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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,338 --> 00:00:03,772 Hey, do you want the rest of my-- 2 00:00:03,773 --> 00:00:06,141 Okay. 3 00:00:06,142 --> 00:00:07,643 Actually, I was gonna say eggs. 4 00:00:07,644 --> 00:00:09,478 Okay. 5 00:00:09,479 --> 00:00:12,347 You know, it's not you versus your cholesterol pills. 6 00:00:12,348 --> 00:00:15,651 You're supposed to be working together. 7 00:00:17,854 --> 00:00:19,321 You know, I do love my single life, 8 00:00:19,322 --> 00:00:20,856 But it would be nice to have someone 9 00:00:20,857 --> 00:00:22,257 Who didn't want me to die. 10 00:00:22,258 --> 00:00:26,228 Well, you do-- a whole city full of escorts. 11 00:00:26,229 --> 00:00:29,331 I'm just saying if you watch the beginning closely, 12 00:00:29,332 --> 00:00:31,433 - It gives away the ending. - Oh, my god. 13 00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:33,335 Is he still talking about inception? 14 00:00:33,336 --> 00:00:36,471 No. Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. 15 00:00:36,472 --> 00:00:38,207 They play this song at the beginning, 16 00:00:38,208 --> 00:00:39,741 And it gives away the ending. 17 00:00:39,742 --> 00:00:41,710 It'd be like if at the beginning of the sixth sense 18 00:00:41,711 --> 00:00:43,178 They had a song that went, 19 00:00:43,179 --> 00:00:45,147 [singing to deck the halls] d bruce willis helps a kid d 20 00:00:45,148 --> 00:00:46,648 d who sees ghosts d 21 00:00:46,649 --> 00:00:50,118 d but he's the only one who's really dead d 22 00:00:50,119 --> 00:00:52,254 Anyway, I'm just here 23 00:00:52,255 --> 00:00:53,722 To grab some food and go. 24 00:00:53,723 --> 00:00:55,257 I'm taking a bus to new jersey. 25 00:00:55,258 --> 00:00:57,092 I have to take the family christmas picture. 26 00:00:57,093 --> 00:00:59,061 Oh. Is adam going? 27 00:00:59,062 --> 00:01:01,997 No. My mom wants family only. 28 00:01:01,998 --> 00:01:04,099 And I found the perfect sweater, but... 29 00:01:04,100 --> 00:01:05,467 Whatever. 30 00:01:05,468 --> 00:01:07,069 Oh, wait! 31 00:01:07,070 --> 00:01:09,304 You're gonna miss the office christmas party. 32 00:01:09,305 --> 00:01:10,739 Oh, guess I'll have to wait to find out 33 00:01:10,740 --> 00:01:12,241 If it was a candy cane in your pocket 34 00:01:12,242 --> 00:01:14,309 Or you were just happy to see her. 35 00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:16,945 Spoiler alert: It was both. 36 00:01:16,946 --> 00:01:19,681 - All right, I'll see you. - Bye. 37 00:01:19,682 --> 00:01:21,917 Oh, I can't wait to exchange christmas presents. 38 00:01:21,918 --> 00:01:23,719 I have the best gift for her. 39 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:26,088 I made her this coupon book full of little favors, 40 00:01:26,089 --> 00:01:30,158 You know, like, um, with hugs and massages and cuddles. 41 00:01:30,159 --> 00:01:32,694 Cuddles. You gotta be kidding me. 42 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,803 Ah, no, that's a candy cane. 43 00:01:41,804 --> 00:01:44,072 Excuse me. Could I get some honey for my tea? 44 00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:45,807 Throat's a little sore. 45 00:01:45,808 --> 00:01:48,510 Yeah. Audrey and I went to a christmas party last night, 46 00:01:48,511 --> 00:01:51,680 And as usual, she did the lion's share of the talking. 47 00:01:51,681 --> 00:01:53,515 That's because all you ever say is, 48 00:01:53,516 --> 00:01:56,251 "nice to see you," and, "where's the bar?" 49 00:01:56,252 --> 00:01:58,754 I really only care about the second thing. 50 00:01:58,755 --> 00:02:00,355 Anyway, that's why at parties 51 00:02:00,356 --> 00:02:02,524 I have to carry us as a couple. 52 00:02:02,525 --> 00:02:05,527 Good thing I'm the funny one. 53 00:02:08,898 --> 00:02:10,732 - You're the funny one? - You knew that. 54 00:02:10,733 --> 00:02:13,302 I don't think anyone knew that. 55 00:02:13,303 --> 00:02:15,137 Audrey, I think you're funny. 56 00:02:15,138 --> 00:02:16,471 - Thank you. - Remember that time 57 00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:19,274 She wore that gray coat, and it was like so ridiculous 58 00:02:19,275 --> 00:02:21,543 With the straps all over it everywhere. 59 00:02:21,544 --> 00:02:23,445 Oh, yeah, yeah, that was hilarious. 60 00:02:23,446 --> 00:02:27,582 And jeff said she looked like a civil war general. 61 00:02:27,583 --> 00:02:30,052 Jackets like that are in. 62 00:02:30,053 --> 00:02:32,487 In 1863. 63 00:02:32,488 --> 00:02:35,090 [exaggerated southern accent] my dearest annabel... 64 00:02:35,091 --> 00:02:39,061 The war rages on, but I must thank you for the... 65 00:02:39,062 --> 00:02:41,563 Fine garments you... 66 00:02:41,564 --> 00:02:43,899 Procure. 67 00:02:43,900 --> 00:02:46,535 Actually, audrey is the butt of those jokes, 68 00:02:46,536 --> 00:02:49,638 So...You would be the butt of the couple. 69 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,073 Mm-hmm. 70 00:02:51,074 --> 00:02:53,976 See, I don't have to resort to cheap shots and insults. 71 00:02:53,977 --> 00:02:55,510 Like last night, I got a great reaction 72 00:02:55,511 --> 00:02:58,046 When I told that story about our trip to oahu. 73 00:02:58,047 --> 00:03:01,917 I think it's pronounced ohio. 74 00:03:04,287 --> 00:03:06,355 Um...It's in hawaii. 75 00:03:06,356 --> 00:03:09,858 [chuckles] jeez... 76 00:03:09,859 --> 00:03:12,361 Somebody get her a map. 77 00:03:12,362 --> 00:03:13,829 Huh? 78 00:03:31,809 --> 00:03:37,788 -- Sync by Rafael UPD -- www.addic7ed.com/ 79 00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,852 Timmy! 80 00:03:43,853 --> 00:03:46,087 It's gonna be a very merry christmas. 81 00:03:46,088 --> 00:03:49,958 Or whatever creepy pagan ritual you observe. 82 00:03:49,959 --> 00:03:51,926 What accounts for your anticipation 83 00:03:51,927 --> 00:03:53,895 Of said merriment, sir? 84 00:03:53,896 --> 00:03:55,864 Well, I accidentally stumbled upon 85 00:03:55,865 --> 00:03:58,633 Adam's homemade christmas coupons for jen. 86 00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:01,669 You mean "went into his office and stole." 87 00:04:01,670 --> 00:04:03,671 Stumbled upon, yes. 88 00:04:03,672 --> 00:04:05,607 Oh, dear me. 89 00:04:05,608 --> 00:04:07,709 He's certainly liberal with the glitter, isn't he? 90 00:04:07,710 --> 00:04:09,677 [chuckling] yes, he is. But I figure 91 00:04:09,678 --> 00:04:12,013 Why restrict adam's generosity to jen 92 00:04:12,014 --> 00:04:14,482 When the joy could be spread to so many? 93 00:04:14,483 --> 00:04:16,017 I mean, 94 00:04:16,018 --> 00:04:20,688 Who wouldn't want a backrub from adam? 95 00:04:20,689 --> 00:04:22,757 Or who wouldn't want-- [laughs] 96 00:04:22,758 --> 00:04:25,193 A shampooing from adam? 97 00:04:25,194 --> 00:04:27,595 Hey, who's that white kid in shipping 98 00:04:27,596 --> 00:04:30,198 With the nasty dreads with the bugs in 'em? 99 00:04:30,199 --> 00:04:34,068 - That would be Nate. - Nate! Ah, good old Nate. 100 00:04:35,571 --> 00:04:37,238 What's wrong? 101 00:04:37,239 --> 00:04:39,407 I'm having fun at someone's expense, and it's not yours. 102 00:04:39,408 --> 00:04:41,075 You should be enjoying this. 103 00:04:41,076 --> 00:04:42,877 I suppose I'm still wistful 104 00:04:42,878 --> 00:04:44,479 About my breakup with allison, sir. 105 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,080 I guess long-distance relationships 106 00:04:46,081 --> 00:04:47,348 Are just too difficult-- 107 00:04:47,349 --> 00:04:49,717 To listen to. Yeah. 108 00:04:49,718 --> 00:04:50,952 You know what? 109 00:04:50,953 --> 00:04:52,854 I think the office christmas party 110 00:04:52,855 --> 00:04:54,689 Is the perfect thing to cheer you up. 111 00:04:54,690 --> 00:04:57,892 I'm not sure I'm really in the mood for a party. 112 00:04:57,893 --> 00:04:59,928 Aw, come on, let's put allison behind you 113 00:04:59,929 --> 00:05:03,064 And some other bimbo under you. 114 00:05:03,065 --> 00:05:05,133 Perhaps it is time for me to move on. 115 00:05:05,134 --> 00:05:07,535 I guess I won't meet anybody new just sitting at home. 116 00:05:07,536 --> 00:05:09,037 Look, I wanna help you out. 117 00:05:09,038 --> 00:05:11,606 How 'bout I make you official party greeter? 118 00:05:11,607 --> 00:05:13,675 Oh, I'd be honored, sir. 119 00:05:13,676 --> 00:05:15,910 Yeah. And I'm sorry about you and allison. 120 00:05:15,911 --> 00:05:17,378 Would a hug help? 121 00:05:17,379 --> 00:05:18,913 You know, it just might. 122 00:05:18,914 --> 00:05:21,416 Ah, here you go, buddy. 123 00:05:25,387 --> 00:05:27,488 Wow! 124 00:05:27,489 --> 00:05:30,225 Your company really stepped it up this year. 125 00:05:30,226 --> 00:05:31,392 I'll reserve judgment 126 00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:33,394 Until I see the size of the shrimp. 127 00:05:33,395 --> 00:05:34,729 Hey, jeff. 128 00:05:34,730 --> 00:05:36,698 Oh, hey, nice to see you. Where's the bar? 129 00:05:36,699 --> 00:05:38,933 [laughs] it's right over there. 130 00:05:38,934 --> 00:05:41,402 Audrey, you remember dan and his girlfriend barbara? 131 00:05:41,403 --> 00:05:42,704 - Hi. - Actually, it's fiancee. 132 00:05:42,705 --> 00:05:44,272 Oh, dan and his girlfriend fiancee. 133 00:05:44,273 --> 00:05:45,473 That's lovely. 134 00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:49,043 No. Her name is barbara. We just got engaged. 135 00:05:49,044 --> 00:05:50,578 Oh, well, that makes sense. 136 00:05:50,579 --> 00:05:52,113 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 137 00:05:52,114 --> 00:05:53,281 Hey, little advice. 138 00:05:53,282 --> 00:05:55,083 On the road to marriage... 139 00:05:55,084 --> 00:05:56,918 Don't be afraid to drive drunk. 140 00:05:56,919 --> 00:05:58,486 [both laughing] 141 00:05:58,487 --> 00:06:00,989 And if you are gonna follow his roadmap, 142 00:06:00,990 --> 00:06:02,290 Don't get lost, 143 00:06:02,291 --> 00:06:06,995 'cause he's not gonna ask for directions! 144 00:06:06,996 --> 00:06:09,831 Why would I ask for directions if, uh, 145 00:06:09,832 --> 00:06:11,132 We have a roadmap? 146 00:06:11,133 --> 00:06:13,501 Uh...No. That's why it's funny. 147 00:06:13,502 --> 00:06:15,937 You know, 'cause guys don't ask for directions. 148 00:06:15,938 --> 00:06:17,672 Dan does. 149 00:06:17,673 --> 00:06:19,474 Okay. 150 00:06:19,475 --> 00:06:21,042 But...That's unusual. 151 00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:23,111 Especially now that everybody's got gps. 152 00:06:23,112 --> 00:06:25,847 - [both laughing] - gps! 153 00:06:25,848 --> 00:06:27,615 That wasn't even a joke. 154 00:06:27,616 --> 00:06:29,784 He was just stating the facts. 155 00:06:29,785 --> 00:06:33,154 Must be the way he said it. [both laughing] 156 00:06:33,155 --> 00:06:35,957 - Uh, what are you doing? - What do you mean? 157 00:06:35,958 --> 00:06:39,160 Wait, are you trying to prove that you're the funny one? 158 00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:41,296 - No. - 'cause if you are, 159 00:06:41,297 --> 00:06:44,532 I'll run home and grab that civil war jacket for ya. 160 00:06:44,533 --> 00:06:46,367 They're very in! 161 00:06:51,006 --> 00:06:52,307 [knock knock] 162 00:06:52,308 --> 00:06:54,809 [singsong] come out, timmy. 163 00:06:54,810 --> 00:06:56,778 Mr. Dunbar? 164 00:06:56,779 --> 00:06:59,080 When I agreed to be the party greeter, 165 00:06:59,081 --> 00:07:01,115 I did not agree to this. 166 00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:04,185 Aw, chicks dig a man in uniform. 167 00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:08,756 Yeah! Ho ho ho oh! 168 00:07:08,757 --> 00:07:10,091 Whoa! 169 00:07:10,092 --> 00:07:13,061 Okay-- "don we now our gay apparel." 170 00:07:13,062 --> 00:07:15,029 I finally get that. 171 00:07:15,030 --> 00:07:17,632 That's your way of encouraging me to stay in this outfit? 172 00:07:17,633 --> 00:07:19,967 No. My way of encouraging you to stay in the outfit 173 00:07:19,968 --> 00:07:22,170 Was throwing your clothes down the garbage chute. 174 00:07:22,171 --> 00:07:25,006 - Come on, let's hit the par-tay. - No, sir. 175 00:07:25,007 --> 00:07:27,709 I'm leaving here with what's left of my dignity. 176 00:07:27,710 --> 00:07:29,911 [bells jingling] 177 00:07:29,912 --> 00:07:32,480 Oh, no, he's got little bells on his shoes. 178 00:07:32,481 --> 00:07:35,550 [laughing] it's too good! 179 00:07:35,551 --> 00:07:38,219 [bells jingling] 180 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:40,488 I see what you're trying to do. 181 00:07:40,489 --> 00:07:43,224 You're trying to humiliate me for your own amusement. 182 00:07:43,225 --> 00:07:44,359 But you know what? 183 00:07:44,360 --> 00:07:47,195 I am not going to give you the satisfaction. 184 00:07:47,196 --> 00:07:49,997 - I'm staying. - Oh...That'll show me. 185 00:07:49,998 --> 00:07:51,766 I'll show you, by wearing this ensemble 186 00:07:51,767 --> 00:07:54,168 With pride. 187 00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,737 I don't know if using the word "ensemble" 188 00:07:55,738 --> 00:07:57,338 Is helping your cause. 189 00:07:57,339 --> 00:07:59,474 Go ahead, sir. Mock away. 190 00:07:59,475 --> 00:08:01,576 Well, I'm trying. Stop interrupting. 191 00:08:01,577 --> 00:08:03,344 You're going to be the one who's disappointed 192 00:08:03,345 --> 00:08:04,779 When people rally around my costume 193 00:08:04,780 --> 00:08:06,314 And appreciate its holiday spirit-- 194 00:08:06,315 --> 00:08:07,582 Ladies, welcome! 195 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:10,251 As your official greeter, please allow me to point out 196 00:08:10,252 --> 00:08:12,587 That the bar and light hors d'oeuvres are that way. 197 00:08:12,588 --> 00:08:15,790 Thanks. Hey, which way to the guys with pants? 198 00:08:15,791 --> 00:08:17,892 Ah! Ooh! Ah ha! 199 00:08:17,893 --> 00:08:19,093 Oh... 200 00:08:19,094 --> 00:08:22,730 Aw...And they didn't even hear ya walk. 201 00:08:22,731 --> 00:08:25,066 [jingling] 202 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:30,371 Oh, adam! 203 00:08:30,372 --> 00:08:33,441 Thanks so much for the gift. 204 00:08:33,442 --> 00:08:36,644 Gift, uh... What gift is that? 205 00:08:36,645 --> 00:08:41,048 One your special super-squeezy hugs. 206 00:08:43,685 --> 00:08:45,019 Wait a minute. Where'd you get that? 207 00:08:45,020 --> 00:08:47,789 It was in my christmas stocking. 208 00:08:51,193 --> 00:08:52,960 Okay, um... 209 00:08:52,961 --> 00:08:55,396 Look, evelyn, there's been a bit of a misunderstanding. 210 00:08:55,397 --> 00:08:58,833 Um...That coupon wasn't meant for you. 211 00:09:00,169 --> 00:09:02,303 Oh. That's too bad. 212 00:09:02,304 --> 00:09:04,272 I've had kind of a rough week 213 00:09:04,273 --> 00:09:06,574 With the subway incident and all. 214 00:09:06,575 --> 00:09:10,111 I could have really used a hug. 215 00:09:12,614 --> 00:09:15,683 Wait. 216 00:09:15,684 --> 00:09:17,518 I am a man of my word. 217 00:09:17,519 --> 00:09:19,654 Get over here, you. 218 00:09:29,565 --> 00:09:30,898 Feel better? 219 00:09:30,899 --> 00:09:35,169 The coupon says two full minutes. 220 00:09:36,672 --> 00:09:38,639 That's why you work in legal. 221 00:09:42,311 --> 00:09:44,912 Oh, hey, there ya are. 222 00:09:44,913 --> 00:09:46,380 Wish I could've found you sooner, 223 00:09:46,381 --> 00:09:48,616 But you know guys... 224 00:09:48,617 --> 00:09:51,319 We don't ask for directions. 225 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,787 Shut up. 226 00:09:52,788 --> 00:09:56,090 Stupid dan and his dumb fiancee. 227 00:09:56,091 --> 00:09:58,125 How could they not know about that? 228 00:09:58,126 --> 00:09:59,861 I don't know. Maybe they're not hip 229 00:09:59,862 --> 00:10:02,330 To the standup comedy themes of the eighties. 230 00:10:02,331 --> 00:10:04,298 You know what I should do. 231 00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:05,967 Try to relax and have fun? 232 00:10:05,968 --> 00:10:08,169 Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? 233 00:10:08,170 --> 00:10:10,705 Yeah. 234 00:10:10,706 --> 00:10:13,074 No. I'm gonna bust out my hawaii story, 235 00:10:13,075 --> 00:10:14,642 And you are gonna set me up. 236 00:10:14,643 --> 00:10:18,513 So start talking about islands or vacations... 237 00:10:18,514 --> 00:10:20,748 Oh! There's pineapple on the buffet. 238 00:10:20,749 --> 00:10:22,383 I don't need you. 239 00:10:22,384 --> 00:10:24,519 Why has it become such a big deal all of a sudden 240 00:10:24,520 --> 00:10:25,987 For you to be the funny one? 241 00:10:25,988 --> 00:10:27,522 - Who said it's a big deal? - Oh, come on! 242 00:10:27,523 --> 00:10:29,757 I saw you making notes on a napkin over there. 243 00:10:29,758 --> 00:10:31,058 Maybe because I'm not working. 244 00:10:31,059 --> 00:10:33,261 I'm self-conscious about that. 245 00:10:33,262 --> 00:10:35,763 Audrey, you don't have to be self-conscious about anything. 246 00:10:35,764 --> 00:10:38,666 You're charming. You're beautiful. 247 00:10:38,667 --> 00:10:41,502 Oh...That's sweet. 248 00:10:41,503 --> 00:10:44,005 And I know you mean it, 'cause that's the first drink. 249 00:10:44,006 --> 00:10:46,073 Ha ha. 250 00:10:46,074 --> 00:10:47,875 Second? 251 00:10:49,177 --> 00:10:52,313 We've been here like eight minutes. 252 00:10:52,314 --> 00:10:54,749 Good time for a refill. 253 00:10:58,020 --> 00:10:59,654 And my grandmother had a heart attack 254 00:10:59,655 --> 00:11:01,722 Right on waikiki beach, 255 00:11:01,723 --> 00:11:04,392 So we had to drop everything and fly there. 256 00:11:04,393 --> 00:11:07,361 Straight from the airport to the morgue. 257 00:11:07,362 --> 00:11:10,431 Not exactly a dream trip to hawaii. 258 00:11:10,432 --> 00:11:12,567 Excuse me. 259 00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:14,936 I couldn't help but overhearing. 260 00:11:14,937 --> 00:11:17,104 Did someone just say hawaii? 261 00:11:22,544 --> 00:11:25,146 You know... 262 00:11:25,147 --> 00:11:26,814 The last time I saw legs like that, 263 00:11:26,815 --> 00:11:29,383 They were curled up under dorothy's house. 264 00:11:31,053 --> 00:11:32,086 Good one, sir. 265 00:11:32,087 --> 00:11:34,088 Now, if you'll please excuse me, 266 00:11:34,089 --> 00:11:35,723 I have more good cheer to spread. 267 00:11:35,724 --> 00:11:37,792 By letting everyone make fun of you? 268 00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:39,060 Here, I'll help. Check this out. 269 00:11:39,061 --> 00:11:43,497 These days, even the north pole is outsourcing. 270 00:11:43,498 --> 00:11:45,666 He's indian. 271 00:11:45,667 --> 00:11:47,702 Keep walking. 272 00:11:47,703 --> 00:11:49,737 Ha ha. [bells jingling] 273 00:11:49,738 --> 00:11:52,540 Are we hearing these bells, people? 274 00:11:52,541 --> 00:11:56,277 So originally, the coupons were for my fiancee, 275 00:11:56,278 --> 00:12:01,115 Then russell-- who shall remain nameless-- 276 00:12:01,116 --> 00:12:02,984 Gave them out. 277 00:12:02,985 --> 00:12:06,053 But you know what? I'm rollin' with it. 278 00:12:06,054 --> 00:12:08,122 How's the pressure, vic? 279 00:12:10,392 --> 00:12:13,027 You can go a little deeper. 280 00:12:14,563 --> 00:12:17,198 So day five, still no luggage. 281 00:12:17,199 --> 00:12:18,933 Finally, we go to check out-- 282 00:12:18,934 --> 00:12:21,602 What do we see at the bell desk? Our bags. 283 00:12:21,603 --> 00:12:25,139 Which had been there the entire time! 284 00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:28,809 I mean, can you imagine a worse trip to hawaii? 285 00:12:28,810 --> 00:12:30,678 [laughing] 286 00:12:40,922 --> 00:12:43,324 Hawaii story? 287 00:12:44,993 --> 00:12:49,263 Wish I could say I was surprised. 288 00:13:02,463 --> 00:13:04,331 Okay. There you go, pearl. 289 00:13:04,332 --> 00:13:06,266 You should get that bunion checked out. 290 00:13:06,267 --> 00:13:07,967 It's a little angry. 291 00:13:10,805 --> 00:13:13,206 Uh...Aren't you forgetting something? 292 00:13:15,009 --> 00:13:17,711 Merry christmas. 293 00:13:17,712 --> 00:13:20,480 I can't believe you're actually doing this stuff. 294 00:13:20,481 --> 00:13:22,182 Well, it was a little awkward at first, 295 00:13:22,183 --> 00:13:23,783 But I'm brightening their day, 296 00:13:23,784 --> 00:13:25,719 Which makes my christmas even better. 297 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:28,488 Better? It's supposed to be worse! 298 00:13:28,489 --> 00:13:31,658 Well, I'm sorry, but your little prank backfired. 299 00:13:31,659 --> 00:13:33,960 Plus, I can still give the coupons to jen 300 00:13:33,961 --> 00:13:35,962 Now that I got them all back. 301 00:13:35,963 --> 00:13:38,832 - Ah, nertz! - Yep. 302 00:13:41,802 --> 00:13:44,337 Wait a minute. They're not all here. 303 00:13:44,338 --> 00:13:45,805 Hey, adam. 304 00:13:45,806 --> 00:13:48,575 - Oh, hey, scotty. - I'd like to cash this in. 305 00:13:48,576 --> 00:13:49,976 Oh. 306 00:13:51,412 --> 00:13:53,913 Oh... 307 00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:57,117 Hey, hey, how 'bout... 308 00:13:57,118 --> 00:13:59,252 A little foot rub 309 00:13:59,253 --> 00:14:02,589 Or maybe a nice back massage instead? 310 00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:05,225 I want that one. 311 00:14:07,495 --> 00:14:10,463 Okay, scotty. Let's do this. 312 00:14:18,005 --> 00:14:20,273 - You okay? - Uh, well... 313 00:14:20,274 --> 00:14:22,409 I just told what I thought was a funny story, 314 00:14:22,410 --> 00:14:23,510 And it made a woman cry. 315 00:14:23,511 --> 00:14:25,912 Was it the asking for directions thing? 316 00:14:25,913 --> 00:14:27,414 'cause I don't really get it. 317 00:14:27,415 --> 00:14:29,249 But it didn't make me cry. 318 00:14:29,250 --> 00:14:31,084 Maybe jeff's right. 319 00:14:31,085 --> 00:14:33,787 He thinks I try too hard at parties. 320 00:14:33,788 --> 00:14:36,589 Look how hard he's working the buffet. 321 00:14:39,026 --> 00:14:42,395 God! Look at the poor guy stuck behind him. 322 00:14:42,396 --> 00:14:46,566 Get that guy a magazine. It's gonna be a while, pal. 323 00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:50,136 He looks like a whale scooping up plankton. 324 00:14:50,137 --> 00:14:51,337 Ha ha ha ha! 325 00:14:51,338 --> 00:14:52,839 That's hilarious! 326 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:54,641 It is? 327 00:14:54,642 --> 00:14:56,543 - What's so funny? - Audrey's talking about jeff. 328 00:14:56,544 --> 00:14:59,345 He looks like a bear with a tapeworm. 329 00:14:59,346 --> 00:15:01,181 [both laughing] 330 00:15:01,182 --> 00:15:03,483 Tapeworm! Ha ha ha! 331 00:15:03,484 --> 00:15:05,819 Now, check it out. Now he's stuck behind someone. 332 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:09,222 Watch him pull the old tap and slide. 333 00:15:09,223 --> 00:15:10,657 Tap... 334 00:15:10,658 --> 00:15:11,858 And slide. 335 00:15:11,859 --> 00:15:15,428 [laughter] 336 00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:17,197 [laughter continues] 337 00:15:17,198 --> 00:15:18,765 So after dinner, there's jeff 338 00:15:18,766 --> 00:15:21,201 Passed out at the table, hands down his pants. 339 00:15:21,202 --> 00:15:22,735 - Oh! - All in all, 340 00:15:22,736 --> 00:15:24,804 Not a great first thanksgiving with my parents. 341 00:15:24,805 --> 00:15:26,139 Ooh! 342 00:15:26,140 --> 00:15:27,207 Oh, here he comes. 343 00:15:27,208 --> 00:15:30,743 I bet he asks the location of a food item. 344 00:15:30,744 --> 00:15:33,580 Hey, aud, did you see where the stuffed mushroom guy went? 345 00:15:33,581 --> 00:15:35,648 [laughter] 346 00:15:40,488 --> 00:15:42,222 It's a gift. 347 00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:43,923 Anyway, 348 00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:45,291 It looked like you were doing great. 349 00:15:45,292 --> 00:15:48,027 I was. Felt pretty good. 350 00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:50,196 And you know, couldn't have done it without you. 351 00:15:50,197 --> 00:15:51,764 So you learned from the master. 352 00:15:51,765 --> 00:15:56,736 You were definitely my inspiration. 353 00:15:56,737 --> 00:15:58,171 Let's go. 354 00:16:00,441 --> 00:16:03,209 All right. Thank you. 355 00:16:03,210 --> 00:16:06,446 You know, I can't believe they make you wear this getup. 356 00:16:06,447 --> 00:16:08,748 Nobody made me. I wore this myself. 357 00:16:08,749 --> 00:16:12,151 [monotone] why did you do that. 358 00:16:12,152 --> 00:16:13,553 Because it's christmas, 359 00:16:13,554 --> 00:16:15,622 And if you can't have fun and loosen up on christmas, 360 00:16:15,623 --> 00:16:16,756 When can ya? 361 00:16:16,757 --> 00:16:19,959 Ah. Hey, speaking of loosening up-- 362 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:23,429 I have no interest in hearing how that sentence ends. 363 00:16:23,430 --> 00:16:26,633 Come on, can't ya... Let a guy try? 364 00:16:26,634 --> 00:16:29,302 Sorry. You're not really my type. 365 00:16:29,303 --> 00:16:32,138 Really? What's your type? 366 00:16:32,139 --> 00:16:34,474 Well, someone who embraces the joy of the holidays. 367 00:16:34,475 --> 00:16:38,745 Someone who gets into the fun and the spirit of christmas. 368 00:16:43,484 --> 00:16:46,419 [music changes to slow song] 369 00:17:03,203 --> 00:17:05,705 Christmas nertz! 370 00:17:17,585 --> 00:17:18,851 Whoa! 371 00:17:18,852 --> 00:17:22,422 Nothing on the coupon about that, scotty. 372 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,401 You know what is not good? 373 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:39,706 Diner eggnog. 374 00:17:39,707 --> 00:17:41,541 Really? Let me try it. 375 00:17:41,542 --> 00:17:43,943 Get your own. 376 00:17:43,944 --> 00:17:45,712 Oh, here it is. 377 00:17:45,713 --> 00:17:48,047 My mom sent me our family christmas photo. 378 00:17:48,048 --> 00:17:50,083 Oh... Well, wait. 379 00:17:50,084 --> 00:17:51,751 I thought adam wasn't gonna be in it. 380 00:17:51,752 --> 00:17:52,986 Oh, that's my cousin cynthia. 381 00:17:52,987 --> 00:17:55,588 Something's going on with her hormone-wise. 382 00:17:55,589 --> 00:17:59,058 - [groans] - oh, what's the matter? 383 00:17:59,059 --> 00:18:02,962 Ghost of christmas future come bearing test results? 384 00:18:02,963 --> 00:18:05,765 Can we skip the pleasantries? 385 00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:09,302 - What's your problem? - My problem is 386 00:18:09,303 --> 00:18:11,638 I tried to ruin all my friends' christmases 387 00:18:11,639 --> 00:18:13,106 And they had fun anyway. 388 00:18:13,107 --> 00:18:16,342 What's the matter with you? 389 00:18:16,343 --> 00:18:19,345 You're gonna have to be more specific. 390 00:18:19,346 --> 00:18:21,147 You're sad because you weren't able 391 00:18:21,148 --> 00:18:23,249 To ruin christmas for other people. 392 00:18:23,250 --> 00:18:26,119 I am. But maybe you're right. 393 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,021 Maybe that's not what christmas is all about. 394 00:18:28,022 --> 00:18:29,589 Maybe. 395 00:18:29,590 --> 00:18:32,859 Y-you think maybe it might not be about that? 396 00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:36,195 Why are you so against people enjoying christmas? 397 00:18:36,196 --> 00:18:37,697 Because I never did. 398 00:18:37,698 --> 00:18:39,966 When I was a kid, every December, 399 00:18:39,967 --> 00:18:41,567 My parents went to the bahamas 400 00:18:41,568 --> 00:18:44,604 And left me at home with my nanny helga. 401 00:18:44,605 --> 00:18:45,571 Oh... 402 00:18:45,572 --> 00:18:48,608 Poor helga. 403 00:18:48,609 --> 00:18:50,376 You're trying to make others feel awful 404 00:18:50,377 --> 00:18:51,811 Because misery loves company. 405 00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:56,182 See, jeff agrees with and approves of my behavior. 406 00:18:56,183 --> 00:18:58,384 But maybe I should 407 00:18:58,385 --> 00:19:01,120 Try to change my holiday spirit. 408 00:19:01,121 --> 00:19:02,588 You should. 409 00:19:02,589 --> 00:19:04,891 I wasn't really looking forward to the holidays this year. 410 00:19:04,892 --> 00:19:08,361 But it looks like it's gonna be a merry christmas after all. 411 00:19:08,362 --> 00:19:09,529 Ah! 412 00:19:09,530 --> 00:19:11,164 Oh, my god! 413 00:19:11,165 --> 00:19:13,733 I unscrewed that last night! 414 00:19:15,035 --> 00:19:16,436 It's a christmas miracle! 415 00:19:16,437 --> 00:19:20,206 God bless us all, every one. 416 00:19:23,690 --> 00:19:26,726 Okay. So I know it's not christmas yet, 417 00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:29,462 But I wanna give you your present now. 418 00:19:29,463 --> 00:19:33,032 Oh, it's so cute! 419 00:19:33,033 --> 00:19:33,999 [gasps] 420 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,401 Oh! Cuddles... 421 00:19:35,402 --> 00:19:36,702 Yep. 422 00:19:36,703 --> 00:19:38,804 - Massage. - Mm-hmm. 423 00:19:38,805 --> 00:19:41,006 Breakfast in bed. Oh, my gosh! 424 00:19:41,007 --> 00:19:42,842 And these are all actually gifts for me. 425 00:19:42,843 --> 00:19:45,111 None of them is really a gift for you. 426 00:19:45,112 --> 00:19:46,946 Well, there is one in there that's... 427 00:19:46,947 --> 00:19:50,282 Kind of a gift for me. 428 00:19:50,283 --> 00:19:52,017 I don't see it. 429 00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:54,286 Huh? [knock on window] 430 00:19:58,525 --> 00:20:01,994 Oh, come on, scotty! 431 00:20:04,898 --> 00:20:06,665 I'll be right back. 432 00:20:11,404 --> 00:20:13,572 What, you have to talk to that guy? 433 00:20:13,573 --> 00:20:16,275 Talk? 434 00:20:16,276 --> 00:20:18,110 I wish. 435 00:20:18,111 --> 00:20:22,452 -- Sync by Rafael UPD -- www.addic7ed.com/ 30986

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