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1
00:00:02,534 --> 00:00:04,167
That whole bag
of pretzel nuggets
2
00:00:04,167 --> 00:00:05,834
with the peanut butter
inside is gone.
3
00:00:05,834 --> 00:00:08,267
Yeah.
4
00:00:08,267 --> 00:00:10,000
I just bought it yesterday.
5
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:11,467
Did you want some?
6
00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:13,334
I guess not.
7
00:00:13,334 --> 00:00:15,501
Worked out perfect.
8
00:00:15,501 --> 00:00:18,067
I can't believe we're finally
seeing this movie.
9
00:00:19,701 --> 00:00:23,968
We're probably the last couple
in Manhattan who hasn't seen...
10
00:00:26,133 --> 00:00:29,000
Jeff.
What? Is it over?
11
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:31,434
No, it's not over.
It hasn't even started.
12
00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:32,434
You were asleep.
13
00:00:32,434 --> 00:00:33,667
I wasn't sleeping.
14
00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,701
I was just concentrating
really hard.
15
00:00:36,701 --> 00:00:39,801
Why'd you even rent the movie if
you were too tired to watch it?
16
00:00:39,801 --> 00:00:41,033
Isn't it obvious?
17
00:00:41,033 --> 00:00:44,000
So that I could be part
of this conversation.
18
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,701
Honey, I mean, come on,
it's barely 9.
19
00:00:46,701 --> 00:00:48,701
Hey, I was up at 6:30
this morning.
20
00:00:48,701 --> 00:00:50,234
You slept till well past 7.
21
00:00:50,234 --> 00:00:54,534
I was pretending, 'cause
I know why you woke up at 6:30.
22
00:00:54,534 --> 00:00:57,501
Well played.
23
00:00:57,501 --> 00:01:00,634
And by the way, you used up
all the hot water.
24
00:01:00,634 --> 00:01:02,801
Well, I wouldn't have had
to take such a long shower
25
00:01:02,801 --> 00:01:06,567
if you hadn't pretended
to be asleep.
26
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,200
Well played.
27
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:13,667
It's fine. If you're tired,
just go to bed.
28
00:01:13,667 --> 00:01:15,534
The only thing I'm tired of
is you bugging me
29
00:01:15,534 --> 00:01:19,234
while I'm trying to watch
this movie. Now let's do this.
30
00:01:19,234 --> 00:01:21,167
Fine.
31
00:01:33,033 --> 00:01:36,467
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you"? ♪
32
00:01:38,267 --> 00:01:43,000
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
33
00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:45,834
♪ With you by my side ♪
34
00:01:45,834 --> 00:01:48,501
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
35
00:01:48,501 --> 00:01:50,767
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
36
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,267
You're really only
thinking of yourself.
37
00:01:59,267 --> 00:02:02,100
I am not, I'm thinking of us.
38
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:03,501
I'm thinking of shooting myself
39
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:06,200
because the suspense
sure isn't killing me.
40
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,434
What's going on?
41
00:02:07,434 --> 00:02:09,334
It's private.
She went off the pill
42
00:02:09,334 --> 00:02:12,400
and now I have to use condoms.
43
00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:16,334
When do we get to "private" on
your word-of-the-day calendar?
44
00:02:16,334 --> 00:02:18,367
Now, you said
you wear condoms, plural.
45
00:02:18,367 --> 00:02:21,601
You know it's just one at a
time, right? You do know that?
46
00:02:21,601 --> 00:02:24,033
Yes, yes, I know.
Thing is, it's just...
47
00:02:24,033 --> 00:02:25,234
less fun.
48
00:02:25,234 --> 00:02:27,601
Oh, boo-hoo.
49
00:02:27,601 --> 00:02:29,968
I make sure
I'm always prepared.
50
00:02:29,968 --> 00:02:32,367
Oh, that's considerate
to have slightly less of you
51
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:34,167
actually touching her.
52
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:36,534
Yes, and I get the ribbed kind,
53
00:02:36,534 --> 00:02:38,000
for her pleasure.
54
00:02:39,767 --> 00:02:43,467
Although I do wear
them inside out.
55
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:46,033
Look, I've taken care
of birth control since we met.
56
00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:47,601
Since the night we met.
57
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,834
Yeah.
58
00:02:49,834 --> 00:02:51,901
Way to make him work for it.
59
00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:54,734
Well, hey, in her defense,
she was totally wasted.
60
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:56,501
I was not!
61
00:02:56,501 --> 00:02:59,734
Um, being sober doesn't make you
look any better in this story.
62
00:02:59,734 --> 00:03:01,901
Hey, I have an idea
for birth control.
63
00:03:01,901 --> 00:03:03,100
I stop having sex with you.
64
00:03:03,100 --> 00:03:04,133
Oh.
65
00:03:04,133 --> 00:03:06,567
But would you still...?
No.
66
00:03:06,567 --> 00:03:09,801
Yeah, but could I possibly...?
Nope.
67
00:03:09,801 --> 00:03:12,767
Well, then that's
a terrible idea.
68
00:03:12,767 --> 00:03:14,100
Why is it always assumed
69
00:03:14,100 --> 00:03:16,200
that protection is
the woman's responsibility?
70
00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:17,367
It's from the Bible.
71
00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:19,868
Mm-hm, Corinthians.
72
00:03:21,300 --> 00:03:23,167
Well, from now on
if you want to know me,
73
00:03:23,167 --> 00:03:26,234
thou shalt sheath thy sword.
74
00:03:26,234 --> 00:03:27,300
"Sword."
75
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:29,400
Yeah.
76
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,501
Oh, hey-o.
Hey.
77
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,534
Hey
Hey, guys.
78
00:03:32,534 --> 00:03:35,334
Check out this photo I took
last night of Old Man Jeff.
79
00:03:35,334 --> 00:03:38,067
Audrey, it's not that funny.
80
00:03:39,234 --> 00:03:41,167
Oh, look at you
with your bifocals
81
00:03:41,167 --> 00:03:42,634
down at the end of your nose.
82
00:03:42,634 --> 00:03:45,400
Snuggled under your afghan.
83
00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,701
She put that stuff
on me last night.
84
00:03:47,701 --> 00:03:49,367
He kept falling asleep
during a movie.
85
00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,200
I did not.
Uh, right.
86
00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,234
He kept falling asleep
before a movie.
87
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,234
You look like
my grandfather. Hm-hm.
88
00:03:56,234 --> 00:03:58,400
He's dead.
89
00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,100
Uh, look, I don't care
what my age is.
90
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,834
I haven't lost
a step at home, work,
91
00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:06,667
or the battlefield.
The battlefield?
92
00:04:06,667 --> 00:04:09,234
Sadly, he's referring
to his softball league.
93
00:04:09,234 --> 00:04:10,934
Yeah, I'll tell you what.
94
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:13,200
Why don't you come
to my next game,
95
00:04:13,200 --> 00:04:14,367
you can see for yourself.
96
00:04:14,367 --> 00:04:16,434
Yeah, no thanks.
Last game I went to,
97
00:04:16,434 --> 00:04:19,601
the team put me in charge
of beer distribution.
98
00:04:19,601 --> 00:04:22,267
I was
the "beverage bimbo."
99
00:04:22,267 --> 00:04:24,434
Hey, bevy bim's
an important position.
100
00:04:24,434 --> 00:04:26,033
I like that name.
Hey, Doreen.
101
00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:28,334
How about I start calling
you the bevy bim?
102
00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:31,667
Try it, see how it goes.
103
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:40,334
Die!
Die, you idiot!
104
00:04:40,334 --> 00:04:42,367
We haven't started
the game yet.
105
00:04:42,367 --> 00:04:45,868
I know. You're taking so long.
So, "Die! Die, you idiot!"
106
00:04:47,033 --> 00:04:48,534
Oh.
107
00:04:48,534 --> 00:04:51,634
Oh, hey.
Hey.
108
00:04:51,634 --> 00:04:53,300
What is that smell?
109
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:55,200
What smell?
110
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,467
Oh, dude.
I didn't.
111
00:04:57,467 --> 00:04:59,534
Seriously,
you don't smell that?
112
00:04:59,534 --> 00:05:01,734
I don't.
Huh.
113
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,801
You never smell anything.
What's wrong with you?
114
00:05:06,033 --> 00:05:07,300
What's wrong with her?
115
00:05:07,300 --> 00:05:08,534
Since she went off the pill
116
00:05:08,534 --> 00:05:10,000
her hormones
are all out of whack.
117
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,801
She's snapping at everything.
118
00:05:11,801 --> 00:05:13,300
You left dirty dishes,
didn't you?
119
00:05:13,300 --> 00:05:15,133
No.
120
00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,133
Then what's this?
121
00:05:17,133 --> 00:05:19,501
It's a dirty dish.
122
00:05:19,501 --> 00:05:22,234
You're doing good.
123
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:24,634
You don't want to clean up?
You don't want to wash dishes?
124
00:05:24,634 --> 00:05:26,434
You want to sit around
and play video games
125
00:05:26,434 --> 00:05:29,100
with your moron little friend?
126
00:05:29,100 --> 00:05:32,801
There, now you never
have to wash it again.
127
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:38,000
Okay, make a break for it.
128
00:05:39,467 --> 00:05:43,100
You'll only lose the engagement
ring and a little pride.
129
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:44,467
I don't know what to do, man.
130
00:05:44,467 --> 00:05:46,334
Every little thing
sets her off now.
131
00:05:46,334 --> 00:05:48,200
Yeah, dude, that's scary.
132
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,934
I remember
when I was a little kid
133
00:05:49,934 --> 00:05:52,100
and my dad wouldn't come home,
134
00:05:52,100 --> 00:05:54,934
so my mom would get mad
and she'd start drinking vodka,
135
00:05:54,934 --> 00:05:56,901
and then she'd wear
this see-through nightie
136
00:05:56,901 --> 00:05:58,434
so everyone could
see through it...
137
00:05:58,434 --> 00:06:01,434
Get in here right now!
Cover yourself up, Mommy!
138
00:06:09,367 --> 00:06:11,801
All right! All right!
139
00:06:11,801 --> 00:06:13,567
Way to go! Way to go!
140
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,267
Yeah, way to go!
Way to go!
141
00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:19,033
Hey.
142
00:06:19,033 --> 00:06:21,300
Audrey, this is Evan.
143
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:23,567
He's the new guy on the team.
Audrey Bingham?
144
00:06:23,567 --> 00:06:27,968
Wow. The guys say you were,
like, the best bevy bim ever.
145
00:06:27,968 --> 00:06:30,634
Oh. Well, thank you.
Oh, yeah.
146
00:06:30,634 --> 00:06:33,667
She could haul beer
like a Clydesdale.
147
00:06:33,667 --> 00:06:34,701
Nice to meet you, ma'am.
148
00:06:35,901 --> 00:06:37,234
A Clydesdale?
149
00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:39,400
What?
It's a very regal animal.
150
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,033
Ah, why did I even come here?
151
00:06:42,033 --> 00:06:43,734
That's probably
what Evan's thinking.
152
00:06:43,734 --> 00:06:44,901
Poor kid sits on the bench
153
00:06:44,901 --> 00:06:47,000
'cause he plays
the same position as me.
154
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:50,868
Excuse me, have to go conduct
a little batting clinic.
155
00:06:59,868 --> 00:07:01,701
Oh! Ah! My back!
156
00:07:01,701 --> 00:07:03,000
Oh!
157
00:07:04,367 --> 00:07:06,634
Man, you look like
you're in a lot of pain.
158
00:07:07,934 --> 00:07:09,167
Should I call the bevy bim?
159
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,033
Okay, babe. You want me
to get the heating pad again?
160
00:07:17,033 --> 00:07:18,367
No.
161
00:07:18,367 --> 00:07:21,601
That thing burnt
all the hair off my back.
162
00:07:21,601 --> 00:07:22,767
Really?
163
00:07:22,767 --> 00:07:25,901
Maybe we should let it
take a run at your ears.
164
00:07:25,901 --> 00:07:28,367
Oh, sure, kick me
while I'm down.
165
00:07:28,367 --> 00:07:29,501
I'm just saying.
166
00:07:29,501 --> 00:07:31,501
The other day I was looking
and I was thinking,
167
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:33,801
"How can he even hear?"
168
00:07:33,801 --> 00:07:37,300
Why are you so bummed?
You've injured yourself before.
169
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:39,601
Yeah, diving for a ball,
sliding hard.
170
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:40,968
Not sneezing.
171
00:07:42,534 --> 00:07:45,534
Mm, sorry,
it was a little funny.
172
00:07:45,534 --> 00:07:48,701
Well, not to me. I'm not ready
to be a creaky old man yet.
173
00:07:48,701 --> 00:07:51,467
What's next? I slip in
the tub, I break my hip?
174
00:07:51,467 --> 00:07:53,968
Jeff, you're not old.
175
00:07:53,968 --> 00:07:56,634
Do you want me to put down some
of those rubber traction daisies
176
00:07:56,634 --> 00:07:58,901
in the tub?
No!
177
00:07:58,901 --> 00:08:00,200
Okay.
178
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,267
I really think
you're overreacting.
179
00:08:02,267 --> 00:08:03,534
Sneezing, Audrey.
180
00:08:03,534 --> 00:08:06,968
One sneeze, two guys
had to help me off the field.
181
00:08:06,968 --> 00:08:08,868
All right, at the risk
of being burned
182
00:08:08,868 --> 00:08:11,300
at the stake as a heretic,
isn't it just softball?
183
00:08:11,300 --> 00:08:14,133
No, it's not just softball.
It's a field of honor,
184
00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:17,167
where warriors face off
against each other.
185
00:08:17,167 --> 00:08:20,501
Well, I-it really
looks like softball.
186
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:23,367
Look, Audrey, playing ball makes
me feel like I'm in my prime.
187
00:08:23,367 --> 00:08:25,067
And all these younger guys
look up to me
188
00:08:25,067 --> 00:08:26,167
like I'm their hero.
189
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:28,667
Oh, sweetie,
190
00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,400
you're my hero.
191
00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,067
Thanks.
192
00:08:34,434 --> 00:08:36,934
I wish that helped
in any way at all.
193
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,367
So anyway, that's how I learned
194
00:08:45,367 --> 00:08:49,167
you never mail a letter
without a stamp.
195
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:52,367
At the beginning, I thought
that story might be interesting.
196
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,367
But I was a lot younger then.
197
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,434
Do you guys hear that?
198
00:08:56,434 --> 00:08:58,200
Hear what?
199
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,934
There's a sound
that's driving me crazy.
200
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:04,334
Was it the sound of my beard
growing during Adam's story?
201
00:09:04,334 --> 00:09:08,167
No, it's a disgusting,
202
00:09:08,167 --> 00:09:10,167
slurping, smacking noise.
203
00:09:10,167 --> 00:09:13,434
It's making me
wanna punch somebody.
204
00:09:15,033 --> 00:09:16,767
Wait, are you chewing gum?
205
00:09:23,234 --> 00:09:25,601
I-I'm sorry. I'm just
too annoyed to be here.
206
00:09:25,601 --> 00:09:26,801
I'm just gonna go home.
207
00:09:26,801 --> 00:09:28,367
Yeah, honey,
go home, just relax.
208
00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,400
Stop telling me what to do.
209
00:09:32,033 --> 00:09:33,901
Who would've thought
that your stamp story
210
00:09:33,901 --> 00:09:36,501
would've been the most pleasant
part of our meal?
211
00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:38,634
I know this is weird,
212
00:09:38,634 --> 00:09:40,567
but when she gets
all nuts like this,
213
00:09:40,567 --> 00:09:42,567
I find it kind of hot.
That is weird.
214
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,701
Maybe because you were
raised by filthy hippies.
215
00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:46,868
Hey.
Maybe it's because
216
00:09:46,868 --> 00:09:49,033
everything was so
"mellow" growing up
217
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,567
that "crazy" is so unknown
to you,
218
00:09:51,567 --> 00:09:54,200
gets you excited.
Could be. Could be.
219
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,000
All I know is
that I am hot for her,
220
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,701
but she gets so mad, there's
no way I can turn that into sex.
221
00:09:58,701 --> 00:10:00,868
Or can you?
222
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:02,200
So how do I do it?
223
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,901
How do I parlay
her anger towards me
224
00:10:03,901 --> 00:10:05,100
into sex with me?
225
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:07,234
What have you tried so far?
226
00:10:07,234 --> 00:10:09,200
Well, apologizing.
Nah.
227
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,334
Some cowering.
Uh.
228
00:10:11,334 --> 00:10:12,567
Oh, uh, a lot of hiding.
229
00:10:12,567 --> 00:10:15,834
Oh, oh, and I've been
running away a lot.
230
00:10:15,834 --> 00:10:18,467
All right, I think I'm getting
a snapshot of the situation.
231
00:10:18,467 --> 00:10:20,634
How about this.
How about you try...
232
00:10:20,634 --> 00:10:24,200
not being a little bitch.
233
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,634
That's interesting.
Yeah.
234
00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:27,300
Stand your ground,
you go right at her.
235
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:28,767
A complete 180.
Yes.
236
00:10:28,767 --> 00:10:31,434
Because, when you back off,
she cools down.
237
00:10:31,434 --> 00:10:33,968
But if you want
to bust out of Crazytown
238
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:36,434
into Hornyville,
you gotta keep her hot.
239
00:10:36,434 --> 00:10:38,434
So you're saying
if I get her mad enough,
240
00:10:38,434 --> 00:10:39,934
she'll have wild sex with me.
241
00:10:39,934 --> 00:10:42,100
That or she'll kill you.
242
00:10:46,934 --> 00:10:49,133
Oh, not mine. No.
243
00:10:56,400 --> 00:10:58,200
Hey.
Hey.
244
00:10:58,200 --> 00:10:59,601
How are you?
I'm good.
245
00:10:59,601 --> 00:11:02,601
Good, good.
Well...
246
00:11:02,601 --> 00:11:05,501
First off, I never got a chance
to say this before, but...
247
00:11:05,501 --> 00:11:07,167
Gesundheit.
248
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,901
Can I get you
something to drink?
249
00:11:09,901 --> 00:11:11,100
Yeah, I'd love a water.
250
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,868
Sure, sure. See if
you can get him to throw
251
00:11:12,868 --> 00:11:15,534
that heating pad on his ears.
252
00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:19,334
I heard that.
How?
253
00:11:21,167 --> 00:11:24,501
So, uh, this big playoff
game coming up, huh?
254
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:26,701
Yeah, we grabbed the last
spot when we won Sunday.
255
00:11:26,701 --> 00:11:31,167
After you went down, Evan filled
in and really tore it up.
256
00:11:31,167 --> 00:11:33,968
Oh, it's nice. I'm glad the kid
finally got a chance to play.
257
00:11:33,968 --> 00:11:36,667
Here you go.
Oh, that was fast.
258
00:11:36,667 --> 00:11:38,534
Like a Clydesdale.
259
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,701
Oh, Audrey, you'll enjoy this.
260
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,801
Some things the team
thought Jeff could use.
261
00:11:43,801 --> 00:11:45,367
Oh, how nice.
Yeah, yeah.
262
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:49,033
You know, denture cream,
a large print book,
263
00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:52,467
prune juice,
Matlock season two DVD.
264
00:11:52,467 --> 00:11:55,934
Joke's on you, that was actually
on his Christmas list.
265
00:11:55,934 --> 00:11:58,167
Adult diapers.
266
00:11:58,167 --> 00:12:00,200
Very funny.
Oh!
267
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:02,667
And your new team jersey...
268
00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,033
Gramps.
269
00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:07,033
That's a good one.
270
00:12:07,033 --> 00:12:09,200
Yeah. The guys thought
you'd get a kick out of this.
271
00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:11,567
Yeah, they're a good
bunch of douches.
272
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:12,934
You know what?
273
00:12:12,934 --> 00:12:14,868
Tell 'em I'll be back
for the playoffs.
274
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,334
What? No, Jeff.
275
00:12:17,334 --> 00:12:19,400
If you play, you could
hurt yourself even worse.
276
00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:22,434
Yeah, you might get the hiccups
and snap your spine.
277
00:12:23,734 --> 00:12:26,133
It's a big game.
What about the team?
278
00:12:26,133 --> 00:12:28,367
Look, no worries. We'll
have Evan fill in for you.
279
00:12:28,367 --> 00:12:29,868
Evan.
Honey,
280
00:12:29,868 --> 00:12:32,167
you don't have to play
just to prove something.
281
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:34,067
Give yourself time to heal.
282
00:12:34,067 --> 00:12:35,534
I mean, not too much time,
283
00:12:35,534 --> 00:12:38,734
'cause, you might not
have that much time left.
284
00:12:40,901 --> 00:12:42,601
Get out.
285
00:12:42,601 --> 00:12:43,801
I'll see you, buddy.
286
00:12:43,801 --> 00:12:45,501
Bye, Audrey.
Bye.
287
00:12:45,501 --> 00:12:48,667
Oh, come on, they were just
trying to cheer you up.
288
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:52,200
I'm not cheered up. I don't
need any of this old guy stuff.
289
00:12:52,200 --> 00:12:55,267
Wow.
This is easier to read.
290
00:13:03,634 --> 00:13:05,968
How do you like my tub, buddy?
You feeling any better?
291
00:13:05,968 --> 00:13:08,400
Uh, same.
292
00:13:08,400 --> 00:13:10,434
Ah.
Lucky I let you in there.
293
00:13:10,434 --> 00:13:13,767
I have a general rule,
"No dudes in the jacuzz."
294
00:13:15,334 --> 00:13:16,868
I feel special.
295
00:13:16,868 --> 00:13:18,167
And I'm no doctor,
296
00:13:18,167 --> 00:13:20,234
but I could have you
springing up and out of there
297
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:21,567
in two seconds.
Yeah? How?
298
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:23,767
By telling you what happened
in there last night.
299
00:13:23,767 --> 00:13:26,434
You are truly disgusting.
300
00:13:26,434 --> 00:13:28,767
Yeah, I heard that last night.
301
00:13:28,767 --> 00:13:31,100
Well, I'm starting
to loosen up a little.
302
00:13:31,100 --> 00:13:32,734
I heard that too.
303
00:13:32,734 --> 00:13:35,100
Did I tell you this story?
304
00:13:35,100 --> 00:13:36,968
So you get to play
in your little game, huh?
305
00:13:36,968 --> 00:13:39,601
Actually, no. I'm gonna
sit it out. I don't know.
306
00:13:39,601 --> 00:13:41,234
I may be done with it for good.
307
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:42,467
Why?
Well,
308
00:13:42,467 --> 00:13:44,868
look at me. Audrey's right.
309
00:13:44,868 --> 00:13:46,667
She said I needed
to slow down a little.
310
00:13:46,667 --> 00:13:49,033
The team's got
this new young kid, Evan,
311
00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:50,200
to take my place.
312
00:13:51,467 --> 00:13:53,100
And you're gonna let him?
313
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:54,467
What am I supposed to do?
314
00:13:54,467 --> 00:13:55,634
Fight.
315
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:56,968
That's what I'd do.
316
00:13:56,968 --> 00:13:58,334
You don't even play sports.
317
00:13:58,334 --> 00:14:01,100
Sure I do. My sport just happens
to be chasing young women.
318
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:03,434
And believe me, I've faced
my share of Evans.
319
00:14:03,434 --> 00:14:06,601
It's not a valid comparison,
I'm injured.
320
00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:09,601
Oh, please, while having sex
with women half my age,
321
00:14:09,601 --> 00:14:12,934
I've pulled muscles,
cramped up, chipped a tooth,
322
00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:15,434
even gotten a stress
fracture or two. Yeah.
323
00:14:15,434 --> 00:14:18,634
Really?
I hang with some strange women.
324
00:14:18,634 --> 00:14:20,100
But I play through the pain,
325
00:14:20,100 --> 00:14:22,868
because I'm not gonna let
some young punk come outdo me.
326
00:14:22,868 --> 00:14:25,300
Evan's a good kid,
he's not a punk.
327
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:27,234
They're all punks!
328
00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:31,467
Yeah, that's why you gotta
play like a young man
329
00:14:31,467 --> 00:14:32,701
till they cart you away.
330
00:14:32,701 --> 00:14:34,534
Maybe I should join
a senior league,
331
00:14:34,534 --> 00:14:35,701
act my age a little.
332
00:14:35,701 --> 00:14:37,834
Has acting your age
ever been fun?
333
00:14:37,834 --> 00:14:40,067
No.
Has it ever led to great stories
334
00:14:40,067 --> 00:14:41,467
you can share
with your buddies?
335
00:14:41,467 --> 00:14:44,567
No.
Has it ever gotten you into bed
336
00:14:44,567 --> 00:14:47,367
with a wannabe dancer
who's one failed audition away
337
00:14:47,367 --> 00:14:49,601
from doing soft-core?
No.
338
00:14:49,601 --> 00:14:51,300
What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna fight.
339
00:14:51,300 --> 00:14:53,300
You're gonna fight.
Gonna fight till the end.
340
00:14:53,300 --> 00:14:55,100
That's right.
And I'll start by proving
341
00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,767
that I still rule the Central
Park Sheep Meadow Athletic Field.
342
00:14:57,767 --> 00:14:59,834
Number Three weekend B-league.
Yeah.
343
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:02,701
Oh, I thought you were
wearing a bathing suit!
344
00:15:02,701 --> 00:15:06,501
Come on!
Yuck, old man junk!
345
00:15:12,334 --> 00:15:13,534
Hey. What's up?
346
00:15:13,534 --> 00:15:15,767
I was just at the, uh...
347
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:17,267
It's not your business.
348
00:15:19,033 --> 00:15:21,234
Hey, want some
of my burrito? Mm?
349
00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:22,901
Hot sauce and beans.
350
00:15:22,901 --> 00:15:24,501
Smell it.
Oh.
351
00:15:24,501 --> 00:15:25,968
Smell it.
Get that out of my face.
352
00:15:25,968 --> 00:15:27,000
What are you doing?
353
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,901
Okay, fine.
354
00:15:28,901 --> 00:15:30,667
I guess I'll just throw it out.
355
00:15:32,701 --> 00:15:36,100
Oh, no, what a mess.
356
00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,901
Clean that up.
357
00:15:37,901 --> 00:15:39,901
Eh, I'll get it later.
358
00:15:39,901 --> 00:15:41,400
What do you mean "later"?
359
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,234
Later, dude.
360
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:45,968
What the hell's
the matter with you?
361
00:15:45,968 --> 00:15:47,300
Are you trying to piss me off?
362
00:15:47,300 --> 00:15:48,734
Why would I do that?
363
00:15:48,734 --> 00:15:50,701
I'm in no mood for this, Adam.
364
00:15:50,701 --> 00:15:52,767
What are you in the mood for?
365
00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:55,133
I'm in the mood to strangle you!
Oh, yeah, there she is.
366
00:15:55,133 --> 00:15:56,267
There's my crazy lady.
367
00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:58,033
Crazy? You think
I've been acting crazy?
368
00:15:58,033 --> 00:15:59,234
You bet I do.
369
00:15:59,234 --> 00:16:01,033
Super crazy.
370
00:16:12,467 --> 00:16:14,200
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.
371
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:16,767
Shh! What are you...
What are you doing?
372
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,167
I have been acting crazy,
haven't I?
373
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:21,634
I'm so sorry.
374
00:16:21,634 --> 00:16:24,133
No, no, honey.
Look at me.
375
00:16:24,133 --> 00:16:28,234
Don't be sorry. Don't be sorry,
be crazy. Be crazy.
376
00:16:28,234 --> 00:16:30,534
Now, look... Look at...
Look at the mess in the kitchen.
377
00:16:30,534 --> 00:16:31,801
Look, there's roaches on it.
378
00:16:31,801 --> 00:16:33,601
Oh.
No.
379
00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:36,267
My emotions are
totally out of control.
380
00:16:36,267 --> 00:16:38,801
I'm just gonna go back
on the stupid pill.
381
00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:41,501
No, not yet. I didn't
break through to Hornyville.
382
00:16:42,834 --> 00:16:44,167
What?
383
00:16:44,167 --> 00:16:46,267
Uh, well, Russell said...
You talked to Russell
384
00:16:46,267 --> 00:16:47,734
about this again?
Wait, if I did,
385
00:16:47,734 --> 00:16:50,167
would that make you mad?
Yes!
386
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:53,000
Well, then yeah. Yeah, I did.
I told him everything.
387
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,934
Oh, my God,
you are such a jerk!
388
00:16:54,934 --> 00:16:57,701
Yes! I'm totally back in.
389
00:16:57,701 --> 00:16:58,934
Honey...
390
00:16:58,934 --> 00:17:02,834
Honey, hey, did you put on
a couple pounds?
391
00:17:09,534 --> 00:17:11,634
Awesome.
392
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,133
Yes!
393
00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:19,100
All right, we just need two
runs. Greg's up, Evan's on deck.
394
00:17:19,100 --> 00:17:20,367
I don't like this.
395
00:17:20,367 --> 00:17:21,834
I don't like
that Jeff might play,
396
00:17:21,834 --> 00:17:23,701
I don't like
that somehow you're involved.
397
00:17:23,701 --> 00:17:26,467
It's a guy thing,
Audrey, step aside.
398
00:17:26,467 --> 00:17:27,868
A guy thing?
399
00:17:27,868 --> 00:17:31,033
That is so lame. Women
are completely capable...
400
00:17:31,033 --> 00:17:32,868
Bevy bim!
401
00:17:32,868 --> 00:17:35,100
Damn it.
402
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:39,200
I hate that the regular girl
has mid-terms.
403
00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:42,434
Ooh! Greg!
404
00:17:42,434 --> 00:17:45,734
All right Evan, you're up.
405
00:17:45,734 --> 00:17:47,501
No, I'm going in.
406
00:17:47,501 --> 00:17:49,901
Are you sure?
It's pretty dusty out there.
407
00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:52,133
Shut up.
Sit down, kid.
408
00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:54,067
I got this.
All right!
409
00:17:54,067 --> 00:17:55,267
Jeff, come on!
410
00:17:55,267 --> 00:17:58,000
Oh, God, be careful.
Be careful!
411
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,901
That's my boy.
412
00:18:00,901 --> 00:18:02,667
All right! Come on, Jeff!
413
00:18:48,968 --> 00:18:51,167
Stop.
414
00:19:04,467 --> 00:19:06,901
Go! Go! Go!
415
00:19:33,334 --> 00:19:36,267
Gramps!
Gramps! Gramps! Gramps!
416
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,133
Woo-hoo!
417
00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:45,300
You did it!
418
00:19:45,300 --> 00:19:47,934
Yeah! My man...
419
00:19:51,834 --> 00:19:52,901
Ah!
420
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,701
So trip to Hornyville
didn't go so well, huh?
421
00:20:29,701 --> 00:20:31,567
No, she kind of kicked
the crap out of me.
422
00:20:31,567 --> 00:20:34,200
Yeah, there was no way
that was gonna work.
423
00:20:34,200 --> 00:20:36,534
Why'd you send me in there?
424
00:20:36,534 --> 00:20:38,100
Well, you've got
your stamp story.
425
00:20:38,100 --> 00:20:41,601
Now I've got my "my friend got
beat up by his fiancée" story.
426
00:20:44,267 --> 00:20:47,567
Okay, out.
The big dog's getting wet.
427
00:20:47,567 --> 00:20:49,801
Uh, that's my robe, dude.
428
00:20:49,801 --> 00:20:52,067
Yeah, you got
something full length?
429
00:20:52,067 --> 00:20:55,200
That is full length.
430
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,300
All right.
I'm done.
431
00:20:58,734 --> 00:21:01,434
Are you kidding? Does anyone
wear a swim suit in there?
30877
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