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1
00:00:08,257 --> 00:00:09,724
Hey.
2
00:00:09,725 --> 00:00:11,193
Timmy, I got a little invite
3
00:00:11,194 --> 00:00:13,228
to a shindig
in the Hamptons tomorrow.
4
00:00:13,229 --> 00:00:14,695
Be ready to leave at noon.
5
00:00:14,696 --> 00:00:18,065
And don't wear that jacket that
makes you look like a terrorist.
6
00:00:18,066 --> 00:00:21,169
Both personally hurtful
and politically incorrect, sir.
7
00:00:21,170 --> 00:00:23,104
Well done.
8
00:00:23,105 --> 00:00:25,123
However, I can't make it.
9
00:00:25,124 --> 00:00:27,192
Uh, why?
10
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,810
I'm doing volunteer work
tomorrow.
11
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:31,246
Oh, you gotta make up for
a little
12
00:00:31,247 --> 00:00:34,382
drinky-drinky, swervy-swervy?
13
00:00:34,383 --> 00:00:35,717
No.
14
00:00:35,718 --> 00:00:38,869
Oh, did you proposition
an undercover cop?
15
00:00:38,870 --> 00:00:40,538
No.
16
00:00:40,539 --> 00:00:43,107
Oh, it wasn't a cop?
How was she?
17
00:00:43,108 --> 00:00:46,427
There was no prostitute.
18
00:00:46,428 --> 00:00:49,214
I'm volunteering
for an organization
19
00:00:49,215 --> 00:00:52,266
that revitalizes empty lots
and turns them into parks.
20
00:00:52,267 --> 00:00:54,268
I've even been successful
in signing up
21
00:00:54,269 --> 00:00:56,304
a few recruits from the office,
sir.
22
00:00:56,305 --> 00:00:58,073
Okay, now I get
why you're doing this.
23
00:00:58,074 --> 00:01:01,109
Trying to dip your pen
in the company sluts.
24
00:01:01,110 --> 00:01:05,430
What started as a metaphor
ended in tragedy.
25
00:01:05,431 --> 00:01:07,916
Wait a second.
This one's married.
26
00:01:07,917 --> 00:01:09,617
This one's a lesbian.
27
00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:11,836
This one's quick with the mace.
28
00:01:11,837 --> 00:01:14,071
All right, fess up,
what's in it for you?
29
00:01:14,072 --> 00:01:15,841
I don't follow, sir.
30
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:18,877
Anyone who does any work
with a charity has an angle.
31
00:01:18,878 --> 00:01:21,412
My mom did it to get into
the right parties.
32
00:01:21,413 --> 00:01:23,965
My dad did it to look
like a big man,
33
00:01:23,966 --> 00:01:25,950
even though all he did
was write a check.
34
00:01:25,951 --> 00:01:30,522
My Uncle Glen did it until Child
Services shut down his camp.
35
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,306
Um...
36
00:01:32,307 --> 00:01:35,409
Well, I only volunteer because
it makes me feel good, sir.
37
00:01:35,410 --> 00:01:37,595
Oh, is that the way
you wanna play it?
38
00:01:37,596 --> 00:01:38,930
Tell you what.
39
00:01:38,931 --> 00:01:41,449
I'm gonna find out
why you're really doing this.
40
00:01:41,450 --> 00:01:43,084
Super use of your time, sir.
41
00:01:43,085 --> 00:01:44,936
Now, if you'll excuse me...
42
00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:46,104
Hey, whoa, whoa.
43
00:01:46,105 --> 00:01:48,322
I'll, uh, hang on to this.
44
00:01:48,323 --> 00:01:50,124
Why?
Are you going to sign up, sir?
45
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:51,359
No.
46
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,245
Just wanna get big ol' lesbian
Shirley's home number.
47
00:01:54,246 --> 00:01:57,065
She's growing her hair out,
I think she's coming around.
48
00:01:59,351 --> 00:02:02,571
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
49
00:02:04,239 --> 00:02:09,444
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
50
00:02:09,445 --> 00:02:11,962
♪ With you by my side ♪
51
00:02:11,963 --> 00:02:14,132
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
52
00:02:14,133 --> 00:02:17,785
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
53
00:02:25,577 --> 00:02:27,945
So then I sat down and he said,
54
00:02:27,946 --> 00:02:31,165
"Wow, the picture on your
profile page is way different."
55
00:02:31,166 --> 00:02:33,735
I said, "What do you mean?"
though I knew what he meant
56
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:36,203
because I used a blurry picture
of Kim Kardashian
57
00:02:36,204 --> 00:02:37,405
I found on the Internet.
58
00:02:37,406 --> 00:02:39,607
So you're not using
the blurry picture
59
00:02:39,608 --> 00:02:40,908
of Penelope Cruz anymore?
60
00:02:40,909 --> 00:02:43,411
No.
61
00:02:43,412 --> 00:02:45,980
So then I'm in the middle
of telling him
62
00:02:45,981 --> 00:02:47,782
how cool my new tap class is,
63
00:02:47,783 --> 00:02:50,685
when he remembers that he's
gotta go pick his sister up
64
00:02:50,686 --> 00:02:52,670
from the airport
and he's gotta go.
65
00:02:52,671 --> 00:02:57,108
Well, pfft, you don't want a guy
that forgetful anyway.
66
00:02:57,109 --> 00:03:01,512
Ugh, the Mets suck.
67
00:03:01,513 --> 00:03:04,181
Jeff, we are at dinner,
with Liz.
68
00:03:04,182 --> 00:03:07,485
Don't blame me,
blame the Mets bullpen.
69
00:03:07,486 --> 00:03:10,488
You shouldn't be checking the
baseball scores at the table.
70
00:03:10,489 --> 00:03:13,625
You're right.
There's a TV in the bar.
71
00:03:13,626 --> 00:03:17,429
FYI, I counted my shrimp.
72
00:03:21,583 --> 00:03:25,085
Anyway... Oh, what about that
guy that Lisa set you up with?
73
00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:26,871
Oh, I called him
for a second date
74
00:03:26,872 --> 00:03:29,441
and he told me he was moving
to Canada the next day.
75
00:03:29,442 --> 00:03:31,809
Well, that's just bad timing.
76
00:03:36,248 --> 00:03:39,250
I bet Jeff
didn't really count these.
77
00:03:44,790 --> 00:03:47,192
I just have the worst luck.
78
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:52,029
Did you know I haven't slept
with a man in almost a year?
79
00:03:53,148 --> 00:03:54,916
Well,
I have and let me tell you,
80
00:03:54,917 --> 00:03:56,684
you're not missing much.
81
00:03:56,685 --> 00:03:59,954
I'm starting to think no one
will ever sleep with me again.
82
00:03:59,955 --> 00:04:02,139
Oh, Liz, no, that's not true.
83
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:05,343
No? Then name one person
who would want me.
84
00:04:05,344 --> 00:04:07,479
I don't know, specifically,
but, uh...
85
00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:10,014
You don't have to do that,
it's hopeless.
86
00:04:10,015 --> 00:04:12,116
I just feel so alone.
87
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:15,520
Oh. Uh...
88
00:04:15,521 --> 00:04:17,272
Jeff.
89
00:04:19,141 --> 00:04:20,291
Huh?
90
00:04:20,292 --> 00:04:22,377
Jeff would totally
sleep with you.
91
00:04:22,378 --> 00:04:24,696
What?
92
00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:27,548
I probably shouldn't be
telling you this,
93
00:04:27,549 --> 00:04:31,336
but you know
how married people sometimes...
94
00:04:31,337 --> 00:04:33,672
No.
95
00:04:33,673 --> 00:04:36,708
Right.
Well, sometimes married people
96
00:04:36,709 --> 00:04:39,210
play that game where you
make a list, you know,
97
00:04:39,211 --> 00:04:40,645
of who you'd have sex with if
98
00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,514
something happened
to the other one.
99
00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:45,183
And it just so happens
you're on Jeff's list.
100
00:04:45,184 --> 00:04:47,118
Come on.
101
00:04:47,119 --> 00:04:48,219
No, I'm serious.
102
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:50,522
You're in the top five. Ha.
103
00:04:53,158 --> 00:04:56,027
Wow, Jeff finds me attractive.
104
00:04:56,028 --> 00:04:59,731
That makes me feel so good.
105
00:04:59,732 --> 00:05:02,667
But Audrey,
I would never do anything...
106
00:05:02,668 --> 00:05:05,887
Oh, no, no, of course.
I mean, I have to, but...
107
00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:14,362
Oh.
108
00:05:14,363 --> 00:05:16,564
Oh, God.
109
00:05:16,565 --> 00:05:17,749
Oh.
110
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,617
Adam, I am not enjoying this.
111
00:05:19,618 --> 00:05:22,954
It's like the soundtrack
to their sex life.
112
00:05:24,406 --> 00:05:26,374
You're so inconsiderate.
113
00:05:26,375 --> 00:05:28,576
He knows I'm trying
to lose a few pounds.
114
00:05:28,577 --> 00:05:32,380
Good. Maybe I can get a little
more room on the bench.
115
00:05:32,381 --> 00:05:35,216
What?
I'm sneakin' a cheek over here.
116
00:05:35,217 --> 00:05:38,253
Sorry, I can't help it,
these waffles are so good.
117
00:05:38,254 --> 00:05:39,487
Jeff, here, taste this.
118
00:05:39,488 --> 00:05:41,505
I can't,
I'm allergic to strawberries.
119
00:05:41,506 --> 00:05:44,042
My head swells up
like a bounce house.
120
00:05:44,043 --> 00:05:46,344
Uh-oh,
call the hospital.
121
00:05:46,345 --> 00:05:47,846
It already happened.
122
00:05:50,416 --> 00:05:52,033
Come on,
you guys used to be fun.
123
00:05:52,034 --> 00:05:54,135
What happened to the laughter?
124
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,038
Jen, you don't need
to lose weight.
125
00:05:57,039 --> 00:05:58,739
That's what I told her.
No, I do.
126
00:05:58,740 --> 00:06:00,841
I went to try on wedding dresses
this week
127
00:06:00,842 --> 00:06:03,844
and when they would fasten them
up the fat on the top of my back
128
00:06:03,845 --> 00:06:06,881
would pinch together.
Like a butt.
129
00:06:06,882 --> 00:06:09,116
Like a back butt.
130
00:06:09,117 --> 00:06:12,086
Oh, no. My cousin Wanda had one
of those at her wedding.
131
00:06:12,087 --> 00:06:14,421
Wanda the Hutt.
132
00:06:14,422 --> 00:06:16,257
See? You have to be
supportive of me.
133
00:06:16,258 --> 00:06:18,392
It'd be easier
if you weren't being crazy.
134
00:06:18,393 --> 00:06:20,928
You think you need to lose
weight, which you don't,
135
00:06:20,929 --> 00:06:23,064
then I suffer
because you won't let me keep
136
00:06:23,065 --> 00:06:25,166
my treats in the house.
137
00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:27,902
He calls them treats?
138
00:06:27,903 --> 00:06:30,538
Yeah, I've got some work to do
before the wedding.
139
00:06:30,539 --> 00:06:33,140
Hey, you made reservations
to Walden's Steakhouse
140
00:06:33,141 --> 00:06:35,076
for tomorrow, right?
Uh, yeah, yeah.
141
00:06:35,077 --> 00:06:38,145
And, um, sorry, but it turns out
it's gonna be a double date.
142
00:06:38,146 --> 00:06:40,948
Don't be mad at me, but Liz
met someone on the Internet.
143
00:06:40,949 --> 00:06:43,818
Oh, damn it.
144
00:06:43,819 --> 00:06:45,253
Is this Liz, your old boss?
145
00:06:45,254 --> 00:06:47,121
Whose tap recital
you had to go to?
146
00:06:47,122 --> 00:06:48,256
Yes.
147
00:06:48,257 --> 00:06:50,024
You know,
I thought there would be
148
00:06:50,025 --> 00:06:53,127
at least one other adult in it.
149
00:06:53,128 --> 00:06:55,196
I invited her
because I thought she'd be
150
00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:56,864
more comfortable with us there.
151
00:06:56,865 --> 00:06:58,866
She knows it's gonna take
all three of us
152
00:06:58,867 --> 00:07:01,302
to keep him from running away.
153
00:07:05,974 --> 00:07:08,976
Do, uh, you and Jen ever do
any charity work?
154
00:07:08,977 --> 00:07:10,811
Oh, sometimes.
155
00:07:10,812 --> 00:07:13,097
Uh, just last night Jen
did some charity work,
156
00:07:13,098 --> 00:07:15,333
if you know what I mean.
157
00:07:15,334 --> 00:07:17,468
You're referring to yourself
as charity?
158
00:07:17,469 --> 00:07:19,370
Oh, yeah.
159
00:07:19,371 --> 00:07:21,722
Oh, wait, no.
160
00:07:21,723 --> 00:07:22,924
Heh-heh.
Too late. You did.
161
00:07:22,925 --> 00:07:25,043
I just texted Jeff.
162
00:07:26,694 --> 00:07:28,363
So, what's going on over there?
163
00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:30,298
Jen is on this crazy diet.
164
00:07:30,299 --> 00:07:33,484
And last night
she ate some of my treats...
165
00:07:33,485 --> 00:07:36,654
I mean, my adult snacks.
166
00:07:36,655 --> 00:07:39,307
And then she got mad at
herself and threw the rest out.
167
00:07:39,308 --> 00:07:42,910
So I'm putting a lock on this
cabinet so she can't get to it.
168
00:07:42,911 --> 00:07:45,813
Heh. Congratulations.
You're engaged to a bear.
169
00:07:46,965 --> 00:07:48,432
Ah.
Hey.
170
00:07:48,433 --> 00:07:49,783
Hey, Jen.
171
00:07:49,784 --> 00:07:51,468
Hey, let me ask you a question.
172
00:07:51,469 --> 00:07:54,172
Do you ever do any, uh,
charity work?
173
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:56,340
Does talking to you right now
count?
174
00:07:56,341 --> 00:07:58,843
You know, I don't know why
I even come over here.
175
00:07:58,844 --> 00:08:01,479
Well, it's certainly not
in response to an invitation.
176
00:08:01,480 --> 00:08:05,166
All right, that's it,
I can take a hint.
177
00:08:05,167 --> 00:08:07,568
You guys wanna order Chinese?
178
00:08:07,569 --> 00:08:09,303
Oh, yeah, I'd love to.
179
00:08:09,304 --> 00:08:10,938
No. Too fattening.
180
00:08:10,939 --> 00:08:13,174
Not if you don't eat it.
181
00:08:13,175 --> 00:08:16,661
Oh, I think I poked the bear.
182
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:19,180
What's this?
183
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:22,150
I locked up the junk food so you
wouldn't be tempted to eat it.
184
00:08:22,151 --> 00:08:24,618
Seems pretty drastic,
but really not necessary.
185
00:08:24,619 --> 00:08:26,587
I've got all the healthy snacks
I need.
186
00:08:26,588 --> 00:08:30,291
Rice cakes, carrots, tofu...
187
00:08:30,292 --> 00:08:31,876
Hey, is that a Kit Kat wrapper?
188
00:08:31,877 --> 00:08:35,179
Oh. I can't believe
someone threw that in there.
189
00:08:35,180 --> 00:08:39,183
Whoa,
you killed a king-size.
190
00:08:40,536 --> 00:08:42,654
Ooh, don't show fear.
191
00:08:45,607 --> 00:08:48,109
Just make yourself seem bigger
and back away.
192
00:08:55,583 --> 00:08:56,951
Hello?
193
00:08:56,952 --> 00:08:58,786
Hey, it's me. You there yet?
194
00:08:58,787 --> 00:09:00,171
Yeah, I'm having a drink.
195
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:01,773
Listen,
I just got a text from Liz.
196
00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:03,140
Her date cancelled on her.
197
00:09:03,141 --> 00:09:05,776
Oh, let me guess, he found
that video of her on YouTube
198
00:09:05,777 --> 00:09:08,028
tap dancing
to "It's Raining Men."
199
00:09:09,415 --> 00:09:12,583
I don't know the reason. Listen,
I just got called into work,
200
00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:14,184
it should only be
a few minutes.
201
00:09:14,185 --> 00:09:16,921
I'll be there soon.
You and Liz start without me.
202
00:09:16,922 --> 00:09:19,724
Me and Liz alone?
I don't think so.
203
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,259
I don't need my steak
marinated in tears.
204
00:09:22,260 --> 00:09:25,529
And I don't have the strength
to defend my shrimp alone.
205
00:09:25,530 --> 00:09:30,434
Look, I'm just gonna walk around
the block until you get...
206
00:09:30,435 --> 00:09:33,771
Hey, Liz.
207
00:09:33,772 --> 00:09:35,273
Get here.
208
00:09:44,199 --> 00:09:45,766
Timmy!
209
00:09:48,237 --> 00:09:49,770
Oh, dear.
210
00:09:49,771 --> 00:09:51,522
Why, sir? Why?
211
00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:55,376
Still trying to find out
what your angle is, buddy.
212
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,361
Oh, there we go, free food.
213
00:09:57,362 --> 00:10:01,549
Ah, yes, because how else would
I acquire a limp deli sandwich?
214
00:10:01,550 --> 00:10:04,585
Hey, where are the rest
of the hoes?
215
00:10:04,586 --> 00:10:05,836
They're back in the van.
216
00:10:05,837 --> 00:10:07,988
Aha, that's it!
217
00:10:07,989 --> 00:10:10,758
Party van full of ho's.
218
00:10:10,759 --> 00:10:12,009
Not your kind of ho, sir.
219
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,661
This kind.
220
00:10:13,662 --> 00:10:14,796
Oh.
221
00:10:14,797 --> 00:10:17,631
Most disappointing homonym ever.
222
00:10:17,632 --> 00:10:19,783
So you, uh...
223
00:10:19,784 --> 00:10:22,453
You really get a good feeling
from doing this stuff?
224
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:23,904
Yes, I do, sir.
225
00:10:23,905 --> 00:10:25,622
I wanna feel good too.
226
00:10:25,623 --> 00:10:26,974
Seriously?
227
00:10:26,975 --> 00:10:28,292
Yeah.
Okay, then.
228
00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:30,127
Right on, sir.
There you go.
229
00:10:30,128 --> 00:10:31,595
All right!
230
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,530
How does it work?
231
00:10:40,322 --> 00:10:42,890
Whoo.
232
00:10:42,891 --> 00:10:44,158
Sir?
233
00:10:44,159 --> 00:10:46,043
Yeah?
234
00:10:48,596 --> 00:10:51,399
Timmy! Timmy!
235
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:52,733
What is it?
236
00:10:52,734 --> 00:10:54,235
Sir, it's a blister.
237
00:10:56,104 --> 00:10:58,539
Is there a cure?
238
00:11:02,978 --> 00:11:05,529
I'll have the New York strip,
rare,
239
00:11:05,530 --> 00:11:06,997
with the truffle butter.
240
00:11:06,998 --> 00:11:08,999
Great choice, sir.
241
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,267
Oh.
242
00:11:10,268 --> 00:11:13,471
I really don't like meat.
243
00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:16,240
This is hard for me.
244
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:19,693
It's hard for all of us.
245
00:11:20,895 --> 00:11:22,763
I'll come back.
Can I get you another?
246
00:11:22,764 --> 00:11:25,199
Never stop getting me another.
247
00:11:28,336 --> 00:11:30,638
Well, at least I can
eat whatever I want.
248
00:11:30,639 --> 00:11:33,006
Don't have to worry
about impressing a date.
249
00:11:33,007 --> 00:11:34,892
Yeah, I'm sorry
that he cancelled.
250
00:11:34,893 --> 00:11:37,694
But gall bladders burst.
251
00:11:37,695 --> 00:11:39,413
Very common.
252
00:11:39,414 --> 00:11:43,267
I know four men this year.
253
00:11:43,268 --> 00:11:46,537
Normally I'd be bummed, but
I'm feeling pretty good lately,
254
00:11:46,538 --> 00:11:48,706
and, well, I have you to thank.
255
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:50,942
Ah. What'd I do?
256
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:53,611
Heh. I don't know
if she mentioned anything,
257
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:55,646
but Audrey told me
about your list.
258
00:11:55,647 --> 00:11:58,849
Favorite quarterbacks,
microbrews,
259
00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:00,467
what list are we talking about?
260
00:12:00,468 --> 00:12:04,722
Your list of who you'd sleep
with if Audrey wasn't around.
261
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:08,058
Oh, yeah, that's a good one.
262
00:12:10,312 --> 00:12:11,578
I know.
263
00:12:11,579 --> 00:12:14,164
And I'm flattered
to be on it. Ha-ha.
264
00:12:22,090 --> 00:12:23,824
On what?
265
00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:28,111
You don't have to be
embarrassed.
266
00:12:28,112 --> 00:12:30,280
Audrey told me
I was in the top five.
267
00:12:32,450 --> 00:12:35,253
Did she?
268
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:38,339
I bring it up
because I'd like to know
269
00:12:38,340 --> 00:12:41,208
what qualities I should
highlight on future dates.
270
00:12:41,209 --> 00:12:46,196
So, what is it about me exactly
that you are so attracted to?
271
00:12:48,550 --> 00:12:50,218
Jeff?
Yeah, I'm thinking.
272
00:12:50,219 --> 00:12:52,920
It's just a toughie.
It's really tough,
273
00:12:52,921 --> 00:12:54,622
you know, to narrow it down.
274
00:12:54,623 --> 00:12:56,373
I...
275
00:12:56,374 --> 00:12:59,343
like the way that you...
276
00:12:59,344 --> 00:13:01,295
wear your stretch pants.
277
00:13:03,698 --> 00:13:05,399
Oh, you can do better
than that.
278
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:07,635
I'm not sure that I can.
279
00:13:09,871 --> 00:13:11,739
Maybe you like my breasts?
280
00:13:11,740 --> 00:13:13,974
Oh.
281
00:13:13,975 --> 00:13:15,843
Wanna know a secret
about my breasts?
282
00:13:15,844 --> 00:13:17,578
No.
283
00:13:19,130 --> 00:13:21,465
One's longer than the other.
284
00:13:31,976 --> 00:13:33,360
What happened?
285
00:13:33,361 --> 00:13:35,579
I smelled donuts.
286
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:38,499
No, but...
But I hid the screwdriver.
287
00:13:38,500 --> 00:13:41,685
I used my hands.
288
00:13:41,686 --> 00:13:44,338
My God, you are a bear.
289
00:13:56,834 --> 00:14:00,004
You're really
going to town there.
290
00:14:00,005 --> 00:14:03,440
So that's before you got
the special bra, huh?
291
00:14:05,277 --> 00:14:07,778
That's why I got it.
292
00:14:09,614 --> 00:14:11,282
All right then.
293
00:14:13,584 --> 00:14:16,653
Oh, it's Audrey.
Excuse me.
294
00:14:16,654 --> 00:14:19,723
Thank God. Where are you?
295
00:14:19,724 --> 00:14:22,109
Jeff, I'm so sorry.
I'm not gonna make it.
296
00:14:22,110 --> 00:14:23,677
What?
297
00:14:23,678 --> 00:14:26,614
We have to rebuild the whole
issue tonight. There's no way.
298
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:28,348
Quit your job.
299
00:14:29,817 --> 00:14:31,635
What?
Quit your job,
300
00:14:31,636 --> 00:14:35,072
and start pursuing your dream
of getting me out of here.
301
00:14:35,073 --> 00:14:37,341
Yeah, sorry.
302
00:14:37,342 --> 00:14:40,478
Hey, listen, I...
I doubt this will come up,
303
00:14:40,479 --> 00:14:42,914
but the other day
Liz was so down
304
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:45,616
I-I sort of,
kind of told her...
305
00:14:45,617 --> 00:14:48,486
I wanted to sleep with her.
It came up.
306
00:14:48,487 --> 00:14:51,255
Jeff,
please do not hurt her feelings.
307
00:14:51,256 --> 00:14:52,290
Her feelings?
308
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:54,208
How do you think
Danica Patrick feels
309
00:14:54,209 --> 00:14:57,495
knowing she got bumped off
my list for Miss Long-Boob here?
310
00:14:57,496 --> 00:15:00,864
She told you about that?
311
00:15:00,865 --> 00:15:02,833
You know she showed me once.
312
00:15:05,086 --> 00:15:07,254
It looks like a sock
full of sand.
313
00:15:12,410 --> 00:15:15,195
Anyway, babe, I'm really sorry.
I gotta go.
314
00:15:15,196 --> 00:15:16,196
No.
Sorry.
315
00:15:16,197 --> 00:15:17,498
No.
316
00:15:29,961 --> 00:15:32,095
Timmy.
317
00:15:34,266 --> 00:15:36,700
It's not working.
318
00:15:36,701 --> 00:15:39,553
What's not working, sir,
besides you?
319
00:15:39,554 --> 00:15:41,071
That good feeling
you promised me.
320
00:15:41,072 --> 00:15:42,773
Where is it? I want it.
321
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:45,976
Hey, Timir.
The wood chips came in.
322
00:15:45,977 --> 00:15:47,978
We can start filling
in the playground.
323
00:15:47,979 --> 00:15:49,046
Be there in a second.
324
00:15:49,047 --> 00:15:52,365
Hey, what did he just call you?
325
00:15:52,366 --> 00:15:55,019
Timir. It's my Indian name.
I prefer Timmy.
326
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:56,836
I'm sure you do, Timir.
327
00:15:56,837 --> 00:15:58,872
Ha-ha! Hey, Timir,
328
00:15:58,873 --> 00:16:01,041
I'm starting to get
that good feeling.
329
00:16:01,042 --> 00:16:03,544
It's a Timir-acle.
330
00:16:03,545 --> 00:16:04,678
You finished, sir?
331
00:16:04,679 --> 00:16:09,349
Au contraire,
I'm Timir-ly getting started.
332
00:16:09,350 --> 00:16:11,085
Aw, come here, Timir.
333
00:16:11,086 --> 00:16:14,255
I didn't even try on that one!
334
00:16:14,256 --> 00:16:19,059
Sir, no matter how much
you ridicule me,
335
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,694
you cannot take away the pride,
336
00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:23,080
the sense of accomplishment
I will feel every day
337
00:16:23,081 --> 00:16:24,831
when I walk by this park.
338
00:16:24,832 --> 00:16:26,867
And that is a feeling
you will never have.
339
00:16:26,868 --> 00:16:29,270
I feel sorry for you,
Russell Dunbar.
340
00:16:29,271 --> 00:16:32,155
I really do.
341
00:16:32,156 --> 00:16:35,042
Hey, that guy's name is Timir.
342
00:16:35,043 --> 00:16:37,711
So?
343
00:16:37,712 --> 00:16:39,546
Seemed funny.
344
00:16:42,183 --> 00:16:45,285
Jeff, I could really use
your insight here.
345
00:16:45,286 --> 00:16:48,906
When did it occur to you that
you wanted to make love to me?
346
00:16:51,426 --> 00:16:53,443
I don't remember.
347
00:16:55,229 --> 00:16:58,265
Was it the time I was over
showing off the shimmer unitard
348
00:16:58,266 --> 00:16:59,884
I wore for my tap recital?
349
00:16:59,885 --> 00:17:02,486
I think it's safe to say
it was another time.
350
00:17:04,839 --> 00:17:07,090
Here's your strawberry daiquiri.
Mm, yummy!
351
00:17:07,091 --> 00:17:09,243
Is there anything else
I can get for you?
352
00:17:09,244 --> 00:17:11,011
You know, I think we will order
353
00:17:11,012 --> 00:17:12,779
that chocolate soufflé
after all.
354
00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:15,348
Just a reminder, it'll take
45 minutes to prepare.
355
00:17:15,349 --> 00:17:18,885
No, no. Look, we need something
that's ready right now.
356
00:17:18,886 --> 00:17:21,588
Don't listen to him.
He's just being silly.
357
00:17:21,589 --> 00:17:24,257
Okay, one souffle coming up.
358
00:17:27,562 --> 00:17:28,863
Want a taste?
359
00:17:28,864 --> 00:17:31,314
Uh, no. No strawberries.
360
00:17:31,315 --> 00:17:34,118
Okay, well,
since we have more time,
361
00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:36,920
let me ask:
If it wasn't my unitard
362
00:17:36,921 --> 00:17:39,189
that caught your eye,
what was it?
363
00:17:39,190 --> 00:17:40,657
And be specific.
364
00:17:40,658 --> 00:17:43,494
Look, I really don't remember.
365
00:17:43,495 --> 00:17:46,964
Oh, was it the time
I split my bike shorts
366
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:49,049
and you could see everything?
367
00:17:53,838 --> 00:17:56,173
Give me that.
368
00:17:59,444 --> 00:18:01,011
I can't believe you.
369
00:18:01,012 --> 00:18:02,980
You...
You could have died.
370
00:18:02,981 --> 00:18:06,317
Worth it.
371
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,001
Well, I am proud of you
372
00:18:08,002 --> 00:18:10,403
for not saying anything
to hurt her feelings.
373
00:18:10,404 --> 00:18:12,689
Yeah, if you think about it
I'm kind of a hero.
374
00:18:12,690 --> 00:18:15,292
I wouldn't go that far,
but I guess I do owe you one.
375
00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:19,613
I have some thoughts on exactly
how you might repay me.
376
00:18:19,614 --> 00:18:23,049
Oh, really? Here?
377
00:18:23,050 --> 00:18:27,020
I spent six minutes
watching her tap dance video.
378
00:18:28,173 --> 00:18:29,340
Yeah, here.
379
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:36,813
Hey.
380
00:18:36,814 --> 00:18:38,515
Oh, why are you here, sir?
381
00:18:38,516 --> 00:18:41,485
Did you realize that "Timir"
rhymes with "queer"?
382
00:18:41,486 --> 00:18:45,289
No, but that's extremely
excellent. Ha-ha!
383
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:48,475
No, uh, I'm here
for the park dedication.
384
00:18:48,476 --> 00:18:51,295
Really? And why is that?
Well, because I was wrong.
385
00:18:51,296 --> 00:18:53,046
You did a decent
and charitable thing
386
00:18:53,047 --> 00:18:54,748
without any selfish motivation.
387
00:18:54,749 --> 00:18:56,750
I think I understand
what a good feeling
388
00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:58,785
that gives a person.
Really?
389
00:18:58,786 --> 00:19:00,087
Well, if that's the case,
390
00:19:00,088 --> 00:19:01,955
you too can experience
this feeling.
391
00:19:01,956 --> 00:19:04,625
It means a long term commitment,
hours of hard work.
392
00:19:04,626 --> 00:19:07,677
Yeah, that's not really my
thing, so I'm gonna get it now.
393
00:19:07,678 --> 00:19:09,897
Chief, let's light this candle.
394
00:19:13,201 --> 00:19:15,168
Welcome, everyone.
395
00:19:15,169 --> 00:19:18,404
Right now I'd like to introduce
you to a great man,
396
00:19:18,405 --> 00:19:21,992
whose generous donation
of $20,000
397
00:19:21,993 --> 00:19:24,077
made all of this possible.
398
00:19:24,078 --> 00:19:25,729
No. No, you didn't.
399
00:19:25,730 --> 00:19:29,049
I kinda did.
400
00:19:29,050 --> 00:19:31,952
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Russell Dunbar.
401
00:19:31,953 --> 00:19:34,054
Oh, thank you.
402
00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:36,723
Oh, that's nice.
I appreciate it. That's great.
403
00:19:36,724 --> 00:19:38,992
That's enough. That's enough.
404
00:19:38,993 --> 00:19:41,862
Twenty thousand is a lot.
405
00:19:41,863 --> 00:19:42,863
Thank you.
406
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,000
Mr. Dunbar,
would you do us the honor?
407
00:19:47,001 --> 00:19:48,168
Oh, okay.
408
00:19:48,169 --> 00:19:50,470
Look at that. Hey, that's me!
409
00:19:51,473 --> 00:19:52,990
Can we get a picture?
410
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:55,842
Oh, wait. This isn't right.
411
00:19:55,843 --> 00:19:57,044
Timmy?
412
00:19:57,045 --> 00:19:58,745
Yes, sir?
Can you hand me that hoe?
413
00:20:00,531 --> 00:20:03,317
Oh, come here, Timir.
414
00:20:04,485 --> 00:20:06,086
That's funny, right?
415
00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:10,657
Hey, what say we get the other
kind of hoes down here, huh?
416
00:20:10,658 --> 00:20:13,193
Ha-ha. Huh?
Who's with me, huh?
417
00:20:13,194 --> 00:20:14,862
No one?
418
00:20:19,150 --> 00:20:21,118
So how's Jennifer's
diet coming?
419
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,019
Not good.
This morning I caught her
420
00:20:23,020 --> 00:20:26,406
eating hot chocolate powder
with butter.
421
00:20:26,407 --> 00:20:29,359
Well, I can't take it anymore
so I came up with a plan.
422
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,394
Uh-oh. This'll be good.
423
00:20:31,395 --> 00:20:33,664
See, I adjusted the scale ahead
six pounds
424
00:20:33,665 --> 00:20:36,566
so she'll think she lost weight
even though she hasn't.
425
00:20:36,567 --> 00:20:39,269
You mean you adjusted it
back six pounds.
426
00:20:39,270 --> 00:20:41,321
No, it's forward, 'cause...
427
00:20:44,959 --> 00:20:46,660
Oh, no.
30534
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