Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,100
Oh. Wow,
look at this place.
2
00:00:05,100 --> 00:00:06,801
It's like being in Paris.
3
00:00:06,801 --> 00:00:09,267
So we agree, it sucks.
4
00:00:09,267 --> 00:00:11,601
God forbid we eat anywhere
without a pie carousel.
5
00:00:11,601 --> 00:00:14,400
Look at how the tables
are all smashed together.
6
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:15,968
As an American,
it's my right to eat
7
00:00:15,968 --> 00:00:18,434
without touching knees
with some dude.
8
00:00:18,434 --> 00:00:20,334
What about your right
to remain silent?
9
00:00:20,334 --> 00:00:21,801
Why don't you
exercise that one?
10
00:00:21,801 --> 00:00:23,534
Bonsoir.
11
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:25,801
Oh. Here we go.
12
00:00:25,801 --> 00:00:28,000
Please follow me.
13
00:00:29,701 --> 00:00:32,367
Ugh.
Oh, would you stop it?
14
00:00:32,367 --> 00:00:33,868
You are so not adventurous.
15
00:00:33,868 --> 00:00:35,300
Not adventurous?
16
00:00:35,300 --> 00:00:38,767
Who's dangling their junk two
inches over an open flame, uh?
17
00:00:42,701 --> 00:00:45,334
Oh, look at that.
18
00:00:45,334 --> 00:00:46,901
Steve?
19
00:00:46,901 --> 00:00:48,267
Hey.
Jeff, Audrey!
20
00:00:48,267 --> 00:00:49,367
Oh, hey!
21
00:00:49,367 --> 00:00:51,033
Hey, haven't seen you
since you moved
22
00:00:51,033 --> 00:00:52,734
to the midtown office.
Oh, I know.
23
00:00:52,734 --> 00:00:54,100
Hey, is Holly meeting you here?
24
00:00:54,100 --> 00:00:55,534
No, she's not.
Ah.
25
00:00:55,534 --> 00:00:58,400
Too bad. You know, you guys
are my one fix-up that worked.
26
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,801
Holly and I are
getting divorced.
27
00:01:00,801 --> 00:01:02,901
Oh, I'm so sorry.
28
00:01:02,901 --> 00:01:04,801
It's not your fault.
You had no way of knowing
29
00:01:04,801 --> 00:01:06,200
Holly was a soul sucking demon
30
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,901
who was gonna completely
destroy my life.
31
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:10,400
Well, what looks good?
32
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,367
I just...
I can't believe it.
33
00:01:12,367 --> 00:01:14,200
I thought you two
were such a good match.
34
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:15,634
No.
35
00:01:15,634 --> 00:01:18,033
But you know, it's...
It's not so bad, you know.
36
00:01:18,033 --> 00:01:20,033
Of course, I did have
to move out of the city.
37
00:01:20,033 --> 00:01:22,334
And I sold
at the exact wrong time.
38
00:01:22,334 --> 00:01:25,534
Really took it in the shorts.
39
00:01:25,534 --> 00:01:26,968
I'm in Jersey now.
40
00:01:26,968 --> 00:01:29,734
Hey, the Garden State!
41
00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:31,667
Well, enjoy your meal.
42
00:01:40,868 --> 00:01:43,434
Steve,
please join us for dinner.
43
00:01:43,434 --> 00:01:46,067
Oh. But you... You're having such
a nice meal, the two of you.
44
00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:48,167
All right, then.
45
00:01:48,167 --> 00:01:50,534
Steve, please join us.
46
00:01:50,534 --> 00:01:53,200
Okay, well,
if you really don't mind.
47
00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:58,567
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you"? ♪
48
00:02:00,067 --> 00:02:04,367
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
49
00:02:04,367 --> 00:02:06,968
♪ With you by my side ♪
50
00:02:06,968 --> 00:02:09,567
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
51
00:02:09,567 --> 00:02:12,834
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
52
00:02:19,901 --> 00:02:22,000
I can't believe you.
You're really not surprised
53
00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,667
Holly and Steve
are getting divorced?
54
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:24,767
No.
Guys never are.
55
00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:26,634
Russell, are you surprised?
56
00:02:26,634 --> 00:02:28,033
I am not.
57
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:29,567
You do not even know them.
58
00:02:29,567 --> 00:02:30,801
But I know physics.
59
00:02:30,801 --> 00:02:33,000
For every action, marriage,
there is a reaction,
60
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,000
rich divorce lawyer.
61
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,334
I guess I just prefer to look
at the glass as half full.
62
00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:41,067
Well, thanks to you,
Steve's glass is half full.
63
00:02:41,067 --> 00:02:43,767
Of tears.
64
00:02:43,767 --> 00:02:45,567
What's up, Einstein?
65
00:02:45,567 --> 00:02:47,067
Oh, hey, guys.
66
00:02:47,067 --> 00:02:49,501
Oh, our coffee maker broke,
so I gotta get Jen a cup.
67
00:02:49,501 --> 00:02:51,434
Aw.
That's nice of you.
68
00:02:51,434 --> 00:02:53,200
Yeah, well, it's more
for me than her.
69
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,701
Jen gets a little cranky when
she doesn't get her caffeine.
70
00:02:55,701 --> 00:02:57,334
Did she scratch you?
Yeah.
71
00:02:57,334 --> 00:03:01,334
But in fairness, I was smiling
at her with my stupid face.
72
00:03:01,334 --> 00:03:03,834
So what are you guys
up to today?
73
00:03:03,834 --> 00:03:06,534
We're going to a party at our
friend Steve's in New Jersey.
74
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,367
He's having a hard time
with his divorce.
75
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:11,300
Yeah. Like us going to a party
at his sad singles complex
76
00:03:11,300 --> 00:03:12,868
is gonna help.
Hold on.
77
00:03:12,868 --> 00:03:17,334
"Sad singles complex" or
"hotbed for desperate chicks"?
78
00:03:17,334 --> 00:03:19,501
Tell me more.
No.
79
00:03:19,501 --> 00:03:22,133
We're going to his party,
it's the right thing to do.
80
00:03:22,133 --> 00:03:24,033
Now, I have a hair appointment.
81
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:26,567
Look, I am the man of the house
and I, and only I,
82
00:03:26,567 --> 00:03:28,701
will dictate what we do...
She's gone.
83
00:03:28,701 --> 00:03:31,167
I know.
I like to pretend.
84
00:03:31,167 --> 00:03:32,901
All right. I gotta
get Jen that cup of...
85
00:03:32,901 --> 00:03:35,234
Seriously, you're sitting
there talking?
86
00:03:35,234 --> 00:03:37,901
Where is my coffee?
87
00:03:37,901 --> 00:03:40,868
Do you think if you don't move,
she can't see you?
88
00:03:42,434 --> 00:03:44,901
It works with dinosaurs.
89
00:03:50,601 --> 00:03:52,968
You know, when you told me
this was a singles party
90
00:03:52,968 --> 00:03:54,834
I didn't know it meant
the number of people
91
00:03:54,834 --> 00:03:56,200
that'd actually be here.
92
00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:57,934
No one made you come with us.
93
00:03:57,934 --> 00:04:01,734
Yeah. What's that like,
being here voluntarily?
94
00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:05,167
Hey, guys. Hey!
95
00:04:05,167 --> 00:04:07,634
Throw your laundry in, and
spend a cycle partying with us.
96
00:04:09,300 --> 00:04:11,501
Oh, this'll be like
shooting fish in a barrel.
97
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:13,200
Lonely women
and the only competition
98
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,901
is pale, doughy losers.
99
00:04:14,901 --> 00:04:17,234
None taken.
100
00:04:18,367 --> 00:04:21,567
Hey. Okeydoke. Hi.
101
00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:23,234
Who's that?
102
00:04:23,234 --> 00:04:25,501
I don't know, but she dresses
kind of like a whore.
103
00:04:25,501 --> 00:04:28,434
Sold.
104
00:04:34,167 --> 00:04:36,100
May I buy my lady
some detergent?
105
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:38,100
It's a free country.
106
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:39,334
Let me guess, you go liquid,
107
00:04:39,334 --> 00:04:41,167
straight up with
a twist of softener.
108
00:04:41,167 --> 00:04:42,501
How did you know?
109
00:04:42,501 --> 00:04:44,334
Please, you look like a woman
110
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:47,534
who likes her whites bright and
her colors springtime fresh.
111
00:04:48,868 --> 00:04:51,334
I also know my way around
a stain stick.
112
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:55,100
Oh. I love a woman
who talks dirty laundry.
113
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:03,334
So... This place
is really something.
114
00:05:03,334 --> 00:05:04,734
Mm-hm.
115
00:05:04,734 --> 00:05:07,601
These aren't as good
as I remember.
116
00:05:07,601 --> 00:05:09,901
Yeah, it's pretty sweet.
117
00:05:11,300 --> 00:05:13,701
Although I do need somewhere
to stay the next few nights.
118
00:05:13,701 --> 00:05:14,968
Why?
119
00:05:14,968 --> 00:05:17,033
Oh, my fish tank exploded
and they're checking
120
00:05:17,033 --> 00:05:19,167
my apartment for mold,
you know.
121
00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:20,467
Oh, no, did your fish die?
122
00:05:20,467 --> 00:05:22,601
They did. Yeah.
123
00:05:22,601 --> 00:05:24,400
Well, they're
in a better place now.
124
00:05:24,400 --> 00:05:26,968
Yeah.
Literally.
125
00:05:26,968 --> 00:05:31,133
I really need a place to stay
the next few nights.
126
00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:32,701
Well, we...
I mean, I'd go to a hotel,
127
00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:33,801
but I don't have any money.
128
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,834
And you know,
with the divorce and all.
129
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,501
You know.
130
00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:40,667
The, uh, cheese to a cracker
ratio is way off.
131
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:42,234
Oh.
132
00:05:42,234 --> 00:05:43,734
Steve, come stay with us.
133
00:05:43,734 --> 00:05:45,300
Oh!
You're more than welcome.
134
00:05:45,300 --> 00:05:48,968
Oh, that would be
perfect, thank you.
135
00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:51,334
Wow, I-I'll be there
tomorrow night, okay?
136
00:05:51,334 --> 00:05:52,667
Let me just go grab some things
137
00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:55,400
before the Hazmat team
seals off my apartment.
138
00:05:57,701 --> 00:06:00,100
Wow.
139
00:06:00,100 --> 00:06:02,667
You really want to bring some
of this magic into our home?
140
00:06:02,667 --> 00:06:04,300
I feel bad.
141
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:05,934
If I hadn't set up
Steve with Holly
142
00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:08,534
he would not be living here
in Hitler's bunker.
143
00:06:10,033 --> 00:06:12,367
Sure, Tina,
I'd love to see your unit.
144
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:15,300
And then I'll return the favor.
145
00:06:20,300 --> 00:06:23,367
Hi.
Oh, hey. Where you been?
146
00:06:23,367 --> 00:06:24,400
I got waylaid in Jersey.
147
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,400
And that's two words:
Way laid.
148
00:06:29,501 --> 00:06:31,200
So the trip to Jersey
panned out for you?
149
00:06:31,200 --> 00:06:32,200
Oh, totally.
150
00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,901
Jersey's an untapped market.
151
00:06:33,901 --> 00:06:36,067
And the best part is,
I skedoodle,
152
00:06:36,067 --> 00:06:37,701
she's an entire state away.
153
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,734
Dirty night, clean break.
Ha-ha-ha.
154
00:06:41,067 --> 00:06:42,734
Excuse us.
155
00:06:45,300 --> 00:06:48,601
You had a rendezvous with
our sister Tina last night.
156
00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:51,167
No, I didn't.
157
00:06:51,167 --> 00:06:52,501
Are you not Russell Dunbar?
158
00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:56,968
No, he is.
159
00:06:59,934 --> 00:07:02,834
Jesus, Tina.
160
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,234
If you'll be so kind
as just to give us
161
00:07:07,234 --> 00:07:08,501
a moment of privacy, please?
162
00:07:08,501 --> 00:07:11,000
He can stay, he's cool.
See you, buddy.
163
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:16,834
It seems that after your
encounter with our sister,
164
00:07:16,834 --> 00:07:19,501
you promised to phone her
first thing this morning.
165
00:07:19,501 --> 00:07:21,400
That did not occur.
166
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:23,701
Oh, my God.
Is it morning already?
167
00:07:23,701 --> 00:07:26,300
It's just, with this daylight
savings time, it's crazy.
168
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:27,767
Who can keep up with it?
169
00:07:27,767 --> 00:07:32,901
Irregardless,
it is now 2 p.m.
170
00:07:32,901 --> 00:07:35,067
Which could lead one to believe
that maybe you have
171
00:07:35,067 --> 00:07:37,534
no intentions of making
good on your promise.
172
00:07:37,534 --> 00:07:40,234
Which would make
our sister very unhappy.
173
00:07:40,234 --> 00:07:42,434
And we are very
protective of our sister.
174
00:07:42,434 --> 00:07:45,767
Yes. Tina is...
She's a great girl.
175
00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:47,267
She's really...
176
00:07:47,267 --> 00:07:48,601
How can I make this right?
177
00:07:49,934 --> 00:07:52,400
We're having a family gathering
at this address tonight.
178
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:55,033
You are invited to come
and apologize to Tina
179
00:07:55,033 --> 00:07:57,934
for your earlier
transgressions.
180
00:07:57,934 --> 00:08:00,467
That does sound
like a dynamite plan,
181
00:08:00,467 --> 00:08:03,334
and lots of fun, uh, it's tricky
though, because I got a thing...
182
00:08:03,334 --> 00:08:05,601
Look, look, Tina likes you.
183
00:08:05,601 --> 00:08:10,167
She likes you for reasons
that are not abundantly clear.
184
00:08:10,167 --> 00:08:13,734
And she will be treated with
respect as this goes forward.
185
00:08:15,067 --> 00:08:17,334
And it will go forward.
186
00:08:17,334 --> 00:08:19,434
Yeah, doy, that's...
that's what it's doing.
187
00:08:19,434 --> 00:08:21,300
Yeah.
188
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,334
Nice to meet you.
189
00:08:26,467 --> 00:08:28,167
You sure you're not Russell?
190
00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:29,434
Sorry.
191
00:08:29,434 --> 00:08:32,167
Us too.
192
00:08:38,267 --> 00:08:41,434
Guys, thanks so much
for taking me in.
193
00:08:41,434 --> 00:08:42,701
Oh. It's the least
we can do.
194
00:08:42,701 --> 00:08:43,868
And that dinner, Audrey.
195
00:08:43,868 --> 00:08:46,334
I do not eat that well
at my place.
196
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:48,100
Although they are doing
some great stuff
197
00:08:48,100 --> 00:08:49,367
with Ramen these days.
198
00:08:49,367 --> 00:08:51,534
I'd love to hear more
about that.
199
00:08:51,534 --> 00:08:53,434
Oh! Well,
those flavor packets are...
200
00:08:53,434 --> 00:08:55,200
Tomorrow.
Okay, great.
201
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:57,067
I-I'm beat.
202
00:08:57,067 --> 00:08:59,701
I'm gonna, uh,
I'm gonna hit the hay.
203
00:08:59,701 --> 00:09:02,200
You know what? I really
appreciate this, man.
204
00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,634
Oh. We're good, bro.
Oh! Okay.
205
00:09:06,400 --> 00:09:09,534
You see that? He's in
better spirits already.
206
00:09:09,534 --> 00:09:10,968
Oh. Why wouldn't he be?
207
00:09:10,968 --> 00:09:13,501
He's not sleeping in a moldy
apartment with dead fish.
208
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:17,567
Steve is
the perfect house guest.
209
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:18,901
Are you kidding me?
210
00:09:18,901 --> 00:09:21,167
He took the crusty part
of the scalloped potatoes.
211
00:09:21,167 --> 00:09:24,801
The whole underneath part
is garbage.
212
00:09:24,801 --> 00:09:26,868
It didn't stop you
from eating the rest of it.
213
00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:28,968
I didn't want
to hurt your feelings.
214
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:31,667
Steve, everything okay?
215
00:09:31,667 --> 00:09:32,834
Oh, yeah.
I'm fine.
216
00:09:32,834 --> 00:09:34,934
I'm just gonna sleep out
here on the couch.
217
00:09:34,934 --> 00:09:36,567
But you have your own room...
218
00:09:36,567 --> 00:09:38,367
Yeah, just being
in that big bed
219
00:09:38,367 --> 00:09:40,234
just reminds me
of how alone I am, you know.
220
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:41,901
Plus, towards the end
of our marriage,
221
00:09:41,901 --> 00:09:44,400
I got kind of used of being
the mayor of Sofa City.
222
00:09:45,968 --> 00:09:47,801
But Jeff and I
are gonna watch TV,
223
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:49,234
w-we don't want
to keep you up.
224
00:09:49,234 --> 00:09:50,400
Oh, you won't. You won't.
225
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:51,834
Ooh!
226
00:10:04,467 --> 00:10:07,501
I'll bet those fish
killed themselves.
227
00:10:17,300 --> 00:10:19,968
Why are you so mad?
I did what you said.
228
00:10:19,968 --> 00:10:21,634
No, I sent you out
for a coffee maker
229
00:10:21,634 --> 00:10:23,868
and you come back
with a stupid French Press.
230
00:10:23,868 --> 00:10:25,968
It's too much work.
It's not.
231
00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:29,567
You just put your hand on top
and push down.
232
00:10:29,567 --> 00:10:33,267
Least you get to be on the other
side of that move for a change.
233
00:10:33,267 --> 00:10:34,434
Oh.
234
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,767
Whoa.
235
00:10:35,767 --> 00:10:37,033
Good, thank God you're okay.
236
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:39,033
Thought those guys
were gonna break your legs.
237
00:10:39,033 --> 00:10:40,434
Oh, really?
So running down here
238
00:10:40,434 --> 00:10:44,267
for a bear claw and cocoa
was the right response.
239
00:10:44,267 --> 00:10:45,667
I heard about
the goombah twins.
240
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:48,901
I guess your, uh,
Jersey plan backfired.
241
00:10:48,901 --> 00:10:50,300
Uh. No, it did not.
242
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,234
Although I was
a little bit scared.
243
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,868
Not so scared
I ran down to the diner
244
00:10:53,868 --> 00:10:55,334
and had
a continental breakfast.
245
00:10:55,334 --> 00:10:56,567
All right.
But...
246
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,934
I actually had a good time.
247
00:10:58,934 --> 00:11:02,267
Met the family, they loved me.
248
00:11:02,267 --> 00:11:04,734
They even gave me a nickname.
249
00:11:04,734 --> 00:11:06,834
Oh, let me guess,
"Baby Hands."
250
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:09,133
No.
No, wait, "Seventies Hair."
251
00:11:09,133 --> 00:11:10,400
No.
Oh! Wait.
252
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,400
Wait, d-did someone
already say "Baby Hands"?
253
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,267
My cell phone rang twice
during dinner,
254
00:11:16,267 --> 00:11:19,968
so they call me
"Russell Two Calls."
255
00:11:19,968 --> 00:11:22,400
So what are you...?
Are you all mobbed up now?
256
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:23,501
Mobbed up.
257
00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:26,467
See? That is such
an offensive stereotype.
258
00:11:26,467 --> 00:11:28,033
Can I get you something?
259
00:11:28,033 --> 00:11:30,167
Yeah. Can I get some
nice roasted peppers
260
00:11:30,167 --> 00:11:32,701
and a little gob of goo?
261
00:11:32,701 --> 00:11:34,834
I have no idea what that is.
262
00:11:34,834 --> 00:11:36,667
I know, me neither.
263
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:39,267
Just a grilled cheese
and a pickle.
264
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:50,334
That is a good one.
I'm so glad you called.
265
00:11:50,334 --> 00:11:51,968
You made my afternoon.
266
00:11:51,968 --> 00:11:53,100
Oh, she's here.
267
00:11:53,100 --> 00:11:54,567
Yeah, I should probably go.
268
00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:57,234
Okay. It's for you.
269
00:11:57,234 --> 00:12:00,067
Hello?
270
00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:02,133
Uh, no.
271
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:05,601
I-I'm happy
with my long distance service.
272
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,367
Okay, goodbye.
273
00:12:07,367 --> 00:12:08,968
Oh! Bye, Sean!
274
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,334
So you're home from work early.
275
00:12:12,334 --> 00:12:13,834
All jammied up.
276
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,934
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't...
I didn't go to work.
277
00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:18,267
I took a personal day.
I was kind of, you know,
278
00:12:18,267 --> 00:12:20,367
mourning the loss
of Mr. Bubbles and Goldie.
279
00:12:20,367 --> 00:12:22,501
Oh. Your fish?
280
00:12:22,501 --> 00:12:24,334
Please?
281
00:12:24,334 --> 00:12:25,868
You know, it's funny.
282
00:12:25,868 --> 00:12:27,334
One minute
you're at the carnival
283
00:12:27,334 --> 00:12:28,968
throwing darts at balloons,
284
00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:32,033
and the next you're bringing
home a baggie full of friends.
285
00:12:32,033 --> 00:12:34,467
And then they're dead.
286
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:36,100
Hey, you want to play
some gin rummy?
287
00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:37,400
Wow, I'd love to,
288
00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,334
but, um, Jeff's going
to be home any minute.
289
00:12:39,334 --> 00:12:41,434
So I should... I should
really get dinner started.
290
00:12:41,434 --> 00:12:43,334
Okay.
291
00:12:43,334 --> 00:12:45,167
Oh, hey.
Is that Sean?
292
00:12:45,167 --> 00:12:46,734
No.
293
00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:50,634
Come home.
294
00:12:50,634 --> 00:12:52,467
What's going on there?
295
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:55,767
Steve's had a bad day. Just...
Just tell me you're close.
296
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,501
Oh. I feel terrible,
but I'm stuck at work.
297
00:12:58,501 --> 00:13:01,834
Oh, God, babe. Just get here
as fast as you can, okay?
298
00:13:01,834 --> 00:13:03,400
Will do.
299
00:13:10,601 --> 00:13:13,868
Oh, God!
300
00:13:13,868 --> 00:13:16,467
You're hiding
in the kitchen, huh?
301
00:13:16,467 --> 00:13:17,968
I don't blame you.
302
00:13:17,968 --> 00:13:19,534
I'd avoid me too, if I could.
303
00:13:23,667 --> 00:13:26,634
No. I was not
avoiding you.
304
00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,434
Steve, you're a great guy.
305
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:31,434
Thanks.
306
00:13:31,434 --> 00:13:33,968
How so?
307
00:13:33,968 --> 00:13:36,634
Well, you...
308
00:13:36,634 --> 00:13:39,234
have your health and...
309
00:13:39,234 --> 00:13:41,734
you gave us that great
shortcut to your place.
310
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:44,400
But even with all that,
311
00:13:44,400 --> 00:13:46,834
I couldn't make
my marriage work.
312
00:13:46,834 --> 00:13:48,667
Well, that wasn't your fault.
313
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:52,033
I'm so sorry I ever even
introduced you to Holly.
314
00:13:52,033 --> 00:13:54,868
You are way,
way out of her league.
315
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:58,467
Thanks, Audrey.
316
00:13:58,467 --> 00:14:00,267
You really know how
to make me feel good.
317
00:14:00,267 --> 00:14:02,000
Oh, I'm so glad.
318
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:05,167
No, truly, you... You're one of
the nicest people that I know.
319
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:08,701
Oh, I'm just being who I am.
320
00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:12,667
Come here. Uh.
321
00:14:12,667 --> 00:14:13,934
Oh...
322
00:14:29,200 --> 00:14:30,934
Hey, are you busy?
323
00:14:30,934 --> 00:14:33,567
No, I'm just having
my morning coffee. Join me.
324
00:14:33,567 --> 00:14:36,534
Would you like your dish rag
with cream or sugar?
325
00:14:36,534 --> 00:14:38,701
Something weird
happened last night.
326
00:14:38,701 --> 00:14:41,100
You know Jeff's friend Steve
who's been staying with us?
327
00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:43,200
The sad pajama guy?
328
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,501
Well, Jeff was working late,
Steve was feeling down,
329
00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:46,801
so I gave him
a little pep talk.
330
00:14:46,801 --> 00:14:49,000
Next thing I know,
he's making a pass at me.
331
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,567
Oh! Really?
Well, what do I do?
332
00:14:50,567 --> 00:14:51,834
I mean, I can't tell Jeff.
333
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:54,601
I'm the one who insisted
Steve stay with us.
334
00:14:54,601 --> 00:14:55,968
I can't believe this.
335
00:14:55,968 --> 00:14:57,234
Oh, I can.
336
00:14:57,234 --> 00:15:00,067
He's sad, Jeff's gone,
you're hot.
337
00:15:00,067 --> 00:15:02,767
Well, that's true.
338
00:15:04,734 --> 00:15:07,234
And I was wearing
my skinny skirt.
339
00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:10,267
Oh, and my best boob sweater.
340
00:15:10,267 --> 00:15:12,133
Oh, God!
Those two together?
341
00:15:12,133 --> 00:15:15,634
I must have been torturing
the poor guy.
342
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:18,000
It must have been
so uncomfortable for you.
343
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,400
What exactly did he do?
344
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,133
Well, I just went to give him
a little hug
345
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,634
and he kind
of turned his head...
346
00:15:22,634 --> 00:15:23,934
It's kind of hard to describe.
347
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,601
Oh, here. Show me.
348
00:15:25,601 --> 00:15:26,868
I'm you, you're Steve.
349
00:15:26,868 --> 00:15:28,701
All right.
350
00:15:31,434 --> 00:15:34,634
Ha-ha-ha. I knew it.
351
00:15:34,634 --> 00:15:37,767
You owe me five bucks.
Oh, damn it.
352
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:40,801
Calm down,
Audrey was just showing me
353
00:15:40,801 --> 00:15:42,267
how Steve made a pass at her.
354
00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:43,501
Oh. The pajama guy?
355
00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,400
He's awesome.
356
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:48,501
You should really tell Jeff.
357
00:15:48,501 --> 00:15:52,534
Or I make
the whole thing go away.
358
00:15:52,534 --> 00:15:53,701
All right?
359
00:15:53,701 --> 00:15:54,701
I know people.
360
00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,133
All right. Take it easy,
Two Calls.
361
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:07,701
Hey, where were you?
362
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:08,934
Talking to Steve.
363
00:16:08,934 --> 00:16:13,200
I gotta admit, he seems
like a new man today.
364
00:16:13,200 --> 00:16:16,934
As much as it pains me
to say you were right.
365
00:16:18,300 --> 00:16:20,968
Hey, maybe I just won't say it.
366
00:16:20,968 --> 00:16:23,868
Okay, I don't know exactly
how to tell you this,
367
00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:27,834
and I don't want you
to overreact or freak out,
368
00:16:27,834 --> 00:16:29,667
but last night...
369
00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:31,067
Steve made a pass at me.
370
00:16:31,067 --> 00:16:33,801
Oh.
Okay, calm down.
371
00:16:33,801 --> 00:16:36,267
I may have brought this
on myself.
372
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:38,634
I mean, we were in the living
room, I was consoling him,
373
00:16:38,634 --> 00:16:41,167
I went to give him a little hug,
and then he...
374
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:43,000
kind of did this thing
with his head...
375
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,968
He buried his face
in your neck.
376
00:16:44,968 --> 00:16:46,167
Yes.
How did you know?
377
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:47,534
Yeah, he does that to everyone.
378
00:16:47,534 --> 00:16:50,167
At work we used
to call him "The Nuzzler."
379
00:16:51,267 --> 00:16:53,767
Yeah, well, maybe,
but this was different.
380
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:58,267
I mean, I was rocking my skinny
skirt and my best boob sweater.
381
00:16:58,267 --> 00:16:59,934
He's been doing it for years.
382
00:16:59,934 --> 00:17:02,334
You know the sweater
I mean, right?
383
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:07,033
I mean, I looked
like a freaking Barbie doll.
384
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:09,801
It had nothing to do
with the sweater.
385
00:17:09,801 --> 00:17:11,367
He nuzzles everyone.
386
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:13,501
So it wasn't...
No.
387
00:17:13,501 --> 00:17:16,701
Or the...
No.
388
00:17:16,701 --> 00:17:18,334
No.
389
00:17:23,634 --> 00:17:25,534
It's open, come in!
390
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:27,934
How long have you
lived in New York?
391
00:17:29,534 --> 00:17:31,968
Guys, in the kitchen.
392
00:17:31,968 --> 00:17:33,901
I'm on my way to evening Mass
with the family,
393
00:17:33,901 --> 00:17:35,701
and I understand
you need a coffee machine.
394
00:17:37,601 --> 00:17:38,901
How do you know that?
395
00:17:38,901 --> 00:17:42,200
Around the neighborhood,
I hear things.
396
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,968
Oh, my God. It's amazing!
Where'd you get it?
397
00:17:44,968 --> 00:17:47,801
A friend of mine
came into a truckload.
398
00:17:47,801 --> 00:17:50,801
Sal the Ant.
Good guy, big earner.
399
00:17:52,667 --> 00:17:55,167
You've done good.
You've done good.
400
00:17:56,534 --> 00:17:58,801
Hey, wait. Why's the serial
number scratched off?
401
00:17:58,801 --> 00:18:01,133
Don't ask so many questions.
402
00:18:01,133 --> 00:18:04,334
But you need the serial number
for the warranty.
403
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,968
Ha-ha.
404
00:18:05,968 --> 00:18:07,767
You break it,
I get you another one.
405
00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:09,434
There's your warranty, huh?
406
00:18:09,434 --> 00:18:11,501
Ow!
407
00:18:11,501 --> 00:18:13,100
This guy.
408
00:18:16,334 --> 00:18:18,901
I am so sorry
for the misunderstanding.
409
00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:21,067
I would never
make a pass at you.
410
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:22,834
Yeah. Thanks.
411
00:18:22,834 --> 00:18:26,267
I mean, you are so not my type.
412
00:18:26,267 --> 00:18:28,834
I could name like a hundred
women that I'd so much...
413
00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:31,267
Yeah, I got it.
Okay.
414
00:18:31,267 --> 00:18:32,601
I'll get the elevator.
415
00:18:32,601 --> 00:18:33,934
Good.
416
00:18:36,868 --> 00:18:40,400
Rocking her skinny skirt.
417
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,968
Okay, Steve,
I guess this is goodbye.
418
00:18:42,968 --> 00:18:44,701
Oh, okay.
Gosh, I just...
419
00:18:44,701 --> 00:18:46,300
I don't know
how to thank you, Audrey.
420
00:18:46,300 --> 00:18:49,467
You shown me compassion,
kindness, friendship.
421
00:18:49,467 --> 00:18:51,501
And the fact that you thought
I made a pass at you
422
00:18:51,501 --> 00:18:53,467
and you still didn't
blow me off...
423
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,868
that gives me hope that
there's another woman out there
424
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,734
who's gonna, you know,
take me seriously.
425
00:18:57,734 --> 00:18:59,434
Oh, Steve.
426
00:18:59,434 --> 00:19:01,968
Of course there's another woman
out there for you.
427
00:19:01,968 --> 00:19:03,567
Thanks.
428
00:19:03,567 --> 00:19:06,467
Of course not like you,
you're not my type.
429
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,167
Elevator's here!
430
00:19:09,167 --> 00:19:10,734
Oh. Okay.
431
00:19:10,734 --> 00:19:15,000
All right. No nuzzle
this time, okay?
432
00:19:16,567 --> 00:19:17,734
All right. Hey!
433
00:19:17,734 --> 00:19:19,267
Hey, we're good, bro.
That's cool.
434
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:21,067
Okay. All right.
Don't be a stranger.
435
00:19:21,067 --> 00:19:22,901
Take care, buddy.
436
00:19:22,901 --> 00:19:24,133
Hmm.
437
00:19:24,133 --> 00:19:27,067
By any chance did they
also call Steve.
438
00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:28,400
"The Boob Grazer?"
439
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,133
No. Why?
440
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:31,968
Just curious.
441
00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:45,834
Hey, paisan!
It's good to see you.
442
00:19:45,834 --> 00:19:50,133
Oh, how's your mother?
You give her my regards, okay?
443
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:53,968
Oh, this two,
always with this two.
444
00:19:53,968 --> 00:19:56,934
Ah. Good people.
Good.
445
00:19:58,367 --> 00:19:59,834
Can I get you
something to drink?
446
00:19:59,834 --> 00:20:02,501
Yeah. Chianti for me
and the little lady.
447
00:20:02,501 --> 00:20:04,267
We don't have that.
448
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:06,167
Oh!
449
00:20:07,534 --> 00:20:09,167
Coffee, thanks.
450
00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:13,868
Okay, enough, huh?
Stop acting like that.
451
00:20:13,868 --> 00:20:17,267
Acting like what? She's busting
my balls over here.
452
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,334
Like that!
453
00:20:20,334 --> 00:20:21,400
Look, I went out with you
454
00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,000
because I thought
you were different
455
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,901
from all the other goons
I've dated.
456
00:20:24,901 --> 00:20:28,067
The mouth on this one.
457
00:20:28,067 --> 00:20:30,400
Russell, if I wanted
a guy like this,
458
00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:32,400
I'd go for the real thing,
okay?
459
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:35,000
Not some pathetic
tracksuit wannabe.
460
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,367
Hey, show some respect.
461
00:20:36,367 --> 00:20:38,400
The name is "Two Calls."
462
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:40,200
Should've been
"Dropped Call."
463
00:20:42,267 --> 00:20:44,701
I'll see ya, loser.
464
00:20:44,701 --> 00:20:46,968
Oh!
465
00:20:49,834 --> 00:20:51,767
Oh.
466
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,501
Grilled cheese and a pickle.
33118
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof