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1
00:00:03,467 --> 00:00:06,400
Hey, Dopey, Grumpy.
2
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,133
Sleazy.
3
00:00:08,133 --> 00:00:10,334
Sleazy wasn't a dwarf.
4
00:00:10,334 --> 00:00:12,300
He is now.
5
00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:16,100
Well, my height was just fine
for Miss Tiffany last night.
6
00:00:16,100 --> 00:00:17,501
And it's official.
7
00:00:17,501 --> 00:00:19,601
I've finally slept with
a woman from all 50 states.
8
00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:24,133
Oh, wow. Really?
Was she, like, an Army brat?
9
00:00:26,167 --> 00:00:28,968
No. Different women,
one from...
10
00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:31,167
You know,
he just slows us down.
11
00:00:31,167 --> 00:00:33,133
Well, 50 states, huh?
12
00:00:33,133 --> 00:00:36,133
I guess America really
is the home of the brave.
13
00:00:36,133 --> 00:00:38,300
You're just jealous
because you're married
14
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:39,801
and don't get any.
15
00:00:39,801 --> 00:00:41,434
I get all the sex I want.
16
00:00:41,434 --> 00:00:43,634
Why do you want so little?
17
00:00:43,634 --> 00:00:45,634
Yeah, and you have
to jump through hoops
18
00:00:45,634 --> 00:00:47,534
for the paltry amount
you do get.
19
00:00:47,534 --> 00:00:50,567
Like letting Audrey buy
expensive jewels or clothing,
20
00:00:50,567 --> 00:00:52,634
or listen to her flap
about her boring job.
21
00:00:53,734 --> 00:00:55,000
You should be on my side.
22
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,467
You're more married
than single.
23
00:00:56,467 --> 00:00:58,467
Yeah, but Jen and I
have sex all the time.
24
00:00:58,467 --> 00:01:00,234
All the time?
All the time.
25
00:01:00,234 --> 00:01:01,400
Same as when you first met?
26
00:01:04,601 --> 00:01:05,634
Pretty... Pretty much.
27
00:01:05,634 --> 00:01:07,367
Ah.
"Pretty much."
28
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,000
That's how it all starts.
29
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,400
Yeah, add 10 pounds
to your head
30
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:12,000
and you're gonna be Jeff
in five years.
31
00:01:13,567 --> 00:01:15,067
No, you are way off.
32
00:01:15,067 --> 00:01:16,968
Mm, 20 pounds?
33
00:01:18,434 --> 00:01:21,868
Hey, Timmy.
Hey, gentlemen. Mr. Dunbar.
34
00:01:21,868 --> 00:01:23,834
Here you go, sir.
As per your request,
35
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,834
I transferred your
old pornography to DVD.
36
00:01:25,834 --> 00:01:27,934
All right. Good job.
37
00:01:27,934 --> 00:01:29,968
You know what?
Take one home as a bonus.
38
00:01:29,968 --> 00:01:31,901
Oh, thank you. You're
very kind, but I'll pass.
39
00:01:33,968 --> 00:01:36,901
Well, I'm sure you're wondering
how my date went last night.
40
00:01:36,901 --> 00:01:39,567
Yes, indeed. Who did the lady
think she was going home with?
41
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,601
Zack Thunder or Danny Dakota?
42
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:44,434
I went with Danny Dakota.
43
00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:46,100
You know, the race car driver
44
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,634
who broke every bone
in his body.
45
00:01:47,634 --> 00:01:50,167
Except one.
46
00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:52,734
Wait, hold on. You pretended
to be somebody else?
47
00:01:52,734 --> 00:01:54,367
Talk about jumping
through hoops.
48
00:01:54,367 --> 00:01:56,734
You gotta invent a whole
new persona to get some.
49
00:01:56,734 --> 00:01:58,033
No, no, no, I don't have to.
50
00:01:58,033 --> 00:02:00,267
I like to mix it up.
You know, keep it fresh.
51
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:01,734
At least I got some.
52
00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:03,601
Yeah, well, I can get it too.
53
00:02:03,601 --> 00:02:05,167
Care to make this
more interesting?
54
00:02:05,167 --> 00:02:08,334
Oh, you mean this could
get more interesting?
55
00:02:08,334 --> 00:02:11,901
My God, what an exciting
time to be alive.
56
00:02:11,901 --> 00:02:13,467
All right.
57
00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:14,834
I propose a challenge.
58
00:02:14,834 --> 00:02:16,567
Single guy versus married guy.
59
00:02:16,567 --> 00:02:18,200
Who can get it
whenever they want it.
60
00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:19,801
Fine, let's say tonight.
61
00:02:19,801 --> 00:02:21,100
Let's say tonight.
62
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,434
There's gotta be some rules.
63
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,033
You're not allowed
to lie or pay for it.
64
00:02:27,834 --> 00:02:31,601
Dude, you're tying
my hands a little bit.
65
00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:33,567
And no tying their hands.
66
00:02:33,567 --> 00:02:37,234
Well, I like when I...
All right, fine.
67
00:02:37,234 --> 00:02:38,934
Oh, what about me?
I want in.
68
00:02:38,934 --> 00:02:41,000
Why?
To prove I am not becoming you.
69
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,334
All right, fine, you can play.
70
00:02:42,334 --> 00:02:44,334
All right.
I'm the ringer.
71
00:02:44,334 --> 00:02:45,734
Yes, we get it.
72
00:02:45,734 --> 00:02:47,868
Your fiancée's a little easy
with the:
73
00:02:50,467 --> 00:02:54,167
Those were sex noises, in case
you forgot what they sound like.
74
00:02:57,434 --> 00:03:00,267
My Lord, that is funny.
75
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,601
Okay, Timmy, stick
with Russell tonight,
76
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:05,300
make sure he doesn't lie
to get sex.
77
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,534
Grand.
78
00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,367
You can just say okay.
No.
79
00:03:08,367 --> 00:03:11,534
You'll pay me a grand.
80
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:14,467
Fine, but you can't tell Audrey
81
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:16,200
about the challenge
to get some.
82
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,267
Yeah, because if I told her
there was a sex bet,
83
00:03:18,267 --> 00:03:19,968
she'd be on her back
in a heartbeat.
84
00:03:19,968 --> 00:03:21,868
All right, let's meet
back here at midnight.
85
00:03:21,868 --> 00:03:24,267
See who got the job done.
Or shall I say
86
00:03:24,267 --> 00:03:25,801
who else got the job done.
87
00:03:25,801 --> 00:03:27,200
How much are we playing for?
88
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,868
Nothing.
Gentlemen's bet.
89
00:03:28,868 --> 00:03:32,968
Hm, never before has an
adjective been less appropriate.
90
00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:34,334
This is bigger than money.
91
00:03:34,334 --> 00:03:36,234
This is to determine,
once an for all
92
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:37,667
what man is at his peak.
93
00:03:37,667 --> 00:03:41,501
Single, engaged or dead.
94
00:03:43,901 --> 00:03:47,334
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
95
00:03:49,133 --> 00:03:53,300
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
96
00:03:53,300 --> 00:03:56,033
♪ With you by my side ♪
97
00:03:56,033 --> 00:03:58,634
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
98
00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:01,901
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
99
00:04:10,501 --> 00:04:11,767
Hey, hon.
Hey.
100
00:04:11,767 --> 00:04:13,767
I'd like some sex.
101
00:04:17,033 --> 00:04:19,200
W-Wait, you're not joking?
102
00:04:19,200 --> 00:04:22,000
No, ma'am, I am not.
103
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,968
All right, I'll tell you what.
104
00:04:23,968 --> 00:04:26,400
Let's have some dinner and
then we'll fool around after.
105
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,968
After's not good.
106
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:30,200
Now is good.
107
00:04:31,801 --> 00:04:34,133
Why?
Well, the longer we wait,
108
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,234
the more chance
I'll say or do something stupid
109
00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,100
to ruin the mood.
110
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,501
Last week, we were
sharing that bottle of wine
111
00:04:40,501 --> 00:04:43,067
but you were wearing those
pants that made you look... See?
112
00:04:43,067 --> 00:04:44,267
Right there.
113
00:04:44,267 --> 00:04:46,701
Almost did it again.
Now is the time, Audrey.
114
00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:48,467
Now is the time.
115
00:04:48,467 --> 00:04:49,701
Why not?
116
00:04:49,701 --> 00:04:51,868
Really? Awesome.
117
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:56,200
Mm, wait, there's a problem.
118
00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,033
Dinner will be ready
in 15 minutes.
119
00:04:58,033 --> 00:05:00,234
Since when is that a problem?
120
00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:05,267
Oh, look at me.
121
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:11,634
Not screwing it up,
not screwing it up...
122
00:05:11,634 --> 00:05:13,534
Aah! Oh, God!
123
00:05:13,534 --> 00:05:15,801
What? You've seen
it before.
124
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:20,434
Uh, there was a mouse!
I saw him run out the door.
125
00:05:20,434 --> 00:05:22,901
Oh, well,
then we're good to go.
126
00:05:22,901 --> 00:05:24,767
Oh, God!
127
00:05:24,767 --> 00:05:27,400
I can't be romantic
when there's a mouse in here.
128
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:28,601
Who said it had to be romantic?
129
00:05:31,367 --> 00:05:33,100
I'll take care of it.
130
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,434
Ugh.
131
00:05:34,434 --> 00:05:36,334
There you go.
132
00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:38,701
Oh, no!
133
00:05:38,701 --> 00:05:41,667
You are not smashing a poor
little mouse with a bat.
134
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:43,834
Tennis racket?
135
00:05:43,834 --> 00:05:46,000
Honey, you have to catch it
and set it free.
136
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,000
Why? So it'll come back
and grant me three wishes?
137
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,634
Forget it, Jeff.
138
00:05:50,634 --> 00:05:52,701
Not with a mouse,
not in this house.
139
00:05:52,701 --> 00:05:54,934
Would you,
could you, in the hall?
140
00:05:56,367 --> 00:05:59,267
I'm gonna take care of it
but when I come back,
141
00:05:59,267 --> 00:06:01,534
sex is on.
Fine, fine, fine.
142
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:02,767
Just... Just go.
Go, go.
143
00:06:02,767 --> 00:06:04,567
I'll get the big pot
from the kitchen.
144
00:06:04,567 --> 00:06:06,667
Oh, no. I don't want
a mouse in my good pot.
145
00:06:06,667 --> 00:06:08,467
Is there any worse
than that chili you made?
146
00:06:10,968 --> 00:06:12,367
See?
147
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,434
This is why
we should've already done it.
148
00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:20,601
Hello?
149
00:06:20,601 --> 00:06:21,934
I'm in the bedroom.
150
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,200
Yeah, you are.
151
00:06:24,200 --> 00:06:26,300
This is gonna be too easy.
152
00:06:26,300 --> 00:06:28,501
It's like having sex
with fish in a barrel.
153
00:06:30,300 --> 00:06:32,400
Yeah.
154
00:06:37,434 --> 00:06:38,901
What's going on?
155
00:06:38,901 --> 00:06:40,634
I don't feel good at all.
156
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,400
You don't?
157
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,968
Honey, because you look hot.
158
00:06:44,968 --> 00:06:46,334
I am hot.
159
00:06:46,334 --> 00:06:48,234
My temperature is 102.
160
00:06:48,234 --> 00:06:50,033
Mm.
161
00:06:50,033 --> 00:06:51,734
Oh, You feel okay to me.
162
00:06:51,734 --> 00:06:53,067
Wanna fool around?
163
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,234
No! I...
164
00:06:55,234 --> 00:06:57,234
Everything hurts.
Don't touch me.
165
00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:01,901
Don't touch you?
166
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:03,434
But...
167
00:07:03,434 --> 00:07:05,300
I'm the ringer.
168
00:07:10,968 --> 00:07:13,501
Oh, yeah.
This will be no troub.
169
00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:16,934
I'll be home watching
Masterpiece Theatre in no time.
170
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,734
Sir, if I may.
171
00:07:19,734 --> 00:07:21,367
Don't you get a wee bit tired
172
00:07:21,367 --> 00:07:22,901
of constantly trying to score?
173
00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,501
Isn't the goal to meet someone
to spend your life with?
174
00:07:26,534 --> 00:07:27,934
You've got some weird ideas
175
00:07:27,934 --> 00:07:30,467
banging around that coconut
of yours, Timmy, all right?
176
00:07:30,467 --> 00:07:33,067
Try to stay focused.
177
00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:35,534
Forgive me, sir,
I forgot I'm merely here
178
00:07:35,534 --> 00:07:37,567
to monitor your sex bet.
179
00:07:37,567 --> 00:07:41,400
"I forgot I'm
merely here to monitor your sex bet."
180
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:45,100
How are you not getting laid
with that accent, my man?
181
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:47,634
What about this one right here?
182
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,000
Uh, looks drunk,
damaged, and braless.
183
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,801
A fastball down Broadway
for you, sir.
184
00:07:51,801 --> 00:07:54,167
But remember, no lying.
185
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:59,267
No lying.
No lying.
186
00:07:59,267 --> 00:08:00,367
Hi.
187
00:08:00,367 --> 00:08:01,968
Hi. I'm Lacey.
188
00:08:01,968 --> 00:08:04,701
I'm Danny Dakota.
Ah, damn it.
189
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:15,968
Well, I got him.
Oh, thank God.
190
00:08:15,968 --> 00:08:18,100
You should've seen it.
It's pretty ugly close up.
191
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:20,133
Kinda like your friend Liz.
192
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,601
Wow, take that, Liz.
193
00:08:24,167 --> 00:08:25,934
He does not like
being cooped up.
194
00:08:25,934 --> 00:08:27,501
Oh, God, just get it out...
195
00:08:27,501 --> 00:08:28,934
Oh!
196
00:08:28,934 --> 00:08:30,267
What? What?
197
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,634
The mouse just
ran across my foot!
198
00:08:32,634 --> 00:08:34,000
I thought it was in the box.
199
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,968
Wait, why were my shoes
in the...box?
200
00:08:37,968 --> 00:08:40,167
Did you not catch him?
You were lying?
201
00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,868
Only so you
would enjoy your sex.
202
00:08:42,868 --> 00:08:44,200
Oh!
203
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:45,701
I'm not going to enjoy any sex
204
00:08:45,701 --> 00:08:47,133
in an apartment full of vermin.
205
00:08:47,133 --> 00:08:49,667
Okay, look, I promise
I will get him this time.
206
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:52,501
And then we'll have the
post-mouse-hunting love making.
207
00:08:52,501 --> 00:08:55,467
Ew! Okay,
don't say love making.
208
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:58,434
That's almost
as disgusting as the mouse.
209
00:08:58,434 --> 00:09:01,501
Okay, then it'll be
"wham, bam, thank you, ma'am."
210
00:09:07,334 --> 00:09:09,501
Okay.
211
00:09:09,501 --> 00:09:11,901
Here we go.
Oh...
212
00:09:11,901 --> 00:09:14,000
Oh, that feels nice.
Yeah?
213
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,734
Hey, maybe a little physical
activity would be good for you.
214
00:09:16,734 --> 00:09:18,033
No, I'm too achy.
215
00:09:18,033 --> 00:09:19,834
Oh, but honey,
you know what they say.
216
00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:21,667
You starve a fever,
217
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,133
have sex with a cold.
218
00:09:23,133 --> 00:09:25,067
Who says that?
219
00:09:25,067 --> 00:09:28,234
People who know.
Just relax.
220
00:09:29,767 --> 00:09:31,567
Mm, you like that?
221
00:09:31,567 --> 00:09:32,934
No, it's my head.
222
00:09:32,934 --> 00:09:35,701
It feels like a giant bucket
of snot and phlegm.
223
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,701
Hey, you know what might help?
224
00:09:37,701 --> 00:09:40,567
You not saying stuff like that.
225
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:43,200
Oh, I think I'm gonna puke.
226
00:09:44,534 --> 00:09:46,167
Well, hurry back.
227
00:09:47,267 --> 00:09:48,601
Okay, mouse.
228
00:09:48,601 --> 00:09:50,200
Prepare to be outsmarted
229
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,267
by your intellectual superior.
230
00:09:57,267 --> 00:10:00,734
Oh, yeah, gotta tie
this to the pencil.
231
00:10:02,067 --> 00:10:03,901
Ow!
232
00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:05,767
What?
233
00:10:05,767 --> 00:10:08,767
So sensitive. God!
234
00:10:08,767 --> 00:10:10,000
Really, sir?
235
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,934
What?
You said to be honest.
236
00:10:11,934 --> 00:10:15,000
So I did what you said.
It looked like it was a goiter.
237
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,834
Honest about yourself.
238
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:20,234
Ah.
Now, you can do this.
239
00:10:20,234 --> 00:10:21,567
Let's give it another go.
240
00:10:21,567 --> 00:10:23,567
All right, guvnor.
241
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,200
Oh, this is
probably dum-dum calling to brag.
242
00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:29,901
What?
Hey.
243
00:10:29,901 --> 00:10:32,300
How's it going?
It's going amazing.
244
00:10:32,300 --> 00:10:34,434
I'm seconds away
from closing the deal.
245
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,567
Hold on.
246
00:10:37,067 --> 00:10:38,400
Hear that?
247
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:41,534
That the sound of my fly
being unzipped.
248
00:10:41,534 --> 00:10:44,234
Give me a minute.
Hear that?
249
00:10:44,234 --> 00:10:46,367
That's the girl that's
unzipping my fly.
250
00:10:46,367 --> 00:10:49,067
I'm telling her
to just give me a minute.
251
00:10:49,067 --> 00:10:51,634
By any chance,
is she, like, sick?
252
00:10:51,634 --> 00:10:53,767
No, no. I haven't
slept with her yet.
253
00:10:53,767 --> 00:10:56,501
How's it going with you?
254
00:10:56,501 --> 00:10:58,567
The sex is gonna happen
any second now.
255
00:11:00,434 --> 00:11:02,300
Oh, there she is.
She's calling me.
256
00:11:02,300 --> 00:11:05,334
I guess I'll see you
in an hour and 44 minutes.
257
00:11:05,334 --> 00:11:07,567
How long?
258
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:10,767
Oh, I had no idea we had
such little time left.
259
00:11:10,767 --> 00:11:11,934
Oh, understandable, sir.
260
00:11:11,934 --> 00:11:13,000
Your watch is clear down
261
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,501
the other end of your tentacle.
262
00:11:14,501 --> 00:11:15,767
Ah, ah.
263
00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:17,467
Don't get mouthy, Timmy.
264
00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:19,067
It's time to get down
to beeswax.
265
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:23,167
Hey, there.
I like that coat.
266
00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:25,868
Thank you. It's crushed velvet.
Oh, it is?
267
00:11:25,868 --> 00:11:28,267
Well, is your name Velvet?
'Cause I have a crush.
268
00:11:30,267 --> 00:11:32,934
Ah, you've just been
charmed by Russell.
269
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:35,367
Sarah.
Sarah?
270
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:37,701
I'm in commercial real
estate. What do you do?
271
00:11:37,701 --> 00:11:39,000
I'm a flight attendant.
272
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,968
Oh, that's interesting.
Where are you based?
273
00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,767
Here in New York,
but this is the first time
274
00:11:42,767 --> 00:11:45,300
I've been home for a while.
I've been doing trips to Asia.
275
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:47,801
Oh, that's a small world.
276
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:49,067
I was, uh, stationed in Asia
277
00:11:49,067 --> 00:11:51,000
during my time
with the Peace Corps.
278
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,334
No, he wasn't.
279
00:11:52,334 --> 00:11:54,067
Goodbye, Sarah.
280
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:04,567
How come you used a Cheerio
instead of cheese?
281
00:12:04,567 --> 00:12:06,400
Interesting story.
282
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,133
I ate all the cheese.
283
00:12:09,133 --> 00:12:11,033
Oh, my God, there it is.
Oh, getin there.
284
00:12:11,033 --> 00:12:12,501
Get in there.
285
00:12:12,501 --> 00:12:13,868
It kind of does look like Liz.
286
00:12:13,868 --> 00:12:16,067
Get in there.
287
00:12:16,067 --> 00:12:18,234
Go, go.
Yes!
288
00:12:18,234 --> 00:12:20,834
Score!
I can't believe that worked!
289
00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:22,834
I'm a genius.
290
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:24,534
I'll put him in
the garbage downstairs.
291
00:12:24,534 --> 00:12:26,434
What? You can't
put him in the garbage.
292
00:12:26,434 --> 00:12:27,834
You have to let him go
in the park.
293
00:12:27,834 --> 00:12:29,567
At this time of night?
I'll get mugged.
294
00:12:29,567 --> 00:12:31,267
I'll go with you.
295
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:33,434
We can't go out into the world,
296
00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:35,834
What if I get into a fight
with someone on the elevator?
297
00:12:35,834 --> 00:12:39,234
Like that fat idiot on 9,
or that skinny jerk on 4?
298
00:12:39,234 --> 00:12:40,701
Or sex will be in jeopardy.
299
00:12:40,701 --> 00:12:44,701
Boy, you really
want me tonight.
300
00:12:44,701 --> 00:12:46,601
It's kind of a turn-on.
Yeah. Good.
301
00:12:46,601 --> 00:12:48,367
Because that thing
you just said?
302
00:12:48,367 --> 00:12:50,067
That's our foreplay.
Let's go.
303
00:12:51,534 --> 00:12:54,434
Ah. Come on. Come on.
Relax.
304
00:12:54,434 --> 00:12:56,100
There's no air holes
in this box.
305
00:12:56,100 --> 00:12:59,434
Do you want Little Liz to die?
Come on, let's hit the stairs.
306
00:12:59,434 --> 00:13:00,868
What...?
307
00:13:00,868 --> 00:13:02,200
Oh, my God.
308
00:13:08,501 --> 00:13:10,934
Is that Jennifer?
309
00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:12,667
There's no mouse in there.
310
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:13,968
Yeah, you should talk to her.
311
00:13:13,968 --> 00:13:15,734
She's getting a reputation.
312
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,434
Are you feeling any better?
313
00:13:22,434 --> 00:13:24,801
No.
Damn it!
314
00:13:24,801 --> 00:13:27,534
You're really upset
that I'm sick, aren't you?
315
00:13:27,534 --> 00:13:30,000
Yeah, it's just terrible.
Look,
316
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,133
I've got
a lot of medicine here.
317
00:13:32,133 --> 00:13:33,634
"Fast acting."
318
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,000
"Immediate relief."
319
00:13:38,267 --> 00:13:39,901
"Time release"?
320
00:13:39,901 --> 00:13:41,734
Why would I buy that?
321
00:13:41,734 --> 00:13:44,000
I can't take these all together.
Why not?
322
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,200
Honey, it'll be a race
323
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,100
to see which one makes
you feel better first.
324
00:13:47,100 --> 00:13:48,934
Let's just start with this one.
325
00:13:52,634 --> 00:13:54,601
Oh, it says only two.
Oh, honey,
326
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,434
that's just
the recommended dosage.
327
00:13:56,434 --> 00:13:58,634
These are very
loose guidelines.
328
00:13:58,634 --> 00:14:00,334
Are you trying to kill me?
329
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:02,701
It's not all about you,
okay? Just take your medicine.
330
00:14:08,701 --> 00:14:09,801
You feel better?
331
00:14:09,801 --> 00:14:11,601
I just took them.
332
00:14:11,601 --> 00:14:13,868
Oh, yeah.
333
00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:17,968
What about now?
334
00:14:17,968 --> 00:14:20,501
No.
God!
335
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:24,701
What part of "fast acting"
doesn't your body understand?
336
00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,367
Uh, who else can I hit on?
How about this girl over here?
337
00:14:31,367 --> 00:14:34,701
You already told her
you were the musician Beck.
338
00:14:34,701 --> 00:14:36,534
Oh, yeah.
God, that used to work.
339
00:14:36,534 --> 00:14:39,067
That dude needs another hit.
340
00:14:39,067 --> 00:14:41,601
Who else do I look like?
341
00:14:41,601 --> 00:14:43,167
Ellen.
342
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:49,567
You know, maybe Jeff was right.
343
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:50,834
About what, sir?
344
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:53,400
I can't pick up women
without lying to them.
345
00:14:54,634 --> 00:14:57,234
Sir, if I may.
Sure.
346
00:14:57,234 --> 00:14:58,801
Ow!
347
00:14:58,801 --> 00:15:01,400
You are Russell Dunbar.
348
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,300
You are an interesting,
successful man.
349
00:15:04,300 --> 00:15:06,534
You need not lie,
for you already possess
350
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:08,734
all the necessary qualities
to coax a drunken woman
351
00:15:08,734 --> 00:15:10,834
of questionable morals
into bed.
352
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:14,834
Really?
Are you just saying that?
353
00:15:16,300 --> 00:15:19,400
No, I'm not, sir.
No, I'm not.
354
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:20,734
Now look over there.
355
00:15:20,734 --> 00:15:22,934
She's alone, on her
third Cadillac margarita,
356
00:15:22,934 --> 00:15:24,834
and a short while ago
I noticed her crying.
357
00:15:24,834 --> 00:15:27,734
Now, you have 47 minutes
to make this happen.
358
00:15:27,734 --> 00:15:29,801
Now get out there
and just be yourself.
359
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:34,033
Not bad, Timmy.
Thanks.
360
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:36,834
Well, sir, I've come to see you
361
00:15:36,834 --> 00:15:38,901
as not merely a boss,
but also a friend.
362
00:15:38,901 --> 00:15:41,601
And friends are there
for one another. Great.
363
00:15:41,601 --> 00:15:43,434
Now I only have 46 minutes.
364
00:15:45,501 --> 00:15:47,100
Hey, I'm Russell.
365
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:48,868
I couldn't help
but notice you over here.
366
00:15:48,868 --> 00:15:50,133
I'm Deborah.
367
00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:51,133
What do you do, Deborah?
368
00:15:51,133 --> 00:15:52,868
I work with
at-risk teenagers.
369
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,300
That's a coincidence,
because, uh...
370
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:01,067
I've never helped
anybody in my whole life.
371
00:16:01,067 --> 00:16:02,067
Wow.
372
00:16:02,067 --> 00:16:03,467
That's honest.
373
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:04,701
Yeah, it is.
374
00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:06,300
Actually kind of refreshing.
375
00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:08,801
Really?
Yeah.
376
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:11,767
Well, I'm also one of the most
selfish people you'll ever meet.
377
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,067
You're so cute.
378
00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,534
Oh, thanks.
379
00:16:14,534 --> 00:16:16,300
You know, I have lifts
in my shoes
380
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:17,868
and I'm not ashamed
I look like Ellen.
381
00:16:27,634 --> 00:16:28,767
All right.
382
00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,834
Go, mouse. Be free.
Go on. Get.
383
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:36,434
Oh, I miss him already.
Pull your pants down.
384
00:16:36,434 --> 00:16:38,234
Relax.
385
00:16:38,234 --> 00:16:39,501
Let's just go home.
386
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:40,667
No, there's no time.
387
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,734
We have got to do it
right here, right now.
388
00:16:42,734 --> 00:16:44,334
Why?
Because
389
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,567
we're in the park,
and together,
390
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:49,234
and the moon and the stars.
It's so romantic.
391
00:16:49,234 --> 00:16:51,300
Come on, let's do it
in the dirt behind that tree.
392
00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:54,434
You're crazy.
393
00:16:54,434 --> 00:16:55,901
Yes, for you.
Let's go.
394
00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:02,601
Oh, yeah. Get you out of that.
395
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,467
What's going on back there?
396
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:07,567
Um...
397
00:17:09,133 --> 00:17:10,767
Just give us a minute, officer.
398
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:12,133
I don't think so.
399
00:17:12,133 --> 00:17:14,701
I literally mean one minute.
400
00:17:16,534 --> 00:17:18,834
Let me get my coat.
401
00:17:18,834 --> 00:17:20,901
My apartment is
just around the corner.
402
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,300
She's taking me home.
403
00:17:24,300 --> 00:17:25,968
I didn't have
to lie about anything.
404
00:17:25,968 --> 00:17:28,334
Mm-hm, because you're good
enough just the way you are.
405
00:17:28,334 --> 00:17:30,300
That's right.
No more lame facade.
406
00:17:30,300 --> 00:17:32,000
To the real you.
Mm-hm.
407
00:17:33,434 --> 00:17:35,567
Ow! God!
408
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:36,734
My tooth!
409
00:17:36,734 --> 00:17:38,300
Are you all right, sir?
410
00:17:38,300 --> 00:17:40,200
Oh, I don't know.
411
00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,400
How does it look?
412
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,400
I'm back.
413
00:17:42,400 --> 00:17:45,167
All right.
414
00:17:45,167 --> 00:17:46,400
Oh, my God!
415
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:47,901
Um, I... I...
416
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:49,334
I forgot, I have to go.
417
00:17:50,467 --> 00:17:53,400
No, what? What?
418
00:17:53,400 --> 00:17:54,968
Dude...
419
00:17:54,968 --> 00:17:56,868
How much time I got left?
420
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:01,934
Not enough.
421
00:18:06,534 --> 00:18:08,033
Oh. Oh.
422
00:18:09,534 --> 00:18:12,634
I must have dozed off.
423
00:18:12,634 --> 00:18:14,534
Wow, it's almost midnight.
424
00:18:14,534 --> 00:18:18,767
Oh, look who suddenly
cares about the time.
425
00:18:18,767 --> 00:18:21,334
You know what?
426
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,334
I think I feel a little better.
427
00:18:24,567 --> 00:18:26,367
Really?
Yeah.
428
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:30,200
Thanks to you for being so
sweet and taking care of me.
429
00:18:30,200 --> 00:18:32,267
Anytime, baby.
430
00:18:32,267 --> 00:18:33,767
You know that I'm here for you.
431
00:18:41,968 --> 00:18:44,367
Okay, night-night.
No!
432
00:18:44,367 --> 00:18:46,467
No! No night-night!
No night-night!
433
00:18:46,467 --> 00:18:48,734
No!
434
00:18:50,868 --> 00:18:53,834
And that, my friends,
is how this happened.
435
00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:57,801
Wow, that was some rough sex.
436
00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:59,934
Eh, I've had rougher.
437
00:18:59,934 --> 00:19:02,934
All right, single guy's
on the board. Married guy?
438
00:19:02,934 --> 00:19:05,334
Well, your story's
pretty hard to top.
439
00:19:05,334 --> 00:19:07,167
But I'm about to do it.
440
00:19:08,534 --> 00:19:10,400
Citation for public lewdness.
441
00:19:11,968 --> 00:19:14,534
Audrey and I
did it in the park.
442
00:19:16,067 --> 00:19:18,167
Lewdly.
443
00:19:19,267 --> 00:19:20,501
Wow.
444
00:19:20,501 --> 00:19:23,501
Married guy surprises us.
Ringer?
445
00:19:24,701 --> 00:19:26,434
Okay, well...
446
00:19:26,434 --> 00:19:30,901
When I walked in, I mean,
she was already in bed and hot.
447
00:19:30,901 --> 00:19:32,801
Right? So I...
448
00:19:32,801 --> 00:19:35,000
I mean, I... I...
449
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,334
Oh, God, I can't do this.
450
00:19:37,334 --> 00:19:39,767
The truth is Jennifer is really
sick and I didn't get any.
451
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,234
Pretty lame, right?
452
00:19:42,234 --> 00:19:44,167
I could've lied,
but you guys are my friends.
453
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:45,801
And friends
don't lie to each other.
454
00:19:49,033 --> 00:19:50,868
All right, well...
455
00:19:50,868 --> 00:19:53,601
I've got something to say.
456
00:19:53,601 --> 00:19:55,200
You suck!
Ha-ha!
457
00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,834
We did it and you didn't.
458
00:19:56,834 --> 00:19:57,968
How about this?
459
00:19:57,968 --> 00:20:00,801
Laid, lewd, loser! Yeah!
460
00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:04,167
Your fiancée is a slut
and you still didn't get any!
461
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:15,000
That was great, Danny.
462
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,901
Well...
463
00:20:16,901 --> 00:20:20,467
We Dakotas
are a passionate lot.
464
00:20:20,467 --> 00:20:22,601
And you were so limber.
465
00:20:22,601 --> 00:20:25,234
I can't believe you broke
every bone in your body.
466
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:26,901
Every bone except...
467
00:20:28,734 --> 00:20:31,467
...one.
32150
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