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1
00:00:01,936 --> 00:00:03,453
So the other day,
2
00:00:03,454 --> 00:00:05,922
this guy in the office asks me,
3
00:00:05,923 --> 00:00:07,524
"what weighs more,
4
00:00:07,525 --> 00:00:11,861
a pound of feathers
or a pound of lead?"
5
00:00:11,862 --> 00:00:13,329
It's a riddle.
6
00:00:13,330 --> 00:00:15,765
Heh.
I'll say it is.
7
00:00:15,766 --> 00:00:18,468
Adam, they're both the same.
8
00:00:18,469 --> 00:00:22,338
Yeah, lead is the same
as feathers.
9
00:00:22,339 --> 00:00:23,673
Remind me not to come over
to your place
10
00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:26,626
for a pillow fight.
11
00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:27,944
Wow.
12
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:30,013
It was either come here
for breakfast
13
00:00:30,014 --> 00:00:33,450
or stay home and figure out
what's stinking up the fridge.
14
00:00:33,451 --> 00:00:35,468
Hey, Audrey,
back to the pillow fight thing,
15
00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:38,088
if you and your gal pals
ever need a referee--
16
00:00:38,089 --> 00:00:39,939
All right, I'll be home
17
00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:42,892
with my head in the fridge.
18
00:00:42,893 --> 00:00:44,661
You guys want to hear
something interesting?
19
00:00:44,662 --> 00:00:46,262
Uh, well, that depends.
20
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:49,799
I can't take on another
riddle right now.
21
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,267
No, tomorrow's my anniversary.
22
00:00:51,268 --> 00:00:53,203
Hey, congrats, man.
How many years?
23
00:00:53,204 --> 00:00:55,238
- 16.
- Ahh.
24
00:00:55,239 --> 00:00:59,125
If your marriage was a girl,
I could date it.
25
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,877
That would be 18.
26
00:01:00,878 --> 00:01:02,445
It is?
27
00:01:02,446 --> 00:01:04,314
When did they change that?
28
00:01:04,315 --> 00:01:08,985
And the big thing is,
this year...I remembered.
29
00:01:10,588 --> 00:01:11,688
And how did you do that?
30
00:01:11,689 --> 00:01:13,456
Well, yesterday at work
I was spinning
31
00:01:13,457 --> 00:01:15,658
my wedding ring,
trying to break my record
32
00:01:15,659 --> 00:01:18,628
of 72 seconds...
33
00:01:18,629 --> 00:01:20,597
When it flew off the desk
and went under the radiator.
34
00:01:20,598 --> 00:01:24,667
Did you break the record?
35
00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:25,668
No.
36
00:01:25,669 --> 00:01:28,688
Ahh! God!
37
00:01:30,007 --> 00:01:32,275
Guys, when I went to go get it,
38
00:01:32,276 --> 00:01:36,246
I noticed our wedding date
engraved on the inside.
39
00:01:36,247 --> 00:01:38,381
But I haven't even told you guys
the best part.
40
00:01:38,382 --> 00:01:40,950
That I believe.
41
00:01:40,951 --> 00:01:42,919
Usually by this time of year,
Audrey's dropped
42
00:01:46,857 --> 00:01:50,827
I'm thinking maybe she forgot.
43
00:01:50,828 --> 00:01:53,062
Oh, hey, buddy,
I'm really sorry.
44
00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:54,397
Why?
45
00:01:54,398 --> 00:01:55,999
It'd be the greatest thing
that ever happened.
46
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,534
Better than the time
that that squirrel
47
00:01:57,535 --> 00:01:59,969
beat up a possum?
48
00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:01,137
I don't believe that happened.
49
00:02:01,138 --> 00:02:05,008
I know what I saw.
50
00:02:05,009 --> 00:02:06,009
Anyway, why is it so great
51
00:02:06,010 --> 00:02:07,310
that she forgot your
anniversary?
52
00:02:07,311 --> 00:02:08,611
'Cause usually I forget.
53
00:02:08,612 --> 00:02:11,080
I've been the goat in our
marriage for a long time.
54
00:02:11,081 --> 00:02:13,082
I forget things.
I'm selfish.
55
00:02:13,083 --> 00:02:16,786
I'm insensitive.
That's not gonna change.
56
00:02:16,787 --> 00:02:19,923
If I remember the same year
Audrey forgot,
57
00:02:19,924 --> 00:02:21,857
I totally win.
58
00:02:21,858 --> 00:02:26,496
And more importantly,
she loses.
59
00:02:26,497 --> 00:02:32,402
Oh, I think she lost
16 years ago.
60
00:02:32,924 --> 00:02:36,616
Sync by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
61
00:02:58,566 --> 00:03:01,551
Hey, you would not believe
this Italian girl
62
00:03:01,552 --> 00:03:02,769
I met last night.
63
00:03:02,770 --> 00:03:04,237
Why is it you feel the need
64
00:03:04,238 --> 00:03:07,407
to tell me of every woman
into whose pants you gain entry?
65
00:03:07,408 --> 00:03:10,276
I have yet to gain entry.
66
00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:11,911
Uh, she doesn't speak English
67
00:03:11,912 --> 00:03:13,296
and my Italian's
a little rusty,
68
00:03:13,297 --> 00:03:14,581
but I will tell you
that her pantalones
69
00:03:14,582 --> 00:03:17,784
are muy caliente.
70
00:03:17,785 --> 00:03:19,686
That's Spanish.
71
00:03:19,687 --> 00:03:22,655
Ahh.
Merci.
72
00:03:22,656 --> 00:03:25,291
French.
73
00:03:25,292 --> 00:03:26,993
See?
This is why I need you.
74
00:03:26,994 --> 00:03:28,695
I need you to come along
on my date tomorrow night
75
00:03:28,696 --> 00:03:29,863
and be our translator.
76
00:03:29,864 --> 00:03:31,598
And that brings us
to the part of the morning
77
00:03:31,599 --> 00:03:34,934
where I ask, "why me?"
78
00:03:34,935 --> 00:03:37,320
Well, I'm assuming you speak
Italian, right?
79
00:03:37,321 --> 00:03:39,138
I mean, you speak Spanish
and French.
80
00:03:39,139 --> 00:03:41,941
What's that crazy one you
do on the phone with your mom?
81
00:03:41,942 --> 00:03:43,910
It's so irritating.
82
00:03:43,911 --> 00:03:47,347
Honestly, this is you asking
me for a favor?
83
00:03:47,348 --> 00:03:49,332
I'll pass.
84
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,000
Well, wait.
85
00:03:51,001 --> 00:03:54,504
Would you pass on this?
86
00:03:56,323 --> 00:04:00,860
Smells good.
87
00:04:00,861 --> 00:04:02,862
I wouldn't even consider this
88
00:04:02,863 --> 00:04:04,230
if I weren't grossly underpaid
89
00:04:04,231 --> 00:04:06,632
and in desperate need of cash
to pay off student loans.
90
00:04:06,633 --> 00:04:08,985
No.
91
00:04:08,986 --> 00:04:11,521
Not quite, termite.
92
00:04:11,522 --> 00:04:13,606
You'll get your money
at the end of the date.
93
00:04:13,607 --> 00:04:17,110
Ahh, the policy for all your
romantic encounters.
94
00:04:20,447 --> 00:04:22,282
Hey, what do you want
to do tomorrow night?
95
00:04:22,283 --> 00:04:24,517
Um, want to see a movie?
96
00:04:24,518 --> 00:04:25,702
I'll bring my man-purse.
97
00:04:25,703 --> 00:04:28,922
We can sneak in
a bunch of candy.
98
00:04:28,923 --> 00:04:31,090
Not that I'm not turned on
by that,
99
00:04:31,091 --> 00:04:33,209
but I was thinking we could
do something different.
100
00:04:33,210 --> 00:04:34,727
What about bowling?
101
00:04:34,728 --> 00:04:37,847
Um, I don't think so.
102
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,465
Why not?
103
00:04:39,466 --> 00:04:41,684
Weren't you, like,
junior champ or something?
104
00:04:41,685 --> 00:04:43,169
It was all-county junior men's
bowling champion,
105
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:45,338
division one.
106
00:04:45,339 --> 00:04:49,042
I can't bowl in
a non-competitive situation.
107
00:04:49,043 --> 00:04:51,878
Well, don't take it
so seriously.
108
00:04:51,879 --> 00:04:53,413
Just relax and have fun.
109
00:04:58,202 --> 00:05:03,222
Honey, it's not a switch
I can just turn off, you know?
110
00:05:03,223 --> 00:05:06,092
I have to bowl at the peak level
of my ability.
111
00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:07,727
Period.
112
00:05:07,728 --> 00:05:09,462
Come on.
113
00:05:09,463 --> 00:05:11,831
It would be sexy seeing you
do something you're great at.
114
00:05:11,832 --> 00:05:15,201
Oh, yeah,
you've got that right.
115
00:05:16,503 --> 00:05:18,938
I was pretty popular
with the alley cats.
116
00:05:18,939 --> 00:05:22,008
That's what we called
the bowling groupies.
117
00:05:22,009 --> 00:05:24,877
Yeah, maybe the man-purse
full of candy
118
00:05:24,878 --> 00:05:26,746
was the way to go.
119
00:05:26,747 --> 00:05:30,049
Too late.
You lit the fuse.
120
00:05:30,050 --> 00:05:33,252
Tomorrow night,
the Adamizer rolls.
121
00:05:38,392 --> 00:05:40,076
Okay, thank you.
Hey.
122
00:05:40,077 --> 00:05:41,260
Hey.
123
00:05:41,261 --> 00:05:43,563
I just ordered Audrey
a huge bouquet
124
00:05:43,564 --> 00:05:45,665
of anniversary flowers.
125
00:05:45,666 --> 00:05:46,733
Oh, she'll love that.
126
00:05:46,734 --> 00:05:48,134
No, she won't.
127
00:05:48,135 --> 00:05:49,669
Just make her realize
that she forgot.
128
00:05:49,670 --> 00:05:51,471
She'll feel like garbage.
129
00:05:51,472 --> 00:05:54,407
I also made fancy dinner
reservations.
130
00:05:54,408 --> 00:05:56,809
Will she love that?
131
00:05:56,810 --> 00:06:00,213
No, she'll feel too guilty.
132
00:06:00,214 --> 00:06:04,350
This is gonna be great.
133
00:06:04,351 --> 00:06:08,054
Your relationship
is different than mine.
134
00:06:08,055 --> 00:06:10,123
Hey, don't worry.
135
00:06:10,124 --> 00:06:12,809
You'll get there.
136
00:06:12,810 --> 00:06:16,796
Hey, Jeff, but what
if Audrey didn't forget?
137
00:06:18,032 --> 00:06:20,099
I mean, what if she's
just not saying anything
138
00:06:20,100 --> 00:06:21,634
'cause she's planning
a surprise?
139
00:06:23,337 --> 00:06:26,472
Well, she knows
I hate surprises...
140
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,640
So you could be right.
141
00:06:29,143 --> 00:06:30,743
Find out if that's what
she's up to.
142
00:06:30,744 --> 00:06:33,846
Look, why don't you just
be a loving hus--
143
00:06:33,847 --> 00:06:36,015
No, no, no.
Here's the move.
144
00:06:36,016 --> 00:06:37,667
You come on in with me
and you invite us
145
00:06:37,668 --> 00:06:39,152
to go do something really lame
146
00:06:39,153 --> 00:06:40,653
with you and Jen
tomorrow night.
147
00:06:40,654 --> 00:06:41,521
Can't.
148
00:06:41,522 --> 00:06:42,588
Already made plans
to go bowling.
149
00:06:42,589 --> 00:06:43,840
Perfect.
150
00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:45,224
If she accepts, she clearly
151
00:06:45,225 --> 00:06:46,359
has nothing planned.
152
00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,295
Okay?
Okay...Fine.
153
00:06:49,296 --> 00:06:51,064
But, look,
if you're gonna bowl with me,
154
00:06:51,065 --> 00:06:52,665
you have to play by the rules.
155
00:06:52,666 --> 00:06:55,001
You mean throw the ball
and try to knock down the pins?
156
00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:59,005
It's a little more complicated
than that.
157
00:06:59,006 --> 00:07:00,673
It really isn't.
158
00:07:04,478 --> 00:07:05,878
Hey.
Hey.
159
00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:07,680
How was work?
Oh, it was great.
160
00:07:07,681 --> 00:07:09,882
You ought to try it.
161
00:07:17,991 --> 00:07:20,226
I just had a thought.
162
00:07:20,227 --> 00:07:22,428
Um, Jen and I are going bowling
tomorrow night.
163
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:24,030
You guys want to come?
164
00:07:24,031 --> 00:07:25,865
Bowling, huh?
165
00:07:25,866 --> 00:07:28,401
Well, what an intriguing offer.
166
00:07:28,402 --> 00:07:31,170
What do you think, Aud?
167
00:07:31,171 --> 00:07:34,574
Sure.
Yeah.
168
00:07:34,575 --> 00:07:36,109
Let's go bowling.
169
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:38,177
Puts us one bird-beak
phonograph away
170
00:07:38,178 --> 00:07:39,879
from being the flintstones.
171
00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,864
Well then.
172
00:07:41,865 --> 00:07:43,649
Tomorrow night, we shall bowl.
173
00:07:43,650 --> 00:07:47,353
That shall be the activity
of the evening.
174
00:07:47,354 --> 00:07:49,622
Okay.
175
00:07:49,623 --> 00:07:53,493
What time do you think
we should go to--
176
00:07:56,663 --> 00:08:02,135
I am just really excited
about bowling.
177
00:08:08,247 --> 00:08:12,384
So, Sophia, what brought
you here from Italy?
178
00:08:16,656 --> 00:08:18,657
Allora, cosa ti porta
179
00:08:18,658 --> 00:08:19,858
qui dall'italia?
180
00:08:19,859 --> 00:08:22,394
Inizialment sono venuta
a visitare amici,
181
00:08:22,395 --> 00:08:25,664
pero ripensandoci vorrei
restare a prendere una classe.
182
00:08:31,103 --> 00:08:32,938
She initially came
to visit friends,
183
00:08:32,939 --> 00:08:34,272
but she thinks she'll stay on
184
00:08:34,273 --> 00:08:35,874
and perhaps take some classes.
185
00:08:35,875 --> 00:08:39,077
Oh, nice.
186
00:08:39,078 --> 00:08:40,612
Well, tell her no need
to worry,
187
00:08:40,613 --> 00:08:42,514
she's got all the class
in the world.
188
00:08:42,515 --> 00:08:45,884
I'm not saying that.
189
00:08:45,885 --> 00:08:50,455
Tell her.
190
00:08:50,456 --> 00:08:52,123
Non ha bisogno
di fare lezioni
191
00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:54,359
ha Gia molte classe.
192
00:08:57,063 --> 00:08:59,798
Ahh, she liked that one.
193
00:08:59,799 --> 00:09:03,301
I'm sure she was just humoring
you with a fake laugh.
194
00:09:03,302 --> 00:09:08,874
I think I would know
if a woman is faking it.
195
00:09:08,875 --> 00:09:11,209
He said proudly.
196
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:13,845
Are you ready to order?
197
00:09:13,846 --> 00:09:15,146
Oh, very much so.
198
00:09:15,147 --> 00:09:17,032
A gourmet meal is
the only silver lining
199
00:09:17,033 --> 00:09:18,416
to this whole ordeal.
200
00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:20,652
Ah!
No food for you.
201
00:09:20,653 --> 00:09:23,722
I don't want you chewing
while you're translating.
202
00:09:23,723 --> 00:09:25,090
- But--
- No, no.
203
00:09:25,091 --> 00:09:27,792
I need your mouth available.
204
00:09:29,929 --> 00:09:34,633
I need her mouth available too.
205
00:09:34,634 --> 00:09:39,170
Tell her.
206
00:09:39,171 --> 00:09:43,375
Tell her!
207
00:09:47,029 --> 00:09:49,948
So you deliver the flowers
to Audrey yet?
208
00:09:49,949 --> 00:09:51,683
Oh, I canceled 'em.
209
00:09:51,684 --> 00:09:53,218
Why?
210
00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:54,853
Well, I realized it would
have reminded her
211
00:09:54,854 --> 00:09:57,122
that she forgot, so she could
212
00:09:57,123 --> 00:10:00,058
run out to get a gift,
claim she knew all along,
213
00:10:00,059 --> 00:10:01,993
and stolen my glory.
214
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:04,996
That's good thinking.
215
00:10:04,997 --> 00:10:06,531
I also printed out
confirmations
216
00:10:06,532 --> 00:10:09,501
of the dinner reservation
and flowers
217
00:10:09,502 --> 00:10:13,371
so that I have evidence
that I remembered.
218
00:10:13,372 --> 00:10:14,706
You guys are all set.
219
00:10:14,707 --> 00:10:17,208
You're on lanes 4, 10, and 12.
220
00:10:17,209 --> 00:10:20,245
Excuse me.
Do you have ten-pound balls?
221
00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:21,846
Yes.
222
00:10:25,718 --> 00:10:26,851
Uh, quick question.
223
00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:30,388
When was the last time
you washed your balls?
224
00:10:30,389 --> 00:10:32,057
The balls get washed
once a week.
225
00:10:32,058 --> 00:10:34,225
Interesting.
226
00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:41,466
I'm gonna go do some
visualizing.
227
00:10:41,467 --> 00:10:42,734
Uh, one more question.
228
00:10:42,735 --> 00:10:45,903
Do you have blue balls?
229
00:10:48,174 --> 00:10:50,942
Sir, Sophia is in
the ladies room.
230
00:10:50,943 --> 00:10:51,876
For God's sake,
231
00:10:51,877 --> 00:10:55,880
may I please have
a piece of bread?
232
00:10:55,881 --> 00:10:57,582
Fine.
Go quick.
233
00:10:59,385 --> 00:11:01,303
Here she comes.
234
00:11:03,489 --> 00:11:05,923
Aloha.
235
00:11:05,924 --> 00:11:09,361
Hey, um, tell her
how worldly I am
236
00:11:09,362 --> 00:11:13,865
and that I've traveled
Europe expensively.
237
00:11:13,866 --> 00:11:16,768
I assume you mean
"extensively."
238
00:11:16,769 --> 00:11:18,603
No, "expensively."
239
00:11:18,604 --> 00:11:21,773
I want her to know
how loaded I am.
240
00:11:21,774 --> 00:11:24,242
She already knows that
from when you had me tell her
241
00:11:24,243 --> 00:11:27,579
you wanted to name one
of your boats after her.
242
00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:30,281
And, sir, you can
do better than that.
243
00:11:30,282 --> 00:11:32,317
What am I supposed
to name all my boats after her?
244
00:11:32,318 --> 00:11:35,086
The whole fleet?
245
00:11:35,087 --> 00:11:39,507
You have no boats.
246
00:11:39,508 --> 00:11:42,627
I'm saying you should be open
and honest with her
247
00:11:42,628 --> 00:11:44,229
and let her know what's
in your heart.
248
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:48,466
All right, take it easy,
Timminy cricket.
249
00:11:48,467 --> 00:11:51,853
Okay, tell her...
250
00:11:51,854 --> 00:11:53,471
I'd like to know...
251
00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:55,607
Okay.
252
00:11:55,608 --> 00:11:58,410
What...Color her
underpants are.
253
00:12:01,147 --> 00:12:04,015
No.
254
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,750
Oh, 'cause she's European,
255
00:12:05,751 --> 00:12:07,252
she might not be wearing any.
Got you.
256
00:12:07,253 --> 00:12:09,087
Okay.
Okay.
257
00:12:09,088 --> 00:12:10,655
- Good night.
- No, no, no.
258
00:12:10,656 --> 00:12:11,840
Stay.
259
00:12:11,841 --> 00:12:13,525
Okay, I'm sorry.
260
00:12:13,526 --> 00:12:16,361
All right.
261
00:12:16,362 --> 00:12:18,213
Tell her I'm glad I met her
262
00:12:18,214 --> 00:12:20,632
and maybe she'd like to tell me
263
00:12:20,633 --> 00:12:24,335
about her family in Italy.
264
00:12:24,336 --> 00:12:25,737
Well, there you go, sir.
265
00:12:25,738 --> 00:12:28,273
Honest, simple, from the heart.
266
00:12:28,274 --> 00:12:29,474
All right, just tell her.
267
00:12:31,310 --> 00:12:34,579
Sono veramente felice
di averla conosciuta
268
00:12:34,580 --> 00:12:36,748
e sono ansioso
di sapere di piu
269
00:12:36,749 --> 00:12:38,416
della sua famiglia
in ltalia.
270
00:12:44,757 --> 00:12:47,759
Well?
271
00:12:49,879 --> 00:12:51,463
She was hoping to pursue
272
00:12:51,464 --> 00:12:52,797
a purely physical relationship.
273
00:12:53,866 --> 00:12:56,401
Ahh!
Ahh!
274
00:12:56,402 --> 00:13:00,305
Pants one, heart zero.
All right.
275
00:13:00,306 --> 00:13:06,210
Fisico.
276
00:13:06,211 --> 00:13:08,113
So, Audrey,
are you enjoying this evening,
277
00:13:08,114 --> 00:13:09,948
which is distinguished solely
by the fact
278
00:13:09,949 --> 00:13:11,049
that we went bowling?
279
00:13:11,050 --> 00:13:14,085
Um, yeah.
So far, so good.
280
00:13:14,086 --> 00:13:17,021
Okay.
281
00:13:17,022 --> 00:13:19,891
Oh, you and Jen each have
your own bowling balls?
282
00:13:19,892 --> 00:13:21,576
No, they're both mine.
283
00:13:21,577 --> 00:13:23,328
One's a spare ball.
284
00:13:23,329 --> 00:13:24,963
All right, we'll just use that.
285
00:13:24,964 --> 00:13:26,948
No, no, no.
286
00:13:26,949 --> 00:13:29,117
It's not an extra ball.
It's a ball for spares.
287
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:30,802
The other one is for strikes.
288
00:13:30,803 --> 00:13:32,837
You got to be kidding me.
289
00:13:32,838 --> 00:13:36,925
Have you never been
to a sanctioned bowling event?
290
00:13:38,911 --> 00:13:42,680
Well, this should be
really fun.
291
00:13:50,923 --> 00:13:53,224
Ask Sophia if she'd like
to come back to my place.
292
00:13:53,225 --> 00:13:54,192
Fine.
293
00:13:54,193 --> 00:13:55,426
I hope she can hear me
over the sound
294
00:13:55,427 --> 00:13:58,279
of my stomach eating
its own lining.
295
00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:00,064
Vorrebbe ritornare
a casa mia?
296
00:14:00,065 --> 00:14:02,167
Si.
297
00:14:06,739 --> 00:14:08,973
Yes, she's ready.
298
00:14:08,974 --> 00:14:11,109
Oh, okay.
299
00:14:11,110 --> 00:14:13,411
My dirty work here is done.
300
00:14:13,412 --> 00:14:16,714
No, ba-ba-ba-ba.
301
00:14:16,715 --> 00:14:19,284
Oh, you're not done.
302
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:22,720
Si.
303
00:14:22,721 --> 00:14:25,323
Yes.
304
00:14:25,324 --> 00:14:26,858
Si.
305
00:14:26,859 --> 00:14:29,594
Yes.
306
00:14:29,595 --> 00:14:31,196
Oh, si.
307
00:14:31,197 --> 00:14:35,667
Oh, yes.
308
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:38,236
Yes!
Yes, yes, yes.
309
00:14:39,505 --> 00:14:40,822
Oh, Adam, I accidentally
took your turn
310
00:14:40,823 --> 00:14:43,308
when you were in the bathroom,
but you can take mine.
311
00:14:43,309 --> 00:14:48,312
Great, I'd be happy
to add to your...37.
312
00:14:48,313 --> 00:14:51,015
Uh...Sorry.
313
00:14:51,016 --> 00:14:52,183
No problem, Audrey.
314
00:14:52,184 --> 00:14:53,484
I was working on a turkey,
315
00:14:53,485 --> 00:14:55,486
but thanks for
the two-pin contribution.
316
00:14:55,487 --> 00:14:58,923
Hey, why don't, uh,
we take a break?
317
00:14:58,924 --> 00:15:00,758
We'll have a little time-out
and I'll get us some drinks.
318
00:15:00,759 --> 00:15:04,662
Oh, I'll help.
319
00:15:04,663 --> 00:15:06,731
All right, Audrey has
said nothing
320
00:15:06,732 --> 00:15:08,700
about our anniversary
and it's too late
321
00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:10,335
for her to throw
anything together.
322
00:15:10,336 --> 00:15:11,369
It's go time.
323
00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,171
All right,
what are you gonna do?
324
00:15:13,172 --> 00:15:15,506
When she comes back,
I'm gonna grab a ball...
325
00:15:15,507 --> 00:15:17,609
- Mm-hmm.
- Gonna bowl a strike...
326
00:15:17,610 --> 00:15:19,544
Not with that
follow-through.
327
00:15:19,545 --> 00:15:20,945
Then I'll turn around
and I'm gonna say,
328
00:15:20,946 --> 00:15:23,648
"happy anniversary."
329
00:15:23,649 --> 00:15:26,851
This is gonna be my shining
moment as a husband.
330
00:15:26,852 --> 00:15:30,121
My moment of triumph.
331
00:15:30,122 --> 00:15:31,188
Happy anniversary.
332
00:15:31,189 --> 00:15:32,523
What the--
333
00:15:32,524 --> 00:15:34,325
Happy anniversary, honey.
334
00:15:34,326 --> 00:15:35,910
- You remembered?
- Of course.
335
00:15:35,911 --> 00:15:37,078
What?
Just now?
336
00:15:37,079 --> 00:15:38,429
You ran and you grabbed
a bowling alley cake
337
00:15:38,430 --> 00:15:39,964
is what you did?
338
00:15:39,965 --> 00:15:41,532
No.
339
00:15:41,533 --> 00:15:42,667
This came from that bakery
that you love
340
00:15:42,668 --> 00:15:44,402
on 72nd street.
341
00:15:44,403 --> 00:15:47,472
And I know you've had a lot
to deal with this year
342
00:15:47,473 --> 00:15:50,074
with me quitting my job
and finding a surrogate
343
00:15:50,075 --> 00:15:51,576
and all that nonsense
and I didn't want
344
00:15:51,577 --> 00:15:52,877
to put anymore pressure on you.
345
00:15:52,878 --> 00:15:55,212
So it's okay that you
forgot again.
346
00:15:55,213 --> 00:15:56,397
I am not upset.
347
00:15:56,398 --> 00:15:59,067
Well, this year,
I didn't forget.
348
00:15:59,068 --> 00:16:00,351
I remembered.
349
00:16:00,352 --> 00:16:01,953
Okay.
350
00:16:01,954 --> 00:16:03,655
Jeff, you don't
have to do that.
351
00:16:03,656 --> 00:16:05,323
I told you I am not upset.
352
00:16:05,324 --> 00:16:06,891
No, really.
I remembered.
353
00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:08,359
Yeah. No.
Yeah, yeah, he's got proof.
354
00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:09,627
Yo, show her the receipts.
355
00:16:09,628 --> 00:16:11,613
No.
356
00:16:11,614 --> 00:16:14,499
- What receipts?
- There are no receipts.
357
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,801
I, uh--I forgot.
358
00:16:16,802 --> 00:16:18,836
They're right there
in his pocket.
359
00:16:18,837 --> 00:16:20,622
No, they're not.
360
00:16:20,623 --> 00:16:23,007
Yeah.
361
00:16:24,276 --> 00:16:25,710
A dinner reservation
and a receipt
362
00:16:25,711 --> 00:16:27,645
from a florist.
363
00:16:27,646 --> 00:16:29,213
So why am I not
at this restaurant
364
00:16:29,214 --> 00:16:31,099
smelling these flowers?
365
00:16:31,100 --> 00:16:34,953
You're not focusing
on the right thing here.
366
00:16:34,954 --> 00:16:38,022
The point is...
367
00:16:38,023 --> 00:16:42,026
I remembered.
368
00:16:42,027 --> 00:16:44,028
And you thought I forgot.
369
00:16:44,029 --> 00:16:46,130
So you--
370
00:16:46,131 --> 00:16:48,933
You canceled the dinner
and the flowers,
371
00:16:48,934 --> 00:16:53,437
but retained the confirmation
to shove in my face?
372
00:16:53,438 --> 00:16:55,673
Happy anniversary.
373
00:17:00,446 --> 00:17:02,947
I don't want you hanging
around with him anymore.
374
00:17:07,119 --> 00:17:10,388
Now can we get back to bowling?
375
00:17:19,965 --> 00:17:22,700
Hey.
376
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:26,938
I got you these.
377
00:17:26,939 --> 00:17:31,342
You still mad?
378
00:17:31,343 --> 00:17:33,277
You mean from the worst thing
you've ever done
379
00:17:33,278 --> 00:17:35,480
that happened 20 minutes ago?
380
00:17:35,481 --> 00:17:40,251
Still raw?
I hear you.
381
00:17:40,252 --> 00:17:43,154
But these flowers
are just temporary
382
00:17:43,155 --> 00:17:47,392
and not just because
they're mostly dead.
383
00:17:47,393 --> 00:17:50,161
I re-ordered you the giant
bouquet of flowers
384
00:17:50,162 --> 00:17:54,499
and we have those dinner
reservations for tomorrow night.
385
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,068
Well, that's a start.
386
00:17:57,069 --> 00:18:00,338
You have your choice
of 5:15 or 10:45.
387
00:18:03,909 --> 00:18:07,845
You know, if you spent
a fraction of the time
388
00:18:07,846 --> 00:18:10,114
you spend game playing and
plotting against me
389
00:18:10,115 --> 00:18:11,349
toward nice things--
390
00:18:11,350 --> 00:18:12,483
I won't deny it.
391
00:18:12,484 --> 00:18:16,287
This one kind of got away
from me.
392
00:18:16,288 --> 00:18:17,355
But I, uh--
393
00:18:17,356 --> 00:18:19,824
I'm really sorry.
394
00:18:19,825 --> 00:18:21,159
I got to get to the gym.
395
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:24,862
I'm tense.
I've been tense.
396
00:18:26,365 --> 00:18:28,566
I know you have been.
397
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:31,636
I was just so proud of myself
when I remembered.
398
00:18:31,637 --> 00:18:34,389
Well, at least it shows
you were trying
399
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:35,506
to be a good husband.
400
00:18:35,507 --> 00:18:37,542
Then when I thought
you forgot--
401
00:18:37,543 --> 00:18:41,179
You got greedy.
402
00:18:41,180 --> 00:18:43,214
I did.
403
00:18:43,215 --> 00:18:47,318
I flew too close to the sun.
404
00:18:47,319 --> 00:18:50,354
Well, to use a phrase I've used
405
00:18:50,355 --> 00:18:52,557
far too often
on our anniversary...
406
00:18:53,659 --> 00:18:56,360
I forgive you.
407
00:18:56,361 --> 00:18:58,329
- You do?
- Meh, come on.
408
00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,298
We're 16 years in.
409
00:19:00,299 --> 00:19:03,901
Nobody's going anywhere.
410
00:19:06,271 --> 00:19:08,272
Ohh, who would have thought
411
00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:09,807
you remembering our anniversary
412
00:19:09,808 --> 00:19:13,311
would be so much worse
than you forgetting?
413
00:19:13,312 --> 00:19:15,480
Well, don't worry.
414
00:19:15,481 --> 00:19:17,215
It won't happen again.
415
00:19:18,851 --> 00:19:20,418
You know, Audrey, sometimes
416
00:19:20,419 --> 00:19:22,753
I don't think I deserve you.
417
00:19:22,754 --> 00:19:28,092
So there are times
when you think you do?
418
00:19:37,136 --> 00:19:39,970
Timmy?
419
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:41,489
Timmy.
420
00:19:41,490 --> 00:19:44,108
I need you.
421
00:19:44,109 --> 00:19:45,610
Oh, again?
422
00:19:45,611 --> 00:19:46,994
Sir, at a certain point,
423
00:19:46,995 --> 00:19:49,747
I really don't think
this is about the translating.
424
00:19:49,748 --> 00:19:51,282
No, no, no.
425
00:19:51,283 --> 00:19:54,051
You got to help me eject her
from the cockpit.
426
00:19:54,052 --> 00:19:55,520
At some point during the night,
427
00:19:55,521 --> 00:19:59,657
she got a little clingy
and annoying.
428
00:20:02,377 --> 00:20:04,879
Well, you know,
sir, that's your problem,
429
00:20:04,880 --> 00:20:07,548
because my translating duties
are over.
430
00:20:07,549 --> 00:20:10,234
Oh, that's funny, 'cause my
paying you duties are over.
431
00:20:10,235 --> 00:20:11,803
What?
432
00:20:11,804 --> 00:20:13,337
Bon giorno.
433
00:20:16,441 --> 00:20:18,476
All right, tell her, uh...
434
00:20:18,477 --> 00:20:23,014
You know, I had fun,
but we both know the score.
435
00:20:25,651 --> 00:20:29,620
Fine.
436
00:20:29,621 --> 00:20:33,558
Vorrei vederti di nuovo al piu
presto possibile.
437
00:20:38,564 --> 00:20:40,865
Uh, you know,
I wish her the best,
438
00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:44,752
but I gots to move on.
439
00:20:44,753 --> 00:20:47,054
Okay.
440
00:20:47,055 --> 00:20:49,807
Se vuoi sposarti per la carta
di soggiorno,
441
00:20:49,808 --> 00:20:54,011
io sono disponibile.
442
00:20:54,012 --> 00:20:57,381
Oh, grazie!
443
00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,151
Well, she's taking it like
a real trooper.
444
00:21:04,750 --> 00:21:07,750
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