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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,876
- Yeah, then I have
a watch party
2
00:00:00,976 --> 00:00:02,245
for Curtis' new show tonight,
3
00:00:02,343 --> 00:00:04,113
but I'm worried
it's gonna be so bad?
4
00:00:04,212 --> 00:00:05,581
- Oh, no, really?
- Yeah.
5
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,917
I mean, his character
was fully a woman,
6
00:00:08,010 --> 00:00:09,718
and then they just made her
a gay guy
7
00:00:09,818 --> 00:00:11,254
without changing any lines.
8
00:00:11,353 --> 00:00:12,989
- Well, that is
how you guys talk.
9
00:00:13,087 --> 00:00:16,020
I mean, not you,
but the fun ones.
10
00:00:16,123 --> 00:00:19,562
Also, are you sure that Lucas
doesn't wanna walk with us?
11
00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:22,231
He's been, like, ten paces
behind us all morning.
12
00:00:22,330 --> 00:00:23,766
- Oh, no, he's in
this new miniseries
13
00:00:23,864 --> 00:00:26,102
about a gay serial killer,
so technically,
14
00:00:26,201 --> 00:00:27,736
he's hunting me right now.
15
00:00:27,835 --> 00:00:29,372
- Hunting you?
- Yeah, funny, right?
16
00:00:29,470 --> 00:00:31,074
He's actually playing
one of the most prolific
17
00:00:31,172 --> 00:00:32,708
gay serial killers of all time.
18
00:00:32,807 --> 00:00:36,012
He's a sociopath who used
to chop his victims' penises up
19
00:00:36,105 --> 00:00:38,714
into little pieces
and then eat the pieces.
20
00:00:38,812 --> 00:00:40,849
- So I take it,
still not having sex.
21
00:00:40,948 --> 00:00:43,047
- No, and he's not even really
sleeping over now--
22
00:00:43,151 --> 00:00:45,454
for my safety.
- This is so terrifying.
23
00:00:45,553 --> 00:00:47,991
- Yeah, but it's for his art.
- No, I mean you.
24
00:00:48,090 --> 00:00:50,093
You're terrifying.
[phone buzzing]
25
00:00:50,191 --> 00:00:52,328
Oh, it's our new stepdad.
26
00:00:52,426 --> 00:00:55,059
- [laughs] Holy shit.
He just calls us now?
27
00:00:55,163 --> 00:00:57,000
- Hi, Daddy.
- Brooke, hi.
28
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:58,167
Uh, I was just calling 'cause
29
00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,702
it's your mom's birthday
tomorrow,
30
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:01,370
and she said the only thing
she wants to do
31
00:01:01,469 --> 00:01:03,472
is have a normal family dinner
at Applebee's
32
00:01:03,571 --> 00:01:04,807
like you all used to in Ohio.
33
00:01:04,906 --> 00:01:05,942
No security, nothing.
34
00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:07,276
- Sorry, she's a billionaire
35
00:01:07,375 --> 00:01:08,677
and she wants to eat
at Applebee's?
36
00:01:08,777 --> 00:01:10,013
The food is vile.
37
00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,515
- L-O-L, that is legit
impossible.
38
00:01:12,613 --> 00:01:15,284
She needs security if she's
gonna eat at the Applebee's
39
00:01:15,382 --> 00:01:17,586
in, what, Times Square?
40
00:01:17,685 --> 00:01:19,588
They'll need to pre-screen
all the diners,
41
00:01:19,687 --> 00:01:21,890
shut down Midtown,
plus with you,
42
00:01:21,989 --> 00:01:23,292
you guys'll be swarmed.
43
00:01:23,391 --> 00:01:24,693
How does she think
this is gonna happen?
44
00:01:24,792 --> 00:01:26,329
- She said maybe we could
just ask everyone
45
00:01:26,428 --> 00:01:28,264
to be cool, like,
really nicely.
46
00:01:28,363 --> 00:01:30,299
both: [laugh]
Be cool?
47
00:01:30,398 --> 00:01:31,901
- Listen, we all know
this can't happen,
48
00:01:31,999 --> 00:01:33,602
but she seems
really desperate, you know,
49
00:01:33,701 --> 00:01:35,238
and I kinda wanna do
something nice for her
50
00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:36,505
since we've just been
on the Marvel plane
51
00:01:36,604 --> 00:01:38,141
having sex for the last month.
52
00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:39,408
- And that's a bad thing?
53
00:01:39,507 --> 00:01:40,843
- So I think
I figured out a way
54
00:01:40,941 --> 00:01:42,478
to give this to her.
You guys free tonight?
55
00:01:42,577 --> 00:01:44,280
- I mean, I just
have to pop out early
56
00:01:44,379 --> 00:01:46,282
for a friend's watch party,
but sure.
57
00:01:46,381 --> 00:01:47,816
- Great.
I'll text you the address.
58
00:01:47,915 --> 00:01:49,418
- Well, isn't it just
the Applebee's in Times--
59
00:01:49,517 --> 00:01:52,888
[line beeps]
- Uh, he hung up.
60
00:01:52,988 --> 00:01:54,457
Aww, and wait.
61
00:01:54,555 --> 00:01:56,025
Maybe the show will be good.
62
00:01:56,124 --> 00:01:58,194
I mean, Curtis is funny.
63
00:01:58,292 --> 00:02:00,930
- Yeah, totally.
It could be good.
64
00:02:01,029 --> 00:02:02,465
Yeah, maybe it'll be good.
65
00:02:02,563 --> 00:02:04,567
That'd be great if it was good.
66
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:06,502
Yeah.
67
00:02:06,601 --> 00:02:08,204
- ♪ I-I-I'm a winner ♪
68
00:02:08,303 --> 00:02:10,206
- Okay, we need to talk
about this.
69
00:02:10,305 --> 00:02:13,076
- Hi, y'all.
Beautiful day in the industry.
70
00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,543
- Brooke,
you're three hours late.
71
00:02:14,642 --> 00:02:16,445
- Yeah, sorry, I've just
been brainstorming ways
72
00:02:16,544 --> 00:02:18,581
I can use the P! Network--
for good!
73
00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,383
I was thinking maybe
an interview series
74
00:02:20,481 --> 00:02:21,650
where my mom sits down
75
00:02:21,749 --> 00:02:24,087
with a new powerful woman
each week.
76
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,522
Malala. Greta Thunberg.
77
00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:28,491
Malala.
- You started with Malala.
78
00:02:28,589 --> 00:02:30,793
Also, this took you
three hours?
79
00:02:30,892 --> 00:02:32,695
- It actually
takes my breath away
80
00:02:32,794 --> 00:02:35,198
thinking about all the good
I'm now gonna do for people--
81
00:02:35,297 --> 00:02:36,832
nay, women.
82
00:02:36,931 --> 00:02:39,568
- That's great, but first,
we have a situation.
83
00:02:39,667 --> 00:02:41,837
- Hmm.
- Chase and Pam broke up.
84
00:02:41,931 --> 00:02:43,206
- Wait, what?
- Yup.
85
00:02:43,304 --> 00:02:44,673
- Is it public?
- Yeah, we tweeted it.
86
00:02:44,772 --> 00:02:46,542
- [sighs]
- We still love each other.
87
00:02:46,641 --> 00:02:48,777
We've just grown apart
since 18 days ago.
88
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:50,113
- No. Fuck!
89
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,714
Shuli, I wanna help women.
90
00:02:51,813 --> 00:02:54,918
My first day back, I can't
send a woman to the woods.
91
00:02:55,016 --> 00:02:56,652
- Sorry, what's this?
92
00:02:56,751 --> 00:02:59,522
- Well, you know how it goes.
They broke up, it's out there,
93
00:02:59,621 --> 00:03:01,757
and now Pam does simply
have to go
94
00:03:01,855 --> 00:03:03,626
live out the rest of her days
in the woods.
95
00:03:03,724 --> 00:03:05,494
- No, I know how it goes.
I just--
96
00:03:05,593 --> 00:03:07,063
- Wait, wait,
we don't know how it goes.
97
00:03:07,162 --> 00:03:08,397
- Yeah, Chase and I broke up,
98
00:03:08,496 --> 00:03:10,033
so now I have to live
in the woods?
99
00:03:10,132 --> 00:03:11,300
- [sighs]
100
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,835
- Let's just show 'em
the video.
101
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,943
- [sighs]
[pounding at door]
102
00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:23,312
What? Coming, coming.
103
00:03:23,411 --> 00:03:25,881
- Cary Dubek?
- Yes, can I, uh--
104
00:03:25,975 --> 00:03:28,351
okay, you're just coming in.
105
00:03:28,449 --> 00:03:29,785
- Sorry, on a tight skedge.
106
00:03:29,884 --> 00:03:31,520
Do you get a lot
of street noise in here?
107
00:03:31,619 --> 00:03:34,457
- Sorry, who and why are you--
- Sheila!
108
00:03:34,555 --> 00:03:36,692
I'm here to record your ADR
for "WindWeaver."
109
00:03:36,791 --> 00:03:38,561
Didn't anybody call you?
- No.
110
00:03:38,660 --> 00:03:41,297
The--the fantasy show
I shot in Croatia?
111
00:03:41,395 --> 00:03:42,765
Is that coming out?
- Yup!
112
00:03:42,863 --> 00:03:45,001
Whole thing's dropping
on Netflix next week,
113
00:03:45,098 --> 00:03:48,232
though beats me how they
get it done in time. [laughs]
114
00:03:48,336 --> 00:03:50,206
- Why? Is something wrong?
115
00:03:50,305 --> 00:03:54,310
- All I know is,
post is a fucking mess.
116
00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:57,241
We've got no mix, no color.
117
00:03:57,340 --> 00:03:58,948
I'm not even supposed to be
doing this,
118
00:03:59,046 --> 00:04:02,551
but the post supe quit
this a.m., so voilà!
119
00:04:02,650 --> 00:04:05,421
I am not kidding
when I say that
120
00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:09,092
everybody on this show--
except me--is crazy.
121
00:04:09,191 --> 00:04:11,660
- So I'm in another bad thing?
122
00:04:11,759 --> 00:04:13,796
- Okay, shh.
Here's the scene we need.
123
00:04:15,230 --> 00:04:18,034
[horses nickering]
124
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:21,938
- I've seen this place before
in my dreams.
125
00:04:22,037 --> 00:04:24,407
And I pray he's here.
- Who?
126
00:04:24,506 --> 00:04:27,510
- The WindWeaver.
127
00:04:27,608 --> 00:04:31,447
The one who weaves the wind.
128
00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:32,881
Onward!
[horse neighs]
129
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:37,153
- Man, this show is not for me.
[chuckles]
130
00:04:37,251 --> 00:04:39,388
Anyway, you got it?
- No.
131
00:04:39,487 --> 00:04:41,257
Sorry, what am I recording?
132
00:04:41,356 --> 00:04:42,858
My character literally
never speaks--
133
00:04:42,952 --> 00:04:44,393
in this scene or ever.
134
00:04:44,492 --> 00:04:46,029
I was basically an extra
for eight months.
135
00:04:46,128 --> 00:04:49,065
- Right, so you know
how everyone in the show
136
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,534
goes on these little quests?
137
00:04:51,632 --> 00:04:54,003
Well, in the edit,
they realized
138
00:04:54,101 --> 00:04:57,040
that you can never tell
where the fuck any of you are,
139
00:04:57,139 --> 00:04:59,508
so they're having people
ADR extra shit like,
140
00:04:59,607 --> 00:05:01,477
"Oh, look, we're here now!"
141
00:05:01,575 --> 00:05:04,180
or, "Oh, we've arrived
at this place!"
142
00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:07,050
Hoping to hell they can
make it make sense quick.
143
00:05:07,149 --> 00:05:08,817
So over your back,
144
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:11,554
after the main guy
says "onward,"
145
00:05:11,652 --> 00:05:14,423
they want you to now say...
146
00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:18,294
"Yes, onward ho,
to the Port City of Gargool."
147
00:05:18,392 --> 00:05:21,797
[laughs]
Jesus fucking Christ.
148
00:05:21,897 --> 00:05:23,599
Okay, ready?
149
00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,701
- [sighs]
Yes.
150
00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:27,971
[mellow guitar music playing]
151
00:05:28,069 --> 00:05:29,333
- Sorry, what is this?
152
00:05:29,437 --> 00:05:32,041
- It looks like
an orientation video?
153
00:05:32,140 --> 00:05:33,476
- Hello!
154
00:05:33,575 --> 00:05:35,544
If you're watching this,
it's because
155
00:05:35,643 --> 00:05:37,846
you broke the heart
of a beloved pop star
156
00:05:37,945 --> 00:05:41,650
with millions of fans
and are now moments away
157
00:05:41,749 --> 00:05:44,253
from being doxxed to death
by them.
158
00:05:44,352 --> 00:05:45,788
- Wait, what?
159
00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,691
- But don't worry.
That's where we come in.
160
00:05:48,791 --> 00:05:51,660
Welcome to New Beginnings.
161
00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:54,463
At New Beginnings,
we provide a safe haven
162
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:55,965
for girls like you--
163
00:05:56,063 --> 00:05:58,334
girls who have been forced
to leave society
164
00:05:58,427 --> 00:06:00,136
because their names,
addresses,
165
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:03,973
and Social Security numbers
have all been posted online
166
00:06:04,067 --> 00:06:05,641
by their ex's fans--
167
00:06:05,740 --> 00:06:09,278
fans who love their pop star
and now hate you
168
00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:11,480
because of what you did
to him.
169
00:06:11,579 --> 00:06:12,881
- Uh...
- Here, you'll live
170
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:14,918
a simple life but a good one,
171
00:06:15,016 --> 00:06:17,486
and no hate mail
can reach you here
172
00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:19,222
because there is no mail.
173
00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:22,458
New Beginnings is completely
off the grid
174
00:06:22,557 --> 00:06:24,193
and not on any map,
175
00:06:24,292 --> 00:06:27,630
all to give you peace of mind
that no teen girl
176
00:06:27,728 --> 00:06:30,199
will ever find and kill you.
177
00:06:30,298 --> 00:06:33,102
Also, Sunday is Craft Day.
178
00:06:33,201 --> 00:06:35,071
- Okay, no, Pam isn't living
in the woods
179
00:06:35,170 --> 00:06:36,940
'cause a couple
of my fans are mad.
180
00:06:37,037 --> 00:06:38,641
- Yeah, and we said
the breakup was mutual.
181
00:06:38,740 --> 00:06:40,209
Why would they blame me?
182
00:06:40,308 --> 00:06:41,710
- Now, I'm sure at this point,
you're thinking,
183
00:06:41,809 --> 00:06:44,513
"We said
the breakup was mutual.
184
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,449
Why would they blame me?"
185
00:06:46,547 --> 00:06:48,985
Simply put, you're the girl.
186
00:06:49,083 --> 00:06:51,454
Maybe if you were Rihanna,
it'd be fine,
187
00:06:51,552 --> 00:06:52,888
but if you're watching this,
188
00:06:52,987 --> 00:06:55,992
you're probably not Rihanna,
so...
189
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,560
woods it is!
190
00:06:57,658 --> 00:06:59,262
- No, no, I'm just gonna
go home to Iowa.
191
00:06:59,361 --> 00:07:01,764
This'll blow over.
- And by now you're thinking,
192
00:07:01,862 --> 00:07:04,633
"I'll just go home to Iowa.
This'll blow over."
193
00:07:04,733 --> 00:07:06,430
But if you're this far in,
194
00:07:06,534 --> 00:07:08,137
your home has been
set on fire.
195
00:07:08,236 --> 00:07:11,407
- What? No, it hasn't.
I'm Googling.
196
00:07:11,506 --> 00:07:13,676
- And by now you're Googling,
but trust me.
197
00:07:13,774 --> 00:07:17,080
It's on fire.
- Oh, my God, it is.
198
00:07:17,179 --> 00:07:19,882
Do I have to go live
in the woods?
199
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,350
- Onward!
[horse neighs]
200
00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:23,086
- Yes, onward ho!
201
00:07:23,185 --> 00:07:25,922
To the Port City of Gargool!
- No! No.
202
00:07:26,020 --> 00:07:28,791
Something's off.
Think, Sheila. God!
203
00:07:28,889 --> 00:07:31,160
I haven't had time to go
to the doctor in years,
204
00:07:31,259 --> 00:07:34,330
but something is definitely up,
if you catch my drift.
205
00:07:34,423 --> 00:07:36,799
- Is the drift a--
a brain tumor?
206
00:07:36,898 --> 00:07:38,534
- Oh, they want you to sound
like you're on a horse.
207
00:07:38,634 --> 00:07:40,703
So let's just do it again,
208
00:07:40,801 --> 00:07:43,006
but this time, bounce up
and down while you do it.
209
00:07:43,104 --> 00:07:44,640
- Oh, okay. Sure.
210
00:07:44,738 --> 00:07:48,077
- The one who weaves the wind.
211
00:07:48,176 --> 00:07:49,245
[blade shings]
212
00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:50,379
Onward!
[horse neighs]
213
00:07:50,479 --> 00:07:51,647
- Yes!
214
00:07:51,745 --> 00:07:54,383
Onward ho! To the--
- No! Fuck!
215
00:07:54,482 --> 00:07:55,751
Something's still missing.
216
00:07:55,849 --> 00:07:57,620
What did they want?
- I don't--
217
00:07:57,718 --> 00:07:58,787
- I know it was
something stupid.
218
00:07:58,887 --> 00:08:01,557
[gasps]
Oh! Oh! The teeth!
219
00:08:01,650 --> 00:08:03,927
They want you to wear
the little elf teeth.
220
00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,561
Oh, my God,
Hank would've killed me
221
00:08:05,660 --> 00:08:07,263
if I forgot the teeth.
222
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,631
Or did he quit too?
223
00:08:08,730 --> 00:08:10,233
I have worked on
a lot of shows,
224
00:08:10,326 --> 00:08:12,335
but this, by far, is the worst.
225
00:08:12,434 --> 00:08:13,702
- Cool, cool.
226
00:08:13,802 --> 00:08:15,771
Um, have you heard anything
227
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:18,541
about this new Paramount+ show,
"Girlies"?
228
00:08:18,639 --> 00:08:20,977
- Oh, God,
I heard that show's a dream.
229
00:08:21,075 --> 00:08:22,578
I would kill
to be on that show.
230
00:08:22,678 --> 00:08:24,580
- So Rotten Tomatoes-wise,
231
00:08:24,679 --> 00:08:28,784
we talking what, like,
90, 92% Fresh?
232
00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:30,186
- Maybe it won't be so bad.
233
00:08:30,285 --> 00:08:31,787
This one girl taught herself
woodworking.
234
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,289
- No, no, no, this is--
this is insane.
235
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:34,657
Why didn't you guys tell me
this could happen?
236
00:08:34,755 --> 00:08:36,259
- [sighs]
Well, we tried, bud,
237
00:08:36,358 --> 00:08:38,494
but you said you wanted
to be treated like an adult,
238
00:08:38,592 --> 00:08:40,563
make your own decisions,
remember?
239
00:08:40,656 --> 00:08:42,431
- Okay, well, to be fair,
you did release my album
240
00:08:42,530 --> 00:08:43,732
on the day of the insurrection.
241
00:08:43,831 --> 00:08:45,868
- Oh, my God,
enough of this shit!
242
00:08:45,967 --> 00:08:47,236
You wanna be an adult?
243
00:08:47,335 --> 00:08:49,305
Here's the truth.
- God, no, Shuli, no.
244
00:08:49,403 --> 00:08:51,807
- We didn't release your album
on the day of the insurrection.
245
00:08:51,906 --> 00:08:54,243
Your album was so bad,
246
00:08:54,342 --> 00:08:56,712
I created the insurrection!
247
00:08:58,012 --> 00:09:00,116
- What?
- Don't be mad, bud.
248
00:09:00,215 --> 00:09:01,850
You're just...
249
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:03,152
you're not that great
of a singer.
250
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:05,254
- You suck.
I mean, you're cute,
251
00:09:05,353 --> 00:09:06,589
but you suck.
252
00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:08,024
And it's wild
that you don't know that.
253
00:09:08,123 --> 00:09:10,554
So in order to distract
from your album,
254
00:09:10,658 --> 00:09:12,828
I spent months
radicalizing people
255
00:09:12,927 --> 00:09:15,559
to storm the Capitol
on the day it dropped.
256
00:09:15,664 --> 00:09:17,600
Chase, I'm Q.
257
00:09:17,699 --> 00:09:19,302
- Oh, my God.
258
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,870
It was--it was that bad?
259
00:09:21,970 --> 00:09:23,806
Shit, I--I don't want Pam
260
00:09:23,904 --> 00:09:25,374
now to go to the woods
'cause of me.
261
00:09:25,473 --> 00:09:27,843
- There's gotta be something
we can do to help her.
262
00:09:27,943 --> 00:09:30,246
I mean, my whole thing
is helping women.
263
00:09:30,344 --> 00:09:31,847
Starting today.
264
00:09:31,946 --> 00:09:34,017
- [scoffs] There is one thing,
I mean, we could try.
265
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:37,581
Something that might make
all of Chase's fans Team Pam.
266
00:09:37,686 --> 00:09:39,688
- What is it? I'll do it.
267
00:09:39,787 --> 00:09:41,925
- Well, I'd usually
only do this
268
00:09:42,024 --> 00:09:44,460
after a divorce, but...
269
00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:48,064
we need to make you a bad boy.
270
00:09:48,163 --> 00:09:49,899
[guitar riff]
[motorcycle engine revs]
271
00:09:53,401 --> 00:09:55,638
- Wait, I don't understand
why we're on a lot.
272
00:09:55,737 --> 00:09:57,601
Like, I've shot here before.
- I know.
273
00:09:57,706 --> 00:09:58,942
This was supposed to be
274
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,409
a normal family dinner
at Applebee's?
275
00:10:00,508 --> 00:10:02,778
- Oh, "Normal Family Dinner
at Applebee's."
276
00:10:02,877 --> 00:10:06,415
That's Stage 7, that way.
- Wait. What?
277
00:10:06,514 --> 00:10:08,051
- Move, move, move.
278
00:10:08,144 --> 00:10:10,386
- Oh, my God.
279
00:10:10,484 --> 00:10:13,189
- All right, everyone,
my servers, my diners,
280
00:10:13,287 --> 00:10:16,025
Pat should be here in five.
Thank you all for doing this.
281
00:10:16,124 --> 00:10:17,621
If everything goes smoothly,
282
00:10:17,725 --> 00:10:19,128
we should be able
to give Pat Dubek
283
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:22,431
a nice, normal dinner
with her family, huh?
284
00:10:22,530 --> 00:10:23,432
[applause]
- All right.
285
00:10:23,532 --> 00:10:24,968
- Holy shit.
286
00:10:25,065 --> 00:10:28,632
Simu Liu recreated
an entire Applebee's for her?
287
00:10:28,736 --> 00:10:30,806
This is insane.
- Hey, welcome.
288
00:10:30,906 --> 00:10:32,208
Pat's children, yes.
289
00:10:32,307 --> 00:10:33,910
We have you right here
at the hero table.
290
00:10:34,007 --> 00:10:36,779
- Sorry, so this is, like,
a full production?
291
00:10:36,878 --> 00:10:39,082
All of you, you're actors?
- Yep.
292
00:10:39,181 --> 00:10:41,517
Simu's goal is to give your mom
the normal dinner
293
00:10:41,610 --> 00:10:43,119
she actually
can't have anymore.
294
00:10:43,218 --> 00:10:45,088
Which reminds me, guys,
in reality,
295
00:10:45,186 --> 00:10:47,623
Pat would be swarmed
in a place like this,
296
00:10:47,723 --> 00:10:49,492
so unless you are Katrina,
297
00:10:49,590 --> 00:10:51,194
your job is to ignore her.
298
00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:52,895
Don't look at Pat,
don't talk to Pat.
299
00:10:52,994 --> 00:10:54,931
As far as you're concerned,
Pat doesn't exist.
300
00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,066
- Wait, so she doesn't know
301
00:10:57,165 --> 00:10:58,767
this is all fake?
Isn't that fucked?
302
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,937
- Oh, and guys at the bar...
- Uh--
303
00:11:01,036 --> 00:11:02,438
- Well, I guess
I hope this works.
304
00:11:02,537 --> 00:11:05,174
- I mean, I do think Mom needs
a normal night,
305
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:08,044
or at least to feel like
she can still have one?
306
00:11:08,143 --> 00:11:10,914
- Oh, hey, such good news
about Curtis' show.
307
00:11:11,013 --> 00:11:12,381
- What? Is it bad?
308
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,817
- No, I said "good news."
309
00:11:14,915 --> 00:11:16,953
It's 100% Fresh
on Rotten Tomatoes.
310
00:11:17,051 --> 00:11:19,288
- What? 100%
- Yeah.
311
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,624
I mean, only one review
is out so far,
312
00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:23,659
but it's Fresh.
Eee!
313
00:11:23,758 --> 00:11:25,929
- Yes, yes, that's amazing.
- Yeah.
314
00:11:26,026 --> 00:11:28,131
- Um, I just need to run
to the bathroom real quick.
315
00:11:28,229 --> 00:11:30,066
- Okay, places, everyone,
places.
316
00:11:30,164 --> 00:11:32,468
And remember, you're at dinner,
so have fun,
317
00:11:32,567 --> 00:11:34,170
uh, but also, it's Applebee's,
318
00:11:34,269 --> 00:11:36,472
so there should be
some deadness behind the eyes,
319
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:38,241
kinda like, uh,
"We could've eaten anywhere.
320
00:11:38,339 --> 00:11:40,176
Why'd we choose here?"
sort of thing.
321
00:11:40,275 --> 00:11:42,946
Here we go.
[door creaks shut]
322
00:11:44,779 --> 00:11:46,582
- [gasps]
[heartbeat thumping]
323
00:11:46,682 --> 00:11:48,151
[tense music]
324
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:49,018
No.
325
00:11:49,117 --> 00:11:50,553
[breathing heavily]
326
00:11:50,652 --> 00:11:53,589
Can it be?
327
00:11:53,682 --> 00:11:56,692
"A delightful romp"?
Oh, my God.
328
00:11:56,792 --> 00:11:58,861
Curtis' bad show...
329
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:00,563
[voice distorted]
Is good?
330
00:12:00,663 --> 00:12:02,198
[plates clatter]
331
00:12:02,297 --> 00:12:04,067
Oh, hi. Sorry.
332
00:12:04,165 --> 00:12:07,603
- Okay, okay, Pat's here.
And action, everyone!
333
00:12:07,703 --> 00:12:09,105
[bell rings]
334
00:12:09,204 --> 00:12:11,474
[indistinct chatter]
[mellow music playing]
335
00:12:11,573 --> 00:12:13,676
- [laughs]
Whoa.
336
00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:15,945
This looks so real.
337
00:12:16,044 --> 00:12:19,916
- And we are here. Ta-da!
338
00:12:20,014 --> 00:12:22,018
Surprise!
- What?
339
00:12:22,117 --> 00:12:25,521
Oh, my God, Simu. Applebee's!
- Yep.
340
00:12:25,620 --> 00:12:28,157
Just a normal family dinner
at Applebee's,
341
00:12:28,256 --> 00:12:30,426
just like you wanted.
- But how?
342
00:12:30,524 --> 00:12:32,161
And with no security?
343
00:12:32,260 --> 00:12:34,758
- Well, I called ahead
and asked everyone to be cool,
344
00:12:34,862 --> 00:12:37,100
just like you suggested.
- What, really?
345
00:12:37,199 --> 00:12:39,102
I mean, I told you
that could maybe work.
346
00:12:39,201 --> 00:12:41,070
[gasps]
Brookie! Cary!
347
00:12:41,169 --> 00:12:42,705
- Hey!
- Isn't this wild?
348
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,240
I'm in Applebee's!
349
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,142
- Yeah, happy birthday.
- Oh!
350
00:12:46,241 --> 00:12:49,078
Simu just asked everyone
to be cool for the night.
351
00:12:49,177 --> 00:12:50,379
- Yeah, such a good idea.
352
00:12:50,478 --> 00:12:52,281
- Yeah, Simu Liu
is such a good daddy.
353
00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:54,117
- You know I'm, like, three
years younger than you, right?
354
00:12:54,215 --> 00:12:55,818
- Eee! I just can't believe it.
355
00:12:55,911 --> 00:12:59,722
No one's looking at me
or taking a picture.
356
00:12:59,815 --> 00:13:01,390
Everyone's just talking
to themselves...
357
00:13:01,489 --> 00:13:02,992
[actors repeating
"peas and carrots"]
358
00:13:03,091 --> 00:13:04,427
Saying "peas and carrots"
a lot.
359
00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:07,263
[actors repeating
"peas and carrots"]
360
00:13:07,362 --> 00:13:09,265
I guess
we'll have to order those.
361
00:13:09,364 --> 00:13:12,601
Anyway, hooray!
Let's start this normal dinner.
362
00:13:12,701 --> 00:13:14,370
- Okay.
363
00:13:14,470 --> 00:13:15,738
- Er, wait, Cary,
364
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:19,475
is that your boyfriend
with a knife behind the bar?
365
00:13:19,574 --> 00:13:22,445
- Oh, good, I wasn't sure
if he could make it.
366
00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:25,181
And yes, he is in character
as a serial killer,
367
00:13:25,279 --> 00:13:27,016
so he will be stalking us
all night.
368
00:13:27,115 --> 00:13:28,812
Just ignore.
[chuckles]
369
00:13:28,917 --> 00:13:30,920
- Okay.
That's fine, I guess.
370
00:13:31,019 --> 00:13:33,189
And at least everything else
is normal.
371
00:13:33,288 --> 00:13:34,924
- Ooh, yay! Chase is here.
372
00:13:35,023 --> 00:13:37,026
- Hey, everyone,
just wanted to hop on here
373
00:13:37,125 --> 00:13:38,962
and tell all my fans
to suck my dick.
374
00:13:39,060 --> 00:13:41,330
That's right.
This is how I talk now.
375
00:13:41,429 --> 00:13:44,233
So if you're my fan,
you're a bitch, and you suck.
376
00:13:44,332 --> 00:13:47,403
- Oh, no. What's going on?
Why does Chasey look like that?
377
00:13:47,502 --> 00:13:49,338
- Don't worry, he's just
pretending to be bad
378
00:13:49,437 --> 00:13:51,340
so his fans will side with Pam
in the breakup
379
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:53,009
and not try and dox her
to death.
380
00:13:53,107 --> 00:13:55,378
- Yes, otherwise Pam goes
to live in the woods.
381
00:13:55,477 --> 00:13:57,841
- Yeah, and I really
don't wanna do that.
382
00:13:57,946 --> 00:13:59,515
- No, I can imagine.
383
00:13:59,614 --> 00:14:01,845
- So yeah, we will--
I am actually doing
384
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:03,987
a very good thing
for another woman.
385
00:14:04,085 --> 00:14:05,955
And other than
a couple Instagram Lives,
386
00:14:06,048 --> 00:14:07,851
we can still have
a totally normal family dinner.
387
00:14:07,956 --> 00:14:09,558
- Anyway, idiots,
imagine trying
388
00:14:09,652 --> 00:14:11,027
to share a life with all this.
389
00:14:11,126 --> 00:14:13,096
Guess it makes sense
if you guys side with Pam
390
00:14:13,194 --> 00:14:15,164
'cause as the new tattoo
on my ass says,
391
00:14:15,263 --> 00:14:16,860
I stink.
[phone clicks]
392
00:14:16,965 --> 00:14:19,135
God, it feels so weird
acting like that.
393
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,171
Oh, hey, Mom. Happy birthday.
- Oh, thank you, Chasey.
394
00:14:22,270 --> 00:14:24,073
And you promise me
all those are fake?
395
00:14:24,172 --> 00:14:25,869
'Cause they're awful, honey.
You look dead.
396
00:14:25,974 --> 00:14:27,643
- Mom, they're awful
on purpose.
397
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,912
Streeter picked them out.
398
00:14:29,010 --> 00:14:30,313
- Yeah, yeah,
I worked very hard
399
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:33,016
to find the extra right
bad ones.
400
00:14:33,115 --> 00:14:35,879
My fave is probably
this one right here
401
00:14:35,984 --> 00:14:37,686
that simply says "piss."
402
00:14:37,785 --> 00:14:41,290
- Yes, I can see that it does
say "piss" on my son's chest.
403
00:14:41,389 --> 00:14:43,626
- And this one here is Piglet,
404
00:14:43,725 --> 00:14:44,860
but with tits.
405
00:14:44,959 --> 00:14:46,095
And then under his arm
406
00:14:46,194 --> 00:14:47,563
is Eeyore, but with tits.
407
00:14:47,662 --> 00:14:49,966
And on his back is the day
his dad died.
408
00:14:50,064 --> 00:14:51,200
- I'm sorry,
how is that one bad?
409
00:14:51,299 --> 00:14:52,768
- I mean,
you didn't let me finish.
410
00:14:52,861 --> 00:14:54,737
With tits. Bing-bong.
[chuckles]
411
00:14:54,835 --> 00:14:59,108
- Anyway, very nice
to meet you...Simu Liu.
412
00:14:59,207 --> 00:15:01,044
You take good care of my Patty,
okay?
413
00:15:01,137 --> 00:15:02,678
- Sorry, can we please stop
talking about tits?
414
00:15:02,777 --> 00:15:05,949
I'm just trying to have a nice,
normal family dinner.
415
00:15:06,048 --> 00:15:07,216
- Absolutely.
- You got it.
416
00:15:07,315 --> 00:15:09,252
- Hi, there.
My name's Katrina,
417
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:11,220
and I'll be your server
this evening.
418
00:15:11,319 --> 00:15:12,821
- Oh, nice to meet you,
Katrina.
419
00:15:12,920 --> 00:15:15,758
- But I think you should know
I'm actually an actor.
420
00:15:15,857 --> 00:15:17,093
- Oh, wow, wonderful.
421
00:15:17,192 --> 00:15:18,427
You know, my son, Cary,
was a server
422
00:15:18,526 --> 00:15:20,196
while he was trying
to make it too.
423
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:22,398
And now he has,
and he's so happy.
424
00:15:22,497 --> 00:15:24,667
- "Girlies" is
"positively charming"?
425
00:15:24,765 --> 00:15:28,337
- Anyway, I am gonna have
your big, fat steak, please,
426
00:15:28,436 --> 00:15:30,273
and I don't see it on the menu,
but I'm gonna have
427
00:15:30,371 --> 00:15:32,208
the peas and carrots
that everyone's talking about,
428
00:15:32,307 --> 00:15:35,940
sometimes at the same time
on top of each other?
429
00:15:36,044 --> 00:15:38,247
- Okay, I guess--sounds good.
430
00:15:38,346 --> 00:15:40,516
Let me go check on those.
- Okay, good.
431
00:15:40,616 --> 00:15:42,085
- Cary Dubek!
432
00:15:42,184 --> 00:15:44,220
Oh, there you are.
433
00:15:44,318 --> 00:15:46,489
Fuck!
- What? Honey, who is this now?
434
00:15:46,587 --> 00:15:48,224
- Wait, what are you
doing here?
435
00:15:48,323 --> 00:15:50,226
Also, how did you find me?
436
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,594
- We need to redo your ADR.
437
00:15:51,692 --> 00:15:55,131
Apparently,
someone lost the drive.
438
00:15:55,230 --> 00:15:58,434
Not sure if he told you,
but his new show is a mess.
439
00:15:58,532 --> 00:16:00,703
People don't even want
their names on this show.
440
00:16:00,801 --> 00:16:03,072
- Oh, honey,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
441
00:16:03,171 --> 00:16:05,608
- So it's, like, for sure bad?
Still?
442
00:16:05,707 --> 00:16:08,344
- Okay, here are your teeth,
and they said that
443
00:16:08,443 --> 00:16:11,480
you didn't really sound like
you were on a horse last time,
444
00:16:11,579 --> 00:16:13,849
so maybe this time,
you can just
445
00:16:13,947 --> 00:16:16,352
hop on somebody's back
and ride 'em like a horsey.
446
00:16:16,451 --> 00:16:18,121
- Oh, you can ride me
like a horsey, bud.
447
00:16:18,219 --> 00:16:20,056
- I'm absolutely not
doing that, Simu Liu.
448
00:16:20,155 --> 00:16:21,057
- No, no, no,
don't be ridiculous.
449
00:16:21,156 --> 00:16:22,125
I'm an actor, okay?
450
00:16:22,223 --> 00:16:23,692
I totally get ADR, and plus,
451
00:16:23,791 --> 00:16:25,761
Marvel pays me to stay jacked
all the time anyway.
452
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,296
Pretty sure I could
take your weight easy.
453
00:16:27,395 --> 00:16:29,132
What are you, like, 110, 115?
454
00:16:29,230 --> 00:16:30,233
Seriously. Ride me, Cary.
455
00:16:30,331 --> 00:16:31,767
- Wait--
- Ride me!
456
00:16:31,866 --> 00:16:34,070
- Can we at least go outside
where it's quieter?
457
00:16:34,169 --> 00:16:36,539
- You mean Times Square?
- Right.
458
00:16:36,638 --> 00:16:38,341
Outside is, uh,
is Times Square.
459
00:16:38,439 --> 00:16:39,642
- Sure is.
[chuckles]
460
00:16:39,741 --> 00:16:40,910
- So I guess
I have to do it here.
461
00:16:41,009 --> 00:16:42,345
- Not a prob.
462
00:16:42,443 --> 00:16:44,847
I will just cover you
with this sound blanket.
463
00:16:44,946 --> 00:16:46,049
- [sighs]
- Okay.
464
00:16:46,148 --> 00:16:49,718
Whenever you're ready,
go ahead.
465
00:16:49,818 --> 00:16:52,055
- Yes, onward ho!
466
00:16:52,154 --> 00:16:54,757
To the Port City of Gargool!
- Aww, Cary.
467
00:16:54,856 --> 00:16:57,160
Now both you and Mom
have ridden the star
468
00:16:57,258 --> 00:16:58,727
of a Marvel movie.
[plate clatters]
469
00:16:58,827 --> 00:17:00,163
- Uh-oh. Brooke.
470
00:17:00,261 --> 00:17:01,764
We have a code red.
- What? What's wrong?
471
00:17:01,863 --> 00:17:03,466
- Uh, comments are coming in
about Chase's new vibe,
472
00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,969
and his fans freaking love it?
473
00:17:06,067 --> 00:17:09,172
- What? But he's vile!
474
00:17:09,271 --> 00:17:12,241
"Oh, my God,
Chase is so sexy now"?
475
00:17:12,340 --> 00:17:13,842
"I love Chase's tattoos
476
00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:16,545
because a body's hottest
when you can't see it"?
477
00:17:16,644 --> 00:17:18,747
"I never got Chase's appeal
before,
478
00:17:18,846 --> 00:17:21,450
but now I wanna bleep
his bleep-bleep"?
479
00:17:21,549 --> 00:17:24,253
- Honey, please.
- Shh! I'm getting room tone.
480
00:17:24,352 --> 00:17:26,755
- And his fans
are also madder now at Pam?
481
00:17:26,855 --> 00:17:28,224
- Oh, no.
- They are?
482
00:17:28,322 --> 00:17:29,658
- "How could Pam break up
with Chase
483
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:31,055
when he is this hot?"
484
00:17:31,154 --> 00:17:32,628
"We should kill Pam
by tomorrow's end."
485
00:17:32,728 --> 00:17:33,829
"Also, I know for a fact
486
00:17:33,928 --> 00:17:35,531
"Pam's aunt
works at Kaiser in Modesto.
487
00:17:35,629 --> 00:17:38,534
Maybe kill her too.
IDK, just spitballing."
488
00:17:38,634 --> 00:17:39,802
- Fuck!
489
00:17:39,900 --> 00:17:41,404
We forgot that everyone
loves a bad boy now.
490
00:17:41,502 --> 00:17:42,972
Like, it's actually
hot and good
491
00:17:43,071 --> 00:17:44,473
to be ugly and bad.
492
00:17:44,572 --> 00:17:47,071
- It's okay; the problem
is just the boy part.
493
00:17:47,175 --> 00:17:48,744
He shouldn't be a bad boy.
494
00:17:48,843 --> 00:17:50,914
We need to make him...
495
00:17:51,012 --> 00:17:52,481
a bad dude.
- Yes!
496
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:54,017
- No--
- Chase, come with me.
497
00:17:54,115 --> 00:17:55,484
- Uh-uh--
- Don't worry, Pam.
498
00:17:55,583 --> 00:17:57,586
We're still gonna help you.
It's what I do.
499
00:17:57,686 --> 00:17:59,122
- Okay! All set!
500
00:17:59,220 --> 00:18:01,490
- Great.
[sighs]
501
00:18:01,589 --> 00:18:03,226
I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
502
00:18:03,324 --> 00:18:06,295
- Thank you, sir.
You made an excellent horsey.
503
00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:08,932
- Fuck. Just fucking kill me.
504
00:18:09,031 --> 00:18:11,167
[sighs]
[phone clicks]
505
00:18:11,266 --> 00:18:13,069
- And she ordered
peas and carrots,
506
00:18:13,168 --> 00:18:14,503
but we don't have that.
- [sighs]
507
00:18:14,602 --> 00:18:16,539
Okay, I'll just send a PA
to the store and...
508
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,874
- Ugh. God.
- Have him buy a bag of peas...
509
00:18:18,973 --> 00:18:20,643
I think there's a Whole Foods
in Williamsburg.
510
00:18:20,742 --> 00:18:22,445
Can someone print me out
a petty cash form, please?
511
00:18:22,543 --> 00:18:26,382
- Also, I still do think
she should know what's going on.
512
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:27,650
- Hey, Curtis.
- Hey.
513
00:18:27,748 --> 00:18:29,485
- I was just calling
'cause, uh,
514
00:18:29,583 --> 00:18:32,288
I'm not sure
I'm gonna be able to make,
515
00:18:32,387 --> 00:18:34,623
uh, your viewing party anymore.
516
00:18:34,718 --> 00:18:36,059
- Ooh, really?
517
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:39,162
- Yeah, yeah, it's just
I have this dinner for my mom,
518
00:18:39,255 --> 00:18:40,863
and I thought I was gonna
be able to pop out,
519
00:18:40,961 --> 00:18:43,900
but now it just feels--
feels a little rude.
520
00:18:43,999 --> 00:18:45,201
- Okay.
- But hey.
521
00:18:45,299 --> 00:18:46,802
Congrats on the show.
522
00:18:46,902 --> 00:18:48,437
I wish I could be there.
523
00:18:48,536 --> 00:18:50,339
- Yeah, I mean, if--
if you can't make it,
524
00:18:50,438 --> 00:18:52,575
then you can't make it, so...
- Yeah, I just--
525
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:55,744
- Oh, hi, sweetheart.
Are you okay?
526
00:18:55,843 --> 00:18:57,246
You just seemed
a little upset when--
527
00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:59,983
- No, no, no, I'm--
I'm totally fine.
528
00:19:00,081 --> 00:19:02,318
Uh, why don't you just
go back to your table?
529
00:19:02,417 --> 00:19:04,620
Now.
- Okay.
530
00:19:04,720 --> 00:19:06,089
[printer whirrs]
531
00:19:06,187 --> 00:19:07,957
Is there a printer in here?
532
00:19:08,056 --> 00:19:09,425
- Oh, no, no, no.
533
00:19:09,524 --> 00:19:11,494
I mean, this is an Applebee's
in Times Square,
534
00:19:11,592 --> 00:19:13,629
so who knows
what people do in here.
535
00:19:13,729 --> 00:19:15,231
Okay, bye now.
536
00:19:15,331 --> 00:19:17,366
- Okay.
537
00:19:19,067 --> 00:19:20,970
[gasps]
- Hello, Pat.
538
00:19:21,069 --> 00:19:22,071
- Jesus.
539
00:19:22,170 --> 00:19:24,607
- [sighs]
540
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:27,010
- Hey, did you see the sad news
about Curtis' show?
541
00:19:27,108 --> 00:19:29,378
- Yes, I know.
It's 100% Fresh.
542
00:19:29,477 --> 00:19:30,980
- Okay, what are
these reactions?
543
00:19:31,079 --> 00:19:32,176
I said "sad."
544
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:33,549
The rest of the reviews
came in,
545
00:19:33,648 --> 00:19:35,751
like, 95 of them,
and they're all bad.
546
00:19:35,850 --> 00:19:38,021
That first review
was the only good one.
547
00:19:38,120 --> 00:19:41,257
- Oh. No.
548
00:19:41,356 --> 00:19:43,292
Really?
What exactly do they say?
549
00:19:43,391 --> 00:19:45,461
Like, um, verbatim.
550
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:48,331
- Hi there, I just wanted
to apologize for my family.
551
00:19:48,430 --> 00:19:50,967
I feel like we're making
quite the scene tonight.
552
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,435
- Oh, um...
553
00:19:52,533 --> 00:19:54,198
Peas and carr--er--I--
554
00:19:54,302 --> 00:19:56,239
- Like, here you are, trying
to run a normal establishment,
555
00:19:56,338 --> 00:19:58,707
and my family comes in
and acts insane.
556
00:19:58,806 --> 00:20:01,677
So I wanna pay
for everyone's meals.
557
00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:04,413
- Oh, um, using--
558
00:20:04,512 --> 00:20:06,315
using this machine.
- Uh, yeah.
559
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,583
You can just run it
in front of me.
560
00:20:07,681 --> 00:20:09,152
I'll just wait here
while you do it.
561
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,453
- Yes, sure.
562
00:20:10,552 --> 00:20:14,290
I'll do that...now.
563
00:20:14,389 --> 00:20:16,459
Beep, boop.
564
00:20:16,557 --> 00:20:19,595
Okay, you're all set.
565
00:20:19,694 --> 00:20:23,266
- Sorry, I just saw you
slide the card on nothing
566
00:20:23,364 --> 00:20:25,401
and say "beep, boop"
with your mouth.
567
00:20:25,500 --> 00:20:27,937
- [laughs] I'm sorry about her.
She's new.
568
00:20:28,035 --> 00:20:30,673
Anyways, hi, Ms. Dubek,
I am the general manager,
569
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:32,108
and I'm actually
on the phone
570
00:20:32,207 --> 00:20:33,943
with Mr. Applebee's right now.
571
00:20:34,042 --> 00:20:35,711
He wanted me to tell you
that everyone's meals
572
00:20:35,810 --> 00:20:39,315
are on the house tonight
in honor of your birthday.
573
00:20:39,413 --> 00:20:41,985
Thank you, sir.
I just told her, sir.
574
00:20:42,083 --> 00:20:44,020
Uh-huh, ta-ta, sir.
575
00:20:44,118 --> 00:20:46,889
Yeah, so there's, um,
no need to pay at all.
576
00:20:46,989 --> 00:20:50,293
You can just, uh,
head back to your table.
577
00:20:50,391 --> 00:20:52,395
- Sorry, so that was
Mr. Applebee's?
578
00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:55,698
- Yes, Mr...
Randolph Applebee's.
579
00:20:55,796 --> 00:20:57,466
Anyway, enjoy your
family dinner.
580
00:20:57,565 --> 00:20:59,102
Your food will be right out.
581
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,970
- Okay.
582
00:21:01,069 --> 00:21:02,571
Thank you.
583
00:21:05,406 --> 00:21:06,742
[muttering]
We got it!
584
00:21:09,477 --> 00:21:10,579
- Oh, here's a good one,
here's a good one.
585
00:21:10,679 --> 00:21:12,381
"Entertainment Weekly"
586
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:14,650
calls it
"dismal and embarrassing."
587
00:21:14,750 --> 00:21:17,420
- Okay, "EW," make it personal.
588
00:21:17,519 --> 00:21:18,487
- Oh, and "Vulture"
wants to know,
589
00:21:18,586 --> 00:21:20,089
"was this character a woman,
590
00:21:20,187 --> 00:21:22,286
and they just turned it into
a gay guy last minute?"
591
00:21:22,390 --> 00:21:24,360
Uh, yes, they did, bitch.
[laughter]
592
00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:25,628
- Drag her, "Vulture"!
593
00:21:25,726 --> 00:21:28,797
[knock at door]
- Oh, my God!
594
00:21:28,897 --> 00:21:30,533
Flowers for me?
595
00:21:30,633 --> 00:21:33,169
all: Ooh!
- [laughs]
596
00:21:33,268 --> 00:21:35,771
- Hey!
- Ooh, Cary.
597
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:37,301
I thought you couldn't
come anymore.
598
00:21:37,405 --> 00:21:39,875
- Oh, no, I figured it out.
Hooray!
599
00:21:39,975 --> 00:21:42,645
all: Hey.
- Happy watch party, everyone.
600
00:21:42,743 --> 00:21:44,680
Yeah, I just had this little
dinner thing for my mom,
601
00:21:44,779 --> 00:21:46,615
and I wasn't sure
I could pop out early,
602
00:21:46,714 --> 00:21:48,117
but then I thought
about it more, and I was like,
603
00:21:48,216 --> 00:21:49,485
"I can pop out early."
604
00:21:49,584 --> 00:21:52,621
Gotta be here to support
your show, right?
605
00:21:54,222 --> 00:21:56,625
- Go fuck yourself, Cary.
606
00:21:58,527 --> 00:22:00,063
- Wait, what?
607
00:22:00,161 --> 00:22:02,231
- [sighs]
So weird.
608
00:22:02,330 --> 00:22:04,533
[door clicks close]
609
00:22:04,633 --> 00:22:07,536
[mellow music playing]
610
00:22:07,636 --> 00:22:09,372
♪ ♪
611
00:22:09,471 --> 00:22:11,074
Sorry, ma'am?
612
00:22:11,172 --> 00:22:14,777
I just--have you been
to this Applebee's before?
613
00:22:14,876 --> 00:22:16,946
I know this is
gonna sound crazy,
614
00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,382
but I--I just--
I feel like something's off.
615
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:22,485
[phone rings]
Oh, sorry.
616
00:22:22,583 --> 00:22:24,120
[phone chimes]
Hi, Chasey.
617
00:22:24,219 --> 00:22:25,955
Wait, what is this?
What are you wearing?
618
00:22:26,053 --> 00:22:27,924
- Hey, Mom,
I'm here to challenge you
619
00:22:28,021 --> 00:22:31,394
to box me live in Las Vegas
this Saturday.
620
00:22:31,493 --> 00:22:32,795
And guess what, Mom?
621
00:22:32,894 --> 00:22:34,330
I'm gonna kick
your freakin' ass!
622
00:22:34,428 --> 00:22:36,099
- What? Is this real?
623
00:22:36,197 --> 00:22:37,766
Honey, I'm not boxing you.
624
00:22:37,865 --> 00:22:39,363
- You heard it.
My mom's a coward.
625
00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:41,104
Ahh!
- [gasps] It's working.
626
00:22:41,203 --> 00:22:43,772
People are commenting that
Chase seems deeply unwell.
627
00:22:43,872 --> 00:22:45,774
- Yes! Thank God.
- Wait, wait.
628
00:22:45,873 --> 00:22:48,344
They're also saying Pam
must have done this to him?
629
00:22:48,443 --> 00:22:49,612
- What?
- "Before Pam left,
630
00:22:49,711 --> 00:22:50,879
"Chase would've never tried
631
00:22:50,979 --> 00:22:52,881
to box his mother
in Las Vegas"?
632
00:22:52,981 --> 00:22:55,184
Oh, my God,
this country hates women.
633
00:22:55,278 --> 00:22:56,619
[laughs]
You almost gotta laugh.
634
00:22:56,717 --> 00:22:58,787
- Fuck!
So bad boy was nothing,
635
00:22:58,886 --> 00:23:01,824
and now bad dude's not enough,
which means...
636
00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:04,793
we need to make him a bad man.
637
00:23:04,892 --> 00:23:08,331
Someone I, as a woman,
could never support.
638
00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:10,433
Okay, Chase, listen closely.
639
00:23:10,531 --> 00:23:12,635
[phone clicks]
- [sighs]
640
00:23:12,734 --> 00:23:14,870
So sorry for all this chaos,
ma'am.
641
00:23:14,970 --> 00:23:18,007
[objects clatter]
Huh? Uh...
642
00:23:21,542 --> 00:23:24,780
[whispering]
What the fuck?
643
00:23:27,615 --> 00:23:30,019
[suspenseful music]
644
00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:33,689
[actors repeating
"peas and carrots"]
645
00:23:33,788 --> 00:23:35,858
- Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
646
00:23:35,958 --> 00:23:38,027
Peas and carrots.
Peas and carrots.
647
00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:41,464
- Mom, Mom! Hey! What's wrong?
- Is everything okay?
648
00:23:42,830 --> 00:23:45,368
- I think something weird
is going on in here.
649
00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:46,936
Have you guys noticed?
- What?
650
00:23:47,035 --> 00:23:48,704
- Seems pretty normal to me.
- Yeah.
651
00:23:48,802 --> 00:23:51,174
This is actually one
of the most normal experiences
652
00:23:51,272 --> 00:23:53,476
I've had in a restaurant.
653
00:23:53,574 --> 00:23:55,311
- I just--there was
some weird dummy
654
00:23:55,410 --> 00:23:57,346
in the bathroom just now,
and also,
655
00:23:57,440 --> 00:23:59,015
I don't know if you guys
have noticed,
656
00:23:59,112 --> 00:24:00,783
but everybody's been raving
about the peas and carrots,
657
00:24:00,881 --> 00:24:02,485
but no one's actually eating
the peas and carrots.
658
00:24:02,584 --> 00:24:04,420
I don't even think they have
peas and carrots on the menu--
659
00:24:04,519 --> 00:24:05,955
- All right, here we go.
660
00:24:06,053 --> 00:24:09,453
First things first,
our famous peas and carrots.
661
00:24:09,558 --> 00:24:10,726
- There we are.
662
00:24:10,824 --> 00:24:12,161
- She was just wondering
about those.
663
00:24:12,260 --> 00:24:13,457
- I bet.
- Oh!
664
00:24:13,562 --> 00:24:15,798
[bowl rattling]
665
00:24:16,798 --> 00:24:20,236
- Okay.
And here's your steak.
666
00:24:20,335 --> 00:24:22,205
I guess bon appétit.
667
00:24:22,303 --> 00:24:23,872
Back with the rest in a sec.
668
00:24:23,972 --> 00:24:26,009
- Okay.
[chuckles]
669
00:24:26,107 --> 00:24:28,111
I'm so sorry for acting crazy
a second ago.
670
00:24:28,210 --> 00:24:29,712
I guess they do have
peas and carrots.
671
00:24:29,811 --> 00:24:32,381
[all laughing]
I'm sorry, guys.
672
00:24:32,481 --> 00:24:34,478
Ah, ah.
673
00:24:36,184 --> 00:24:38,687
Mmm. Wow.
674
00:24:38,786 --> 00:24:40,990
This steak
is truly mouthwatering.
675
00:24:41,088 --> 00:24:42,486
I mean, it's, like,
the best steak I've ever had
676
00:24:42,590 --> 00:24:44,393
in my entire life.
- Mm.
677
00:24:44,487 --> 00:24:45,794
- So I guess I just have
one question.
678
00:24:45,894 --> 00:24:47,163
- Yeah?
- Where the fuck am I?
679
00:24:47,262 --> 00:24:48,164
- [gasps] Mom!
680
00:24:48,262 --> 00:24:49,398
- Curtis! Wha--
681
00:24:49,497 --> 00:24:51,567
wait, wait, hold on, what--
682
00:24:51,666 --> 00:24:54,270
what did I do?
- Cary.
683
00:24:54,368 --> 00:24:56,105
I'd like you to leave.
684
00:24:56,204 --> 00:24:57,907
- Wha--what the--
685
00:24:58,005 --> 00:24:59,708
what are you talking about?
That's insane.
686
00:24:59,808 --> 00:25:01,610
I'm--I'm here to support you.
687
00:25:01,709 --> 00:25:03,879
- No, you're not.
You're not here to support me.
688
00:25:03,978 --> 00:25:05,581
If you were actually
trying to support me,
689
00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,450
you wouldn't have bailed when
you thought my show was good
690
00:25:07,543 --> 00:25:10,586
and then shown up
once you knew it was bad.
691
00:25:10,685 --> 00:25:13,289
- What?
That--that's not what happened.
692
00:25:13,388 --> 00:25:15,391
I was literally at a dinner
for my mom,
693
00:25:15,490 --> 00:25:16,892
and it felt rude to leave her.
694
00:25:16,992 --> 00:25:18,627
- Yeah--but you did leave.
695
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:22,065
So what, what stopped you
from feeling rude?
696
00:25:22,164 --> 00:25:23,866
- I--
- I think you saw the first
697
00:25:23,965 --> 00:25:26,735
Rotten Tomatoes review
and everyone posting about it
698
00:25:26,834 --> 00:25:28,637
and got jealous
that the show was good,
699
00:25:28,736 --> 00:25:30,739
and you couldn't stand
to come anymore.
700
00:25:30,838 --> 00:25:32,942
And then when the bad reviews
went up,
701
00:25:33,041 --> 00:25:35,411
you did feel like coming, so--
702
00:25:35,510 --> 00:25:37,813
- You think I went through
all those mental gymnastics?
703
00:25:37,912 --> 00:25:40,649
It's actually sad
that my friend would think
704
00:25:40,748 --> 00:25:42,085
that I would do that.
I'm not--
705
00:25:42,183 --> 00:25:45,922
- It's sad that I know
my friend did that.
706
00:25:46,020 --> 00:25:47,991
And I never would've jumped
to that conclusion last year,
707
00:25:48,089 --> 00:25:49,553
but this year,
I'm jumping to it,
708
00:25:49,657 --> 00:25:52,661
'cause I--I--I do.
I--I--[laughs]
709
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,030
I do think
that's what happened.
710
00:25:54,129 --> 00:25:55,431
- Well, it's not!
711
00:25:55,530 --> 00:25:57,633
I haven't even checked
Rotten Tomatoes once all day.
712
00:25:57,732 --> 00:26:00,703
- Well, then,
show me your phone.
713
00:26:00,803 --> 00:26:02,605
- What?
- Open your phone
714
00:26:02,704 --> 00:26:07,176
and show me the last page
on your browser.
715
00:26:07,275 --> 00:26:08,912
- Sorry, can you repeat
the question?
716
00:26:09,010 --> 00:26:10,479
[plate clatters]
- Where am I?
717
00:26:10,579 --> 00:26:11,614
Where the fuck am I?
718
00:26:11,712 --> 00:26:13,182
- Hey, sweetie, just calm down.
719
00:26:13,281 --> 00:26:14,984
- Mom, you are
a very famous woman
720
00:26:15,083 --> 00:26:16,986
holding people at knifepoint
in an Applebee's.
721
00:26:17,085 --> 00:26:18,321
[actors repeating
"peas and carrots"]
722
00:26:18,420 --> 00:26:20,123
- You. What is going on here?
723
00:26:20,221 --> 00:26:22,091
- Peas and carrots, peas and--
- Hello! Talk to me!
724
00:26:22,190 --> 00:26:23,792
- [whispering]
They told us not to.
725
00:26:23,891 --> 00:26:25,728
both: Peas and carrots.
- What? Who's "they"?
726
00:26:25,827 --> 00:26:27,363
Who is "they"?
727
00:26:27,462 --> 00:26:28,831
- Don't worry, nobody can talk
about any of this.
728
00:26:28,930 --> 00:26:30,099
They all signed NDAs.
- Who did?
729
00:26:30,198 --> 00:26:31,767
For what, Simu?
- Uh...
730
00:26:31,865 --> 00:26:33,769
- Uh, okay, Mom,
why don't we just take a breath
731
00:26:33,868 --> 00:26:35,871
and enjoy your nice,
normal family dinner?
732
00:26:35,971 --> 00:26:37,173
- Oh, my God. Why is nobody--
733
00:26:37,272 --> 00:26:38,841
[actors repeating
"peas and carrots"]
734
00:26:38,939 --> 00:26:41,310
- I'll talk to her.
Uh, hey, Pat. Oh, shit.
735
00:26:41,409 --> 00:26:42,845
- We're not in Times Square,
are we?
736
00:26:42,945 --> 00:26:44,447
Oh, God, none of this is real.
737
00:26:44,546 --> 00:26:46,649
- What are you talking about?
Babe, of course it is.
738
00:26:46,747 --> 00:26:47,951
- Hi, everyone,
I just wanted you all
739
00:26:48,050 --> 00:26:49,285
to meet my new girlfriend,
Everly.
740
00:26:49,384 --> 00:26:51,487
- What?
Chase has a new girlfriend?
741
00:26:51,580 --> 00:26:53,722
- Okay, no,
so this is not real.
742
00:26:53,822 --> 00:26:55,024
- The two of us met at church.
743
00:26:55,123 --> 00:26:56,759
That's right;
the Lord gave her to me.
744
00:26:56,858 --> 00:26:58,161
- No.
- And the thing that I love
745
00:26:58,260 --> 00:26:59,662
most about her is the way
she looks at me...
746
00:26:59,761 --> 00:27:01,030
- No.
- The way she worships me...
747
00:27:01,129 --> 00:27:02,365
- No.
- And the way she'll provide me
748
00:27:02,463 --> 00:27:03,627
with strong, healthy sons.
749
00:27:03,731 --> 00:27:05,134
- [gags]
- No, stop it, Chase!
750
00:27:05,233 --> 00:27:07,503
What are you doing?
This isn't normal!
751
00:27:07,602 --> 00:27:09,272
None of this is fucking normal!
752
00:27:09,370 --> 00:27:11,174
- No, Mom, this thing
with Chase is normal.
753
00:27:11,272 --> 00:27:13,576
It's so we don't have to send
Pam to the woods, remember?
754
00:27:13,674 --> 00:27:14,978
- Yeah, couldn't be
more normal.
755
00:27:15,077 --> 00:27:16,445
- No, no, this isn't right.
Where am I?
756
00:27:16,544 --> 00:27:18,181
- Oh, no, babe.
Oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no--
757
00:27:18,279 --> 00:27:20,950
- Ah! Brooke!
- Oh, my God, we're inside?
758
00:27:21,049 --> 00:27:22,218
- Brooke, Brooke, it worked.
759
00:27:22,316 --> 00:27:24,954
We got our first #TeamPam.
- We did?
760
00:27:25,052 --> 00:27:26,689
- Yes. "Oh, my God, eww,
what is this Christian shit?"
761
00:27:26,789 --> 00:27:28,057
- What the fuck?
762
00:27:28,156 --> 00:27:29,558
- "Thank God Pam got away,
this is cringe."
763
00:27:29,657 --> 00:27:31,694
- Yes!
- "I guess I'm #TeamPam."
764
00:27:31,793 --> 00:27:33,629
- Oh, my God. We did it!
765
00:27:33,729 --> 00:27:34,898
I did it!
766
00:27:34,996 --> 00:27:36,232
- [screams]
- Yep.
767
00:27:36,331 --> 00:27:38,662
You came up with the most
bad man there is.
768
00:27:38,767 --> 00:27:39,969
A good man.
769
00:27:40,068 --> 00:27:41,204
- I don't have to go
to the woods!
770
00:27:41,302 --> 00:27:43,106
- Yeah!
- I did a good thing!
771
00:27:43,204 --> 00:27:45,008
I did a good thing!
[laughs]
772
00:27:45,106 --> 00:27:46,809
- Sweetie, no!
[glass shatters]
773
00:27:46,909 --> 00:27:48,477
- Holy shit!
774
00:27:48,576 --> 00:27:50,079
Wait, no, Mom, this isn't safe.
775
00:27:50,178 --> 00:27:51,981
Just come back
and we'll explain.
776
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,950
- Oh, God, someone help me!
Please help me!
777
00:27:54,049 --> 00:27:56,519
- Hello, Mrs. Dubek.
I can help you.
778
00:27:56,619 --> 00:27:58,121
- No. Get away from me!
779
00:27:58,219 --> 00:27:59,956
Get the fuck away from me!
- Mom, this is crazy.
780
00:28:00,055 --> 00:28:01,357
- Mom, come back!
- Simu, do something!
781
00:28:01,456 --> 00:28:03,659
- Get me out of here!
Ah! What the fuck?
782
00:28:03,757 --> 00:28:05,628
Get me the fuck out!
[people yelling]
783
00:28:05,728 --> 00:28:07,163
[screams]
784
00:28:10,531 --> 00:28:12,301
[softly]
Oh, my God.
785
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:16,239
[radio buzzes]
- Pam has found out.
786
00:28:16,337 --> 00:28:18,441
- I was right.
787
00:28:18,539 --> 00:28:21,410
This was fake.
[panting]
788
00:28:21,510 --> 00:28:24,213
You're actors?
789
00:28:24,307 --> 00:28:26,415
You're all actors?
790
00:28:26,509 --> 00:28:29,218
- I did try to tell you, girl.
791
00:28:29,317 --> 00:28:32,021
- So come on. Let's see it.
- [stammering]
792
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:35,291
Okay, you know what? No.
I'm not showing you my phone.
793
00:28:35,390 --> 00:28:37,093
I might have porn up.
- Oh, my G--
794
00:28:37,192 --> 00:28:38,761
we both know
you don't have porn up.
795
00:28:38,860 --> 00:28:41,130
- [stammers]
- Fuck.
796
00:28:41,224 --> 00:28:42,698
Fuck, Cary.
797
00:28:42,798 --> 00:28:45,034
I just, like, wanted you to be
798
00:28:45,133 --> 00:28:48,732
fuckin' happy for me
as my friend, but you can't.
799
00:28:48,831 --> 00:28:51,507
Like, you probably
can't be happy for me.
800
00:28:51,606 --> 00:28:52,909
You didn't wanna come tonight
801
00:28:53,008 --> 00:28:54,843
because you were worried
I was getting something,
802
00:28:54,937 --> 00:28:56,845
that I was gonna have a win.
- That's not true!
803
00:28:56,945 --> 00:28:58,447
I want you to have wins.
804
00:28:58,546 --> 00:29:01,017
I helped you get "Gay Minute"
and "Age Net Worth Feet"!
805
00:29:01,116 --> 00:29:02,285
All I do is support you!
806
00:29:02,383 --> 00:29:05,088
- You support me
when I'm below you!
807
00:29:05,187 --> 00:29:07,156
You're happy for me
when I'm below you,
808
00:29:07,255 --> 00:29:09,458
not when you think
that I might be your equal,
809
00:29:09,557 --> 00:29:11,360
or, God forbid, above you.
810
00:29:11,459 --> 00:29:13,829
And you're in luck
'cause my show sucks,
811
00:29:13,929 --> 00:29:16,299
so back below ya, baby.
812
00:29:16,397 --> 00:29:19,068
- So what, you ju--
you just think I'm a monster?
813
00:29:19,167 --> 00:29:21,804
- I--I tried to be patient.
814
00:29:21,904 --> 00:29:23,372
But we don't hang out anymore.
815
00:29:23,471 --> 00:29:26,009
And when we do,
it is only about you.
816
00:29:26,106 --> 00:29:28,711
But then last month,
when we came to your movie,
817
00:29:28,804 --> 00:29:30,079
you wouldn't even
get a drink afterward
818
00:29:30,178 --> 00:29:31,981
because you said
you had to sleep.
819
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:34,583
- I did have to sleep.
820
00:29:34,683 --> 00:29:36,685
- Okay.
821
00:29:36,785 --> 00:29:39,122
Okay.
822
00:29:39,221 --> 00:29:40,784
Um...
823
00:29:40,889 --> 00:29:43,492
You know what?
I'm 35 years old.
824
00:29:43,591 --> 00:29:46,062
And I want good friends
in my life.
825
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,265
And I have good friends
in my life, and--
826
00:29:49,363 --> 00:29:53,136
and I don't think
you're one of them now.
827
00:29:53,235 --> 00:29:54,837
So, um...
828
00:29:54,937 --> 00:29:58,441
yeah, I want you to go.
829
00:29:58,540 --> 00:29:59,742
- Okay.
830
00:29:59,841 --> 00:30:03,479
I guess--I guess I'll go.
831
00:30:03,579 --> 00:30:04,948
[clattering]
832
00:30:05,046 --> 00:30:06,950
- Oh, there you are!
833
00:30:07,047 --> 00:30:10,053
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, now I lost the drive.
834
00:30:10,151 --> 00:30:11,687
Here are your teeth.
835
00:30:11,786 --> 00:30:13,456
And which one of your friends
wants to get on all fours
836
00:30:13,555 --> 00:30:15,524
so you can ride him
like a horsey?
837
00:30:15,623 --> 00:30:17,193
- I just--I really thought
838
00:30:17,292 --> 00:30:19,028
I was having
a normal family dinner.
839
00:30:19,127 --> 00:30:23,199
And I was excited!
I was so fucking excited.
840
00:30:23,298 --> 00:30:25,334
- Pat, baby, that's--
that's why I did all this.
841
00:30:25,433 --> 00:30:26,869
- Yeah, we thought
it would be nice
842
00:30:26,969 --> 00:30:28,737
for you to feel normal
for a night.
843
00:30:28,836 --> 00:30:31,440
- Well, guess what?
This was the least normal thing
844
00:30:31,539 --> 00:30:34,243
that's ever happened to me
in my entire fucking life!
845
00:30:34,342 --> 00:30:36,445
I can't believe
you did this to me.
846
00:30:36,545 --> 00:30:37,746
- Told you.
847
00:30:37,840 --> 00:30:39,315
- I just--I can't
do anything anymore.
848
00:30:39,414 --> 00:30:41,684
Do you understand?
Like, I can't go eat.
849
00:30:41,783 --> 00:30:43,286
I can't take a walk.
850
00:30:43,385 --> 00:30:46,355
I can't date a normal person
without being a burden.
851
00:30:46,454 --> 00:30:48,324
- Hey, you were never a burden,
sweetie.
852
00:30:48,423 --> 00:30:51,094
- No, I was.
I know that I was.
853
00:30:51,193 --> 00:30:53,857
- I'm sorry.
That must be so hard.
854
00:30:53,962 --> 00:30:55,598
- Yeah, that must be
so tough, Pat.
855
00:30:55,696 --> 00:30:57,566
- Yeah, and now the only man
I can date is Marvel's Simu Liu.
856
00:30:57,665 --> 00:31:00,003
Like, Marvel's Simu Liu is the
only type of man I can be with?
857
00:31:00,102 --> 00:31:02,605
- Okay, can't say I feel bad
for you on that.
858
00:31:02,703 --> 00:31:04,207
- I mean, for the last month,
all I've been able to do
859
00:31:04,306 --> 00:31:06,475
"for my safety"
is sit on a private jet
860
00:31:06,574 --> 00:31:09,145
and get eaten out nonstop
by Marvel's Simu Liu.
861
00:31:09,243 --> 00:31:10,579
Like, that's my whole life.
862
00:31:10,678 --> 00:31:12,315
- Yeah, I do think
we should just move off
863
00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:14,150
of the whole
"Marvel's Simu Liu" stuff.
864
00:31:14,248 --> 00:31:16,019
- Yeah, not sure you realize
how you're coming across.
865
00:31:16,118 --> 00:31:17,720
- Oh, who gives a fuck,
Katrina?
866
00:31:17,819 --> 00:31:19,255
You signed an NDA, honey,
867
00:31:19,354 --> 00:31:22,959
so you can't say jack shit about
how I'm "coming across."
868
00:31:23,058 --> 00:31:24,260
And Simu doesn't even know
869
00:31:24,359 --> 00:31:25,828
what he's doing down there,
so there.
870
00:31:25,927 --> 00:31:27,363
- Wait, what?
- [laughs]
871
00:31:27,462 --> 00:31:28,731
- I just--
872
00:31:28,829 --> 00:31:32,668
I just feel like I can't be
in the world anymore.
873
00:31:32,767 --> 00:31:36,005
Like I've ruined my life.
I've ruined my whole life.
874
00:31:36,104 --> 00:31:37,473
- Oh, Mom.
875
00:31:37,572 --> 00:31:39,708
- Do you--do you wanna go
for a walk?
876
00:31:39,808 --> 00:31:42,178
- No.
[sniffles]
877
00:31:42,276 --> 00:31:44,909
I just--I wanna be alone.
878
00:31:45,013 --> 00:31:47,283
I'm not mad, I--
879
00:31:47,382 --> 00:31:49,953
I just wanna be by myself.
880
00:31:50,051 --> 00:31:51,454
[sighs]
881
00:31:53,789 --> 00:31:55,458
- Mom.
- Uh--
882
00:31:55,558 --> 00:31:56,960
- [sighs]
883
00:32:07,169 --> 00:32:08,337
- All right, load out.
Load out to truck four.
884
00:32:08,436 --> 00:32:09,772
- Wow, this burger
is actually good.
885
00:32:09,866 --> 00:32:12,108
- It should be.
It's Peter Luger.
886
00:32:12,207 --> 00:32:14,010
I guess cheers
887
00:32:14,103 --> 00:32:17,013
to a truly apocalyptic night
for our family.
888
00:32:17,112 --> 00:32:19,015
- I know. Hope Mom's okay.
889
00:32:19,114 --> 00:32:21,117
- Aww. Me, too, bud.
890
00:32:21,216 --> 00:32:23,252
But hey,
at least we helped Pam.
891
00:32:23,351 --> 00:32:24,887
It's not nothing.
- Totally.
892
00:32:24,985 --> 00:32:28,657
It just sucks 'cause everyone
does think I'm bad now.
893
00:32:28,756 --> 00:32:31,594
Like, everyone's just saying
really mean stuff online.
894
00:32:31,694 --> 00:32:33,296
- Oh.
895
00:32:33,394 --> 00:32:37,233
Fuck. I mean, duh, but--
shit, I--
896
00:32:37,332 --> 00:32:39,964
- Hey. Did I miss it?
How'd it go?
897
00:32:40,068 --> 00:32:42,171
- Bad, man. Went real bad.
898
00:32:42,270 --> 00:32:46,042
- But hey,
congrats on 100% Fresh.
899
00:32:46,141 --> 00:32:47,643
- What?
900
00:32:47,737 --> 00:32:48,912
Is a "WindWeaver" review up?
901
00:32:49,011 --> 00:32:50,975
- No, like 200 reviews are up.
902
00:32:51,079 --> 00:32:52,248
I guess 'cause it's good,
903
00:32:52,346 --> 00:32:53,682
they decided
to post them early.
904
00:32:53,781 --> 00:32:55,718
They're saying
it's a legit masterpiece.
905
00:32:55,818 --> 00:32:57,320
- Holy shit!
906
00:32:57,419 --> 00:33:00,289
[voice distorted]
My bad show is good?
907
00:33:00,388 --> 00:33:03,492
[gritty electronic music]
908
00:33:03,592 --> 00:33:10,599
♪ ♪
63349
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