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1
00:00:05,868 --> 00:00:07,033
Hey, guys.
What's up?
2
00:00:07,033 --> 00:00:08,634
Hey, honey,
just talking about work.
3
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:09,801
He's talking
about work.
4
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,467
I'm singing "Safety Dance"
in my head,
5
00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:12,567
and I really wish I wasn't.
6
00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,501
Hey, you know those
new condos I told you about?
7
00:00:17,501 --> 00:00:19,067
Mm-hm.
They finally broke ground.
8
00:00:19,067 --> 00:00:22,334
Yeah, now we need someone
to design the sales brochure.
9
00:00:22,334 --> 00:00:24,334
Oh, perfect.
Now it's "Kokomo."
10
00:00:26,100 --> 00:00:28,000
Hey, hey. I just
had a great idea.
11
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:30,267
Five bucks says
it isn't great.
12
00:00:30,267 --> 00:00:32,267
Well, let's have Jen
do the brochure.
13
00:00:32,267 --> 00:00:33,434
Ha-ha! I win.
14
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,934
Oh, come on, man.
15
00:00:35,934 --> 00:00:38,434
She designs this sort of thing
all the time. She's good.
16
00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:39,934
Look, this is
an important client.
17
00:00:39,934 --> 00:00:42,434
We can't just throw the job
to some chick you're nailing.
18
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:45,567
I'm his fianc๏ฟฝe.
19
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,667
And how does that contradict
what I just said?
20
00:00:48,667 --> 00:00:51,200
I'm sorry, but this is not
how people are hired
21
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:53,200
in a professional business.
22
00:00:53,200 --> 00:00:55,467
You hired an architect because
she had a tongue ring.
23
00:00:55,467 --> 00:00:58,501
No, no. Hired that girl
'cause she had big cans.
24
00:00:58,501 --> 00:01:01,133
The, uh, tongue ring
was a filthy little bonus.
25
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,067
Now listen. I'm doing
you guys a favor.
26
00:01:04,067 --> 00:01:05,467
I'm protecting you.
27
00:01:05,467 --> 00:01:07,868
Couples should not work
together. It always ends badly.
28
00:01:07,868 --> 00:01:10,133
Not always.
Oh, really?
29
00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:11,601
Every girl
I've ever dated at work
30
00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:13,200
wound up getting fired.
31
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:17,267
Now these poor things were
forced to live on their large...
32
00:01:17,267 --> 00:01:19,767
harassment settlements.
33
00:01:19,767 --> 00:01:21,634
Well, that's not
gonna happen to us.
34
00:01:21,634 --> 00:01:23,767
No. We'll just
separate home and work.
35
00:01:23,767 --> 00:01:26,400
Yeah, we'll have Work Adam
and Work Jen,
36
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:27,801
and Home Adam
and Home Jen.
37
00:01:27,801 --> 00:01:28,834
Yeah, that'll be great.
38
00:01:28,834 --> 00:01:30,901
See? There you go.
Problem solved.
39
00:01:30,901 --> 00:01:32,834
Fine, I'll give it a shot.
40
00:01:32,834 --> 00:01:34,567
I'd love to be proven wrong.
41
00:01:34,567 --> 00:01:36,300
Like I was by seven juries.
42
00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:40,067
Ah. Hey, hey.
43
00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:43,067
Oh, the version of you guys that
still has hope is over there.
44
00:01:44,133 --> 00:01:45,167
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey.
45
00:01:45,167 --> 00:01:46,167
Hey, guys.
Hey.
46
00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:47,534
Guess what?
47
00:01:47,534 --> 00:01:49,801
Adam just got me some freelance
work for his company.
48
00:01:49,801 --> 00:01:52,133
Congratulations.
You're gonna work together?
49
00:01:52,133 --> 00:01:53,567
Good plan.
50
00:01:55,234 --> 00:01:57,434
Ah! Damn it.
51
00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:58,467
What's wrong?
52
00:01:58,467 --> 00:02:00,033
Hurt my shoulder
playing softball.
53
00:02:00,033 --> 00:02:01,534
Hm. How'd it happen?
Funny story.
54
00:02:01,534 --> 00:02:03,367
It's not. It's not funny.
55
00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:09,968
In Ancient Rome,
women took pride
56
00:02:09,968 --> 00:02:12,701
in their husbands' achievements
on the battlefield.
57
00:02:12,701 --> 00:02:15,200
In Ancient Rome, their husbands
didn't injure themselves
58
00:02:15,200 --> 00:02:16,901
tripping over the pony keg
at third base.
59
00:02:18,067 --> 00:02:20,968
Thanks for blowing
the end of my story.
60
00:02:20,968 --> 00:02:23,367
Anyway, soaked my shoulder
in the hot tub at the gym,
61
00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:24,367
but it's still sore.
62
00:02:24,367 --> 00:02:25,501
Hot tub?
63
00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:27,734
Jeff, you know those are
bad for your sperm.
64
00:02:30,501 --> 00:02:32,868
Nice mealtime topic,
Audrey.
65
00:02:32,868 --> 00:02:35,367
Yeah, Audrey,
it's kind of gross.
66
00:02:35,367 --> 00:02:36,767
So, what's up
with your sperm?
67
00:02:39,334 --> 00:02:41,501
I think you're making
Jennifer uncomfortable.
68
00:02:41,501 --> 00:02:42,968
Well, what's going on
down there?
69
00:02:42,968 --> 00:02:45,834
I mean, are your guys weak,
or is it failure to launch?
70
00:02:47,267 --> 00:02:48,734
I don't want to talk
about my junk.
71
00:02:48,734 --> 00:02:51,501
Jeez. It's not a big deal.
They're our friends.
72
00:02:51,501 --> 00:02:53,067
We had a fertility test
a while back,
73
00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:54,567
and Jeff's boys
were a little slow.
74
00:02:55,801 --> 00:02:57,934
I didn't even know
you guys were trying.
75
00:02:57,934 --> 00:02:59,968
Well, we're trying
to be trying.
76
00:02:59,968 --> 00:03:02,067
The doctor gave Jeff a list
of things he should do,
77
00:03:02,067 --> 00:03:04,634
like wearing loose underwear
and taking supplements,
78
00:03:04,634 --> 00:03:06,467
and staying out
of hot tubs.
79
00:03:06,467 --> 00:03:08,000
Yeah, I've been doing
most of that.
80
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,601
I just fell off the wagon
a little bit.
81
00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,400
What's "a little bit"?
82
00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,467
I may have forgotten to
refill the supplements,
83
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:16,534
and when I play softball,
I wear tighty-whities.
Oh.
84
00:03:16,534 --> 00:03:18,334
Are you kidding?
I tried wearing boxers,
85
00:03:18,334 --> 00:03:19,534
but when I ran,
it felt like
86
00:03:19,534 --> 00:03:21,534
someone was shooting dice
in my pants.
87
00:03:23,968 --> 00:03:25,534
You're getting
retested this week.
88
00:03:25,534 --> 00:03:26,934
Don't you want
to be at your best?
89
00:03:26,934 --> 00:03:29,033
Yes, that's why
I switched to briefs.
90
00:03:29,033 --> 00:03:31,000
I didn't want my guys
all dazed and punchy
91
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,234
from the beating
they were taking down there.
92
00:03:33,234 --> 00:03:35,300
Hey, does that affect
your fertility?
93
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:38,067
Because one time, when I was 12,
I jumped off this diving board
94
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:40,234
and landed right on my--
Adam.
95
00:03:40,234 --> 00:03:43,067
What? I was gonna
say pool toys.
96
00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:44,901
Man, did that
hurt my balls.
97
00:04:12,033 --> 00:04:13,701
Hey, what's up?
Hey.
98
00:04:13,701 --> 00:04:15,400
Hey, did you rearrange
your furniture?
99
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,334
Oh, yeah. I "porn shuied"
the whole office.
100
00:04:18,767 --> 00:04:19,767
You what?
101
00:04:19,767 --> 00:04:20,968
I "porn shuied" it.
102
00:04:20,968 --> 00:04:22,734
That's when you rearrange
the furniture
103
00:04:22,734 --> 00:04:24,968
so no one can see what's
on your computer screen.
104
00:04:24,968 --> 00:04:27,367
"Porn shuied?"
Yeah, I invented it.
105
00:04:28,601 --> 00:04:30,634
You are a very deep guy.
106
00:04:30,634 --> 00:04:32,267
And yet I don't mean to be.
107
00:04:33,601 --> 00:04:35,234
Boy, imagine how
successful you'd be
108
00:04:35,234 --> 00:04:38,567
if you focused more on work
and less on porn.
109
00:04:38,567 --> 00:04:40,467
Yeah. We'll have to
imagine that.
110
00:04:40,467 --> 00:04:43,734
Anyway, there should be
no spot in this room
111
00:04:43,734 --> 00:04:45,968
where people can...
see what I'm doing.
112
00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:48,567
So here, you be me.
Sit down for a second
113
00:04:48,567 --> 00:04:50,400
and let me test this.
114
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:51,834
All right.
115
00:04:51,834 --> 00:04:53,467
Oh, God.
116
00:04:53,467 --> 00:04:54,634
Oh, grow up.
117
00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:59,701
All right, I can't see
the screen. Good.
118
00:05:01,734 --> 00:05:03,667
I can't see your hands,
119
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:06,167
which is important
for long meetings.
120
00:05:08,133 --> 00:05:09,567
Oh, crap.
121
00:05:09,567 --> 00:05:11,501
What?
There's a reflection
122
00:05:11,501 --> 00:05:15,100
in that picture, and I'm
getting a hint of an orgy.
123
00:05:15,100 --> 00:05:17,701
All right. Help me take
this picture down.
124
00:05:20,033 --> 00:05:21,534
Here, that's not
going anywhere.
125
00:05:21,534 --> 00:05:22,834
Help me take
the picture down.
126
00:05:29,367 --> 00:05:30,834
Hi.
Oh, hey. What's up?
127
00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:32,067
Well, I know
you and Jeff
128
00:05:32,067 --> 00:05:34,067
aren't having any luck
getting pregnant,
129
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:35,267
so I brought you
something.
130
00:05:35,267 --> 00:05:37,033
Oh, God.
131
00:05:37,033 --> 00:05:39,801
Tell me there isn't
a baby in that bag.
132
00:05:39,801 --> 00:05:40,901
Heck no.
133
00:05:40,901 --> 00:05:42,501
I brought you...
134
00:05:42,501 --> 00:05:43,801
this.
135
00:05:46,801 --> 00:05:47,801
Well, I feel bad.
136
00:05:47,801 --> 00:05:49,367
I didn't get you anything ugly
137
00:05:49,367 --> 00:05:52,200
and...slightly offensive.
138
00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:53,434
No, it's a fertility
idol.
139
00:05:53,434 --> 00:05:54,834
It's been in my family
for years,
140
00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:55,901
and everyone
who gets it
141
00:05:55,901 --> 00:05:57,133
ends up pregnant.
142
00:05:57,133 --> 00:05:59,367
Oh, honey,
that's really sweet,
143
00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:01,300
but I don't really
believe in that stuff.
144
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:03,033
Oh. I know
it sounds crazy,
145
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:04,901
but 10 years ago, a doctor
told my cousin
146
00:06:04,901 --> 00:06:06,267
she couldn't
have kids.
147
00:06:06,267 --> 00:06:07,901
She got this
and two months later,
148
00:06:07,901 --> 00:06:09,300
pregnant with
twin boys.
149
00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:10,567
Really?
Yeah.
150
00:06:10,567 --> 00:06:11,968
Her husband was pissed
151
00:06:11,968 --> 00:06:13,868
'cause he'd been out of
town for six months,
152
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:15,367
but that's not
the idol's fault.
153
00:06:17,601 --> 00:06:19,701
Okay. I mean,
I guess it can't hurt.
154
00:06:19,701 --> 00:06:22,634
Unless I sit on it.
155
00:06:22,634 --> 00:06:24,467
It's so exciting
that you guys are trying.
156
00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:25,801
I'm so happy for you.
157
00:06:25,801 --> 00:06:27,601
Yeah. That makes two of us.
158
00:06:27,601 --> 00:06:29,400
Why? You think
Jeff's not?
159
00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:32,067
Come on, you heard him.
The hot tub, the underwear.
160
00:06:32,067 --> 00:06:35,133
Plus, he's missed his last two
appointments to get retested.
161
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,667
I don't know. I think he's lost
interest in having a kid.
162
00:06:37,667 --> 00:06:39,234
So talk to him.
163
00:06:39,234 --> 00:06:42,200
Talk to Jeff about his emotions
and how he feels?
164
00:06:43,434 --> 00:06:45,901
Yeah, it would be like trying
to get turnip juice
165
00:06:45,901 --> 00:06:48,067
from a monkey's head.
166
00:06:48,067 --> 00:06:49,534
What?
167
00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:50,701
It's a saying.
168
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:53,267
No. It isn't.
169
00:06:53,267 --> 00:06:55,434
Anyway, you were talking
about Jeff.
170
00:06:55,434 --> 00:06:57,267
I just-- I've learned
I can't force him
171
00:06:57,267 --> 00:06:58,534
to talk about
his feelings.
172
00:06:58,534 --> 00:06:59,901
I have to wait
till he's ready.
173
00:06:59,901 --> 00:07:02,200
Usually, the signal is when
he says something like,
174
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:04,467
"Hey, Aud, I've
been thinking...
175
00:07:04,467 --> 00:07:06,901
Ah, forget it."
176
00:07:06,901 --> 00:07:08,200
I'm hearing
John Wayne.
177
00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:09,734
Yeah, it's a fine line.
178
00:07:11,300 --> 00:07:13,300
Hello, ladies.
179
00:07:13,300 --> 00:07:14,634
That's just scary.
180
00:07:16,501 --> 00:07:18,133
Hey.
181
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,434
This one of
those things
182
00:07:19,434 --> 00:07:21,300
that's supposed to tie
a room all together?
183
00:07:23,534 --> 00:07:25,067
No. Heh-heh.
184
00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:26,968
It's a fertility
idol.
185
00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,701
Jen says everyone
who's ever gotten it
186
00:07:28,701 --> 00:07:29,801
has gotten pregnant.
187
00:07:29,801 --> 00:07:32,000
Which is what
we both want, right?
188
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,100
Sure.
189
00:07:33,100 --> 00:07:34,634
Now that we're
resorting to magic,
190
00:07:34,634 --> 00:07:36,133
why don't I have
David Copperfield
191
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:38,501
wave his hands
over my crotch?
192
00:07:38,501 --> 00:07:40,300
You know, I know
it's silly,
193
00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,767
but at least I'm
making an effort.
194
00:07:41,767 --> 00:07:44,634
Hey, I'm making an effort
not to laugh at that thing.
195
00:07:44,634 --> 00:07:47,834
It's no stupider than
your magic softball glove.
196
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,200
Audrey, the glove
is not magic.
197
00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:53,033
I am magic when
I'm wearing the glove.
198
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,801
What are you doing
in my office?
199
00:08:05,801 --> 00:08:07,534
Uh, just checking
some e-mail.
200
00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:08,968
My computer crashed.
201
00:08:08,968 --> 00:08:10,968
Oh. How much porn
did you download?
202
00:08:12,767 --> 00:08:14,033
All of it.
203
00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:17,133
Oh, crap. There's
Jennifer.
204
00:08:17,133 --> 00:08:18,901
Better get this porn
off your computer.
205
00:08:18,901 --> 00:08:20,467
I thought you were
checking e-mail.
206
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:21,834
Don't be stupid.
207
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,701
Surprise.
- Hey.
208
00:08:23,701 --> 00:08:24,834
What are you doing here?
209
00:08:24,834 --> 00:08:26,501
Thought I'd show you
what I came up with
210
00:08:26,501 --> 00:08:28,567
for the brochures so you could
give me feedback.
211
00:08:28,567 --> 00:08:30,901
Oh, uh...well, I got
a meeting in five minutes,
212
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,467
but I guess I could
take a quick look.
213
00:08:32,467 --> 00:08:35,734
Uh...why don't you guys
do this at home?
214
00:08:35,734 --> 00:08:38,367
Because this is a Work Adam
and Work Jennifer thing,
215
00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:40,567
not a Home Adam
and Home Jennifer thing.
216
00:08:40,567 --> 00:08:42,634
Ai, ai, ai.
I hate all four of you.
217
00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:45,667
Now, if you'll excuse me,
218
00:08:45,667 --> 00:08:47,567
I have to go download
some, uh...
219
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:50,801
Oh, I don't know
what I'm gonna do now.
220
00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:53,968
All right.
What do you got?
221
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:56,567
Well, I think you are
really gonna like this.
222
00:08:56,567 --> 00:08:59,234
So I wanted to do
something exciting.
223
00:08:59,234 --> 00:09:01,501
Something that would really
set these condos apart.
224
00:09:01,501 --> 00:09:03,934
Mm-hm. Yeah.
225
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,734
Yeah, yeah. I see where
you're going here,
226
00:09:05,734 --> 00:09:08,067
but...I'm just not
sure about it.
227
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:10,501
What are you not sure about?
The colors.
228
00:09:10,501 --> 00:09:13,400
I-- I think they're too loud
for the client's image.
229
00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:15,868
Well, maybe these colors
could update their image.
230
00:09:15,868 --> 00:09:18,133
I don't think the clients
want to update their image,
231
00:09:18,133 --> 00:09:20,934
so I think you're gonna have to
just tone all this down a bit.
232
00:09:20,934 --> 00:09:22,868
I don't want to
make it boring.
233
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:24,934
Heh. Jen, we're not trying to
sell the brochure.
234
00:09:24,934 --> 00:09:26,834
The brochure is supposed
to sell the condos.
235
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,100
The brochure is just a tool.
236
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:31,267
I get it.
237
00:09:31,267 --> 00:09:32,434
A tool.
238
00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:36,501
This is fun, us working
together, huh?
239
00:09:36,501 --> 00:09:38,868
Super fun.
240
00:09:38,868 --> 00:09:41,067
Dude, dude, dude. I need
to use your computer.
241
00:09:41,067 --> 00:09:42,567
My friend in Hong Kong
just called.
242
00:09:42,567 --> 00:09:44,701
He said there's some new stuff
going up right now.
243
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,567
Oh, dude, that's rough.
244
00:09:50,100 --> 00:09:51,501
What else you got?
245
00:09:53,334 --> 00:09:55,868
Jeff, come on. You don't
want to be late for the doctor.
246
00:09:55,868 --> 00:09:57,968
Well, I'm just having
second thoughts.
247
00:09:57,968 --> 00:10:00,501
Really?
248
00:10:00,501 --> 00:10:01,968
Something you want to
talk about?
249
00:10:01,968 --> 00:10:04,534
Yeah, I guess.
Uh, for my fertility test,
250
00:10:04,534 --> 00:10:08,601
I was gonna go with
the '84 Vanessa Williams.
251
00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,534
I'm thinking '78 Bo Derek.
252
00:10:12,334 --> 00:10:13,601
What does it matter,
babe?
253
00:10:13,601 --> 00:10:15,534
It's gonna be over
in five minutes anyway.
254
00:10:15,534 --> 00:10:18,067
Babe, it's not about
the destination.
255
00:10:18,067 --> 00:10:20,400
It's about the journey.
256
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:22,300
Come on. Let's go.
257
00:10:22,300 --> 00:10:24,601
You know, I have a really
good feeling about this test.
258
00:10:24,601 --> 00:10:26,000
How about you?
259
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,234
Yeah. I think it's gonna
go better than the others.
260
00:10:28,234 --> 00:10:29,300
It's gonna be great.
261
00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:30,467
Really?
Yeah.
262
00:10:30,467 --> 00:10:32,834
'Cause now I got
"Porn-occhio" over here.
263
00:10:32,834 --> 00:10:33,968
Let's go.
264
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,400
I was gonna rub him
for good luck,
265
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:37,033
but looks like somebody
beat me to it.
266
00:10:44,901 --> 00:10:47,100
Hey, Home Jen. Hm.
267
00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:50,501
I think I owe you
an apology.
268
00:10:50,501 --> 00:10:52,534
Oh, yeah?
269
00:10:52,534 --> 00:10:55,701
Yeah. Yeah. Because today,
this sexy graphic designer
270
00:10:55,701 --> 00:10:59,167
came to my office, and I was
totally checking her out.
271
00:10:59,167 --> 00:11:01,367
Oh.
272
00:11:01,367 --> 00:11:02,634
Ha-ha-ha.
273
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,000
I was talking about you,
you know.
274
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,634
Yeah, I got it.
275
00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:09,701
Anyway, I'm glad
you had a nice day,
276
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:11,234
'cause my day
kind of sucked.
277
00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:13,400
What? Why?
278
00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,067
Well, it turns out my new boss
is kind of an assface.
279
00:11:18,834 --> 00:11:19,934
Wait, that's me.
280
00:11:21,067 --> 00:11:22,167
What'd I do?
281
00:11:22,167 --> 00:11:24,033
Oh, no, no.
This isn't about you.
282
00:11:24,033 --> 00:11:26,000
This is about Work Adam.
283
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,734
A-- All right.
What did he do?
284
00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:30,334
Well, I stayed up all night
designing these great brochures,
285
00:11:30,334 --> 00:11:33,067
and he didn't say anything
nice. He just insulted me.
286
00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:35,334
I did not. I w-- I was just
running late to a meeting--
287
00:11:35,334 --> 00:11:37,868
No, no, no, no.
This is about Jerk Adam.
288
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,367
Oh. I'm sorry.
I meant Work Adam.
289
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,501
Oh, okay. Let me
tell you about my day.
290
00:11:42,501 --> 00:11:44,868
This freelancer came into
my office with these designs
291
00:11:44,868 --> 00:11:46,467
that I knew the client
wouldn't like.
292
00:11:46,467 --> 00:11:47,734
And I tried to help her--
293
00:11:47,734 --> 00:11:49,200
Oh. You call that help?
Oh, hey.
294
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,367
You don't know.
You weren't there.
295
00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,300
Well, Work Jen told me.
296
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:56,968
Did she also tell you she can't
take constructive criticism?
297
00:11:56,968 --> 00:11:59,367
Well, maybe that's because
she has personal problems.
298
00:11:59,367 --> 00:12:01,567
She's probably engaged
to some assface.
299
00:12:04,801 --> 00:12:06,701
Why are the results
taking so long?
300
00:12:06,701 --> 00:12:09,267
Well, it has to be the doctor's
fault, because me?
301
00:12:10,634 --> 00:12:13,567
I crushed my old record
in there.
302
00:12:13,567 --> 00:12:14,868
That's great, babe.
303
00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:17,067
Shouldn't you be more concerned
about the results?
304
00:12:17,067 --> 00:12:19,234
Of course, and I am.
305
00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:20,868
That's good.
Yeah.
306
00:12:20,868 --> 00:12:23,834
It's just that lately
I've been thinking...
307
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:26,801
Ah, forget it.
No. No, no, no.
308
00:12:26,801 --> 00:12:28,400
What? Tell me.
309
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:31,267
Well, look, it's
just that...
310
00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:34,267
lately I've been
feeling...
311
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:35,968
Whoa. Chocolate
Kisses.
312
00:12:38,234 --> 00:12:39,734
Sorry I'm late.
313
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:42,567
Oh, by the way,
doc.
314
00:12:42,567 --> 00:12:46,601
Thanks for suggesting
the Vanessa/Bo tag-team combo.
315
00:12:47,601 --> 00:12:48,868
That was a no-brainer.
316
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:53,100
You're all the same,
aren't you?
317
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:54,767
Hm?
318
00:12:57,567 --> 00:12:59,133
Anyway, I, uh...
319
00:12:59,133 --> 00:13:00,834
wanted to double-check
your results
320
00:13:00,834 --> 00:13:02,200
to be sure.
321
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,334
Is everything okay?
322
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:07,133
Well, I don't know
quite how to say this,
323
00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:10,834
but...well, it appears
that you've got...
324
00:13:10,834 --> 00:13:12,501
Super sperm.
325
00:13:15,100 --> 00:13:17,467
And the doctor actually
used those words?
326
00:13:17,467 --> 00:13:18,667
Yes, he did.
327
00:13:18,667 --> 00:13:20,434
It's like a koi pond
down there.
328
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,901
Waitress, can you cancel
my fish and chips, please?
329
00:13:27,167 --> 00:13:28,601
I thought your boys
were slow.
330
00:13:28,601 --> 00:13:33,267
Turns out they were just
mild-mannered, like Clark Kent.
331
00:13:33,267 --> 00:13:34,567
Jeez, what happened
to the guy
332
00:13:34,567 --> 00:13:36,567
who didn't want to
talk about his junk?
333
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:38,934
This guy's been replaced
by this guy.
334
00:13:40,267 --> 00:13:41,701
I've got
super sperm.
335
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:46,567
Yeah. Well, that about kills
the whole menu for me.
336
00:13:46,567 --> 00:13:48,834
Well, I guess you don't
have to worry about the hot tub
337
00:13:48,834 --> 00:13:50,934
and all that other stuff.
I guess not.
338
00:13:50,934 --> 00:13:54,634
Who knows? Maybe that fertility
idol had some mojo after all.
339
00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:56,534
You know, that's where
we're different.
340
00:13:56,534 --> 00:13:59,667
In my bedroom, I have
an anti-fertility idol.
341
00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:03,767
Yeah, it's called
your face.
342
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:08,767
Anyway. Thank Jen
for me.
343
00:14:08,767 --> 00:14:11,501
Oh. Yeah, well, Jen and I
aren't really talking.
344
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:14,501
Uh, we're kind of fighting
about working together.
345
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:18,400
Oh. W-well, wait
a second now. No way.
346
00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:20,767
Who could've seen
that coming?
347
00:14:20,767 --> 00:14:25,100
Oh, I don't know: anyone who's
lived anywhere ever.
348
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,100
Well, you know, Jen gets
criticism all the time
349
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,767
about her work,
and she's fine, right?
350
00:14:28,767 --> 00:14:31,501
I make a few little comments,
and she calls me an assface.
351
00:14:32,801 --> 00:14:34,634
You kind of are.
352
00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,734
Look, it's a common
rookie mistake.
353
00:14:38,734 --> 00:14:40,400
About 10 years ago,
I brought Audrey on
354
00:14:40,400 --> 00:14:42,000
as my assistant
for a month.
355
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,167
Or, as it turned out,
356
00:14:43,167 --> 00:14:45,667
the longest day and a half
of my life.
357
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:47,734
Just a day and a half?
358
00:14:47,734 --> 00:14:51,200
Figured it was either lose
a secretary or lose a wife.
359
00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,767
Kicking yourself for blowing
that call, aren't you, buddy?
360
00:14:55,734 --> 00:14:57,801
I might get something
after all.
361
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,100
I'm just saying, sometimes
it's best to cut your losses.
362
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:03,767
Hey, thanks for
the advice.
363
00:15:03,767 --> 00:15:06,434
Don't thank me.
It's my duty to help.
364
00:15:06,434 --> 00:15:08,200
With great power...
365
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:12,667
comes great responsibility.
366
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:21,267
Hey. There's my man.
Yes.
367
00:15:22,334 --> 00:15:23,467
I thought we were gonna
368
00:15:23,467 --> 00:15:25,167
go to bed early tonight.
Where you been?
369
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,501
Ah, I just got talking
to Phil down the hall there.
370
00:15:27,501 --> 00:15:29,734
About your test results?
Of course.
371
00:15:29,734 --> 00:15:32,033
Jeff, you told everyone
in the doctor's waiting room,
372
00:15:32,033 --> 00:15:34,234
our cab driver,
the doorman...
373
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:36,968
Bill Krawski in 7B.
374
00:15:36,968 --> 00:15:39,667
Since when do you know the names
of other people in the building?
375
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,067
Since I found out
that I have--
376
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:43,300
No. God, please don't
say it again, please.
377
00:15:43,300 --> 00:15:45,868
Super sperm.
378
00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,167
You've had your fun,
you've bragged about it.
379
00:15:49,167 --> 00:15:51,234
Now it's time to put
those boys to work.
380
00:15:51,234 --> 00:15:53,000
All right.
381
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,300
You da man.
382
00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,534
All right, you know what?
I gotta take this.
383
00:15:59,534 --> 00:16:02,033
Yeah. It's important.
384
00:16:02,033 --> 00:16:05,267
Jimmer, thanks for getting back
to me so quickly.
385
00:16:05,267 --> 00:16:07,400
Jimmer?
That's important?
386
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:10,801
Guess what part of me is
faster than a speeding bullet?
387
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,901
Come on, Jeff.
We--
388
00:16:13,901 --> 00:16:15,734
No. No.
389
00:16:15,734 --> 00:16:17,200
Bingo.
390
00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:31,400
Oh. Hey, honey.
391
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:32,834
Hey. I think I've
got a solution
392
00:16:32,834 --> 00:16:35,367
that will fix everything
and make us both happy.
393
00:16:35,367 --> 00:16:37,000
Really? What is it?
394
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,033
You're fired.
395
00:16:39,033 --> 00:16:40,033
What?
396
00:16:40,033 --> 00:16:41,501
You're fired.
397
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:42,767
Huh?
398
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:44,834
Seriously, that's
your solution?
399
00:16:44,834 --> 00:16:47,334
Working together was bad.
We need to cut our losses.
400
00:16:47,334 --> 00:16:48,467
Fine, then you quit.
401
00:16:48,467 --> 00:16:50,100
I was there first.
I'm not quitting.
402
00:16:50,100 --> 00:16:51,701
Well, I'm not
letting you fire me.
403
00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:52,968
Fine, then you're
not fired.
404
00:16:52,968 --> 00:16:54,501
Good. I quit.
405
00:16:54,501 --> 00:16:56,501
I was just giving you
constructive criticism.
406
00:16:56,501 --> 00:16:57,801
The kind you get
all the time.
407
00:16:57,801 --> 00:16:59,634
Well, I didn't like
getting it from you.
408
00:16:59,634 --> 00:17:01,601
We shouldn't work together.
We shouldn't.
409
00:17:01,601 --> 00:17:03,133
Damn it. Russell
was right.
410
00:17:03,133 --> 00:17:04,434
Great, that's all
we need.
411
00:17:06,667 --> 00:17:08,868
God, I can hear
him now.
412
00:17:08,868 --> 00:17:10,567
"I don't want to
call you stupid, but...
413
00:17:10,567 --> 00:17:12,467
you kind of are."
414
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:16,000
Hey. You know, Russell
won't know he was right
415
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,400
if you make
that presentation.
416
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,367
Well, I'd like to.
I mean, I did all that work.
417
00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:20,501
Well, great.
418
00:17:20,501 --> 00:17:23,300
So you gonna do it...
as is
419
00:17:23,300 --> 00:17:25,601
or with...changes?
420
00:17:25,601 --> 00:17:27,467
I'll make your changes.
421
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:30,567
I mean, you are the boss. You do
know what the client wants.
422
00:17:30,567 --> 00:17:32,734
And that's what
I came up with.
423
00:17:32,734 --> 00:17:35,000
Frankly, it's
a little boring.
424
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,300
We were hoping
for something bolder.
425
00:17:37,300 --> 00:17:39,167
Something to update
our image.
426
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,334
Really?
427
00:17:40,334 --> 00:17:41,968
I totally agree with you.
428
00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:45,000
I'm such an assface.
429
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:48,234
You kind of are.
430
00:17:56,067 --> 00:17:58,234
Hey...dude.
431
00:17:58,234 --> 00:18:00,100
I don't know if you had
a hand in all this,
432
00:18:00,100 --> 00:18:01,801
but if you did...
433
00:18:01,801 --> 00:18:03,000
thanks.
434
00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:12,133
Oh, that can't
be good.
435
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:17,667
Good as new.
436
00:18:21,467 --> 00:18:23,634
Come on!
437
00:18:23,634 --> 00:18:25,100
What happened?
438
00:18:25,100 --> 00:18:26,467
I broke the idol.
439
00:18:26,467 --> 00:18:29,100
What? Jeff. That is
Jennifer's.
440
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,868
I know. Sorry.
I'll fix it.
Well, you better.
441
00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:33,734
I know you thought
that idol was a big joke,
442
00:18:33,734 --> 00:18:35,267
but you didn't have to
go break it.
443
00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:37,300
It was
an accident.
444
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,033
You know me. When
things are going good,
445
00:18:39,033 --> 00:18:40,467
I don't change
anything.
446
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:42,601
Yes, I know. I remember
that disgusting
447
00:18:42,601 --> 00:18:45,767
Mets winning-streak
underwear.
448
00:18:45,767 --> 00:18:47,400
I never should've
let you wash those.
449
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,067
That cost us
the World Series.
450
00:18:50,067 --> 00:18:52,567
Now that the idol's broken...
451
00:18:52,567 --> 00:18:55,801
it may cost me
my super sperm.
452
00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,267
Oh, yeah. That would be
a tragedy, wouldn't it?
453
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,167
Then you couldn't brag
to everyone about it.
454
00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:01,801
Uh, that's
not it.
455
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:03,033
Oh, then, was is it?
456
00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,534
I guess...
457
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:07,300
over the last
few months...
458
00:19:07,300 --> 00:19:08,634
I've just been feeling--
459
00:19:09,667 --> 00:19:11,400
Ah, forget it.
No, no. No, no.
460
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:12,934
Just tell me.
I don't wanna!
461
00:19:12,934 --> 00:19:14,734
Just tell me how you feel--
Frustrated!
462
00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:15,767
Good. Why?
463
00:19:15,767 --> 00:19:17,133
Because I want us
to have a baby,
464
00:19:17,133 --> 00:19:18,067
and it's not happening.
465
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:20,834
So you do want
to have a baby?
466
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:22,133
Yeah, of course.
467
00:19:22,133 --> 00:19:23,534
Why would you
even say that?
468
00:19:23,534 --> 00:19:25,801
Well, because lately you haven't
seemed so excited
469
00:19:25,801 --> 00:19:27,300
about the whole thing.
470
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:29,868
Because it's not happening,
and it's my fault.
471
00:19:31,534 --> 00:19:32,701
Oh, honey.
472
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:37,033
No. Lots and lots
of things
473
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,334
in this marriage
are your fault...
474
00:19:40,801 --> 00:19:42,601
but this isn't
one of 'em.
475
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,734
Whatever happens, we're
in this thing together.
476
00:19:46,734 --> 00:19:48,567
Really?
Yes, we are a team.
477
00:19:48,567 --> 00:19:49,834
We're like the Mets.
478
00:19:49,834 --> 00:19:52,501
Before or after
you washed the underwear?
479
00:19:52,501 --> 00:19:53,634
Before.
480
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:55,934
Come on.
481
00:19:57,834 --> 00:19:59,400
And, you know, if
breaking that idol
482
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:00,767
really did ruin
your streak...
483
00:20:00,767 --> 00:20:02,601
you better get to
that bedroom quickly,
484
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:04,033
before you lose
your, uh--
485
00:20:04,033 --> 00:20:05,467
Can I say it?
486
00:20:05,467 --> 00:20:06,868
Yes.
487
00:20:06,868 --> 00:20:08,100
Super sperm.
488
00:20:14,567 --> 00:20:16,901
If I let you watch,
will you forgive me?
489
00:20:25,567 --> 00:20:27,367
Hi. I'm Crystal
from IT.
490
00:20:27,367 --> 00:20:29,100
I'm here to fix
your computer.
491
00:20:30,300 --> 00:20:32,000
Oh, my God.
492
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:35,200
Have I looked at so much porn
that I somehow...
493
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,701
entered porn?
494
00:20:37,701 --> 00:20:39,334
Better run a little test.
495
00:20:40,767 --> 00:20:42,934
So...
496
00:20:42,934 --> 00:20:44,400
what are you gonna
do here today?
497
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:46,567
Uh...service
my hardware?
498
00:20:47,934 --> 00:20:50,734
Yes, I am.
That's my job.
499
00:20:50,734 --> 00:20:53,267
Damn. That was
inconclusive.
500
00:20:53,267 --> 00:20:55,200
Maybe the only way
to know is to...
501
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,067
make a move on her.
502
00:20:58,434 --> 00:21:00,701
Well, I hope you're
good at your job,
503
00:21:00,701 --> 00:21:03,133
because...maybe later...
504
00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:04,734
you and I could--
505
00:21:04,734 --> 00:21:06,601
What the hell do
you think you're doing?
506
00:21:06,601 --> 00:21:09,000
Still not sure.
507
00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:12,801
Oh.
508
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,634
Oh! Not porn.
36443
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