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1
00:00:01,688 --> 00:00:04,742
- Dad, we need to talk.
- Is it about the bees?
2
00:00:04,745 --> 00:00:06,712
Bees?
We're throwing
3
00:00:06,714 --> 00:00:08,392
a housewarming party
in two weeks.
4
00:00:08,417 --> 00:00:09,215
Oh.
5
00:00:09,216 --> 00:00:10,632
It's gonna be friends,
neighbors...
6
00:00:10,634 --> 00:00:12,134
Did he say...
did he say "bees"?
7
00:00:12,136 --> 00:00:15,554
Yeah. Marshall's been working
very long hours lately,
8
00:00:15,556 --> 00:00:18,590
so I have been planning
this whole party by myself,
9
00:00:18,592 --> 00:00:21,443
and everything's in place:
the food, the wine.
10
00:00:21,445 --> 00:00:24,596
I even found a rare
Gouda on the Internet.
11
00:00:24,598 --> 00:00:25,781
Oh.
12
00:00:25,783 --> 00:00:26,982
Getting back
to these bees...
13
00:00:26,984 --> 00:00:29,034
Bottom line: this party
is very important to me,
14
00:00:29,036 --> 00:00:33,538
so I can only assume--
and I say this with love--
15
00:00:33,540 --> 00:00:34,940
you're gonna ruin it.
16
00:00:34,942 --> 00:00:37,859
Lily, I promise I won't ruin
your party.
17
00:00:37,861 --> 00:00:39,611
I'll be charming and convivial.
18
00:00:39,613 --> 00:00:40,963
A regular Burt Reynolds.
19
00:00:40,965 --> 00:00:42,664
You have absolutely nothing
to worry about.
20
00:00:42,666 --> 00:00:44,766
Tell us about the bees!
21
00:00:44,768 --> 00:00:46,969
Well, all right,
since you asked.
22
00:00:46,971 --> 00:00:48,303
I'm starting up a business
23
00:00:48,305 --> 00:00:51,006
cultivating all-organic,
artisanal honey.
24
00:00:51,008 --> 00:00:53,809
That's right,
I'm a job creator.
25
00:00:53,811 --> 00:00:56,144
Oh.
So this party...
26
00:00:56,146 --> 00:00:57,980
Oh, Lily, wait.
Um, if you don't mind,
27
00:00:57,982 --> 00:01:00,432
I just,
I have one follow-up.
28
00:01:00,434 --> 00:01:03,235
Where are you doing
this exactly?
29
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:06,154
Downstairs-- there's 10,000 bees
in the basement.
30
00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:23,499
Why would you even say
that?! It's the most ridic...
31
00:01:23,501 --> 00:01:25,501
Happy housewarming!
32
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,286
Hey, guys.
33
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,453
Robin here has spent
34
00:01:28,455 --> 00:01:30,556
all day learning
how to make kugel.
35
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,341
Couldn't figure it out--
this is from Zabar's.
36
00:01:32,343 --> 00:01:34,009
Can we heat it up
in your oven?
37
00:01:34,011 --> 00:01:36,679
Faster than heating it up
in the refrigerator.
38
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,814
I've had a few cocktails.
39
00:01:38,816 --> 00:01:40,416
I got it.
Take that.
40
00:01:41,651 --> 00:01:43,635
Kids, someday
you're gonna throw a party,
41
00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,404
and you might find yourself
worrying
42
00:01:45,406 --> 00:01:47,189
if something's gonna go wrong.
43
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:49,141
Well, don't.
44
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:52,778
What you should worry about
is everything going wrong.
45
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,615
And what's really scary
is how quickly that can happen.
46
00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,417
At Lily and Marshall's
housewarming party
47
00:01:58,419 --> 00:02:01,954
for instance,
it only took five minutes.
48
00:02:01,956 --> 00:02:05,107
Now, a lot happened
in those five minutes.
49
00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:09,094
You know what? I'm gonna take
this room by room.
50
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,163
We'll start in the living room.
51
00:02:14,184 --> 00:02:15,801
Oh, no,
that's not what you want.
52
00:02:15,803 --> 00:02:17,970
- What?
- Oh, nothing. So, you think
53
00:02:17,972 --> 00:02:19,138
this is going pretty well?
54
00:02:19,140 --> 00:02:20,439
Baby, are you kidding?
55
00:02:20,441 --> 00:02:22,674
You single-handedly pulled off
the party of the year.
56
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,394
Oh, stop it.
I used both hands.
57
00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:26,845
So, what can I do to help?
58
00:02:26,847 --> 00:02:29,865
Honey, this is your first night
off in however long.
59
00:02:29,867 --> 00:02:32,735
You just relax and keep knocking
back those cocktails.
60
00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:34,236
Mr. Cootes.
61
00:02:34,238 --> 00:02:37,289
Hey, isn't it nice
to finally have a night off?
62
00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,408
It is.
But tonight is not that night.
63
00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:41,526
We're going back to the office
in 45 minutes.
64
00:02:41,527 --> 00:02:43,527
But, sir, this is
our housewarming party.
65
00:02:43,530 --> 00:02:46,031
You know,
Mother Earth is also having
66
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:48,417
a "housewarming" party, too,
67
00:02:48,419 --> 00:02:52,421
only hers ends with humankind
at the bottom of a rising ocean,
68
00:02:52,423 --> 00:02:55,257
passing through the digestive
tract of a stingray.
69
00:02:56,142 --> 00:02:57,893
By the way,
it's a lovely home.
70
00:02:57,895 --> 00:03:01,930
Mr. Cootes,
I know you're a vegan, so I, uh,
71
00:03:01,932 --> 00:03:05,267
I got some vegan spring rolls
for you over there.
72
00:03:05,269 --> 00:03:07,403
Oh, nummies!
73
00:03:08,855 --> 00:03:10,272
You're going
back to work?
74
00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:13,158
Sheez, Marshall,
you are as busy as a...
75
00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,745
Oh, gosh,
what are you as busy as?
76
00:03:16,747 --> 00:03:17,946
Please don't talk about
the bees.
77
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:19,331
I was gonna say Nicolas Cage.
78
00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:21,617
That guy is in everything.
79
00:03:21,619 --> 00:03:23,735
Let's just put on some music.
80
00:03:25,789 --> 00:03:27,840
♪
81
00:03:27,842 --> 00:03:29,675
I'll, uh, I'll bring out
the Gouda,
82
00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:32,077
we'll open a couple bottles
of wine...
83
00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,545
that are in the basement.
84
00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:35,564
All right, I'll get
my beekeeper's suit.
85
00:03:35,566 --> 00:03:37,216
You should be happy
about the bees.
86
00:03:37,218 --> 00:03:38,750
They're keeping
the mice at bay.
87
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:39,751
We have mice?
88
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:41,270
Not with all these bees
89
00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:42,521
flying around, we don't.
90
00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,473
You're welcome.
91
00:03:45,608 --> 00:03:47,976
Ted, baby Gouda's
coming out. Look alive.
92
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,732
Are you a vegan?
93
00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,150
What?
94
00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:56,652
Ooh-ee!
95
00:03:56,654 --> 00:03:59,405
Kitchen, now.
96
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,658
I can't believe that he's
making us go to work tonight.
97
00:04:02,660 --> 00:04:06,295
Are... you... a... vegan?
98
00:04:06,297 --> 00:04:08,247
Um, no.
99
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:10,749
Uh-huh.
And when you were shoveling
100
00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:13,669
the spring rolls down your
gullet, did you happen to notice
101
00:04:13,671 --> 00:04:16,305
a little sign next
to the plate marked "Vegan"?
102
00:04:16,307 --> 00:04:17,956
I think there's
been some mistake.
103
00:04:17,958 --> 00:04:21,126
You could have had anything
on that table!
104
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:22,845
Anything at all!
105
00:04:23,596 --> 00:04:26,398
Mini pizzas,
bacon-wrapped figs,
106
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:27,766
pigs in blankets.
107
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,651
There was even talk
of an inbound Gouda!
108
00:04:29,653 --> 00:04:32,271
But no, no, you had to have
the one thing
109
00:04:32,273 --> 00:04:34,940
that someone with my dietary
preferences can eat.
110
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:36,942
Look, I didn't eat
the spring rolls.
111
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:38,777
Liar!
112
00:04:38,779 --> 00:04:41,797
Your breath reeks of shredded
carrots and deceit!
113
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:48,487
Okay, okay, maybe I did eat
your precious spring rolls.
114
00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,588
Oh...
115
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:52,157
What are you gonna do
about it, hippie?
116
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:57,012
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
117
00:04:57,014 --> 00:04:59,465
Young man,
118
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:02,551
are you suggesting
fisticuffs...
119
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,669
as in with our fists?
120
00:05:04,671 --> 00:05:07,356
And feet--
I'm a kicker.
121
00:05:07,358 --> 00:05:10,609
Well, well, looks like
I just started eating
122
00:05:10,611 --> 00:05:12,478
white meat again.
123
00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,982
I will bite and scratch
you like a wolverine.
124
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,017
May I warn you,
125
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,287
I have been in
a fight before.
126
00:05:22,289 --> 00:05:24,540
So have I... sort of.
127
00:05:24,542 --> 00:05:26,708
Oh, God.
128
00:05:27,794 --> 00:05:29,828
Mr. Cootes. Hi.
129
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:32,531
Did you see that we had
hummus and veggies?
130
00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,633
There's hummus and veggies?
131
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:35,867
Over there.
132
00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:38,370
Hey, I'm not gonna let that guy
push me around.
133
00:05:38,372 --> 00:05:41,757
I believe it was Sun Tzu
who wrote, "Never give up.
134
00:05:41,759 --> 00:05:42,724
Never surrender."
135
00:05:42,726 --> 00:05:44,259
Shut up, Ted.
Okay.
136
00:05:44,261 --> 00:05:49,231
For God's sake, Lily,
you're pregnant.
137
00:05:49,233 --> 00:05:53,235
For God's sake, Ted,
Lily's pregnant.
138
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,506
Oh, man.
139
00:05:57,508 --> 00:05:59,224
Sorry about that.
140
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,076
I don't need
this right now, Ted.
141
00:06:01,078 --> 00:06:02,995
I shouldn't do this.
142
00:06:02,997 --> 00:06:04,229
- I shouldn't do this.
- What?
143
00:06:04,231 --> 00:06:07,416
This is a bad idea.
This is a bad idea!
144
00:06:07,418 --> 00:06:10,252
- What is?
- I should just go. I should just go!
145
00:06:10,254 --> 00:06:12,955
Okay, okay, just tell me
what is going on.
146
00:06:12,957 --> 00:06:15,541
I love my penis, Robin.
147
00:06:15,543 --> 00:06:17,843
Oh, Barney, you promised.
148
00:06:17,845 --> 00:06:20,345
I do! I love it!
149
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,548
If I could kiss it, I would.
150
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:25,267
I'd be lying if I told you
I hadn't tried.
151
00:06:25,269 --> 00:06:27,436
I'm not comfortable
with this conversation.
152
00:06:27,438 --> 00:06:31,256
Oh, come on, Robin, it's my
penis we're talking about.
153
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,475
- You've seen her-- she's magnificent.
- She?
154
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,445
Every penis is a girl, Robin.
Everyone knows that.
155
00:06:36,447 --> 00:06:41,533
Like... ships and lake monsters.
156
00:06:41,535 --> 00:06:43,602
And Gouda!
157
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,287
She's a beauta.
158
00:06:45,289 --> 00:06:46,538
Oh, Gouda.
159
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:48,773
Well, I'll be back.
160
00:06:48,775 --> 00:06:50,775
Most of me, anyway.
161
00:06:51,628 --> 00:06:53,245
- Don't eat that.
- What?
162
00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,247
Whoops! Oh, it's ruined.
163
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,666
It's not ruined.
Ten second rule.
164
00:06:57,668 --> 00:07:00,552
Eight, nine, ten,
and it's ruined.
165
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:02,471
This whole party's
ruined.
166
00:07:02,473 --> 00:07:05,457
I got a basement
full of bees,
167
00:07:05,459 --> 00:07:07,809
and Ted almost got into a fight
with Mr. Cootes.
168
00:07:07,811 --> 00:07:09,478
Lily, look around.
169
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,129
Everyone's having
an amazing time.
170
00:07:11,131 --> 00:07:12,331
It's a great party.
171
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:16,151
Okay, maybe it's not
a total disaster.
172
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:22,841
What the hell was that?!
173
00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:32,043
So that's what happened
in the living room.
174
00:07:33,288 --> 00:07:36,423
Now I'm gonna tell you what
happened in the dining room.
175
00:07:37,169 --> 00:07:39,837
Oh, no, that's not
what you want.
176
00:07:41,190 --> 00:07:43,742
Man, I can't believe
these are vegan.
177
00:07:43,744 --> 00:07:44,976
I've had, like, 20 of 'em.
178
00:07:44,978 --> 00:07:47,228
I should get the name
of this caterer.
179
00:07:47,230 --> 00:07:49,698
It's my kitten's
Bat Mitzvah next week.
180
00:07:49,700 --> 00:07:52,150
She's finally
becoming a cat.
181
00:07:52,152 --> 00:07:54,185
Oh, God, you are crazy.
182
00:07:54,187 --> 00:07:56,287
About cats.
183
00:07:56,289 --> 00:07:59,857
Cats are so honest and real
with their affections.
184
00:07:59,859 --> 00:08:01,076
Ever since my divorce,
185
00:08:01,078 --> 00:08:02,877
it's just been one liar
after another.
186
00:08:02,879 --> 00:08:06,197
That's why it's so refreshing
to meet someone honest like you,
187
00:08:06,199 --> 00:08:09,033
Special Agent Gary Powers.
188
00:08:09,035 --> 00:08:10,418
Listen...
189
00:08:10,420 --> 00:08:14,089
I think we can agree
there's something here.
190
00:08:14,091 --> 00:08:16,174
Something big...
191
00:08:16,176 --> 00:08:20,178
that looks
and probably feels real.
192
00:08:20,730 --> 00:08:22,564
Maybe...
193
00:08:22,566 --> 00:08:24,265
we can go back
to your place.
194
00:08:24,267 --> 00:08:27,218
I can't ask you to delay
intercepting those asteroids.
195
00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:29,571
I do need to intercept
those asteroids.
196
00:08:29,573 --> 00:08:31,439
I think we need
to have sex right now.
197
00:08:32,558 --> 00:08:35,560
Meet me in the upstairs guest
bedroom in two minutes.
198
00:08:38,397 --> 00:08:40,915
I'm just looking
for the vegan spring rolls.
199
00:08:40,917 --> 00:08:42,283
Last one, sorry.
200
00:08:42,285 --> 00:08:43,701
Two minutes.
201
00:08:43,703 --> 00:08:46,121
How can they all be gone?
The party just started.
202
00:08:46,123 --> 00:08:47,255
I know, right?
203
00:08:47,257 --> 00:08:49,591
Let's just put on
some music.
204
00:08:50,092 --> 00:08:51,909
♪
205
00:08:51,911 --> 00:08:53,545
I'll, uh, I'll bring out
the Gouda,
206
00:08:53,547 --> 00:08:55,746
we'll open a couple of bottles
of wine...
207
00:08:55,748 --> 00:08:57,348
that are in the basement.
208
00:08:57,350 --> 00:08:58,683
Some jerk was just here.
209
00:08:58,685 --> 00:09:00,018
And he was all, like,
210
00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:01,553
"I can't believe
these are vegan.
211
00:09:01,555 --> 00:09:02,720
I've had, like, 20 of 'em."
212
00:09:02,722 --> 00:09:05,940
Point me into the direction
of this scoundrel.
213
00:09:05,942 --> 00:09:08,693
Um... it was
that guy.
214
00:09:08,695 --> 00:09:11,546
Ted, baby Gouda's
coming out. Look alive.
215
00:09:12,431 --> 00:09:16,534
Lily, these spring rolls...
ooh-ee!
216
00:09:16,536 --> 00:09:18,903
Kitchen, now.
217
00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:22,040
I can't believe that he's
making us go to work tonight.
218
00:09:22,042 --> 00:09:23,908
I mean, I think it's time
that somebody took him aside
219
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,077
and told him this is not
how you treat your staff.
220
00:09:26,079 --> 00:09:29,330
Well, I'm sort of busy
with the party right now.
221
00:09:29,332 --> 00:09:31,449
Fine. I'll do it myself.
But he's gonna scream at me,
222
00:09:31,451 --> 00:09:33,134
and you know that I can't
stand up to screaming.
223
00:09:33,136 --> 00:09:35,453
Just go talk to him!
I think I should go talk to him.
224
00:09:37,923 --> 00:09:39,474
Barney...
Ah, Lily,
225
00:09:39,476 --> 00:09:41,676
Ted ate all of the spring rolls.
226
00:09:41,678 --> 00:09:43,895
You could have had
anything on that table!
227
00:09:43,897 --> 00:09:47,398
Mini pizzas,
bacon-wrapped figs,
228
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,433
pigs in blankets.
229
00:09:48,435 --> 00:09:51,469
There was even talk
of an inbound Gouda!
230
00:09:51,471 --> 00:09:53,471
Robin. Okay, listen,
I need your help.
231
00:09:53,473 --> 00:09:55,607
I'm about to get in
a screaming match with my boss,
232
00:09:55,609 --> 00:09:57,141
and I'm not good at getting
screamed at,
233
00:09:57,143 --> 00:09:58,660
so I need you to warm me up.
234
00:09:58,662 --> 00:10:00,445
How?
I want you to scream at me.
235
00:10:00,447 --> 00:10:02,664
You know, like you do
to strangers on the street
236
00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:04,082
at the slightest provocation.
237
00:10:04,084 --> 00:10:05,450
I don't do that.
238
00:10:05,452 --> 00:10:07,085
Come on, lay some of that
classic Scherbatsky
239
00:10:07,087 --> 00:10:08,586
mean son of a bitch on me.
240
00:10:08,588 --> 00:10:11,122
Treat me like I'm a Girl Scout
trying to sell you cookies.
241
00:10:11,124 --> 00:10:13,208
Four dollars a box
and you're out of Thin Mints?!
242
00:10:13,210 --> 00:10:16,628
You green little...!
I don't do that!
243
00:10:16,630 --> 00:10:18,129
Come on, scream at me.
244
00:10:18,131 --> 00:10:20,381
Like that.
245
00:10:20,383 --> 00:10:21,599
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
246
00:10:21,601 --> 00:10:23,935
Marshall, there is plenty
of stuff
247
00:10:23,937 --> 00:10:25,887
that I don't get mad about,
248
00:10:25,889 --> 00:10:28,172
like the fact that you're
serving pigs in blankets
249
00:10:28,174 --> 00:10:30,007
without hot mustard.
250
00:10:30,009 --> 00:10:32,977
I'm not the type of person
to be driven crazy by a host
251
00:10:32,979 --> 00:10:35,363
who refuses to provide
delicious hot mustard
252
00:10:35,365 --> 00:10:37,282
in which to dip
my pigs in blankets!
253
00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:39,350
I'm the type of girl who...
keeps her cool.
254
00:10:39,352 --> 00:10:41,319
Who keeps her cool.
255
00:10:42,854 --> 00:10:45,356
Wait. Whoa, baby,
are you okay?
256
00:10:45,358 --> 00:10:47,525
Of course.
This party is great.
257
00:10:47,527 --> 00:10:51,012
I am handling this.
Oh, God.
258
00:10:53,382 --> 00:10:55,416
No...
259
00:10:55,418 --> 00:10:56,668
Hummus and veggies?
260
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:59,387
I'm looking for
hummus and veggies.
261
00:10:59,389 --> 00:11:02,056
Robin, can I talk to you about
something very dear to me?
262
00:11:02,058 --> 00:11:03,925
Promise me this isn't
about your penis.
263
00:11:03,927 --> 00:11:06,327
I promise it isn't
about my penis.
264
00:11:06,329 --> 00:11:07,812
I'm sorry.
265
00:11:10,266 --> 00:11:13,001
Excuse me, sir, could I talk
to you in the kitchen?
266
00:11:19,108 --> 00:11:20,491
Sorry about that.
267
00:11:20,493 --> 00:11:22,110
I don't need this
right now, Ted.
268
00:11:22,112 --> 00:11:24,529
I swear, if there's
one more crisis...
269
00:11:24,531 --> 00:11:26,414
Well, the bees
escaped their enclosure,
270
00:11:26,416 --> 00:11:29,117
but no reason
to "bee" concerned.
271
00:11:31,171 --> 00:11:33,004
No, there is,
we're in big trouble.
272
00:11:33,006 --> 00:11:34,622
What is that smell?
273
00:11:34,624 --> 00:11:36,907
Oh, I doused my suit
with kerosene.
274
00:11:36,909 --> 00:11:38,576
All beekeepers do this.
275
00:11:38,578 --> 00:11:40,795
Dad, just take off
the suit right now.
276
00:11:40,797 --> 00:11:41,596
All right, fine.
277
00:11:41,598 --> 00:11:43,414
Every 30 seconds,
278
00:11:43,416 --> 00:11:45,600
there's another crisis
that needs to be dealt with
279
00:11:45,602 --> 00:11:47,268
and I have
to deal with it.
280
00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:50,021
This is... Oh, God.
281
00:11:50,023 --> 00:11:51,639
This is parenthood, isn't it?
282
00:11:51,641 --> 00:11:52,890
So they say.
283
00:11:52,892 --> 00:11:54,475
Okay, it's official.
284
00:11:54,477 --> 00:11:56,861
I thought I could do it,
but I can't.
285
00:11:56,863 --> 00:11:58,396
No, Marshall's always at work.
286
00:11:58,398 --> 00:11:59,864
He's got to go back tonight.
287
00:11:59,866 --> 00:12:01,816
And I don't know
if I can handle a life
288
00:12:01,818 --> 00:12:04,118
that's just one crisis
after another.
289
00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:06,437
Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna
give you a little piece of...
290
00:12:06,439 --> 00:12:07,789
Gouda!
291
00:12:07,791 --> 00:12:08,773
God.
292
00:12:08,775 --> 00:12:10,625
Crisis?
Crisis.
293
00:12:11,961 --> 00:12:14,128
- Don't eat that. Whoops!
- What?
294
00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:15,463
Gouda's out, Ted.
Don't sleep on the Gouda.
295
00:12:15,465 --> 00:12:16,664
Wouldn't dream of it.
296
00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:18,449
So Lily told me you have to go
back to work tonight?
297
00:12:18,451 --> 00:12:20,168
No, I don't have to go
back to work tonight.
298
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,586
Mr. Cootes and I
came to an understanding.
299
00:12:21,588 --> 00:12:22,971
But, hey, what's going on
with Robin?
300
00:12:22,973 --> 00:12:24,922
I called her
a mean son of a bitch
301
00:12:24,924 --> 00:12:26,123
and she took it all weird.
302
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:27,759
- She did?
- Yeah.
303
00:12:27,761 --> 00:12:28,943
Crazy, right?
304
00:12:29,478 --> 00:12:30,678
Hey, buddy.
305
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:32,347
Best housewarming
party ever.
306
00:12:32,349 --> 00:12:34,799
Everybody's abuzz.
307
00:12:34,801 --> 00:12:36,300
Abuzz.
308
00:12:36,302 --> 00:12:37,852
Oh, good one, Mickey.
309
00:12:37,854 --> 00:12:39,153
But, hey, you're right.
310
00:12:39,155 --> 00:12:41,139
Great party.
311
00:12:47,997 --> 00:12:51,199
What the hell
was that?!
312
00:12:56,424 --> 00:12:58,507
And that's what happened
in the dining room.
313
00:13:00,084 --> 00:13:03,252
Now I'm gonna tell you
what happened in the kitchen.
314
00:13:04,045 --> 00:13:07,064
Oh, no, that's not
what you want.
315
00:13:07,066 --> 00:13:09,500
Man, I can't believe
these are vegan.
316
00:13:09,502 --> 00:13:10,701
Back to our fight?
317
00:13:10,703 --> 00:13:12,152
Back to our fight.
318
00:13:12,154 --> 00:13:14,471
I cannot believe you screamed
at that woman at Zabar's.
319
00:13:14,473 --> 00:13:15,839
She was trying to cut in line.
320
00:13:15,841 --> 00:13:17,324
She was gonna get
the last kugel.
321
00:13:17,326 --> 00:13:18,542
She was 90 years old.
322
00:13:18,544 --> 00:13:20,678
It was probably gonna be
her last kugel.
323
00:13:20,680 --> 00:13:22,513
Sometimes in life,
you have to be assertive
324
00:13:22,515 --> 00:13:23,830
and stand up for yourself.
325
00:13:23,832 --> 00:13:25,165
You called her a whore.
326
00:13:25,167 --> 00:13:26,633
Who wears that much makeup?!
327
00:13:26,635 --> 00:13:27,601
Old ladies!
328
00:13:27,603 --> 00:13:29,720
Who take money for sex. Exactly.
329
00:13:30,772 --> 00:13:32,106
Look, I'm sorry.
330
00:13:32,108 --> 00:13:34,841
If I would've left things
in your dainty, lily-white,
331
00:13:34,843 --> 00:13:36,727
never-ripped-
an-old-lady's-wig-off hands,
332
00:13:36,729 --> 00:13:38,779
we would be kugel-free
right now.
333
00:13:38,781 --> 00:13:40,447
Oh, so, what, I'm too nice?
334
00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:42,032
You never stand up for yourself.
335
00:13:42,034 --> 00:13:44,485
Remember that sixth grader
who kept stealing your lunch?
336
00:13:44,487 --> 00:13:47,321
High school was
a tough time for me, okay?
337
00:13:47,323 --> 00:13:48,906
And that girl was muscular.
338
00:13:48,908 --> 00:13:50,574
Forearms like Popeye.
339
00:13:50,576 --> 00:13:52,209
How do you even know about that?
340
00:13:52,211 --> 00:13:54,495
Marshall told me.
He also said that
341
00:13:54,497 --> 00:13:55,913
you had your mom stop making
342
00:13:55,915 --> 00:13:57,464
peanut butter
and jelly sandwiches
343
00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:59,199
because of that girl's
nut allergy.
344
00:13:59,201 --> 00:14:00,918
I didn't want to add
to her health problems.
345
00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,219
She was already in a wheelchair.
346
00:14:02,221 --> 00:14:03,870
Okay, so what?
347
00:14:03,872 --> 00:14:06,706
I would rather be nice
than be like you,
348
00:14:06,708 --> 00:14:08,392
always getting in fights
about stuff
349
00:14:08,394 --> 00:14:09,843
that's not even worth
fighting about.
350
00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:11,044
Disagree.
351
00:14:11,046 --> 00:14:13,564
It's like Sun Tzu wrote
in The Art of War,
352
00:14:13,566 --> 00:14:15,599
"Never give up.
Never surrender."
353
00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:17,401
That was Tim Allen
in Galaxy Quest.
354
00:14:17,403 --> 00:14:18,552
Whatever, dude.
355
00:14:18,554 --> 00:14:20,571
Your problem is any time
you're faced with
356
00:14:20,573 --> 00:14:22,606
the least bit of confrontation,
you run away.
357
00:14:22,608 --> 00:14:25,175
Oh, I run away
from confrontation?
358
00:14:29,030 --> 00:14:31,365
Ted, baby Gouda's
coming out.
359
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:32,716
Look alive.
360
00:14:34,185 --> 00:14:35,753
Whoops.
Son of a...!
361
00:14:35,755 --> 00:14:37,404
I'm sorry.
362
00:14:37,406 --> 00:14:39,123
Maybe that was my fault.
363
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:40,290
You think?
364
00:14:40,292 --> 00:14:41,675
You're right in my snack track.
365
00:14:41,677 --> 00:14:44,128
Hey, nice
beekeeper suit.
366
00:14:44,130 --> 00:14:47,247
Do you know that, uh,
most bees are left-handed?
367
00:14:47,249 --> 00:14:49,716
Did you know bees hate
the smell of kerosene?
368
00:14:49,718 --> 00:14:51,385
I knew that.
Geez, what do you think,
369
00:14:51,387 --> 00:14:53,303
this is my first day
as a beekeeper?
370
00:14:54,222 --> 00:14:55,973
Nice. Oh.
371
00:14:55,975 --> 00:14:58,642
Is that true about
bees and kerosene?
372
00:14:58,644 --> 00:15:00,260
I don't know.
373
00:15:00,262 --> 00:15:01,645
Barney...
374
00:15:01,647 --> 00:15:02,646
Ah, Lily,
375
00:15:02,648 --> 00:15:04,815
Ted ate all of the spring rolls.
376
00:15:04,817 --> 00:15:06,650
Barney, that woman
you were talking to,
377
00:15:06,652 --> 00:15:07,618
our neighbor Geraldine,
378
00:15:07,620 --> 00:15:09,219
some guy
slept with her
379
00:15:09,221 --> 00:15:12,322
and didn't call her,
so she hunted him down
380
00:15:12,324 --> 00:15:17,127
and cut off a certain part of
his anatomy with a cheese knife.
381
00:15:17,913 --> 00:15:19,580
So, whatever you do,
382
00:15:19,582 --> 00:15:21,081
don't sleep with her.
383
00:15:21,083 --> 00:15:24,918
It's funny, she is,
um, waiting for me
384
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,720
in the guest bedroom right now.
385
00:15:26,722 --> 00:15:28,622
Oh, God! Oh, God!
386
00:15:28,624 --> 00:15:31,141
That was the idea,
but now forget it!
387
00:15:31,143 --> 00:15:32,426
Barney, this is a disaster.
388
00:15:32,428 --> 00:15:34,812
I swear, if there
is one...
389
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:36,963
It's fine. Everything's fine.
390
00:15:36,965 --> 00:15:38,482
Hey, ten second
rule, right?
391
00:15:40,519 --> 00:15:42,936
It's fine.
Everything's fine.
392
00:15:42,938 --> 00:15:45,439
Shoo! Shoo! Shoo!
393
00:15:45,441 --> 00:15:47,991
I know you're pregnant, but
you need a glass of wine.
394
00:15:47,993 --> 00:15:49,809
I got that cheese off
the Internet.
395
00:15:49,811 --> 00:15:51,245
I know you got it
off the Internet.
396
00:15:51,247 --> 00:15:52,579
Why does that
make it impressive?
397
00:15:52,581 --> 00:15:54,665
You know what else you can find
on the Internet?
398
00:15:54,667 --> 00:15:56,366
Zoo animals masturbating.
399
00:15:57,118 --> 00:15:58,168
There's one of a walrus.
400
00:15:58,170 --> 00:15:59,319
He's...
401
00:15:59,321 --> 00:16:01,505
Oh.
402
00:16:13,601 --> 00:16:15,552
No...
403
00:16:18,641 --> 00:16:20,774
Excuse me, sir, could I talk
to you in the kitchen?
404
00:16:28,951 --> 00:16:33,353
Mr. Cootes, I am not
going back to work tonight.
405
00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:35,239
Oh, no, she didn't
just say that.
406
00:16:36,208 --> 00:16:37,824
Mickey, could we just
have a minute?
407
00:16:37,826 --> 00:16:40,244
Oh, yeah. Sure.
408
00:16:41,713 --> 00:16:45,465
Marshall, look, I know
when you started with this firm,
409
00:16:45,467 --> 00:16:47,167
it was all fun and games.
410
00:16:47,169 --> 00:16:50,971
The office chair races
were particularly spirited.
411
00:16:50,973 --> 00:16:54,308
Until, of course,
Gail went down the stairs.
412
00:16:54,310 --> 00:16:55,976
But for one brief moment,
413
00:16:55,978 --> 00:16:58,512
boy, did she fly.
414
00:17:00,349 --> 00:17:02,599
I'm not here, I'm not here.
415
00:17:02,601 --> 00:17:04,935
Mr. Cootes, you're working
yourself to death.
416
00:17:04,937 --> 00:17:07,387
Just cut loose a little.
417
00:17:07,389 --> 00:17:09,856
Have a beer, find a hobby.
418
00:17:09,858 --> 00:17:11,742
Look, son, it's very simple.
419
00:17:11,744 --> 00:17:14,561
Um, Mother Earth
doesn't get a night off.
420
00:17:14,563 --> 00:17:15,779
Neither do you.
421
00:17:15,781 --> 00:17:17,164
Well, then I quit.
422
00:17:20,718 --> 00:17:23,503
And I don't know
if I can handle a life
423
00:17:23,505 --> 00:17:25,422
that's just one crisis
after another.
424
00:17:25,424 --> 00:17:27,708
Lily, listen to me. I'm gonna
give you a little piece of...
425
00:17:27,710 --> 00:17:29,042
Gouda!
426
00:17:29,044 --> 00:17:30,010
Maybe he's right.
427
00:17:30,012 --> 00:17:32,296
Maybe I do
need a hobby.
428
00:17:32,298 --> 00:17:33,931
Well, hey,
how about beekeeping?
429
00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:37,017
Me? No. I-I don't know the
first thing about bees.
430
00:17:37,019 --> 00:17:39,303
You want to know a secret?
431
00:17:39,305 --> 00:17:40,671
Neither do I.
432
00:17:40,673 --> 00:17:43,023
It's not a secret.
433
00:17:43,942 --> 00:17:45,058
Let me try this thing on.
434
00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:46,443
I'm gonna give you
some privacy.
435
00:17:46,445 --> 00:17:48,278
All right, thank you.
436
00:17:48,280 --> 00:17:49,529
Okay.
437
00:17:49,531 --> 00:17:50,981
Hey, buddy.
438
00:17:50,983 --> 00:17:52,816
Best housewarming
party ever.
439
00:17:52,818 --> 00:17:54,534
Everybody's abuzz.
440
00:17:57,022 --> 00:17:59,623
Okay, maybe it's not
a total disaster.
441
00:17:59,625 --> 00:18:00,791
Great party.
442
00:18:12,953 --> 00:18:15,055
Oh, my God. Oh!
443
00:18:15,057 --> 00:18:16,306
Oh, Mr. Cootes!
444
00:18:16,308 --> 00:18:17,674
Mr. Cootes, are you okay?!
445
00:18:17,676 --> 00:18:21,061
That was amazing!
446
00:18:21,063 --> 00:18:22,262
Did you see me?!
447
00:18:22,264 --> 00:18:24,648
I flew through the air
like a human fireball
448
00:18:24,650 --> 00:18:25,932
and didn't get a scratch.
449
00:18:25,934 --> 00:18:27,484
Eat your heart out, Gail!
450
00:18:28,470 --> 00:18:30,970
God, I feel so alive!
451
00:18:30,972 --> 00:18:32,572
I want to drink a beer.
452
00:18:32,574 --> 00:18:33,690
Oh, yeah.
453
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:35,242
Okay, one beer, coming right up.
454
00:18:35,244 --> 00:18:37,995
Oh, and, uh, Marshall,
455
00:18:37,997 --> 00:18:41,648
I think we'll take
the night off tonight, okay?
456
00:18:41,650 --> 00:18:43,417
Sounds good, yeah.
457
00:18:43,419 --> 00:18:45,535
But I'll see you Monday?
458
00:18:45,537 --> 00:18:47,788
Of course.
459
00:18:47,790 --> 00:18:48,789
Yeah.
460
00:18:50,459 --> 00:18:54,127
You know, Robin, I've
been thinking about it.
461
00:18:54,129 --> 00:18:56,763
Guess it's kind of nice
you're such a badass.
462
00:18:56,765 --> 00:19:00,434
It's pretty badass
you're so nice, Ted.
463
00:19:02,336 --> 00:19:06,890
Was I supposed to close
the basement door?
464
00:19:18,655 --> 00:19:20,655
God, this feels
so right!
465
00:19:20,657 --> 00:19:22,073
We're so great together.
466
00:19:22,075 --> 00:19:24,542
I want to spend every minute
of every day with you.
467
00:19:24,544 --> 00:19:26,411
I never let you out of
my sight for one second.
468
00:19:26,413 --> 00:19:28,079
Not one second, not
one second. I don't!
469
00:19:28,081 --> 00:19:30,381
Oh, God!
470
00:19:30,383 --> 00:19:31,582
My last lover was not like this.
471
00:19:31,584 --> 00:19:33,084
He was the worst!
472
00:19:33,086 --> 00:19:36,220
Do you know, he didn't even
come to my cat's bris.
473
00:19:36,222 --> 00:19:37,839
I mean, what?
474
00:19:37,841 --> 00:19:39,207
Well, we showed him.
475
00:19:39,209 --> 00:19:40,425
Yes, we did.
476
00:19:40,427 --> 00:19:43,544
Let's just say, the
punishment fit the crime.
477
00:19:43,546 --> 00:19:45,012
I can't wait to
tell everybody
478
00:19:45,014 --> 00:19:46,564
that we're boyfriend and girlfriend!
479
00:19:46,566 --> 00:19:47,715
Let's do it tonight.
480
00:19:47,717 --> 00:19:49,067
No, it's Lily and
Marshall's party.
481
00:19:49,069 --> 00:19:50,384
We'll wait.
482
00:19:50,386 --> 00:19:53,521
We can do it at Mittens
and Mr. Pepper's wedding.
483
00:19:53,523 --> 00:19:55,055
Or maybe something...
34480
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