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1
00:00:02,501 --> 00:00:03,567
Hey.
2
00:00:03,567 --> 00:00:04,834
Hey.
3
00:00:04,834 --> 00:00:06,701
Remember on your birthday
how you asked me
4
00:00:06,701 --> 00:00:08,501
for something special?
5
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:11,734
Oh, my God,
you're taking me to Cancun?
6
00:00:11,734 --> 00:00:13,100
Not that birthday.
7
00:00:13,100 --> 00:00:15,634
You bought those diamond
earrings from Tiffany's?
8
00:00:15,634 --> 00:00:17,801
Not that special.
9
00:00:17,801 --> 00:00:19,667
How many birthdays
are we going back, Jeff?
10
00:00:19,667 --> 00:00:22,367
I'm no longer interested
in seeing the Go-Go's.
11
00:00:22,367 --> 00:00:24,868
That was never gonna happen.
12
00:00:24,868 --> 00:00:27,634
Well, whatever it is,
I'm sure I will love it.
13
00:00:27,634 --> 00:00:30,000
Or whatever I exchange it for.
14
00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:32,667
You're not gonna wanna
exchange this, my friend.
15
00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:34,868
Fifth row center
for a little Broadway offering
16
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,534
called Wicked.
17
00:00:36,534 --> 00:00:40,267
You're kidding.
I can't believe you remembered.
18
00:00:40,267 --> 00:00:43,167
It's been like four years.
19
00:00:43,167 --> 00:00:46,868
Great, they've probably worked
out the kinks by now.
20
00:00:46,868 --> 00:00:48,868
What made you think of this?
21
00:00:48,868 --> 00:00:51,701
I was in that neighborhood where
there's theater after theater,
22
00:00:51,701 --> 00:00:54,901
all the theaters.
What's it called down there?
23
00:00:54,901 --> 00:00:57,734
The theater district?
24
00:00:57,734 --> 00:01:00,467
No, it'll come to me.
25
00:01:00,467 --> 00:01:02,734
Anyway, I looked up,
saw the poster,
26
00:01:02,734 --> 00:01:04,000
thought of you.
27
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,067
The poster
has two witches on it.
28
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,667
You're right,
it is the theater district.
29
00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:13,234
Well, thank you honey,
this was very sweet...
30
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:15,334
wait, Jeff, there's only
one ticket in here.
31
00:01:15,334 --> 00:01:17,901
Yeah!
32
00:01:17,901 --> 00:01:20,000
I am not gonna cause
a distraction
33
00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:22,033
while you sneak
in the side door.
34
00:01:24,267 --> 00:01:26,834
I'm not going.
That's part of your gift.
35
00:01:26,834 --> 00:01:29,868
I don't want to go alone.
Yes, you do.
36
00:01:29,868 --> 00:01:31,767
I want you to go with me.
No, you don't.
37
00:01:31,767 --> 00:01:34,767
It's more fun to share
the experience with someone.
38
00:01:34,767 --> 00:01:36,934
Is it?
Well, let's examine
39
00:01:36,934 --> 00:01:40,000
the last time we shared
the theater-going experience.
40
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,734
We got to our seats...
41
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,033
You mimed killing yourself.
42
00:01:44,033 --> 00:01:45,901
Curtain went up...
43
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:48,534
You mimed killing yourself.
44
00:01:48,534 --> 00:01:53,167
Three townspeople on stage
started to sing...
45
00:01:53,167 --> 00:01:54,234
You mimed killing them,
46
00:01:54,234 --> 00:01:56,300
and then turned the gun
on yourself.
47
00:01:57,934 --> 00:02:01,734
That was before the boiler
went on the fritz.
48
00:02:01,734 --> 00:02:04,767
This is the most
thoughtful gift ever.
49
00:02:08,601 --> 00:02:12,033
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you"? ♪
50
00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:17,968
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
51
00:02:17,968 --> 00:02:20,734
♪ With you by my side ♪
52
00:02:20,734 --> 00:02:23,334
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
53
00:02:23,334 --> 00:02:25,834
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
54
00:02:31,067 --> 00:02:33,200
Shut up, Russell.
55
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:34,567
Ow.
56
00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:36,934
Hey, guys, what's going on?
57
00:02:36,934 --> 00:02:38,334
Well,
Russell's making fun of us
58
00:02:38,334 --> 00:02:40,300
because I mentioned
that Adam and I are taking
59
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:41,667
dance lessons for our wedding.
60
00:02:41,667 --> 00:02:43,100
Not you, just Adam.
61
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,634
Or should I say
"Mr. Mo-jangles."
62
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,334
There's nothing gay
63
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,567
about taking dance lessons
for your wedding.
64
00:02:50,567 --> 00:02:51,934
Yeah, we did it.
65
00:02:51,934 --> 00:02:56,234
Oh, did you, "Fred Astaire
at some guys ass?"
66
00:03:00,868 --> 00:03:04,100
What, it's funny
when it's not me.
67
00:03:04,100 --> 00:03:06,067
Well, we're starting early,
68
00:03:06,067 --> 00:03:10,934
because "we" need
all the help "we" can get.
69
00:03:10,934 --> 00:03:13,634
Good thing
you're holding your hand up
70
00:03:13,634 --> 00:03:15,334
so I don't get
my feelings hurt.
71
00:03:15,334 --> 00:03:18,834
I'm sorry. It doesn't matter
that you're a bad dancer,
72
00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:20,868
it's just another thing
we get to do together,
73
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,334
and I love doing things
with you.
74
00:03:22,334 --> 00:03:23,634
Me too.
75
00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:27,234
Don't you mean "me tutu"?
76
00:03:27,234 --> 00:03:29,501
Ballerina? No?
77
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,968
All right, I'm out.
Pay for me.
78
00:03:33,267 --> 00:03:35,067
You know, Adam,
you don't have to pretend
79
00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:36,534
to love everything she does.
80
00:03:36,534 --> 00:03:39,834
Do you get a commission every
time a couple breaks up?
81
00:03:39,834 --> 00:03:41,901
I'm just saying,
there's such a thing
82
00:03:41,901 --> 00:03:43,400
as too much togetherness.
83
00:03:43,400 --> 00:03:45,334
You see TheShining?
84
00:03:45,334 --> 00:03:48,767
You're old.
85
00:03:48,767 --> 00:03:50,934
I'm wise.
When you've been together
86
00:03:50,934 --> 00:03:52,334
as long as Audrey and I have,
87
00:03:52,334 --> 00:03:54,000
it's okay to have
separate interests.
88
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:58,033
For instance, she loves going
to the theater and I hate it.
89
00:03:58,033 --> 00:04:01,334
Hating the theater
is not an interest.
90
00:04:01,334 --> 00:04:03,367
An interest is something
you enjoy.
91
00:04:03,367 --> 00:04:05,968
I enjoy hating the theater.
92
00:04:05,968 --> 00:04:09,133
Well, there's gotta be stuff
you guys like doing together.
93
00:04:09,133 --> 00:04:13,467
Yeah. There's gotta be.
94
00:04:13,467 --> 00:04:15,901
There is.
Like the boat show.
95
00:04:15,901 --> 00:04:17,667
Which, by the way,
is in town this week.
96
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:21,067
Again? Didn't we just go
to that thing?
97
00:04:21,067 --> 00:04:23,067
A year ago.
Really?
98
00:04:23,067 --> 00:04:25,434
God, feels like
just yesterday I was thinking.
99
00:04:25,434 --> 00:04:27,000
"Boy, I'm glad
I don't have to suffer
100
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,968
through this
for another year."
101
00:04:28,968 --> 00:04:31,000
Come on,
you love the boat show.
102
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:34,200
No, I tolerate it. I only do it
'cause you like it.
103
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:38,767
Huh, first time I've heard that
outside the bedroom.
104
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:48,467
I hear the new lead is great.
105
00:04:48,467 --> 00:04:50,033
Who's the original girl
in this?
106
00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:51,400
Kristen Chenoweth.
107
00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,267
Oh.
108
00:04:53,267 --> 00:04:56,701
My husband would not have known
that in a million years.
109
00:04:58,033 --> 00:05:00,968
So where do you wanna go
get dinner after?
110
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:05,601
And one, two,
three, back, two, three.
111
00:05:05,601 --> 00:05:09,434
Down, two, three,
one, two, three.
112
00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:13,033
Come on, count.
113
00:05:13,033 --> 00:05:15,534
Oh. One, two, three, and back...
Not out loud.
114
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:18,734
Can't you think something
without actually saying it?
115
00:05:18,734 --> 00:05:20,734
Yeah, I'm doing it right now.
116
00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:23,734
No, no, no, no, no. You see,
it's forward, two, three...
117
00:05:23,734 --> 00:05:26,801
He's trying, Mr. Vargas,
he just has no sense of rhythm.
118
00:05:26,801 --> 00:05:29,234
You see, he was raised
on a commune, and...
119
00:05:29,234 --> 00:05:33,501
I don't need a bio, chica.
He's not the problem.
120
00:05:33,501 --> 00:05:35,634
I'm not?
He's not?
121
00:05:35,634 --> 00:05:37,501
No, you are.
122
00:05:37,501 --> 00:05:41,100
Tough break, chica.
123
00:05:41,100 --> 00:05:44,300
And one, two, three, down...
124
00:05:50,167 --> 00:05:51,601
Bravo!
125
00:05:51,601 --> 00:05:53,334
Bravo!
126
00:05:53,334 --> 00:05:55,601
Bravo!
127
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,167
You got me.
128
00:05:59,167 --> 00:06:00,501
You're so good.
129
00:06:03,901 --> 00:06:05,434
You know,
the first time I saw this.
130
00:06:05,434 --> 00:06:07,100
Kristen blew me away,
131
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:10,801
but this girl
she might be better.
132
00:06:10,801 --> 00:06:14,133
I mean, she really
made Glinda her own.
133
00:06:14,133 --> 00:06:15,801
Well, hello, Russell.
134
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:20,267
Oh, my God.
This isn't a strip club.
135
00:06:20,267 --> 00:06:21,767
I want my money back!
136
00:06:21,767 --> 00:06:24,133
Hey, Audrey!
137
00:06:24,133 --> 00:06:26,133
Oh, my God.
I thought this was a strip club,
138
00:06:26,133 --> 00:06:27,300
I got all turned around...
139
00:06:27,300 --> 00:06:29,667
I saw you inside.
No, you didn't.
140
00:06:29,667 --> 00:06:32,234
You were crying.
No, I wasn't.
141
00:06:32,234 --> 00:06:34,667
I took a picture.
142
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:36,334
That's good quality.
143
00:06:36,334 --> 00:06:38,801
Now, delete it!
Delete it!
144
00:06:40,367 --> 00:06:42,400
Fine.
145
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:43,901
Fine, I was in there.
146
00:06:43,901 --> 00:06:46,934
I like musicals.
Don't tell anyone.
147
00:06:46,934 --> 00:06:50,467
Mm, that you were here?
That you were sobbing?
148
00:06:50,467 --> 00:06:54,801
Or that "she really made
Glinda her own?"
149
00:06:54,801 --> 00:06:56,634
Okay, okay.
150
00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:58,501
What's it gonna take
to keep you quiet?
151
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,434
What do you got?
152
00:07:00,434 --> 00:07:03,067
I can get you great seats
to any show, any time.
153
00:07:03,067 --> 00:07:04,868
Come on.
What's your connection?
154
00:07:04,868 --> 00:07:07,834
Well, I may or may not be
the editor
155
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:12,400
of Bernadette Peters' fanzine.
156
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,167
Deal.
Okay.
157
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,033
But you do not want
to cross me on this.
158
00:07:16,033 --> 00:07:18,434
Because I swear to you
if anyone finds out,
159
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:20,834
you will rue the day that you...
160
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:23,367
Ooh, second act!
161
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:30,868
That's all you're having?
162
00:07:30,868 --> 00:07:32,701
Oh, we have
a dance lesson today
163
00:07:32,701 --> 00:07:34,501
and Mr. Vargas
doesn't like us to practice
164
00:07:34,501 --> 00:07:36,534
on a full stomach.
165
00:07:36,534 --> 00:07:39,767
Screw Mr. Vargas.
166
00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:41,734
Trouble in Danceland?
167
00:07:41,734 --> 00:07:44,801
Oh, well, it seems
that "we're" not as good
168
00:07:44,801 --> 00:07:47,334
as "we" thought "we" were.
169
00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:51,534
That joke stopped
being funny like four days ago.
170
00:07:51,534 --> 00:07:53,367
Oh, has it been four days?
171
00:07:53,367 --> 00:07:57,400
Because, you'd think that
"we'd" be better by now.
172
00:07:59,067 --> 00:08:01,033
Don't get mad, honey.
It's just a dance class.
173
00:08:01,033 --> 00:08:03,601
It's like you said, it's
something we can do together.
174
00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,267
So you snuck in late
last night.
175
00:08:08,267 --> 00:08:10,234
Oh, yeah. The show was over
three hours long.
176
00:08:10,234 --> 00:08:11,901
I didn't get home
till after midnight.
177
00:08:11,901 --> 00:08:14,434
Mr. Vargas says it's important
to get a good night's sleep.
178
00:08:14,434 --> 00:08:16,400
Oh, my God.
179
00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:19,567
It was so good, Jeff.
You would've hated it.
180
00:08:19,567 --> 00:08:21,934
See how that works?
181
00:08:21,934 --> 00:08:23,734
She goes to the theater,
182
00:08:23,734 --> 00:08:25,634
I stay home where I don't have
to hear anyone
183
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:28,267
express themself through song.
184
00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:30,601
Unless, of course,
Adam breaks out
185
00:08:30,601 --> 00:08:33,567
in a love ballad
to Mr. Vargas.
186
00:08:33,567 --> 00:08:35,968
Jealous.
187
00:08:37,367 --> 00:08:38,567
You almost finished there?
188
00:08:38,567 --> 00:08:40,267
I don't want to be late
for the boat show.
189
00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:41,567
Only the first 500 customers
190
00:08:41,567 --> 00:08:44,400
get the commemorative
refrigerator magnet.
191
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:46,801
Oh, that's today? I have
a ticket to the matinee.
192
00:08:46,801 --> 00:08:47,934
I'm going to the theater.
193
00:08:47,934 --> 00:08:51,834
Again? You're turning
into a, uh...
194
00:08:51,834 --> 00:08:54,300
what do you call those people
who always go to the theater?
195
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,400
Theater-goers.
196
00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,501
You wouldn't believe how often
we have this exact conversation.
197
00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:02,734
You always have fun when we go.
198
00:09:02,734 --> 00:09:05,200
We eat boat show junk,
use boat lingo,
199
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:08,434
I make a funny "seaman" pun.
200
00:09:08,434 --> 00:09:12,234
I quietly question
all my life choices...
201
00:09:12,234 --> 00:09:14,434
You know, I've never been
to a boat show.
202
00:09:14,434 --> 00:09:17,067
What do you do there?
203
00:09:18,501 --> 00:09:20,968
You look at boats.
204
00:09:20,968 --> 00:09:23,868
You really
didn't see that coming?
205
00:09:23,868 --> 00:09:25,400
How can you skip the boat show?
206
00:09:25,400 --> 00:09:26,868
You'll miss
all the celebrities.
207
00:09:26,868 --> 00:09:29,567
Captain Crunch
is not a celebrity.
208
00:09:30,767 --> 00:09:32,934
Oh, I'm sorry,
209
00:09:32,934 --> 00:09:35,767
what cereal box
is your face on?
210
00:09:37,534 --> 00:09:39,334
Come on, Audrey, you gotta go.
211
00:09:39,334 --> 00:09:41,300
No! Fair is fair,
Jeff.
212
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:42,868
You didn't go
to the theater with me,
213
00:09:42,868 --> 00:09:44,701
I shouldn't go
to the boat show with you.
214
00:09:44,701 --> 00:09:47,000
It's not the same thing.
It's exactly the same thing.
215
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:49,133
Boat shows are fun.
Musicals are fun.
216
00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:52,734
They would be,
if they were boat shows.
217
00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:54,133
I can't believe
I'm saying this,
218
00:09:54,133 --> 00:09:56,234
but let's get to dance class
a little early today.
219
00:09:56,234 --> 00:09:58,834
Oh, good. Mr. Vargas
likes punctuality.
220
00:09:58,834 --> 00:10:00,634
Oh, my God!
221
00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:13,434
Where you been?
Three minutes till curtain.
222
00:10:13,434 --> 00:10:15,234
I know, I'm sorry.
I had to blow Jeff off.
223
00:10:15,234 --> 00:10:16,701
It took longer than I expected.
224
00:10:16,701 --> 00:10:19,667
Well, what do you think,
the guy's not 18 anymore.
225
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:27,534
Blow him off. As in not go
to the boat show with him.
226
00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:29,267
Oh. You know, I thought...
Yeah, I know.
227
00:10:29,267 --> 00:10:31,667
Yeah, okay.
228
00:10:35,634 --> 00:10:37,133
It's a great show, huh?
229
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:40,968
Best so far. Are you in
the market for something today?
230
00:10:40,968 --> 00:10:44,400
No, I'm, uh, just looking.
231
00:10:44,400 --> 00:10:49,033
So, does this thing hold
a lot of seamen?
232
00:10:49,033 --> 00:10:52,534
Yes, 'cause that's
how you'd say it, sir.
233
00:10:54,267 --> 00:10:56,968
It's a classic.
234
00:10:56,968 --> 00:10:58,534
I know you're at your show.
235
00:10:58,534 --> 00:10:59,767
Call me at intermission.
236
00:10:59,767 --> 00:11:02,567
Something terrific
just happened.
237
00:11:02,567 --> 00:11:05,133
Jeff!
Oh. Hey, Mike!
238
00:11:05,133 --> 00:11:06,767
Hey, man.
It's good to see you.
239
00:11:06,767 --> 00:11:08,133
I was hoping you'd be here.
240
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:10,234
Wouldn't miss it. Gotta check
out the new models.
241
00:11:10,234 --> 00:11:13,133
Me too. And, uh, in my
spare time I look at the boats.
242
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:18,234
So, uh, is Ginny here?
243
00:11:18,234 --> 00:11:20,300
Oh, no. Turns out
she never liked it,
244
00:11:20,300 --> 00:11:21,834
she only came because
I made her.
245
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:24,934
Finally she just said,
"Mike, I'm done."
246
00:11:24,934 --> 00:11:27,334
Yeah, I think Audrey's boat
show days are behind her too.
247
00:11:27,334 --> 00:11:29,834
Yeah, well, Ginny wasn't just
talking about the boat show.
248
00:11:29,834 --> 00:11:32,934
She was talking about
the Mike show. She's out.
249
00:11:32,934 --> 00:11:36,601
Oh. Sorry. Wow, you guys
were married awhile.
250
00:11:36,601 --> 00:11:37,634
Twelve years.
251
00:11:37,634 --> 00:11:39,667
Same as me and Audrey.
252
00:11:39,667 --> 00:11:41,801
Yeah? Well, then you know
what I'm talking about.
253
00:11:41,801 --> 00:11:44,300
Right? You know, you...
You start to grow apart.
254
00:11:44,300 --> 00:11:46,367
You don't like
the same things anymore.
255
00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:48,167
Including each other.
256
00:11:49,901 --> 00:11:51,901
I don't know why I'm laughing.
257
00:11:51,901 --> 00:11:53,934
She took all my stuff.
258
00:11:56,234 --> 00:11:59,000
Hey, you know this is the first
theater I was ever in?
259
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,267
Really? When was that?
260
00:12:00,267 --> 00:12:04,200
Oh, ha, I must've been
seven years old.
261
00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:05,701
Oh, your parents took you?
262
00:12:05,701 --> 00:12:09,000
No, God, no. They were too busy
screaming at each other.
263
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,534
No, I had a nanny named Helga,
264
00:12:10,534 --> 00:12:14,234
who was a bigger woman.
Arms like a longshoreman.
265
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:17,901
She, uh, bundled me up,
the next thing I know we're here
266
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,367
in this whole other world
267
00:12:19,367 --> 00:12:21,501
where people are singing
and dancing and happy.
268
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:22,834
And I just loved it.
269
00:12:22,834 --> 00:12:25,267
Oh, Russell.
270
00:12:25,267 --> 00:12:28,067
Yeah, oldest story
in the book though, right?
271
00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:30,267
Except usually the guy
telling it wants to be Evita
272
00:12:30,267 --> 00:12:31,367
not bang Evita.
273
00:12:32,634 --> 00:12:33,934
It's pretty lame, right?
274
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:37,701
No, not at all. You have
nothing to be embarrassed about.
275
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:40,400
You know, Jeff cried his eyes
out at Mr. Holland's Opus.
276
00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,033
Really?
Yes.
277
00:12:42,033 --> 00:12:45,067
There's nothing unmanly
about showing your emotions.
278
00:12:45,067 --> 00:12:47,400
I mean, it's actually
very attractive to women
279
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,767
when men are sensitive.
280
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,133
Yeah, maybe you're right.
281
00:12:52,133 --> 00:12:54,234
I once got a happy ending
for pretending to cry
282
00:12:54,234 --> 00:12:56,000
at my grandmother's funeral.
283
00:12:57,501 --> 00:12:59,234
Oh, here we go.
284
00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:06,734
She and I just drifted apart.
285
00:13:06,734 --> 00:13:09,000
We navigated
into some stormy waters,
286
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,634
and set sail
for different horizons.
287
00:13:11,634 --> 00:13:16,367
Then, uh, my accountant started
dropping anchor in her harbor.
288
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:20,934
Painful, but kudos for sticking
with the nautical theme.
289
00:13:20,934 --> 00:13:23,300
Yeah, but it's better now.
290
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:26,934
You know. Nobody yapping in
my ear about the antique show
291
00:13:26,934 --> 00:13:29,400
or some dumb cooking class.
292
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:31,367
Although cooking
would come in handy.
293
00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:33,634
The pizza delivery guy's
starting to make comments.
294
00:13:33,634 --> 00:13:36,467
Like he's got a life.
295
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:38,334
So you're doing okay.
296
00:13:38,334 --> 00:13:39,968
Oh, man. I'm having a ball.
297
00:13:39,968 --> 00:13:41,801
I play golf all I want,
298
00:13:41,801 --> 00:13:44,000
I play video poker till 4 a.m.,
299
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,133
I got a two-day pass
for the boat show.
300
00:13:46,133 --> 00:13:48,300
Isn't that sweet?
Are you coming tomorrow?
301
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:49,601
No...
How about bowling,
302
00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:52,334
you like bowling?
I'm pretty much free any night.
303
00:13:52,334 --> 00:13:55,334
Or Atlantic City.
I know this great bus.
304
00:13:55,334 --> 00:13:56,868
It doesn't have
air conditioning,
305
00:13:56,868 --> 00:13:58,601
but you get $10 in quarters.
306
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,334
Last time I went,
the old woman next to me
307
00:14:01,334 --> 00:14:04,234
got heat stroke
and I got her quarters.
308
00:14:04,234 --> 00:14:07,667
I can't promise that that will
happen when you and I go...
309
00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,968
Uh-oh. Phone call.
I didn't even hear it ring.
310
00:14:09,968 --> 00:14:11,968
It's on vibrate.
But I didn't hear it go:
311
00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:19,601
Which is...
Yeah. Hello?
312
00:14:19,601 --> 00:14:23,000
Emergency? I'll be right there.
313
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:25,367
I, uh, gotta go.
It's an emergency.
314
00:14:25,367 --> 00:14:26,767
What kind of emergency?
315
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:30,467
Very bad. Lot of blood.
Real horror show.
316
00:14:30,467 --> 00:14:32,400
Can I come with?
317
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,234
Stay in the boat, Mike.
318
00:14:38,534 --> 00:14:42,534
Wow,
that was our best show so far.
319
00:14:42,534 --> 00:14:44,501
Oh, I know. I'm gonna have
to totally rethink
320
00:14:44,501 --> 00:14:46,634
my Tony predictions.
321
00:14:46,634 --> 00:14:48,801
Should we, uh,
go get some coffee?
322
00:14:48,801 --> 00:14:50,767
Uh, yeah,
let me hit the restroom.
323
00:14:50,767 --> 00:14:52,834
Damn that Sondheim
and his no intermissions.
324
00:14:55,968 --> 00:14:57,300
Oh, great. You're here.
325
00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:59,100
What are you doing here?
Everything okay?
326
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:01,234
Yeah, it's fine.
What's going on?
327
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:02,868
I just thought I'd take you
to dinner
328
00:15:02,868 --> 00:15:04,534
and you could tell me
about the singing
329
00:15:04,534 --> 00:15:07,400
and dancing you saw. And...
330
00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,834
you know, what makes
them do all that.
331
00:15:09,834 --> 00:15:12,968
All right, w-why aren't you
at the boat show?
332
00:15:12,968 --> 00:15:16,200
The truth is it wasn't
that much fun without you.
333
00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:20,000
Oh, really?
That's so sweet.
334
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:23,334
Plus I realized that if you do
too many things separately,
335
00:15:23,334 --> 00:15:25,300
you could wind up on a bus
to Atlantic City
336
00:15:25,300 --> 00:15:27,901
stealing quarters off
an old lady with heat stroke.
337
00:15:29,534 --> 00:15:31,534
Th-That makes no sense.
338
00:15:31,534 --> 00:15:34,234
Oh. See...
339
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,767
the bus isn't air conditioned.
340
00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:38,734
So, if you weren't having
a good time
341
00:15:38,734 --> 00:15:40,133
why did I get a message
that says
342
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:42,601
something terrific happened?
Yeah, that was early on.
343
00:15:42,601 --> 00:15:45,567
I, uh, scored big
with a seaman pun.
344
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,300
Anyway, from now I think
that we should make an effort
345
00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:52,868
to like the things the other
person likes.
346
00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:55,701
Okay. And, uh, who knows,
347
00:15:55,701 --> 00:15:58,534
maybe we can, uh, find something
we like doing together.
348
00:15:58,534 --> 00:16:00,968
I can think of
one or two things.
349
00:16:00,968 --> 00:16:03,400
Two?
What's the other one?
350
00:16:04,701 --> 00:16:06,067
Hey, Audrey,
I got us T-shirts.
351
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:09,534
All they had was extra large,
but I can make it work.
352
00:16:09,534 --> 00:16:11,868
This isn't a strip club.
353
00:16:11,868 --> 00:16:13,167
What's going on here?
354
00:16:13,167 --> 00:16:14,400
Russell, stop.
355
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:17,334
You knew he was...?
Did you guys come together?
356
00:16:17,334 --> 00:16:20,501
No, no, no.
357
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,467
The truth is...
358
00:16:23,467 --> 00:16:25,167
I'm nailing your wife...
359
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,234
Oh, Russell!
360
00:16:27,234 --> 00:16:28,734
Don't get mad.
361
00:16:28,734 --> 00:16:32,667
Here's the deal.
Russell and I have been coming
362
00:16:32,667 --> 00:16:34,434
to the theater
all week together.
363
00:16:34,434 --> 00:16:36,801
And it's been really wonderful
sharing that with him.
364
00:16:36,801 --> 00:16:38,334
Him?
Yes.
365
00:16:38,334 --> 00:16:41,100
He has this whole other side
366
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,601
that is cultured and kind
and sensitive,
367
00:16:44,601 --> 00:16:46,567
but he won't show it to you,
'cause he's afraid
368
00:16:46,567 --> 00:16:48,667
you'll make fun of him.
Thank you. I'm a dead man.
369
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:51,801
No. No, you are not.
370
00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:54,567
Jeff, please tell him you're
not gonna tease him.
371
00:16:54,567 --> 00:16:57,901
I'd only do that so he'd see it
coming a little bit less.
372
00:17:00,033 --> 00:17:03,133
Russell's a theater queen.
373
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:04,834
I may have to quit my job
374
00:17:04,834 --> 00:17:07,167
to focus on this full time.
375
00:17:07,167 --> 00:17:09,834
Oh, you might want to
take a break
376
00:17:09,834 --> 00:17:13,267
so you can pop in
Mr. Holland's Opus
377
00:17:13,267 --> 00:17:16,300
and cry like Betsy Wetsy.
378
00:17:16,300 --> 00:17:18,868
I only told him to show
him that...
379
00:17:18,868 --> 00:17:22,801
Just like a woman. Can't keep
anything from her girlfriends.
380
00:17:22,801 --> 00:17:24,701
Oh, boo-hoo, poor Mr. Holland,
381
00:17:24,701 --> 00:17:26,701
had to give up his dreams
and teach high school.
382
00:17:26,701 --> 00:17:29,367
Wah!
He changed those kids' lives!
383
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:30,801
He gave them the gift of music.
384
00:17:30,801 --> 00:17:32,234
So did Professor Harold Hill
385
00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,634
in The Music Man.
He changed a whole town!
386
00:17:34,634 --> 00:17:36,934
By what, prancing around
and singing a bunch of stuff
387
00:17:36,934 --> 00:17:38,033
he could've just said?
388
00:17:38,033 --> 00:17:40,133
Robert Preston did not prance.
389
00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:43,234
He marched proudly,
as he led the big parade.
390
00:17:43,234 --> 00:17:45,868
I bet I know what kind
of parade that was.
391
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:51,767
Oh, I'm Mr. Holland,
I gave up all my dreams!
392
00:17:53,067 --> 00:17:55,968
Good.
393
00:17:55,968 --> 00:17:58,501
Excellent.
394
00:17:58,501 --> 00:18:00,934
Ah, no, no, no.
395
00:18:00,934 --> 00:18:02,501
What? What? Okay!
396
00:18:02,501 --> 00:18:03,734
It's just a stupid dance!
397
00:18:03,734 --> 00:18:06,400
What is it
that I'm doing so wrong?
398
00:18:07,601 --> 00:18:10,434
Sh-She ate like 80 fries
at lunch today.
399
00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:13,133
All right, let's try it again.
400
00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:14,267
Jennifer?
401
00:18:16,100 --> 00:18:17,334
You just watch.
402
00:18:23,501 --> 00:18:25,100
Wah!
403
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:27,968
I need another hankie,
I'm Mr. Holland's Doofus.
404
00:18:27,968 --> 00:18:31,801
Hi, I'd like one
on the aisle for Oklahomo.
405
00:18:31,801 --> 00:18:35,934
Shut up! You guys have been
doing this for, like, 11 blocks.
406
00:18:35,934 --> 00:18:39,567
For one brief shining moment,
I had theater buddy Russell
407
00:18:39,567 --> 00:18:40,968
and sweet husband Jeff.
408
00:18:40,968 --> 00:18:42,567
And then just like that,
it's back to.
409
00:18:42,567 --> 00:18:44,968
"You have feelings,"
"You like things,"
410
00:18:44,968 --> 00:18:46,367
"You're gay,"
"No, you're gay."
411
00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:47,534
What are you guys, eight?
412
00:18:49,601 --> 00:18:52,434
He is.
You are.
413
00:18:52,434 --> 00:18:54,434
Shut up! Why are
all male friendships
414
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:56,434
based on insulting
each other? Huh?
415
00:18:56,434 --> 00:18:58,834
I think it's very sad
that you go through life
416
00:18:58,834 --> 00:19:02,067
just looking for ways
to cut each other down.
417
00:19:03,434 --> 00:19:05,767
Well, maybe she's right.
418
00:19:05,767 --> 00:19:08,267
We do waste a lot of time
ragging on each other.
419
00:19:08,267 --> 00:19:10,701
I guess it wouldn't kill us
to grow up a little.
420
00:19:10,701 --> 00:19:12,667
I guess not.
421
00:19:17,334 --> 00:19:18,534
That's Adam.
422
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,501
Dancing with a dude.
423
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:25,234
No way!
424
00:19:26,968 --> 00:19:28,367
Oh, this is too good.
425
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:30,601
Let's get him.
Yeah.
426
00:19:45,934 --> 00:19:48,234
Very impressive choice
for your comeback.
427
00:19:48,234 --> 00:19:50,133
This musical is three
and a half hours long.
428
00:19:50,133 --> 00:19:52,467
Just more time I get to spend
with the woman I love.
429
00:19:52,467 --> 00:19:54,634
Jeff?
430
00:19:54,634 --> 00:19:57,834
Holy smokes, what are the odds?
431
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,300
Hey, are you a single?
432
00:19:59,300 --> 00:20:00,801
Yes.
I'm third row center.
433
00:20:00,801 --> 00:20:02,634
Can we swap so I can sit next
to my friend?
434
00:20:02,634 --> 00:20:05,234
Sure.
Thank you, heh, heh.
435
00:20:05,234 --> 00:20:08,000
Hey, there!
This is great.
436
00:20:09,300 --> 00:20:12,634
Well, pretty lady. So you guys
are still together, huh?
437
00:20:12,634 --> 00:20:14,601
All right.
438
00:20:14,601 --> 00:20:16,434
Hey, you wanna grab
a bite after?
439
00:20:16,434 --> 00:20:19,367
It's on me, I cleaned up
in Atlantic City.
440
00:20:21,367 --> 00:20:23,067
Is your weekend booked?
441
00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:25,667
Because we have got
a sweet foosball table
442
00:20:25,667 --> 00:20:27,367
at the rec room at my complex.
443
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:30,868
The teenagers usually hog it,
but sometimes you get lucky.
444
00:20:30,868 --> 00:20:33,501
If not, we can hit the jacooz,
445
00:20:33,501 --> 00:20:34,767
get our soak on!
446
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,400
You're not supposed
to go in naked,
447
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,734
but I probably will. Heh.
448
00:20:37,734 --> 00:20:40,868
I don't like to get urine
on my shorts.
32980
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