Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,195 --> 00:00:05,080
Kids, in October 2011,your Aunt Robin was in therapy.
2
00:00:05,081 --> 00:00:07,614
And against all logic,it was actually going well.
3
00:00:07,971 --> 00:00:09,337
But why?
4
00:00:09,339 --> 00:00:12,140
Why-why am I constantly looking
for reasons not to be happy?
5
00:00:12,142 --> 00:00:15,227
Maybe because the idea of
finally being happy...
6
00:00:15,229 --> 00:00:16,928
terrifies you.
7
00:00:16,930 --> 00:00:20,115
Bro, you are killing it today.
8
00:00:20,117 --> 00:00:21,766
Pshh!
9
00:00:22,952 --> 00:00:24,319
We got something good here.
10
00:00:24,321 --> 00:00:26,771
We are totes gonna conquer
my fear of abandonment!
11
00:00:26,773 --> 00:00:28,206
I can't see you anymore.
12
00:00:28,208 --> 00:00:30,375
Nice.
13
00:00:30,377 --> 00:00:32,410
"Oh, no! You're
abandoning me!"
14
00:00:33,246 --> 00:00:35,446
Oh, no. You're abandoning me?
15
00:00:35,448 --> 00:00:38,383
I'm sorry.
I'm moving to Alaska.
16
00:00:38,385 --> 00:00:41,837
And that might havebeen the end of it.
17
00:00:41,839 --> 00:00:43,088
But a week later...
18
00:00:43,090 --> 00:00:45,140
Kevin?!
19
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:47,309
What are you doing here?
20
00:00:47,311 --> 00:00:51,596
Okay, look, I lied to you
about moving to Alaska.
21
00:00:51,598 --> 00:00:53,765
I-I had to stop seeing you.
22
00:00:53,767 --> 00:00:55,050
Why?
23
00:00:55,052 --> 00:00:57,369
'Cause I think you're cute.
24
00:00:57,371 --> 00:00:59,204
And ethically,
I can't be your therapist
25
00:00:59,206 --> 00:01:01,039
if I'm attracted to you.
26
00:01:01,041 --> 00:01:03,641
Oh, I get it. You dump me
as a patient
27
00:01:03,643 --> 00:01:05,327
just so you can ask me out?
28
00:01:05,329 --> 00:01:06,461
I'm not gonna ask you out.
29
00:01:06,463 --> 00:01:07,796
You're not?
30
00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:10,632
No. We met in therapy.
31
00:01:10,634 --> 00:01:13,401
It's inappropriate for me
to date a patient.
32
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:16,521
Anyway, it was nice seeing you.
33
00:01:17,340 --> 00:01:20,325
Hey, wait.
34
00:01:20,327 --> 00:01:21,826
How do you define "date"?
35
00:01:21,828 --> 00:01:24,963
Two people having a meal
together,
36
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:26,014
sitting across the table
37
00:01:26,016 --> 00:01:27,465
making googly eyes
at each other...
38
00:01:27,467 --> 00:01:31,803
What about two people eating
alone, sitting side by side,
39
00:01:31,805 --> 00:01:35,006
making googly eyes
at the coffee maker?
40
00:01:35,008 --> 00:01:37,526
Okay, it's not a date.
41
00:01:37,528 --> 00:01:38,944
Exactly. Not a date.
42
00:01:38,946 --> 00:01:41,813
And so Robin and Kevin hadbreakfast alone,
43
00:01:41,815 --> 00:01:46,234
side by sideevery day that week.
44
00:01:47,770 --> 00:01:49,204
Until finally...
45
00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,527
Oh, hey!
46
00:01:55,529 --> 00:01:57,329
Sorry. No cabs.
47
00:01:57,331 --> 00:01:59,030
Ran 40 blocks
all the way here.
48
00:01:59,032 --> 00:02:00,382
May have knocked an old lady
49
00:02:00,384 --> 00:02:02,033
into the street,
don't know, I didn't look back.
50
00:02:02,035 --> 00:02:03,084
Let's just go on a real date.
51
00:02:03,086 --> 00:02:04,753
Yeah, that might be a good idea.
52
00:02:04,755 --> 00:02:06,221
Finally!
53
00:02:08,413 --> 00:02:12,413
♪ How I Met Your Mother 7x05 ♪
Field Trip
Original Air Date on October 10, 2011
54
00:02:12,414 --> 00:02:15,914
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
55
00:02:15,939 --> 00:02:21,321
♪
56
00:02:21,424 --> 00:02:23,408
Oh, I can't wait
to see that movie.
57
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,376
Is it good?
58
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:25,594
Awesome. Wait, totally
hypothetically,
59
00:02:25,596 --> 00:02:28,046
do you like movies with a
shocking twist where all
60
00:02:28,048 --> 00:02:29,765
the main characters die
at the end?
61
00:02:29,767 --> 00:02:30,883
Yes.
62
00:02:30,885 --> 00:02:32,184
You will love this movie.
63
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,519
Hey, guys.
64
00:02:33,521 --> 00:02:34,770
Hey, Marshall.
What's up?
65
00:02:34,772 --> 00:02:36,438
Well, I'll tell you what's up.
66
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:38,624
You know how my boss,
Garrison Cootes, is,
67
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:40,559
like, the most famous
environmental lawyer
68
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,376
in the world?
69
00:02:41,378 --> 00:02:43,028
Yeah...
70
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:46,398
I mean, it's him
or the other guy.
71
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,733
Sir Anthony Howel?
72
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,119
Yeah...
73
00:02:50,121 --> 00:02:52,237
Anyway, he's an important guy,
okay?
74
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,806
And so today at work,
75
00:02:53,808 --> 00:02:55,958
I was trying to show him
that I'm tough.
76
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:57,793
I've been thinking
about this
77
00:02:57,795 --> 00:02:59,044
settlement offer we're about
78
00:02:59,046 --> 00:03:01,130
to get from Gruber
Pharmaceuticals.
79
00:03:01,132 --> 00:03:03,048
If it's anything less
than $20 million,
80
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,115
then I'm gonna grab
81
00:03:04,117 --> 00:03:06,885
those corporate Earth rapists
by their...
82
00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,887
Okay, I'm just gonna
say something.
83
00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,806
I'm growing a child
in my belly,
84
00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:12,724
a child that just
developed ears.
85
00:03:12,726 --> 00:03:15,394
This is a very
thin sweater.
86
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,146
So please, if you must
tell your story...
87
00:03:17,148 --> 00:03:18,764
just make it
cheerful.
88
00:03:18,766 --> 00:03:20,382
Cheerful.
89
00:03:20,384 --> 00:03:22,518
Okay...
90
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,236
Then I'm gonna grab those
corporate...
91
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:25,671
employees...
92
00:03:25,673 --> 00:03:27,639
by their sweaty, dangling...
93
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:28,657
hands...
94
00:03:28,659 --> 00:03:31,309
and squeeze until those greedy
sons of...
95
00:03:31,311 --> 00:03:33,612
parents... realize that
I'm the baddest mother...
96
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:36,498
nature lover around.
97
00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:39,334
It's like watching
The Breakfast Club on TBS.
98
00:03:39,336 --> 00:03:41,253
So what did he say?
99
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:45,924
Marshall, bend down so I
can put my arm around you.
100
00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,043
That's all the way down.
That's good.
101
00:03:48,045 --> 00:03:50,012
Gruber Pharmaceuticals
is a company full
102
00:03:50,014 --> 00:03:51,964
of well-meaning people
doing their jobs,
103
00:03:51,966 --> 00:03:54,049
just like you and me.
104
00:03:54,051 --> 00:03:56,802
Guys, I'm afraid that Garrison
Cootes has gone soft!
105
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:58,804
He's like a teddy bear!
106
00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:01,390
A teddy bear
or an Ewok?
107
00:04:01,392 --> 00:04:03,559
You know, cute and cuddly
around the village,
108
00:04:03,561 --> 00:04:05,477
but once the battle starts...
109
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,864
He'll smash in your metal skull
with giant swinging logs.
110
00:04:08,866 --> 00:04:09,982
Marshall!
111
00:04:09,984 --> 00:04:11,233
Okay, he'll hug you
112
00:04:11,235 --> 00:04:13,652
until you agree to peaceably
shut down the Death Star.
113
00:04:13,654 --> 00:04:14,853
Hi, sweetie.
114
00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:15,971
Hey.
115
00:04:15,973 --> 00:04:17,689
What are we
all talking about?
116
00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:18,807
Ewoks.
117
00:04:18,809 --> 00:04:20,075
Ugh, I hate the Ewoks.
118
00:04:20,077 --> 00:04:22,294
The only good
thing about Ewoks in that movie?
119
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,195
You got to see some of them die.
120
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:26,832
Well, I fancy a pint.
121
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:29,801
Nora hates Ewoks.
122
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,703
Well, I have
to break up with her.
123
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:33,739
Be gentle
when you tell her, guys.
124
00:04:33,741 --> 00:04:36,341
I'll call you from Vegas.
Tell me how it went. Okay.
125
00:04:36,343 --> 00:04:37,309
Okay, Barney!
126
00:04:37,311 --> 00:04:38,376
Sit down!
127
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,711
Not liking Ewoks
128
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:42,231
is no reason not
to date somebody.
129
00:04:42,233 --> 00:04:44,816
Yeah, I mean, who knows
what the rules are, ya know?
130
00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:47,486
I mean, you're dating
a girl who doesn't like Ewoks,
131
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,387
I'm dating my former
therapist.
132
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:50,439
- Oh!
- Eww!
133
00:04:50,441 --> 00:04:52,274
We are
gentlemen of Harvard!
134
00:04:52,276 --> 00:04:53,708
It's not a big deal!
135
00:04:53,733 --> 00:04:55,521
Robin, if you asked
a hundred people,
136
00:04:55,522 --> 00:04:57,365
"Who's the worst person
you could possibly date?"
137
00:04:57,397 --> 00:04:58,947
they'd all say,
"Your therapist."
138
00:04:58,949 --> 00:05:00,699
Except the ones
saying "Barney."
139
00:05:00,701 --> 00:05:03,085
Hey! Yeah, that tracks.
140
00:05:03,087 --> 00:05:04,903
Well, I should
get going.
141
00:05:04,905 --> 00:05:06,755
I got the big field
trip tomorrow.
142
00:05:06,757 --> 00:05:07,623
Field trip?
143
00:05:07,625 --> 00:05:08,457
Yeah. I'm taking
144
00:05:08,459 --> 00:05:09,625
my Intro to
Architecture class
145
00:05:09,627 --> 00:05:11,176
to the GNB Tower
construction site.
146
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:12,594
I'm trying to get
them interested
147
00:05:12,596 --> 00:05:14,179
in architecture
as a career.
148
00:05:14,181 --> 00:05:16,247
Why? Are we running out
of buildings?
149
00:05:16,249 --> 00:05:17,716
Are we running out
of boring people?
150
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,468
Guys, this is
a big deal, okay?
151
00:05:19,470 --> 00:05:21,603
If I can get just
one kid interested in
152
00:05:21,605 --> 00:05:22,754
becoming an architect...
153
00:05:22,756 --> 00:05:25,274
Okay, I'm just gonna stop
you right there.
154
00:05:25,276 --> 00:05:27,309
Ted, it's an Intro class.
155
00:05:27,311 --> 00:05:29,513
Yeah, don't try to
Stand and Deliver
156
00:05:29,514 --> 00:05:30,262
an Intro class.
157
00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:33,315
Nobody takes an Intro class
to get on any other path
158
00:05:33,317 --> 00:05:36,068
but the path to not
being hungover anymore.
159
00:05:36,070 --> 00:05:40,155
I learned that in my Intro
to something-ology class.
160
00:05:40,157 --> 00:05:42,574
Well that's fine for
something-ology,
161
00:05:42,576 --> 00:05:44,876
but tomorrow
at 9:00 a.m. sharp
162
00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:48,080
Intro to Architecture is
going on a field trip!
163
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,464
All 200 of 'em.
164
00:05:49,466 --> 00:05:50,482
Well, it's 9:45.
165
00:05:50,484 --> 00:05:53,051
I guess the other 170
of you got lost,
166
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:54,419
so we'll just start.
167
00:05:54,421 --> 00:05:57,923
Now, some might say you guys are
just taking this class
168
00:05:57,925 --> 00:06:01,393
because it's easy or because
you've confused architecture
169
00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,178
with archaeology and think
we're gonna do
170
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,963
some cool
Indiana Jones stuff today.
171
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:06,765
But I think that...
172
00:06:09,152 --> 00:06:13,488
I think just maybe, we got some
future architects in the house.
173
00:06:13,490 --> 00:06:18,110
Show of hands: who's thinking
about a career in architecture?
174
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:23,031
Well, today,
all that's gonna change.
175
00:06:23,033 --> 00:06:24,983
Follow me.
176
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,370
Hey. Uh, sorry,
177
00:06:28,372 --> 00:06:30,272
nobody gets in here
without a site pass.
178
00:06:30,274 --> 00:06:33,875
It's okay, I'm Ted Mosby, the
architect of this building.
179
00:06:33,877 --> 00:06:36,294
I don't care if you're the
archaeologist of this building.
180
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:37,429
Site's closed.
181
00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:44,653
Moving on!
182
00:06:46,338 --> 00:06:47,622
That morning, Marshall's firm
183
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:49,274
was gettingthe settlement offer
184
00:06:49,276 --> 00:06:51,727
from Gruber Pharmaceuticals,and Marshall couldn't wait
185
00:06:51,729 --> 00:06:54,780
to see the teddybearturn into an Ewok.
186
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:58,683
Gruber Pharmaceuticals dumped
toxic waste into Frog Creek,
187
00:06:58,685 --> 00:07:01,370
a tributary of the Trout River
that feeds into Clearwater Lake.
188
00:07:01,372 --> 00:07:04,539
All three of which
now need new names.
189
00:07:05,541 --> 00:07:10,361
So it's time to win one
for Mother Earth.
190
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:12,581
Let's take out the trash,
shall we?!
191
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:14,833
- Yes!
- All right, everyone grab a bag.
192
00:07:14,835 --> 00:07:16,635
Blue is recycling,
green, compost.
193
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:18,637
There we go.
194
00:07:20,006 --> 00:07:21,706
Sheila...
195
00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:23,825
we're ready to hear your offer.
196
00:07:33,019 --> 00:07:37,489
$24,000?
197
00:07:42,610 --> 00:07:45,279
Yeah , that seems reasonable.
198
00:07:48,478 --> 00:07:50,342
Kids, Iwas wandering the city
199
00:07:50,343 --> 00:07:52,324
with 25 Intro to Architecturestudents
200
00:07:52,325 --> 00:07:54,359
when your Uncle Barneycame to my rescue.
201
00:07:54,361 --> 00:07:57,996
Okay, guys, seeing a building
get built, not that exciting.
202
00:07:57,998 --> 00:08:00,698
What's really exciting is the
financial side of...
203
00:08:00,700 --> 00:08:02,166
Sit down, Ted, I got this.
204
00:08:02,168 --> 00:08:05,420
Hey, Weird Beard, lights!
205
00:08:05,422 --> 00:08:07,705
College...
it's a confusing time.
206
00:08:07,707 --> 00:08:08,806
Oh, no.
207
00:08:08,808 --> 00:08:12,527
Studies show that 83% of all
college students
208
00:08:12,529 --> 00:08:14,562
desperately need...
209
00:08:14,564 --> 00:08:16,548
sex lessons!
210
00:08:16,550 --> 00:08:18,433
Lights!
211
00:08:18,435 --> 00:08:20,585
Barney, these are
18-year-olds!
212
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:23,921
Ted, these are 18-year-olds!
213
00:08:23,923 --> 00:08:26,257
You have a girlfriend.
214
00:08:26,259 --> 00:08:27,475
But she doesn't like Ewoks!
215
00:08:27,477 --> 00:08:28,359
So what?
216
00:08:28,361 --> 00:08:32,447
So what?!
Bieber, lights!
217
00:08:32,449 --> 00:08:37,986
In 1983, George Lucas introduced
the world to the Ewoks,
218
00:08:37,988 --> 00:08:41,723
a race of creatures indigenous
to the second moon of Endor.
219
00:08:41,725 --> 00:08:43,725
Now, the Ewoks have
a rich back-story
220
00:08:43,727 --> 00:08:45,126
that the movie didn't
really go into.
221
00:08:45,128 --> 00:08:46,294
Barney, why don't
you just skip
222
00:08:46,296 --> 00:08:48,379
to the part
about you and Nora?
223
00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:50,131
Fine.
224
00:08:59,558 --> 00:09:00,958
Ah, yes.
225
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:05,229
Ultimately, Ewoks split StarWars fandom into two camps:
226
00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:10,318
those born before, and those
born after May 25, 1973:
227
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,521
the Ewok Line.
228
00:09:13,523 --> 00:09:16,608
Anyone born on this side
of the Ewok Line was
229
00:09:16,610 --> 00:09:19,010
at least ten years
old when Jedi came out,
230
00:09:19,012 --> 00:09:23,314
and thus too old for something
so cloying and cute.
231
00:09:23,316 --> 00:09:30,254
Anyone born on this side
loved the Ewoks because, why?
232
00:09:31,373 --> 00:09:33,291
They reminded you of...
233
00:09:33,293 --> 00:09:34,375
Our teddies?
234
00:09:34,377 --> 00:09:36,844
They reminded you
of your teddies.
235
00:09:36,846 --> 00:09:38,680
Thank you, Gina.
236
00:09:38,682 --> 00:09:40,465
How do you know her name?
237
00:09:40,467 --> 00:09:45,002
And so... by the immutable laws
of the Ewok Line,
238
00:09:45,004 --> 00:09:49,474
my 29-year-old girlfriend
who hates Ewoks
239
00:09:49,476 --> 00:09:55,196
must in fact be
no younger than... 37.
240
00:09:55,198 --> 00:09:57,482
That's only a year younger
than Will's mom.
241
00:09:57,484 --> 00:09:59,701
How do you know my mom?
Class dismissed!
242
00:09:59,703 --> 00:10:01,202
I need to be alone.
243
00:10:01,204 --> 00:10:02,687
All right, we're moving on.
244
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,072
Ooh, can I come?
245
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:06,157
Hey, baby.
246
00:10:06,159 --> 00:10:09,661
Hey, I just want to remind you
we have Dr. Sonya at 4:00.
247
00:10:09,663 --> 00:10:12,363
I'll be there. I'm sorry.
I'm just... I'm bummed.
248
00:10:12,365 --> 00:10:14,916
We got
our settlement offer today:
249
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:18,202
$24,000 from
a billion-dollar company.
250
00:10:18,204 --> 00:10:20,655
Wow. I take it people aren't
happy about that.
251
00:10:20,657 --> 00:10:23,708
We won! Champagne and cake
for everybody!
252
00:10:23,710 --> 00:10:24,842
They're celebrating.
253
00:10:24,844 --> 00:10:25,843
I mean, it's crazy.
254
00:10:25,845 --> 00:10:28,312
We have no right
to be eating cake.
255
00:10:28,314 --> 00:10:30,732
There's cake?! I'm on my way!
256
00:10:30,734 --> 00:10:34,218
Meanwhile, the worst field tripof all time was still trucking.
257
00:10:34,220 --> 00:10:37,188
All right, this, this is
exciting, okay?
258
00:10:37,190 --> 00:10:38,573
This is the very room
259
00:10:38,575 --> 00:10:41,025
where I had the idea
for the GNB Tower.
260
00:10:41,027 --> 00:10:43,894
Now, Webster's defines
"inspiration" as...
261
00:10:43,896 --> 00:10:46,581
Hold on.
It's still loading.
262
00:10:46,583 --> 00:10:47,582
Uh, hey, roomie.
263
00:10:47,584 --> 00:10:50,284
Robin! Hey,
what are you doing here?
264
00:10:50,286 --> 00:10:53,037
Well, I was about
to get my swerve on.
265
00:10:53,039 --> 00:10:54,922
You were?
266
00:10:54,924 --> 00:10:57,341
So you're the therapist.
267
00:10:57,343 --> 00:11:00,461
You know, it's one thing
to pretend to be a shrink
268
00:11:00,463 --> 00:11:02,513
and bang your patients.
That's normal.
269
00:11:02,515 --> 00:11:06,217
But to do it for real?
A little creepy, bro.
270
00:11:06,219 --> 00:11:07,802
Okay, it's not creepy.
271
00:11:07,804 --> 00:11:09,887
Ehhhh... it's creepy.
272
00:11:09,889 --> 00:11:11,723
Class, show of hands:
273
00:11:11,725 --> 00:11:14,592
Who thinks it's creepy
to date your therapist?
274
00:11:14,594 --> 00:11:16,227
- Pollstered.
- Get out!
275
00:11:16,229 --> 00:11:18,262
All right.
We're moving on!
276
00:11:18,264 --> 00:11:19,597
So, class, to your left,
277
00:11:19,599 --> 00:11:22,283
you will see some
excellent examples of
278
00:11:22,285 --> 00:11:25,953
what we'd call windows.
279
00:11:25,955 --> 00:11:27,789
So where are we going now?
280
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:28,790
I have no idea.
281
00:11:28,792 --> 00:11:30,291
This is a disaster.
282
00:11:30,293 --> 00:11:32,276
Some of them are already
starting to go home.
283
00:11:32,278 --> 00:11:34,962
Although we seem to have
picked up a German family.
284
00:11:34,964 --> 00:11:36,881
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
285
00:11:36,883 --> 00:11:39,617
That thing with Robin
and her creepy therapist
286
00:11:39,619 --> 00:11:40,618
gave me an idea.
287
00:11:40,620 --> 00:11:42,587
Ted, we have here a way
288
00:11:42,589 --> 00:11:45,456
to solve every single debate
we've ever had!
289
00:11:45,458 --> 00:11:47,291
I mean, just look at the sample:
290
00:11:47,293 --> 00:11:50,344
guys, girls,
blacks, Asians, a German family.
291
00:11:50,346 --> 00:11:52,930
You can't pay for that kind of
focus group!
292
00:11:52,932 --> 00:11:55,633
Is macaroni salad
really a salad?
293
00:11:55,635 --> 00:11:57,134
Hands up if you say "no."
294
00:11:58,136 --> 00:11:59,153
Ha!
295
00:11:59,155 --> 00:12:00,154
Jacob or Edward?
296
00:12:00,156 --> 00:12:01,138
Who says Edward?
297
00:12:01,140 --> 00:12:03,107
Ha, ha. See?
I told you.
298
00:12:03,109 --> 00:12:05,493
It's Edward
James Olmos.
299
00:12:05,495 --> 00:12:09,163
Would you rather have sex
with a dead human being
300
00:12:09,165 --> 00:12:11,916
or a live an...?
Dude.
301
00:12:11,918 --> 00:12:13,484
What?
Find the line.
302
00:12:13,486 --> 00:12:15,953
Who thinks David
Hasselhoff is awesome?
303
00:12:16,922 --> 00:12:18,623
Hmm.
It's true.
304
00:12:18,625 --> 00:12:20,341
Okay. I've got one.
If you're dating a girl,
305
00:12:20,343 --> 00:12:21,843
and she lies
about her age,
306
00:12:21,845 --> 00:12:23,811
who says break up
with her?
307
00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:26,047
Yes, yes, but what if
the person she's lying to
308
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:28,165
is notoriously
shallow about age?
309
00:12:28,167 --> 00:12:30,518
Okay, but what if early
in our relationship,
310
00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:31,853
she made a really big deal
311
00:12:31,855 --> 00:12:33,471
about wanting to not
lie to each other?
312
00:12:34,356 --> 00:12:35,523
What if she's hot?
313
00:12:36,391 --> 00:12:37,558
Who wants five bucks?
314
00:12:38,477 --> 00:12:40,144
Pollstered!
315
00:12:40,146 --> 00:12:41,646
Let's do this.
316
00:12:46,034 --> 00:12:47,852
Hmm? Yeah.
317
00:12:48,872 --> 00:12:49,871
Mm...
318
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:51,372
Okay, this is creepy.
319
00:12:51,374 --> 00:12:52,874
It's Crispin
Glover creepy.
320
00:12:52,876 --> 00:12:54,292
You were my patient.
321
00:12:54,294 --> 00:12:55,576
You shared intimate stuff.
322
00:12:55,578 --> 00:12:57,378
It would be like dating
your gynecologist.
323
00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,497
You were vulnerable.
324
00:12:59,499 --> 00:13:01,999
That's not something
we can move past.
325
00:13:02,001 --> 00:13:04,168
Guess not.
326
00:13:05,087 --> 00:13:08,389
So, dating your gyno,
that's bad, too?
327
00:13:08,391 --> 00:13:09,557
Oh, Robin.
328
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:11,259
Kidding!
329
00:13:11,261 --> 00:13:12,960
Look, we've got another one!
330
00:13:14,981 --> 00:13:16,380
Come on,
have a bite.
331
00:13:16,382 --> 00:13:18,266
No, it's a matter
of principle.
332
00:13:18,268 --> 00:13:19,734
I don't care how good it is,
333
00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:21,352
I'm not gonna have
a third piece of cake!
334
00:13:21,354 --> 00:13:25,389
Okay, guys, you all had
a lot of fun today,
335
00:13:25,391 --> 00:13:28,276
but now it's time...
to have even more fun!
336
00:13:28,278 --> 00:13:30,478
Another cake!
337
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,246
Another cake?!
338
00:13:32,248 --> 00:13:34,198
What is the matter
with you people?!
339
00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,736
That settlement today was
a flaming pile of...
340
00:13:38,738 --> 00:13:40,638
puppies...
341
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,423
that aren't on fire!
342
00:13:42,425 --> 00:13:44,592
Look at what's happening
to the environment,
343
00:13:44,594 --> 00:13:46,294
and we're here doing the limbo?
344
00:13:46,296 --> 00:13:49,380
I mean, we should be ashamed
of ourselves!
345
00:13:57,723 --> 00:14:00,391
Sir, all I meant was...
346
00:14:00,393 --> 00:14:02,777
Ten years from right now,
347
00:14:02,779 --> 00:14:05,930
everyone outside in that bullpen
will be dead.
348
00:14:05,932 --> 00:14:07,398
What?
349
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:09,317
I've seen the
latest research, Marsh.
350
00:14:09,319 --> 00:14:10,885
You know how I'm always saying
351
00:14:10,887 --> 00:14:12,904
it's not too late
to save the planet?
352
00:14:12,906 --> 00:14:14,939
It's too late
to save the planet.
353
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:18,125
There's nothing to do
but sit back
354
00:14:18,127 --> 00:14:21,812
and await our inevitable doom.
355
00:14:23,216 --> 00:14:24,782
Oh, my goodness, a piñata!
356
00:14:24,784 --> 00:14:26,217
Just give me one minute, Larry.
357
00:14:26,219 --> 00:14:27,785
Thank you.
358
00:14:27,787 --> 00:14:31,138
Our grotesque, inevitable doom!
359
00:14:32,090 --> 00:14:33,925
Now, of course,
you can't go around
360
00:14:33,927 --> 00:14:34,976
telling all the people
361
00:14:34,978 --> 00:14:36,727
that the good ship
Environmentalism
362
00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:38,295
has sailed off into the sunset.
363
00:14:38,297 --> 00:14:39,931
There would cause a panic.
364
00:14:39,933 --> 00:14:41,782
So, instead,
what we do is,
365
00:14:41,784 --> 00:14:44,235
we come to work,
we put on a happy face,
366
00:14:44,237 --> 00:14:46,487
and we sue the big guys
367
00:14:46,489 --> 00:14:48,973
for just enough money
for some cake
368
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:53,444
before the unfiltered rays
of the sun fry us like chalupas,
369
00:14:53,446 --> 00:14:56,414
and our lungs fill up
with salt water,
370
00:14:56,416 --> 00:14:58,833
and we all die!
371
00:14:58,835 --> 00:15:01,419
Mmm. This cake is delicious.
Everything's fine.
372
00:15:05,595 --> 00:15:06,645
Ugh, this day sucks.
373
00:15:07,370 --> 00:15:09,203
Kevin and I are kaputski.
374
00:15:09,205 --> 00:15:10,821
You think that's bad?
375
00:15:10,823 --> 00:15:13,157
The world is
coming to an end.
376
00:15:13,159 --> 00:15:15,059
You think that's bad?
377
00:15:15,061 --> 00:15:19,196
My girlfriend is 37!
378
00:15:19,198 --> 00:15:22,500
And my field trip is not going
as well as I'd hoped.
379
00:15:22,502 --> 00:15:24,652
Hmm.
380
00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:26,554
This day sucks.
381
00:15:26,556 --> 00:15:29,173
Professor Mosby,
is the field trip over?
382
00:15:29,175 --> 00:15:31,008
We'd like to go home.
383
00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:32,593
Yeah, it's over.
384
00:15:32,595 --> 00:15:34,762
Auf wiedersehen.
385
00:15:34,764 --> 00:15:36,430
I just wanted
to inspire them,
386
00:15:36,432 --> 00:15:39,883
you know, like my professors
inspired me.
387
00:15:39,885 --> 00:15:43,104
But here we are,
at the end of the day...
388
00:15:43,106 --> 00:15:44,655
Hey, class,
quick question.
389
00:15:44,657 --> 00:15:47,408
Uh, is anyone here thinking
of becoming an architect?
390
00:15:52,614 --> 00:15:54,749
Really?
391
00:15:54,751 --> 00:15:56,918
Yeah, dude.
I mean,
392
00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,569
all jobs suck,
393
00:15:58,571 --> 00:16:00,571
but it's 4:00
in the afternoon,
394
00:16:00,573 --> 00:16:02,540
and you're out at a bar
with your friends,
395
00:16:02,542 --> 00:16:04,759
so the hours can't
be that bad.
396
00:16:04,761 --> 00:16:06,377
So...
397
00:16:06,379 --> 00:16:08,763
yeah, I don't know,
I'd think about it.
398
00:16:08,765 --> 00:16:12,082
I got through to you. Oh!
399
00:16:12,084 --> 00:16:15,753
I mean, that is, if becoming
a deejay doesn't pan out.
400
00:16:15,755 --> 00:16:18,973
You are gonna be
a great architect.
401
00:16:18,975 --> 00:16:21,091
He became a deejay.
402
00:16:23,762 --> 00:16:25,062
Robin, what are you doing here?
403
00:16:25,064 --> 00:16:26,604
I told you I can't
be your therapist.
404
00:16:26,629 --> 00:16:27,449
I know.
405
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:29,933
Today, I am your therapist.
406
00:16:29,935 --> 00:16:30,934
What?
407
00:16:30,936 --> 00:16:32,153
You said yourself,
408
00:16:32,155 --> 00:16:34,405
I'm always looking for reasons
not to be happy.
409
00:16:34,407 --> 00:16:36,324
Well, I'm trying to change that.
410
00:16:36,326 --> 00:16:38,442
So, if the only reason
we can't be together
411
00:16:38,444 --> 00:16:40,444
is because I was
in a vulnerable place
412
00:16:40,446 --> 00:16:42,129
for the first two hours
we knew each other
413
00:16:42,131 --> 00:16:46,417
then that is two hours of
vulnerability you owe me.
414
00:16:47,302 --> 00:16:48,336
Sit down.
415
00:16:48,338 --> 00:16:50,287
Okay.
416
00:16:50,289 --> 00:16:54,809
Okay, but I must warn you, as a
professional, I'm immune to...
417
00:16:54,811 --> 00:16:55,776
Tell me about your mother.
418
00:16:55,801 --> 00:16:57,924
Everything she says
is a manipulation!
419
00:16:57,963 --> 00:16:59,263
When I was
seven years old...
420
00:16:59,265 --> 00:17:00,931
Mr. Cootes.
421
00:17:00,933 --> 00:17:02,817
- Hey.
- Listen, I've been thinking
422
00:17:02,819 --> 00:17:04,735
a lot about what you said
yesterday,
423
00:17:04,737 --> 00:17:06,270
about how we're all gonna die.
424
00:17:06,272 --> 00:17:07,571
Oh, I'm not gonna die.
425
00:17:07,573 --> 00:17:10,691
I bought an old mine shaft
in Colorado.
426
00:17:10,693 --> 00:17:13,728
I've spent the last six months
filling it with canned goods,
427
00:17:13,730 --> 00:17:16,864
assault rifles and all five
seasons of Friday Night Lights.
428
00:17:16,866 --> 00:17:19,750
Okay, first of all,
you can skip season two.
429
00:17:19,752 --> 00:17:23,153
Second of all, after our talk...
430
00:17:23,155 --> 00:17:26,741
I came pretty close
to giving up myself.
431
00:17:26,743 --> 00:17:30,294
But then I went to the doctor
with my wife...
432
00:17:30,296 --> 00:17:31,295
and...
433
00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:34,932
I saw this.
434
00:17:36,935 --> 00:17:39,370
Boy or girl?
435
00:17:39,372 --> 00:17:41,505
I don't know.
436
00:17:41,507 --> 00:17:44,275
But I know I sure as hell
can't give up now.
437
00:17:44,277 --> 00:17:46,727
So, if you're just looking
for someone
438
00:17:46,729 --> 00:17:49,113
to hold the other end
of the limbo stick,
439
00:17:49,115 --> 00:17:52,199
you got the wrong guy for
the job, and you know why?
440
00:17:52,201 --> 00:17:54,952
'Cause you're three feet taller
than everyone in this office?
441
00:17:54,954 --> 00:17:57,955
No. Because if I am
gonna work here,
442
00:17:57,957 --> 00:17:59,790
then first thing
tomorrow morning,
443
00:17:59,792 --> 00:18:01,859
I'm walking down
to Gruber Pharmaceuticals,
444
00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,828
and I'm rejecting their offer.
445
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,163
Even if I have to do it myself.
446
00:18:08,167 --> 00:18:12,670
Listen, I want you
to know... I know.
447
00:18:12,672 --> 00:18:13,671
Know what?
448
00:18:13,673 --> 00:18:15,272
Nora.
449
00:18:15,274 --> 00:18:16,674
Barney.
450
00:18:16,676 --> 00:18:17,708
Nora.
451
00:18:17,710 --> 00:18:19,209
Just say what you're gonna say!
452
00:18:19,211 --> 00:18:20,594
I know you're old!
453
00:18:20,596 --> 00:18:23,147
And I've been struggling
with it,
454
00:18:23,149 --> 00:18:26,049
but when I look at you...
455
00:18:26,051 --> 00:18:28,385
I don't care,
because I really like you.
456
00:18:28,387 --> 00:18:33,557
And because for 37,
you are keeping it toit!
457
00:18:33,559 --> 00:18:35,860
You think I'm 37?
458
00:18:35,862 --> 00:18:37,812
Well, if you were really 29,
459
00:18:37,837 --> 00:18:39,107
then you would have
been a little kid
460
00:18:39,115 --> 00:18:41,999
the first time you saw the Ewoks
and you would have loved them.
461
00:18:42,001 --> 00:18:43,464
Barney, I didn't see
any of the Star Wars
462
00:18:43,489 --> 00:18:44,934
movies until last year.
463
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:49,874
You... you're 29!
464
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:53,076
You still have
one good year left.
465
00:18:53,078 --> 00:18:55,262
- What?
- Nothing.
466
00:18:55,264 --> 00:18:56,797
Mm...
467
00:18:56,799 --> 00:18:58,466
But Naveen's the neurosurgeon,
468
00:18:58,468 --> 00:19:00,584
so of course he gets
all the attention!
469
00:19:00,586 --> 00:19:01,886
Oh, Naveen is so smart,
470
00:19:01,888 --> 00:19:04,805
he operates on people's brains!
471
00:19:04,807 --> 00:19:06,891
Well, guess what, Mom?!
472
00:19:06,893 --> 00:19:09,610
I treat the human mind!
473
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:11,612
Our time is up.
474
00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:14,698
I don't think
this is gonna work.
475
00:19:14,700 --> 00:19:16,400
I scared you off, didn't I?
476
00:19:16,402 --> 00:19:20,154
No, I mean, I don't think
I can be your therapist.
477
00:19:20,156 --> 00:19:22,790
You're really cute.
478
00:19:24,059 --> 00:19:25,476
The next day,
479
00:19:25,478 --> 00:19:27,661
Marshall returned toGruber Pharmaceuticals alone.
480
00:19:27,663 --> 00:19:30,781
I mean, you admit
that you polluted the lake.
481
00:19:30,783 --> 00:19:31,949
We got the evidence.
482
00:19:31,951 --> 00:19:33,951
We got the charts.
483
00:19:33,953 --> 00:19:36,137
The fish...
484
00:19:37,556 --> 00:19:39,673
Fish, huh?
485
00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:41,559
Fish are weird.
486
00:19:41,561 --> 00:19:44,195
You ever think
about the names of fish?
487
00:19:44,197 --> 00:19:45,679
I mean, come on.
488
00:19:45,681 --> 00:19:46,964
Carp.
489
00:19:46,966 --> 00:19:49,900
Garrison, what a nice surprise.
490
00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:52,403
Your star apprentice
was just, uh...
491
00:19:52,405 --> 00:19:54,071
"Floundering."
492
00:19:54,073 --> 00:19:56,073
Little, little
fish humor
493
00:19:56,075 --> 00:19:57,408
for you guys.
494
00:19:57,410 --> 00:19:58,742
It was not going well.
495
00:19:58,744 --> 00:20:01,445
I'm here to turn
down the 24,000.
496
00:20:01,447 --> 00:20:05,332
Well, I can maybe get you
24,500.
497
00:20:05,334 --> 00:20:10,871
Not... good... enough.
498
00:20:15,060 --> 00:20:17,160
Where are we going?
499
00:20:17,162 --> 00:20:19,430
To war, son.
500
00:20:19,432 --> 00:20:22,216
We're going to war.
501
00:20:23,668 --> 00:20:26,387
We're going to save the planet.
502
00:20:26,389 --> 00:20:31,475
And kids, as we now know,they did.
503
00:20:34,364 --> 00:20:35,831
Hey, you know
what was on last night?
504
00:20:35,833 --> 00:20:37,203
- Stand and Deliver.
- Mm.
505
00:20:37,228 --> 00:20:38,428
- So good.
- Mm-hmm.
506
00:20:38,752 --> 00:20:41,403
Whatever happened
to Jacob James Olmos?
507
00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:42,604
Who?
508
00:20:42,606 --> 00:20:45,574
Jacob James Olmos.
Whatever happened to that guy?
509
00:20:45,576 --> 00:20:47,275
He never existed.
510
00:20:47,277 --> 00:20:48,543
It's Edward James Olmos.
511
00:20:48,545 --> 00:20:50,245
You're Olmos correct.
512
00:20:50,247 --> 00:20:52,614
It's Jacob James Olmos.
513
00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:54,666
- It's Edward James Olmos.
- Jacob James Olmos.
514
00:20:54,668 --> 00:20:56,337
Edward James Olmos.
515
00:20:56,362 --> 00:20:57,379
- You're joking, right...?
- Are you serious...?
516
00:20:57,404 --> 00:20:59,165
- Seriously.
- Jacob James Olmos.
517
00:20:59,265 --> 00:21:03,265
== sync, corrected by elderman ==36699
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
