Original subtitles

Previously on Frisky Dingo...

[Hawking]

That better not be formic acid you're retching up.

Aah! My eyes!

Phil! Philip, I'm blind!

Well, still gonna have to sue you.

XTACLES: Where the hell is Crews?

RONNIE: Um...

Were you sent by Theodor the Elder?

- Yeah. - Wow.

You geeks got a car?

Um, hey, do you know that, er, law about the open containers?

[Burps] Shut up.

I mean, I like to party. I'm just saying for these guys.

Uh, said he who is allergic to beer.

I'm not--just to wheat gluten.

You know, it's pretty common. I heard Jay-Z has it.

Hey, give him some peanuts.

Actually, any nuts will kill me.

- Even your boyfriend's? - Guys!

Stop the car!

[Tires squeal]

CREWS: Yeah, this is it.

MAN: What are we doing at Crews Manor?

[Burps] Getting my guns.

Did Xander Crews borrow your guns?

- I'm Xander Crews. - Wow.

Idiots.

ALL: Oh!

Pause it right there.

That's Crews smashing Ronnie's nuts.

ALL: Ha ha ha!

Guys, come on. Guys, come on!

These tapes are supposed to be a learning tool.

What did Ronnie do wrong here?

He... uh...

Took off his robot pants?

And what does the manual say about hostile prisoner control?

Right up there in section 1.

Ronnie?

Don't take off robot pants.

See where I'm going with this?

No.

Jimmy?

Simon?

'Cause I think I could eat something.

Raisin toast.

- Could you make that? - [Door closes]

Simon? Sinn?

Now, where's she gone?

[Sniffs] Well, I guess this is it.

We'll always have Las Vegas.

Yes, they can never take that away.

I like to call it--

Arthur, please! They're coming!

- You know, you could come with me. - Oh, yeah.

- No? OK

He was unique and he was beautiful, and you hounded him into the sea.

And for what?

Oh, sorry. I'm just showing my buddy the beach.

I'm from Holland.

Yeah. He's from Holland.

[Beeping]

Who changed the damn code?

Can I help--oh, my God!

- Half and half guy! - Hooker?

How are you?

- I'm doing great. - Why are you in my mansion?

I bought it with the blackmail money.

Yeah, remember?

When I blackmailed you 'cause I found out you was Awesome X?

CREWS: Shh! No, no.

Wow...

- Yeah, I bought it from that old guy. - Who? Stan?

Yeah, Stan.

OK, I actually need to go kill Stan.

So can I pop in there and get my Awesome X gear?

- Oh, my God! - Please?

- What? - He took it.

- What? - ♪ Da da da ♪

OK.

- Right, and uh, Billy... - Harrumph!

No, you can't hurt me. Come on!

- All righty. - ALL: Harrumph!

Dig in, fellas.

Harrumph!

[Crunching]

Now, you wanted to see me?

- Um, I can come back. - You sure?

- [Crunching] - Yep.

Is that it? I'm forced to venture out blind and alone,

like a mole in search of foodstuffs?

'Cause I will. I'll walk right out into the town there.

Traffic.

- [Crash] - Aah!

[Sighs]

Or I may just go live at the Lions Club, make brooms.

With soldiers.

So, how come you're wearing a wig?

Well, I wanted to join your merry band,

so I thought I'd dress up like an elf warrior.

- [Blows raspberry] - What's your problem, cookie Jarvis?

An elf with robotic leggings. Ha ha ha.

Genre mixing alert.

BOTH: Whoo! Whoo! - Ha ha ha!

Ra ra ra ra!

Bew bew bew.

- Guys, come on. - That's baffling.

Sorry.

- Baffling. - Guys. I'm sorry.

[Sighs]

So, where are we going, big guy?

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God!

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God.

All this money and jewelry!

I must have stolen it, but I can't remember!

Oh, my God, with a story like this, I could finally win a local Peabody,

but if I report it, I'll go to jail just like Patty Hearst, only with ants.

OK, OK, I'll just return it all.

- Nobody's seen it yet, so-- - [Doorbell rings]

Oh, come on!

Blind pedestrian!

- [Horns honk] - Blind bastard!

- Note the cane and the goggles. - [Horns honk]

MAN: Ruins of Elron!

Your girlfriend's Grace Ryan, the reporter?

How did you get a hottie like that?

Maybe 'cause until yesterday,

I was a billionaire tycoon and a super hero.

- Yeah, Awesome X. - Guys!

What? Everybody knows Awesome X's only super power is the Xtacles.

- Dude. - Kevin.

- Don't use my real name! - [Crews sighs]

- Hey, don't listen to them. - Shut up.

- They're player haters. - [Rings doorbell]

Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God,

oh, my God, oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, oh, my God! - CREWS: Grace!

Open the damn door! It's Xander!

Xander Crews?

Yes, idiot.

[Growling]

And for your information,

managing a work force the size of the Xtacles is, like,

that takes management skills.

- It does. - So your super power is management.

Baffling.

You're a bitch.

[Growling]

- Breath. - Hi, bunbags, I'm Xander.

- Where's my idiot girlfriend? - Hi-yah!

Aah! Uhh!

- Grace Ryan is dead. - CREWS: Dead?

And now you, Xander Crews, shall join her...

in...being dead.

- Who even are you? - My name is Antagone.

- Really? - Wayne, Shield Walk.

- No, Greater Cleave! - I'm a Half ling, I rely on stealth.

But perhaps first a nerd salad.

- ALL: Aah! - Equip plus 3 boots of kicking.

Wow, I'm...

That is one...

Hi-yah!

Rules of engagement!

Aah!

Guys, hang tough. I'm gonna go get some...

goblin army.

Aah!

Yes, flee, Crews!

Flee from the wrath of Antagone.

He's not gonna get a goblin army.

Now then, I've usurped Crews' company, usurped his alter ego,

and where are we on my date with Ms. Ryan?

- Harrumph! - Well, keep trying.

If the situation keeps trending so positively--

Ha ha ha! Yes, the sap is definitely rising.

And damned if anyone's going to destroy the Earth and spoil all my fun.

So, next on the agenda is how about let's stick it to that villain Killface, hmm?

KILLFACE: I'm quite sure it was a 20.

Dude, it's a 10.

Is that how you pay for the benzoyl peroxide

I smell steaming off your greasy face?

- Dude. - Cozening the blind!

- OK, give me your food back. - No, no.

The smell of this combo is driving me mad.

[Horn honks]

It's gone!

It's all gone! The billionaire money is gone.

The super hero stuff and the Xtacle fighting force is also gone,

and the girlfriend is gone and even the nerds now are gone.

And I got nothing!

Might as well be David Arquette.

And I got nobody to help me!

[Sniffs]

Oh.

Clear the thoroughfare! Blind pedestrian!

No, don't help. Need to learn how to do this.

Hello?

[Engine roars]

KILLFACE: Ohh!

- Ohhh! - CREWS: Hey, no, Don't move, man.

- I think you got a concussion. - What happened?

Hit, hit, and they ran. Hit and run.

- Oh, on a blind man. - Yeah.

Crap!

- Plate was gang car. - Yes, riding dirty, no doubt.

- Bubakush. - CREWS: Yeah, yeah.

- Well, I'm sorry. I'm Killface. - Hi!

- You are in my debt. - Yeah, good.

- I mean, I'm in your debt. - Do you have a house?

No. Let's go to my house, and I will take a nap.

- CREWS: OK. - Where's my food?

- Here, here, here. - My head...kills.

- Um, this is actually full of rocks. - Oh, that guy!

Yeah, Chick Bar does that to blind people all the time.

- Oh, I hate him! - Yeah, my girlfriend

- did a thing on the news. - Is your girlfriend on the news?

- My--what? - Is it Grace Ryan?

Wait 2 minute. Who are you?

- What? - Shh!

- Smell that? - What?

- I smell crickets. - We should go to your house.

Yes, let's go to my house. Take naps.

- And what's your name? - Um, uh...

Barnaby Jones.

- Barnaby Jones. - Yeah.

♪ People let me tell you ♪

♪ About my new best friend Barnaby Jones ♪

Nap.

♪ Lightning! ♪

♪ Lightning bolt ♪

♪ Well, I was fighting an ogre king in the woods! ♪

♪ Well, it was just my friend, Chuck but his costume sure looked good ♪

♪ Live action role playing, that's how I get down ♪

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