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1
00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:08,100
Hey.
2
00:00:09,434 --> 00:00:11,467
Oh, my God. What happened?
3
00:00:11,467 --> 00:00:14,033
I was hungry.
4
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:17,701
I meant to my life.
5
00:00:17,701 --> 00:00:19,067
What are you eating?
6
00:00:19,067 --> 00:00:21,567
It's, uh,
last night's spaghetti,
7
00:00:21,567 --> 00:00:22,567
some random nuts.
8
00:00:24,300 --> 00:00:25,367
You were so embarrassed
9
00:00:25,367 --> 00:00:27,801
you didn't want your pants
to see?
10
00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:31,567
Five o'clock today
begins Jeff's mini vacation.
11
00:00:31,567 --> 00:00:33,968
I'm Jeff.
12
00:00:33,968 --> 00:00:35,968
We've met, but Barb's gonna
be here any minute,
13
00:00:35,968 --> 00:00:38,167
so, uh, would you put on
some pants?
14
00:00:38,167 --> 00:00:39,968
You know, I can't believe
that your sister
15
00:00:39,968 --> 00:00:42,634
chose the week I took days off
to make a surprise visit.
16
00:00:42,634 --> 00:00:44,968
I like Barb,
but having someone around
17
00:00:44,968 --> 00:00:47,434
is gonna cramp my style.
18
00:00:47,434 --> 00:00:49,033
Okay, first of all...
19
00:00:49,033 --> 00:00:51,934
style?
20
00:00:51,934 --> 00:00:53,634
And I hardly get to see her
at all.
21
00:00:53,634 --> 00:00:55,734
This is the first time
I get her all to myself.
22
00:00:55,734 --> 00:00:59,100
Why isn't Rick coming?
Kenny G concert?
23
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,868
Rick is a great guy, all right?
24
00:01:00,868 --> 00:01:03,634
He's like my family.
I practically grew up with him.
25
00:01:03,634 --> 00:01:05,434
Plus, he and Barb have, like--
26
00:01:05,434 --> 00:01:07,667
The perfect marriage.
27
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,100
Well, they do.
28
00:01:09,100 --> 00:01:11,367
We could learn a little
something from them, you know.
29
00:01:11,367 --> 00:01:13,234
Yeah, I don't wanna learn
anything from a guy
30
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:15,601
who dry-cleans his jeans.
31
00:01:17,234 --> 00:01:19,367
They have Saturday date night.
32
00:01:19,367 --> 00:01:22,367
They power walk together.
They even garden.
33
00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:24,901
You know what? You're right.
We should be more like them.
34
00:01:24,901 --> 00:01:27,167
This Saturday night,
let's power walk to the bedroom
35
00:01:27,167 --> 00:01:29,100
and plant some corn.
36
00:01:31,501 --> 00:01:33,267
Just put on some pants.
37
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,300
All right, fine.
38
00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:35,868
Oh, guess what I found
in the closet?
39
00:01:35,868 --> 00:01:36,968
The closet?
40
00:01:36,968 --> 00:01:38,534
That's not my DVD. That--
41
00:01:38,534 --> 00:01:41,200
Uh, Adam put that there.
42
00:01:42,167 --> 00:01:43,534
No,
43
00:01:43,534 --> 00:01:45,901
this picture of me and Barb
when we were kids.
44
00:01:45,901 --> 00:01:46,901
Cute, huh?
45
00:01:46,901 --> 00:01:48,968
Who's the little boy?
46
00:01:48,968 --> 00:01:51,567
That's me.
47
00:01:52,801 --> 00:01:54,300
I had a pixie cut.
48
00:01:54,300 --> 00:01:56,100
They were very popular.
49
00:01:56,100 --> 00:01:59,033
I'm guessing you weren't.
Heh.
50
00:02:10,634 --> 00:02:12,367
Oh, it's so good to see you.
51
00:02:12,367 --> 00:02:13,434
Oh.
52
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,434
You look great.
53
00:02:14,434 --> 00:02:16,100
Oh, California living.
54
00:02:16,100 --> 00:02:18,400
Oh, you-- Look at you.
You look good too.
55
00:02:18,400 --> 00:02:20,167
Oh, New York stress
and anxiety.
56
00:02:20,167 --> 00:02:22,667
Oh.
Come on in.
57
00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:23,667
How's Rick?
58
00:02:23,667 --> 00:02:25,067
How's the new house?
59
00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:27,801
Rick's good.
House is good.
60
00:02:27,801 --> 00:02:29,501
Got a koi pond.
- Okay,
61
00:02:29,501 --> 00:02:32,434
I think I've come up with
a compromise.
62
00:02:36,767 --> 00:02:38,868
The old Speedo.
63
00:02:41,868 --> 00:02:43,701
Hello, Barbara.
64
00:02:43,701 --> 00:02:46,701
Hey, Jeff. Let's not hug.
65
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,367
I'm just saying
66
00:03:13,367 --> 00:03:16,133
that once she tells you
that she hates her father,
67
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:18,467
you're in.
68
00:03:18,467 --> 00:03:20,734
I don't hate my father,
and Adam was still in.
69
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:23,133
Yeah, but he's in,
as in "trapped."
70
00:03:23,133 --> 00:03:24,367
I'm talkin' in, like,
71
00:03:24,367 --> 00:03:27,567
"Hey, where'd that guy
I just had sex with go?"
72
00:03:28,934 --> 00:03:30,767
Move over.
Hey, Bigfoot.
73
00:03:30,767 --> 00:03:34,968
The one day
I forget my camera.
74
00:03:34,968 --> 00:03:38,067
How would you like my big foot
to smash you like a bug?
75
00:03:39,367 --> 00:03:41,701
I'm good.
76
00:03:41,701 --> 00:03:44,701
All right, well, I'm gonna
let you little rascals
77
00:03:44,701 --> 00:03:47,634
start your meeting
of the He-Man Woman Haters Club.
78
00:03:47,634 --> 00:03:50,501
I'll see you later,
Spanky.
79
00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:52,434
Okay, okay.
Yeah, you caught me one time.
80
00:03:52,434 --> 00:03:54,200
Now I'm Spanky?
81
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:57,667
Spanky's a character
on The Little Rascals.
82
00:03:59,100 --> 00:04:00,767
Oh.
83
00:04:00,767 --> 00:04:03,767
Heh. She-- She never caught me.
84
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:06,434
Audrey's sister
is really throwing a wrench
85
00:04:06,434 --> 00:04:07,834
in my days off.
86
00:04:07,834 --> 00:04:09,334
You wanna spend them
with Audrey?
87
00:04:09,334 --> 00:04:11,534
What?
88
00:04:11,534 --> 00:04:14,100
Is Audrey standing behind me
right now?
89
00:04:14,100 --> 00:04:15,567
No.
Don't be stupid.
90
00:04:15,567 --> 00:04:18,534
I wanted to spend
my time off alone.
91
00:04:18,534 --> 00:04:21,734
Oh, I-I haven't had alone time
since I moved in with Jen.
92
00:04:21,734 --> 00:04:24,467
Ha-ha. You sure
about that, Spanky?
93
00:04:25,901 --> 00:04:28,133
I just meant that Jen and I
are always together.
94
00:04:28,133 --> 00:04:29,901
You know, sometimes
I just wanna zone out
95
00:04:29,901 --> 00:04:31,400
and not have anybody
talking to me.
96
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:32,701
They do love talking.
97
00:04:32,701 --> 00:04:34,200
Yeah, may be nice
to watch Jeopardy
98
00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:37,067
without her shouting out
the answers before I do.
99
00:04:37,067 --> 00:04:39,300
You don't know
the answers.
100
00:04:39,300 --> 00:04:40,701
I-I-I know some.
101
00:04:40,701 --> 00:04:44,167
A lot during Celebrity Week.
102
00:04:44,167 --> 00:04:45,267
Anyway, I love Jen,
103
00:04:45,267 --> 00:04:47,100
but I just need some alone time,
you know?
104
00:04:47,100 --> 00:04:50,234
Yeah, when I walk into our place
and Audrey's not there...
105
00:04:51,801 --> 00:04:54,234
...so good.
106
00:04:54,234 --> 00:04:56,167
Oh, that sounds great.
107
00:04:56,167 --> 00:04:58,501
That's why I love
not being in a relationship:
108
00:04:58,501 --> 00:05:01,267
I'm always alone.
109
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,501
Well, see, alone time
110
00:05:02,501 --> 00:05:06,167
is only valuable
as a contrast to a relationship.
111
00:05:06,167 --> 00:05:10,000
Sometimes there's nothing better
than not being with your wife.
112
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,601
Mm. Or your fianc�e.
113
00:05:11,601 --> 00:05:13,634
Yeah, it was great
not being with Audrey
114
00:05:13,634 --> 00:05:14,834
when we were engaged,
115
00:05:14,834 --> 00:05:18,467
but it's even better
when you're married.
116
00:05:18,467 --> 00:05:22,767
Mm-mm. I can't wait to not be
with Jen when we're married.
117
00:05:22,767 --> 00:05:24,834
And even when
she's not there,
118
00:05:24,834 --> 00:05:27,934
lock the door, Spanky.
119
00:05:31,467 --> 00:05:33,300
Audrey,
I wanna record something,
120
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,467
but it says it's supposed to
record a ball game.
121
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:37,868
Oh, that's Jeff's.
You can change it.
122
00:05:37,868 --> 00:05:39,367
The season's almost over.
123
00:05:39,367 --> 00:05:41,767
That game
can't be that important.
124
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,734
Hey, honey.
125
00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:57,901
Oh, it was good.
A little turbulence.
126
00:05:57,901 --> 00:05:59,601
The barbecue tongs?
127
00:05:59,601 --> 00:06:01,067
I don't know where they are.
128
00:06:01,067 --> 00:06:03,901
Just use salad tongs.
129
00:06:03,901 --> 00:06:07,067
Tongs are tongs, Rick.
130
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:09,200
Look, I-I'm just checking into
the hotel here,
131
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:11,634
so let's talk later, okay?
132
00:06:12,367 --> 00:06:14,300
Okay, bye.
133
00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:17,801
The hotel?
134
00:06:17,801 --> 00:06:22,300
Yeah, um, he thinks I'm on
a business trip in Boston.
135
00:06:22,300 --> 00:06:23,801
W--?
I'm--
136
00:06:23,801 --> 00:06:27,934
I'm here because, um,
Rick and I are having problems.
137
00:06:27,934 --> 00:06:30,767
Is it just the tongs? 'Cause
you guys can work that out. Heh.
138
00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:32,601
No, that's not it.
139
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:35,467
I-I've caught Jeff using
the spatula as a backscratcher.
140
00:06:35,467 --> 00:06:38,567
While flipping burgers.
141
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,467
Audrey,
it's bigger than that.
142
00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,901
I mean, everything with Rick
has become about image
143
00:06:42,901 --> 00:06:44,167
and looking good.
144
00:06:44,167 --> 00:06:45,601
I mean, I'm sick of it.
145
00:06:45,601 --> 00:06:47,000
No, it's just a rough patch.
146
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,267
Come on. You guys
were high-school sweethearts.
147
00:06:49,267 --> 00:06:51,200
You know, maybe that's it.
148
00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:53,100
Maybe I never sowed
my wild oats.
149
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:55,100
I mean, maybe I should've dated
a thousand guys.
150
00:06:55,100 --> 00:06:56,868
Like you.
151
00:06:56,868 --> 00:06:58,601
If I'd had a guy like Rick,
152
00:06:58,601 --> 00:07:00,934
I wouldn't have had to date
a thousand guys.
153
00:07:00,934 --> 00:07:03,868
You know, maybe I just need to
get something out of my system.
154
00:07:03,868 --> 00:07:05,667
Like having meaningless sex
155
00:07:05,667 --> 00:07:07,901
with a sleazy video-store clerk.
156
00:07:07,901 --> 00:07:10,734
He wasn't a clerk.
He was night manager.
157
00:07:10,734 --> 00:07:12,200
Oh.
158
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:15,634
Oh, I know, I--
I just need to cut loose.
159
00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:18,100
Ah, your doorman
looked kinda wild.
160
00:07:18,100 --> 00:07:19,234
You think he's available?
161
00:07:19,234 --> 00:07:23,067
The doorman? Manny? Stop it.
162
00:07:23,067 --> 00:07:25,033
You and Rick
are great together.
163
00:07:25,033 --> 00:07:27,033
I don't know anymore.
164
00:07:27,033 --> 00:07:29,734
Look, just trust me. Come on.
This is just a little phase.
165
00:07:29,734 --> 00:07:31,501
Oh, never mind.
166
00:07:31,501 --> 00:07:33,000
I'm gonna go take a shower.
167
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,033
All right.
168
00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:35,267
Close the curtain.
169
00:07:35,267 --> 00:07:38,534
There's a pervert across the way
with a telescope.
170
00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:41,100
He's married.
171
00:07:45,767 --> 00:07:48,434
Jeff 1, urinal cake nothing.
172
00:07:50,734 --> 00:07:52,234
You washed your hands, right?
173
00:07:52,234 --> 00:07:56,067
It said "employees must."
174
00:08:03,634 --> 00:08:05,634
Go for Jeff Bingham.
175
00:08:06,767 --> 00:08:08,534
Hey, Audrey. Diner.
176
00:08:08,534 --> 00:08:12,300
Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Okay.
177
00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:18,567
Wow. So that's what married
phone sex sounds like?
178
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,367
Audrey's on her way down,
so maybe you should go.
179
00:08:23,367 --> 00:08:26,167
Why does she think
I'm such a dirtbag?
180
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:28,133
What do you tell her about me?
181
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:30,300
The truth.
182
00:08:30,300 --> 00:08:34,100
Well, that only makes me look
like a jackass.
183
00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,334
She just dropped a bomb.
184
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:37,467
Barb and Rick
are on the rocks, so...
185
00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:39,934
Ooh la la.
186
00:08:39,934 --> 00:08:42,133
Audrey's hot sister
might be avail?
187
00:08:42,133 --> 00:08:46,334
Mmm. Might be time to throw
a shrimp on the Barbie.
188
00:08:46,334 --> 00:08:49,834
You just called yourself
a shrimp.
189
00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:53,501
Ha-ha. I don't care,
as long as it's on the Barbie.
190
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:56,167
Hey.
Oh, hey, hon.
191
00:08:56,167 --> 00:08:57,801
Hey.
192
00:08:57,801 --> 00:08:59,734
Sorry about Barb.
193
00:08:59,734 --> 00:09:02,501
Listen, you know, I always
liked her. She's really--
194
00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:05,367
No way. Never.
She's nothing to you.
195
00:09:05,367 --> 00:09:08,067
No, I'm just saying--
196
00:09:08,067 --> 00:09:10,000
No, you weren't.
197
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:12,567
But I--
- No.
198
00:09:12,567 --> 00:09:16,100
Besides being married, Barb
is a mature, intelligent woman.
199
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:17,868
And?
200
00:09:17,868 --> 00:09:22,767
And you're a horny
little Chucky doll.
201
00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:27,734
You know, I'm not as bad a guy
as you think I am.
202
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:28,901
I have feelings.
203
00:09:28,901 --> 00:09:30,801
In your pants.
204
00:09:31,767 --> 00:09:34,033
Dude.
205
00:09:34,033 --> 00:09:35,501
Look. Ahem. I'm sure
206
00:09:35,501 --> 00:09:38,100
I'm about the gazillionth
person to say this to you,
207
00:09:38,100 --> 00:09:40,267
but, uh, stay away
from my sister.
208
00:09:40,267 --> 00:09:41,667
Okay?
209
00:09:41,667 --> 00:09:42,734
Isn't there some
210
00:09:42,734 --> 00:09:44,634
girls with low self-esteem
convention
211
00:09:44,634 --> 00:09:46,901
you should be lurking around?
212
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:49,634
Uh...
213
00:09:49,634 --> 00:09:53,667
Well, there is that bakery
next to the weight-loss center.
214
00:09:58,534 --> 00:10:00,167
Hey, Jen.
215
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:04,834
Jen?
216
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:17,701
"Name That Poet,"
217
00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:21,167
"Stamps" and, finally,
"Letter Perfect."
218
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:25,467
All right, it's Teen Week.
I'm gonna kick some ass.
219
00:10:25,467 --> 00:10:28,000
"Shall I compare thee
to a summer's day?"
220
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,801
Oh, uh, who is
William Shakespeare?
221
00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:31,734
I know, I can't believe
they voted him off.
222
00:10:31,734 --> 00:10:33,834
He was the best one.
Hey, hon.
223
00:10:33,834 --> 00:10:34,834
Hey.
Okay, Kiki.
224
00:10:34,834 --> 00:10:36,434
I'll talk to you later.
Bye.
225
00:10:36,434 --> 00:10:37,434
What you watchin'?
226
00:10:37,434 --> 00:10:39,133
Nothing.
227
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:41,701
Oh, Jeopardy. Great.
228
00:10:41,701 --> 00:10:43,267
"This markswoman was featured
229
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:46,567
in the Legends of the West
series from 1994."
230
00:10:46,567 --> 00:10:47,834
Oh, who is--?
Annie Oakley.
231
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:49,400
Who is Annie Oakley?
232
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,434
Correct.
Ooh.
233
00:10:54,067 --> 00:10:55,367
That's one for me.
234
00:10:55,367 --> 00:10:56,868
Yeah. Way to go.
235
00:10:56,868 --> 00:10:58,701
Oh.
236
00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:04,300
I mean, we are talking
about Barb and Rick.
237
00:11:04,300 --> 00:11:05,868
It's crazy, right?
238
00:11:05,868 --> 00:11:07,300
Ridiculous.
239
00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:09,868
I mean, so they have problems.
What couple doesn't?
240
00:11:09,868 --> 00:11:13,200
It's a sad fact, but half
of all marriages end in divorce.
241
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,767
It was either them or us.
242
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:19,133
We won.
243
00:11:19,133 --> 00:11:20,400
Why can't their marriage work
244
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,501
and some couple we don't know
get divorced?
245
00:11:22,501 --> 00:11:24,300
It has to be people you know.
246
00:11:26,133 --> 00:11:28,300
I don't make up the rules.
247
00:11:28,300 --> 00:11:30,200
And look at it this way,
the half of marriages
248
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:34,000
that don't end in divorce
end in death.
249
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,801
So Barb dodged a bullet there.
250
00:11:36,801 --> 00:11:41,534
She just seems so confused
and vulnerable right now.
251
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,367
Hey, is Manny working
the door tonight?
252
00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:45,367
No, tonight's ADD Larry.
253
00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:47,200
Good.
254
00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:50,200
I'm just really glad she's here
so I can look out for her.
255
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,167
I don't want her to do
something impulsive
256
00:11:52,167 --> 00:11:53,467
she's gonna regret.
257
00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:55,801
Hey, Russell.
258
00:11:55,801 --> 00:11:56,834
Barb,
259
00:11:56,834 --> 00:11:59,434
I didn't know you were in town.
260
00:12:00,934 --> 00:12:02,367
Well...
261
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:12,300
Barbara, we're back. Brought you
a pint of Cherry Garcia. Barb?
262
00:12:12,300 --> 00:12:15,634
She's got five seconds
to claim it, then it's mine.
263
00:12:15,634 --> 00:12:16,767
Oh, no.
264
00:12:16,767 --> 00:12:17,868
She went out with Russell.
265
00:12:17,868 --> 00:12:19,901
Two, one, mine.
266
00:12:21,100 --> 00:12:24,734
Russell? Oh, Barbara, no.
267
00:12:24,734 --> 00:12:27,400
Relax, he's not gonna
get anywhere with her.
268
00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:30,901
"Get anywhere with her"?
Don't even talk like that.
269
00:12:30,901 --> 00:12:32,234
She's not answering.
270
00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:34,167
What is that little weasel
up to?
271
00:12:34,167 --> 00:12:35,701
Do you know anything about this?
272
00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:36,801
I don't, I swear.
273
00:12:36,801 --> 00:12:39,100
Gonna go see if the doorman
knows anything.
274
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:40,467
Take off those shiny earrings,
275
00:12:40,467 --> 00:12:44,767
otherwise ADD Larry
won't be able to focus.
276
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:52,567
It's just that our life
is so predictable.
277
00:12:52,567 --> 00:12:56,200
Date night every Saturday,
power walk every Sunday.
278
00:12:56,200 --> 00:12:59,067
Oh, snore-us bore-ealis.
279
00:12:59,067 --> 00:13:02,200
And every morning,
Rick gets up at 6,
280
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:04,434
on the treadmill
for exactly one hour,
281
00:13:04,434 --> 00:13:06,467
and then 100 crunches.
282
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:09,267
Every freakin' day.
283
00:13:09,267 --> 00:13:11,267
Now, you don't look like
you go to the gym at all.
284
00:13:12,767 --> 00:13:13,834
Oh, yeah, well, I used to,
285
00:13:13,834 --> 00:13:15,667
but I got all 'roided out.
286
00:13:15,667 --> 00:13:17,634
You know? A lot of rage.
287
00:13:17,634 --> 00:13:19,167
Lucky to be alive.
288
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:20,767
Ha-ha. Oh, my God.
289
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,167
You mean you were once
more ripped than you are now?
290
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,767
Hey, speakin' of ripped.
291
00:13:25,767 --> 00:13:28,367
Anyway,
292
00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:30,501
you want my opinion, Barbarella?
293
00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:31,801
I think ol' Rick
294
00:13:31,801 --> 00:13:36,000
might be trying to make up
for a certain shortcoming.
295
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,534
Oh, believe me,
that's not it.
296
00:13:38,534 --> 00:13:40,834
Ah, crap.
297
00:13:40,834 --> 00:13:42,667
If anything,
it's the opposite.
298
00:13:42,667 --> 00:13:44,701
Right. Right.
I mean,
299
00:13:44,701 --> 00:13:48,467
the man's got--
Okay. What else is goin' on?
300
00:13:48,467 --> 00:13:50,367
I just love your mustache.
301
00:13:50,367 --> 00:13:51,801
Ah.
It's so...
302
00:13:51,801 --> 00:13:54,167
dirty.
Oh. Oh. Heh.
303
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,234
It's actually a goatee.
There's more down here.
304
00:13:56,234 --> 00:13:58,400
The light's so horrible in here.
305
00:13:58,400 --> 00:14:00,534
Oh, wow.
Wow.
306
00:14:00,534 --> 00:14:03,367
Somebody cleaned out
the aquarium. Ha-ha.
307
00:14:03,367 --> 00:14:04,934
Look, I found Nemo.
308
00:14:04,934 --> 00:14:07,367
Heh. You know,
Rick would never eat this.
309
00:14:07,367 --> 00:14:09,934
Dry carbs after 3 p.m.
is a no-no.
310
00:14:09,934 --> 00:14:12,267
I think forgetting about Rick
for the rest of the night
311
00:14:12,267 --> 00:14:14,367
is a big yes-yes.
312
00:14:14,367 --> 00:14:17,701
Oh, how are you supposed
to eat these? They're huge.
313
00:14:17,701 --> 00:14:19,200
You think those are huge--
314
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:20,968
Got it.
315
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:28,200
Hey.
316
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,000
Oh, hey.
317
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,334
What you reading?
318
00:14:32,868 --> 00:14:34,634
Wait, was that baby Shiloh?
Turn back.
319
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,234
Oh, my God.
That's all of them.
320
00:14:39,234 --> 00:14:42,801
Baby Shiloh, baby Suri,
and Kingston and Apple.
321
00:14:42,801 --> 00:14:44,968
This is the greatest issue
ever.
322
00:14:44,968 --> 00:14:48,434
Seriously, get out.
323
00:14:48,434 --> 00:14:50,868
Huh?
Yeah. Get out. Get out.
324
00:14:50,868 --> 00:14:52,634
Get out, have fun.
325
00:14:52,634 --> 00:14:55,367
You know? You-- You--
You seemed stressed lately.
326
00:14:55,367 --> 00:14:57,434
Oh, I don't feel stressed.
327
00:14:57,434 --> 00:15:01,033
That's the first sign of stress,
is not feeling it.
328
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,501
You know, you should just have
a night out with the girls.
329
00:15:03,501 --> 00:15:06,267
Kiki and Deb asked me to go
to see Breakfast at Tiffany's
330
00:15:06,267 --> 00:15:07,534
at the Film Forum tonight.
331
00:15:07,534 --> 00:15:10,033
That's great. Go.
332
00:15:11,133 --> 00:15:13,234
I don't think I can make it.
333
00:15:13,234 --> 00:15:16,000
Oh, you can if you leave
right now. Here.
334
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,300
All right, are you sure
you'll be okay without me?
335
00:15:18,300 --> 00:15:20,067
Oh, honey,
tonight's about you.
336
00:15:20,067 --> 00:15:21,300
Now, go.
337
00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,234
All right, I'll be home by 11.
338
00:15:23,234 --> 00:15:25,467
Eleven p.m., 11 a.m., no rush.
339
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,033
Change of plans.
340
00:15:35,033 --> 00:15:36,033
I don't know why
341
00:15:36,033 --> 00:15:37,033
she's not picking up.
342
00:15:37,033 --> 00:15:38,567
Russell's moving in on Barb.
343
00:15:38,567 --> 00:15:40,033
Russell's not picking up
either.
344
00:15:40,033 --> 00:15:42,334
Probably sees it's me calling.
I'll make us some tea.
345
00:15:42,334 --> 00:15:44,200
I don't want tea.
346
00:15:47,234 --> 00:15:49,400
Oh, seriously,
347
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,534
light beer?
348
00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:56,501
What?
349
00:15:56,501 --> 00:15:59,234
Yeah, I just had some really
nice alone time all set up,
350
00:15:59,234 --> 00:16:01,167
and your wife
came over and ruined it.
351
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:03,934
Yeah, she does that.
352
00:16:03,934 --> 00:16:04,868
Come on in.
353
00:16:06,968 --> 00:16:09,601
I was, uh, just about
to watch today's game.
354
00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:11,133
I recorded it earlier,
355
00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,567
so keep the talking
to a minimum.
356
00:16:13,567 --> 00:16:16,901
Pants are optional.
357
00:16:16,901 --> 00:16:19,501
Hm. I-I opt to keep them on.
358
00:16:21,367 --> 00:16:23,567
We each have our own path.
359
00:16:23,567 --> 00:16:25,501
This is the first time
I've been alone
360
00:16:25,501 --> 00:16:27,968
since Audrey's sister
got here.
361
00:16:27,968 --> 00:16:30,234
Let's watch the game.
362
00:16:30,234 --> 00:16:31,334
Today,
363
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,667
I've got the world's best
364
00:16:33,667 --> 00:16:36,200
cupcakes!
365
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,667
What the hell?
366
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:41,868
I wouldn't mind a cupcake.
367
00:16:41,868 --> 00:16:44,534
Whoa. Hey, watch the floppage.
368
00:16:45,934 --> 00:16:49,200
My house, my floppage.
369
00:16:51,601 --> 00:16:53,033
Mmm. Ooh.
Mmm.
370
00:16:53,033 --> 00:16:55,234
Mmm. This chocolate
is so good.
371
00:16:55,234 --> 00:16:56,467
Yeah.
372
00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:58,067
You can take the last bite.
373
00:16:58,067 --> 00:17:00,667
No, I want you to have it.
374
00:17:00,667 --> 00:17:02,167
Oh.
375
00:17:02,167 --> 00:17:04,367
Um. Mmm. Good.
376
00:17:04,367 --> 00:17:05,467
Mmm.
Hey.
377
00:17:05,467 --> 00:17:07,033
You said I could have
the last bite.
378
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:08,701
I did. Oh, I'm such a liar.
379
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:11,734
I just needed one more...
380
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:13,133
bite.
381
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,734
Yeah.
You ordered another dessert,
382
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,501
you sneaky devil.
383
00:17:16,501 --> 00:17:19,033
Well, you know,
chocolate is an aphrodisiac.
384
00:17:20,834 --> 00:17:23,634
Audrey was wrong about you.
You're fun.
385
00:17:23,634 --> 00:17:25,534
Aren't I? Come on. I'm fun.
386
00:17:25,534 --> 00:17:28,701
Yeah, that's what I need
in my life. More fun.
387
00:17:28,701 --> 00:17:30,968
You wanna have some crazy fun?
388
00:17:30,968 --> 00:17:32,534
Might involve
389
00:17:32,534 --> 00:17:34,067
getting loud and sweaty.
390
00:17:46,067 --> 00:17:48,501
Oh, oh, oh!
391
00:17:57,267 --> 00:17:58,267
Yeah.
392
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,934
I can't believe she's not home.
It's almost 4 in the morning.
393
00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:14,234
Here, call Russell again.
394
00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:16,367
Huh?
Oh, God, it is
395
00:18:16,367 --> 00:18:20,033
so creepy when you sleep
with your eyes open.
396
00:18:22,133 --> 00:18:24,834
That's what everyone
at work says.
397
00:18:26,934 --> 00:18:28,167
Oh, it is about time.
398
00:18:28,167 --> 00:18:30,234
You better not have taken
advantage of my sister,
399
00:18:30,234 --> 00:18:31,901
you little ferret.
400
00:18:31,901 --> 00:18:33,367
Audrey,
401
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:35,534
he was a complete gentleman.
402
00:18:35,534 --> 00:18:37,200
You brainwashed her.
403
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,133
Jeff,
pound him into the floor.
404
00:18:39,133 --> 00:18:41,601
All right.
405
00:18:41,601 --> 00:18:43,567
Audrey,
he didn't do anything.
406
00:18:43,567 --> 00:18:45,234
In fact,
I made a move on him.
407
00:18:45,234 --> 00:18:47,834
Why? I mean, look at him
and look at you.
408
00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,734
But he turned me down.
409
00:18:49,734 --> 00:18:52,767
Why? I mean, look at her
and look at you.
410
00:18:52,767 --> 00:18:54,901
I get it.
She's more attractive.
411
00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:56,801
Then what were you
doing all night?
412
00:18:56,801 --> 00:18:58,400
Well, um, mostly talked.
413
00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:00,667
I mean, Russell told me
how his parents had problems,
414
00:19:00,667 --> 00:19:01,901
but they just gave up.
415
00:19:01,901 --> 00:19:04,434
And he thinks their divorce
was the biggest regret
416
00:19:04,434 --> 00:19:05,434
of their lives.
417
00:19:05,434 --> 00:19:08,767
Next to having children.
418
00:19:08,767 --> 00:19:10,234
Anyway,
419
00:19:10,234 --> 00:19:11,767
I decided I owe it
to my marriage
420
00:19:11,767 --> 00:19:13,767
to try and work things out
with Rick.
421
00:19:13,767 --> 00:19:15,234
That guy there?
422
00:19:17,534 --> 00:19:20,067
And it was just then
that Audrey realized
423
00:19:20,067 --> 00:19:23,100
that maybe, just maybe,
there was more to Russell
424
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,000
than meets the eye.
425
00:19:26,501 --> 00:19:27,968
Off to bed, kids.
426
00:19:27,968 --> 00:19:29,200
Nice to see you, Barb.
427
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:30,934
Thanks for everything.
428
00:19:34,734 --> 00:19:36,300
All right.
429
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,634
So, what's your angle?
430
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:39,501
Why do I have to have an angle?
431
00:19:39,501 --> 00:19:42,100
Can't I just be a good guy?
432
00:19:42,100 --> 00:19:44,667
All right, here's the angle.
433
00:19:45,901 --> 00:19:47,767
Sure, I could've
nailed that shut tonight,
434
00:19:47,767 --> 00:19:50,067
but then she'd feel guilty,
and that'd be the end of it.
435
00:19:50,067 --> 00:19:51,868
But if I play me cards right,
436
00:19:51,868 --> 00:19:54,000
and wait till
the marriage fizzles,
437
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,334
then it pays off big.
438
00:19:55,334 --> 00:19:56,701
It's like a savings bond
439
00:19:56,701 --> 00:19:59,567
with hot sex dividends.
440
00:20:00,634 --> 00:20:02,534
I'm not buying it.
441
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:04,901
I think you might actually be
a good guy.
442
00:20:06,567 --> 00:20:08,400
I'm just kidding.
You're a dirtbag.
443
00:20:13,734 --> 00:20:16,501
Jeff? Jeff?
444
00:20:16,501 --> 00:20:17,501
Hey, Jeff.
445
00:20:17,501 --> 00:20:18,534
Yeah?
446
00:20:18,534 --> 00:20:19,934
I thought you'd wanna know,
447
00:20:19,934 --> 00:20:21,667
things with me and Barb
are okay now.
448
00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,067
Oh, thanks
for waking me up.
449
00:20:23,067 --> 00:20:26,834
That could not have waited
till the morning.
450
00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:32,100
Hey, what Barb and Rick
are going through...
451
00:20:32,100 --> 00:20:33,267
Could that happen to us?
452
00:20:33,267 --> 00:20:36,000
Sure. Sure.
453
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,334
What do you mean?
454
00:20:37,334 --> 00:20:38,601
I mean it's 5 a.m.
455
00:20:38,601 --> 00:20:41,834
If you don't stop talking,
we're through.
456
00:20:45,467 --> 00:20:48,167
You know, I really thought that
they had the perfect marriage,
457
00:20:48,167 --> 00:20:49,467
you know?
458
00:20:49,467 --> 00:20:51,868
I guess they were just too good
to be true.
459
00:20:51,868 --> 00:20:55,234
Well, that's what I like
about us.
460
00:20:55,234 --> 00:20:57,400
We're not too good to be true.
461
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,968
We're just good enough.
462
00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:05,367
What are you doing?
463
00:21:05,367 --> 00:21:09,267
If we ever renew our vows,
I wanna remember that phrase.
464
00:21:09,267 --> 00:21:13,234
Really? Heh. You think about
renewing our vows?
465
00:21:13,234 --> 00:21:17,167
Yeah, you're right.
32121
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