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1
00:00:06,133 --> 00:00:08,534
Oh, hello.
2
00:00:10,701 --> 00:00:12,367
Nice robe, Hef.
3
00:00:14,434 --> 00:00:15,734
Why'd you double lock the door?
4
00:00:15,734 --> 00:00:18,400
Well, I guess I just had
5
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:20,734
too much cash on me.
6
00:00:27,601 --> 00:00:31,701
Why? Why can't I
be more surprised?
7
00:00:31,701 --> 00:00:33,767
Guess who just sold
his bitching Camaro?
8
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,567
The profit is currently
preventing you
9
00:00:36,567 --> 00:00:39,000
from seeing my hot bod.
10
00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:41,601
Why did you sell that car?
11
00:00:41,601 --> 00:00:42,667
I thought you loved it.
12
00:00:42,667 --> 00:00:44,767
The guy who bought it
loved it more.
13
00:00:44,767 --> 00:00:46,367
So how much did we make?
14
00:00:46,367 --> 00:00:48,434
Start plucking and find out.
15
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:54,501
The dollar values increase
as you approach the target area.
16
00:00:58,000 --> 00:01:00,567
I-I'm gonna let you
approach your own target area.
17
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:06,000
That's a far too familiar trip.
18
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:09,634
Anyway, we're up about 2000.
19
00:01:09,634 --> 00:01:12,000
Well done. So what are we
going to do with it?
20
00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:16,434
You know,
besides, uh, shave it.
21
00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:18,968
Well, we're gonna put it
in the retirement fund.
22
00:01:18,968 --> 00:01:21,534
We're this much closer
to dying with a nice boat.
23
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:26,300
So now let's do something
that may not be legal.
24
00:01:26,300 --> 00:01:28,467
But it's definitely tender.
25
00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:34,734
Oh! Hey, Dad.
26
00:01:34,734 --> 00:01:38,434
Great, I'll just stand here
like this.
27
00:01:38,434 --> 00:01:40,601
Oh, good, do you like it?
28
00:01:40,601 --> 00:01:42,968
He's thanking us for
the new laptop we sent them.
29
00:01:42,968 --> 00:01:45,601
Oh, by the way,
we sent them a new laptop.
30
00:01:45,601 --> 00:01:47,267
Yeah, what?
31
00:01:47,267 --> 00:01:50,567
Well, it doesn't matter
how much it cost. Dad...
32
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:53,501
Dad, please don't return it.
33
00:01:53,501 --> 00:01:56,567
Okay. Well, y-you can
do whatever you want.
34
00:01:56,567 --> 00:02:00,033
All right, bye-bye.
35
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:03,434
God, it was a gift, it's not
his business how much it cost.
36
00:02:03,434 --> 00:02:05,033
How much did it cost?
37
00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:08,934
You know, he has
worked hard his whole life.
38
00:02:08,934 --> 00:02:10,901
Can't they ever
just enjoy their money?
39
00:02:10,901 --> 00:02:13,701
My mom can't use a tea bag
without wrapping it in foil
40
00:02:13,701 --> 00:02:16,534
and using it three more times.
41
00:02:16,534 --> 00:02:18,868
Does that work?
42
00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,467
I mean, save some, sure.
43
00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:25,000
But, God, you gotta
enjoy your life.
44
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,067
Uh, it's just their
Midwestern way of thinking.
45
00:02:27,067 --> 00:02:28,868
There's nothing wrong
with appreciating
46
00:02:28,868 --> 00:02:31,200
the value of a dollar.
47
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:34,667
Speaking of appreciating
a dollar.
48
00:02:35,934 --> 00:02:37,434
You know what?
49
00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:41,067
We're not gonna put
that money away for our future.
50
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:43,067
Okay, look, this is just
a reaction to your dad.
51
00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:44,133
And it's not sensible.
52
00:02:44,133 --> 00:02:45,267
That's the point.
53
00:02:45,267 --> 00:02:47,501
Let's just not be
sensible for once.
54
00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:51,734
Let's spend it all on one
fabulous, luxurious night.
55
00:02:51,734 --> 00:02:53,100
Audrey, finance is my business.
56
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:55,667
I warn my clients against
this kind of thing all the time.
57
00:02:55,667 --> 00:02:57,968
Against what?
Enjoying their money?
58
00:02:57,968 --> 00:03:00,167
No, against listening
to their wives.
59
00:03:01,234 --> 00:03:02,667
Come on.
60
00:03:02,667 --> 00:03:04,834
That's the house's money.
61
00:03:04,834 --> 00:03:08,901
And I'm pretty sure
the house does not want it back.
62
00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:10,934
I don't know.
No.
63
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:12,868
Please, just do this.
64
00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:15,434
Just don't be like my father.
65
00:03:15,434 --> 00:03:17,467
All right, I won't be
like your father.
66
00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:18,767
But that doesn't preclude me
67
00:03:18,767 --> 00:03:20,934
from spanking you
if you've been a bad girl.
68
00:03:25,300 --> 00:03:27,801
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
69
00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:33,434
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
70
00:03:33,434 --> 00:03:36,334
♪ With you by my side ♪
71
00:03:36,334 --> 00:03:38,968
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
72
00:03:38,968 --> 00:03:42,067
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
73
00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:51,300
You know what?
I like it.
74
00:03:51,300 --> 00:03:53,100
I think it's a great idea
to treat yourself
75
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,200
to a wild, crazy, expensive
night once in a while.
76
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:56,801
It is. We deserve it.
77
00:03:56,801 --> 00:03:58,634
Oh, you're bringing her?
78
00:04:00,367 --> 00:04:01,367
Why?
79
00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,300
It was my idea.
80
00:04:03,300 --> 00:04:05,601
We're having a limo take
us to dinner at Soirée,
81
00:04:05,601 --> 00:04:07,133
and then to a five-star hotel.
82
00:04:07,133 --> 00:04:10,400
Soirée? La-dee-da.
83
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:11,567
Jeff just went down there
84
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:13,167
and slipped the maître d'
some money.
85
00:04:13,167 --> 00:04:14,534
What?
86
00:04:14,534 --> 00:04:16,234
Yeah, they only say
that they're booked
87
00:04:16,234 --> 00:04:17,567
so you gotta tip them to get in.
88
00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:18,968
That's how they get you.
Mm-hm.
89
00:04:18,968 --> 00:04:21,501
All right, none of that attitude
when we go out, please.
90
00:04:21,501 --> 00:04:22,501
What attitude?
91
00:04:22,501 --> 00:04:23,868
Your attitude about money.
92
00:04:23,868 --> 00:04:25,367
You're always saying
things like:
93
00:04:25,367 --> 00:04:27,234
"That's how they get you."
94
00:04:27,234 --> 00:04:31,367
And: "Oh, don't fall
for the crème brûlée scam."
95
00:04:32,868 --> 00:04:34,434
It's burnt pudding.
96
00:04:34,434 --> 00:04:36,367
Mm.
I don't want to hear any of that
97
00:04:36,367 --> 00:04:37,701
on our night out, please.
98
00:04:37,701 --> 00:04:39,033
You sound just like my dad.
99
00:04:39,033 --> 00:04:42,767
Why? Am I begging you
not to marry me?
100
00:04:42,767 --> 00:04:45,133
I can't believe you guys
have a whole night planned
101
00:04:45,133 --> 00:04:49,634
and I, the only actual fun
person, has nothing to do.
102
00:04:49,634 --> 00:04:52,067
Why, where's the rest
of the lollipop guild?
103
00:04:53,701 --> 00:04:55,434
No, no, no.
Hey, guys.
104
00:04:55,434 --> 00:04:56,434
Hey, guys.
No.
105
00:04:56,434 --> 00:04:57,767
Hey. How was your check up?
106
00:04:57,767 --> 00:04:59,000
All good.
107
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,100
Yes, the doctor concurred
108
00:05:00,100 --> 00:05:02,601
with the results
of my breast exam.
109
00:05:02,601 --> 00:05:05,534
Congratulations on marrying
an eighth grader.
110
00:05:06,801 --> 00:05:08,567
By the way, Audrey,
on the doctor's form
111
00:05:08,567 --> 00:05:10,667
I put you down as my "in case
of emergency" person.
112
00:05:10,667 --> 00:05:11,767
Oh. No problem.
113
00:05:11,767 --> 00:05:13,667
Why would you do that?
114
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:15,167
In case there's an emergency.
115
00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:16,534
It's pretty
self-explanatory.
116
00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,200
But I'm gonna be your husband.
117
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,067
I should be your
"in case of emergency" guy.
118
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,267
Adam, I love you and there are
119
00:05:22,267 --> 00:05:23,868
so many things you are great at.
120
00:05:23,868 --> 00:05:25,734
But being responsible
with your cell phone
121
00:05:25,734 --> 00:05:27,801
is not one of those things.
Okay. You know what?
122
00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:29,868
Starting right now,
I'm gonna have my phone on me
123
00:05:29,868 --> 00:05:31,467
and turned on at all times.
124
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:32,968
In fact...
125
00:05:32,968 --> 00:05:34,234
What's this, huh?
126
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,701
Your iPod.
127
00:05:43,801 --> 00:05:45,734
Forty-two minutes
past our reservation.
128
00:05:45,734 --> 00:05:48,434
Would you relax,
we're not in a hurry.
129
00:05:48,434 --> 00:05:50,467
Well, they only say
that your table's not ready
130
00:05:50,467 --> 00:05:52,367
so you have to wait at the bar
and buy a drink.
131
00:05:52,367 --> 00:05:53,734
That's how they...
What, Jeff?
132
00:05:53,734 --> 00:05:55,300
That's how they what?
133
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:58,901
That's how they pamper you
the way you deserve.
134
00:06:01,133 --> 00:06:02,133
Thank you.
135
00:06:02,133 --> 00:06:04,767
Sir, ma'am,
your table is ready.
136
00:06:04,767 --> 00:06:05,968
Well, we're not.
137
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:08,667
It's the table's turn to wait.
138
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,834
Sir?
139
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:11,801
He's just kidding.
140
00:06:11,801 --> 00:06:13,601
I was just funning with you.
141
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:14,767
Let me take care of this tab.
142
00:06:14,767 --> 00:06:16,367
Uh, there's no charge
for the drinks.
143
00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:18,434
We apologize for the wait.
144
00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:20,601
Oh. Thank you.
Yeah, thank you.
145
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:21,767
Just out of curiosity,
146
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:23,501
how far away were we
from another round?
147
00:06:25,067 --> 00:06:27,701
Now he's not kidding.
148
00:06:38,133 --> 00:06:40,133
What are you doing here
on a Saturday night?
149
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:43,534
Oh, to be honest, I'm pouting
because I have nothing to do.
150
00:06:43,534 --> 00:06:45,701
Well, maybe it's good
to have a little alone time.
151
00:06:45,701 --> 00:06:49,567
I already had two alone times
today before I got here.
152
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:53,000
Check it out.
153
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,334
Adam's cell phone.
154
00:06:54,334 --> 00:06:55,534
He left it at the apartment,
155
00:06:55,534 --> 00:06:57,901
after all that big talk
about being responsible.
156
00:06:57,901 --> 00:06:59,300
Oh, that doesn't sound like him.
157
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,000
It's such an un-handsome
thing to do.
158
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,400
Well, I guess he'll never learn.
159
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,868
Order me a coffee.
Got you.
160
00:07:06,267 --> 00:07:08,067
Oh, hey, can I get a, uh...
161
00:07:08,067 --> 00:07:10,033
What did she want?
162
00:07:10,033 --> 00:07:11,467
Uh, just give me
a piece of pie.
163
00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,901
Oh, hey, genius.
164
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:15,901
Hey.
165
00:07:15,901 --> 00:07:18,300
Get this, I lost my cell phone.
166
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:20,100
No, actually...
I'm pretty sure
167
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,033
I left it in a taxi.
168
00:07:24,834 --> 00:07:26,167
You did?
169
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:29,033
After you promised Jen?
170
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:32,200
Wow, this is gonna be
a huge problem.
171
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:33,634
I know, I know.
172
00:07:33,634 --> 00:07:36,033
I know, she'll probably never
let me hear the end of this.
173
00:07:36,033 --> 00:07:37,234
Uh, what to do? What...?
174
00:07:37,234 --> 00:07:39,701
Okay, seriously what to do.
175
00:07:39,701 --> 00:07:41,534
Um, you know what?
I have an idea.
176
00:07:41,534 --> 00:07:43,200
Why don't you go outside
to a pay phone,
177
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:44,601
and call your cell.
178
00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:46,667
And then if the cabbie
finds it, he'll answer it.
179
00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:47,968
Yeah.
Yeah.
180
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,133
Then I get it back
before Jen knows it's gone.
181
00:07:50,133 --> 00:07:51,434
Yes.
All right.
182
00:07:51,434 --> 00:07:53,434
Oh. Wait, why can't I just
use your cell phone?
183
00:07:53,434 --> 00:07:54,868
You know what?
I left it at home.
184
00:07:54,868 --> 00:07:57,601
And it's so stupid of me.
185
00:07:57,601 --> 00:08:00,300
Hey, don't feel bad,
I do that too.
186
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:02,868
Ah, I take great
comfort in that.
187
00:08:03,968 --> 00:08:05,234
Anyway thanks for the idea.
188
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:06,367
No, thank you, man.
189
00:08:09,868 --> 00:08:13,300
Ah, ha-ha. Oh. Thank you.
190
00:08:16,567 --> 00:08:17,801
Wait, where's my coffee?
191
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,901
Oh, wait, that's right.
Uh, excuse me,
192
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:22,801
can I get a scoop
of ice cream on this?
193
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,901
As a woman I don't like
to hear this word,
194
00:08:26,901 --> 00:08:28,834
but I have to say
you're a douche.
195
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,601
You're gonna be
thanking this douche
196
00:08:31,601 --> 00:08:32,834
because Adam was just here,
197
00:08:32,834 --> 00:08:34,701
and he thinks he left
his cell phone in a cab.
198
00:08:34,701 --> 00:08:36,167
So he went to a pay phone
to call it.
199
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:38,267
But he didn't leave it
in a cab, you have it there.
200
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:39,968
Trust me.
201
00:08:39,968 --> 00:08:42,100
This sounds weird
but you're gonna like it.
202
00:08:43,167 --> 00:08:44,367
I just got a flash
203
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:46,334
of what it feels like
to be on a date with you.
204
00:08:48,267 --> 00:08:49,634
Hello?
205
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:54,367
Yes, I found this phone
in my cab.
206
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,901
No, I didn't find
a little bag of licorice.
207
00:08:58,434 --> 00:08:59,801
No, listen,
if you want a phone,
208
00:08:59,801 --> 00:09:02,567
go meet me at The Grease Pit
on West 4th and Horatio.
209
00:09:02,567 --> 00:09:03,801
My name?
210
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:07,534
Yes, it's Pie Al La Mode.
211
00:09:08,934 --> 00:09:10,968
Okay, see you there.
212
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:12,701
Pie Al La Mode?
213
00:09:12,701 --> 00:09:14,601
Didn't phase him at all.
214
00:09:14,601 --> 00:09:15,734
So what's The Grease Pit?
215
00:09:15,734 --> 00:09:17,934
It's a big old lesbian bar.
216
00:09:19,234 --> 00:09:21,367
How do you know
the address of a lesbian bar?
217
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,501
Sometimes it's just nice to be
the prettiest one in the room.
218
00:09:32,734 --> 00:09:34,601
Uh, yes, that's it.
219
00:09:34,601 --> 00:09:37,367
That is the one
my husband mispronounced.
220
00:09:39,567 --> 00:09:42,367
That men's room
is unbelievably nice.
221
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:45,901
I almost felt bad
doing my business in it.
222
00:09:45,901 --> 00:09:47,567
That's really great,
223
00:09:47,567 --> 00:09:49,667
seeing you actually enjoying
yourself tonight.
224
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,834
Well, when I was
talking to Ricky,
225
00:09:51,834 --> 00:09:55,467
my hand towel caddy, I...
I thought Audrey's right.
226
00:09:55,467 --> 00:09:57,234
We do deserve to live it up
once in a while.
227
00:09:57,234 --> 00:09:59,167
That's the spirit.
228
00:09:59,167 --> 00:10:01,467
It's not just the food
and the wine that you're buying.
229
00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,567
It's the service
and how you're treated.
230
00:10:03,567 --> 00:10:05,033
It makes me feel like...
231
00:10:05,033 --> 00:10:06,067
Like a king?
232
00:10:06,067 --> 00:10:08,834
I was gonna say
that Monopoly guy.
233
00:10:10,033 --> 00:10:12,467
He's got that monocle,
the top hat,
234
00:10:12,467 --> 00:10:15,334
the bags with the dollar
signs on them.
235
00:10:15,334 --> 00:10:17,968
That fictional bastard
knows how to live.
236
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:23,400
I'm thirstier than that.
237
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:27,567
That's a good one.
238
00:10:27,567 --> 00:10:28,868
Here you go,
239
00:10:28,868 --> 00:10:30,534
and there's more
where that came from.
240
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:33,868
Just don't ask
where it came from.
241
00:10:36,634 --> 00:10:37,567
That'll play.
242
00:10:39,868 --> 00:10:41,667
Thank you again for doing this.
243
00:10:42,801 --> 00:10:44,534
Thank you for suggesting it.
244
00:10:44,534 --> 00:10:46,334
And you really do look
very pretty tonight.
245
00:10:47,601 --> 00:10:49,901
To living the good life.
246
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,701
Hey, Jeff.
247
00:10:52,701 --> 00:10:54,133
Oh, Stewart.
248
00:10:54,133 --> 00:10:56,067
You remember Audrey?
249
00:10:56,067 --> 00:10:58,167
Oh, my God, Lac Rouge?
250
00:10:58,167 --> 00:10:59,767
Ha, I guess business
is going well.
251
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:01,467
I do all right.
252
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:03,467
Thinking about
buying a monocle.
253
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,634
Is it as complex as they say?
254
00:11:06,634 --> 00:11:09,501
You just have
to hold it in your eye.
255
00:11:09,501 --> 00:11:11,434
I meant the wine.
256
00:11:11,434 --> 00:11:14,901
Oh. Why don't you, uh,
try it for yourself?
257
00:11:14,901 --> 00:11:17,767
Excuse me, can I get a glass
for my compadre here?
258
00:11:17,767 --> 00:11:19,834
Wow, thanks.
259
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:23,334
I've never tasted a $1500
bottle of wine before.
260
00:11:23,334 --> 00:11:26,167
Hold on a minute.
What do you mean 1500 dollars?
261
00:11:26,167 --> 00:11:28,801
Oh, that's what
this bottle costs.
262
00:11:28,801 --> 00:11:30,767
My wife and I were just
looking at the wine list
263
00:11:30,767 --> 00:11:31,767
and talking about it.
264
00:11:31,767 --> 00:11:33,000
Put it down.
265
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,767
Put the glass down.
266
00:11:39,167 --> 00:11:40,767
And walk away.
267
00:11:53,334 --> 00:11:54,601
It's not a misprint.
268
00:11:54,601 --> 00:11:58,000
The wine you ordered was
$1500, not 150.
269
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,400
Let me see that.
270
00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:00,734
One-fifty.
271
00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:02,934
One-fifty.
272
00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:06,801
Oh! There it is, 1500.
273
00:12:06,801 --> 00:12:08,801
Why didn't you bring
your reading glasses?
274
00:12:08,801 --> 00:12:10,200
I didn't have time
to grab them.
275
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,667
Oh, but you had
plenty of time time
276
00:12:11,667 --> 00:12:14,234
to glue two grand
to your naked body.
277
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,367
Fifteen hundred dollars?
278
00:12:15,367 --> 00:12:16,767
All right, look, don't panic.
279
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:18,033
Let me just talk to this guy.
280
00:12:18,033 --> 00:12:19,467
Excuse me.
281
00:12:23,534 --> 00:12:26,367
This wine is not to our liking.
282
00:12:27,934 --> 00:12:30,167
But sir, when you tasted it
you assured me
283
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:33,067
that it would "play."
284
00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:37,000
Right. But after
that first taste, it turned.
285
00:12:39,501 --> 00:12:40,567
I doubt that.
286
00:12:40,567 --> 00:12:41,901
Oh, really?
287
00:12:41,901 --> 00:12:44,267
Wouldn't you agree
that in the life of every wine,
288
00:12:44,267 --> 00:12:47,167
there's a moment when it turns?
289
00:12:47,167 --> 00:12:50,100
Worst Law &Order ever.
290
00:12:50,100 --> 00:12:51,801
May I?
291
00:12:51,801 --> 00:12:52,968
Please.
292
00:12:57,901 --> 00:13:00,067
The wine is fine, sir.
293
00:13:00,067 --> 00:13:03,634
Then I would like that sip
taken off of our bill.
294
00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:16,767
Hey, excuse me.
295
00:13:16,767 --> 00:13:20,501
Uh, I'm looking for a guy
named Pie Al A Mode.
296
00:13:20,501 --> 00:13:21,801
A guy?
297
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,567
No, you're... You're
the only guy in here.
298
00:13:24,567 --> 00:13:25,868
Really?
299
00:13:27,367 --> 00:13:29,100
What about him?
300
00:13:29,100 --> 00:13:30,601
Her.
301
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,200
Are you... ? You sure?
302
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:34,601
Yes.
303
00:13:34,601 --> 00:13:36,868
So what is it? Is it...?
It's, like, ladies night?
304
00:13:36,868 --> 00:13:40,501
Yeah, every night is
like ladies night.
305
00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:41,434
Oh.
306
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:49,000
Ohh.
307
00:13:50,467 --> 00:13:52,067
Okay, this isn't
the end of the world.
308
00:13:52,067 --> 00:13:54,234
I mean, our goal was to only
spend the house's money
309
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,701
and so far,
that's all we've done.
310
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,801
Let's just get the check.
311
00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:58,400
You sure you don't want
some dessert?
312
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,200
I'd be happy to take out
a second mortgage.
313
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,000
Excuse me, the check, please.
314
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,601
Oh. Right away.
315
00:14:05,434 --> 00:14:07,400
What are you using
your calculator
316
00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,434
to figure out what
the tip is on infinity?
317
00:14:11,634 --> 00:14:13,434
No, I'm cancelling the hotel.
318
00:14:13,434 --> 00:14:14,934
It's good thinking.
Yeah.
319
00:14:14,934 --> 00:14:16,968
You would've ruined it
for me, anyway.
320
00:14:16,968 --> 00:14:19,167
What are you talking about?
Oh, come on.
321
00:14:19,167 --> 00:14:21,234
We'd have to pay
for the hotel with our money.
322
00:14:21,234 --> 00:14:23,133
You had a hard enough time
enjoying yourself
323
00:14:23,133 --> 00:14:24,501
when it was the house's money.
324
00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:26,334
Reservations, please.
325
00:14:26,334 --> 00:14:27,834
Just like my dad.
326
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,501
I am not like your dad.
Oh, please.
327
00:14:29,501 --> 00:14:31,367
I'd say you were two sides
of the same coin,
328
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:32,634
but I'm afraid you'd accuse me
329
00:14:32,634 --> 00:14:34,834
of wasting that coin
on a metaphor.
330
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,601
Yes, we need to cancel
a reservation for tonight.
331
00:14:37,601 --> 00:14:38,601
Hang up.
332
00:14:38,601 --> 00:14:40,000
What?
We're not cancelling.
333
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,267
We're going to that hotel.
334
00:14:41,267 --> 00:14:43,033
You don't have to do this
to prove a point.
335
00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:46,167
I'm not. I'm doing it
to treat myself to some luxury.
336
00:14:46,167 --> 00:14:49,000
Come along if you think
you can handle it.
337
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:51,734
Oh, I can handle it.
338
00:14:51,734 --> 00:14:52,834
We're on our way.
339
00:14:52,834 --> 00:14:54,868
I will be loving that hotel.
340
00:14:54,868 --> 00:14:56,667
Not as much as me.
341
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,701
A-ha. We'll see.
Yes, we will see.
342
00:14:58,701 --> 00:14:59,934
Mm-hm.
343
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:03,367
Uh, okay, not so bad.
344
00:15:05,701 --> 00:15:07,067
Oh.
345
00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:10,400
Well, see, he did take off that
sip.
346
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,334
Come on. Wait, wait, wait.
347
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,501
Why are we bailing Adam out?
348
00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,801
Let's screw with him some more.
349
00:15:19,801 --> 00:15:22,033
No, your plan didn't work,
he didn't call.
350
00:15:22,033 --> 00:15:25,067
No, but the dope probably lost
his dialing finger.
351
00:15:25,067 --> 00:15:26,734
Look, he's been in there
for two hours,
352
00:15:26,734 --> 00:15:28,834
he's suffered enough.
353
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:32,434
♪ Oh, oh, ohh ♪
354
00:15:32,434 --> 00:15:34,601
♪ Tainted love ♪.
355
00:15:34,601 --> 00:15:36,033
Oh, my God.
356
00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:37,534
♪ Now I know I've got to ♪.
357
00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:39,067
I've got some bad news.
358
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:42,367
Your dude's gone lesbo.
* Run away, I've got to *
359
00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:43,634
♪ Get away ♪
360
00:15:43,634 --> 00:15:44,968
♪ You don't really want it ♪.
361
00:15:44,968 --> 00:15:47,267
Hey, Russell, Jen!
362
00:15:47,267 --> 00:15:48,801
Hey, hold on,
I'll be right down.
363
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:54,100
♪ You need someone
To hold you tight ♪
364
00:15:54,100 --> 00:15:55,968
♪ And you'll think love
Is to pray ♪.
365
00:15:55,968 --> 00:15:58,367
All right, ladies,
one for four, not bad.
366
00:15:59,767 --> 00:16:01,100
What are you guys doing here?
367
00:16:01,100 --> 00:16:02,133
Uh...
368
00:16:02,133 --> 00:16:03,434
It was Russell's idea.
369
00:16:04,934 --> 00:16:08,367
Oh. Oh, so you pretended
to be Pie Al A Mode.
370
00:16:10,634 --> 00:16:12,133
Oh, I just got that.
371
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:14,968
I actually found your phone.
372
00:16:14,968 --> 00:16:16,400
So, what's the point
of all this?
373
00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:18,667
We were trying to teach you
a lesson about your phone.
374
00:16:18,667 --> 00:16:20,534
Button up your shirt,
let's get out of here.
375
00:16:20,534 --> 00:16:22,634
Now, see?
That's just a waste.
376
00:16:22,634 --> 00:16:24,167
Adam, you're not
leaving, are you?
377
00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:25,767
Because we got another
round coming.
378
00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:26,767
Yeah.
379
00:16:26,767 --> 00:16:28,434
Why do they love you so much?
380
00:16:28,434 --> 00:16:29,701
Well, because a while ago
381
00:16:29,701 --> 00:16:32,300
Melanie here started
choking on some nuts.
382
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:34,634
Ironic.
383
00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:35,701
Why is that ironic?
384
00:16:36,968 --> 00:16:39,534
Because it's not.
385
00:16:39,534 --> 00:16:42,400
Anyway, I swung into action,
dove across the bar,
386
00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:43,567
and gave her the Heimlich.
387
00:16:43,567 --> 00:16:44,868
He saved her life.
Mm-hm.
388
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:48,901
Honey, that is impressive.
Isn't it?
389
00:16:48,901 --> 00:16:51,834
There was an emergency
and I came to the rescue.
390
00:16:51,834 --> 00:16:54,133
All right, I get it.
391
00:16:54,133 --> 00:16:56,801
You will be my "in case of
emergency" person from now on.
392
00:16:56,801 --> 00:16:57,968
Thank you.
393
00:16:57,968 --> 00:17:01,067
And you may
or may not regret it.
394
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:02,467
All right, let's get out of
here.
395
00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:04,567
I feel like a sausage
in a vegetarian restaurant.
396
00:17:04,567 --> 00:17:06,601
Hey, Russell,
this place is kind of fun.
397
00:17:06,601 --> 00:17:08,200
Come on, one drink.
398
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,467
I guess we could have the one.
399
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:10,901
All right, all right.
400
00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,367
Jen?
401
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:15,300
Patty Miller, from college.
402
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,634
Remember spring break,
we shared that cabin?
403
00:17:17,634 --> 00:17:19,367
♪ Tainted love... ♪.
404
00:17:20,767 --> 00:17:22,000
Hey, there.
405
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,267
That's crazy.
How about that?
406
00:17:24,267 --> 00:17:26,334
Running into someone
you know here. That's...
407
00:17:26,334 --> 00:17:28,167
It's really good to see you.
408
00:17:28,167 --> 00:17:30,400
We gotta go.
409
00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:32,868
Hey. What did you guys
do in the cabin?
410
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:35,000
Hi. Was there a Jacuzzi?
411
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,400
Hey! Was there a Jacuzzi?
412
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,300
You wanna reenact it?
Don't leave.
413
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:39,300
Hey!
414
00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:45,901
Oh, that champagne
in the limo was tasty.
415
00:17:45,901 --> 00:17:48,200
Yeah? Glad you liked it,
because it wasn't included.
416
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,534
It's a lot extra.
417
00:17:49,534 --> 00:17:51,567
Oh, well, then it's a thing
you were in the limo
418
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:53,968
with me instead of your dad.
419
00:17:53,968 --> 00:17:55,501
May I help you?
420
00:17:55,501 --> 00:17:56,868
Reservation under Bingham.
421
00:17:58,067 --> 00:17:59,334
Ah, yes, here we are.
422
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:01,400
Should I put the balance
on the same credit card?
423
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,567
Balance? No, I thought
I already paid for the room.
424
00:18:03,567 --> 00:18:06,734
Uh, you paid a deposit of $350.
425
00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:08,934
That is half the price of the room.
Half?
426
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,467
Is that a problem for you?
427
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:13,767
No.
428
00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:16,367
I think that sounds
like a fair price for
429
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:19,601
"an economy double with
obstructed view of the street."
430
00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:21,400
Excellent.
Wait a minute.
431
00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,667
Oh, is that a problem for you?
432
00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,033
Sure is.
433
00:18:24,033 --> 00:18:25,868
I don't want an obstructed view.
434
00:18:25,868 --> 00:18:27,667
How much for a room
overlooking the Park?
435
00:18:27,667 --> 00:18:30,667
Ah! Sounds good to me.
436
00:18:30,667 --> 00:18:32,868
That is this one right here, sir.
Wow.
437
00:18:32,868 --> 00:18:34,033
Are you saying
438
00:18:34,033 --> 00:18:36,133
that we should settle
for an obstructed view,
439
00:18:36,133 --> 00:18:38,267
because we're only gonna
be here for 12 hours?
440
00:18:38,267 --> 00:18:39,801
Actually, our check-out
time is...
441
00:18:39,801 --> 00:18:42,367
Nine hours?
No.
442
00:18:42,367 --> 00:18:45,734
I was just noticing that if we
upgrade to the Club Level,
443
00:18:45,734 --> 00:18:47,434
we'll be able to enjoy
a private butler.
444
00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:50,434
Unless you think
that's too much.
445
00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:51,868
Butler us.
446
00:18:53,934 --> 00:18:55,634
And may I arrange
for some refreshments
447
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:56,901
to be sent up to your suite?
448
00:18:56,901 --> 00:18:58,734
Sure. How about
some caviar?
449
00:18:58,734 --> 00:19:00,834
Great.
And some lobster.
450
00:19:00,834 --> 00:19:02,200
And an in-room massage.
451
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:03,968
Oh, and some flowers.
And a shoe shine.
452
00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:05,968
Actually, we have
a complimentary shoe shine.
453
00:19:05,968 --> 00:19:07,234
Then I don't want it.
454
00:19:07,234 --> 00:19:08,868
Just more caviar.
455
00:19:08,868 --> 00:19:10,434
All right. Excellent.
456
00:19:10,434 --> 00:19:12,634
And Vincent will show you
to your suite.
457
00:19:12,634 --> 00:19:13,634
Great.
458
00:19:14,868 --> 00:19:16,934
I can't wait to see the view.
459
00:19:16,934 --> 00:19:19,033
I can't wait
to shovel down some caviar.
460
00:19:19,033 --> 00:19:21,133
I am loving this.
Not as much as me.
461
00:19:21,133 --> 00:19:22,133
Club level, Vincent.
462
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:24,868
No turning back now.
463
00:19:29,901 --> 00:19:31,767
Ah! I can't do this.
Oh, thank God.
464
00:19:39,701 --> 00:19:41,267
All right, tell me honestly,
465
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,267
if I hadn't stop us,
466
00:19:42,267 --> 00:19:43,901
would you have gone
through with it?
467
00:19:43,901 --> 00:19:45,300
I would have gone all the way.
468
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:46,434
Really?
469
00:19:46,434 --> 00:19:48,167
All the way to our suite,
470
00:19:48,167 --> 00:19:49,968
and then I would have
faked a heart attack.
471
00:19:52,634 --> 00:19:55,067
Oh, we have a message.
472
00:19:55,067 --> 00:19:56,901
Hey, sweetheart, it's your dad.
473
00:19:56,901 --> 00:19:59,834
Just wanted you to know we
returned that fancy computer.
474
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:01,868
We'll be sending you
the money back.
475
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:03,734
Okay, my minute's
almost up, gotta go.
476
00:20:05,367 --> 00:20:07,734
Well, he returned it.
477
00:20:07,734 --> 00:20:09,567
No surprise there.
478
00:20:09,567 --> 00:20:11,434
Well, look, your dad
is a good man.
479
00:20:11,434 --> 00:20:13,067
He and your mom sacrificed
480
00:20:13,067 --> 00:20:14,834
so that you could have
nice things,
481
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,200
go to college.
482
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,901
And meet me.
483
00:20:19,033 --> 00:20:20,601
I know.
484
00:20:20,601 --> 00:20:22,100
And the part of the reason
I love you
485
00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,667
is because you're
a little like him.
486
00:20:23,667 --> 00:20:25,667
Maybe a little bit.
487
00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:27,367
And, hey, since he returned
the laptop,
488
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:28,934
we got another check
coming our way.
489
00:20:28,934 --> 00:20:29,968
More house money.
490
00:20:29,968 --> 00:20:31,901
Yeah, maybe this time
491
00:20:31,901 --> 00:20:33,334
we should put it
somewhere safe.
492
00:20:33,334 --> 00:20:35,033
Agreed.
493
00:20:35,033 --> 00:20:36,133
I'll go get the glue stick.
34706
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