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1
00:00:08,126 --> 00:00:09,192
What's up?
2
00:00:09,193 --> 00:00:10,560
Not you, sleepyhead.
3
00:00:10,561 --> 00:00:12,629
Come on, I'm doing a load
of whites--I need this top.
4
00:00:12,630 --> 00:00:16,533
Rangers Jersey
is not a top.
5
00:00:16,534 --> 00:00:18,385
Fine. Keep it on.
6
00:00:18,386 --> 00:00:19,970
I'll do the sheets next.
7
00:00:19,971 --> 00:00:21,755
You suck.
8
00:00:21,756 --> 00:00:24,341
What's with all
the morning peppiness?
9
00:00:24,342 --> 00:00:26,543
Ah, I'm just
rising and shining
10
00:00:26,544 --> 00:00:29,062
and greeting a new day.
11
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,731
Audrey...
12
00:00:30,732 --> 00:00:33,116
There's times
I've literally seen you
13
00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:35,485
give the sunrise the finger.
14
00:00:35,486 --> 00:00:37,921
Well, that finger was attached
to the old Audrey--
15
00:00:37,922 --> 00:00:39,723
the Audrey who was going
to a job every day
16
00:00:39,724 --> 00:00:41,525
that was crushing her spirit.
17
00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:43,293
New Audrey is excited
18
00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:48,799
to greet every day
of her bright, new future.
19
00:00:48,800 --> 00:00:52,736
New Audrey is not really
working for the old Jeff.
20
00:00:54,405 --> 00:00:57,040
You just--you--you quit
your job a week ago.
21
00:00:57,041 --> 00:00:58,809
What happened
to taking it easy
22
00:00:58,810 --> 00:01:01,911
and soul searching
and finding the meaning in life?
23
00:01:01,912 --> 00:01:03,913
I did all that yesterday.
24
00:01:03,914 --> 00:01:05,715
Besides, I'm too excited
to sleep in.
25
00:01:05,716 --> 00:01:07,100
This is my new start.
26
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,935
I'm getting stuff done.
27
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:10,287
Laundry,
28
00:01:10,288 --> 00:01:12,789
I, uh, changed all the batteries
on all the smoke detectors.
29
00:01:12,790 --> 00:01:15,475
Oh, that's what those are.
30
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:19,529
I thought those were
bug zappers.
31
00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:21,331
We don't have bugs.
32
00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:25,168
I thought that was because
of the zappers.
33
00:01:25,169 --> 00:01:26,769
Hey, you know, there's
something in this for you.
34
00:01:26,770 --> 00:01:29,372
I made you
a big, hot breakfast.
35
00:01:29,373 --> 00:01:30,907
Ah, you finally broke
the factory seal
36
00:01:30,908 --> 00:01:32,876
on that oven.
37
00:01:32,877 --> 00:01:34,444
Very funny.
38
00:01:34,445 --> 00:01:35,612
I'm not kidding.
39
00:01:35,613 --> 00:01:37,247
Remember that time
you baked,
40
00:01:37,248 --> 00:01:41,418
and the user's manual
burst into flames?
41
00:01:41,419 --> 00:01:44,488
Bacon, eggs,
sausage, and french toast.
42
00:01:50,661 --> 00:01:52,295
That's great--
keep it all warm,
43
00:01:52,296 --> 00:01:54,231
'cause I'm going back to bed,
and you're coming with me.
44
00:01:54,232 --> 00:01:56,833
No, Jeff.
I have too much to do.
45
00:01:56,834 --> 00:01:59,136
I wasn't talking to you.
46
00:02:03,505 --> 00:02:06,540
d How many ways
to say I love you? d
47
00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:13,414
d how many ways to say
that I'm not scared d
48
00:02:13,415 --> 00:02:15,683
d with you by my side d
49
00:02:15,684 --> 00:02:18,319
d there is no denying d
50
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,622
d that I can't wait
for me and you d
51
00:02:21,632 --> 00:02:25,632
d Rules of Engagement 5x06 d
Baked
Original Air Date on October 25, 2010
52
00:02:25,642 --> 00:02:28,642
-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
53
00:02:33,271 --> 00:02:34,638
Oh, you have got
the most adorable
54
00:02:34,639 --> 00:02:35,972
little cream-cheese
mustache.
55
00:02:35,973 --> 00:02:37,807
Oh.
How embarrassing.
56
00:02:37,808 --> 00:02:38,792
Oh, don't be embarrassed.
57
00:02:38,793 --> 00:02:40,560
I'll take care of it
for you.
58
00:02:43,381 --> 00:02:46,883
Oh, barf.
59
00:02:46,884 --> 00:02:48,752
Every morning for weeks.
60
00:02:48,753 --> 00:02:50,553
You know how much porn
I have to watch
61
00:02:50,554 --> 00:02:52,322
to get that image
out of my head?
62
00:02:52,323 --> 00:02:54,090
Even more than usual?
63
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,293
Yeah, but who
has that kind of time?
64
00:02:57,895 --> 00:03:00,513
You know, I thought
that, uh, tonight
65
00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:01,982
we could perhaps
take in a film.
66
00:03:01,983 --> 00:03:04,200
Oh, no. Tonight I thought
we'd have a candlelight dinner.
67
00:03:04,201 --> 00:03:05,435
You can make your quiche.
68
00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:09,773
Or perhaps
I could grill up a steak.
69
00:03:09,774 --> 00:03:12,742
Oh, I really wanted quiche.
Oh, well, then quiche it is.
70
00:03:12,743 --> 00:03:13,943
Oh.
71
00:03:16,981 --> 00:03:19,049
Oh, and, Timmy...
72
00:03:19,050 --> 00:03:20,517
After quiche,
73
00:03:20,518 --> 00:03:23,753
maybe I could tie a pink ribbon
around your nards,
74
00:03:23,754 --> 00:03:26,589
and then we can store 'em
in a basket of potpourri.
75
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:27,757
Ah.
76
00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:29,759
Mock away, sir.
77
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:31,628
Your razzing
of my relationship
78
00:03:31,629 --> 00:03:33,129
is infinitely preferable
to the japes
79
00:03:33,130 --> 00:03:34,631
you've previously
leveled at me,
80
00:03:34,632 --> 00:03:36,966
such as "little foreign boy"
81
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:38,535
or "cocoa nerd."
82
00:03:38,536 --> 00:03:41,271
I'm cuckoo for cocoa nerd.
83
00:03:41,272 --> 00:03:43,807
You know, being teased
for dating Allison
84
00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:46,109
actually makes me feel
like one of the guys.
85
00:03:46,110 --> 00:03:47,777
Well, you would be one
of the guys,
86
00:03:47,778 --> 00:03:50,246
if the guys were a bunch
of horny towel boys
87
00:03:50,247 --> 00:03:51,898
for an all-gay cricket team.
88
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:54,417
Ha! That's just
what I mean, sir.
89
00:03:54,418 --> 00:03:58,271
Once again, my masculinity
has been expertly diminished.
90
00:04:00,458 --> 00:04:01,958
All-gay cricket team--
91
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:04,494
excellent.
92
00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,916
Uh-huh,
that's great, Audrey.
93
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:13,420
So the heating guy
is coming on the 16th.
94
00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:15,238
Good.
So I've got about 24 days
95
00:04:15,239 --> 00:04:17,207
to prepare for that.
96
00:04:17,208 --> 00:04:19,743
No, I'm writing it down.
97
00:04:19,744 --> 00:04:22,045
I am.
I borrowed a pen from Adam.
98
00:04:22,046 --> 00:04:24,347
All I have is a pencil.
99
00:04:26,784 --> 00:04:29,119
My pencil.
100
00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:31,321
You're too sweet.
Wow.
101
00:04:31,322 --> 00:04:33,089
Ah, she's killin' me!
102
00:04:33,090 --> 00:04:35,325
I can't believe
I'm married to someone
103
00:04:35,326 --> 00:04:36,593
who's trying
to find herself.
104
00:04:36,594 --> 00:04:37,994
You know,
Jen went through a period
105
00:04:37,995 --> 00:04:39,229
of trying to find herself.
106
00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:41,865
She went vegan,
stopped shaving her legs.
107
00:04:41,866 --> 00:04:43,199
Ah, I remember that.
108
00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,703
And she wore shorts.
She looked like a centaur.
109
00:04:46,704 --> 00:04:49,706
Hey, that's my fiancee
you're talking about, okay?
110
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:52,208
What's a centaur?
111
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,810
It's, like,
a mythical creature,
112
00:04:53,811 --> 00:04:55,411
half-man, half-horse.
113
00:04:55,412 --> 00:04:58,014
Okay, we're good.
114
00:04:58,015 --> 00:05:00,450
Women are out of their minds,
but we got to be nice to 'em,
115
00:05:00,451 --> 00:05:03,420
'cause they control
all the lady parts.
116
00:05:03,421 --> 00:05:04,971
Hear, hear.
117
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,189
To women.
118
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:07,157
Can't live with them,
119
00:05:07,158 --> 00:05:08,892
yet life without them
represents
120
00:05:08,893 --> 00:05:10,927
an equally unpalatable
alternative.
121
00:05:10,928 --> 00:05:13,496
Am I not correct, dogs?
122
00:05:13,497 --> 00:05:15,331
What's with the cocoa nerd?
123
00:05:15,332 --> 00:05:17,450
Well, since he's got
a girlfriend,
124
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:19,869
he wants in
on all the guy talk.
125
00:05:19,870 --> 00:05:21,371
Ugh.
126
00:05:21,372 --> 00:05:23,840
Please be any other Audrey.
127
00:05:23,841 --> 00:05:25,542
Hello?
128
00:05:25,543 --> 00:05:28,711
Oh, hey, Audrey Bingham.
129
00:05:28,712 --> 00:05:30,279
That's it.
I'm done.
130
00:05:30,280 --> 00:05:32,215
Finished everything
on my list.
131
00:05:32,216 --> 00:05:33,950
I didn't need
to quit my job.
132
00:05:33,951 --> 00:05:36,085
I could have just taken
a day off!
133
00:05:36,086 --> 00:05:37,954
All right, calm down.
It's gonna be fine.
134
00:05:37,955 --> 00:05:38,988
Really, Jeff?
135
00:05:38,989 --> 00:05:41,224
What am I gonna do
for the rest of my life?
136
00:05:41,225 --> 00:05:44,794
I got some dry cleaning
that needs picking up.
137
00:05:44,795 --> 00:05:47,647
I got it, Jeff.
I was there when they opened.
138
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,133
I helped the guy
unload his van.
139
00:05:50,134 --> 00:05:52,335
Okay, you know what?
Calm down.
140
00:05:52,336 --> 00:05:54,971
Why don't you just
go down to the basement
141
00:05:54,972 --> 00:05:57,073
and, uh, get a start
on our storage locker?
142
00:05:57,074 --> 00:05:58,491
Oh, yeah.
That is a huge mess.
143
00:05:58,492 --> 00:05:59,909
Yes, good.
I can do that.
144
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:01,744
Listen, there's no
cell reception in the basement,
145
00:06:01,745 --> 00:06:03,496
so no need
to take your phone down there.
146
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:07,183
No, no, no--I use my phone
down there all the time.
147
00:06:07,184 --> 00:06:09,953
Uncool, dude.
148
00:06:09,954 --> 00:06:13,823
Bros precede hos.
149
00:06:19,129 --> 00:06:20,530
Oh, hey, Audrey.
150
00:06:20,531 --> 00:06:21,764
Hey--hey. Wow.
151
00:06:21,765 --> 00:06:23,399
That's a lot
of empty wine bottles.
152
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:26,002
You guys have a party?
No.
153
00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:28,338
You just save up
your recycling for a long time?
154
00:06:28,339 --> 00:06:31,274
No.
155
00:06:31,275 --> 00:06:34,477
Hey, so you and Adam
drink a lot of wine.
156
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:37,680
Actually, Adam
doesn't really like wine.
157
00:06:40,117 --> 00:06:42,685
So are you cleaning out
your storage locker?
158
00:06:42,686 --> 00:06:44,287
Yeah, yeah.
159
00:06:44,288 --> 00:06:45,989
Ran out of anything else
to do.
160
00:06:45,990 --> 00:06:48,324
Seemed like such a good idea
to quit my job,
161
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,060
but I got to find
some purpose for my life.
162
00:06:51,061 --> 00:06:53,229
Oh, well, don't put
so much pressure on yourself.
163
00:06:53,230 --> 00:06:54,931
You know,
it's like Oprah says.
164
00:06:54,932 --> 00:06:56,866
Sometimes, instead
of finding your bless,
165
00:06:56,867 --> 00:06:58,434
let your bliss find you.
166
00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:01,104
You know what?
You're right.
167
00:07:01,105 --> 00:07:02,705
It's only been a little while.
168
00:07:02,706 --> 00:07:04,641
I need to stop trying
so hard and relax.
169
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:05,708
Yeah, relax.
170
00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:07,477
Have some wine.
171
00:07:10,380 --> 00:07:11,581
So I'm with that girl--
172
00:07:11,582 --> 00:07:13,349
you know, the one
that I've been kind of...
173
00:07:15,853 --> 00:07:17,587
Yes, I believe
her stage name is destiny.
174
00:07:17,588 --> 00:07:18,621
Yes.
175
00:07:18,622 --> 00:07:20,089
Well, ironically,
176
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:22,158
destiny
was not meant to be.
177
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:25,128
So, uh, I tried to break it off
with her gently last night,
178
00:07:25,129 --> 00:07:26,696
but, of course,
she threw a fit,
179
00:07:26,697 --> 00:07:30,466
running alongside of the cab,
pounding on the door...
180
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:31,584
Demanding a ride home
181
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,870
or at least directions
back to the city.
182
00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:36,005
Not surprising, sir.
183
00:07:36,006 --> 00:07:39,142
The ladies,
they be trippin'.
184
00:07:39,143 --> 00:07:41,177
Take it easy, Arsenio.
185
00:07:41,178 --> 00:07:42,912
You're trying to be
one of the guys,
186
00:07:42,913 --> 00:07:45,148
not one of the black guys
from 1986.
187
00:07:45,149 --> 00:07:47,016
Oh, hello, there, Allison.
188
00:07:47,017 --> 00:07:48,751
Mr. Dunbar and I
were just enjoying
189
00:07:48,752 --> 00:07:50,186
some spirited guy talk.
190
00:07:50,187 --> 00:07:52,105
Guy talk?
Yes.
191
00:07:52,106 --> 00:07:53,856
Yet another benefit
of our relationship
192
00:07:53,857 --> 00:07:55,425
is entry
into the ribald fraternity
193
00:07:55,426 --> 00:07:57,660
of men dissing
on their females.
194
00:07:59,129 --> 00:08:01,564
I'm sure Allison doesn't want
to hear about all that.
195
00:08:01,565 --> 00:08:02,732
No, I would.
196
00:08:02,733 --> 00:08:04,434
I've always wondered
what boys talk about
197
00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:05,568
when they're hanging out.
198
00:08:05,569 --> 00:08:06,769
Oh, it is most amusing.
199
00:08:06,770 --> 00:08:08,321
For example,
at lunch today,
200
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,539
Mr. Bingham
said of women that--
201
00:08:09,540 --> 00:08:10,707
hey, whoa, Timmy.
202
00:08:10,708 --> 00:08:12,008
Uh-uh. No.
203
00:08:12,009 --> 00:08:14,477
You're not stealing
the punch line this time.
204
00:08:14,478 --> 00:08:16,546
Okay, go right ahead.
205
00:08:16,547 --> 00:08:19,415
He said, "women are out
of their minds,
206
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,717
"but we have to be
nice to them,
207
00:08:20,718 --> 00:08:22,418
because they control
all the lady parts."
208
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:25,822
Ha!
Such rowdy, good humor.
209
00:08:25,823 --> 00:08:28,308
You see, it's funny because
there's an element of truth to--
210
00:08:28,309 --> 00:08:30,760
did I say it wrong?
211
00:08:30,761 --> 00:08:33,062
No, Tim, you nailed it.
212
00:08:33,063 --> 00:08:34,998
Is that what
you think of women--
213
00:08:34,999 --> 00:08:36,265
that we're all crazy
214
00:08:36,266 --> 00:08:40,036
and that we're only valued
for our lady parts?
215
00:08:40,037 --> 00:08:42,238
Well, the thing is, it's...
216
00:08:42,239 --> 00:08:44,173
It's more the way he...
217
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:48,811
Mr. Dunbar?
218
00:08:48,812 --> 00:08:51,514
Allison and I are waiting
for an answer.
219
00:08:55,185 --> 00:08:57,587
So you found all my old stuff
from college.
220
00:08:57,588 --> 00:08:59,222
Yeah, it was
in the storage locker.
221
00:08:59,223 --> 00:09:03,259
It looks like you were
into some pretty cool stuff.
222
00:09:03,260 --> 00:09:06,045
Oh, my chumbawamba cd.
223
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,597
Oh, my God.
224
00:09:07,598 --> 00:09:10,333
You used to wear
an earring?
225
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:13,236
That's a tiny native American
dream catcher.
226
00:09:13,237 --> 00:09:15,571
Wow, chicks
at the wamba shows
227
00:09:15,572 --> 00:09:18,908
must have gone nuts for that.
228
00:09:18,909 --> 00:09:21,844
I did all right.
229
00:09:21,845 --> 00:09:24,547
Ooh!
It's santa.
230
00:09:24,548 --> 00:09:26,683
You had a santa bank?
231
00:09:26,684 --> 00:09:29,702
Were you saving up
for the other earring?
232
00:09:29,703 --> 00:09:31,254
Wait a minute.
233
00:09:31,255 --> 00:09:33,122
Could it be?
234
00:09:33,123 --> 00:09:36,826
Santa's holding?
235
00:09:36,827 --> 00:09:38,728
That's why
he's always so jolly.
236
00:09:38,729 --> 00:09:42,548
Yeah, the one at the mall
did always smell like pot.
237
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:45,501
We should get rid of it.
Absolutely.
238
00:09:45,502 --> 00:09:47,737
Of course,
there's different ways
239
00:09:47,738 --> 00:09:49,105
of getting rid of it.
240
00:09:49,106 --> 00:09:51,507
What? You want to smoke it?
That's not healthy.
241
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,243
You're just cranky
'cause we're out of wine.
242
00:09:54,244 --> 00:09:56,646
Good point.
I'll put a towel under the door.
243
00:09:56,647 --> 00:09:59,248
I'm gonna go throw on
some wamba.
244
00:10:06,740 --> 00:10:09,592
Hello, Audrey.
245
00:10:09,593 --> 00:10:13,763
The sole breadwinner
is home.
246
00:10:13,764 --> 00:10:15,932
Hey.
You want a cookie?
247
00:10:15,933 --> 00:10:19,435
I come home,
and you greet me in an apron
248
00:10:19,436 --> 00:10:22,071
with a plate full of cookies?
249
00:10:22,072 --> 00:10:25,208
Look who finally cracked open
the suggestion box.
250
00:10:27,478 --> 00:10:28,961
No.
251
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:30,579
When I was clearing out
our storage unit,
252
00:10:30,580 --> 00:10:31,681
I found something wonderful.
253
00:10:31,682 --> 00:10:33,149
Have one.
254
00:10:33,150 --> 00:10:35,918
You want me to eat a cookie
you found in the basement?
255
00:10:35,919 --> 00:10:38,488
Sorry, I didn't mean
to offend your delicate palate,
256
00:10:38,489 --> 00:10:41,724
guy who ate loose fritos
he found on the subway.
257
00:10:42,993 --> 00:10:44,694
Besides, I made these.
258
00:10:44,695 --> 00:10:46,162
Mmm.
259
00:10:46,163 --> 00:10:48,131
Tasty.
Yeah?
260
00:10:48,132 --> 00:10:49,799
When I was down there,
I found this old scrapbook,
261
00:10:49,800 --> 00:10:51,267
and there
was a whole section
262
00:10:51,268 --> 00:10:52,869
with my grandmother's
cookie recipes.
263
00:10:52,870 --> 00:10:54,437
Wow, that old racist
264
00:10:54,438 --> 00:10:56,372
sure knew her way
around a cookie.
265
00:10:56,373 --> 00:10:59,158
Anyway, I found her recipes
and started baking,
266
00:10:59,159 --> 00:11:00,960
and everything felt right.
267
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,178
Hey, whatever it takes
268
00:11:02,179 --> 00:11:03,996
to keep the wheels
from coming off the trolley.
269
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,983
Frankly, I thought
you were going a little nuts.
270
00:11:06,984 --> 00:11:09,418
I guess I don't have to...
271
00:11:12,523 --> 00:11:13,656
Worry.
272
00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,660
Any chance that's a roast?
273
00:11:26,530 --> 00:11:28,464
So what's up
with all the cookies?
274
00:11:28,465 --> 00:11:30,850
Well, after I found
the recipes and started baking,
275
00:11:30,851 --> 00:11:34,020
I got this idea
that this could be my business--
276
00:11:34,021 --> 00:11:37,123
selling
my gram-gram's cookies.
277
00:11:37,124 --> 00:11:39,058
I can start small--
just maybe one store at first,
278
00:11:39,059 --> 00:11:40,626
and then we'll see how it goes.
279
00:11:40,627 --> 00:11:42,361
Wait, a store?
280
00:11:42,362 --> 00:11:44,029
Yeah, that's what
I was thinking.
281
00:11:44,030 --> 00:11:46,532
I went down into that basement
with no purpose,
282
00:11:46,533 --> 00:11:48,835
and I came face-to-face
with destiny.
283
00:11:48,836 --> 00:11:52,221
Russell's friend?
284
00:11:52,222 --> 00:11:53,589
No, my destiny.
285
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,341
This is exactly
the kind of thing
286
00:11:55,342 --> 00:11:57,310
Oprah is always
telling people to do.
287
00:11:57,311 --> 00:12:00,012
She tells people
to bake cookies?
288
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:02,849
And then what--
send them to her?
289
00:12:04,735 --> 00:12:05,818
No.
290
00:12:05,819 --> 00:12:08,154
She tells people
to follow their bliss.
291
00:12:08,155 --> 00:12:11,390
And a cookie business
could be my bliss.
292
00:12:11,391 --> 00:12:13,092
So what do you think?
293
00:12:15,229 --> 00:12:17,396
Start-ups are really tough.
294
00:12:19,733 --> 00:12:21,734
Oh.
295
00:12:21,735 --> 00:12:24,670
Start-ups are really tough
296
00:12:24,671 --> 00:12:27,073
if you don't have
a fantastic product,
297
00:12:27,074 --> 00:12:29,242
like these cookies.
298
00:12:29,243 --> 00:12:30,977
Really?
Sure.
299
00:12:30,978 --> 00:12:33,146
Oh!
Isn't it exciting?
300
00:12:33,147 --> 00:12:35,214
Ah, good luck
trying to calm me down.
301
00:12:36,817 --> 00:12:38,935
Just to confirm it,
let's get somebody objective
302
00:12:38,936 --> 00:12:40,353
to, uh, try them
303
00:12:40,354 --> 00:12:41,854
and tell us if they're
good enough to sell, you know?
304
00:12:41,855 --> 00:12:43,523
Somebody who's not caught up
in all the excitement,
305
00:12:43,524 --> 00:12:44,640
like I clearly am.
306
00:12:44,641 --> 00:12:46,359
Yeah.
That's a good idea.
307
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:47,927
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
How about this one?
308
00:12:47,928 --> 00:12:50,830
Gram-gram's Fudge dunkers.
309
00:12:50,831 --> 00:12:53,733
Maybe we spend
another minute on the name.
310
00:12:56,436 --> 00:12:58,237
Okay.
311
00:12:58,238 --> 00:12:59,772
Now you feel mine.
312
00:12:59,773 --> 00:13:02,241
Okay.
Okay.
313
00:13:04,745 --> 00:13:06,679
Yeah.
314
00:13:06,680 --> 00:13:07,947
I get it now.
315
00:13:10,584 --> 00:13:12,018
No, no, shh!
316
00:13:12,019 --> 00:13:14,787
Just be cool.
Be cool. Be cool.
317
00:13:16,757 --> 00:13:19,625
Hello?
318
00:13:19,626 --> 00:13:21,861
What?
319
00:13:21,862 --> 00:13:24,363
Are you kidding me?
320
00:13:24,364 --> 00:13:27,066
Okay.
321
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:30,636
Oh, my God, the best thing
in the world just happened.
322
00:13:30,637 --> 00:13:32,238
Audrey invited us over...
323
00:13:32,239 --> 00:13:34,006
To eat cookies.
324
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:42,782
Mmm.
325
00:13:42,783 --> 00:13:44,317
So, Jen, what do you think?
326
00:13:44,318 --> 00:13:46,619
Are they as good
as famous amos
327
00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,421
or, uh, Mrs. Fields?
328
00:13:48,422 --> 00:13:50,957
No.
329
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,425
They're even better.
330
00:13:53,527 --> 00:13:56,095
It's like Mrs. Fields
had sex with famous amos,
331
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:59,265
and these cookies
are their babies.
332
00:13:59,266 --> 00:14:02,235
She'll eat anything.
She's like a goat.
333
00:14:02,236 --> 00:14:03,436
Hey!
334
00:14:03,437 --> 00:14:05,805
The question is,
would people pay for them?
335
00:14:05,806 --> 00:14:07,773
Mm...
336
00:14:07,774 --> 00:14:11,143
I would pay any amount
for these cookies.
337
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:13,229
Mm, I'm serious...
338
00:14:13,230 --> 00:14:14,814
Every cent I've got.
339
00:14:14,815 --> 00:14:19,018
I would sell my kidneys
to kidney purchasers...
340
00:14:19,019 --> 00:14:20,686
And then use my kidney money
to buy...
341
00:14:20,687 --> 00:14:23,122
What is this thing?
342
00:14:25,025 --> 00:14:26,792
What are you doing?
343
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:31,364
Discouraging Adam
from selling his kidneys.
344
00:14:31,365 --> 00:14:32,531
Jeff, I'm not an idiot.
345
00:14:32,532 --> 00:14:35,635
My life would be
so much easier if you were.
346
00:14:35,636 --> 00:14:37,970
If you didn't believe
in the cookie idea,
347
00:14:37,971 --> 00:14:39,672
why did you lie
and say you did?
348
00:14:39,673 --> 00:14:41,390
Because I'm your husband.
349
00:14:41,391 --> 00:14:43,342
And I didn't want
to crush your dreams.
350
00:14:43,343 --> 00:14:47,480
I figured I'd let dopey
and his goat do it for me.
351
00:14:48,849 --> 00:14:50,399
I'm dopey.
352
00:14:52,286 --> 00:14:54,487
This is great.
Great. Great, Jeff!
353
00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:56,939
I needed you to believe in me,
and now you pull this crap.
354
00:14:56,940 --> 00:14:58,941
Audrey!
Look, I was just trying to help.
355
00:14:58,942 --> 00:15:01,294
The olds are fighting.
356
00:15:01,295 --> 00:15:03,062
Bummer.
Let's go home.
357
00:15:04,031 --> 00:15:05,031
Or...
358
00:15:12,306 --> 00:15:14,307
Ohh...
359
00:15:14,308 --> 00:15:17,743
I knew these cookies
had to come from somewhere.
360
00:15:17,744 --> 00:15:20,646
You're just jumping into this
without thinking it through.
361
00:15:20,647 --> 00:15:22,798
Well, you could help me
think it through.
362
00:15:22,799 --> 00:15:25,318
Okay, all right, let's look
at the pros and the cons.
363
00:15:25,319 --> 00:15:29,255
On the con side,
there are no pros.
364
00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:30,423
I'm in finance.
365
00:15:30,424 --> 00:15:31,857
I-I know these things.
366
00:15:31,858 --> 00:15:33,359
I see people fail every day--
367
00:15:33,360 --> 00:15:37,129
people much smarter than you
with better ideas.
368
00:15:38,432 --> 00:15:39,665
Wow.
369
00:15:39,666 --> 00:15:43,302
You are the ass
beneath my wings.
370
00:15:43,303 --> 00:15:44,570
I'm sorry that you're upset.
371
00:15:44,571 --> 00:15:46,772
I'm just trying to save you
a lot of disappointment.
372
00:15:46,773 --> 00:15:49,075
Yeah, you know what? There's
not gonna be any disappointment,
373
00:15:49,076 --> 00:15:50,960
because I'm doing this
without you.
374
00:15:50,961 --> 00:15:52,278
And you'll see.
375
00:15:52,279 --> 00:15:54,213
Ah, won't I feel foolish
when you make a fortune
376
00:15:54,214 --> 00:15:57,133
selling gram-gram's
butt nuggets!
377
00:15:59,836 --> 00:16:02,221
Go, go, go, go, go.
378
00:16:09,896 --> 00:16:11,731
Mmm.
379
00:16:17,237 --> 00:16:18,904
Mr. Bingham,
you seem a bit down.
380
00:16:18,905 --> 00:16:20,806
Yeah, why the square face?
381
00:16:20,807 --> 00:16:23,159
Audrey's mad because
she's got this stupid idea
382
00:16:23,160 --> 00:16:24,844
for this stupid
cookie business,
383
00:16:24,845 --> 00:16:28,114
and she's mad
'cause I called it stupid.
384
00:16:28,982 --> 00:16:31,584
I don't know.
People love cookies.
385
00:16:31,585 --> 00:16:33,953
A lot of money to be made
in that game.
386
00:16:33,954 --> 00:16:35,187
Well, it's worked out well
387
00:16:35,188 --> 00:16:38,357
for you and your little
tree-trunk pals.
388
00:16:39,426 --> 00:16:41,160
My sympathies,
Mr. Bingham,
389
00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:44,497
for I, too, now find myself
in the punitive quarters
390
00:16:44,498 --> 00:16:47,466
of the doghouse region
of my old lady's regard.
391
00:16:49,302 --> 00:16:50,369
Explain.
392
00:16:50,370 --> 00:16:53,005
Well,
Mr. one of the guys here,
393
00:16:53,006 --> 00:16:56,142
uh, repeated your line about
women controlling the lady parts
394
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:57,860
to Allison.
395
00:16:57,861 --> 00:17:01,347
Okay, look, see, I know
that you're all geeked up
396
00:17:01,348 --> 00:17:04,517
on finding a nerd mate.
397
00:17:04,518 --> 00:17:06,452
You can never repeat
our stuff with them.
398
00:17:06,453 --> 00:17:08,387
That's what keeps
this whole man-woman deal
399
00:17:08,388 --> 00:17:11,323
from blowing all to hell.
400
00:17:11,324 --> 00:17:13,492
Valuable info, that.
401
00:17:13,493 --> 00:17:17,463
Thanks for the 4-1-1,
bro-seph.
402
00:17:17,464 --> 00:17:20,266
I've got to go take a walk
and figure stuff out.
403
00:17:20,267 --> 00:17:23,436
Later, Kumar.
404
00:17:23,437 --> 00:17:25,137
Keebler.
405
00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:34,280
Hey.
406
00:17:34,281 --> 00:17:35,448
Hey.
407
00:17:35,449 --> 00:17:36,949
I tried calling you,
408
00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:39,118
but you accidentally
left your phone here.
409
00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:42,388
Yes, that certainly was
an accident.
410
00:17:43,290 --> 00:17:44,824
I am sorry
about our fight.
411
00:17:44,825 --> 00:17:46,659
Me too.
412
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:48,694
I guess having
all this free time
413
00:17:48,695 --> 00:17:51,464
after 15 years of working
has made me a little crazy.
414
00:17:51,465 --> 00:17:55,100
Well, no,
not just a little.
415
00:17:56,736 --> 00:17:58,704
I should have been
more sensitive
416
00:17:58,705 --> 00:18:01,807
about what you're going through,
'cause, you know...
417
00:18:01,808 --> 00:18:03,709
You're my lady.
418
00:18:03,710 --> 00:18:05,177
I'm your "lady"?
419
00:18:05,178 --> 00:18:07,646
Who are you, Kenny Rogers?
420
00:18:07,647 --> 00:18:10,549
In many ways, yes...
421
00:18:10,550 --> 00:18:12,251
I am Kenny Rogers.
422
00:18:12,252 --> 00:18:15,221
I know when to hold 'em,
I know when to fold 'em.
423
00:18:15,222 --> 00:18:16,922
And I know
when to go all-in,
424
00:18:16,923 --> 00:18:21,093
and that is what I am doing
for your cookie business.
425
00:18:21,094 --> 00:18:23,596
Oh, well,
you don't have to.
426
00:18:23,597 --> 00:18:26,465
I was just grasping
for something to do.
427
00:18:26,466 --> 00:18:29,401
It's really sweet
that you want to support me,
428
00:18:29,402 --> 00:18:30,669
but I'm over it.
429
00:18:30,670 --> 00:18:32,571
You're over it?
Yeah.
430
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:34,073
You're over it?
431
00:18:34,074 --> 00:18:35,174
Mm-hmm.
432
00:18:35,175 --> 00:18:36,408
It would have been nice
433
00:18:36,409 --> 00:18:38,844
to have that information
about an hour ago.
434
00:18:42,682 --> 00:18:45,050
You leased a store for me?
435
00:18:45,051 --> 00:18:47,052
Well...
436
00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:49,454
I was feeling bad, so...
437
00:18:49,455 --> 00:18:50,756
Took a walk, and, uh,
438
00:18:50,757 --> 00:18:54,660
the landlord,
middle eastern fella,
439
00:18:54,661 --> 00:18:57,162
was putting up
a, uh, "for lease" sign.
440
00:18:57,163 --> 00:18:59,765
Oh, my God.
441
00:18:59,766 --> 00:19:01,500
I can't believe
you did this.
442
00:19:01,501 --> 00:19:02,668
Well...
443
00:19:02,669 --> 00:19:05,337
I wanted to make up
for not being supportive.
444
00:19:05,338 --> 00:19:07,306
Of course, the key component
of my plan
445
00:19:07,307 --> 00:19:11,577
was you having an interest
in selling cookies.
446
00:19:12,946 --> 00:19:14,997
Well, if it's
any consolation, sweetie,
447
00:19:14,998 --> 00:19:18,284
I love you.
It's no consolation.
448
00:19:18,285 --> 00:19:21,053
So this proves that you
respect and support me.
449
00:19:21,054 --> 00:19:22,721
Well...
450
00:19:22,722 --> 00:19:25,024
That is something.
451
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:27,059
And they say you can't put
a price on love.
452
00:19:27,060 --> 00:19:29,695
Actually, it's this figure
right here.
453
00:19:35,589 --> 00:19:37,796
- Ah, just coffee.
- Nothing for me, thanks.
454
00:19:38,458 --> 00:19:40,609
Ugh, I can't believe
we ate all those cookies.
455
00:19:40,610 --> 00:19:42,294
I may never
be hungry again.
456
00:19:42,295 --> 00:19:46,498
Ah, so our garbage
and old soup cans are safe?
457
00:19:46,499 --> 00:19:48,233
Enough with the goat.
458
00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:51,102
All right, don't ram me
with the horns.
459
00:19:52,138 --> 00:19:54,406
Yes, my sweet.
460
00:19:54,407 --> 00:19:57,125
Okay, then, bye, Allison.
461
00:19:57,126 --> 00:19:58,377
I tell you what.
462
00:19:58,378 --> 00:20:00,329
Ever since
our little guy-talk snafu,
463
00:20:00,330 --> 00:20:01,880
she just does not let up.
464
00:20:01,881 --> 00:20:04,850
Peck, peck, peck, peck,
peck, peck, peck.
465
00:20:04,851 --> 00:20:06,818
Timmy, I thought you were
really into Allison.
466
00:20:06,819 --> 00:20:08,804
Oh, I am.
It's just the fellas here
467
00:20:08,805 --> 00:20:11,456
have come to rely on me
for a little peppery banter.
468
00:20:11,457 --> 00:20:13,642
Not me.
I, for one, find it disre--
469
00:20:13,643 --> 00:20:16,628
shut up.
God.
470
00:20:16,629 --> 00:20:19,398
You know, you are always
so sweet and polite.
471
00:20:19,399 --> 00:20:21,400
Don't let
these cynical man-apes
472
00:20:21,401 --> 00:20:23,969
ruin you with their stupid,
primitive attitudes.
473
00:20:23,970 --> 00:20:25,837
Please do not become
one of them.
474
00:20:25,838 --> 00:20:28,307
Oh.
You know what?
475
00:20:28,308 --> 00:20:29,608
You're absolutely right.
476
00:20:29,609 --> 00:20:31,410
Thank you, Jennifer.
477
00:20:31,411 --> 00:20:33,245
I've erred, and I shall
return immediately
478
00:20:33,246 --> 00:20:34,780
to my former, better self.
479
00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:36,081
Good for you.
480
00:20:36,082 --> 00:20:39,451
Ahh.
481
00:20:39,452 --> 00:20:42,321
Well...
482
00:20:42,322 --> 00:20:43,722
Looks like someone
483
00:20:43,723 --> 00:20:46,725
had an extra helping
of bitch this morning.
484
00:20:48,361 --> 00:20:50,028
Ah.
All right.
485
00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:53,332
-- sync by elderman --
-- for www.addic7ed.com --
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