Original subtitles

I can't believe they don't have one good rock station down here.

Are you kidding me, boy? That's stompin' music.

This will be our last post, so let's just tough it out.

Morning. Sergeant major Zack Carey.

Morning, sergeant major. Welcome to Fort Clemmons.

Is this all yours? Personal belongings.

Never said I travel light, soldier.

Uh, put it on that side.

Sergeant major Carey!

Yeah. You calling me? Sergeant major Carey?

Yeah, that's me. I'm Jerry Elliott from "Soldier Magazine"

We'd like to interview you and take a few pictures, if that would be all right.

Hey. I just got here myself, Elliott.

How the hell did you guys find me so quick?

You aren't exactly the unknown soldier in this army.

What's a Soldier's Magazine's interest in interviewing me?

Well, sergeant major, you're the only one in the U.S. army...

Who owns his own fully operational Sherman tank, for one thing.

Are you kidding me? I thought everybody had one of these.

I knew a sergeant down Fort Bliss who made a lamp out of one.

How long did it take you to restore it?

Oh, close to 15 years.

A spare part here, a spare part there.

Did it mostly with my two sons on weekends.

How old are your sons?

Well, Billy, he's 16, and Jonathan... would be 22.

He's dead.

I'm sorry to hear that.

So, is this tank all original?

Everything except the loudspeaker and the tape deck.

I put those in for parades and such.

That way, it could be declared a public relations asset.

Why in the hell would anybody want a Sherman tank?

Because it's very hard to shoot yourself while you're cleaning it.

One, two, three, four, hey!

This is the way we start our day!

Knockin' down doors and kickin' down walls!

- Yes. - General Hubik.

Sergeant major Carey to see you, sir.

Great. Send him in.

Reporting for duty, sir.

Good to see you, general.

Well, well. For an old fart, you look great.

With your permission, I could say the same about you.

How's LaDonna? Just fine, sir. And your wife?

She has her moments. You all squared away?

Just about.

Oh, there's a staff sergeant name of Elliott looking for you.

He already found me, sir.

He got me before I had a chance to test the latrines on this installation.

We're going for a drive.

You're creating quite a stir with that tank of yours.

I had to pull quite a few strings to let you keep it here.

I appreciate that, sir.

If I may say so, I'm glad my last assignment is going to be under you, sir.

We're both a little too young to be talking about last assignments.

Yes, sir, but I have made an offer on a fishing boat.

If they accept it, I'll put in my papers.

You give me two years on this post, Zack,

and you just may be the next sergeant major of the army.

One, two, three, four.

One, two, three, four. Two, three, four.

General Hubik, I can't tell you how much I appreciate that coming from you,

but it gets a little complicated.

I only have one son left.

He's only got a few more years at home.

That time won't ever come again.

I've learned anything, I've learned that, sir.

Well, there'll be time to talk about that later.

Pentagon duty isn't half bad for a family.

Neither is fishing, sir.

In your hat, sergeant major.

Yes, sir, general, sir, three bags full.

Rear guard, recover!

Next.

Kitchen.

I've talked with your mom and dad.

What about you?

What's it like having a command sergeant major for a father?

Made me more religious, I suppose.

Really? How's that?

Made me more aware of the problems Jesus must have had as a teenager,

being the son of God.

What sort of father is your dad?

A cross between George Patton and Danny Thomas.

I mean, like he says: "Shit rolls downhill

If it's a bad day at the post, you better believe...

It's the wrong day to look like a ragbag around the house."

- You call that guy about the boat? - Yeah.

I shouldn't have to ask you something like that.

It's like pulling teeth to get any information out of you.

What'd the guy say?

He'd call back in a couple of weeks and let us know whether they'd take our offer.

Probably waiting to see if they can get more.

I just hope the interest rate don't go up by then. What if they do?

They won't go up. But if they do, what am I supposed to do?

I go in there and tell them they can't do that 'cause LaDonna Carey said...

That the interest rates won't go up.

I swear, you're as nervous about that boat as you are about that tank.

Yeah, you know. Go to the NCO Club and have a beer.

See if we know anybody on this post. Ahh.

You're a pretty good old broad, ma.

You just watch who you're calling old.

Jesus, you're a hervous old woman.

♪ and now the lady takes you there and you see ♪

♪ she has you ♪

♪ you find her ♪

♪ you touch her ♪

♪ she can't walk away ♪

♪ she wants you ♪

♪ you know it ♪

♪ you show her the way ♪

♪ there's nothing to say ♪

♪ she plays out her part she knows from the start ♪

♪ the boy's got a hold on her heart ♪

give me a bud. What?

A bud. What?

Beer! A beer! Give me a beer!

♪ but if she goes somewhere, you can't be far apart ♪

♪ the girl's got a hold on your heart ♪

♪ she's got your life in her hands ♪ - Hey, Carey!

Carey! Ah, Tippet Hey! How you been?

Good to see you. What they got you doing here?

I'm operations NCO With the provost marshal. How you been?

Okay. How's yourself? I'm good. I'm good. You look good.

Look, I want you to meet my wife. Christ, I know Linda.

Uh... no, no. Big mistake.

Linda is the old wife. New wife is Gwen.

Must not make mistake around new wife by calling her by old wife's name.

Otherwise, she'll be upside your head with a pool cue.

Come on.

See anybody we know? Ed Tippet.

Oh, yeah? Was Linda there too?

No, but Gwen was. Who's Gwen?

Gwen is new wife. Linda is old wife.

They got divorced? I guess so.

Christ. You know, I used to love to go to the NCO Club.

Not anymore.

Not unless you like to sit around on your can and play bingo...

Or go to the disco and dance the funky monkey,

or whatever it is they call that stuff they're blaring in there.

They don't even call 'em bars anymore.

I mean, it's gotta be a disco.

I don't want to go to a disco. I want to go to a bar.

Boy, you are acting like the most crotchety old bugger I've ever seen in my life.

Why don't you get in this bed,

and I'll show you just how young you really are.

Why, miss Scarlett, how you do talk.

I just want to get that boat.

I want to finish things up and get on that boat, that's all.

Hey. Hey what?

G.I. Want a good piece of ass?

I love you. You better.

Gentlemen, the division sergeant major.

At ease.

Who is this guy, some kind of hard-ass?

He's one of those guys went in at 16, something like that.

Probably got a wino to sign for him.

Hell, I got a wino to sign for me too.

After he did, I said, "thanks, dad."

You still had to buy him a bottle of booze.

Gentlemen, be seated.

My name is sergeant major Zack Carey.

I usually find these little chats are about as full of crap as a Christmas goose,

so I'll keep it as short as possible.

Gentlemen, the bottom line is...

We're gonna get our collective shit together.

We're gonna make this outfit combat-ready.

Coming over here today, I saw a couple of individuals on this installation...

Walking around looking like ragbags.

That stops now.

Normally, if I was a battalion sergeant major or company first sergeant,

some clown starts telling me how to run my people,

I'm gonna personally tell him to keep his nose out of my business.

But these are not normal times,

so I will park in your pockets, gentlemen.

Where quality of training is concerned, there'll be more details later.

Where quality of life is concerned,

we will take care of our people's problems.

Whatever it takes to keep our people's minds on their work,

and not their personal problems,

that's what we're going to do.

For me, at least, the army is family.

We will take care of our own...

By the book, but with tact...

And by tact I mean don't let the bullshit reach the brass.

We will handle our problems in-house.

Because when a problem leaves your hands...

And reaches your company or battalion commander's hands,

you better believe it's going to come to the attention of that 600-pound gorilla...

With two stars on his collar.

And shit rolls downhill.

So you keep that gorilla off my back, that'll keep me off yours.

There's one other thing.

I want a beer bar on this post with a soft jukebox...

So old farts like me and a few others of you can sip our suds in peace...

And not have to dance the funky monkey.

That's it for now. Thank you, gentlemen.

Your division sergeant major...

Is all alone on the battalion field!

Morning, sergeant major. And a fine one it is.

Would you and your men care to take the air with me? Be the highlight of our day.

Battalion!

Company, right face!

Forward! Battalion march!

Huh!

Column left, huh!

Double time!

I'm gonna rock the livin' day!

Shake, rattle and roll, everybody!

Shake, rattle and roll, everybody!

Pick it up! Pick it up!

- Set 'em down! - Set 'em down!

Rock it straight. Rock it straight.

- All right. - All right.

Here we go. Here we go.

Bye, mom.

LaDonna!

Billy! LaDonna? We did it.

What's going on? Why don't you help me with these grocery bags.

Grocery bags, lady? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?

We got the boat? You better believe we got the boat.

Broker just called, said they took our offer, locked in at the same rate.

Yahoo!

What do you say let's forget about that ham in the oven...

And go out and have a real celebration, just you and me?

That ham isn't for us.

Zack, I told you I had the NCO Wives' club meeting here tonight.

I told you that. You said you'd eat out.

Christ, LaDonna, screw the NCO Wives.

Let's go celebrate. You know I can't do that. They're coming here.

Hells bells, LaDonna. Best news I've had in 10 years, Billy's out on a date,

and you've got that crew of Amazons!

I told you five times they were coming here tonight.

Why don't you have dinner in town?

♪ smile, pretty girl ♪

♪ sell me some dreams ♪

♪ smile, pretty girl ♪

♪ I'd like to keep you here ♪

I did my girlfriends' hair in high school.

Yeah? Yeah.

Maybe I'll go to California.

I read about this girl in playboy, you know?

She had her very own barber shop. That's what I want.

My own place. No crap from nobody.

I'll drink to that... To no more crap.

Maybe that's what I'll name my boat... the no more crap.

Maybe I'll just name it after you... Sarah.

That's it. The Sarah.

Long may she sail.

To The Sarah.

I've been in the army almost 30 years.

'Bout time I went Navy.

How would you like to hear a song?

Gonna play the jukebox?

No, I'm not gonna play the jukebox.

I'm gonna give you a rare privilege and a treat.

I'm gonna sing you an old sea shanty...

In the key of z-flat.

♪ when I was a little boy ♪

♪ so my mother told me ♪

♪ way, haul away ♪

♪ we'll haul away, Joe ♪

♪ if I did not kiss the girls ♪

♪ my lips would grow all moldy ♪

♪ way, haul away ♪

♪ we'll haul away, Joe ♪

What you gonna do now, Euclid? Shoot the ball.

How much money have I made off you already?

♪ way, haul away ♪

I'm making 40 bucks an hour on you.

♪ then he got... ♪ - Shoot the damn ball.

Shit!

Just shut up from here on out, you hear?

I'll bust your head. Hey!

You wanna cut out that warbling?

Can't you see there's a game going on?

Oh, well, I'm sorry about that, deputy. I apologize.

Bad manners to be singing while there's a game going on.

Come on over. I'll buy you a beer.

I don't need for you to buy me no beer.

Sarah, you're supposed to be turning tricks, girl.

You've wasted enough time on this old boy.

Probably couldn't get it up anyway.

You just get your ass off that barstool, bitch, and start earning some money.

- Hey, hey, hey. You don't wanna do that. - Say what?

Just no need for that. That's all.

I tell you what there ain't no need for...

No need for no army scumbag to come up here and tell me what to do in my town...

With my whore.

You know something, deputy?

You're right. You're just as right as rain.

Your town, your whore.

Is that right?

You proved your point.

Oh, God!

Deputy, let me ask you a question.

How would you like it if somebody were to...

He's got the gun!

Oh, my God.

Why'd you have to go and do that?

He only slapped me around a little.

I could have lost my job, asshole!

No need to get sentimental about it.

A simple "thank you" would do.

All right. I'm coming, I'm coming.

What the hell is all that racket?

Zack?

What's the problem, man? It's 2:00 in the morning.

We gotta talk, Ed.

I did an El dummo. I'll admit it.

I've been in enough of these cracker towns, I'll bet you dollars to doughnuts...

The local constabulary's gonna be in the provost marshals office in the morning,

looking to stick my ass in jail.

You gonna pay for the damages?

Well, sure, sure. I'll pay the guy as much as 500 to cool things out.

You might have to go higher than that.

The sheriff's a mean cracker.

- Morning, sheriff. - Good morning.

Would y'all like some coffee?

Well, thank you kindly. I believe I would.

In my office, please, Euclid.

Ah, yes, sir.

Euclid?

Yes, sir?

Where is he?

Who's that, sheriff?

He's not in my jail.

And I don't see no arrest report on it.

On who, sheriff?

He in the hospital? I'd like to believe that's the case.

Um, sheriff,

I, uh...

Or is he in the morgue?

But if he's in the morgue, there oughta be a report in here on it.

Don't you care about your paperwork, Euclid?

Sheriff, I'm not, uh...

I'm not rightly sure I know who you mean, sir.

Look at your face, son.

Somebody marked up your face when you was on duty.

And when you're on duty, you represent me.

Yes, sir.

And who was it marked you up when you was representing me?

Because now I'm walking around with marks on my face,

and that I can't have.

Spell me.

He's out there, sarge, big as life.

Well, Jesus Christ!

That son of a bitch got a hell of a nerve.

Jesus Christ on a crutch!

Hell, that's just a breach of professional etiquette.

Coming into my mess hall without calling me?

Pulling some kind of surprise inspection in my kitchen without letting me know?

That's just a breach of professional etiquette.

That fool think I'm afraid of him, he's got another thing coming.

I'll get me a meat cleaver.

That's a breach of etiquette. I'll breach that mother's skull.

Sergeant major Carey, this is a breach of etiquette, you understand?

I don't have to take this off of nobody.

This is my mess hall,

and you keep your nose out of my business.

Twenty-seven years I been runnin' mess halls.

Dwight d. Eisenhower ate my cookin'.

I don't have to stand for no surprise inspections from anybody.

Sergeant, I came in here because the food smelled good,

I wanted to eat with soldiers and not over at the NCO Country club.

- The food is excellent. - My food is excellent.

The place is clean. I run a clean mess hall.

Service is good. Nobody slops the food on the plate.

Served with pride, respect.

Anybody slop my food, I'll slop 'em upside the head.

You're doing an excellent job, sergeant.

My compliments to you and your entire staff.

You taste that apple cobbler?

I was just gettin' ready to do that.

You wanna talk about my food, you taste that apple cobbler, then you talk about my food.

- Sergeant? - Yeah.

That's the best fuckin' apple cobbler I ever tasted.

Give that man some seconds.

Morning, Sarah.

Mornin', sheriff.

Sarah, do you believe in Wonder Woman?

Who? Wonder Woman.

You know, like on the TV.

Do you believe in Wonder Woman?

No, sir. Now, that's good.

But how about the Lone Ranger?

You think there's really a Lone Ranger like they have in the comic books?

Sheriff, I don't know what you're talkin' about.

Will you just answer the question, sister Sarah?

Do you believe in the Lone Ranger?

No, sir.

Ah, liar, liar, pants on fire.

You do believe in the Lone Ranger, and you think he wears army green.

And that's a dangerous thing for a little lady in your position to think.

See, Sarah, you do business with them people, of course.

But that's all. You don't get personal with 'em 'cause they ain't our kind.

That's a lesson you're gonna have to learn little lady. You got to learn it good.

So,

pull up your little shirt there,

take down your drawers.

Turn over. Get to it.

'Cause I'm gonna teach you that there really and truly ain't no Lone Ranger.

I got this one.

I'd like to see the provost marshal.

Good morning, sheriff. He's not in right now, but maybe I can help you.

Well, maybe you can.

I don't know who he is, but I'll bet you do.

He's a sergeant or a master sergeant or some such thing.

First name Zack.

He's wanted for battery on one of my deputies last night.

D&D and, uh, whatever else I can think of.

You have no need to look no further, sheriff, 'cause we got him.

Well, that's good, 'cause I want him.

Yeah, he, uh, turned himself in to the M.P. last night.

He's gonna be one sorry sergeant major when we get through with him.

In the meantime, if you just tell me how much he has to pay for damages and all.

Oh, he'll pay, all right,

but first he's gonna spend some time in my jail.

You know, sheriff...

You know, it's lucky you and me got a chance to talk...

'Cause I'm gonna save you all kinds of paperwork.

I'm sure you're aware of the recent supreme court decision,

Clarence vs. Kern County,

wherein the high court ruled that all military personnel committing a crime...

In civilian jurisdiction...

I don't want to hear this supreme court crap!

I want that son of a bitch. I want his name I can put on a warrant.

I want him here so I can take him to my jail. Now do you understand that, boy?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir, I sure do.

The military don't want no trouble with your town.

I'll have that man up here for you in 15 minutes.

Now, that's what I like to hear.

'Cause if you want that man that bad, then you got a bad problem,

so we just got to nip it right in the bud.

I don't see you making any calls to locate my man.

Oh, I'll have that son of a bitch up here in 12 minutes,

cuffs on behind his back.

That about do it for you?

That'd be fine, if you get to doing it.

And by 5:00 this afternoon,

that whole town of yours will be declared off-limits to all military personnel.

'Cause we sure don't want you to have any problems with the army.

So you take him. Go ahead, take him.

And by 5:00, you won't have to worry about seein' a soldier in any of your bars...

Or your restaurants or your stores or your whorehouses.

And if that don't cure your problem, I don't know what will.

Okay, Sambo (racial term) You win this one.

There's more than one way to skin a cat.

You better believe there is, Jim.

Oh, by the way...

You best watch how you drive off this post...

'Cause this is a federal installation.

You break the speed limit here,

you'll be spendin' time in my jail.

Euclid!

I want to know everything there is to know about that sergeant major.

I want it all, and I want it today.

Hold him still.

It's okay. It's gonna be okay.

Daddy's not mad at you anymore.

It's okay.

Come in.

Corporal Harris reporting, sergeant major.

You wanted to see me? Sit down, corporal.

I was over at the post hospital today. I saw your son.

He's pretty badly beat up. Did you do it?

As much as I know about the army, sir, that's none of your business.

Well, if you want, I can call in the provost marshal.

Well, call the provost. Nobody's pressin' any charges.

Hey, corporal, I'm just having a personal chat with you!

You wanna make it hard, I'll make it hard!

Now I'm tryin' to keep this inside this office. You're bein' dumb!

Well, fine then. Let's just keep it in the office.

I know you got your wife and kid so scared, they won't file out a complaint.

Now, sooner or later, that's gonna blow up in your face.

I just don't want it to ever get to that point.

We got good counseling on this post.

I want you to volunteer for some.

Nobody will know about it.

I'll keep it as quiet as possible.

You need some help, son.

Is that it?

You're not going for it, huh?

Am I dismissed?

Let me put it to you another way, son.

The next time that you feel like you're losing control and you wanna hit somebody,

you come see me, you come hit me.

We can go over to the gym, put on the gloves, or we can just Duke it out.

Look, what goes on in my family is my business.

It's not your Goddamn...

Now you hear this, asshole!

I'm gonna check that hospital every day.

If that boy's ever in there again with a Mark on him, I will destroy you in place.

My retirement won't mean shit to me,

my stripes won't mean shit to me,

the stockade won't mean shit to me!

I'll destroy you in a heartbeat! Do you believe that?

Do ya?

Yes, sergeant major.

You will get some counseling. Dismissed.

Hi, Bill.

Hi, dad.

Where's your mom? Shopping, I guess.

Crackin' the books a little early, aren't you?

I've got basketball practice and an early date.

Smells like mom's cookin' up a pretty good dinner.

Did you check that early date out with her?

Yeah, I told her this morning.

I think you're gonna miss some pretty good ham, son.

Oh, Christ. I'm gettin' too old for it.

For ham?

No, the bullshit.

I had a clown in my office today beat up his kid.

Five-year-old boy.

Could've broken his neck.

When you think about people raisin' a kid right, then he gets killed,

and you see somethin' like that...

Turns your stomach.

Dad? Yeah.

I was thinkin', if we get that boat,

maybe we could call it Johnny Boy or somethin' like that.

How about we do that?

I don't need a boat to remind me of your brother.

I just thought it'd be kinda nice since he was your favorite and all.

Mmm.

Oh, wait. Walt, wait. You wanna run that by me one more time?

Not really.

Bill. Come over here.

Come over and sit down.

Billy, do you ever think...

That I wish it was you instead of your brother that was dead?

That question sucks, dad. Yes, it does.

It'd be rotten if you felt that way. And it wouldn't be true.

Johnny was your first born.

It's only natural you and mom would feel something more for him.

Makes sense, doesn't it? No, no. It doesn't.

Now we felt something different for him...

Because he was a different person,

but not anything more or better.

Mom always said you and Johnny were exactly alike.

You had to feel somethin' more.

We were a lot alike.

That's why when he was a little boy we got along so well.

But when he got to be a teenager, not so much.

He always felt he had to prove things to me.

Maybe that's why he got killed.

But I swear to you, Bill, not once, not ever for one second...

Did I wish it was you instead of him that got it.

Straight on that?

Yes, sir.

I gotta go. Okay.

Bill.

You squared away on all that?

Yes, sir.

Throw it! Throw it! Come on, man!

Break it up!

Look out! Look out!

William Carey.

Yes, sir.

Mr. Taylor would like to speak to you.

Just a moment.

I don't understand, Mr. Taylor.

Why do you want to see my locker?

Well, it might be nothin' at all, Billy.

It's just something we want to check out.

Billy, these two men are deputy sheriffs.

They'd like to ask you some questions.

- This your locker? - Yes, sir.

You wanna open it up, please?

That's not my lock.

Just open the locker.

That's not my lock. Honest, Mr. Taylor. That's not my lock.

Could someone please tell me what's going on here?

Billy, the sheriff's office has received some reports...

That you've been selling marijuana on the campus.

But that's not true.

Could you ask the janitor to open that locker, please?

Go ahead.

Excuse me.

Well, well, well.

Lookee what we got here.

I'd like to see the sheriff, please.

Well, right this way there, general.

Right this way.

Someone to see you, sheriff.

Okay.

Sheriff says okay.

- Uh, sheriff, uh... - Buelton.

My name is Zack Carey.

I did a real dumb thing in your town the other night...

And then I tried to weasel out of it.

I'm sorry. You win, I lose.

Now, what do I have to do to get my son back?

Euclid, could you come in here and bring your camera, please?

You wouldn't mind posing for a picture with me, would you?

If not, sergeant, back over against that wall.

Right over here.

You see, Euclid here has never seen a talking asshole before,

and I'd like for him to have a souvenir photo of it.

All right, Euclid.

I think I'll call this "Sheriff Buelton gets his man."

Unless you've got a better idea.

Well, let's see what we got here, sergeant.

"William Carey.

Possession of narcotics.

Possession with intent to sell same.

Assaultin' a peace officer and resisting arrest."

Now, if I know the judge... I reckon I oughta know him. He's my brother-in-law.

This'd be enough to get that little boy of yours...

At least two years on the County farm, maybe three.

All right, sheriff.

It's like I said. You win, I lose.

You come up with a number, and I'll pay.

You get right down to the heart of the matter, don't you, sergeant?

Well, I admire that, and I'm gonna let you come up with a number.

But after you've had a chance to visit our correctional facility.

Move it, move it! Come on!

Come on, boy. What's the matter with you?

Go! Move it! Move it, move it!

What's the matter with you guys? Come on, boy!

Come on, come on, come on! Hurry! Move it! Move it!

We practice a modern form of penology here.

We try to rehabilitate the prisoners...

Through a system of positive and negative feedback.

Now, you take the work here.

That's a privilege, and that's positive feedback.

On the other hand, uh, well... trustee Jackson!

Yeah, boss?

Could we see an example of negative feedback, please?

Right now, boss.

You, boy!

You're crazy! That's what's the matter with you!

Okay, sheriff, I get the point.

I'm impressed. You don't need to carry this little scene out for me.

Well, sergeant, this ain't the army.

Here I say the "have-to's” and the "don't-have-to's."

I say that youngster's malingering.

That's an example of antisocial behavior.

It calls for negative feedback.

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up, boy!

Just crazy, that's all!

Well, I hope you found our little tour helpful.

Just give me a number, sheriff, and you got it.

That's the trouble with your kind.

You don't appreciate subtlety.

You all come down here and you're gonna change our way of living...

Because you've got the U.S. supreme court on your side.

But I reckon you're finding out we ain't broken legged.

You want a number? $10,000.

Sheriff, I don't know what you think the army pays these days.

I wouldn't know, sergeant. I'm just an ignorant cracker.

But I did hear that soldier magazine wrote a story on you.

Said you was, uh... Let's see. What'd they say?

You own your own tank, and you just bought a big, fancy boat.

Why, shoot, that sound like some kind of millionaire to an old poor boy like me.

Sheriff, I've sent 30...

I'll bet you could sell that boat...

And raise that kind of money right now.

Oh, sergeant.

Uh, one more thing.

I think it would be inadvisable...

For you to get the idea of bringing in some Jew lawyer down here...

To talk about civil rights.

'Cause you do that, and I'm gonna have that little boy of yours out on this farm...

Before you can say "habeas corpus."

Okay, sheriff, you'll get everything you want.

But you remember this...

Anything happens to my boy,

nothing you can do will prevent me from killing you.

He's the only thing keepin' you alive.

And vice versa, sergeant.

You remember that.

Billy, are you okay?

Dad, I didn't do what they say. I didn't do anything.

Somebody else's lock was on my locker. Somebody else put that stuff in there.

I know, I know. It doesn't have anything to do with you.

Dad, it's gotta have somethin' to do with me...

'Cause I'm the one they got sittin' in this jail!

No, Billy, it's the sheriff.

The sheriff is using you to get to me.

That's why he put you in here... to get me.

I'm gonna do exactly what he wants. Then you're out of here.

- But why, dad? I mean, Jesus! - Son, it's a long story.

Once you're out of here, I'll tell you the whole thing.

The bottom line is, you're gonna get out of here. Do you understand?

Okay.

You think you can hang in here just a little bit longer?

Yes, sir.

That's exactly the way I want you to talk to these guys.

"Yes, sir" and "No, sir."

In a little while, a day or two at the most, you'll be out of here.

I promise you that.

I've never broken a promise to you, have I?

No, sir.

I'm not gonna start now.

I promise you I will get you out of here.

That's a promise.

You bastard! You rotten, filthy, son-of-a-bitchin' bastard!

My baby's in jail because you had to go out whoring!

All right. We'll pay the man the money. We'll get Billy back.

Then you do whatever you feel you have to do.

Oh, no!

Look, LaDonna, I have got this thing figured out.

We can cut those bills right in half.

No! We are getting a lawyer, and that's all there is to it!

Our son is not gonna be handled between good ol' boys!

And you... you have no right to even talk to me about it.

LaDonna, you don't understand. This guy, he is an evil man.

If you get a lawyer... we are not doing things his way,

and we are not doing things your way.

I'm getting our son a lawyer, and you have no right to tell me different.

You left your rights on a barroom floor!

LaDonna!

All right, talk to a lawyer, huh? Find out what can be done.

But don't you take any action that'll get to that sheriff without telling me first!

I'll do the same. Okay?

Okay?

Zack!

Zack!

First sergeant, take over the inspection.

What is it, LaDonna? I tried, Zack.

I didn't understand what you meant.

I didn't believe you. Believe me about what?

About the sheriff.

Aw, Christ! Move over.

He's here, sheriff.

Well, lookee who's here... Mr. Stupid.

You are as dumb as you can be.

I told this man not to bring any lawyers in on this.

But he wouldn't listen to me. He's too smart.

See, sergeant, when we get some big, important lawyer in from out of the County,

we don't want to waste his valuable time,

so we went right ahead and held a trial.

Now you know what? Your lawyer's in jail... contempt of court.

We'll finish this conversation in my office.

Take the money, sheriff. Give me my son.

Please.

Oh, you do know the magic word.

Sergeant, it's my sad duty to report to you...

That your son was found guilty,

has been sentenced to three years on the County farm.

But I'll take the money.

It'll keep him alive for a year.

After that, maybe I'll take some more, and you'll get him back.

Damn it, sheriff! We made a deal!

But any more lawyer noise,

and that kid's gonna be shot trying to escape.

Yes, sir.

I got the power to do just about anything on that farm...

Except stop the course of true love.

That I can't do.

You see, unfortunately,

we do have some degenerates down there on the farm.

Unless I miss my guess,

they're gonna fall in love with that little boy of yours.

Of course, it will be...

A learnin' experience for him.

Sheriff told me why I was in here...

Before he beat me up.

'Cause of you and your whore! - Bill?

Was she worth it, dad?

Look at me!

Hubik.

Are you sure?

Well, stop him. Block the main gate.

All right, all right! I'm coming!

Ow!

Somebody better have a damn good reason...

For banging on that door this early in the morning...

Or they gonna spend some time in my jail.

Oh, Lord.

I do believe I got you covered.

Oh, Jesus. Uh...

Oh, Lord. Uh, uh...

Please, mister. I... Now bring my son out.

Don't be cute. I'm in a bad mood.

Oh, Jesus. Uh... I want to, sergeant, I swear to Jesus,

but the sheriff thought you might pull some of that legal stuff,

so, uh, he had your boy transferred up to the County farm last night.

Put him on the work detail right away.

Who's inside the jail?

Uh... uh, just a couple of drunks.

- He's lying. - Shut your mouth.

Deputy, do you have any idea what would happen to you if I pulled this trigger?

He's got that lawyer y'all hired in there too.

Get the deputy's keys and let everybody out, Sarah.

Yes, sir.

Where's the sheriff?

Uh, he's at the state capitol, meeting with the governor.

Is that so? I swear on my mama's eyes.

Deputy, you go over and rip the radio out of that squad car.

Oh, uh, uh... I can't do that.

No, that there's a... That there's a new radio.

Yeah. Yeah, you're right.

Oh, shit!

All the telephone calls in town go through those two boxes over there?

They sure do.

Holy shit!

My car! My Goddamn car!

Oh... shit!

All right. Sarah, give me that gun belt.

You, come here.

Come on.

Now, strip.

Go on. Strip.

Sheesh.

Oh, child!

Don't let this take all day.

Here, Sarah.

Handcuff him to that post over there.

Come on. Go!

Uh-oh.

Hey, sergeant. Can I go with ya?

I can't stay here no more.

- Jump on. - Yeah.

Yeah!

Let's go.

Okay. Now you stay there.

Close the hatch.

- Whoa! - Damn!

What are you doing?

You're crazy!

Lie down, Billy, I'm coming to get ya. Lie down.

Billy, damn it, lie down!

You're crazy. You're gonna get us all killed.

Ohh!

Yea! All right! Yea!

Well, where is this invading army we're supposed to stop?

Holy shit!

Well, I sure would like to help you, Cyrus, but...

Governor, I have got a 52-year-old sergeant that's crazy.

I gota... a-a 16-year-old dope fiend...

And a 20-year-old hooker in a Sherman tank!

They've already destroyed three squad cars,

two trucks, my office and a '74 Chevy!

I want you to call out the national guard...

And blow that son of a bitch away!

Well, I suppose I could do that,

but that would take a lot of time, Cyrus.

Why don't you see what the army can do for you, old buddy.

And in Clemmonsville today, what has to be...

The most unusual prison break in recent history.

Sergeant major Zack Carey of Fort Clemmons...

Broke his son William out of the Clemmons County correctional facility...

Using a world war ll Sherman tank.

All right. Thank you, son.

What's your big plan, sergeant major?

We're gonna head for the Tennessee state line. Take us a couple of days.

We can move pretty good, but it'll slow them down a tad. What's she doing here?

Bill.

Look, once you get across the state line,

if they want you, they have to extradite you.

We can fight that. That means a fair hearing in a court of law.

Now, what you got back there in Clemmonsville? What's she? My lawyer?

At that hearing, Sarah will testify...

That she was busted for vagrancy and forced into prostitution.

Then you and I can tell our side of the story.

You think they're gonna believe our side of the story over a sheriff's?

Bill. Bill, that sheriff is not part of the system.

In a fair hearing, a... a lawyer can work. He can do his job.

We're not running away from the law. We're running to the law, Bill.

- We're gonna win. - They're gonna lose, general!

They're going down in flames, and you're gonna help me do it.

I just got back from the governor's office,

and I can have him call you, or he can call your superior, if that's the way you want it.

But either way, I'm gonna see some tanks rolling out of here to stop that maniac.

Go ahead. Call anyone you like, sheriff. I don't take orders from governors.

Sergeant major Carey's resigned. Besides, he's committed no major crime in my jurisdiction.

He stole a Goddamn tank! It's his tank. He can do what he wants with it.

The most I've got him on is busting a 20-foot section of fence.

General, I am the local civilian authority,

and I am hereby making a formal request of the military...

To do everything in its power to assist and aid me in apprehending...

Posse comitatus, sheriff.

Did you call me a pussy communist?

The U.S. army is, by an act of congress... the posse comitatus act...

Specifically precluded from enforcing civilian law outside the military reservation.

Pussy communist?

That means I do not have the authority to provide you...

With a single piece of military equipment or personnel...

Without a direct order from my superior or the President of the United States.

I can give you his address, if you'd like.

Sheriff Cyrus Buelton, the chief law enforcement officer of Clemmons County,

has deputized an additional 200 men... sit down!

In an attempt to apprehend the tank...

Before it reaches the Tennessee state line,

which is apparently its destination,

according to a C.B. Broadcast made by sergeant Carey from the tank today.

Now,

a tank is not what you want to call a fuel-efficient vehicle.

I mean, the son of a bitch ain't drivin' a Toyota!

Any fool knows it ain't far to empty on a Sherman tank.

So I'm gonna put one of you brave boys in every filling station...

Between here and the state line.

If he pulls in for gas, he's gonna have to get out and pump it hisself.

When that happens, it's gonna be my great pleasure...

To shoot that sergeant in his privates.

Who's that out there?

All right. All right. Don't make any noise.

I don't wanna hurt ya.

All I need is some gas.

Okay?

You the one they talking about on television with that tank and all?

Maybe.

You know, my sister had a boy down on that farm.

He never did come back. You're welcome to anything you need.

All right, Mr. Gant. All right. That ought to do her.

Well... I don't know how to say thank you, sir.

And thank your wife for her chicken too. It's real good.

Oh, you welcome, ma'am.

Best of luck to you, sergeant. Thank you.

Sergeant, now my wife, she's a church-going woman. She's praying for y'all.

Well, that's nice, Mr. Gant. Thank you.

All right, you guys. Finish eating.

I got a few things to square up in the tank. Then we're gonna move out.

I would like to say a few words about Mr. Gant.

He has aided and abetted escaped felons.

Normally, of course, I would arrest him.

But I can't do that because those same felons did destroy my jail.

Yeah. However, long about tonight,

I bet Mr. Gant will be wishing he was in a nice safe jail,

especially if, as I suspect, some of his fellow citizens show up...

To express negative feedback on account of his helping escaped convicts,

dope addicts and prostitutes.

Isn't what you're saying an invitation to violence?

Violence don't need an invitation from me.

And that from sheriff Cyrus Buelton,

chief law enforcement officer of Clemmons County.

Meanwhile, the manhunt for the tank continues.

This is Ken Billings in the TV-9 skywatch chopper.

In the middle of our regular morning traffic report,

we were able to obtain these exclusive pictures of the tank itself.

Within a short time, however, we were spotted,

and the tank managed to disappear into the dense wooded area of this part of the County.

You would think that a Sherman tank would be an easy thing to spot,

but you've got to give the sergeant major credit.

When he doesn't want to be seen, he evidently will not be seen.

There you are, Jim. Billy.

Come on. Move, boy.

We got 'em spotted right here, sheriff.

Whereabouts? Right here.

He's headed down through that Thicket Country. Then down in them bogs.

Bogs? He's heading for the bogs, boys.

Looks like we got us a possum hunt!

If that possum does double back up on the road,

ain't nobody gonna give him any gas.

Not after what's gonna happen tonight!

Uh-huh. Yeah.

And my wife and kids is gone!

You wanna try and burn me out?

Hey, you go to it!

But I'll tell you one thing... I'll take out two of you with me!

What is that? This is the tank. You assholes better move!

Thanks, Mr. Gant. Aw, you welcome, honey.

Y'all just help yourself to anything you need now, you hear me?

Billy, here. Take this.

Billy, I know how you feel about me.

And maybe you're right.

But I just want you to know that nothing happened between your father and me.

We sat at the bar, that's all.

Looks like that was enough.

Let me tell you something, Billy. Nothing happened between us.

Not because of me but because of him.

He wanted to talk. That's all.

And if he hadn't been there in the first place, none of this would've happened.

And maybe if he would've taken me out back there to one of them trailers,

nothing would've happened either... ever think of that, Billy?

Heck, if he'd been like any of those other guys who had 20 bucks in his hand,

and wanted to cheat on his wife, then that would've been the end of it too.

So maybe I oughta hate him for not taking me out back there in the first place.

Or maybe I oughta hate me for not being sexy enough to get him out back there.

Of course, if you just wanna hate, you can come up with all kinds of reasons.

But your father, he deserves better than that.

That's where the sheriff thinks you are right now, down there in them bogs.

That's where we would've been. You'd have been stuck too.

And besides that, he's got 10 Mack trucks blocking the way back up on the road.

How we gonna get around 'em?

Now, you see that little holler right there? There?

Yeah, right there. Now, that'll take you out.

And that's Stump country, but that ain't gonna hurt that thing you drivin'.

They're not in the bogs, sheriff.

They must've doubled back on us.

That pussy communist.

Hold on, you two.

We're going for a rough ride.

Ah, wouldn't that just frost 'em?

What is it? I do believe we threw a track.

Billy, get in and start up the tank.

When Sarah tells you to, just inch it forward... just a hair, that's all.

All right.

Sarah. Yeah.

Get back here. And when I say it's okay,

you tell Billy to move it forward. Right.

Damn it!

All right.

- Okay! No! - Ay!

Billy, hurry! He's hurt!

Oh!

I think I've broken some ribs.

Don't move, dad. Oh, it's my fault.

No, it isn't. No.

Billy, get the first-aid kit out of the tank.

Okay, Sarah, put this stuff back in the tank.

I'm getting a doctor. You're coughing up blood. No, Billy. No.

Look. You two set out on foot.

Just get me off to the side. I'll be all right. I'm not leaving.

Billy. Billy, look, this is... it's like a war.

You have to lick your wounds after the battle.

I know that's tough. Horseshit, dad. I'm not leaving you.

Billy, I'm not asking you. I'm ordering you.

You order your soldiers. I'm your son. I'm getting a doctor.

No, Billy. Look, the sheriff will get all of us.

We don't have any choice. Then we're all getting out of here.

I can drive this tank. I can drive it just as good as you.

I'll get us across that state line.

Billy,

you don't have to prove anything to me.

I'm not proving anything.

That's you and Johnny. I'm like mom.

Practical.

I love you.

More than anyone on earth.

Can you understand that?

You put your life on the line for me,

for something that wasn't even your fault.

Now you can lean on me for a while.

I love you, son. I just want you safe, that's all.

I know.

Let's get on with it. Let's get going.

You okay?

Are you sure you can run this thing?

He helped build it. You better believe he can drive it.

Yeah, but we're not gonna do this hide by day and move by night routine.

We're going up on the main road and haul flat out.

See that cracker try and stop a tank.

This morning, 16-year-old William Carey...

Broadcast an S.O.S. From the tank.

It seems his father was injured fixing a thrown track.

And William went on the air, requesting first-aid instructions.

In the meantime, since what has been dubbed as the battle of Gant's farm,

the tank and its unlikely crew are fast becoming folk heroes to the entire nation.

And especially to school children.

Local high school children are holding up signs that read, "Right on, tank."

And "Go, sarge, Go!" And what does sheriff Buelton have to say about this?

Let me say first that these men are criminals.

We are talkin' about an escaped convict,

and a man who is wanted for assault with a deadly weapon,

and a known... excuse the expression... prostitute.

Now these people in that tank are not heroes.

But they do have a tank.

Well, if you read your Bible, you will find that might does not make right.

That boy made a serious mistake...

When he came back up on this road.

But now we're gonna stop him.

We know where, we know when and how we're gonna do it.

This is Fort Clemmons to the tank. Do you copy?

We have Mrs. Carey on the line.

How bad's he hurt?

Billy? Billy!

You have to release the button to hear him.

Mom, he's got some internal bleeding.

You tell your dad...

You tell him I'm sorry for all the stuff I said.

That I love him.

And I love you.

You're a pretty good old broad there, ma.

Don't you die on me, you son of a bitch.

Don't you dare die on me.

This is Jason Price speaking to you from the Tennessee-Georgia state line,

where a crowd of hundreds has gathered, with more arriving every minute,

at what will be the finish line...

Of the most bizarre race ever run in this part of the United States...

If the tank can make it this far.

We're here live with Mrs. LaDonna Carey...

At the Tennessee state capitol.

What reasons did the governor give for not seeing you?

The governor said he couldn't spare five minutes of his time.

What are you going to do about the situation?

I would like to ask that every woman who can hear me...

Try to imagine that it were her son and her husband out there,

and to phone the governor's office...

And ask him to spare five minutes...

Just five minutes...

To a woman who's trying to save her family's lives.

And I'm gonna stay right here until he does.

State capitol. State capitol.

Yes, he'll get the message. State capitol.

300 calls so far. Who needs this shit?

I say yes, then I'm harboring an escaped convict.

I say no, and I just shot Jesse James.

Who needs it?

Yeah?

Well, do whatever you have to do. And keep me advised.

State trooper's office.

They reckon 1,000 people have gathered on our side of the state line.

Senators don't have to deal with this kind of shit!

Get a hold of that Carey woman and tell her I'll meet with her.

Billy! Billy Carey!

This is Ken Billings of WGAZ TV-9.

We're flying right above you. Do you read me?

Loud and clear.

How's it going, Billy? How's your dad?

Uh, not too hot.

He's got some internal bleeding.

Do you think he'll be able to make it across the state line?

You better believe it. We'll make it across.

What will you do then, Billy? Will you surrender to the sheriff?

No way. There's no way I'm gonna let the sheriff take my dad.

That's some kid. That's some old man.

If he wants to make this the last stand at the Alamo, then that's what we'll do.

Because we've got a load of firepower.

We're gonna get to the law... The real law.

For a long time, like every other kid my age,

I guess I thought my dad was wrong about a lot of things. But not anymore.

He doesn't have to prove anything to me, and I don't have to prove anything to him.

The bottom line is, he's my father and I love him.

If that sheriff tries to hurt my old man, I will blow him away.

That little shit's running for governor.

Mrs. Carey, I have a good deal of sympathy for your plight,

but this is a very delicate matter.

All I'm asking is that they get a fair hearing...

Before you hand them back to someone like Buelton.

It's not quite that simple. I mean, there are other considerations.

What considerations?

Well, this is a very church-conscious state, Mrs. Carey.

And I'm talking about a Christian act of justice.

In all candor, Mrs. Carey, I would find it very difficult...

To put the full prestige and honor of the governorship...

Behind a crusade led by two men in a tank...

With a 20-year-old prostitute.

Governor,

that's my husband and my son in that tank with that 20-year-old prostitute.

If I don't have a problem with that,

I fail to see why you should.

Perhaps we look at it from different perspectives.

Well, my perspective has about a dozen reporters...

From every TV and radio station and newspaper you can think of,

waiting for me to come outside and make a statement.

Now, I'm either gonna tell them they have a governor that they can be proud of,

who's willing to see that justice is done, no more, no less.

Or I'm gonna tell them that their governor is an asshole!

Which is it gonna be?

Are you threatening the governor of this state with blackmail, Mrs. Carey?

Yes, sir, I am!

Euclid!

Euclid?

Euclid, will you come here?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir. Where's that fella, Aavery?

Uh, he's coming right in now, sir. Come on! Come on!

You Aavery? Yes, sir.

Hell, sheriff! Where'd you get that?

Sheriff Bucks over in Harley County loaned it to me.

He had the thing up on his wall.

They tell me you can shoot this. Is that right?

Hell, that's all I did in the army.

All right. Now, here's the plan.

The tank is gonna be coming up this road.

He's gonna see those trucks. He can't get over them.

So he's gonna have to veer off this road out into this field,

and when that happens, he's gonna get stuck in the mud.

That's what's gonna happen, all right.

That's what I said.

And when that happens, I want you to fire to immobilize the tank.

I don't care if he can still shoot.

But I don't want him to be able to move, you hear?

Just a piece of cake, sheriff.

Just hit him in the track, blow that track, and that'll stop him for sure.

Governor, have you talked to Mrs. Carey yet? Yes, we have.

Have you made a decision yet? Yes, we have made a decision.

We decided that if Mrs. Carey's husband and son reach our jurisdiction,

a full and complete hearing will take place in which we will examine all of the facts...

Of this entire affair before any request for extradition is granted.

Where is Mrs. Carey?

Mrs. Carey is now on her way to the state line,

where I hope to join her within the hour.

Hang in there just a little longer, dad. I think we're home free now.

The governor is gonna fight the extradition. You've won!

Zack, Billy, you've won!

All right. We are ready.

Euclid, get them water trucks outta here.

Everybody else, get down behind this dirt ramp.

Dd

They got the road blocked with trucks. I'm going around.

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Go! Gol

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Hold him in there.

Hold him. Now get him!

That's all right. That's all right.

Don't be nervous. Just squeeze the trigger.

But you miss again, it's your ass!

Just keep going, son.

Go! Go! Go!

We did it, boy! We got him!

I'm happy as a pig in shit!

Aavery, maybe you ain't a faggot after all.

All right. All right out there. The game is over.

Come out with your hands on your head and surrender.

No!

Drop on it, sheriff.

Get down, boys! Down!

Now that betrays a negative attitude, Billy boy.

But that's all right.

Me and my boys got all the time in the world...

And we can wait.

Fire away, Billy boy. We got a long day ahead of us.

So you just sit there in that tank and enjoy the afternoon sun.

Move those people back. Move back.

Isn't there anything they can do?

They got no engine. They can't move. They gotta be pulled out.

Hey, what are you guys doing here?

Stealin'.

When it gets dark,

I want the two of you to go out through the hatch and slip across the line.

I'm not gonna let you die.

I'm staying with you.

Bill...

Sheriff, if I surrender now,

will you give medical attention to my father?

I hear you, Billy. Yes, sir.

You give up now, and I'll see your daddy gets straight to the hospital.

What the hell is that?

Cover me.

Shoot that hippie son of a bitch!

Let the governor through. Let him through.

Come on, you crazy son of a bitch!

Hot damn! Hot damn!

Pull! Everybody, pull!

Pull! Pull it! Pull!

Pull! Pull!

Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!

Pull! Pull!

Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!

Stop them bastards! Shoot into that crowd!

You shoot into this crowd, we'll turn this into another Little Bighorn, Buelton.

Go out and get 'em! Stop 'em out there! Come on out here!

Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!

Grab that cable! Haul that cable in!

Pull! Pull! Pull!

Pull! Pull!

Pull! Pull! Come on, governor! Pull! Pull!

We gotta try something else.

Follow me. There ya go.

Get those tables out of the way there! Come on! Everybody back!

Move back! Come on! Get 'em out! Move there!

I got you now, you son of a bitch.

Come out of that tank! Come out or I'll burn you out!

I'll fry you alive! You hear me?

I'll pour gasoline down that hatch,

'cause you have lost, sergeant.

You lost and I won!

Hook her up. Hook her up!

We stopped a Sherman tank!

We didn't get no help from the governor, the army...

Pull! Pull!

I'm coming, sheriff!

Oh!

Sheriff... you syphilitic bolshevik.

You pervert. You pussy communist!

Pull! Pull! Come on!

Pull! Pull! Pull!

Pull! Everybody! Pull! Pull!

You did real good, old girl.