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1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,634
I'll have the chocolate
chip pancakes. Extra butter.
2
00:00:04,634 --> 00:00:06,467
Meat lover's scramble.
Side o' bacon.
3
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,734
Wow. Is it a race to see
4
00:00:08,734 --> 00:00:11,567
who's heart explodes first?
5
00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:13,033
It is now.
6
00:00:14,167 --> 00:00:16,033
Nothing for me.
That's a good call.
7
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,300
You were looking
at bronze anyway.
8
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:19,701
I have to go
to the office early
9
00:00:19,701 --> 00:00:22,200
so I can do a bunch of stuff
for freakin' Deirdre.
10
00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:23,701
Who's freakin' Deirdre?
11
00:00:23,701 --> 00:00:25,033
This woman I work with.
12
00:00:25,033 --> 00:00:27,000
She's pregnant
and totally annoying.
13
00:00:27,000 --> 00:00:31,400
It is annoying when people
create other people.
14
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,167
No, she was always annoying.
15
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:35,834
But now it's all:
"Oh, I'm pregnant.
16
00:00:35,834 --> 00:00:37,400
"I've never felt
like such a woman.
17
00:00:37,400 --> 00:00:39,501
Who wants to guess
if it's a boy or girl?"
18
00:00:39,501 --> 00:00:41,534
Girl, I guess girl.
19
00:00:42,868 --> 00:00:44,501
The worst part is,
our boss Laura
20
00:00:44,501 --> 00:00:47,100
is just falling all over herself
to make Deirdre's life easy.
21
00:00:47,100 --> 00:00:49,133
Including having me
do all of her work.
22
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,934
And I'm sure it doesn't help
23
00:00:50,934 --> 00:00:52,901
that you and Jeff have
been trying for a while.
24
00:00:52,901 --> 00:00:55,000
Pretty casually, though.
I mean, whatever.
25
00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,901
If it happens, great.
But we don't wanna put
26
00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:59,167
any pressure on ourselves.
Except for the pressure
27
00:00:59,167 --> 00:01:00,868
of you on me.
28
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:06,000
Come on. Where's that handsome
dummy of yours?
29
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,634
He would have liked that.
30
00:01:07,634 --> 00:01:08,934
Adam's at the bus station.
31
00:01:08,934 --> 00:01:10,834
Why? Does he like it
when the wheels on the bus
32
00:01:10,834 --> 00:01:12,901
go round and round?
33
00:01:12,901 --> 00:01:15,667
Well, he's picking up
our latest house guest.
34
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,534
You guys have a lot of those.
35
00:01:17,534 --> 00:01:19,367
Yeah, thanks to Adam's
hippie parents.
36
00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:21,033
They travel the country
and meet these
37
00:01:21,033 --> 00:01:23,234
interesting people and then
tell them to look us up
38
00:01:23,234 --> 00:01:24,501
if they're ever in New York.
39
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:26,467
Well, if they're
from some place really cool
40
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,667
you guys can go on a great
vacation and stay for free.
41
00:01:28,667 --> 00:01:29,934
And here they are.
42
00:01:29,934 --> 00:01:32,601
Oh, please be from Maui.
Please be from Maui.
43
00:01:32,601 --> 00:01:34,501
Hey, everybody.
This is Toby.
44
00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:35,534
Hey, Toby.
Hi.
45
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:37,434
Hey, Toby.
Where you from?
46
00:01:37,434 --> 00:01:39,567
Lancaster, Pennsylvania.
47
00:01:39,567 --> 00:01:42,033
Great.
48
00:01:42,033 --> 00:01:44,434
Toby's Amish.
Jackpot.
49
00:01:48,033 --> 00:01:51,033
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
50
00:01:52,834 --> 00:01:57,300
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
51
00:01:57,300 --> 00:02:00,267
♪ With you by my side ♪
52
00:02:00,267 --> 00:02:02,868
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
53
00:02:02,868 --> 00:02:05,634
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
54
00:02:11,701 --> 00:02:13,534
I swear, every day
55
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,334
it's another miracle inside me.
56
00:02:15,334 --> 00:02:18,634
Today's natal nuggets:
57
00:02:18,634 --> 00:02:22,434
He can now hear me
because he's got little ears.
58
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:26,000
And hopefully little fingers
to stick in them.
59
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,200
So where do you all wanna
go to lunch today?
60
00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:29,901
Oh, how about that
new Japanese place?
61
00:02:29,901 --> 00:02:32,000
It's supposed to be great.
Oh. I can't do sushi.
62
00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,501
You know...
Got it.
63
00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:36,200
See, the, uh, mercury
and the potential parasites
64
00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:38,033
could be harmful
to the little one.
65
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:41,300
Oh, a bonus natal nugget.
66
00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:43,067
Oh. Guys,
67
00:02:43,067 --> 00:02:45,701
I would love to keep looking
at layouts with you,
68
00:02:45,701 --> 00:02:47,033
but I am spent.
69
00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,100
I tell you,
70
00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:51,868
being a vessel
for a life is exhausting.
71
00:02:51,868 --> 00:02:53,801
Hmm, it must be.
72
00:02:53,801 --> 00:02:57,400
It is exhausting
just hearing about it.
73
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:59,133
Sweetie, you should go
put your feet up.
74
00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:00,400
Audrey can finish your work.
75
00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:01,400
Right, Audrey?
76
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,601
Yeah. I'd be happy to.
77
00:03:03,601 --> 00:03:06,467
Audrey, you should
let her use your office.
78
00:03:06,467 --> 00:03:07,934
You've got the couch.
79
00:03:07,934 --> 00:03:09,601
Oh, Come on.
80
00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,234
She is not the only woman
in the world
81
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:12,267
who's having a baby.
82
00:03:12,267 --> 00:03:13,334
What do you mean?
83
00:03:13,334 --> 00:03:15,501
I mean there are other...
You...
84
00:03:15,501 --> 00:03:16,501
Never mind.
85
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:18,467
No, what?
I'm just saying,
86
00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,067
some women go about their day
87
00:03:20,067 --> 00:03:22,367
without making such a big deal
that they're pregnant.
88
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:25,734
Oh, my God! Audrey,
are you pregnant?
89
00:03:25,734 --> 00:03:28,133
What? Audrey's pregnant?
90
00:03:28,133 --> 00:03:30,133
Oh, my God, why didn't
you tell us?
91
00:03:30,133 --> 00:03:32,200
No, no, I'm not...
This is so exciting.
92
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,667
Audrey, you have
to take it easy.
93
00:03:33,667 --> 00:03:34,834
Sit down.
No, really, I...
94
00:03:34,834 --> 00:03:36,234
If I'd known you were pregnant,
95
00:03:36,234 --> 00:03:38,133
I never would have given
you Deirdre's work.
96
00:03:38,133 --> 00:03:40,133
Huh? Never what?
97
00:03:40,133 --> 00:03:44,033
You just sit down. Here,
Tracy can finish all this.
98
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:46,634
Oh, no, guys.
99
00:03:47,601 --> 00:03:49,267
Okay.
100
00:03:55,934 --> 00:03:57,501
As a gift of appreciation
101
00:03:57,501 --> 00:03:59,167
for opening
your home to me this week,
102
00:03:59,167 --> 00:04:00,634
I'd like to give you this.
103
00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:03,901
Oh. Well, thanks, Toby.
104
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:07,868
Look, Jen, we have this now.
105
00:04:07,868 --> 00:04:10,901
It's a hand carved
Pennsylvania Spotted Sparrow.
106
00:04:10,901 --> 00:04:13,567
This is a poor use
of my lunch hour.
107
00:04:13,567 --> 00:04:15,501
Why all the birds, Toby?
108
00:04:15,501 --> 00:04:18,033
I hope to sell them
to pay for my Rumspringa.
109
00:04:18,033 --> 00:04:21,901
Rumspringa?
I wish I spoke Amish.
110
00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:24,734
Rumspringa is when
a young Amish person
111
00:04:24,734 --> 00:04:27,133
leaves home to experience
modern life.
112
00:04:27,133 --> 00:04:28,901
Even after seeing
how the rest of us live,
113
00:04:28,901 --> 00:04:32,801
90 percent return home.
Lord knows why.
114
00:04:32,801 --> 00:04:35,200
But the Lord does know why.
115
00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:37,534
Home is where the heart is.
116
00:04:37,534 --> 00:04:40,767
Your heart's never been
in a truly filthy strip club.
117
00:04:42,300 --> 00:04:43,934
Well, Toby, I gotta
get back to work,
118
00:04:43,934 --> 00:04:46,334
but Jennifer's gonna show you
around this afternoon.
119
00:04:46,334 --> 00:04:48,601
That's right, Toby,
because rock smashes scissors.
120
00:04:49,601 --> 00:04:51,701
So where are you guys gonna go?
121
00:04:51,701 --> 00:04:53,334
I don't know. A museum?
122
00:04:53,334 --> 00:04:55,267
Mm. Snoring.
123
00:04:55,267 --> 00:04:56,934
Maybe Central Park.
124
00:04:56,934 --> 00:04:58,567
Oh, an open field.
125
00:04:58,567 --> 00:04:59,601
I bet he's never seen
126
00:04:59,601 --> 00:05:01,334
that before.
127
00:05:01,334 --> 00:05:05,100
Sucks for you, dude.
Worst Rumspringa ever.
128
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,467
If you think you can do better,
129
00:05:06,467 --> 00:05:07,834
why don't you show Toby around?
130
00:05:07,834 --> 00:05:10,534
Sorry, Witness, I roll solo.
131
00:05:10,534 --> 00:05:12,601
Come on. Nobody knows
a young man's New York City
132
00:05:12,601 --> 00:05:13,601
better than you do.
133
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:16,200
Except maybe a young man.
134
00:05:17,367 --> 00:05:19,934
I'll do the jokes, Dimpleton.
135
00:05:19,934 --> 00:05:22,634
Ah, I have you know
that a rolling with me
136
00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:24,601
for a few days would be
the thrill of a lifetime
137
00:05:24,601 --> 00:05:25,801
for this kid.
138
00:05:25,801 --> 00:05:29,634
Well, actually, farm life
is very exciting.
139
00:05:29,634 --> 00:05:32,167
Last year, Uncle Caleb
lost his spectacles
140
00:05:32,167 --> 00:05:33,634
in the wheat field.
141
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,501
Oh, classic Uncle Caleb.
142
00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:39,601
Come on, help me.
143
00:05:39,601 --> 00:05:42,567
Well,
144
00:05:42,567 --> 00:05:45,067
I've been on a 20 year
Rumspringa me self.
145
00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,667
I guess it's time to give back.
146
00:05:46,667 --> 00:05:49,667
All right, Quaker Oats,
you're with me now. Come on.
147
00:05:49,667 --> 00:05:51,000
Here we go.
148
00:05:54,701 --> 00:05:59,167
Oh, beer cold. Chili hot.
Chair comfy.
149
00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:01,234
And playoffs.
150
00:06:02,267 --> 00:06:03,300
Wanna do it?
151
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:04,234
Yeah.
152
00:06:08,033 --> 00:06:10,667
That was a pleasant surprise.
153
00:06:10,667 --> 00:06:12,534
I thought you'd like that.
154
00:06:12,534 --> 00:06:14,133
Where are you going?
155
00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,467
To re-heat my chili.
156
00:06:16,734 --> 00:06:19,067
You're right,
it's probably still hot.
157
00:06:22,434 --> 00:06:24,400
What are you doing,
we cuddled last time.
158
00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:26,801
Who said anything
about cuddling?
159
00:06:26,801 --> 00:06:29,334
Really? Again?
160
00:06:29,334 --> 00:06:31,000
What do you say?
161
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,067
I think I can rally.
162
00:06:33,067 --> 00:06:34,701
Mm-hm.
163
00:06:36,033 --> 00:06:39,133
Twice is gonna be
enough though, right?
164
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:46,467
Russell and Toby aren't back?
165
00:06:46,467 --> 00:06:47,667
Not yet.
166
00:06:47,667 --> 00:06:49,501
Oh, I feel terrible.
My mom called
167
00:06:49,501 --> 00:06:50,901
to see how Toby's
visit's going,
168
00:06:50,901 --> 00:06:51,901
and I had to lie to her.
169
00:06:51,901 --> 00:06:53,467
You told her
we didn't leave him
170
00:06:53,467 --> 00:06:56,267
in the custody
of a perverted little troll?
171
00:06:56,267 --> 00:06:59,667
This isn't a joke. I mean,
Toby's our responsibility.
172
00:06:59,667 --> 00:07:01,701
Okay, why don't you
do us a favor.
173
00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:03,667
And tell your parents
to retire the VW bus
174
00:07:03,667 --> 00:07:05,934
and stop sending us
America's rejects.
175
00:07:07,467 --> 00:07:09,701
Oh, here they are.
Hey, how was your day?
176
00:07:09,701 --> 00:07:13,701
It was wonderful. Mr. Russell
knows so many things.
177
00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:16,367
Well, in fairness,
I didn't build the elevator
178
00:07:16,367 --> 00:07:19,567
but I do know
how to make her go.
179
00:07:19,567 --> 00:07:21,934
A-And then he took me
to play video games.
180
00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:23,067
And then out to lunch.
181
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,033
Guess whose heart now has seen
182
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:28,334
the inside
of a filthy strip club?
183
00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:29,934
One lady was so silly.
184
00:07:29,934 --> 00:07:32,901
She sat upon my lap
upside down.
185
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,534
I'm sorry about that, Toby.
186
00:07:35,534 --> 00:07:37,734
Oh, I wasn't complaining.
187
00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:41,634
Well, uh, tonight Adam and I
188
00:07:41,634 --> 00:07:43,434
thought we'd take you
to the planetarium.
189
00:07:43,434 --> 00:07:44,601
Yeah, it's really cool.
190
00:07:44,601 --> 00:07:46,167
It's just like looking
at the stars,
191
00:07:46,167 --> 00:07:48,901
except it's the ceiling.
192
00:07:48,901 --> 00:07:51,000
Yeah.
193
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,434
That sounds fun.
194
00:07:53,701 --> 00:07:55,667
Um, but Mr. Russell
had mentioned
195
00:07:55,667 --> 00:07:58,234
something about
female oil wrestling.
196
00:07:59,934 --> 00:08:02,167
Russell, I...
What? He's a sports fan.
197
00:08:03,667 --> 00:08:05,534
All right, great. Well,
then I am gonna meet
198
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:07,133
my girlfriends downtown
for dinner.
199
00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:08,901
See you.
What about the planetarium?
200
00:08:08,901 --> 00:08:11,067
We were supposed to get wasted.
201
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:15,167
Russell. Adam. Amish.
202
00:08:15,167 --> 00:08:17,434
Hello.
203
00:08:17,434 --> 00:08:19,934
So I just completed a command
performance with the missus,
204
00:08:19,934 --> 00:08:23,133
who then demanded an encore.
205
00:08:23,133 --> 00:08:24,634
Really?
206
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:25,834
I'm not one to kiss and tell,
207
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:27,801
but let's just say twice.
208
00:08:29,601 --> 00:08:30,934
I don't understand.
209
00:08:30,934 --> 00:08:32,534
What's going on?
210
00:08:32,534 --> 00:08:33,667
Uh, how do I put this?
211
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:37,968
Ah, two times
he banged upon Miss Audrey.
212
00:08:37,968 --> 00:08:39,334
Oh!
213
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,300
I say we use three shots
of the living room,
214
00:08:47,300 --> 00:08:49,400
it's just so spectac...
215
00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:50,968
Excuse me.
216
00:08:50,968 --> 00:08:52,634
Oh, that's okay,
you should be tired.
217
00:08:52,634 --> 00:08:54,601
Your body's going through
some big changes.
218
00:08:54,601 --> 00:08:55,968
Hm?
219
00:08:55,968 --> 00:08:57,834
Yeah. Well, yeah.
220
00:08:57,834 --> 00:08:59,801
Sure is.
221
00:08:59,801 --> 00:09:01,901
Audrey, easy.
222
00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:03,801
Oh, it's all right.
He's a tough little guy.
223
00:09:03,801 --> 00:09:05,767
Little guy?
Does that mean it's a boy?
224
00:09:05,767 --> 00:09:08,334
Sure.
225
00:09:08,334 --> 00:09:10,334
Do you guys have your name
picked out?
226
00:09:10,334 --> 00:09:14,868
Um, you know we're
somewhere between Jared and...
227
00:09:14,868 --> 00:09:17,200
We're really
leaning toward Jared.
228
00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:20,033
Oh, w-we were thinking
of Jared.
229
00:09:20,033 --> 00:09:22,534
Mm. I kind of said it first.
230
00:09:24,367 --> 00:09:26,467
Oh, gosh. Can my ankles
be swollen already?
231
00:09:26,467 --> 00:09:28,601
Oh, I think I need
to go put my feet up.
232
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:32,334
Oh, absolutely.
I got it from here.
233
00:09:32,334 --> 00:09:34,100
We were also thinking
of Steven.
234
00:09:34,100 --> 00:09:36,334
Our middle name.
235
00:09:41,601 --> 00:09:43,067
Hi, Laura.
Is Audrey around?
236
00:09:43,067 --> 00:09:44,467
Sure, I'll tell her
you're here.
237
00:09:44,467 --> 00:09:45,601
I'll tell her myself.
238
00:09:45,601 --> 00:09:47,300
I wanna surprise her,
take her to lunch.
239
00:09:47,300 --> 00:09:48,467
That's so sweet of you.
240
00:09:48,467 --> 00:09:50,367
Congratulations, by the way.
241
00:09:50,367 --> 00:09:52,000
On what?
You don't have to be coy.
242
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,334
Audrey told us the big news.
243
00:09:53,334 --> 00:09:54,834
Not that she had to.
244
00:09:54,834 --> 00:09:58,033
It was obvious, she was
so exhausted this morning.
245
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:00,801
She told you?
246
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:02,801
Wow. I... I didn't know
247
00:10:02,801 --> 00:10:05,834
she was going wide
with this information.
248
00:10:05,834 --> 00:10:07,601
Well, when something
like this happens,
249
00:10:07,601 --> 00:10:09,000
you just have to tell somebody.
250
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,367
Mm-hm.
I couldn't agree more.
251
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:11,734
I like to tell everybody but...
252
00:10:11,734 --> 00:10:14,467
Audrey's usually a little
more private about this.
253
00:10:14,467 --> 00:10:16,567
Oh, well, we dragged
all the details out of her.
254
00:10:16,567 --> 00:10:19,234
Um, including the name.
255
00:10:20,667 --> 00:10:22,501
Well, uh, boy,
I... I didn't know women
256
00:10:22,501 --> 00:10:24,267
were so interested
in this kind of stuff.
257
00:10:24,267 --> 00:10:27,501
Are you kidding? Sometimes
it's all we think about.
258
00:10:27,501 --> 00:10:31,100
You know, it's pretty much
all I think about too.
259
00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,834
There he is, you did it.
You're the man.
260
00:10:38,501 --> 00:10:39,834
Surprise.
261
00:10:39,834 --> 00:10:41,767
Hey, what are you doing here?
262
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:44,000
Taking you to lunch.
263
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,100
You told everyone
we had sex two times last night?
264
00:10:47,100 --> 00:10:48,934
What?
265
00:10:48,934 --> 00:10:50,367
They're all congratulating me.
266
00:10:50,367 --> 00:10:52,801
I am a rock star out there.
267
00:10:52,801 --> 00:10:54,801
Yes. Yes.
268
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,200
They are congratulating you
269
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,067
because we had sex twice
last night.
270
00:10:58,067 --> 00:11:01,701
Mm. Sorry, I just couldn't
keep it to myself.
271
00:11:01,701 --> 00:11:03,334
Because it was that good.
272
00:11:04,868 --> 00:11:06,868
Because it was that good.
273
00:11:06,868 --> 00:11:08,567
Uh, y-you told them
the name?
274
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,033
What?
Little Jeff.
275
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:15,300
Yeah, I must have
let that slip.
276
00:11:21,367 --> 00:11:23,133
Listen, I just heard the news,
277
00:11:23,133 --> 00:11:24,400
and I know this is personal,
278
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,067
but my husband and I
have been trying.
279
00:11:26,067 --> 00:11:28,167
How long did it take you guys?
280
00:11:28,167 --> 00:11:29,934
Counting the time in between?
281
00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:31,400
Uh, l-let's go.
282
00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,334
You have him call me.
283
00:11:42,167 --> 00:11:43,634
Turkey burger for you.
284
00:11:43,634 --> 00:11:46,100
And here's your cheeseburger.
285
00:11:46,100 --> 00:11:47,367
I made it a double
286
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:49,634
because I know how you like
everything twice.
287
00:11:53,834 --> 00:11:56,267
You are not wrong.
288
00:11:57,968 --> 00:11:59,767
Did you have to tell everybody?
289
00:11:59,767 --> 00:12:00,968
You told everybody at work.
290
00:12:00,968 --> 00:12:02,133
Besides, I didn't tell her.
291
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,968
It just came up
in conversation.
292
00:12:03,968 --> 00:12:06,367
That came up in conversation?
293
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:09,567
She said she put
in a double shift last night.
294
00:12:10,901 --> 00:12:13,534
How do I not say my thing?
295
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,701
Ah, El Doble.
296
00:12:19,534 --> 00:12:21,968
That one's a little harder
to explain.
297
00:12:21,968 --> 00:12:23,234
Ugh, hey, guys.
298
00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:26,000
Audrey, I just got a message
from Laura at your work.
299
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,067
Something about
a shower for you?
300
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:31,334
Y-Yeah, that... Its...
Funny story.
301
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:34,133
I once went to work
straight from the gym
302
00:12:34,133 --> 00:12:35,467
without showering. Ha!
303
00:12:35,467 --> 00:12:38,067
It was a bit of an issue.
304
00:12:38,067 --> 00:12:40,968
I remember that day.
305
00:12:40,968 --> 00:12:44,834
Yeah, I think I remember
that day too.
306
00:12:44,834 --> 00:12:49,000
Well, it's under control,
now, so...
307
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:51,467
Um, hey, where's that little
farmer friend of yours?
308
00:12:51,467 --> 00:12:54,501
I feel kind of bad. We pawned
him off on Russell again.
309
00:12:54,501 --> 00:12:57,534
He wanted to go. You know,
and it's not that big of a deal.
310
00:12:57,534 --> 00:12:59,000
He's only gone out
with him twice.
311
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,367
Twice. Like the number
of times
312
00:13:00,367 --> 00:13:02,400
Audrey and I did it last night.
313
00:13:03,834 --> 00:13:04,868
Jeff!
314
00:13:04,868 --> 00:13:06,601
What? She brought it up.
315
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:09,834
Oh, boy.
316
00:13:09,834 --> 00:13:11,234
Mm.
317
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,834
Russell.
318
00:13:16,901 --> 00:13:18,868
Amish Russell.
319
00:13:19,968 --> 00:13:21,501
Mr. Russell helped me
to pick out
320
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:22,868
some more modern garb.
321
00:13:22,868 --> 00:13:24,300
Modern?
322
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:28,234
It looks more like 1970's
porno wardrobe.
323
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,634
You're right. It is.
324
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,033
He knows what porno is?
325
00:13:35,033 --> 00:13:37,467
Grumpy. Somebody only
got it once today.
326
00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:38,400
Hey, listen.
327
00:13:39,634 --> 00:13:41,300
Check this out.
328
00:13:41,300 --> 00:13:43,234
Tonight I'm gonna take
my man Toby
329
00:13:43,234 --> 00:13:46,167
and we're gonna hit-eth
a secret party downtown.
330
00:13:46,167 --> 00:13:48,567
I am told it will not
be on the chain.
331
00:13:50,300 --> 00:13:51,501
How do you not love this kid?
332
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:54,100
You should hear him swear,
it's hysterical.
333
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:56,267
Well, Jen and I
are responsible for him,
334
00:13:56,267 --> 00:13:59,067
so just make sure he's still
Amish when you're done.
335
00:13:59,067 --> 00:14:00,334
Yeah, don't worry about it.
336
00:14:00,334 --> 00:14:02,300
You should be thanking me.
If it wasn't for me,
337
00:14:02,300 --> 00:14:04,267
he'd be spending
his Rumspringa on your couch
338
00:14:04,267 --> 00:14:06,701
whittling his wood.
339
00:14:06,701 --> 00:14:09,000
I'm not even kidding
he would literally
340
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,934
be whittling his wood.
341
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:18,868
So you lied to your husband,
342
00:14:18,868 --> 00:14:21,334
your co-workers,
and your boss.
343
00:14:21,334 --> 00:14:24,534
That's one way to put it.
344
00:14:24,534 --> 00:14:26,100
And your plan
is to keep having sex,
345
00:14:26,100 --> 00:14:29,000
hoping to get pregnant so that
no one knows that you lied.
346
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:33,267
Crazier things have happened.
347
00:14:33,267 --> 00:14:35,868
I'm not sure they have.
348
00:14:35,868 --> 00:14:37,767
It was my only shot.
All right?
349
00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:38,801
Because I am screwed
350
00:14:38,801 --> 00:14:40,200
if I don't have
something in here
351
00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:42,100
by the 15th of next month.
352
00:14:42,100 --> 00:14:43,834
Why then?
353
00:14:43,834 --> 00:14:46,100
I promised sonogram
pictures of Jared.
354
00:14:47,767 --> 00:14:49,300
You named him Jared?
355
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:51,734
I wasn't gonna
let Deirdre have it.
356
00:14:51,734 --> 00:14:53,934
You're not actually
having a baby.
357
00:14:53,934 --> 00:14:56,067
Look, if you're not part
of the solution,
358
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,267
you're part of the problem.
359
00:15:00,601 --> 00:15:03,067
Took some work, but I managed
to get through the whole day
360
00:15:03,067 --> 00:15:04,334
without finding out who won
361
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:06,200
that playoff game last night.
362
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:07,868
Wanna have sex?
Yes, I do.
363
00:15:10,133 --> 00:15:11,467
Don't mention the game.
364
00:15:11,467 --> 00:15:14,367
Oh, there goes our foreplay.
365
00:15:16,501 --> 00:15:18,367
Hold that thought.
366
00:15:21,968 --> 00:15:22,968
Oh, thanks.
367
00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:24,234
Oh, wow.
368
00:15:24,234 --> 00:15:26,167
Ha-ha. Don't mind that.
That's for me.
369
00:15:26,167 --> 00:15:28,834
I'll just get rid of that.
370
00:15:28,834 --> 00:15:30,667
What were all those balloons?
371
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:37,100
What balloons?
372
00:15:37,100 --> 00:15:39,167
I didn't see any balloons.
It's from your work.
373
00:15:39,167 --> 00:15:40,934
What's, uh, with the bird
on this card?
374
00:15:40,934 --> 00:15:42,167
Is this a stork?
375
00:15:42,167 --> 00:15:43,467
That's a bird.
376
00:15:43,467 --> 00:15:44,567
That's just a regular,
377
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:47,400
"Congratulations
on all your sex" bird.
378
00:15:48,667 --> 00:15:50,200
Audrey, are you pregnant?
379
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:53,133
No, I'm not. But, uh,
380
00:15:53,133 --> 00:15:54,934
everyone at work
kind of thinks I am.
381
00:15:54,934 --> 00:15:56,334
Well, I told you
to stop hitting
382
00:15:56,334 --> 00:15:58,267
those muffins so hard.
383
00:15:59,334 --> 00:16:02,234
No. It was
a misunderstanding,
384
00:16:02,234 --> 00:16:04,133
and I didn't correct it and...
385
00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:07,200
And now I get to take naps
in the afternoon.
386
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:08,667
Oh, so you're not pregnant.
387
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:10,501
You're insane.
388
00:16:11,667 --> 00:16:13,501
Look, I know it was
a stupid thing to do.
389
00:16:13,501 --> 00:16:14,868
I'm sorry I dragged
you into it.
390
00:16:14,868 --> 00:16:15,901
I can't believe this.
391
00:16:15,901 --> 00:16:17,400
That's why everyone
at your office
392
00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:18,534
was so happy for me.
393
00:16:18,534 --> 00:16:20,300
Jeff, I wasn't trying
to trick you...
394
00:16:20,300 --> 00:16:23,234
So nobody there knows
we did it twice.
395
00:16:24,701 --> 00:16:26,300
That's why you're upset?
396
00:16:26,300 --> 00:16:27,868
Yeah.
397
00:16:32,067 --> 00:16:34,501
You really think I would tell
everyone at my work
398
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:35,801
that we had sex twice?
399
00:16:35,801 --> 00:16:37,701
The people at the diner
were pretty fired up.
400
00:16:37,701 --> 00:16:42,000
Yeah, we may have to find
some place new to eat.
401
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,467
So I guess twice
had nothing to do
402
00:16:43,467 --> 00:16:45,901
with me being that good.
403
00:16:45,901 --> 00:16:47,367
No, you were good.
404
00:16:47,367 --> 00:16:50,901
Yeah, once good.
405
00:16:50,901 --> 00:16:52,767
Honey, I didn't mean
to hurt your feelings.
406
00:16:52,767 --> 00:16:54,067
I was just embarrassed.
407
00:16:54,067 --> 00:16:57,167
Tomorrow I will tell everybody
at work the truth.
408
00:16:57,167 --> 00:16:59,100
That we did it twice?
409
00:17:00,267 --> 00:17:03,467
No, that I lied
about being pregnant.
410
00:17:03,467 --> 00:17:05,834
But th-that doesn't mean
that we can't still do it.
411
00:17:05,834 --> 00:17:07,200
Come on.
412
00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,467
How about right now.
413
00:17:08,467 --> 00:17:10,767
You're only offering
because you feel guilty.
414
00:17:10,767 --> 00:17:12,534
Jeff.
No, no, I'll take it.
415
00:17:12,534 --> 00:17:15,167
I'm...
416
00:17:15,167 --> 00:17:16,901
I just wanna go on record
as saying
417
00:17:16,901 --> 00:17:18,334
it's because you feel guilty.
418
00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:23,067
You know what?
You are that good.
419
00:17:23,067 --> 00:17:24,734
Ah, thanks.
420
00:17:24,734 --> 00:17:27,801
But only once.
I almost died last night.
421
00:17:35,601 --> 00:17:38,033
Oh, hey, hey, where's Toby?
422
00:17:38,033 --> 00:17:39,400
He didn't come home last night.
423
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,467
Oh, yeah. He's sleeping
it off at my house.
424
00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:44,534
Oh, that party was bananas.
425
00:17:44,534 --> 00:17:47,367
I put the spring
in his Rumspringa.
426
00:17:48,634 --> 00:17:49,934
Ooh, and the rum.
427
00:17:49,934 --> 00:17:51,634
You let him drink?
428
00:17:51,634 --> 00:17:53,734
Well, those shots weren't
gonna suck themselves
429
00:17:53,734 --> 00:17:55,934
out of the cheerleaders'
belly buttons.
430
00:17:55,934 --> 00:17:59,133
Oh, nice. Yeah.
431
00:18:00,300 --> 00:18:02,667
What, you have an outie.
432
00:18:02,667 --> 00:18:04,367
You know, maybe this
is my calling.
433
00:18:04,367 --> 00:18:06,801
Maybe every Amish kid
should hang out with me
434
00:18:06,801 --> 00:18:08,400
for a while and see
what he's missing.
435
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,300
What if he doesn't wanna
go back to his family
436
00:18:10,300 --> 00:18:11,934
and Amish lifestyle?
437
00:18:11,934 --> 00:18:14,167
You know, his parents
are gonna call us and scream.
438
00:18:14,167 --> 00:18:17,267
Duh, they don't have phones.
439
00:18:17,267 --> 00:18:20,467
I mean, the worst we'll get is
a quilt with a few angry panels.
440
00:18:20,467 --> 00:18:23,767
Hey, there he is.
Two days with me,
441
00:18:23,767 --> 00:18:25,234
and he went from
a-plowing a field
442
00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:27,200
to a-plowing a field.
443
00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,501
I hear you had
a crazy night last night.
444
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:34,200
Yeah, uh, I can't do
belly shots with her,
445
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:36,601
just spills everywhere.
446
00:18:36,601 --> 00:18:38,634
I like the old school
outfit, dude.
447
00:18:38,634 --> 00:18:40,133
There better
be a zipper on there,
448
00:18:40,133 --> 00:18:41,701
because we're going
to Chinatown,
449
00:18:41,701 --> 00:18:44,467
there's a massage place toward...
There's no need, Mr. Russell.
450
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:47,367
Your plan worked.
I'm going home.
451
00:18:47,367 --> 00:18:50,033
Ah, yeah, my plan.
What plan was that?
452
00:18:50,033 --> 00:18:53,067
Your plan to teach me
what's really important in life
453
00:18:53,067 --> 00:18:54,234
by showing me an existence
454
00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:57,367
so empty and devoid of meaning.
455
00:18:57,367 --> 00:19:00,200
Yeah. You figured
that one out, did you?
456
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:03,133
How could I not?
457
00:19:03,133 --> 00:19:05,367
I mean, obviously no one
lives a life that shallow.
458
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:08,501
Obviously.
459
00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:10,200
Thank you again for showing me
460
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,901
the depths of depravity...
Yeah, yeah. No, no, we got it.
461
00:19:12,901 --> 00:19:14,467
All right, so you gotta
get running.
462
00:19:14,467 --> 00:19:17,100
So you gotta scram.
He's gotta hayride, I think so...
463
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:19,234
Come on, Toby. We'll take you
to the bus station.
464
00:19:19,234 --> 00:19:20,567
Okay.
465
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,767
Bye, Mr. Russell.
Yeah.
466
00:19:22,767 --> 00:19:25,234
Now that I'm leaving you can
resume living your real life.
467
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:27,634
Yeah, oh, yeah.
468
00:19:29,434 --> 00:19:32,767
Oh, yeah. Can't wait
to get back to that.
469
00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,267
Hey, mama, how you feeling?
470
00:19:39,267 --> 00:19:41,100
Oh, good, you got the basket.
471
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:45,434
Uh, yeah, listen, guys.
I have to tell you something.
472
00:19:45,434 --> 00:19:48,334
See, the... The truth is,
I should return that to you
473
00:19:48,334 --> 00:19:52,033
because, uh, I'm not pregnant.
474
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,467
See what happened was...
475
00:19:53,467 --> 00:19:55,033
Oh, you don't have to say it.
476
00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:57,534
And you know
it's totally normal.
477
00:19:57,534 --> 00:19:58,868
You just need to keep trying.
478
00:19:58,868 --> 00:20:00,968
Oh, no. No, no, no, see...
479
00:20:00,968 --> 00:20:03,267
No, look. Just take a couple
of days off.
480
00:20:03,267 --> 00:20:04,267
Okay?
481
00:20:04,267 --> 00:20:08,133
Oh, I don't...
482
00:20:08,133 --> 00:20:09,934
Maybe that would be best.
483
00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,200
Oh.
484
00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:28,334
Oh, my God, your outfit
is so cute.
485
00:20:28,334 --> 00:20:30,868
Mm, I've never met
an Amish guy before.
486
00:20:32,033 --> 00:20:35,734
Yes, I am innocent
to your big city ways,
487
00:20:35,734 --> 00:20:39,367
and I have only
my Rumspringa to experience
488
00:20:39,367 --> 00:20:42,634
the carnal joys of modern life.
489
00:20:42,634 --> 00:20:44,501
Wait, Rumspringa?
490
00:20:44,501 --> 00:20:45,968
Isn't that for,
like, teenagers?
491
00:20:45,968 --> 00:20:48,100
Yes, it is.
492
00:20:48,100 --> 00:20:51,100
Wow, you look
much older than that.
493
00:20:51,100 --> 00:20:54,100
Yes, it's a hard life
on the farm.
494
00:20:54,100 --> 00:20:57,601
Hey, can I get a vodka tonic,
no ice? Thank you.
495
00:20:57,601 --> 00:21:00,601
Tell me, thy belly button,
496
00:21:00,601 --> 00:21:03,701
wouldst they be
an innie or outie?
35178
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