my damn power
267
00:11:29,875 --> 00:11:32,625
to help you double-dip that dick
in my girl.
268
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:33,625
[Pete] Good morning.
269
00:11:33,708 --> 00:11:37,750
I, uh, seek formal approval
to continue a workplace romance.
270
00:11:37,833 --> 00:11:39,958
You'll find I've completed
all mandatory forms.
271
00:11:40,041 --> 00:11:42,958
Oh, great. And now I get to process them.
272
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:44,208
Ugh, okay.
273
00:11:44,291 --> 00:11:47,916
Concerned parties.
Pete Doheny. Rochelle Hillcrest.
274
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000
Hillhurst.
275
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,708
The gorgeous, highly accomplished
worm on floor three. [chuckles]
276
00:11:51,791 --> 00:11:53,831
I know what you're thinking,
how did I get so lucky?
277
00:11:53,875 --> 00:11:57,250
I'm not thinking. Confirm that you are not
Ms. Hillhurst's supervisor.
278
00:11:57,333 --> 00:11:58,166
Confirmed.
279
00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:00,708
- Has there been any harassment?
- Oh, not at all.
280
00:12:00,791 --> 00:12:05,416
Uh, although, her ass meant
a great deal to me when I first saw it.
281
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,226
- [chuckles]
- Please, sir. I have a migraine.
282
00:12:07,250 --> 00:12:09,210
- Sorry.
- Now, is this an exclusive relationship?
283
00:12:09,291 --> 00:12:10,916
Oh, uh... Well, no.
284
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,125
I would welcome that, of course,
but she's still getting over her...
285
00:12:14,208 --> 00:12:17,500
Do you discuss confidential
client information on dates?
286
00:12:17,583 --> 00:12:19,250
"Dates," you said? [chuckles]
287
00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:20,541
- [worker sighs]
- Dates.
288
00:12:20,625 --> 00:12:23,166
Um, well, see, the thing is,
Rochelle would happily starve
289
00:12:23,250 --> 00:12:24,890
before she'd sit in a restaurant with me.
290
00:12:24,916 --> 00:12:26,250
That has been made clear.
291
00:12:26,333 --> 00:12:30,791
So frankly, Mr. Questions,
I'm not sure to which "dates" you refer.
292
00:12:30,875 --> 00:12:34,041
[groans] Okay, man.
I think you filled out the wrong form.
293
00:12:34,125 --> 00:12:35,958
Okay, well,
now you're embarrassing yourself
294
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:38,333
because I do not fill out incorrect forms.
295
00:12:38,416 --> 00:12:44,333
So please process my Form 7413B
for a Workplace Romance.
296
00:12:44,416 --> 00:12:49,500
No, because you're supposed
to fill out a 7413D
297
00:12:49,583 --> 00:12:54,083
for Sad Little Fuck-Puppets
Getting Used For Sex By Their Coworker.
298
00:12:54,166 --> 00:12:56,916
[scoffs]
It can't possibly say that on the...
299
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,125
Oh my God, it does.
300
00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,916
Please leave if you're going to cry.
301
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,375
My union says
I don't have to look at that.
302
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:06,125
[to the tune of the US National Anthem]
♪ O, spray tans are free ♪
303
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:09,666
♪ At the place near my house ♪
304
00:13:09,750 --> 00:13:12,958
♪ When you pay for nine tans ♪
305
00:13:13,041 --> 00:13:17,083
♪ Then the tenth one is gratis ♪
306
00:13:17,166 --> 00:13:20,541
♪ And the girl's name is Claire ♪
307
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,500
♪ And she has shiny hair ♪
308
00:13:23,583 --> 00:13:26,916
♪ She went to school with my mom ♪
309
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,791
♪ But they weren't super close ♪
310
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:34,458
♪ O, Claire doesn't ever ♪
311
00:13:34,541 --> 00:13:40,166
♪ Remember my name ♪
312
00:13:40,250 --> 00:13:44,833
♪ But her spray tans look sweet ♪
313
00:13:44,916 --> 00:13:51,083
♪ So I help pay her student loans ♪
314
00:13:51,166 --> 00:13:52,666
- Well done, Mr. Rick.
- [applause]
315
00:13:52,750 --> 00:13:54,750
Let's play some basketball!
316
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:56,125
- USA!
- Woo-hoo!
317
00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:59,625
This pitcher throws a sinker,
so remember, keep your eye on the ball.
318
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:02,708
She could even throw a change-up,
in which case, remember,
319
00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:04,583
keep your eye on the ball.
320
00:14:04,666 --> 00:14:06,125
I got it. [gasps]
321
00:14:06,208 --> 00:14:07,041
The hell?
322
00:14:07,125 --> 00:14:08,791
Oh, hey, Mamas. [spits]
323
00:14:08,875 --> 00:14:13,125
Lionel's got Montel pitching now too?
That filthy cheat.
324
00:14:13,208 --> 00:14:16,541
That was not in the game plan
I stole from his office.
325
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:18,875
[Walter, over PA]
Here comes the first pitch.
326
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:20,291
- [grunts]
- Strike one.
327
00:14:20,375 --> 00:14:21,708
Oh, my.
328
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,416
Strike two.
329
00:14:23,500 --> 00:14:26,125
Connie can't strike out, right?
I mean, she never strikes out.
330
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:28,750
You know what she should do?
Keep her eye on...
331
00:14:28,833 --> 00:14:29,958
- She knows that, Gil.
- Ahh!
332
00:14:30,041 --> 00:14:33,500
All right, I hope
you enjoyed playtime, baby.
333
00:14:33,583 --> 00:14:36,291
Because Mama's gonna
put you to bed now.
334
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:37,458
- [grunts]
- Oh!
335
00:14:37,541 --> 00:14:39,833
- Strike three!
- Oh, my gosh!
336
00:14:39,916 --> 00:14:43,583
[laughs] Holy shit! Mom, did you see that?
337
00:14:43,666 --> 00:14:45,000
'Cause if you did,
338
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,250
you should've hit it.
339
00:14:46,333 --> 00:14:48,333
Wow, just wow.
340
00:14:48,416 --> 00:14:54,291
The unflappable Connie LaCienega
very much flapped at the top of the game.
341
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:57,500
Tyler! How can you eat nachos
at a time like this?
342
00:14:57,583 --> 00:14:59,208
They're jalapeño nachos.
343
00:14:59,291 --> 00:15:02,833
They make my semen muy picante.
344
00:15:02,916 --> 00:15:04,958
Oh my God! I struck out.
345
00:15:05,041 --> 00:15:09,541
That little fuckin' nobody's
trying to steal my game.
346
00:15:09,625 --> 00:15:11,625
- You should have kept your eye...
- Don't you...
347
00:15:11,708 --> 00:15:13,166
[choking] I know you're mad,
348
00:15:13,250 --> 00:15:16,208
but you're making me hard
in front of the team.
349
00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:19,916
- Okay, let's see here.
- Could we make this a quickie?
350
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,583
I want to get back for the 7th-inning
stretch-out-your-asshole.
351
00:15:22,666 --> 00:15:24,750
- You got it, Mona.
- You called this meeting?
352
00:15:24,833 --> 00:15:28,708
Why, yes, I did, and by the end of it,
you're gonna wanna go on a date.
353
00:15:28,791 --> 00:15:30,541
Really? With you?
354
00:15:30,625 --> 00:15:35,125
No, I meant Ben and Sarah,
but it's good to know you wanna date me.
355
00:15:35,208 --> 00:15:37,916
- You're relentless.
- And a little delusional.
356
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,500
- [chuckles]
- Sarah and Ben.
357
00:15:40,583 --> 00:15:43,125
What the fuck? Emmy made a PowerPoint?
358
00:15:43,208 --> 00:15:46,625
They've had not one, but two meet-cutes.
359
00:15:46,708 --> 00:15:49,833
Some would call that a meet-two-t.
360
00:15:49,916 --> 00:15:51,416
Some would call it fate.
361
00:15:51,500 --> 00:15:54,916
Well, some would call fate
"very not real."
362
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,208
Logical objections, naturally.
363
00:15:57,291 --> 00:16:00,166
All of which I've addressed
in my upcoming slides.
364
00:16:00,250 --> 00:16:02,750
I'll show 'em to you, if you ask nicely.
365
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:04,750
All right, Boss Baby Emmy.
366
00:16:04,833 --> 00:16:06,875
Show me your slides please.
367
00:16:06,958 --> 00:16:08,166
What's going on with you two?
368
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:10,250
Why are you breathing
at each other so much?
369
00:16:10,333 --> 00:16:14,375
As you can see in slide two,
human life is short,
370
00:16:14,458 --> 00:16:18,000
which by Van's own logic,
means humans should, uh...
371
00:16:18,083 --> 00:16:22,583
- What was that rule again?
- Minimize pain, maximize pleasure.
372
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:26,291
Exactly. Well, guess what
I find pleasurable.
373
00:16:26,375 --> 00:16:27,208
Love.
374
00:16:27,291 --> 00:16:29,750
You think the urinal guy is true love?
375
00:16:29,833 --> 00:16:32,000
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
376
00:16:32,083 --> 00:16:34,250
I think he's new love.
377
00:16:34,333 --> 00:16:37,750
Floaty, buzzy horniness
378
00:16:37,833 --> 00:16:40,750
that's so loud you can't taste food.
379
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,458
- That's maximum pleasure.
- Yes to the date!
380
00:16:43,541 --> 00:16:46,708
I got a pulse in my vag too.
Let's text what's-his-face.
381
00:16:46,791 --> 00:16:51,291
Damn, Em. I had no idea
you could be so analytical.
382
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:55,208
Oh, it's always my pleasure
to analyze this.
383
00:16:55,291 --> 00:16:59,041
Sexy fucking movie!
Fist each other right now, or I quit.
384
00:16:59,125 --> 00:17:02,333
So, Van, what do you say? One date?
385
00:17:02,416 --> 00:17:05,791
All right, one date.
But just to shut you up.
386
00:17:05,875 --> 00:17:07,208
Baby, I'll take it.
387
00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:12,625
Clits ahoy! Stick around, lesbians.
After this, more softball.
388
00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:15,583
[Walter] It's the bottom of the fourth,
and the Black Cloaks,
389
00:17:15,666 --> 00:17:17,125
well, they could use a rally, honey.
390
00:17:17,208 --> 00:17:21,250
All right, let's go, Black Cloaks.
Come on. Let's see her.
391
00:17:21,333 --> 00:17:22,500
[Kitty] It's a pop fly.
392
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,166
[Walter] But there seems to be
an open fly in the outfield.
393
00:17:25,250 --> 00:17:26,333
- [moans]
- [splash]
394
00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:29,041
- [Tyler] Lo siento, grass.
- Tyler! Eyes up, dick down.
395
00:17:29,125 --> 00:17:30,125
Oh!
396
00:17:30,625 --> 00:17:31,541
[Kitty] He's safe.
397
00:17:31,625 --> 00:17:34,291
With that, the Black Cloaks
have three Wizards on base.
398
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:37,291
Not unlike Les Claypool,
Sir Paul McCartney,
399
00:17:37,375 --> 00:17:39,875
and Flea from the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
400
00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:41,250
That's three wizards...
401
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,750
[imitates bass notes]
402
00:17:42,833 --> 00:17:44,416
...on bass. [laughs]
403
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:49,000
Oh God. The time has come.
Gil, hand me my anal beads. [groans]
404
00:17:49,083 --> 00:17:51,458
Hail Mary, full of grace,
the long dong is with thee.
405
00:17:51,541 --> 00:17:54,791
[Kitty] Montel LaBeverley
steps up to the plate.
406
00:17:54,875 --> 00:17:56,875
Do your thing, rookie.
407
00:17:56,958 --> 00:18:00,416
Psst! Montel!
I hear Joe's gonna throw a slider.
408
00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:01,750
[blows kiss] Good luck, sugar.
409
00:18:01,833 --> 00:18:03,958
Aw, thanks, Connie Mommy.
410
00:18:04,041 --> 00:18:06,083
You lyin', big-haired bitch.
411
00:18:06,166 --> 00:18:10,166
[grunting in slow-motion]
412
00:18:10,250 --> 00:18:11,791
[triumphant music playing]
413
00:18:11,875 --> 00:18:16,291
[Walter] Geena Davis Christ,
the ball seems to be shitting.
414
00:18:16,375 --> 00:18:18,083
- [ball farting]
- [Kitty] And pissing.
415
00:18:18,166 --> 00:18:19,916
This is a softball first.
416
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,458
It's going, going,
417
00:18:21,541 --> 00:18:23,875
it's in a
toxic-onscreen-marriage-to-Ben-Affleck,
418
00:18:23,958 --> 00:18:25,125
Gone Girl!
419
00:18:25,208 --> 00:18:27,416
Grand slam, thank you, ma'am!
420
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:31,375
I'm God! Sports are everything to me!
421
00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,833
Oh, hey, Mama M.
422
00:18:32,916 --> 00:18:35,833
[groans]
Gil, put these back in my ass, please.
423
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:40,000
Hey, Tyler. Get over here,
and bring your spicy sack with you.
424
00:18:40,083 --> 00:18:40,958
Okay.
425
00:18:41,041 --> 00:18:42,750
Mama got a plan.
426
00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:45,083
I love your choice of venue.
427
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,583
- [barking]
- Very romantic.
428
00:18:47,666 --> 00:18:51,125
Yeah, I hope it isn't weird
that I used to fuck a lot of these dogs.
429
00:18:51,208 --> 00:18:54,041
Hey, New York's a small town.
It was bound to happen.
430
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:55,041
[both laugh]
431
00:18:55,125 --> 00:18:58,875
Okay, Ben.
Rolling with the bestiality joke.
432
00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:01,166
[chuckles] I guess he is kinda fun.
433
00:19:01,250 --> 00:19:04,041
[chuckles]
Do you do that sleeve thing every time?
434
00:19:04,125 --> 00:19:06,041
The windshield wipe? Oh, yeah.
435
00:19:06,125 --> 00:19:08,458
I've always prided myself
on a clean mustache.
436
00:19:08,541 --> 00:19:10,708
- Since sixth grade.
- Hang on. Sixth grade?
437
00:19:10,791 --> 00:19:13,791
- Eleven years old, full Tom Selleck.
- [Sarah laughs]
438
00:19:13,875 --> 00:19:16,583
Oh, this is very gorgeous.
439
00:19:16,666 --> 00:19:18,458
Oh, yeah. Pediatricians were puzzled.
440
00:19:18,541 --> 00:19:20,142
- Someone wrote a paper about me.
- [barks]
441
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:21,708
- Whoa, buddy.
- Oh, shit.
442
00:19:21,791 --> 00:19:24,291
[chuckles]
Gotta keep that thing clean, right?
443
00:19:25,875 --> 00:19:30,708
Yes! Hell yes! Cute. Hot. Admit.
444
00:19:30,791 --> 00:19:34,375
Admit what?
That fate is real, and love conquers all?
445
00:19:34,458 --> 00:19:38,833
No, none of that. Relax.
I just meant tonight's a good night.
446
00:19:38,916 --> 00:19:42,791
Okay, yeah...
I guess Sarah is having a good time.
447
00:19:42,875 --> 00:19:45,291
- Just Sarah?
- Well, me too.
448
00:19:45,375 --> 00:19:47,375
[romantic music playing]
449
00:19:48,625 --> 00:19:53,041
[chuckles] You want real tween tragedy?
Strap in for my emo phase.
450
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:54,750
[Ben laughs]
451
00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:55,833
Very spooky.
452
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:59,041
I got mall-arrested
for stealing that spiky bracelet.
453
00:19:59,125 --> 00:19:59,958
Oh, wow.
454
00:20:00,041 --> 00:20:02,916
My mom made me wear pastels for a month
as a punishment.
455
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,666
- Diabolical. I like your mom.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
456
00:20:06,750 --> 00:20:07,958
Wait. What did he say?
457
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:11,250
Oh, uh, unless... no? Do we hate her?
458
00:20:11,333 --> 00:20:12,666
Dude, none of your business.
459
00:20:12,750 --> 00:20:16,000
What? What's going on?
Why is my mouth empty?
460
00:20:16,083 --> 00:20:19,291
Yeah, my... my mom and I... Can we...
Can we talk about something else, please?
461
00:20:19,375 --> 00:20:23,250
Oh, of course. No, uh, sorry.
A-Absolutely.
462
00:20:23,333 --> 00:20:26,875
- I'm just gonna...
- Oh, right. I'll... I can un-touch you.
463
00:20:26,958 --> 00:20:29,416
Wait, Sarah,
what's the drama with your mama?
464
00:20:29,500 --> 00:20:31,750
- Not now, Emmy.
- But you're being so weird.
465
00:20:31,833 --> 00:20:34,083
- We were having a good time. Wait, what?
- [thud]
466
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:37,458
[groans] This was stupid. So stupid.
467
00:20:37,541 --> 00:20:39,333
Fucking dog shit everywhere.
468
00:20:39,416 --> 00:20:42,583
Van? No. What the hell are you doing
with those rocks?
469
00:20:42,666 --> 00:20:45,916
- Everything's fine. Just rela...
- Don't fucking tell me to relax.
470
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,666
Okay, fine.
471
00:20:47,750 --> 00:20:52,458
Well, folks, the Stiff Sox
have clawed their way back to the lead
472
00:20:52,541 --> 00:20:54,916
and are just one out away from victory.
473
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,291
[Kitty] But with a big hit,
474
00:20:56,375 --> 00:21:00,041
Montel LaBeverley
could win it all for the Black Cloaks.
475
00:21:00,125 --> 00:21:02,476
Hey, batter, batter, batter!
I love you, but please fuck up.
476
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:05,375
- Batter, batter, batter!
- Come on, intern! Play like we pay you.
477
00:21:05,458 --> 00:21:07,291
- [Kitty] Here comes the...
- Hey, slugger.
478
00:21:07,375 --> 00:21:09,583
- Tyler?
- Hot-sauce delivery.
479
00:21:09,666 --> 00:21:14,375
It's from my balls. [echoes]
480
00:21:15,333 --> 00:21:18,541
[in slow-motion] No!
481
00:21:19,541 --> 00:21:20,916
[gasping]
482
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,458
- [sizzling]
- Why?! Why?!
483
00:21:22,541 --> 00:21:23,875
[Kitty] Oh, jizz in the face.
484
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:26,625
- You're out.
- Oh, is that allowed?
485
00:21:26,708 --> 00:21:28,833
How are there seeds in it?!
486
00:21:28,916 --> 00:21:30,416
Unbelievable!
487
00:21:30,500 --> 00:21:33,791
The Hormone Monsters
have Nancied their Kerrigan
488
00:21:33,875 --> 00:21:35,083
and won it all.
489
00:21:35,166 --> 00:21:37,291
We did it, Connie. Great plan.
490
00:21:37,375 --> 00:21:39,875
Was that a gooey Gillooly or what?
491
00:21:39,958 --> 00:21:40,791
Nice work, kid.
492
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:44,333
Oh my God, Connie, you saved the day!
I mean, you won the game!
493
00:21:44,416 --> 00:21:47,875
I mean, you had our child attacked,
which is awful.
494
00:21:47,958 --> 00:21:49,750
See? I... I... I got there. I got there.
495
00:21:50,833 --> 00:21:53,250
[gulps, sighs]
496
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:54,708
Another raspberry.
497
00:21:54,791 --> 00:21:58,208
- You sure about that, big guy?
- Of course. Hey, I'm celebrating.
498
00:21:58,291 --> 00:22:01,875
I'm Rochelle's certified rent-a-hole,
so cheers to me.
499
00:22:01,958 --> 00:22:04,625
Oh, by all means, stare.
500
00:22:04,708 --> 00:22:08,916
Look me in the eyes, please,
because Lord knows Rochelle won't.
501
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,041
Hey, Pete, I think I know
what's gonna happen when I ask this,
502
00:22:12,125 --> 00:22:13,958
but, you okay?
503
00:22:14,041 --> 00:22:17,166
[sobs]
504
00:22:17,250 --> 00:22:18,875
Yeah. What I thought.
505
00:22:18,958 --> 00:22:22,458
I know some people look at me
and see some big tough rock
506
00:22:22,541 --> 00:22:24,416
with huge muscles that are also rocks...
507
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:25,333
Sure.
508
00:22:25,416 --> 00:22:28,500
...but underneath that,
I'm actually a pretty sensitive guy.
509
00:22:28,583 --> 00:22:30,000
I do see that now.
510
00:22:30,083 --> 00:22:33,416
A sensitive guy and a Hate Worm.
That's tricky math.
511
00:22:33,500 --> 00:22:35,958
Yeah, so what do you think I should do
512
00:22:36,041 --> 00:22:39,541
if I want a real romance
but she only wants hate sex?
513
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:40,708
- Get a doll?
- What?
514
00:22:40,791 --> 00:22:43,916
You know, a doll that looks like her,
and I pretend it says nice things.
515
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,541
I think what you do
is tell her the truth, Pete.
516
00:22:46,625 --> 00:22:47,458
Say what you need.
517
00:22:47,541 --> 00:22:50,541
But... she could say no
and I could lose her entirely.
518
00:22:50,625 --> 00:22:52,166
Well, that's the risk.
519
00:22:52,250 --> 00:22:54,666
If you don't wanna take it,
you can just keep being
520
00:22:54,750 --> 00:22:56,875
a "Sad Little Fuck-Puppet."
521
00:22:57,458 --> 00:23:01,500
No, Pete Doheny is more than a 7413D.
522
00:23:01,583 --> 00:23:03,250
I'm gonna tell her how I feel.
523
00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:05,142
- [laughs] That's what I'm talking about.
- Hoo!
524
00:23:05,166 --> 00:23:07,666
That felt good.
I, uh, do have other hard copies.
525
00:23:07,750 --> 00:23:11,083
Plus digital backups,
both cloud and local, but, uh... Hoo!
526
00:23:11,166 --> 00:23:13,333
- All right. Hey!
- Yeah!
527
00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:16,583
Victory circle jerk. Let's go, you two.
528
00:23:16,666 --> 00:23:20,833
Be right with you, Joe. I, uh, wanna go
shake hands with the losers first.
529
00:23:20,916 --> 00:23:23,291
Not me, I wanna jack off my teammates.
530
00:23:23,375 --> 00:23:26,041
[Connie] Got you a Shamey Temple.
Your fav...
531
00:23:26,125 --> 00:23:27,375
How dare!
532
00:23:27,458 --> 00:23:31,875
How could you, Connie, pay him, Tyler,
533
00:23:31,958 --> 00:23:34,541
to I, Tonya me, Montel?
534
00:23:34,625 --> 00:23:37,541
Oh my God. Stop, stop, stop.
535
00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:41,500
Don't even try shaming me.
It is not gonna work.
536
00:23:41,583 --> 00:23:44,333
[stammers] Pardon me.
Professional curiosity.
537
00:23:44,416 --> 00:23:48,958
You're not ashamed
for temporarily blinding your own child?
538
00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:50,916
- No, I am not.
- [groans]
539
00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:54,333
- Monty, I love you, and I love lovin' you.
- [gentle music playing]
540
00:23:54,416 --> 00:23:58,708
But today, you almost surpassed me
at something I care about,
541
00:23:58,791 --> 00:24:01,375
and I just couldn't let that happen.
542
00:24:01,458 --> 00:24:05,541
Because if I surpassed you,
you'd have to stop lovin' me?
543
00:24:05,625 --> 00:24:07,000
Exactly.
544
00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:12,041
So I took a hit out on you,
and now we can be a family again.
545
00:24:12,125 --> 00:24:15,875
- Come here, honey.
- [chuckles] Oh, this is very fucked up.
546
00:24:15,958 --> 00:24:20,625
Somehow, I feel shame
for ever being good at softball.
547
00:24:20,708 --> 00:24:22,791
[gasps] How did you do that?
548
00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:26,166
- You got all your talent from me, baby.
- Oh!
549
00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:28,833
I love you, you psycho bitch.
550
00:24:28,916 --> 00:24:34,958
So, yeah, that's why
I stopped cutting my own hair.
551
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,416
- [Van groans]
- [chuckles]
552
00:24:36,500 --> 00:24:38,291
- Crazy, right?
- Yeah, crazy.
553
00:24:38,375 --> 00:24:41,625
Come on, Sarah.
Why are you shutting him out?
554
00:24:41,708 --> 00:24:44,875
[clears throat]
I'm sorry again about before,
555
00:24:44,958 --> 00:24:46,791
if I pried about your mom.
556
00:24:46,875 --> 00:24:50,666
- It's fine. You didn't do anything wrong.
- Yeah, exactly. He's a good man.
557
00:24:50,750 --> 00:24:53,291
- A mighty, mighty good man.
- Jesus, can you talk normal?
558
00:24:53,375 --> 00:24:55,666
I'm just saying,
I don't get what the problem is.
559
00:24:55,750 --> 00:24:57,041
Maybe you're the problem.
560
00:24:57,125 --> 00:25:01,041
Me? You're building a wall.
A literal emotional wall.
561
00:25:01,125 --> 00:25:02,875
Is it made of you, by the way?
562
00:25:02,958 --> 00:25:05,478
Or are you pooing it?
I don't know, I feel like that would hurt.
563
00:25:05,541 --> 00:25:07,601
Sarah, we never should've listened
to her. I'm sorry.
564
00:25:07,625 --> 00:25:10,041
Whoa, hi. I'm right here.
565
00:25:10,125 --> 00:25:12,958
Look, I don't know what the big deal
about your mom is, but...
566
00:25:13,041 --> 00:25:15,833
[grunts] It's not about her mom.
567
00:25:15,916 --> 00:25:17,291
So drop it, Emmy, okay?
568
00:25:17,375 --> 00:25:20,958
Look, I... I'm sorry
if I pushed too hard. I just...
569
00:25:21,458 --> 00:25:23,625
I wanted something great for you.
570
00:25:23,708 --> 00:25:26,416
I wanted something great for all of us.
571
00:25:26,500 --> 00:25:29,041
- [groans]
- I... I really thought it could be great.
572
00:25:29,125 --> 00:25:30,583
Well, you thought wrong.
573
00:25:30,666 --> 00:25:34,458
What's happening?
Why are you being so mean?
574
00:25:34,541 --> 00:25:37,250
♪ Fuck feelings
Swear that shit ruined my life ♪
575
00:25:37,333 --> 00:25:39,208
♪ All they ever do is just waste my time ♪
576
00:25:39,291 --> 00:25:41,875
♪ Fuck feelings
Swear that shit ruined my life ♪
577
00:25:41,958 --> 00:25:43,500
♪ No, they never do me right ♪
578
00:25:43,583 --> 00:25:48,333
♪ Fuck feelings
How I do when I'm feeling it for you ♪
579
00:25:48,416 --> 00:25:50,625
♪ Fuck feelings, fuck feelings ♪
580
00:25:50,708 --> 00:25:53,208
♪ Fuck feelings, fuck what I'm feeling ♪
581
00:25:53,291 --> 00:25:57,750
♪ I can't help myself when you're around ♪
582
00:25:57,833 --> 00:26:02,333
♪ Baby, I'm just tryna figure you out ♪
583
00:26:02,416 --> 00:26:06,625
♪ I don't wanna watch you turn me down ♪
584
00:26:06,708 --> 00:26:11,500
♪ So I'm just gonna turn back
And go now, go now ♪
585
00:26:11,583 --> 00:26:15,458
♪ I can't just let go
No, it's not like that ♪
586
00:26:16,333 --> 00:26:20,250
♪ I know if I see you
I'll run right back ♪
587
00:26:20,300 --> 00:26:24,850
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