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Previously on
Rules of Engagement
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00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:03,320
what are you saying?
3
00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:06,230
I... I'm saying
that I'll be your surrogate.
4
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:07,560
Yeah, if you want.
5
00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:09,060
Are you serious?
6
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:13,020
Put your baby in me.
7
00:00:13,020 --> 00:00:14,320
Excuse me.
8
00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:16,220
I'm who they're putting
it in, so.
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00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:21,390
You, saddle up, and
get this right the first time.
10
00:00:27,030 --> 00:00:28,900
Mm, I just
know you're pregnant.
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00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,570
I really think
we nailed it this time.
12
00:00:30,570 --> 00:00:33,170
Could be, I'm already
feeling a little nauseous.
13
00:00:33,170 --> 00:00:35,070
Yeah, well,
listening to Jeff peeing
14
00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:36,710
is making me nauseous too.
15
00:00:36,710 --> 00:00:38,870
Hey, come on.
Brenda's gotta take the test.
16
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:41,180
Hurry up, seabiscuit.
17
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,310
Finally.
18
00:00:42,310 --> 00:00:44,480
I saved time
by not washing my hands.
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00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:47,980
Ugh.
20
00:00:47,980 --> 00:00:49,150
Oh.
21
00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:52,350
Wow, you didn't
save any time by aiming.
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00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,220
All right,
let me see, let me see.
23
00:00:55,230 --> 00:00:57,660
Gross.
24
00:00:57,660 --> 00:00:59,090
Oh, something's happening.
25
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,200
What...
26
00:01:00,200 --> 00:01:01,360
What's a red line?
27
00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:04,070
A red line...
Is a baby.
28
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:07,240
Agh!
It's a baby, Jeff!
29
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:11,240
We made a baby!
Oh, my God!
30
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:14,310
Feel free to keep that going.
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00:01:15,980 --> 00:01:17,850
Really?
Now?
32
00:01:17,850 --> 00:01:21,120
Is there a bad time
for girl on girl?
33
00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:24,620
Can we please not
have your creepy perversion
34
00:01:24,620 --> 00:01:26,760
be part of this?
Fine.
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00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,620
Okay, now
I know we're all excited,
36
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,530
but we don't
actually know for sure.
37
00:01:30,530 --> 00:01:32,030
So let's just keep this
between ourselves
38
00:01:32,030 --> 00:01:34,130
until we see the doctor.
Agreed.
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00:01:34,130 --> 00:01:37,030
Cheers!
40
00:01:37,030 --> 00:01:41,800
Way to go, aud, you made it
a whole 28 minutes.
41
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,310
Jen said
"what's up, aud?"
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00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:51,880
No sleep, no peace,
no sex, no money...
43
00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,050
Your life's officially over.
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00:01:54,050 --> 00:01:57,390
Well, that might be true,
but I'm having a kid.
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00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:59,560
And you're gonna die alone.
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00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,830
All right, fun's over.
47
00:02:32,490 --> 00:02:33,830
Hey, Jeff.
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00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:35,090
You wanna know
what you should order?
49
00:02:35,090 --> 00:02:36,900
- No.
- Why not?
50
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:38,900
'Cause it'll be stupid.
51
00:02:38,900 --> 00:02:40,070
No, check it out.
52
00:02:40,070 --> 00:02:42,430
Okay, it's
a breakfast sandwich, right?
53
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,500
But with waffles
instead of bread.
54
00:02:44,500 --> 00:02:46,340
It's for better gripping.
55
00:02:46,340 --> 00:02:49,110
See?
56
00:02:50,780 --> 00:02:53,210
Speaking of stupid,
how's the pregnancy going?
57
00:02:53,210 --> 00:02:55,750
- So far, so good.
- Oh yeah?
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00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:58,220
You're lucky, that stuff
can get rough.
59
00:02:58,220 --> 00:02:59,780
What do you know about it?
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00:02:59,790 --> 00:03:01,120
'Cause a girl I was seeing once
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00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:02,450
thought she was pregnant.
62
00:03:02,460 --> 00:03:06,220
Ugh, the sleepless nights,
the crying, the throwing up.
63
00:03:06,230 --> 00:03:08,990
She was pretty
upset about it too.
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00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:11,800
In my case, Audrey's
not the one who's pregnant.
65
00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,000
Brenda is.
So my wife can still drink.
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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,170
Which helps her
make the bad decision
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00:03:16,170 --> 00:03:18,070
to sleep with me.
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00:03:18,070 --> 00:03:20,070
That's all a benefit
of using a surrogate.
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00:03:20,070 --> 00:03:21,070
That's why I'm doing it.
70
00:03:21,070 --> 00:03:22,470
No, I thought it was because
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00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:24,540
you had,
like, super-slow sperm.
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00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,850
Yeah, and I thought
it was so Audrey
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00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:30,580
wouldn't get
all messed up down South.
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00:03:30,580 --> 00:03:33,280
Looks like once again,
I beat the system.
75
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,020
When did you beat it before?
76
00:03:35,020 --> 00:03:36,220
1993.
77
00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:37,360
I had a rental car for a week
78
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,190
and they only charged
me five days.
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00:03:41,190 --> 00:03:45,760
Disney world really is
the happiest place on earth.
80
00:03:45,770 --> 00:03:47,230
- Hey.
- Hey.
81
00:03:47,230 --> 00:03:48,670
Oh, hey.
There she is.
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00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,700
I was thinking maybe later
we go over to mcsweeney's,
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00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:52,270
catch the mets game.
84
00:03:52,270 --> 00:03:54,010
Yeah, right.
Like I'm gonna sit
85
00:03:54,010 --> 00:03:58,040
next to you sober, in a bar
that smells like armpit.
86
00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,380
Only to then find out
87
00:03:59,380 --> 00:04:02,710
it isn't the bar
that smells like armpit.
88
00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:05,650
Well, uh...
89
00:04:05,650 --> 00:04:08,720
Well, Jeff,
I've been barfing all morning.
90
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:11,160
And then... because I wasn't
already miserable enough...
91
00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,990
My idiot neighbor set off
a bug bomb in their apartment.
92
00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:18,560
Are you crying?
93
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:22,370
Are you a moron?
94
00:04:22,370 --> 00:04:23,770
Thanks a lot, Jeff.
95
00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:26,710
You've turned me
into a freaking girl.
96
00:04:26,710 --> 00:04:28,470
All right.
I know what can help.
97
00:04:28,470 --> 00:04:29,870
How about I buy you
some breakfast?
98
00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,980
Oh, yeah, that's
just what I need, jackass,
99
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:34,850
more of your eggs in me.
100
00:04:34,850 --> 00:04:37,450
Oh, God, I think
I'm gonna be sick.
101
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:42,020
Looks like the system's
still got some fight in it.
102
00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:49,490
And why, you ask?
103
00:04:49,500 --> 00:04:53,100
Because the waffles
provide a superior grip.
104
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,470
What, have you been
dropping a lot of sandwiches?
105
00:04:55,470 --> 00:04:58,740
Well, I mean, enough to
wanna do something about it.
106
00:05:00,410 --> 00:05:02,610
Ah, Jennifer.
So nice to see you here.
107
00:05:02,610 --> 00:05:04,640
Oh, I just had to get
out of the apartment.
108
00:05:04,640 --> 00:05:06,310
I've been knee-deep
in planning the wedding.
109
00:05:06,310 --> 00:05:07,580
There is so much to do.
110
00:05:07,580 --> 00:05:09,610
Yeah, and Jen doesn't like
any of my suggestions.
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00:05:09,620 --> 00:05:12,450
His last one was a petting zoo.
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00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:14,550
To celebrate our love.
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00:05:14,550 --> 00:05:16,720
Yes, because
nothing says "I love you"
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00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:19,120
like walking around
in goat pooh.
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00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:20,160
Mm.
116
00:05:20,160 --> 00:05:21,760
You know, Jennifer,
in a former life,
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00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:23,290
I was an assistant
to an event planner.
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00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:26,200
Oh, you remember
your past life?
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00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:29,030
That's amazing.
120
00:05:29,030 --> 00:05:32,540
Was I there?
121
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:35,370
No, no,
I was referring to my life
122
00:05:35,370 --> 00:05:36,540
before I met Mr. dunbar
123
00:05:36,540 --> 00:05:39,880
and began my career
as Satan's wet nurse.
124
00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:41,150
You know, there's
wedding planning software
125
00:05:41,150 --> 00:05:42,310
that can be very helpful.
126
00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:43,920
I could help you
set it up, if you'd like.
127
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:45,020
Oh, that would be great.
128
00:05:45,020 --> 00:05:46,380
What about tonight after work?
129
00:05:46,390 --> 00:05:48,950
Oh, I can do it right now.
130
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:50,320
It's the middle of the day,
131
00:05:50,320 --> 00:05:51,720
won't Russell know you're gone?
132
00:05:51,720 --> 00:05:54,930
No, not if I bring in
my replacement.
133
00:06:00,670 --> 00:06:02,770
You can't tell me
that actually works.
134
00:06:02,770 --> 00:06:04,540
Ah, it began
as an act of rebellion.
135
00:06:04,540 --> 00:06:08,170
I wanted to show Mr. dunbar what
it would be like without me.
136
00:06:08,170 --> 00:06:10,180
Apparently, it would be
largely the same.
137
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:14,080
Oh, well, let's go.
Yeah, let's.
138
00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:17,250
He keeps looking at me.
139
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,990
Hey, Timmy, I'm gonna take
a little nappy-nap.
140
00:06:20,990 --> 00:06:24,260
No calls.
N-n-n...None.
141
00:06:31,400 --> 00:06:32,960
- Hey.
- Hey.
142
00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:34,430
I just got off
the phone with Brenda.
143
00:06:34,430 --> 00:06:37,940
Oh, the pregnant lunatic
go off on you too?
144
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:39,500
What?
145
00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:42,670
I've never seen her
so unreasonable and cranky.
146
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,640
She was being pretty wifey.
147
00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:49,980
Wifey?
148
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,720
You know what I mean.
149
00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,850
Yes, I know what you mean.
150
00:06:53,850 --> 00:06:56,090
And you're being pretty
selfish and insensitive.
151
00:06:56,090 --> 00:06:57,620
Or should
I say "husbandy?"
152
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:58,860
Ooh.
153
00:06:58,860 --> 00:07:00,790
That was a little uncalled for.
154
00:07:00,790 --> 00:07:02,230
Hey, why are we arguing here?
155
00:07:02,230 --> 00:07:05,500
Because you walked
into the apartment and spoke.
156
00:07:07,430 --> 00:07:09,800
Look, we're on
the same team here.
157
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,840
All right, we get to be
on the sidelines having fun
158
00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,370
while our baby caddy
does all the heavy lifting.
159
00:07:15,370 --> 00:07:17,140
What is your problem?
160
00:07:17,140 --> 00:07:18,640
I don't wanna be on
the sidelines,
161
00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,050
I want to be involved.
And you should too.
162
00:07:21,050 --> 00:07:23,150
For once in your life,
don't be so selfish.
163
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,550
Or...
164
00:07:25,550 --> 00:07:26,850
You be selfish with me.
165
00:07:26,850 --> 00:07:29,850
How about I take you out
for a big night on the town?
166
00:07:29,860 --> 00:07:32,060
Huh. Let's crack open
that coupon book
167
00:07:32,060 --> 00:07:34,360
that we bought
from that cub scout.
168
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,430
No, I am going over
to help Brenda.
169
00:07:36,430 --> 00:07:38,060
You wanna go out,
go by yourself.
170
00:07:38,060 --> 00:07:41,100
Ah, I'm not going without you.
171
00:07:41,100 --> 00:07:44,340
Most of these are two for one.
172
00:07:47,410 --> 00:07:50,510
Audrey's almost as bad
as Brenda now.
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00:07:50,510 --> 00:07:52,840
Oh, really?
So now you got nowhere to turn.
174
00:07:52,850 --> 00:07:54,710
It's like I'm going up
against tag team wrestlers.
175
00:07:54,710 --> 00:07:56,880
You try to pin one,
the other sneaks up behind you
176
00:07:56,880 --> 00:08:00,220
and brains you
with a folding chair.
177
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:02,150
Well, I'd tell you
how I'd handle your problem,
178
00:08:02,150 --> 00:08:04,220
but I'm sure you don't
wanna hear what I have to say.
179
00:08:04,220 --> 00:08:07,330
Thanks, buddy.
I appreciate that.
180
00:08:07,330 --> 00:08:09,730
Oh, no, my sandwich
slipped out of my hands!
181
00:08:09,730 --> 00:08:13,360
- Really?
- No.
182
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:15,300
I feel for you buddy, but...
183
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:16,370
Just tap out?
184
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:18,340
No, I got this.
185
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:20,870
I know exactly what to do
when Audrey gets like this.
186
00:08:20,870 --> 00:08:22,410
I'm sorry, aud,
I'm gonna be home
187
00:08:22,410 --> 00:08:24,180
a little bit later
than usual tonight.
188
00:08:24,180 --> 00:08:28,450
I got a lot of paperwork
I gotta get through.
189
00:08:31,550 --> 00:08:34,750
Bingham for the win!
190
00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:39,820
Let's focus on
the ones I did make.
191
00:08:42,330 --> 00:08:45,060
Now the wedding software
does a lot of the work.
192
00:08:45,060 --> 00:08:46,860
For instance, if you input
your zip code,
193
00:08:46,870 --> 00:08:48,700
it brings up links
to local florists.
194
00:08:48,700 --> 00:08:50,540
What sort of flowers
were you thinking about?
195
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:53,710
Oh, well, I've always
liked white roses.
196
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:56,310
White roses, hmm.
197
00:08:56,310 --> 00:08:57,880
Is something wrong?
198
00:08:57,880 --> 00:09:00,680
No, no, no, it's a
classic and elegant choice.
199
00:09:00,680 --> 00:09:02,150
What, you can tell me.
Be honest.
200
00:09:02,150 --> 00:09:04,720
Okay. Are we
planning a wedding here,
201
00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,520
or some sort of
backwards junior prom?
202
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,820
Wow.
Okay, what would you suggest?
203
00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:12,190
Here's a thought.
204
00:09:12,190 --> 00:09:14,130
What if you went
with seasonal wildflowers?
205
00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:15,390
Which you could
easily integrate into both
206
00:09:15,390 --> 00:09:17,360
your bridal bouquets
and your centerpieces?
207
00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:18,930
- Oh, I love that!
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
208
00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,770
And after the ceremony, we
can feed them to the animals...
209
00:09:20,770 --> 00:09:22,730
There's no petting zoo.
210
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:24,840
You put
a bulls-eye on this
211
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,370
from the moment I mentioned it.
212
00:09:27,370 --> 00:09:30,610
Just remember,
this is my big day too.
213
00:09:39,820 --> 00:09:42,790
Ah.
You're home.
214
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:45,160
Had to happen.
215
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,460
What exactly were you
working on so late?
216
00:09:47,460 --> 00:09:49,930
Oh, damned Anderson account.
217
00:09:49,930 --> 00:09:51,630
I thought you said
it was the Jenkins file.
218
00:09:51,630 --> 00:09:55,670
The Jenkins-Anderson
merger, keep up.
219
00:09:55,670 --> 00:09:56,870
How are things going?
220
00:09:56,870 --> 00:09:58,470
Brenda's feeling
worse and worse,
221
00:09:58,470 --> 00:10:00,870
and I'm freaking out trying
to make her comfortable.
222
00:10:00,870 --> 00:10:02,810
- I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, well, forget about it.
223
00:10:02,810 --> 00:10:04,940
I've given up on you
being helpful.
224
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:06,740
I appreciate that, hon.
225
00:10:06,750 --> 00:10:09,450
Just this pregnancy
is hitting us pretty fast.
226
00:10:09,450 --> 00:10:11,750
And you know me,
227
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:14,050
I'm kind of
a creature of habit, and I...
228
00:10:14,050 --> 00:10:17,160
Hey, thanks for letting me
stay here for a while.
229
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:20,360
I don't like change.
230
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:30,610
So this is a thing?
Brenda's staying here now?
231
00:10:30,610 --> 00:10:33,880
No, Jeff, I just
stopped by to model my robe.
232
00:10:35,210 --> 00:10:38,480
Can I go
stay at her place, or...?
233
00:10:40,280 --> 00:10:42,450
No, Jeff.
You stay here.
234
00:10:42,450 --> 00:10:43,990
She had to get away from
235
00:10:43,990 --> 00:10:45,920
the bug bomb fumes
in her building.
236
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,090
Plus this way, we can help
take care of her.
237
00:10:48,090 --> 00:10:49,290
Okay.
238
00:10:49,290 --> 00:10:51,090
On a completely unrelated note,
239
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:53,600
I need all of our beer.
240
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:56,830
Oh, my God.
Jeff, your feet!
241
00:10:56,830 --> 00:10:58,400
Oh, I'm totally
gonna be sick again.
242
00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,940
Oh, great!
Look what you did!
243
00:11:00,940 --> 00:11:03,110
All I did was
walk into my home.
244
00:11:03,110 --> 00:11:05,710
You know what your feet
are like at the end of the day.
245
00:11:05,710 --> 00:11:07,480
Seriously, I think that's why
246
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,650
we don't have any cockroaches.
247
00:11:09,650 --> 00:11:11,680
On second thought,
I need all of our scotch.
248
00:11:11,680 --> 00:11:13,950
No. Not now.
249
00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:15,320
I need you to go to the store
250
00:11:15,320 --> 00:11:16,850
and pick up some ginger ale.
251
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:19,720
Nah, I'll just
drink it straight.
252
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:21,990
For Brenda.
And saltines too.
253
00:11:21,990 --> 00:11:23,390
It's the end of the day
254
00:11:23,390 --> 00:11:24,630
and my shoes are off,
255
00:11:24,630 --> 00:11:28,160
and my pants are
on the on-deck circle.
256
00:11:28,170 --> 00:11:30,430
Come on, Jeff.
257
00:11:30,430 --> 00:11:33,640
Can you at least
do one helpful thing?
258
00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:35,240
All right.
Just one.
259
00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,770
Thank you.
260
00:11:37,770 --> 00:11:39,180
God, my head is killing me.
261
00:11:39,180 --> 00:11:40,680
Can you get me
something for a headache?
262
00:11:40,680 --> 00:11:42,610
- Okay.
- Ugh.
263
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:45,750
But not aspirin.
Ibuprofen.
264
00:11:45,750 --> 00:11:48,580
And not the P.M. kind,
just the regular kind.
265
00:11:48,590 --> 00:11:50,150
Oh, and don't get the caplets,
266
00:11:50,150 --> 00:11:52,790
get the tablets
with the special coating.
267
00:11:52,790 --> 00:11:54,260
Agh.
268
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,700
Touche, system.
269
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,070
No, you're not listening to me.
270
00:12:08,070 --> 00:12:10,540
I just think that people
would prefer a buffet.
271
00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:12,540
People lining up with plates?
272
00:12:12,540 --> 00:12:14,680
- What is wrong with that?
- Oh, nothing at all.
273
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:16,710
Perhaps after chow time,
we can give the guests
274
00:12:16,710 --> 00:12:18,450
ten minutes
to lift weights in the yard.
275
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:23,550
Jeez, I should've
hired cardboard Timmy.
276
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,890
Oh! And now
I've got an oompa-loompa.
277
00:12:28,890 --> 00:12:31,460
You mean a hard worker
with a solid base tan
278
00:12:31,460 --> 00:12:33,700
and a talent
for improvisational song?
279
00:12:33,700 --> 00:12:35,600
Guilty!
280
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:36,870
Ah, there you are.
281
00:12:36,870 --> 00:12:39,800
I knew that wasn't you
at your desk.
282
00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:41,800
But you weren't
completely certain
283
00:12:41,810 --> 00:12:43,310
until you saw me sitting here.
284
00:12:43,310 --> 00:12:45,070
Savvy detective work, sir.
285
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:46,610
What are you doing here anyway?
286
00:12:46,610 --> 00:12:48,680
Helping Jennifer plan
her wedding.
287
00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:51,150
That's why you left
in the middle of the day for?
288
00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:53,550
Unprofessional.
289
00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:54,920
All right, let's go.
290
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,220
You gotta come
to the club with me
291
00:12:56,220 --> 00:12:59,990
and be
my weiner blocker blocker.
292
00:12:59,990 --> 00:13:02,660
As soul-enriching
as that sounds,
293
00:13:02,660 --> 00:13:05,160
I'll meet you there
once I'm done here.
294
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,400
I'll just wait.
295
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,670
All right... why don't
you guys just go ahead?
296
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:11,170
I got it from here, Timmy.
297
00:13:11,170 --> 00:13:12,230
All due respect,
298
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,640
I don't think that
you do "got it."
299
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,810
Just moments ago,
you suggested we hire a dj
300
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,840
who calls himself
"vinyl Richie."
301
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:22,950
Dj p.U.
302
00:13:22,950 --> 00:13:26,020
And what exactly would you know
303
00:13:26,020 --> 00:13:27,520
about putting on a wedding?
304
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,220
Both of my parents have
been married numerous times,
305
00:13:30,220 --> 00:13:32,490
often I was invited.
306
00:13:32,490 --> 00:13:35,730
What this wedding needs
is a photo booth.
307
00:13:35,730 --> 00:13:37,290
Might that not be a bit cheesy?
308
00:13:37,290 --> 00:13:39,330
Not cheesy, Tim.
Whimsical.
309
00:13:39,330 --> 00:13:40,930
People like a nice memento.
310
00:13:40,930 --> 00:13:42,260
Does anyone care what I think?
311
00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:44,070
Maybe you're right
about that photo booth.
312
00:13:44,070 --> 00:13:45,840
It could go right next
to the bar.
313
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,600
Right, then the girls
can get all liquored up,
314
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:49,710
then increasing
our chances of nip slips.
315
00:13:49,710 --> 00:13:51,010
Now let's talk centerpieces.
316
00:13:51,010 --> 00:13:54,240
- Good, I'm thinking...
- Origami!
317
00:13:56,110 --> 00:13:57,680
Forget it.
318
00:13:57,680 --> 00:13:59,320
Jen, wait.
319
00:13:59,320 --> 00:14:01,220
I heard you when you asked
if we cared what you thought.
320
00:14:01,220 --> 00:14:03,620
- You did?
- Yeah, and we don't.
321
00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:16,400
Hey, Jeff.
I thought that was you.
322
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:17,870
- Hey, buddy.
- Hey, man.
323
00:14:17,870 --> 00:14:20,100
Um...
324
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,810
I don't think you're
allowed to drink in here.
325
00:14:22,810 --> 00:14:24,640
I know, I'm hoping
to get arrested
326
00:14:24,640 --> 00:14:27,280
so I don't have to go home.
327
00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,750
But I'll tell you, having
your wife bring home a lesbian
328
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:34,650
does not play out the way
cinemax would have you believe.
329
00:14:34,650 --> 00:14:36,290
I don't really
wanna go home either.
330
00:14:36,290 --> 00:14:38,420
I mean, Timmy and Jen
are planning our wedding
331
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,490
and ignoring me.
332
00:14:40,490 --> 00:14:43,160
No petting zoo?
333
00:14:43,160 --> 00:14:46,630
It's not looking good.
334
00:14:46,630 --> 00:14:48,300
Anyways, Audrey wants ibuprofen
335
00:14:48,300 --> 00:14:49,300
with the special coating.
336
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,530
God forbid
her majesty, the queen,
337
00:14:51,540 --> 00:14:54,540
has to choke down
a chalky tablet.
338
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,310
But why don't you
buy her the wrong thing?
339
00:14:57,310 --> 00:14:58,370
That's what I do.
340
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,140
Why?
341
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:03,710
Well...
342
00:15:03,710 --> 00:15:05,350
When Jen's in a bad mood
343
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,050
and I bring home
the wrong thing,
344
00:15:07,050 --> 00:15:09,650
she sends me back out
to get her the right thing.
345
00:15:09,650 --> 00:15:13,560
Which means I get twice
as much time away from home.
346
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:17,490
Your brain came up with that?
347
00:15:17,490 --> 00:15:18,860
Yes, I know.
348
00:15:18,860 --> 00:15:22,030
That could work.
All right.
349
00:15:22,030 --> 00:15:25,330
Adios, fancy coating.
We shall meet again.
350
00:15:25,340 --> 00:15:26,540
That's a good idea, pal.
351
00:15:26,540 --> 00:15:29,440
Smart.
Thank you.
352
00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:32,310
You know, I did it
accidentally a few times
353
00:15:32,310 --> 00:15:36,010
before I realized that
I could do it on purpose.
354
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:37,480
It started when Jen...
Listen,
355
00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:39,010
I said that it was a good idea.
356
00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:41,780
I don't need
all the DVD extras.
357
00:15:43,820 --> 00:15:45,960
For napkin colors,
we had a tough time choosing
358
00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,090
between fuchsia kiss...
Or foxy pink.
359
00:15:48,090 --> 00:15:49,690
- But...
- Timmy pointed out
360
00:15:49,690 --> 00:15:51,760
that foxy pink will
really make the flowers
361
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:53,200
in the table lamps pop.
362
00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:54,700
To which,
Mr. dunbar agreed...
363
00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:55,900
After first pantomiming me
364
00:15:55,900 --> 00:15:57,670
in a spirited sexual act
with a man.
365
00:15:57,670 --> 00:15:59,240
Right.
And for dessert,
366
00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:00,740
we went a little bit
outside the box
367
00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:02,570
with a cupcake tower.
Mm.
368
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,470
Just the right level of
playful festivity, we think.
369
00:16:04,470 --> 00:16:07,410
And in that same spirit,
we revisited your '80s dj idea.
370
00:16:07,410 --> 00:16:10,250
Yes, the '80s being the decade
just after the decade
371
00:16:10,250 --> 00:16:12,980
in which Mr. dunbar's haircut
was last considered stylish.
372
00:16:12,980 --> 00:16:15,680
Mm, it's not current,
but I do get tons.
373
00:16:17,420 --> 00:16:20,220
And that's our presentation.
374
00:16:20,220 --> 00:16:21,720
Wow.
375
00:16:21,730 --> 00:16:23,990
Uh, it's not really
what I imagined.
376
00:16:23,990 --> 00:16:27,200
But I love it!
I wouldn't change a thing.
377
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,230
Well, we aim to please.
378
00:16:28,230 --> 00:16:29,870
How much is it gonna cost?
379
00:16:29,870 --> 00:16:31,130
Ah.
380
00:16:31,130 --> 00:16:34,270
Here's where the software
can be so helpful.
381
00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:36,910
And the grand total comes to...
382
00:16:36,910 --> 00:16:40,110
$360,000.
383
00:16:45,150 --> 00:16:48,350
We'll see ourselves out.
384
00:16:52,020 --> 00:16:54,620
got your stuff.
What took you so long?
385
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,530
What, are you waiting
for it to go on sale?
386
00:16:56,530 --> 00:16:58,030
Or did the manager
think you were trying
387
00:16:58,030 --> 00:17:01,400
to smuggle out
a ham in your giant head?
388
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,700
There's my girls.
389
00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:08,870
Can I have the ibuprofen?
390
00:17:11,140 --> 00:17:12,940
Something wrong?
391
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,380
These are gel caps.
392
00:17:14,380 --> 00:17:16,810
I specifically asked
for tablets.
393
00:17:16,810 --> 00:17:17,980
What?
394
00:17:17,980 --> 00:17:20,480
I'm such an idiot!
395
00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:23,120
Come on, Jeff, be better.
396
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:25,750
See, this is why I like girls,
397
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:28,320
they actually listen.
398
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:31,030
God, your head is upsetting.
399
00:17:31,030 --> 00:17:33,100
You okay?
400
00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,070
I will be...
401
00:17:36,070 --> 00:17:40,570
Once I have some nachos.
Another batch?
402
00:17:40,570 --> 00:17:43,510
Okay.
I can grate some more cheese.
403
00:17:43,510 --> 00:17:45,770
Ooh, and this time,
can you just make sure all...
404
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:49,010
Yes, I will make sure
every chip has full coverage.
405
00:17:50,450 --> 00:17:52,380
- Here. Okay.
- Where are...?
406
00:17:52,380 --> 00:17:54,280
I'd love to stay and help,
but I gotta make this right.
407
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,480
No, no, no.
That's fine.
408
00:17:55,490 --> 00:17:56,790
I'll just take those,
it doesn't...
409
00:17:56,790 --> 00:17:58,290
No, no.
No you will not.
410
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:00,520
I don't care how many times
I have to go back to the store.
411
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,760
No wife of mine gets caplets
when she wanted tablets.
412
00:18:14,970 --> 00:18:16,370
Oh, well...
413
00:18:16,370 --> 00:18:19,070
Hello, miss-Adam-
doesn't-have-any-good-ideas.
414
00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:22,810
Soon to be Mrs. Adam-doesn't-
have-any-good-ideas.
415
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:25,310
Oh, yeah?
Well, for your information,
416
00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,880
my ideas are pretty good.
417
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,390
Jeff finally listened to one
and he loved it.
418
00:18:29,390 --> 00:18:30,820
Ah, what was it?
419
00:18:30,820 --> 00:18:33,320
Well, I told him how
when you're driving me crazy
420
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:34,390
and I don't wanna go home,
421
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:37,360
I purposely
buy you the wrong thing
422
00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:40,630
so I have to go back
and get you the right thing.
423
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:46,000
Oh, wait.
424
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,280
- I knew it.
- Listen, Jenkins,
425
00:19:02,290 --> 00:19:04,290
you gotta work this out
with Anderson.
426
00:19:04,290 --> 00:19:08,160
I gotta get home to my wife.
427
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,430
This may be a while.
Put the phone down, Jeff.
428
00:19:13,300 --> 00:19:15,830
How did you find me?
429
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:18,730
Well, it was either
here or the diner.
430
00:19:18,740 --> 00:19:22,910
You're not the man of mystery
you seem to think you are.
431
00:19:22,910 --> 00:19:24,810
Why are you being such
a jackass?
432
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:28,010
The usual reasons.
433
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:30,580
I got you your ibuprofen.
434
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:33,520
Gel caps?
I asked for gel tabs.
435
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,720
So stupid!
436
00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:38,820
I'll be right back.
437
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:41,760
You know, you can't avoid
going home for nine months.
438
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,560
What is your problem?
439
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,860
I thought having a surrogate
440
00:19:45,860 --> 00:19:47,230
was gonna
make everything easier.
441
00:19:47,230 --> 00:19:49,430
But Brenda turned
into the creature from alien,
442
00:19:49,430 --> 00:19:51,530
and you turned
into the baby alien
443
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:53,300
that came out of
the big alien's mouth
444
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:56,570
and hissed at sigourney Weaver.
445
00:19:58,240 --> 00:20:00,310
I know, it's harder
than I expected too.
446
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:01,540
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
447
00:20:01,540 --> 00:20:02,980
But we just
have to remember that
448
00:20:02,980 --> 00:20:06,250
at the end of all this,
we get a baby.
449
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:09,720
And then it gets easy, right?
450
00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,290
Yeah, of course.
451
00:20:11,290 --> 00:20:13,160
Okay, let's go home.
452
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,160
And I'll help you
take care of Brenda.
453
00:20:15,160 --> 00:20:16,460
Um, yeah, actually,
454
00:20:16,460 --> 00:20:18,490
we don't have
to go home right away.
455
00:20:18,500 --> 00:20:22,600
- No?
- No.
456
00:20:22,600 --> 00:20:23,900
Yeah, part of
the reason I came here
457
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,640
is I needed
a break from Brenda.
458
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:27,870
Becoming a bit much.
459
00:20:27,870 --> 00:20:30,410
Oh, which reminds me...
We have to stop by the store
460
00:20:30,410 --> 00:20:32,410
and pick-up some more
tortilla chips and cheese.
461
00:20:32,410 --> 00:20:33,840
What kind of cheese
does she want?
462
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:35,780
- Cheddar.
- We're getting jarlsberg.
463
00:20:35,780 --> 00:20:38,050
- Why?
- You'll see.
464
00:20:41,250 --> 00:20:42,690
Hey, Tim...
465
00:20:42,690 --> 00:20:46,260
Wanna go grab some lunch?
466
00:20:46,260 --> 00:20:47,620
Oh, I'm sorry.
467
00:20:47,620 --> 00:20:48,930
I didn't realize
you were on the phone.
468
00:20:48,930 --> 00:20:52,130
I'll go ask Russell.
469
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,200
Hey, Russell, you wanna...
470
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,130
Oh.
471
00:20:57,130 --> 00:21:00,070
I'm sorry, I didn't
realize you were napping.
472
00:21:00,070 --> 00:21:03,440
Sync and correction by Mlmlte
www.addic7ed.com
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